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Funky Winkerbean, 2/24/20

There are some days when I deliberately misconstrue the obviously intended meaning of a comic strip for comedic effect, but then there are others where I just … genuinely … don’t get the joke. Today is one of them! I don’t get the joke in Funky Winkerbean! My only clue is that every joke in Funky Winkerbean is about how we’re all dying, just some of us more quickly than others, so … maybe it’s that the Winkerbeans are too old to drink beer while watching sports anymore so now they’re drinking hot chocolate instead? Feel free to point out how I’m obviously wrong, in the comments, I’m dying to know what’s up here!

Pluggers, 2/24/20

Say what you will about the art in Pluggers, but I think this drawing of the cat-plugger has nicely captured the facial expression of someone on the nonconsensual receiving end of a long, rambling anecdote who has no obvious exit strategy.

Mark Trail, 2/24/20

Speaking of nicely captured facial expressions, Mark is definitely wearing the frozen mask here of someone who expected to get a lot less pushback from his family about the mildly annoying guy that he left to die in the harsh Himalayan foothills. “I don’t know for sure, Cherry,” Mark says, “but he sure posted a lot on Instagram! Isn’t that the real story here?”

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The Phantom, 2/23/20

In the Sunday Phantom storyline, our hero is taking his daughter on a trip down memory lane (if you’re a Phantom or Phantom-adjacent, a “trip down memory lane” is your dad reading from a musty old journal while you sit in a creepy cave full of tombs) to teach her about her heroic Phantom ancestors. Did you know the 13th Phantom helped defeat Napoleon? This might seem a little far afield from the Phantom’s remit to fight against piracy, but surely by aiding the British and their Empire this hero helped defend his African home … wait, what’s that you say? Well, hmm, maybe he would’ve been smarter to let the French win, and … huh, that wouldn’t have helped either? Well gosh, our hero certainly was in a pickle, wasn’t he. Might as well stick it to Napoleon, I guess!

Funky Winkerbean, 2/23/20

I’ve always found the title Mozart In The Jungle to be so goofy that I’ve worked hard to learn as little as possible about the show, just because I want to savor that name out of context. But now? Now that I’ve seen Holly suggest it as tonight’s viewing, as she flashes bedroom eyes at Funky? Now it’s forever tainted to me. I still don’t want to learn anything about the show, but mainly because I fear it will cause me to have reason to think back upon today’s Funky Winkerbean, which can only depress me.

Beetle Bailey, 2/23/20

Beetle will only be satisfied by the eternal darkness … of the grave.

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Mary Worth, 2/22/20

Ha ha, yes! This is definitely how humans consume and enjoy media! They show each other trailers for parody movies that definitely exist but that they don’t identify by actual title by holding their phones in portrait mode a full foot away from each other! Then they declare their eagerness to pay to see these media products in a theater environment! This movie can’t miss with today’s tech-savvy young people!

Family Circus, 2/22/20

PJ is right to be afraid: this is an absolutely terrifying moment, when the Keane Kids begin to realize that their entire universe is a constructed reality, that they are nothing more than fictional characters created for the passing amusement of beings they couldn’t possibly comprehend on another plane of existence. Today we can see that, as they grapple with this realization, they’ve reached the “bargaining” phase, desperately — and naively — hoping that if they really do live in a comics dimension, it might at least be one of the cool ones.

Funky Winkerbean, 2/22/20

Have you ever yearned for a comic strip that consisted entirely of an unpleasant person muttering impenetrable comics collector jargon to himself? Well, today’s Funky Winkerbean is for you, my friend.