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Hey, it’s the Comics Curmudgeon Fall Fundraiser — help keep this site strong and independent!













Click the banner above to contribute any amount — and receive your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet with our thanks! Full details here.

9/23 Fundraiser update: Bracelets are now on the way for Day 2 contributions — FIRST CLASS, just like our generous readers! Thank you!

A plea: If you receive your bracelet today or tomorrow, would you please email a photo of it on your wrist to uncle.lumpy@comcast.net? If I get enough for a collage, I’ll post it Friday — as, I dunno, the “Wrists of Just Us” or something. Thanks!



Crock, 9/23/09

OK, I know this is two Crocks in a week and honestly I’m really sorry but Gaaah! this is the grimmest panel I’ve ever seen, and I read Cathy. The punchline here seems to be “Ha ha you are a slave”, or at best “Ha ha you are a slave so work harder.” It doesn’t look like the soldier is actually confused about his servitude, and if he is, it’s due no doubt to hallucinations from the sunstroke and heat exhaustion that will soon kill him.

Crock’s use of the doomed soldier’s name before his complete objectification and annihilation just twists the knife.

Archie, 9/23/09

I like Archie: it’s kinda sweet and old-timey. Plus, there’s visual madness in the reaction shots from the photograph and the giant Kool-Aid not-quite-emoticon on the CRT. The artists also deliver gratuitous Cammie cheesecake from time to time, and you can almost always tell they’re still trying. But not today, alas — c’mon, if the school paper were already in fact digital, then students couldn’t read it on their phones and you’d have a joke. As it is, you have, well, a perfectly sensible but unfunny editorial. And Doonesbury‘s pretty much got that niche locked up.

Curtis, 9/23/09

Technically speaking, there is a joke in today’s Curtis (“bigger dummy than the dummy”), but let’s watch poor Curtis labor mightily to set it up. Start with panel 1’s Herb and Jamaally intro, already reeking of flop sweat. Then: can’t say “toilet” in a family strip? OK, “down the plumbing!” Need a reference to sexual indiscretion, but it has to be G-rated? OK, how about trying to pick up a mannequin. Obligatory tech reference? YouTube! (What, Twitter’s busy?) Finally, exhausted, Curtis wrestles this steaming gelatinous mass to the finish, and Barry delivers the featherweight punchline. Same time tomorrow, Sisyphus.

Gil Thorp, 9/23/09

OK, this is Duncan Daley, capable but non-flashy Milford tackle (and counterpoint to Jamarr Gaddis, fast but tiny self-promoting wide receiver used to decoy defenders from stolid running back Robb Larue). Formerly a party animal with ready access to his lookalike brother’s ID, Duncan has matured into a focused, R.C.-sipping young adult, no doubt because of what his brother said.

So you don’t have to, faithful reader — so you don’t have to!

Operation H-Town update: Mary Worth, 9/23/09

Well, Officer Colleague has certainly learned a valuable lesson today, hasn’t he? Kids, don’t go calling people “under arrest” until they can no longer shoot at you.

OK OK OK! Detective Scott Hewlett lives to live another day! Check out his prospects at the fabulous Scott’s Drug Bust Pool spreadsheet, created by faithful reader 8th Man Fan. Want a piece of the action? Use the awesome Scott’s Drug Bust Pool Form. Contribute your winnings to the Comics Curmudgeon Fall Fundraiser! And thank you, faithful reader 8th Man Fan!


Margo Moments — a Fall Fundraiser special, part 3

Apartment 3-G (panels) — 12/21/2006, 1/11, 2/27, 4/17, 4/19, 4/26, 7/2, 7/3, 8/3/2007


What would Margo do? The streets of New York are littered with the bones of those who thought they knew! Contribute to The Comics Curmudgeon today, and avoid their fate! When you do, we’ll rush your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet to you, so you can project the power of Margo — from your wrist, to your hand, to their throats!

— Uncle Lumpy

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It’s the Comics Curmudgeon Fall Fundraiser!

