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Panels from Dennis the Menace, 7/24/11

Alice Mitchell has suffered so much horror at Dennis’s hands that she’s responding the only way that makes sense — by numbing herself to all sensory input. Look, her vision is already fading! She can’t even make out her husband’s eyes anymore.

Panels from Apartment 3-G, 7/24/11

“I’m freeing my son from the clutches of these quacks, with their so-called ‘x-ray machines!’ Come on, we’ll take you home and get some leeches on that arm right away.”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/23/11

So, when I demanded a return to the non-old-people-liver-transplant storyline in Rex Morgan, I was really more hoping for more mother-daughter squabbling and less earnest talk about modern best practices for medical record-keeping. You can tell that Rex is eating this stuff up, though, closing his eyes and letting the jargon just wash right over him. “Oooh, you used an abbreviation! Yeah, that’s the stuff.”

Dennis the Menace, 7/23/11

I’m gonna be honest with you — if I saw a black polo shirt with a red collar in real life in an adult size, I would buy and wear the crap out of it. I don’t think I’d pair it up with red pants, but I think it’s an interesting and striking color combo. I was so taken with it that it took me a moment to realize that Dennis is going for a whole new kind of unsettling menacing: attempting to put the moves on his cousin.

Hi and Lois, 7/23/11

My goodness, look at how happy Lois looks! Dot and Ditto, don’t you dare touch her — she’s obviously in some magical dreamland, one where she doesn’t have any annoying children. Even the most terrible sunburn will be a fair price for just a few more minutes there.

Apartment 3-G, 7/23/11

“Me? How could I be a mother? I don’t even know where babies come from!”

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“I love today’s Spider-Man because it shows that Newspaper MJ and Newspaper Peter are perfect for each other. She just comes home, plops down on the couch, and just passes out mid-soliloquy. I hope there’s a gas leak or something.” –Roto13

MUST GATHER STRENGTH TO ACKNOWLEDGE HILARITY OF RUNNERS UP

“Being the happiest man in Santa Royale isn’t the loftiest of ambitions. Having Wilbur Weston as your main competition isn’t setting the bar very high.” –Pozzo

“My favorite part of today’s FW is the look on Cayla’s face. I’ve never seen a less willing participant in a conversation — she looks like she’s being held to that porch swing by some sort of smugness-based sorcery.” –Navigator

“The ‘F’ the prof gave Les was followed immediately by a ‘You’ and probably occurred about 35 seconds into their first encounter.” –Uncle Ritzy Fritz

“‘I’d let you borrow the used car I own’? Is that the same as ‘my car?’ What kind of language communication are they speaking with their mouths?” –Mustang

“Also, forgive me if I’m out of the loop on this one, but isn’t the point of dressing for a Comic con to go dressed as some comic book character? Unless we’re willing to posit that Knute and Crystal are both aware that they’re really comic characters. But if that were true, surely the realization that they were characters in Luann would have long since driven them to a mutual suicide pact?” –Swordsmith

“There’s only one way to top a wacky diuretic joke like this. So now, in addition to the extreme heat, Americans need to be wary of Plugger enema jokes by the end of the week.” –gkl

“There’s something to be said for being the best at what you do, even if what you do is, like, completely terrible. Only Funky Winkerbean could render the protagonist’s decision not to behave like a vindictive, immature shitbag somehow depressing.” –Violet

“I love the way Spider uses the phrase ‘verbally assaulted.’ I think Spider’s a narc, man.” –bbofun

“It’s a metaphor, kid. Freedom is illusory.” –Dood

Mary Worth: “No, Jeff! Don’t start listing the reasons! And for God’s sake, don’t pull out the Powerpoint!” –Frank Lee Meidere

“Why not a paper tacked up on the wall with just the word ‘SPORTS!’ That would convey this is a manly little fellow interested in Sports!, and it would cover a wide range of activities, from ice dancing to MMA cage fights. SPORTS!” –anonymous

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