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What I love about The Phantom is it will happily take a break from a storyline about an alien on a private jet from Guantanamo blowing up a warlord's brain with magic TikTok to give us a very specific kink scene where a shirtless man in a cage is taunted by a scantily-clad bongo player. I call this fetish 'bondage at Lilith Fair.’

—Schroduck
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Metapost: Hiatus? You hardly know us!

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We’re leaving tomorrow morning for New York City to take part in the Christomania craze that’s sweeping the nation. Then we’re flying to Bermuda for a not-quite-as-cold-as-the-East-Coast vacation getaway. New comics return on 2/25. Hopefully.

My original plan was to do a comic today and tomorrow to stave off your suffering, but you know what? It’s 2:38 a.m. and I have still have to do a ton of work and pack and clean the kitty litter box and OH THE PAIN, THE PAIN, so: no more comics for you until next Friday. Sorry.

Something to tide you over, though: can anyone, possibly Hungarian speaking, explain what this is, and why it linked to me? I sure would appreciate it.

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No, anything but that!

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Apartment 3-G, 2/16/05

This is quickly becoming one of my favorite features of Apartment 3-G: the Wildly Overacted Margo Reaction Shot. “The public library? Are you insane?“

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We don’t need no stinkin’ innocence

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Judge Parker, 2/15/05

“No, I don’t think you’re listening to me, Harman. She’s an American. A white American. We all know that those crazy-ass Mexican ‘laws’ don’t apply to her!”

Maybe our hero would be having more luck if he were actually talking to someone from the U.S. State Department, rather than Australian Prime Minister John Howard. Also, I like to see that the State Department is being tight-fisted with my tax dollars, since it clearly hasn’t replaced the phones in its offices since 1987.