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Dennis the Menace, 8/15/24

Spent a long time … no, that’s a lie. I spent like 30 seconds trying to figure if there was a “joke” here per se. Like, is it about … ice cream or something? Maybe? Eventually decided that there wasn’t. Mr. Wilson is just feeling better! Maybe he finally got on the right cocktail of psychopharmaceuticals, or maybe he just realized he has it pretty good and decided to rearrange his outlook on life. Either way, good for him!

Hi and Lois, 8/15/24

There’s no joke here either, but that’s par for the course in this strip now, and frankly I’m not complaining, because this is great. The little league team isn’t doing well, and Hi, who probably already feels like it’s kind of a thankless job, just got publicly insulted by one of the kids, while his son looks on in horror. It’s perfect! Keep it up, Hi and Lois!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/15/24

I’ve ruffled a few feathers by speaking some tough truths about comic characters — namely, the truth that the Lockhorns are Millennials. So here’s some more shocking real talk: probably most of you, based on their old-timey attire plus the fact that they look like wizened, ancient gnome-creatures, assume that Snuffy and Loweezy Smif are old people. But that doesn’t add up! As you can see here, they don’t see themselves that way; moreover, they have an infant child, and live in the sort of community where younger parenthood is the norm! We must therefore assume that they are at most 27 years old, and you know what that means: THE SMIFS ARE ZOOMERS

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Dennis the Menace, 8/14/24

Despite the fact that she’s a long-running fixture in a 73-year-old comic strip, I don’t think Margaret has a particularly consistent set of characterizations — she’s usually whatever she needs to be in the “vaguely prissy” range to annoy Dennis — but today’s panel honestly feels tonally off to me. I don’t buy that she would be expressing overt jealousy of Taylor Swift, and I don’t buy that she would just call her “Swift.” (I also don’t buy that as a drawing of Taylor Swift, but that’s neither here nor there.) Dennis in his interactions with Margaret similarly seems to take on whatever qualities are necessary to antagonize her, but I am intrigued by the implication that he’s set off Margaret’s rant because he’s such a dedicated Swiftie.

Gil Thorp, 8/14/24

Traditionally we have been treated to Gil Thorp’s thrice-annual ritual recitation of the names, so we can all pretend to know who the players are as their season develops. But in this new fast-paced era, the kids just get little floating labels instead. I’m particularly intrigued by “Torch,” who I assume is an X-Men-style mutant who has the power to control fire, or possibly just a notorious arsonist. Either way, seems like an exciting football season is ahead of us!

Alice, 8/14/24

A lot of middling comics could do a strip where two people talk about how modern appliances today have too many features and none of them work right, hur hur hur. But to have two people talking about how modern appliances today have too many features and none of them work right, while said appliance sits between the two people and makes direct and coquettish eye contact with the audience, with its weird creepy face? That’s the deranged Alice difference that keeps me coming back.

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Six Chix, 8/13/24

“Hey,” you’re probably wondering, “What’s going on with the Tuesday Chik in Six Chix, who last we saw was in a romantic and sexual relationship with a giant sandwich?” Well, bad news: the sandwich has gone back to its “own kind” and is now fucking avocado toast. A sad tale of modern relationships! Should food only date other kinds of food? Well, humans are a kind of food, in certain circumstances, if you think about it. That may sound like stoned dorm room talk, but it’s a real thing I would say, if the sandwich I was in love with was going to leave me and I was desperate to win it back any way I could.

Beetle Bailey, 8/13/24

There’s something really striking about Sarge’s facial expression here, half-earnest, half-vacant. Everything just kind of happens to him, and he’s a little overwhelmed by it. He’s being sent to Hawaii, for work? He has a dog who wears clothes? Neat! But also, what’s next? If he sits very still, maybe it won’t be bad.

Marvin, 8/13/24

Look, I say this as a man who, as 20 years of evidence on this blog amply demonstrates, allows the comic strip Marvin to live rent-free in his head: the comic strip Marvin is, on the scale of entertainment properties, nothing, insignificant, an insect. It definitely is not anything that The Walt Disney Company, in its majesty, would deign to notice, so you could have just gone ahead and said “Disneyland” instead of “Dippyland” here, which certainly would have made this joke work a lot better.