Don’t hold back, Ian. We need you now more than ever
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Mary Worth, 6/19/24
One of the things one must always be on guard against is the brand of nostalgia that convinces you that the past was always better and that the world we live in is a fallen one. We must instead recognize that every age has its own highs or lows. Do we miss the days when Ian Cameron loomed larger in this strip, veering wildly from smug condescension to bug-eyed rage? Sure, yes, obviously. But current-day Ian’s still got it, as he goes for the one-two punch of “As a professor, I can say with confidence that your dead fish did not experience emotions even when it was alive” and then furiously stage-whispering in hopes that Wilbur will overhear as he solemnly accepts a Mourning Muffin from Mary.
Dick Tracy, 6/19/24
The current Dick Tracy storyline is not interesting enough for me to summarize, but I did think you’d all enjoy this strip, in which the MCU gals have figured out that an attractive lady is somehow tied into their current case and so have decided to download various pictures of her living her best life, print them on glossy photo paper, put them into a manila folder, and hand them over to Dick. The man is happily married but there’s no harm done here, he does not go on the computer and he’s earned this.
Alice, 6/19/24
As far as Alice Lore goes, “Alice accidentally fucked her cousin in college” is not quite as outlandish as “Alice was kidnapped by aliens,” but because it’s more grounded in reality it feels more menacing, I think.
Six Chix, 6/19/24
“Get it? We’re dogs! We literally bark up trees sometimes, even though we now also walk on our hind legs and wear clothes and run medical practices. Anyway, turns out you’re dying, sorry we didn’t figure this out six months ago when we maybe could’ve done something about it.”
257 replies to “Don’t hold back, Ian. We need you now more than ever”
MW: Good God, Ian, what happened to you? You should be making loud, snide comments about how ridiculous this all is and how Wilbur is a grown man and not a special needs child. Instead you’re letting your child bride tell you to hush when you’re whispering about “wacky neighbors” in a barely audible voice. Did you take a wrong turn and get neutered by Doctor Ed instead of that vasectomy?
Mary Worth Mashup: This is the only way to get through this farce without losing one’s mind.
MW-Ian is just saying what we all have been saying.
MW-“Seriously. Wilbur and Mary both need to be locked up.”
FC-Mary Worth is going to have to come over to ‘Family Circus’ and conduct another fish funeral.
FC-Show Jeffy how to flush the fish down the toilet like a normal person is supposed to do.
Look at that height difference between Wilbur and Ian here. The former has gone from resembling George Costanza to the early seasons of Frank Reynolds. Danny DeVito would make for a great Wilbur considering how it’s in line with his usual roles of playing an unlikeable asshole but I think he would have to go at his most nasally tone.
If “Cherry Bimm” is a punning reference to the late-19th century song “Ciribiribin,” then Dick Tracy is having to go further afield for character names. I miss the days when they could just spell “Murder” or “Short” backwards and call it a day.
@Baja Gaijin: “I think that stuff’s finally kicking in, Silent Bob.”
Meta-commentary, but I am curious what database tool Josh uses that allows him to instantly pluck suitable Ian Cameron appearances from 2007 and 2014. Or does he keep it all in his head?
The worst part of today’s Alice is unquestionably the caption. What power does Alice derive from knowing she did accidental incest? No, please don’t tell me.
“Here’s a rock trivia question for you, Toby. What song, written by Joe South, originally charted with Billy Joe Royal, then recharted in a version done by British supergroup Deep Purple?”
“Hush, Ian!”
“ ‘What is “Hush” ?’ is correct, Toby. Select!”
“I(‘ll take rock trivia for 400, Ken, er, I mean, Ian!”
RMMD:
“Gosh, he’s in a pickle!” muses Nerdetta as she contemplates the thematic symmetry between Parker’s predicament and the half-eaten cucumis arguria she is holding.
@Baja Gaijin:
That would be a notable improvement.
MW:
“Hush. Ian! — I have half a mind to call you out publicly for that intemperate comment!”
“Well, you’ve got it half right, Toby. You indeed have half a mind.”
