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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/22/25

So with Kelly out of the house, Summer has been whining about being bored and lonely to everyone she knows, and by “everyone she knows” I mean her daughter and her two coworkers and that’s it, which is very clearly part of the problem. The way the whining went is that she would say “What if I got back into the dating scene! Ha ha! Wouldn’t that be crazy” and other people were like “Uh you know there are lots of other things you could do outside the house, right” and Summer was like “What I’m hearing is that you think I should find a man, for sex.” Anyway, I’m loving the footnote in panel two, assuring us that Summer’s first pass at finding a sex partner isn’t really ending with the guy having a stroke right there at the table and Summer just sighing heavily rather than attempting to find medical help for him. He’s just boring!

Slylock Fox, 1/22/25

Both these panels take place as part of the awful Event that saw animals abruptly become sapient and our human world violently transformed into the animal-dominated realm of Slylock and his Forest Kingdom apparatus of oppression. In the first panel, the wolf, still puzzled by his newfound knowledge of the world, is merely aping the predatory stories he’s discovered in human fairy tales about animals; in the second, the wolf is angry at the humiliation heaped upon the animal characters in those books and has decided to elaborately act out one of those stories but change the ending in an act of bloody revenge. It’s a subtle change but I trust you are discerning enough to pick up on the different vibes. In both panels, that’s a real human femur leaning up against the bed, licked clean, as evidence of the carnage that’s already occurred and an indication of more to come.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/11/25

Oh, I’m sorry, did you find the recent week’s worth of Rex Morgan, M.D., Characters Talking On The Phone boring? Well, did it ever occur to you that they found it boring too, and it’s actually really hard and stressful on them to be in this strip? Thank goodness Summer gets to take a break from the relentless changes in facial expression and hand position demanded of her and can now spend three panels blissfully staring out into space.

Pluggers, 1/11/25

I like this one because you could read it as Chicken-Lady just now taking the tree down … or just now putting it up. “I mean, it’s a full five days after Epiphany! But I guess I should put the star up there just to finish the job.”

Slylock Fox, 1/11/25

I’m sorry, I don’t believe any iteration of that child caught a fish bigger than himself. I think he’s just trying to sabotage this guy’s dating profile pic. He’s right to do it! Guys like to post fish pics but women don’t like ’em!! You’re dodging a bullet, buddy!

Blondie, 1/11/25

You foolish children! X-eyes don’t denote sleepiness! Don’t you understand what you’ve done? That snowman is dead! [starts sobbing uncontrollably] He’s dead! He’ll never wake up.

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Slylock Fox, 12/4/24

An extremely fond memory I have from my youth is seeing Fugazi playing an outdoor show in San Francisco sometime around the turn of the millennium and getting to hear Ian MacKaye earnestly plead with the crowd to not overturn the port-a-potties. “Why do punks always want to fuck up the toilets?” he asked. “Toilets are good! Toilets take shit away.” Sanitation workers are part of this same waste disposal infrastructure; they help make modern life possible, but they similarly receive endless disrespect, their reputations stained by the very purifying acts they perform on our behalf. They deserve our praise, not for children to prank them with overly elaborate mechanisms that might lead them to think some undead ghoul was attacking them while they’re just trying to do their jobs. Maybe we deserve the animals rising up to overthrow us and take over our planet, though if the expression on that cat’s face is any indication, the new civilization will be born already tainted by the sins of its predecessor.

Alice, 12/4/24

Alice! Alice, your boss, Mr. Bossman, appears to have provided exactly one computer, one table, and zero chairs for you and your coworker, so I guarantee that he is already cooking up an extremely ill-conceived plan to cut costs by replacing you with AI.