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Gil Thorp, 10/18/08

You know, I think new Gil Thorp artist Rod Whigham is really starting to find his footing in this strip, creating evocative scenes for our Milford heroes. Yesterday, he served up a sort of film noir pastiche, with tough, wise-cracking heroes and the dames that break their hearts; today we go further back, to the Middle Ages, as miserable peasants pull up their rough-hewn hoods for protection from the pelting rain as they trudge back to their leaky, plague-infested hovels. You can tell how hard it’s raining in panel three: it appears that Gil’s flattop has been so thoroughly soaked that it’s lost structural integrity.

Beetle Bailey, 10/18/08

I was about to say that panel one was kind of edgy for a newspaper comic, as it features two men who are clearly drunk — and not happy, wacky drunk, but bleary-eyed, vaguely depressed and irritated, and surrounded by empties drunk. But then I saw panel two and realized that booze was least of this comic’s problems.

Marmaduke, 10/18/08

Marmaduke is about to kill and eat yet another poor soul who’s come to the front door of his house, but at least in this case you could sort of argue that it’s in self-defense.

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Beetle Bailey, 10/17/08

As part of my thrice-annual attempt to be nice about Beetle Bailey, I’ll say this: I find it pretty funny that Otto is so lazy that he’s drinking out of his water bowl through a straw, so he doesn’t have to leave the cozy confines of his neatly labelled box. I’d probably find it even funnier if I weren’t distracted by the fact that said straw appears to have materialized out of thin air between the first and second panels.

Gil Thorp, 10/17/08

Speaking of giving credit where it’s due, I find the line “Wherever girls go after they dump a guy” utterly charming. It has certain film-noiry world-weariness about it, not that that justifies the stupid fedora, Matt.

Momma, 10/17/08

You know, I bitch about the romantic drama in Luann, but it does have this going for it: it never consists of a series of baffling and repulsive non sequiturs, like the romantic drama in certain strips I could mention.

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Luann, 10/16/08

Hi there, perverts with delicate sensitivities! Did you enjoy last week’s exciting “Brad sees Toni in a sports bra and becomes aroused” storyline? Well, then you’ll love this week’s provocative “Gunther delicately drapes his measuring tape over Luann’s ‘bust,’ at her explicit request, and becomes aroused, but apparently feels bad about it” storyline! You can blame the stultifying Victorian sensibilities that still reign in the anachronistic print media for the bizarre chasteness of these scenes, but you can thank those same sensibilities for sparing you the sight of Brad and/or Gunther furiously masturbating in the bathroom just after those scenes ended.

Mark Trail, 10/16/08

Wow, this Mark Trail storyline is trying to mash all of the strip’s usual tropes into one big steaming pile of narrative mess. We’ve already got lovable forest-dwelling hermits, a rapacious developer with a mustache who hates nature, and a sexy lady who wants into Mark’s khaki pants. Now we also have hillbillies who are cruel to animals! Inevitably, Sneaky will be drawn into this terrible scene, with the intention of putting us on the edge of our seats with worry over the beloved raccoon. There are two related problems with this plan. This first is that Sneaky is not lovable at all, but rather a soulless, dead-eyed monster who cannot be regarded with anything other than dread. Sneaky, I thrilled to the adventures of Molly the Bear; I danced on stage with Molly the Bear; Molly the Bear was a friend of mine. Sneaky, you’re no Molly the Bear.

The second reason why I’m not anxious for the fate of our raccoon hero in a Sneaky vs. dog smackdown is that Sneaky, being a sociopathic killer, will emerge victorious in a matter of bloody, horrifying seconds. I foresee a lot of overall-clad bumpkins standing around a fetid shack uncomfortably while Sneaky rears up triumphantly over the corpse of his victim, chittering out the raccoon equivalent of “COME ON! YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS? HUH? DO YA?”

Gasoline Alley, 10/16/08

Words that have never, ever been followed by engaging narrative of any kind: “Let’s check it out on the Internet!”