@Liam: If that’s the case, Ian would be saying “Do we really want to be around all these fucktards?” but I suppose I could clean it up to “You know, I never liked that little wiener Wilbur.”
I stopped following Mary Worth when Wilbur was rescued after falling off the cruise ship. The only time I see it now is when Josh continues to hate on it. Based on this, I can say that my decision to stop following is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
@Schroduck:
The power of knowing that her decision to have an abortion was right after all?
@Bob Tice: “One more word out of your mouth, my dear, and you’re back in detox.”
Why is Ian wearing a white turban in Panel 1? Is he moonlighting as a swami who will tell Weelbur about reincarnation? “Don’t worry, Stellan will be reborn for you…..as a jar of mayo!”
@Needless Exposition:
“Toby, you’re three sheets in the wind. Why don’t you sing a dirge for us now to commemorate Stellan?”
“You must remember thish/
A fish is but a fish
To die is just to die…”
“Okay. That’s quite enough.”
@Bob Tice: “Off to Betty Ford for the summer, you botched surgery.”
“Mourning muffins” my butt! This is obviously the ancient sin-eater ritual. Wilbur is taking upon himself all the heinous crimes of that goldfish! And Something Awful will happen to him when he dies (which I hope is soon).
MW:
It’s always a great sartorial choice to pair a long-sleeved purple turtleneck with a tight-fitting black vest on a warm day in June in California.
DT: We still haven’t learned how any of this is evidence of anything, or why Liz felt it necessary to print a bunch of photos of Cherry where her face is obscured but her luscious skimpily-attired body is on display. It’s possible Dick Tracy has greatly misunderstood why Liz gave him this photos with the cheeky suggestion that he might find it good material for, ahem, “rattling the minion’s cage.”
JP: Would someone really go from wanting to marry their partner to furiously abandoning them forever just because they tried to reconcile them with estranged family once? In Judge Parker, absolutely. It probably wouldn’t even make the Top 10 Dumbest Contrived Couple Split-Ups list.
H&L: Yes, a vacation from education is exactly what school summer vacation is. Man, who do I have to blow to get the job of writing “jokes” for Hi & Lois? For any King Features employees who hang out here, consider the following to be my audition for the head writing position:
– “It’s time to wake up and go out, Chip!” “I’d rather lie down and sleep in.”
– “Dawg may be bigger and hairier than me, but we have one thing in common – we both like sunlight!”
– “Flagston, you can’t put a putting green in your office.” “Okay then, Mr. Foofram, I’ll leave early and go to the golf course instead!”
– “Ditto, you should stop eating so many cookies.” “They should stop making cookies so delicious!”
– “Irma wants me to go to AA. I told her I’d only do it if they have an open bar.”
I’ll just stop here so the folks reading can take muscle relaxers for their aching sides. Too much Hi & Lois comedy in one day probably isn’t healthy. Oh, and you can have those ones for free, King Features. You’re welcome.
MW: In his loudest aside yet, Ian asks Toby; “She’s fucking Wilbur, right? Why else would she be doing this?”
6C: “Sorry I got angry about your misdiagnosis but you’re not treating dis temper.”
The fact that they both had open, unfused skulls should have tipped Alice off.
@Hibbleton: “Either she’s fucking him or he’s got to be some kind of genetic mutation she birthed.”
MW: here’s hoping one of the dogs snatches the goldfish out of Wilbur’s hand. What a good boy. How long, BTW, has that fish been out of the freezer?
@Professor Well Actually: In comic time, he’s still a fish stick. For us, he’s thawed into a biohazard.
@Bob Tice: In his later years, George Steinbrenner wore turtlenecks to hide the hideous wrinkles in his neck. I could see Ian doing the same thing.
Rex Morgan M.D. Spanish to English.
What are we supposed to make of Ian’s comments? That Mary is manipulative enough to make him unwillingly join her capers? That her moral compass is badly askew? That Wilbur is demanding more attention than he warrants? That Ian’s 100% right that this whole story is ridiculous?
@Pozzo: She may have stolen that identity from a cheery, beery bum.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
To head off any criticism that Ian participating in this
stupidityfarceevent is out of character by having him flat out say he’s only doing it grudgingly.@Ken: Josh remembers it so we don’t have to!
