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Apartment 3-G, 10/4/05

And yet if I walked into a police station and started shouting “THE GIRLS IN APARTMENT 3-G ARE STALKING ME, I SWEAR TO GOD” — as I would be well within my rights to do — they’d put me away. There ain’t no justice in this world, I tell you what.

Better not encourage Professor Beardopopolous, Lu Ann, as he apparently has an entire bookshelf full of enormous, folio-sized, 1930s-era ALBUMs — and since he has the arm strength to pull one off the shelf one-handed, you know he shows them off a lot. Will you still think it’s beautiful three hours from now? (“And this is what the backyard looked like in 1951, when my mother tried to plant some bougainvillea. That didn’t really work out so well…”) You may not have to pay to honeymoon there, but nothing’s free.

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Say, is there anyone out there who’s skilled in setting up WordPress and interpreting arcane SQL error messages and who’s been thinking, “I love that gosh darn Comics Curmudgeon — what can I do to make his life easier?” Well, here’s your chance. I’ve made a couple stabs at installing the SpamKarma plug-in, which everyone just raves and raves about as a killer of loathsome comment spam (I’ve had a bunch the last few days that featured the word “torture” a lot, so that’s another word that will get your comment put into a queue — sorry about that). But every time I activate it, posting a comment causes the blog to barf out a truly impressive SQL error message of some kind. If anyone would like to help me interpret said error message and possibly get SpamKarma working, e-mail me, please.

For those of you for whom the previous paragraph read like “Blah, blah, blah, blah, boring, stupid computer crap,” I apologize. Here, why not enjoy this image from yesterday’s post?

Ha, ha! Jeff has hairy arms!

Update: Upon further reflection I think I need a WordPress guru. WordPress in theory is supposed to hide all interactions with the SQL database from morons like myself. I can look at the error message and get the gist of what’s going on — there are some tables that WordPress and/or SpamKarma expect to find that they’re not finding, or that they’ve found and the permissions are wrong — but I have no idea why they haven’t been created and/or have the wrong permissions, and I’m really pretty sure that I shouldn’t be mucking around in the database directly, but rather fixing WordPress’s interaction with it (if possible). If you do know a WordPress guru, though, be sure to point them my way.

Yeah, apologies for the further dorkery. Look, the freaky Heat-Miser-hair dude from Gil Thorp has furry arms too!

(Thanks for Kevin Spencer for the cuttin’ ‘n’ pastin’.)

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Dilbert, 10/3/05

This punchline is undeniably funny. However, it just emphasizes a sad and all-too-obvious fact, which is that Scott Adams cannot be bothered to do the kind of detailed drawing work that would really drive home the hirsuteness of the pointy-haired boss’s knuckles. For that kind of loving craftsmanship, we need to turn to Charterstone’s plush leather beanbags:

Even in this low-quality graphic, you can see the layer of lustrous, manly fur that coats Jeff’s forearms. Even his bizarre, gut-and-pelvis extruding posture can’t distract from the fact that Dr. Cory is a charter member of the league of hairy-armed Mary Worth characters. Mary’s libido must be trapped under an ice cap the size of Greenland if she can keep turning away this virile, hairy he-hunk.