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B.C. and Marvin, 11/24/13

If Thanksgiving’s coming, it must be time for one of my least favorite comics tropes: terrifyingly self-aware animals begging not be eaten. Today’s B.C. is a particularly gruesome example of the genre, made all the more vivid by the poor victim-turkey explaining in great detail the real-life unsavory conditions under which many factory farmed animals are raised. For sheer narrative power, though, you can’t beat panels two and three of Marvin: first, we see a panicked turkey, unable to speak English but still obviously aware of his coming fate; then we see Marvin’s family feasting on his corpse.

Panels from Mark Trail, 11/24/13

The whole Ben-Franklin-wanted-the-turkey-to-be-our-national-bird thing is a myth, pretty much. Franklin never made a serious political proposal to this effect or anything; he just wrote a letter to his daughter, in which he said that the eagle in the proposed design for the Great Seal of the United States looked like a turkey, and then, in typical witty Frankly fashion, wrote a couple of paragraphs about how turkeys are better and more noble than eagles anyway. I do like that Mark doesn’t bother correcting Rusty but also doesn’t go out of his way to really affirm his incorrect beliefs either. “Yeah, I remember hearing that when I was young and stupid like you, Rusty. Now sit back and shut up, because I’m gonna drop some turkey facts on you for the rest of this strip (not pictured).”

Apartment 3-G, 11/24/13

I know I haven’t been keeping you up to date on what’s happened in Apartment 3-G this week, so, uh, here’s what happened in Apartment 3-G this week, pretty much! Thanks, Sunday summary Apartment 3-G! The only new information we get in this strip is that Dr. Bentley likes to tickle teenage girls under their chins, which, grossssss.

Funky Winkerbean, 11/24/13

“Let’s just say your father was a terrible, hateful person and that we’re all glad he’s dead! We’re protecting you from this knowledge, but the strip sure isn’t doing the same for its readers!”

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Herb and Jamaal, 11/23/13

Don’t you just wish you were a dog, sometimes? Don’t you wish that all your intellectual human knowledge about sanitation, and all that ingrained human near-instinctive revulsion at dirt and contamination would just vanish in an instant, so you’d be free? Free of shame, free of rules, just able to eat anything you want whenever you want, to roll around on your kitchen floor and come up with a faceful of ketchup dribblings, then lie there and lazily lick it off your chin? Nobody’s watching. Nobody’s here. You can do it. You can do it right now. You’re free. You’re free.

B.C., 11/23/13

Speaking of things people wouldn’t normally eat, people will eat things they wouldn’t normally eat, when they’re poor and desperate and hungry! Don’t look so smug there, turtle, you too are for the most part edible and no cultural taboo is that strong.

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Guys, just a quick final reminder that I and many other funny people are going to be funny Saturday night, in Baltimore. You should come!

Also funny: this week’s comment of the week:

“Better Half routinely poses a bedeviling question: Is any creature inside the narrative alive to the existential horrors which we, the audience, are subjected to on a daily basis? With one glance, today, comes the answer: The cat is aware.” –DaveyK

Almsot as funny: the runners up!

“Ed was just waiting for an opportunity to rail against his hated enemy, the ‘Transportation Department,’ the faceless (and possibly nonexistent) government bureaucracy he has arbitrarily blamed for all his problems — career, health, emotional, interpersonal, you name it. I’m sure he wasn’t actually listening to what his coworkers were saying, just waiting for a gap — any kind of lull in the conversation — so he could complain about the much-loathed Transportation Department and their ‘stunts.’ The dialogue here could have been about anything. ‘Hmm. Looks like it’s clouding up a bit out there.’ ‘GODDAMNED TRANSPORTATION DEPARTMENT! How many shoe boxes of my feces do I have the send them anonymously through the mail before they stop pulling stunts like this?'” –Joe Blevins

“Call me old-fashioned, but I like seeing a man derive joy from his chosen profession.” –Gladly, the cross-eyed bear

“Current Wizard of Id Comics Translated: [long farting noise]” –pugfuggly

“I usually think the signatures on comic strips are a little ostentatious. But if I drew some random thug just walking up and knocking Mary Worth over for absolutely no reason, just because fuck Mary Worth? Yeah, I’d take some pride in that.” –Dan

“Not only does today’s Mary Worth exploit multiple middle-class elderly fears for dramatic effect, it also reinforces their misunderstanding of just what a ‘pusher’ is.” –Q0906+6930

“Dad? DAD?! WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY, DAD?? No, don’t lay in the water and slowly drown! That is so like you, dad! This is why mom left, dad!” –Tophat

“‘Knutsen, Secretary of the Unlettered Savage’ is one of the less popular Norse sagas.” –nescio

“I wonder if Mary kept the receipt for that purse. I know that cheap old biddy isn’t carrying any cash. So at the very least, the mugger should be able to return the purse and get some Lord & Taylor store credit for his effort.” –Marc

“The Heathcliff team briefly considered making the effort to stagger the text to correspond with the rippling of the flag in the breeze, but decided that that would run counter to the spirt of the joke.” –Doctor Handsome

“So a little while back, Mark tries to show city slickers how great camping is and they burn the forest down after an attempted bear mauling. Then he goes fishing with Rusty the dog faced boy and they trip on ’shrooms. Now they go camping and look to be having a miserable time. Is this a new direction for the Mark Trail franchise sponsored by Comfort Inns?” –Maltmasher

“I tell ya’s, Rocco, Blackie … I had the purse in my hand and was about to give one last pull, but then she says ‘Leave me alone,’ and I don’t have to tell you mugs, we gotta respect that, it’s our code. But then she adds, ‘…you jerk.’ Well, I ain’t gonna take that kind of language from nobody. This was in Central Park, remember. Kids can hear. So I killed her.” –Dr. Mabuse

JP: “Because there is no logical difference between the plausibility of a multi-billion dollar National Security Program firing drone-mounted Hellfire missiles at suspected terrorists in active war zones from remote locations and a 13 year old cheerleader maneuvering a recon satellite by making a phone call to a ‘translator’ vacationing on a cruise ship. Sometimes, Sam, I swear you forget what strip you’re notionally a protagonist in.” –Master Softheart

“You must be part fish. My dad says he wants to hook you with his rod!” –sporknpork

FW: “Ann breathes a sigh of relief that the child (probably) won’t be named after Blessed Saint Dead Lisa. Jess’ mother is just relieved someone finally remembered she existed. Funky is awed to realize he feels something that isn’t soul-crushing despair, while giving the pre-arranged signal for ‘Yes, we have penis!’ Les is shocked that he wasn’t called first, while frantically trying to figure out what the male variation of ‘Lisa’ is. Cayla stands quietly by and allows herself to be ignored, as per the norm.” –TheDiva

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