@Banana Jr. 6000: I think Ian should grow a pair and say out loud that this is the stupidest thing he has ever been involved with. Wilbur is a grown man, not a four year old, and Mary needs to stop enabling him and encourage him to get some actual help. How does a literal child that lost her grandmother get told that she has to suck it up and stop grieving while Wilbur gets to milk his goldfish’s death to the point where the udders are bleeding?
FC: Billy, you magnificent bastard, your timing is brilliant! This is the best thing you have ever done — or will ever do — in your entire life! But you know what? That’s plenty enough!
From now on, you can kick back and rest on those laurels while your simpleton siblings try to grab any shred of attention they can by saying and/or doing stupid things. You’ve already been to the pinnacle. You da man!
MW: Nice to know there’s at least one mature person left at Charterstone, even if it is only Ian.
JUDGE PARKER: You know, a lot of people are complaining about Mary Worth nowadays, but there are people who’d give anything to be featured in that strip. Take Neddy for instance. She’s heard that the title character has been slipping in the “meddling yenta” department, so she’s hoping to produce a demo reel that shows that she can be an unwarranted busybody like nobody’s business!
SIX CHIX: Wouldn’t, “We were pissing on the wrong tree” be more apt? And funnier?
MW: If Toby were a true soul mate, she’d be jumping right in with the sotto voce mockery. Because that’s what happy couples do!
@2+2=7: Neddy can be the new Toby when the old Toby dies of liver failure.
@Professor Well Actually: MW: here’s hoping one of the dogs snatches the goldfish out of Wilbur’s hand. What a good boy. How long, BTW, has that fish been out of the freezer?
Dogs being what they are, here’s hoping one of them will confuse Mary’s fishy snatch for Stellan and hand her the surprise of her life. What a good boy!
Mary Worth: I like imagining Ian looming over the much shorter Wilbur with a belly laugh, “Ho ho ho, a funeral for a goldfish, what will they think of next?” like the Jolly Puce Giant.
@Needless Exposition: It would not shock me at all if Moy was in the “dogs are better than people (especially children)” camp. Note that there are no regularly appearing child characters in this strip, what parental relationships we do see almost always portray the offspring as being in the wrong when there’s conflict, and AFAIK neither Toby nor Dawn has ever even mentioned wanting to have kids.
Which brings me to wonder who the target audience for this strip is. Boomer/Gen X DINKs?
RMMD:
The young lady in this story arc is my favorite — she’s barely said a word.
@Needless Exposition: I think the “old Ian” would have handled this by actually treating Wilbur as a “special needs” child in a very snide, get-cancelled-on-Tik-Tok sort of way. (Of course Ian’s just relieved that there’s someone else to be the “doughy asshole” of the group and take the pressure off, so maybe I’m off the mark a little.)
Interesting Family Circus/Mary Worth crossover today. Sid the Agent is doing good work.
Chix (sic):
“How long do I got, Doc?
“You know all those laws you’ve been following:
Not to go on all-fours;
Not to suck up Drink
Not to eat Fish or Flesh;
Not to claw the Bark of Trees;”
“Yeah?”
“I wouldn’t worry about it.”
Lockhorns: Finally, we understand why the couple has stayed together this long: Loretta is very proud of Leroy’s humongous penis.
Mary Worth – With Dr. Jeff, piloting the boat, they will have as many people going on their small fish funeral trip as the castaways of Gilligan’s Island.
Here is how to cast them in their own remake:
Wilbur – Gilligan
Dr. Jeff – Skipper
Saul and Eve – The Howells
Mary Ann – Mary
Ginger – Toby
Professor – Ian
Dick Tracy – The writers of Dick Tracy mistake the term “influencer” to mean that people who post photos on Instagram for a living having any real influence at all. Is she just the arm candy for various criminal sorts?
Alice – Incestuous relationships explain why the people in the strip’s world have their own reverse version of the Hapsburg jaw
Six Chix – Artist Susan Camilleri Konar probably read some Slylock Fox and thought “But what if instead of a police procedural, it was a medical drama, but with dogs!”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Ian has raised (self-) absorption to such an art form that he should be a spokesperson for Bounty paper towels.
MW: Huh. Ian is saying it’s just a fish, and Toby is (verbally) fighting him. I think the author reads this blog.
There are very specialized websites hidden deep in the dark web where with just a few clicks of the mouse, AI will create an image of your favorite celebrity, or neighbor, or local rip-off artist, with four wings, four faces and feet like a calf gleaming like bronze. For an extra fee, you can get three sets of wings and eyes all over the subject’s body. Dick Tracy does not want you to know about these sites, but Dick Tracy very much does.
@Philip:
I think it should go
Mary Ann – Toby
Ginger – Ian
Professor – Mary
Because Mary is the character that gets involved in every plot while being treated as an infaillible genius, while Toby is an ingenue who gets constantly shit on by the vamp Ian.
One Big Happy: Oh, Grandpa!
@Tom: The only regularly occurring “child” has been Dawn at nineteen years old followed by Keith’s not-daughter Sonia at twenty. Toby also ends up teaching an art class for college students that she treats like kindergartners who are learning how to finger paint. Moy really doesn’t seem to want to include children unless they have “tummy brains” or she wants to make them look like ungrateful brats when they’re much more mature than the middle aged and elderly children of Charterstone.
MW: Ian stands ready with both a shot of insulin and a cup of white sugar once it’s determined whether Wilbur’s irrational behavior is caused by too high or too low a glucose level.
MW: Huh. I see Mary is finally distributing those muffins that have been sitting on her counter, untouched, for the last month. By this time, the Claviceps purpurea fungus will have fully infiltrated the things. My guess is, the whole funeral party will be hallucinating in short order. Either that, or they all ate these muffins weeks ago, and the whole Stellan-Wilbur-Funeral episode is nothing more than a mass hallucination from which we will all recover, only to find that, in reality, Stellan lives, Wilbur is still a jerk, Toby is under the influence, Ian is pontificating, Saul and Eve have long since moved with their dogs to the nearby town of Taft, and Mary has been jailed for distributing LSD.
@2+2=7: Actually, that is silly of me to speculate because Ian already has someone he can treat as a “special needs” child (does subtle upward gaze to panel #2)
And since we’re talking about comic crossovers, I am absolutely convinced that the “Toby” appearances are just us gazing into a scrying orb to check in on Luann Degroot’s eventual fate.
MW: [Ian thought balloon] “Geez, the
things we’re willing to dobullshit I put up with tohelp wacky neighborspatronize assholes like Wilbur and please my idiot wife.”9CL – If the thought of heterosexual intercourse makes Hugh want to vomit, and given that we spent several months with sequences of Hugh agreeing to carry Xiulan to a hotel room, but then backing out at the last minute, and several more months with Hugh and Xiulan naked in the water together but Hugh still incapable of consummating the relationship….
Maybe heterosexuality isn’t Hugh’s best thing and he should stop being in relationships that fill him with fear and make him want to vomit?
@Baja Gaijin:
Mash-up: You’re on top of your game, Baja!
@2+2=7: Luann being a future bride of Ian Cameron is possible if she stays nineteen.
Hooooo boy, when a man with a chin curtain beard who is wearing a vest over a turtleneck thinks you’re too “wacky”, it may be time to consider some in-patient care. That being said, it’s time to write some words that have never been uttered in the entire history of comics and at any other time would have had people questioning my own mental state… Thank goodness for Ian Cameron.
Curtis: And we were just talking about “cutting out toxic relatives” in Judge Parker. First, the aunt wished Curtis and Barry weren’t born, then she questioned the kid’s parentage.
Which one gives “The Reason You Suck” speech to her?
RMMD:
Dour Dora in the first panel will be going as the Antimatter Young Jill Whelan for Halloween.
MW: “Just endure it until we’re all out on the boat together, Ian. Wilbur may have improbably escaped maritime disaster twice already, but his luck can’t hold out forever!”
MW: Having partaken of several mimosas, Ian yells across the room, “Hey Weston, you don’t have any hamsters or anything, do ya?
DT – “Cherry Bimm” sounds like a dirty, dirty porn name. I’m not sure exactly why. But it does.
@Bob Tice: Parker: “It’s nice to know that these cardboard cutouts got my back!”
@astroboy: A “dirty porn name” in the comic strip, Dick Tracy? No….
@2+2=7:
I guess it’s because it’s one letter off from Cherry Bumm. Or that “Bimm” rhymes with “quim.”
DICK TRACY: Lee Ebony: “Well she’ll stand out in a crowd, Tracy…unless she goes to an Amy Adams convention.”
MW – Nothin’s like stuffin’ muffins from the offen…er, oven….
DT – She’ll stand out…I mean if she’s wearing a bikini or toasting at a wedding….
Alice – Shouldn’t there be one of those, the more you know stars streaking across this strip….
6-C – They swore to me that I had testicular cancer….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
C’shaft: That’s a good way to promote your franchise, by announcing that you hate having to interact with its fan base and your dream is to never have to do it again.
JP: All happy families are complicated alike; each unhappy family is complicated in its own way.
Luann: First you were mad a Jonah because he was an out-of-work actor spending his time going to auditions, now you’re mad a Jonah because he’s a working actor spending time shooting on location. I’m getting the feeling Jonah could hold down a boring HR job and we’d be expected to hate him because he’s not paid enough to handle child care.
Phantom: The landing must not be going well; the rocket’s beating back a huge f-bomb.
RMMD: Wow, material like that must kill at open mike nights.
MW: “Wilbur, let me get this straight. You’re going out on a boat so that you can toss a frozen fish into the ocean? That’s pretty much the opposite of the way we used to do things, back when I was the Gorton’s fisherman!”
Luann: Wait, Jonah, so you’re saying that Shannon won’t have to stay at Toni and Brad’s in July, and you’ll be back to take care of her again in September? That’s the surprising part, not that she’ll have to stay with Toni and Brad for the entire month of August.
@Tabby Lavalamp: I know, right? Who would have guessed that pompous ass could have become the Voice of Reason? On the other hand, he showed up instead of simply responding to the invitation with a blustering, “Preposterous notion! There is NO FUCKING WAY we will be there. Count us OUT.” So he’s still a boob with a chin beard.
MW – “Wacky”? I’m not a fan of the new Ian. After listening to Wilbur talk about his goldfish as if it were a person, the old Ian would have gone with “batshit insane.”
32 @Anonymous @34 Needless Exposition: You’re both right. Today’s strip is an admission that Moy knows this story doesn’t work. It goes against Ian’s personality, it undermines Mary’s credibility, and it makes Wilbur even more detetable than he already was.
Family Circus – Today’s episode: Wilbur Weston, the Early Days.
MW:
“Oh, look, Toby! A tray of muffins! Let me slurp them down forthwith to sate my Brobdingnagian, nay, Pantagruelian appetite!”
@2+2=7:
“I understand that their favorite medical show on TV is Gray’s Anatomy. Go figure.”
MW:
Panel 3: “Hush? Absolutely not! In fact I am going to end this farce right now!” [walks to Wilbur].
Panel 4: “Give me that fish, Weston! When I was a bright lad at Magdalene College, swallowing these little buggers was all the rage.” [Swallows Stellan]. “There! In 24 hours it will be part of my excrement! Feces! I’ll bring him back to you in this box then! Come Toby!”
Dick Tracy has battled a villian whose face was entirely wrinkled, an entire family with perfectly flat heads, and Cate Blanchett, and Lee thinks this normal-looking redhead will stand out in a crowd?
Alice finally put her collection of ex-lovers’ fingernails to good use, I guess.
Also, yinz, this seems to be a blackmail ring whose victim said they were “angels in appearance but devils in practice” so they are Ms. Van Duivel and Cherry Bim for cherubim.
And a Sarah Phym too.
@Charterstoned:#55 — Just so. Eleusinian Mysteries, according to Hofmann.
Baldo: How to read Mary Worth.
