Comment of the Week

Wizard of Id has succintly portrayed the difference between Early and Late Medieval modes of warfare: while his Dark Age companions are boldly dying for their feudal lord, the canny Sir Rodney treats war as a profession. He is akin to the condottiere who would dominate later Italian warfare. That sly look and crooked smile is that of a man who sees human corpses as nothing more than money in his purse, arguably far more barbaric than his predecessors. But trebuchets suck for hitting single guys so we're probably about to see Sir Smarty Pants' insides in spite of his historically progressive role.

m.w.

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Gil Thorp, 8/8/08

If there was a terrifying malformed human feature that defined the Frank McLaughlin era of Gil Thorp, it was the hair. The Rod Whigham era has just begun, but it’s pretty clear that in the new regime, it’s the hands that are most likely to make you feel queasy and uncomfortable. Whether we’re talking about malformed flippers or severed forearms attached to nothing particular, from the elbow down everything in the modern-day Gil Thorp is a little dodgy. Today’s panel three seems to be a direct response to criticism on this point. “You want well-drawn hands?” it practically shouts. “Well, here they are, by God, straight out of an anatomy textbook, disproportionally huge, and held up at an angle that nobody would ever actually use when clapping. Are you happy? Are you happy now?

Hagar the Horrible, 8/8/08

That sly look on Helga’s face in panel two makes me think that “rock-a-bye, baby, in the tree top” is some incredibly filthy Viking sex act, possibly involving an actual tree and the sacrifice of a dozen virgins to Freya.

Mary Worth, 8/8/08

Hey, everybody! You can follow along with Toby’s amazing phishing journey at the newly updated Enormoushop.com! Be sure to give it a few moments so as to get the full-on identity-stealing experience. (UPDATE: And by “give it a few moments” I mean “wait about 10 seconds for the redirect, then wait again for another redirect, all three screens are funny, you won’t regret it.”)

Shoe, 8/8/08

Sexual affairs? I’m much more concerned about the emotional affairs. What with all the suppressed longing and daydreaming, the ostensibly “platonic” outings crackling with sexual tension, the long, tortured e-mails about why anything more is impossible — why, it doesn’t leave any time for the important work of the elected official, like meeting with lobbyists and raising money for re-election.

I’ve long been on the record as opposing Shoe’s depiction of birds with human-lady-style breasts, since actual birds do not have such things and they look creepy and weird. Well, do you know what else birds don’t have? Teeth. You hear me, panel three? Teeth.

Marmaduke, 8/8/08

With the back yard now essentially one vast mass grave, Marmaduke has begun storing the decomposing bodies of his victims in the house.

Ziggy, 8/8/08

Ha ha! Those angry little birds are going to feast on Ziggy’s flesh!

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Panel from One Big Happy, 8/7/08

Now, here’s a little detail that your eyes might gloss over when you’re reading the comics at 2 a.m. like I was this morning. Funeral services for me and, I’m guessing, faithful reader willethompson will take place at Our Lady Of Perpetual Meddling this Sunday at 1 p.m. In lieu of flowers, we ask that donations be given to Eric Mills, who needs to spring his brother from a Chinese jail and buy his intended a freakishly huge diamond.

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Pluggers, 8/7/08

Far be it for me as an elitist non-plugger to point out when Pluggers loses the thread, but, well, it appears that someone has to. Hey, Pluggers! The primary reaction of a plugger upon encountering modern-day movie theater concession stands should be goggle-eyed horror at the high prices. Suggested joke: “A plugger remembers when the most expensive thing at the movies was the ticket to the movies.”

On the other hand, having the plugger devour the entire bucket of popcorn while still standing at the concession counter is pretty much spot on.

Popeye, 8/7/08

Generally speaking, I only bring Popeye to your attention when it crosses the border into completely deranged, like when Olive Oyl cheerfully threatens suicide or the strip makes genocide jokes. The current storyline, in which Sweet Pea is bonked on the head and gains puppet-master-like power over the of others, is somewhat derivative of that terrifying Twilight Zone episode with the little kid who can kill with his mind; still, it clearly is going to go down the road of pleasing perversity, as you can see here.

Mary Worth, 8/7/08

Phishing, everybody! Phishing! That’s what the build-up is all about. Mary Worth is going to advise its perhaps not-so-tech-savvy audience (median age: 68) about the dangers that lurk in fake spam emails from online merchants; so as not to anger the oldsters, it’s Charterstone’s resident thirtysomething trophy wife who will be defrauded and humiliated for the edification of others.