Post Content

For Better Or For Worse, 9/16/06

You know, usually, when a woman pours her heart out to her big brother about her relationship worries, the appropriate response is to say something vague but reassuring, not, “Well, you know what they say: infidelity in this situation is essentially inevitable!” The final panel of the typical FBOFW includes some sort of play on words, but since Michael gets that out of the way with his devastating commentary, instead, our parting shot here is Lizardbreath looking at him with barely contained rage as he wanders smugly off. Michael Patterson: worst comics brother since Momma’s Francis.

Incidentally, what the hell is Liz wearing? Is she making up for her frumpy work clothes by changing into some kind of leopard-print leotard as soon as she gets home? And I like the way Deanna and Robin sort of aimlessly wander through the strip, just as a reminder that “hey, we still exist! And little Robin hasn’t succumbed to his mysterious illness! Yet! Stay tuned!”

For more excellent foobish hate, check out faithful reader yellojkt’s latest blog post, “The End Of The Foobiverse.

Spider-Man, 9/16/06

Hey, what the hell is this? Some kind of … evil individual … intent of committing crimes … a villain, one might say … except he has powers and abilities beyond those of ordinary humans … super powers, one might say … and he’s intent on fighting Spider-Man? This sort of storyline has no place in this feature! Isn’t there some drama to be wrung from, say, the mutual funds in the Parkers’ 401k plan not performing as well as they’d like?

I like the fact that one of Dr. Octopus’ wayward tentacles is holding what appears to be a cool, refreshing beverage of some kind. Hey, his powers aren’t used for evil all the time, OK?

Apartment 3-G, 9/16/06

You had your chance and you blew it, Ted. Your third-panel leer is both too late and counterproductive.

Funky Winkerbean, 9/16/06

You know, I’ve been following this strip again for more than a year, and I still haven’t caught up with all of its characters. I’m reasonably sure that this is the first time I’ve met Linda, the wife of the high school football coach. I was going to make some crack about the fact that her weird facial expression in the second panel makes her look like she’s suffered some sort of crippling stroke, but then I realized that this is Funky Winkerbean, and she probably has.

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/15/06

As is too often the case with this feature, the current Rex Morgan, M.D. storyline started strong and then meandered around a bit before fizzling out, taking way, way too long to wrap up. To sum up for those of you who rely on me for your Rex Morgan plot news: Rex’s boytoy Troy turned out to be a con-man named “Adam” who skipped town rather than go back to prison; Troy/Adam’s beard wife was left devastated but determined to carry on with the children’s clinic; the blackmailer was gunned down by a SWAT team, though we were assured in a half-hearted way that she’ll survive; and little Sarah’s “mystery illness” turned out to be a bruise she got when she was accidentally knocked over by the dog, but she didn’t want to rat the poor pooch out because she was afraid that she (the dog, not Sarah) would get sent back to the pound. And now we’re ready for more vaguely medically-themed adventures next week. Still, the last couple frames here are a poignant little moment between a husband and wife who have a complicated relationship and a big secret that they can’t talk about, even with each other. Presumably tomorrow’s strip is just going to feature Rex sitting alone at his desk, sobbing “Troy!” over and over.

Shoe, 9/15/06

Yeah, see, this is the sort of thing that would be funnier if all the characters in the strip weren’t, you now, birds. I mean, couldn’t the dialogue in the second panel just as easily have been, “Can you catch bird flu from any of the other characters in this strip, seeing as they’re birds and all?” Do you think that the artists have been drawing them all as birds for so long that they’ve forgotten?

Given the occasional conservative politics that bubble up in this strip, the punchline perhaps should have been, “Can you catch treason from the Dixie Chicks?” It would have been just as funny.

Post Content

Blondie, 9/14/06

Since I try to say something nice on this blog at least once a month, I will say that today’s Blondie actually made me laugh. I too would watch debates on the Sandwich Channel with great interest. Plus, if this exchange actually occurred, it would be the first time in the history of punditry that the construction “shove [something] down my throat” was used correctly. Note to TV talking heads and angry talk radio callers everywhere: something being paid for with tax dollars or featured prominently on television is not being “shoved down your throat.” Please try to keep this rhetorical device in reserve for something that merits it, like, I dunno, mandatory fellatio laws.

Pluggers, 9/14/06

Commentors on yesterday’s thread have already pretty much said everything I would want to say about the ostensible “joke” of this panel, but I do want to address the reason why the Chief Plugger has chosen to not actually depict a plugger in today’s feature. Note that the individual who contributed the idea is known only as “Sapiens.” This presumably is meant to emphasize that he is a member of our species, Homo sapiens (the reason why a plugger would drop off the “Homo” should be fairly obvious). Since the inhabitants of the Pluggers strip are not human beings at all but rather freakish, mutated Beast-Men, it’s probably for the best that no attempt at visual representation was made today.