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Beetle Bailey, 11/11/04

Many comic strips today offered Veterans’ Day wishes to the veterans, and I of course assumed that the most militaristic of the comic strips would tip its hat towards the men and women of the military. I just didn’t think that it would do so in such a bizarre fashion. I guess the U.S. military really isn’t stretched as thin as all that, since the denizens are Camp Swampy don’t seem in any danger of being shipped out to Iraq. But still, while those who go and actually fight in wars get all the glory, we must remember to honor the forgotten veterans: those that stay in the U.S. and get the living bejeezus beaten out of them by their commanding officers for no good reason. Because remember, if their commanders weren’t taking it out on them, they’d be taking it out on you. At least, that’s the message I’m getting from Beetle Bailey.

Note to anyone seeking to infiltrate a military base for nefarious purposes: Pretend to be a flower delivery van driver! Army guys love flowers.

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Mark Trail, 11/10/04

Mark already has two women in pink polo shirts hot for him — so why not add a third? He hasn’t even been there for 10 minutes and he’s already hearing about how busy Birdie’s husband is with his work … leaving Birdie lonely … so lonely … are you sure I can’t get you more … tea? I’m sure we’ve all seen enough adult entertainment to know where this is going.

In the next day’s strip, we learn that Birdie’s husband’s name is Barracuda. No, really, Barracuda. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. I’m not sure how that affects the Mark Trail-as-porno concept I’ve got going on here. I’m just putting it out there. Barracuda.

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Ziggy, 11/9/04

OK, so, no matter what you may think of the ultimate justification of any particular war, I think we can all agree that experiencing a war is no fun. So can we please have a moratorium on comics jokes derived from war lingo? It’s a little alarming that a phrase that entered the popular jargon when it described firing a cruise missile into a city in an unsuccessful attempt to kill a dictator is here used to denote a bird pooping on Ziggy’s bald head. It’s a serious matter, so let’s lay off the ha-ha war talk, shall we?

Well, except when my dad calls farting in bed “gassing your own people.” That’s still pretty funny. Heh.

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