MW: Mary blackmailed each of her neighbors, forcing them to attend. Either that or so little happens in Santa Royale that Wilbur’s fish funeral is the social event of the season.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Yes
@Wool Worth:
“Let’s have a pool party and throw Stellan in the pool!”
Pardon me if anyone else already hypothesised this, but I have an idea of why Mary didn’t bother about Weelbur in weeks/months, when we know perfectly well that she can’t survive a day without meddle. This story arc is presented in anachronic order. Dawn left and Weelbur had his meetings with Eshtelle and Irish while Mary was just starting with the dog fight story, which is why Weelbur didn’t feature in it. He isolated himself just as Saul and what’s he name got married, and Stellan died early in the
Keith Hillend meddle. Only recently has Mary found the time to even remember he exists.
@Cleveland Mocks:
Having partaken of several mimosas, Ian yells across the room, “Hey, Weston, you don’t have any parakeets that are getting married, do ya? Or a hamster that’s graduating? Maybe a turtle’s First Communion?”
“Ian, you’re embarrassing me!”
“Ha haaa, not as much as this whole farce is embarrassing every one of us. Hey, Mary, got anything a little stronger?”
love is… giving him experiences you never had as a kid such as taking him out to the middle of the lake and tossing him in saying, “Okay. Now, learn to swim. I’ll be on shore.”
Hey SID! Which one of these is Formerly Wounded Elk?
Mary Worth: Gotta love how this strip was trying to be heartwarming by showing all the friends Wilbur actually had, only to not even a week later subvert that and make clear most of these people are here because Mary pestered them to, as most of them actually can’t stand Wilbur. Mixed messages much?
Dick Tracy: In the weirdly puritanical world of newspaper comics, Cherry Bimm wearing a sexy outfit at any point of her life instantly marks her as a suspect. Human sexuality is a gateway drug in ol’ Dick Tracy’s eyes!
Alice: Speaking of human sexuality, whose dick did the writer have to suck to get implied incest past the censors in a medium that won’t even allow the most mild of swears?
Six Chix: Yet another example of anthropomorphic animals raising huge and bizarre worldbuilding questions. Like, what do dog breeds mean in a world where dogs are people? Is it their equivalent to ethnic groups? If so, how did that happen given that in the real world, dog breeds are purposefully engineered for specific purposes? Is this dog society based on eugenics? Scary stuff.
Mary Worth – I’m a little confused. Has the burial at sea already happened? I can’t believe that Moy wouldn’t show that in all its insanity. If it hasn’t happened, why are all the neighbors there? They can’t all fit on the boat. And why are they eating already?
Who serves muffins at a funeral reception? This calls for hors d’oeuvres or cheese and crackers.
Not that the rest of this situation makes any sense.
6Chix – The nurse accidentally filed your test results in the wrong file, and we didn’t catch it for several months. Sorry about that. It’s a good thing for us that you won’t bother to sue us for malpractice.
Frazz – Mrs. Olsen hassles Caulfield, and Caulfield hassles Mrs. Olsen. It’s the circle of life.
DT – You want to know what happens if you rattle the Minions’ cage? You’ll probably hear something like “Bello! Looka too! BEE DO BEE DO BEE DO! Heh heh heh… Oh poop.”
Mary Worth: I’m actually surprised that everyone was willing to dress up in formal black outfits for Wilbur’s fish funeral. Not Ian, though! He’s basically wearing the same outfit he dons at college to show that he’s the Cool Professor. No constraining, socially conformist neckties for him! On campus, you shouldn’t even call him Professor Cameron — it’s just Ian (as he says to the more attractive female students when he invites them to visit during office hours, even though they don’t have any questions).
Speed Bump: This got me wondering. Are there podcasts about squirrels? Oh, yeah.
When did Mary Worth go from the voice of good sense to a wacky neighbour in her own strip?
FC: Fishapalooza 24 is underway! I’m sure everyone saw this and thought of Stellan! How could you not? He’s made the Goldfish Corpse role his own! But he’s still workin’ the gig at Mary Worth, so this is one of his understudies, gettin’ a big break. He’s doing a good job for his debut, but he still has to rely on the Xed-out eyes to signify death, whereas a Big Star like Stellan can do it with just his eyes closed….
