Post Content

The Phantom, 11/1/16

Hey, so remember how Kit, the Phantom’s son, journeyed to a Tibetan monastery to receive his Phantom training, which the Phantoms go back to Tibet to get every few generations? Remember how Kit had to study a bunch of old-timey bullshit history facts so that he could hoodwink the Tibetan monks into believing that he was the reincarnated soul of the man they had taught centuries ago? Well, turns out that last part was a bunch of hooey. Turns out the monks know what’s up and are happy to play along so long as the Ghost-Who-Pays-The-Bills deposits hard currency in their tax-sheltered savings account. What are we going to learn next? That the word in the Bandar tongue we’ve been translating as “ghost” all this time really just means “white dude with a pistol who wears spandex for some reason”?

Spider-Man, 11/1/16

I admit to laughing aloud at “we’ve no defense against Starr’s bug-bomb!”, because he’s saying it like the bug-bomb is a high-powered super-weapon developed by an evil genius, and not, say, an ordinary pest control product you can buy at any store over the counter. Anyway, we appear to have gotten to the point in the story where things have gotten quite silly enough, so thank God the original Ant-Man brought his canister of Undoing The Central Problem Of This Plot Potion.

Funky Winkerbean, 11/1/16

Coach Bushka, forced into retirement by incipient dementia caused by the very nature of the game he loves, about to leave for the last time the job that feels like home for him and go off into the gathering twilight of his life, pauses as he remembers his predecessor’s mortal remains, which have been sitting in a darkened corner for years and have been so thoroughly neglected that they’re covered with dust and spiderwebs. I don’t want to say “peak Funkyverse” but I feel like we’re at least on the slopes.

Post Content

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/31/16

On today, Satan’s favorite holiday, Snuffy Smith makes a big show of his contempt for God!

Crankshaft, 10/31/16

Crankshaft serves a vital role in his community, but he’s so bad at his job that some of the people who depend on him angrily vandalized his house!

Dennis the Menace, 10/31/16

Mr. Wilson has no qualms about telling Dennis that he believes the child to be a literal demon, from hell!

Hi and Lois, 10/31/16

Dot and Ditto are trying to bring a divided nation together politically, but their candy-based tax proposals will lead to economic ruin!

Mary Worth, 10/31/16

Wilbur definitely will not be regretting spending the next year far, far away from his sad sack daughter and his girlfriend who wants to spend all her time closely monitoring her pill-popping son!

Post Content

Dick Tracy, 10/30/16

I was a little dubious when Dick Tracy introduced what I assume is supposed to be a Millennial character, a guy who is a narcissist and keeps taking selfies and also is named “Selfy Narcisse.” But now it turns out that he regularly takes his car out on sweet jumps over drawbridges right as they open? I guess the kids are at least somewhat all right, after all!

Funky Winkerbean, 10/30/16

Whoops, seems I totally failed to recognize Cindy in yesterday’s strip! Anyway, Cindy and Mason are definitely not living in a world of denial that will soon be shattered by the inevitable progress of time, at all.

Hi and Lois, 10/30/16

Ha ha, it’s funny because Lois is wracked with anxiety that for some reason is manifesting itself as jack o’ lantern perfectionism, and it’s so bad that her entire family is scared and upset!