Metapost: Wheeeee! It’s your comments of the week
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Hey kid! How’d you like this COTW, eh?
“As the humans babbled on behind the glass about their human needs and human concerns, the palm trees gathered, biding their time.” –Voshkod
And these runners up! Really somethin’, you know?
“She seems a little too tense. A little too present perfect progressive tense, if you know what I mean.” –migellito, on Tumblr
“Roz is right to be angry. Who refers to a clown suit as a ‘uniform?’ In fact, the whole point of a clown suit is that it’s garish, ridiculous, and not what other people wear. It’s pretty much the opposite of a uniform.” –jroggs
“Speaking of uniforms, Roz apparently wears her diner apron everywhere.” –Tom T.
“Look, Mr. Plugger, if you have so much trouble with stairs, maybe you shouldn’t have locked so many people in your basement in the first place.” –BigTed
“Dennis’ helpful food advice is extremely non-menacing — until you read it as a memento mori. ‘Remember: eat healthy so you live long. Remember that, George? It was advice you scorned, as you do even now. Your mother whispered it to you in your cradle, and your father moaned it at you from his deathbed. Eat healthy so you live long! But now it is too late, and although you always believed you would be spared the indignity of infirmity, it comes visiting at last. Eat, George. Eat the cake. Eat the ice cream. It is too late to heed this advice.’ George Wilson would find himself up, late at night, digging through a refrigerator bereft of plant life. Looking for the scrap of carrot or spinach that would rescue him. There would be no relief.” –Bunivasal
“Hope I make a bigger hit at the hospital than I did with that cabbie! [forty minutes later] Oh, uh, sorry about that. I couldn’t find the restroom, and I saw that bedpan hadn’t been used, so I thought…” –Joe Blevins
“I’ve enjoyed the support of friends. So now they’re paying it forward to me, especially Wilbur! Are you enjoying your basin of chopped $100 bills? I like mine with silver dollars for a little extra crunch.” –Hogenmogen
“We all joke that Mary is duplicitous and Machiavellian, but only a true master of falsehood could utter such an outrageous phrase as ‘I like Wilbur.’” –Ettorre
“Look closer at the characters in Beetle Bailey. The human aspects have faded into nothingness. All that’s left are 4 stumpy fingers, a few black dots where eyes used to be, and some minimal symbols of their long forgotten status. Happy D-Day!” –Downpuppy
“Since electronic instruments were invented in the 1890s (i.e., as soon as electricity began to be widely available) and classical compositions for electronic instruments began in the 1920’s and 30’s, and Claude Barlow’s timeline has been variously in the Baroque period, contemporaneous with Tchaikovsky, and in the early twentieth century, I’d say this pun lacks a certain shock, wouldn’t you?” –pastordan
“The nurse’s expression says: ‘Unique ways of healing, huh? Great. Just be sure you get me the ICD-10 codes so we can bill and keep your platitude-spouting ass in white bread sandwiches.’” –James Dowd, on Facebook
“Mary, driving home that afternoon: ‘…where the good Lord split ya … ha ha, I get it.’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women
“I’ll talk to you later, Mary! I’m late for the all-hands meeting on how we can reduce occurrences of hospital-acquired bolditis!” –Dragon of Life
“Well said, boy character! Girl character needs to check her height privilege! (I don’t read this comic very much.)” –A Concerned Reader
“The popcorn in Six Chix is a delightful touch. Who doesn’t heat up a bowl of snacks right before snuggling down with your significant other to catch up with the ongoing collapse of social and cultural norms?” –Schroduck
“ABC’s Scandal is one of those shows that I am vaguely aware of through the conversations of friends but have somehow managed to pick up zero details about, aside from the fact that I think it happens in Washington? Anyhow, today’s Six Chix is the perfect representation of how I imagine my friends watching it, with the exception of that flesh-colored couch.” –pugfuggly
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