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Mary Worth, 4/16/05

I thought that maybe it would stop when cruel fate and Dr. Brian’s need to earn a living briefly separated them, but apparently Anna’s brain has been completely taken over by the majesty and fullness and wonder of their love and now she can talk of NOTHING ELSE. In panel two, the extreme closeup on her blank face, unlined by any worry or coherent thought, seems to reveal that she’s so in love that her left eye is about to roll back into her head.

The people I really pity in this situation are her poor yoga students. “Let your breath be your teacher. Leave the rest of your day behind and focus on the present … and on the INCREDIBLY TRUSTING BOND OF TRUST YOU HAVE WITH YOUR MOST TRUSTED LOVED ONE. Seriously, mastering a headstand is one thing, but unless you have the OPENNESS and SHARING of a TRUE LOVE TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP, your life is crap. Did I mention that I’m going to have a BABY?”

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Beetle Bailey, 4/15/05

Normally, I try to avoid just calling out comics artists on their failings, on the logic that they’re human too, etc., but really, Walker brothers (or whoever you are): this is just pitiful. I’m sorry. What the hell is this supposed to be? Were they Camp Swampys mangled up by the sign dropping on them? Is the “construction” to fix the severe damage that they’ve already suffered, or is the construction process actually the cause of their current distressed state? What’s with the bomb — has Camp Swampy actually come under attack? What the hell? I mean, really, what the hell? The only even vaguely clever thing is the little bandage X on the cloud. Still, the whole thing smacks of “Uh oh, tee time rapidly approaching!” On the other hand, there’s a very slight chance that that’s the top of a NUDE MISS BUXLEY sticking up from behind that sign.

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No doubt many of you who are just beginning to appreciate the joys of Gil Thorp have thought to yourself, “There’s no way human hair can look like that in real life!” Well, maybe not, but you can get pretty close with just water and shampoo:

Now, why have I chosen to humiliate myself in this fashion? To encourage you to do the same! You see, there’s been a modest uptick in Comics Curmudgeon gear sales in the past couple weeks. And yet nobody has sent me a photo of themselves wearing, drinking out of, or otherwise using their fun new products! Now, I’m honored, humbled, and excited that you’re buying the stuff (not to mention a dollar richer — or strictly speaking, less poor — for every sale), so it seems a little petty to ask yet more of you. But since you’re clearly prepared to wear it in public to the general bafflement of mankind, why not show it off to the one group of people who are in on the joke? Please, I beg of you: grab your photo phone and digital camera and send me the pic!

Speaking of moneymaking opportunities: if you’re reading these words, you know how intelligent, attractive, and well-heeled Comics Curmudgeon readers are. You’ve probably thought to yourself, “I’d like to advertise my for-profit scheme on this blog, but Google can’t guarantee that my ad will be here, and to be on Amazon you need to be ‘published.'” Well, fear not! I’ve now signed up to have ads from Blogads in my left-hand navbar, and have been so pleased with them that I’ve kicked Amazon to the curb. If you click on the “advertise on the comics curmudgeon” link at the bottom of the ads (or, heck, just click here) you can advertise on this site for as little at $10!

And finally, I, under no financial obligation whatsoever, urge you to check out the new blog at Drink At Work, penned by Medium Large and Sally Forth writer Francesco Marciuliano. He’s been doing a pretty funny series about the comic strip-writing process, which includes one of the most savage and a hilarious screeds directed against Prickly City that I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen plenty). Ces, man, you better watch your back at the next Reuben Awards banquet or wherever the hell it is you people get together.

Update: OK, not exactly what I had in mind, but check out our newest sexy model: