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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/28/20

Sure, this seems like yet another Snuffy Smith where a forced bit of wordplay serves to remind us about how Hootin’ Holler doesn’t have the modern mores and problems of us flatlanders (frankly, if in the local dialect “trophy” can modify “wife” in such a way as to denote not that the wife is a trophy but rather possesses a trophy, Hootin’ Holler is clearly more isolated from the mainstream English-speaking world than I thought). But it also tells us something else important about the strip’s setting, which is that no institution in this lawless town can be counted on to hand out honors or benefits in a fair or meritocratic manner; rather, status is conferred by a combination of clan loyalty and open corruption.

Pluggers, 2/28/20

Sure, this seems like another panel informing us that pluggers are both different and possibly better than non-pluggers, in this case because instead of taking pictures of themselves that they think look attractive and posting them on social media, they look in the mirror to apply cosmetics in a way that they looks attractive before participating in social interactions in real life. But it also tells us something else important: that wildly prolific Pluggers contributor Reed Hoover maintains his dominance over this strip even from beyond the grave.

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Judge Parker, 2/27/20

How’s Judge Parker Senior’s mayoral campaign going? Well, when he had his surrogates float the idea to the media that he might be thinking about a run, they ran a story on the evening news featuring footage of him being led off to prison in handcuffs, so, not great, it turns out! Still, Sam urges Alan to keep his focus on the people he’s really working for: the prisoners, the ones he met in jail and who helped him understand things about society that he never had before, the ones who he’s going to free by dynamiting the prison walls and turn into an unstoppable army that he’ll use to rule Cavelton with iron fist. Remember how Bane ran Gotham for the last half of The Dark Knight Rises? It’ll be like that.

The Lockhorns, 2/27/20

Wow, never mind the typical gloomy facial expressions on Leroy and Loretta: check out the profoundly intense frown on the face of their poor houseguest. I mean, you don’t expect anyone hanging out with them for any length of time to be happy about it, exactly, but this poor fellow seems to have absorbed the house’s negative energy like a sponge and is probably going to drop dead of a bile overdose at any moment.

Zits, 2/27/20

Zits is not a strip I talk about very often here, but I promise you this: I will always absolutely let you know when it abruptly veers into ass-themed body horror.

Mark Trail, 2/27/20

Wow, you heard it here first, folks: Rusty is going to get red-pilled by reading the unpleasantly ribald comments about Luann on GoComics.com.

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Mark Trail, 2/26/20

Good news, everyone! The internet isn’t just for losers who try to chase social media fame, only to die tragically. You can also learn facts about wildlife and cultures (cultures are the wildlife of people!) around the world. Looks like I don’t have to shut down this blog after all. What a relief! Please do not fatally pursue online fame in my comments.

Gasoline Alley, 2/26/20

Wow, Baleen is really shaking things up here at Corky’s Diner! Letting customers know the operating hours? Using the written word as a medium? What will she think of next???