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Family Circus, 7/27/18

Look, I get that whoever’s in charge of coloring the daily comics is probably overworked, underpaid, may not be fluent in English or familiar with any of the art form’s conventions, etc. But the Family Circus is iconic, so when you come at it with your little paint can fill tool in whatever off-brand Photoshop knockoff the contractor employing you illegally downloaded, you best come correct. It’s Billy who’s the blond, and you can tell the difference between him and Jeffy, who’s a redhead, because Jeffy’s hair is lumpy. One is left staring at this panel with the impression that Jeffy has dyed his hair to show his total dedication to the beach lifestyle he and PJ are constructing for themselves. They’re also building their beach out of sugar, so presumably this scene here takes place only moments before everyone flees in terror from an enormous swarm of bees.

Pluggers, 7/27/18

I don’t know what delights me about this more: the image, which shows a crazed plugger reverting back to his true animalistic self, or the caption, which summons up the image of a plugger trying to put his hair up in a bun and somehow getting greasy chunks of ground beef tangled up in it.

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Mary Worth, 7/26/18

Mary’s “I am aware” is pretty hilarious in and of itself, obviously, but it also gives me a great opportunity to remind you of when Mary first became aware of Tommy’s anti-social tendencies, when she smelled him smoking his marijuana cigarettes, through Charterstone’s apparently interconnected ventilation system:

Mary Worth, 9/12/04

Mary came over and was extremely passive aggressive about it, but it’s nice that everyone involved has let bygones be bygones! And really, Mary lives in a state where recreational marijuana is legal now and, thanks to Comic Book Time, at this point she’s at the younger end of the baby boom generation, so she’s probably pretty chill about that kind of stuff! Not the meth, though. It’s gonna take another decade or three for her to be down with meth.

Six Chix, 7/26/18

So the therapist is a chair? The chair that normally a (human, non-furniture) chair would sit in? And the patient is a chair? BUT the couch the patient would normally sit on is not an animate furniture-being. Or is it? OH GOD IS IT FURNITURE FOR FURNITURE, IS IT A LIVING FURNITURE-SLAVE, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE

Beetle Bailey, 7/26/18

There are plenty of Beetle Bailey strips where General Halftrack is angry or confused or depressed, but the fact that he’s so very ecstatic here, like this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him, may be the saddest thing of all.

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Dennis the Menace, 7/25/18

Not menacing: Whispering some dumb pun to your wife so Dennis can’t hear

Menacing: “Get shot in the back of the head and then we’ll talk, kid”

Pluggers, 7/25/18

Pluggers remember the days when red-blooded American men worked good-paying tin-mining jobs, before the globalist cabal used their secret government influence to favor their own aluminum conglomerates!!!!! (NOTE: I have not even bothered to do the minimum Wikipedia research to determine if the U.S. even has tin mines, please do not bother telling me)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/25/18

“Whoa whoa whoah. A good new restaurant? I don’t think anyone said anything about it being good.”

May Worth, 7/25/18

“No problem! Groceries are my thing!” –A man currently holding a bag full of groceries with a huge, obvious hole in the bottom of it

Hi and Lois, 7/25/18

OH NO, TRIXIE FIGURED OUT WHERE MEAT COMES FROM