@Baja Gaijin: Mashup – I love Mary’s fish head.
@jroggs: Re JP – Serious answer: Neddy immediately jumped to “I have to get this family back together!” without giving any consideration to Declan’s feelings about it. He’s already said that he hasn’t had any contact with them for years, and he is obviously bitter and hurt about what happened. The fact that she doesn’t give a shit about his feelings about the estrangement should be a red flag. In addition, what if she actually accomplishes this reconciliation? It sounds like the parents are horrible people. Does Neddy think that getting them all back together will completely erase Declan’s bitterness, and they will turn into a big happy family?
This story has really struck a nerve with me. I don’t want to go into details, but I’ve seen a very similar situation in my life, and it was not happy.
Alice – “I learned that if I want to fantasize about my ancestry, I’d be better off going to a medium who claims to be able to channel my past lives. It’s more entertaining and almost as accurate.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Do you like the door I made for Monin?”
“Yes…”
“But there’s a problem”
“Mimosa gets jealous when she can smell what we’re having for dinner!”
Alice Doesn’t Live – The fun thing about doing genealogy is that if you dig deep enough, eventually, you will find the places you and your partner share ancestors. Your parents, too. Everyone is related; the only question is how recently your lines cross. Anyhow, I really hope Alice’s ex wasn’t a sixth cousin or something, that’s boring. I’m going with secret twin. That’s cause for real regret there.
@Situation Normal: That fits with the Underworld theme. Are you also suggesting those muffins are made with pomegranates?
MW: Ian is just saying what all of us have been thinking for weeks now.
Dustin: If I were that police officer, I’d be less concerned about the speeding and more about how and why this guy is driving while his hair is covering his eyes.
Zits: At least they’re getting home safe, but…a 7-hour Uber? Pretty sure a plane ticket would be cheaper.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: What’s Willa up to these days? Any truth to the rumor that she is about to be written out of the strip entirely after angering Karen Moy with some social media posts?
MW: given Wilbur is a weirdo and stands a maximum of 5’2″, he must have been bullied in junior high
Nancy – I have six comics I follow regularly, but I always finish my morning reading with Nancy as way to get that awful Luann taste out of my mouth.
I’m not sure how well today’s strip shows up in newsprint, but I actually laughed. In no small part because I am a bird watcher and my husband takes gorgeous bird photos for me.
SECOND HUSBANDS:
– LUANN: We were a bit mystified when sweet, clingy Irma Berger was thrilled to be about to share a bed with shady Las Vegas operator, fixer Al Gray. Yet that seems to be turning out all right.
– SF:. Ted’s sweet, docile mom somehow hooked up with Mr. Competence, the most handsome and most charming man east of the Pacific. Ted was right to be wary, now it seems Rowan is also rich. Ted, instead of letting down your guard you should be seeing another red flag.
MW: I won’t say this very often, but current circumstances demand it: #TeamIan
@astroboy: It was “Cherry Quim” before she changed it legally.
@TheDiva: William Shatner showed more tact that this when talking about fans.
@Baja Gaijin: So distracted was I by Wilbur’s “wacky” mullet that I almost missed the floating ass.
@Little Guy:
CURTIS:. Isn’t questioning Curtis’s paternity more a slam against Diane than Greg?
Comics Curmudgeon Commentary set to Mary Worth: Nine lucky commenters’ words were added to today’s Mary Worth strip. Are they better than the original?
H&L: Kinda ambiguous today. Is ne’er-do-well Ditto modeled after in-strip Thurston or Luann’s Jonah?
@115 taig: Wait, what? Wilbur’s not floating, he’s firmly on the ground due to gravity. [Sequitur whispers] Ohhh, “floating” ass.
MW: Wilbur telling Ian that Stellan would be glad to know friends have gathered in his honor may be the most ridiculous remark I’ve ever read in a comic strip.
@The Ghost of Jarrod: I happen to know I’m a direct descendant of Attila the Hun. And you are too, bro.
