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Hello everyone! Many readers have sent me images and other exciting ITEMS that I haven’t had time to go through this week — I promise to feature them in a future metapost. Apologies if you sent me something and I haven’t responded to you yet! Until then, though, I offer only this comment of the week:

“I’m tempted to make a snarky comment about the desperation of dying print media that they’d print something by Trail, but it really is an article the public needs to know. ‘I trespassed onto private property, harassed an armed senator, and punched the future governor — By Mark Trail.'” –Speck

And the runners up! Also funny!

“Today’s Mark Trail takes place in an alternate universe where a small girl and a cute baby deer that you totally didn’t shoot doesn’t constitute the photo op of a lifetime for two politicians.” –JB

“Pet shooting aside, Frank is going to have a hard time selling himself as the ‘family values’ candidate given his total lack of interest in learning or using his step-daughter’s name.” –Thomas B.

“The local obit section, aka ‘Facebook for pluggers.’” –Jake Morgendorffer

“I don’t know why anyone would think Lisa’s Story didn’t have a happy ending. She got away from Les, didn’t she?” –Poteet

“Billy, you’ve only written three large words and some scribbles. Grandmothers around the world are probably posting this on their refrigerators, though. ‘Haha, my grandson is a moron too!'” –Shawn S.

“The bad guy has kicked him twice now, but Lucky hasn’t budged an inch. That little deer’s a fucking badass.” –Doctor Handsome

“He’s right, he may not get to do that much any more, if there is a three-strikes law in his state.” –tbiggs

“MJ: ‘Now I remember! The Moleman once fought the Fantastic Four!’ Peter: ‘What a bunch of chumps! It’s much easier just to let him walk away.'” –Francisco Arrowroot

“I’d be pissed if I was Cody Exner — ripped away from my dad, Cars frontman Ric Ocasek. Paulina smokes to stay thin!” –Sed

“I like to imagine Aunt Iris as having a high-pitched-serial-killer voice when she says ‘Hello, dearie!’ Hello, dearie, would you like to try my pecan pie? My secret ingredient is YOUR BRAINS.” –SamECircle

“Perhaps Bil is holding sweaters while he hides in the bushes because he plans to tackle the trick-or-treaters to the ground and make them put on sweaters, since this is what passes for fun in the Keane Household; they aren’t allowed to play with anything modern so instead they play ‘Sweater Tackle’. I dunno, that seems at least as logical as anything else I can come up with to explain this weirdo’s actions.” –Alison

“I know the perspective in Gil Thorp is generally insane, but does anyone really hang their diploma a millimeter below their drop ceiling?” –Patrick

“I’m betting Tommie walks into rooms saying ‘Where is everyone?’ a lot.” –Paddy

“In the perpetual ’50s of the Family Circus universe, the only people with full Van Dyck beards are Freudian psychoanalysts who came to America in the ’30s to escape the war. This one will evidently be kept very busy.” –Ktrout

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Archie, 10/25/10

The lame ostensible joke in today’s Archie is hardly worthy of mention, though I do like the all-purpose “ARCHIE DID IT” frame-up note Coach Whoever is holding in panel one. But I’m intrigued by the scene in panel two, in which we see that the Riverdale team mascot is so committed to his mascotting duties that he stays in his sweaty, claustrophobic fursuit even when there’s no game on and he’s trying to woo the ladies. Perhaps he’s been told that his eyes are his best feature, and he believes that their sexiness will be enhanced if his face is obscured by a fake dog-neck and only his eyes are visible, staring eerily out of an otherwise black slit. He is mistaken.

I suspect that he in fact is the one who framed Archie, since the strip protagonist’s well-known if incomprehensible sex appeal was probably ruining the chances of all the other male-types in the room. This strip also makes this episode from last year even less comprehensible, since the squirrel-man in the background there doesn’t even have the excuse of “Oh, I’m the team mascot” to exist. Perhaps at some point the school board decided that the “Dogs Of Indeterminate Breed” made a more menacing team avatar than the “Insanely Grinning Tree-Rodents.”

Apartment 3-G, 10/25/10

Clearly Tommie’s slightly different haircut is not enough to radically alter her personality, because Aunt Iris is here to loosen her up! This will be fun until we find out that Iris is actually in New York because her home’s been foreclosed and she’s one step ahead of her creditors.

Mark Trail, 10/25/10

While there is literally no way within the laws of physics as we know them to defend against Mark Trail’s fists, it’s actually quite easy to win a battle of wits against him, as he’s a semi-autistic with little understanding of how and why humans behave in the way they do. “What’s that, man who I punched in the face and publicly humiliated just days ago? You want to help me with something? That’s great! How helpful of you! Yes, I will meet you in the ambush-location of your choosing!”

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Apartment 3-G, 10/24/10

Ha ha, how great is Margo’s striken facial expression in the final panel, as everyone else enjoys the pie-based good times? “Wait, ‘jam today?’ But we’re eating pie! What’s all this jam talk? Who’s jamming what, and where? WHY AREN’T I THE ONE DOING THE JAMMING?” Don’t worry, Margo, it’s just reference to some Lewis Carroll bit/mnemonic for remembering proper temporal meaning of various Latin adverbs, which is obviously a thing that normal people talk about all the time.

Family Circus, 10/24/10

Weird public Oedipal fantasy play? An unseemly interest in the teenage girl next door? Hiding in the bushes, watching the children? It’s apparent you’re a pervert, more like.