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Pluggers, 1/26/25

It’s interesting that the caption tells us that “pluggers know when they are ready for an upgrade” when the older dog-man very clearly does not know that it’s time for him to update his hearing aids. The implication casts him outside the bounds of the plugger community, which is chilling: is the age of the Boomer pluggers ending, and the era of Gen X pluggerdom, its hour come round at last, slouching towards the Pluggers HQ P.O. Box to be born? This new generation is represented by the younger dog man here, and yeah, I know these characters all have names, but I’ve been blogging about this damn strip for 18 years and I haven’t learned them yet and I’m simply not going to. I mean, let’s be real, that plugger dog-man is in his 50s, he’s got hearing aids, he’s annoyed by his elders, he’s me. That’s me there, the younger plugger dog-man. I don’t need to know his name. Anyway, I guess they’re out here in the snow because he’s going to put the older dog-man on an ice floe and then walk away.

Dennis the Menace, 1/26/25

I actually find today’s Dennis the Menace kind of charming — not, I feel I need to be clear after writing that last paragraph, because I find it relatable, I have no “plugger”-style problem in that department, thanks. I just like two specific panels: the one where Mr. Wilson emits one of his trademark beads of sweat as he announces the lack of bran cereal, as he is all too aware of the stakes here; and the one where Mrs. Wilson leans down to whisper “it keeps him moving” to Dennis, as if he has any idea what that’s supposed to mean. He’s five years old and not very bright, Martha! You gotta actually say the word “poop” if you expect him to follow what’s going on here!

Mary Worth, 1/26/25

Look, obviously Dirk is an asshole and a creep. But what about Jared, who took up his girlfriend’s idea about doing a photoshoot and immediately turned it into an opportunity for Star Wars cosplay? Isn’t that just as bad? No, obviously not. But it’s not good.

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Shoe, 1/25/25

I was going to go on a riff here about the circumstances under which a lawyer might have to quickly shift from shoes-off relaxation to professional client acquisition mode, but you know what, I’m going to keep my eyes on the prize here: he’s a bird! He can fly! He should be flying after that ambulance, that’s by far the most efficient way to chase it! C’mon!

Pluggers, 1/25/25

I was going to go on a riff here about how I still think of seat warmers as kind of a luxury feature and it’s interesting to see famously frugal and non-elite pluggers casually using one in place of a heating pad you can get for $15 at CVS, but you know what, I’m going to keep my eyes on the prize here: that’s clearly how you would draw the panel if your original joke was about pluggers farting in their cars and then your editor was like “No, sorry, too gross,” but you were on deadline and you had to figure out how to use the same art for something else.

Bizarro, 1/25/25

Aw, I think it’s cute how sad the ghost on the right looks! I mean, I would be too if I died and found out I still had to “make plans” and “set goals.” Not doing any of that shit would be the #1 best thing about being dead!

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Greetings, fellow humans. It is Friday, which means it’s the day I share with you my favorite comment of the week from this weblog:

“You are among at least two friends! I mean, the waitress was pretty friendly, right? And also … let’s see … the building’s HVAC unit! That’s a friend you can always count on!” –Nekrotzar

Many other comments were also deserving of recognition. Here is the list:

“I don’t want to appear jealous … jealous of Dirk for finding Dawn’s nerd side! Dawn never wanted to talk about Star Wars with me, but to Dirk she’s ‘nerdgirl’?! Wait until my incel subreddits hear about how the alpha chads cucked me this time!” –Schroduck

“Dirk’s a boisterous, selfish lout. Jared is an emotionally manipulative manchild who can’t let go of an ex. When do they rub magic rings together and form ‘Captain Wilbur?’” –Where’s Rocky?

“How ’bout a spin-off cartoon about The Bribegiver, that fellow in the blue tunic who has brought a wheelbarrow full of gold across this criminal wasteland all by himself, unprotected (catch phrase: ‘I’ll catch up with you later, boys!’) and now stands, smug and self-satisfied, twiddling his thumbs on his well-fed belly?” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Comics that I thought would reach the ‘Clean Wehrmacht’ myth before Dick Tracy: Frazz (‘Actually, ignorant children, the German Army…’), 9 Chickweed Lane (introducing new ‘sexy Aryan’ character), Crock (Crock gets orders from Admiral Darlan to work with the Germans), Mary Worth (Dawn falls for an elderly German man), Dennis the Menace (Mister Wilson defends his time in the Waffen SS), Garfield (‘I hate Monday and Nazis, but not everyone who fought was…’)” –Voshkod

“You know who else thinks it’s weird that the only guest at Mr. Wilson’s birthday party is their 5-year-old neighbor? Dennis’ parents. But not enough to come over themselves, and join in this extremely sad celebration. Dennis is definitely fine, probably!” –BigTed

“Dirk isn’t afraid to verbally abuse his girlfriend of like 10 days, but he’s apparently afraid of leg day.” –LTJpezcore1

“For you depraved furries who might well make up close to half of Pluggers’ fanbase, here’s the hot, sexy, bare-shouldered middle-aged chicken-woman action you’ve always wanted.” –Morgan Wick

“Today, what I learned is that Loweezy even wears her ubiquitous headscarf to bed, donning a cute frilly sleeping hat on top of it. Also, possibly, that the artists of Barney Google & Snuffy Smith aren’t actually sure what Loweezy’s head is supposed to look like underneath said scarf.” –Kevyn on Video

“It’s good to know that even though she’s a backwoods hillbilly, Loweezy knows the difference between ‘yo’re’ and ‘yore.’” –Weaselboy

“I think the thing I’m loving is that ‘He’s just boring!’ is suddenly considered a bad thing in the Rexverse, instead of an aspiration goal, with the icing on the cake being that the thing this dude is babbling on about, restoring vintage cars, is the obsession of her daughter’s boyfriend. Ha, in your face, Niki! Even the narrative thinks you’re boring as shit!” –2+2=7

“See, Summer? If you’d taken up a hobby, YOU could be the conversation hog on this date!” –MKay

“You’d think that a comics based entirely on NASCAR would have exhausted the jokes years ago, but then you read Gearhead Gertie and it turns out you’re right.” –Ettorre

“I think it’s kind of sad that the babies (and animals?) in this strip seem to have telepathic powers, but waste it communicating bullshit like this.” –pugfuggly

“BLONDIE: Ooh, I’ll have to remember that! That’s great, did you come up with it?
SALESWOMAN (working on commission): Yep.” –Dan

“But if countless tales have taught me nothing else, now is the time for Tina to humanize this Greg, Enkidu-style, that he may enjoy wine, and bread, and human pleasures. Until Greg runs amok across NYC, climbs the Empire State Building, and is gunned down by biplanes.” –A Grave Mind

“Blondie sours on the deal when the clerk uses a comma splice.” –Hibbleton

“So Blondie, a small business owner who earns her own money, is concerned about her husband learning how much she spent on a nice dress. Dagwood, an office drone who alone consumes as much food in a single day as an average large family and golfs, a notoriously expensive hobby. Helen Reddy is spinning in her grave.” –Tabby Lavalamp

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