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Comment of the Week

After all the other 'Ed doing things nobody visiting NYC would' entries, I have to acknowledge today's strip for verisimilitude: Only a tourist would go to Washington Square Park to buy pot.

—ValdVin
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Every dog in the world will have its day … TODAY

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Slylock Fox, 5/29/12

Every once in a while, Slylock Fox offers a little glimpse of the moment when our safe, normal, H. sapiens-ruled world suddenly turned into an awful madhouse of anthropomorphized animals with their own views on criminal law. Look at the facial expression on that fellow in both these Six Difference scenes! Is that a man who’s thinking “My goodness, this is an unexpected but ultimately pleasant blast of cool water on a hot day”? No, not at all! He’s terrified. That face says, “Wait, has that dog learned to operate a hose? Is he standing on his hind legs? Oh my God, he has thumbs. Thumbs. He’s laughing at me. Laughing! Oh God, this is it! I knew I should have sent a check when the Humane Society mailed me those address labels, I knew it! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY! I KNEW MY MOM WASN’T REALLY SENDING OUR DOG TO A ‘FARM UPSTATE,’ BUT I NEVER SAID ANYTHING! I SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING! OH, GOD, I’M SO SORRY!”

Luann, 5/29/12

You know, there was a time where I might have claimed that Knute and Crystal were my favorite Luann characters — not, of course, because of any virtues of their own, but because they were presented as a radical alternative to their fellow Pitts High students, and therefore were kind of likable by default, in a “the enemy of my enemy” sort of way. But now they’ve become just like all their fellow damned Luanniverse souls, in that their primary mode of interaction involves gross faux-titillating banter. At least today’s “Heh, I sure would like to get naked with you in the menswear section of this department store” episode is significantly more tolerable than “I wanna hear you pee.”

Judge Parker, 5/29/12

Speaking of faux-sexual antics, the seduction of Sam Driver is now in full swing, with Avery and Peaches gamely trying to prove that even fly fishing can be eroticized, if you try hard enough.

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Ziggy would eat anything at this point, he can’t feel his tongue

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Ziggy, 5/28/12

I guess Ziggy is supposed to be sitting on an old-fashioned wrought-iron chair, of the sort that you might find in an old-timey ice cream shops that will serve delicious, life-affirming sundaes. Still, I still prefer my initial take on this panel, which was that Ziggy has a tube attached to the back of his neck, pumping him full of who knows what. “…what a difference a sundae makes! Along with massive amounts of morphine! For a brief moment, I don’t yearn for the sweet release of death!”

Apartment 3-G, 5/28/12

When we last checked in with our fabulously wealthy lovelorn couple, Margo had advised Scott to stop pursuing Nina, letting her realize for herself that she really needed the man who browbeat her into having a baby and then smooched someone else. Naturally, Scott has interpreted this to mean that he should move into Nina’s father’s house, where Nina herself fled specifically to get away from him! Nina’s dad shows what being a good parent is all about by being totally into this idea. Since Nina can’t trust her father, her husband, or her erstwhile friend Margo whom her husband was canoodling with, it looks like she’ll have no choice but to flee into the arms of … Tommie? Ha ha, no, nobody could possibly be that desperate.

Blondie, 5/28/12

I’m pretty sure that Popeye is a “sailor” in the sense of being a crewman on a sea-going vessel, not in the sense of being an enlisted man in the U.S. Navy. And yet he dares to enjoy generosity meant for our armed forces, while real heroes like Sgt. Snorkel and Pvt. Bailey slink away in disgust. Why does Popeye hate America?

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Menace Zone One

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Dennis the Menace, 5/27/12

At first glance, this cartoon might seem to take place in a post apocalyptic lull. What has wiped out all the other humans in Dennis’s neck of the woods? Plague? Zombies? Do the living dead wander the streets of Dennis’s hometown, feasting on the flesh of the living, with Dennis staying alive due only to his own cunning and menace, and keeping Joey safe to have someone to talk to? But Dennis’s statement in the final panel paints an even more chilling scenario, and explains his incessant mishcief-making. Dennis exists in an empty world that only responds to his misbehavior, summoning up shadowy figures to scold him. It is only through menace that he can provoke a response from the universe. It is only through menace that he can be saved from terrible, endless loneliness.

Mary Worth, 5/27/12

“Dawn, don’t dwell on it … if you miss this bus, you’ll catch another! You see, each young man in your life is like a bus. They’re long and hard, and they come by on a fairly regular schedule, and whenever one arrives, you can ride it for a while, though you have to respect the fact that sometimes it reaches the end of its route before you’ve reached your destination, and sometimes other people want to ride the bus too. But they’re all pretty much alike, and you need to ride as many as you can if you want to get anywhere. Wait, where are you going? Is this metaphor making you uncomfortable? I’m just talking about riding young men as if they’re buses!”

Panel from Spider-Man, 5/27/12

Would you like to see Spider-Man almost slam crotch-first into a gargoyle? Here, here’s Spider-Man almost slamming crotch-first into a gargoyle.