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Pluggers, 4/28/22

One of the most controversial takes I’ve ever unleashed on Twitter is that the Lockhorns are Millennials. Conversely, reporting that pluggers are almost certainly now Gen X makes my 1974-born heart heavy, but I don’t think I’m really going to get any pushback on that, and it’s true that I’m probably among the lower end of the age range that actually had to worry about paying a long distance bill. Speaking of pluggers and phone stuff, a thing that wife and I constantly chuckle about is that her dad moved to a new city a while ago — several years ago, but, you know, well into the era when nobody pays for long distance anymore — and even though he had a perfectly good phone cell phone number, he jumped through all the hoops to get a new number with his new local area code, which strikes me as something that would work for Pluggers, maybe? I don’t really have a punchline here, I’m just pitching a Pluggers idea, which makes sense because I’m Gen X, like, as noted, most pluggers are.

Mary Worth, 4/28/22

Ian Cameron is also probably supposed to be Gen X, but he’s no plugger! He put on a suit and tie to go loom menacingly in the shadowy doorway of his ex’s (?) office (?) like he’s in some German expressionist film because that’s the kind of classy and sophisticated man he is. Are he and Helen going to kiss? I sure hope so! I sure hope he maintains that glowering facial expression throughout the entire process, too!

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Mary Worth, 4/26/22

Oh snap, shocking twist! Young Helen used to be young Ian’s … student? Coworker? It’s honestly not clear to me how old either of them is supposed to be now, or whatever the age that each of them is supposed to be is the same as the age the other one is supposed to be, or if they’re 10 or 20 years apart or what. But the point is that clearly she and Ian have some unfinished emotional business, as hinted at on Sunday. I can’t decide which possibility I like better: that the two of them had a torrid pre-Toby relationship, or if Helen was a student who had an unconsummated crush on Ian and is so upset with Toby now because she can’t stand to see another smitten young person being emotionally toyed with by yet another Professor Cameron.

Also, it’s worth (ha!) noting that Ian and Toby moved into Charterstone relatively recently, by which I mean 42 years ago but also they appeared to be roughly the same ages then that they are now. So I certainly hope that Helen moved across the country from wherever she lived before and got this community college gig specifically for Ian-stalking purposes.

Shoe, 4/26/22

Ha ha, yes, it’s funny because Roz is experiencing significant financial difficulties, but mostly I want to point out that her last name doesn’t appear on either the Shoe (comic) Wikipedia page or her character page on the official Shoe website. Either there’s some real deep lore held securely at MacNellyCo HQ that only the strip’s highly paid team of gag writers are allowed to access, or today’s gag writer just decided to call an audible and BAM! “Roz Specklehen” is canon now! Who says you can’t make your mark in this world?

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Pluggers, 4/24/22

When I lived in Oakland, California, there was a plumber’s truck that parked near my apartment building all the time with the business name “KING OF THEM ALL” emblazoned on the side of it. This was in 1999 or so, so it wasn’t a given that every business would be online, but they also had a URL proudly emblazoned on the side, “kingofthemall.com”, and I always thought that whoever was the King of the Mall must have been pretty pissed! Anyway, it’s now the year 2022, kingofthemall.com is an SEO spam site filled with uncanny valley prose written by a machine, nobody cares about URLs any more anyway because now to find out about a business’s hours or contact information you have to look on their Instagram stories for some reason, and Pluggers are here to inform you that if your small vehicle-based business has an even vaguely creative name, you have given up your plugger status no matter how blue-collar you are. Apologies to the King Of Them All, wherever you are.

Dick Tracy, 4/24/22

Gotta respect that Dick Tracy, whose antagonists all have based their entire identity on some weirdo shtick, is willing to engage in banter with said antagonists about said shtick. This is more important to the criminals of Neo-Chicago than their so-called “civil rights,” which is good because Dick Tracy definitely will be violating those.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/24/22

Oh dang, is our hero, the “Street Sweeper,” who apparently built his vigilante identity around his quotidian day job, going to become an super villain? If some guy pissed all over the floor and told me “Hey buddy, you missed a bit over there,” that would do it for me! I wouldn’t take offense at random passersby making fun of my identity, though. That’s just part of the risk of being a superhero, and you need to develop a thick skin against those sorts of criticisms. But the pee thing? Unacceptable.

Mary Worth, 4/24/22

Haha, yes, at last some real Ian drama, which is all I’ve ever craved from this Toby storyline! Were Ian and Helen enemies? Lovers? Enemies to lovers, one of the most popular tropes in the romance genre? Can’t wait to find out!