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Slylock Fox, 6/11/12

“Hmm, yes, that is an interesting fact, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, about tadpoles not having legs. But did you know that adult amphibians, like Mr. Buford Bullfrog, breathe through their skin? Which means that they’d never smear ‘moisturizing’ gunk on themselves, because it would be a death sentence! So why would Mr. Bullfrog have stolen the moisturizer in the first place, hmm? It just doesn’t add up!” This is what Buford Bullfrog’s lawyer would say, if he had a lawyer, if defendants in Slylock-world were actually allowed decent representation. But no, they’re just dragged into court and forced to sit wide-eyed in terror as Slylock plays his little ratiocination games and everyone laughs. Then presumably comes the summary execution.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/11/12

Try as he might, Snuffy can’t break through the codes of sexual shame so prevalent in his community and tell his best friend that he was molested by a senator.

Mark Trail, 6/11/12

“Hmm, I just parted company with a bush pilot whom I openly accused of murder, though I’ve also made it clear that I’m the only one who knows about the evidence against him! Now a bush plane is flying low very close to me. I wonder what’s going on!” Thank goodness for Mark that our sporting killer only shoots people in the water.

Ziggy, 6/11/12

I have less of a problem with the mouse sitting on the pad than I do with the mouse sitting on the pad so … alluringly.

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Curtis, 6/10/12

Curtis, you’d better recognize your father’s sarcasm prowess, because for real, just getting up in the middle of a conversation during what appears to be the afternoon, getting into bed, and instantly falling asleep as a display of contempt is some serious next-level shit.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/10/12

Considering that Foster is Iris’s father, and dead, I was at first very disturbed by Mabel’s request that she “look after Foster” because he “needs you,” but probably it just means that Iris is going to be stuck with the bill for the funeral.

Beetle Bailey, 6/10/12

Lots of people complain that the soldiers of Camp Swampy never seem to be sent off into combat, but it’s now clear that at some point they conquered Paris and looted all the good art.

Judge Parker, 6/10/12

With each passing day Judge Parker becomes more and more of a masturbatory success fantasy for its main characters, assuming that forcing James Cameron out of retirement and gals who can really fill out a chain-store vest are what does it for you.

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Gil Thorp, 6/9/12

Sure, the Gil Thorp Very Special Teen Mom Softball Pitcher plot is cruising slowly along — looks like the moms of some of the other girls are going to pull them off the team, so they don’t learn about whorishness! — but panel one reminds me of what I feel has been missing from the strip lately: insane sports action. “Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod IT’S A BASEBALL AND IT’S COMING RIGHT FOR ME!” the infielder is thinking. “OK, what do I do in this situation? Can’t let it touch my glove! Quick, gotta block my glove with my hand so it doesn’t get in there!”

Ziggy, 6/9/12

Ziggy’s bird is a total narc, man.