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One Big Happy, 10/14/06

See, this is why I read One Big Happy day after day, despite the fact that to my mind the actual punchlines range from the only mildly amusing to (as here) the excruciatingly lame: I think some of the strip’s incidentals are really funny. For instance, in this installment, I love the idea that the Library Lady (who, incidentally, always looks to me to be high as a kite, as she would clearly need to be to deal with these children) has picked a story to read that involves (a) a platypus and (b) the sentence “Maybe we’ll find it in the archives!” (which, if you think about it, just reinforces my “high as a kite” theory).

Marmaduke, 10/14/06

And see, this is why I read Marmaduke day after day: because sometimes it’s totally demented. My theory: Marm has lured these God Squaders to his house in order to eat them.

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Hi kids! After a more than two years of operation, I am trying to come up with what every good site should have: an frequently asked questions (FAQ) file. Unfortunately, I’m having a bit of a hard time coming up with the questions. Perhaps that’s as it should be: the questions should be coming from you, after all. So! Please attach to this post any questions you might have had when you were but a newbie at this site (or might still have, for that matter). These can be questions about the site (“Didn’t you used to have a different name?”) and how it works (“How do I post in the forums?”), about me (“Why do you get to take so many vacations?”), about particular comics (“How can it be called B.C. is they talk about Jesus all the time?”) or plotlines (“Say, doesn’t Aldo look like Captain Kangaroo?”). I’ll be back with new comics Sunday night, so you’ll have lots of time to percolate.

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For Better Or For Worse, 10/13/06

As the Liz-Anthony storyline grinds on to its terrifying and seemingly inevitable conclusion, all of North America can only look on in horror.

I was physically unable to bring myself to comment on yesterday’s foobery, in which Liz, who up until fairly recently had an exciting and adventurous life, declared herself “unaccomplished” compared to Anthony because he had a child and owned property. While clearly parenthood and ownership of a bland suburban box is the height of human achievement in Foobonia, the sad truth is that the house was no doubt purchased largely with the money from Thérèse’s unspecified-but-implied-to-be-high-powered job, and as for the baby, well, if you’re married, for most people it actually takes more planning and effort to not have a baby than it does to have one. I suppose it’s an “accomplishment” that Anthony convinced his wife to have sex with him despite their obvious mutual dislike. Of course, now Thérèse has left both home and baby behind because she’s a totally unrealistic straw-woman character designed to make us feel sorry for Anthony totally evil, nonmaternal, career-focused bitch, leaving Liz an opportunity to get closer to her dream guy, who likes to hang out in his basement office with his caged toddler.

All this aside, though, this morning I had a brainstorm about why the Liz-Anthony pairing is so perfect. See, motherhood is a necessary component to a woman’s life, unless she decides she’d rather not be a parent is a totally evil, nonmaternal, career-focused bitch like Thérèse. If Liz weds Anthony, she’ll get to experience the soul-completing joy of being a mommy without having to have icky sex.

Apartment 3-G, 10/13/06

OK, so this wacky Lu Ann adventure, with the lights turning on and off and the odd instant falling asleep and the sepia-toned dream sequences … it’s really … weird, right? It’s not just me? It’s OK that I’m creeped out by the command in the last panel here? Who’s going to keep her safe, dammit? Who?

Six Chix, 10/13/06

You’re one to talk about addictive behavior, lady. You’re the one who appears to be sitting at a bar in the middle of your house.

Family Circus, 10/13/06

Actually, Jeffy, that’s how we know that Dolly’s sick. Very, very sick.