9/22 Update: If your contribution arrived before 9:00 (e) yesterday, your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet is in the mail! Thank you!













Click the banner above to contribute any amount — and receive your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet with our thanks! Full details here.


Mary Worth, 9/22/09

Shots ring out in the seedy Santa Royale warehouse district as Operation H-Town goes down! Detective Scott Hewlett seems determined to shoot his own team leader there in panel 1 — maybe because the guy’s hiding in a box, or maybe for his shaky grasp of the concept of “arrest.” But the ’70’s thugs in panel 2 aren’t waiting for Scott’s move: they may not be “reasonable men and women”, but they know how to act on “an expectation that they are free to leave.”

Operation H-Town Update: Faithful reader 8th Man Fan has generously created Scott’s Drug Bust Pool spreadsheet, where you can track such issues as:

  • What day will Scott arrive at the hospital?
  • What will his condition be?
  • When will Adrian express her shame and self-loathing?*
  • What is the final outcome?

* for the events of this story line, not the Ted Confey story — no cheating, you rascal!

Play along using the awesome Scott’s Drug Bust Pool Form. Thank you, faithful reader 8th Man Fan!

Crankshaft, 9/22/09

Ed Crankshaft: not just old and nasty — old, nasty, and weak. Though in fairness, that may be stiffer wood than he’s seen in a while.

Zippy the Pinhead, 9/22/09

Zippy discovers Twitter!

Ziggy, 9/22/09

Ziggy discovers blogs!


Margo Moments — a Fall Fundraiser special, part 2

Apartment 3-G (panels) — 3/22, 3/26, 4/8, 4/16, 6/11, 6/28, 7/27, 9/18, 9/23/2006


What would Margo do? Contribute to The Comics Curmudgeon? Well, probably not — but you can! And we’ll rush your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet to you right away, so you can unlock the power of Margo in your life!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Click the banner above to contribute any amount — and receive your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet with our thanks! Full details here.

OK OK OK! Twice a year while subbing for Josh, I try to raise a little extra cash to say “Thanks!” for the fine entertainment, and to help with the operation of the site. Two things are new this time around. First, your generous contributions will help pay for the site’s extensive design upgrade, now underway. Second — and for the first time ever — every contributor, of any amount, will receive a gift in grateful gratitude for your generosity: this fashionable and unique bracelet, inscribed “What would Margo do?” Behold:

Lovingly crafted by the willowy jeweler-maidens of exotic Nan An Town, GaoYao City, each bracelet is medical-grade silicone, recessed and filled with the inscription “What Would Margo Do?”, and lightly embossed with “www.joshreads.com” on the inside. And yes, it glows in the dark.

What will you do, inspired by the message and spirit of Margo? The possibilities are endless, terrifying, and of course often illegal:

  • Wear it ’round the house, and watch your roommates scramble to do your bidding!
  • Wrap it ’round your Fist of Justice, to emboss hairy evildoers with a message they’ll never forget!
  • Wear it to bed, to baffle and intimidate your partner!
  • Touch it whenever you feel lonely or insecure — then rip a hole in the universe, and make it your bitch!

Just click the banner at the top of the page, then follow the instructions to contribute by credit card or PayPal. Write me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net if you prefer to contribute by check or money order. Sorry, just one bracelet per contributor: full details here, along with an index to the 40 or so banners in rotation at the top of the page.

Finally, in honor of the Margo-themed fundraiser, this week features “Margo Moments” — Josh’s personal stash of Margocentric panels (Sanitized® — for your protection!), stretching back to the dim, misty origins of The Comics Curmudgeon. Think of it as Apartment 3-G without all the boring Tommie and LuAnn bits! Here goes:

Margo Moments – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 1


Apartment 3-G (panels) — 12/29/2004, 2/21, 6/21, 8/21, 11/13, 12/17/2005, 01/17, 2/20, 3/4/2006

Ahhh, that’s our gal.

— Uncle Lumpy

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