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Ziggy, 10/28/12

So I was reading today’s Ziggy and enjoying the little movie I made in my head about what led up to this. (Making up cruel, elaborate backstories about Ziggy’s suffering is the main reason people read Ziggy, yes?) So, yes, Ziggy won a trip to “Paris” (presumably from his local travel agency where people are mean to him all the time), and didn’t read the fine print, and then put on a beret to get on the plane to University of Illinois Willard Airport (the closest with regular commercial service to Paris, Illinois, as everybody knows), then got into a cab at this airport, with the cabbie presumably being in on the joke somehow (maybe the cruel travel agent arranged for him to pick up Ziggy in advance?), and then the cabbie just dumped Ziggy and his luggage in the middle of the road at the Paris, Illinois city limits. That last part is my favorite. Like, I’m assuming that as part of this elaborate dumb prank Ziggy actually was given a hotel room, maybe at the Super 8, but no, instead of driving him there, the cabbie decided that the sign with “Illinois” on it was the perfect place to for Ziggy to finally have his horrible realization that once again something he thought might be good in his life is only another opportunity for humiliation. Enjoy your time in Paris, Illinois, Ziggy! Enjoy walking to the Super 8 from wherever it is you are! It’s at the intersection of Highway 150 and Highway 1, FYI.

Momma, 10/28/12

I find this strip fairly unbelievable. If we know one thing about Francis, it’s that his friends are drunken good-time ne’er-do-wells. Why would he be going to a Halloween party where everyone has the same unimaginative costume and people get upset at the mere mention of alcohol? I think he may have accidentally fallen in with a cult.

Family Circus, 10/28/12

Note to anyone studying how post-modern capitalism affects the imagination of children: Kids become unable to conceptualize play-worlds that do not featured branded, licensed characters sometime between whatever age PJ is supposed to be and whatever age Jeffy is supposed to be.

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B.C., 10/27/12

Ha ha, yes, because pirates were known for their … lack of respect for others’ personal space? Along with the pillaging and murder? Yaarrrr?

I know I should be impressed that these primitive cave-dwelling hominids have mastered writing at all, but I think a big banner that says “HALLOWEEN PARTY” hanging up at a Halloween party is a little on the nose.

Mary Worth, 10/27/12

NO NO NO SECOND PANEL MUCH TOO CLOSE BACK UP BACK UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BACK UP

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Hello all! Your comment of the week momentarily, but first I must remind you (perhaps a bit last-minute) that you have a chance to see my LIVE COMEDY STYLINGS, tomorrow (Saturday) night, if you live in or near Baltimore! My friend, Baltimore music legend Melissa “Ultra” Sharlat, is in a new band called Umami that will be debuting tomorrow night, and I’ll be opening for her, with comedy! Show starts at 9 pm upstairs at Zismos, on the Avenue in Hampden. More information can be found on the Facebook part of the Internet. Be there, or be (unhappily) elsewhere! (I promise I will start to give more than 24 hours’ notice on these things in the future.)

And now, your comment of the week!

“There are many fields in which the phrase ‘It was all Aristotle’s idea’ would apply. Condo selection doesn’t strike me as one of them.” –Pozzo

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Judge Parker’s writer heard ‘Chekhov’s gun’ as ‘Any gun seen in the first act must be discharged safely in a controlled cleaning/reload scene by the third act.'” –CanuckDownSouth

“Jim is showing signs of being a possessive abuser. He has known Dawn just a short time, but he is already trying to keep her away from her pier group.” –Alfred E. Neuman

“Avery is a negotiator and is only doing what negotiators do, starting with something big he knows Bubba will never agree to and eventually working his way to what he really wants: A couple doobies and one of those cool skull bongs.” –terrapin

Rex Morgan, M.D.: “‘He looks like a Miami lounge lizard schlub, but a free meal’s a free meal,’ said June, as she shoved her lone bare shoulder closer to his glistening combover.” –tb4000

“I prefer to think of the restaurant as a literal trap, as in, Mrs. Plugger is evaluating options on her menu for smoked bear, fried bear, and bear-ka-bobs. A kangaroo can’t take down a bear that size on her own, so this restaurant and its obliging staff is a nice, low-energy option for her.” –A New Day

“Silly Spider-Man, the diamond tiara is just a red herring to distract you from the real crime — Kraven’s opening act is billed as ‘Yes’ despite barely having any original members of the group in it.” –Chyron HR

“In the hope of luring a hunk, Peter Parker has set up his web like a true spider and baited it with a fabulous blazer.” –Greg

And also this comment from Voshkod is quite amazing but a bit too long to make the list!

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