@Activist 1234: We already got the impression that Ronan’s family was rich, but I was expecting his childhood home to be one of those austere old-money brownstones in Murray Hill or Gramercy Park — y’know, Rooseveltland.
@Baja Gaijin:
Excellent!
@Sizzlin’ Hot: You haven’t been reading “Mary Worth” for very long, then…?
@I speak Jive: (6Chix) Got the reference!
Slylock Fox: I’m guessing the bird bit off his nipples.
Gasoline Alley: The nerve of that cat! Doing its Libby impersonation in the first panel. What cheek!
Looks Good on Paper: A Pluggers strip with better artwork.
Hägar the Horrible: Helga’s out-jutting Thel today.
@Old School Allie Cat: I can just see a newspaper editor (Do they still have those?) taking a look at Jaimes’ submissions and going “Are we really paying money to print someone’s vacation photos?”)
I am sorry.
I have never understood what Olivia Jaimes is trying to do with “Nancy”.
She is a completely static character whose only personality traits are jealousy, laziness and ennui.
@Baja Gaijin:
Truly outstanding — as always.
Alice: Looking at Alice and her immediate social circle I don’t really think incest is really an earthshaker among this crowd, or at least not their parents.
DT: There may be some crowds where Cherry Bimm will stand out but there are about 9 trillion of her on Instagram.
MW: While Ian has a deep-pile mustacheless beard and is wearing a vest over a turtleneck, and while Toby has turned her vaguely artsy inclinations into a source of income, neither are known to own an acoustic guitar. They have not been asked to compose and perform a dirge for Stellan, nor will they volunteer to do so. For that we can all be grateful.
Six Chex In Search Of A Punchline: “Dont worry, I’ve got Mal-bark-ness insurance.”
Alice: “My college boyfriend, Pablo, painted me.” “In the nude?” “No, cubes.”
Alice – What the other woman learned: Alice dated exactly one guy in college. That’s one more than she would’v guessed.
MW: Wilbur asks everyone to join him in an interpretive dance expressing their shared grief over Stellan’s passing. Some weeks later, Toby discovers that she is pregnant.
@Bob Tice: “Let’s have a pool party and throw Stellan in the pool!”
___________________
The rejected title to the movie “Throw Momma From The Train”.
@What I Shoulda Said:
Ian is on a roll:
“Hey, everybody, our ferret is being baptized next Sunday. You’re all invited over!”
“IAN!!!”
@Peanut Gallery: That’s a woman?
@Baja Gaijin: Slylock Fox: I’m guessing the bird bit off his nipples.
______________________
“Holy titty twister Batman!” “Yes, chum, this time Harley Quinn has gone beyond the purple nurple.” “Isnt that the club you go to do the Batusi?” “,
@Ukulele Ike: You’re right, I shouldn’t make any assumptions. In fact, it was an act of entirely too much faith to suppose that apparition is a human.
@Charterstoned: If Toby is pregnant with a fish-Wilbur hybrid, I approve of this strip’s shift to Lovecraftian horror.
@Ukulele Ike:
That’s a woman?
Hey! Uncalled for! I know Alice looks weird, but-
Oh, you meant the other person. Yeah, you wouldn’t notice they’re (seemingly) wearing a dress at first glance…
@Sequitur: Little Naked Guy was a city kid. He never got to experience mosquito bites, sunburn, and accidentally stabbing his fingers with fishhooks.
@Cleveland Mocks: Ian is on a roll:
“Hey, everybody, our ferret is being baptized next Sunday. You’re all invited over!
______________________
Now my inner ear is hearing Ian’s dialog in Rodney Dangerfield’s voice.
@Little Blue Bicycle: Comment of the Week!
MW: Ian, the hero we never wanted, never knew we needed, and, honestly, don’t really deserve…
@Peanut Gallery: Is Mamosa an elephant or an Arrdvark?
@Cleveland Mocks:
Becoming more and more pleased with himself the more he imbibes, Ian can’t help himself.
“Hey Weston, our rose bush is having a birthday next week. What do you recommend as a gift?”
@119 Baja Gaijin:
Actually I whispered about God’s ass (Exodus 33:18-23).
@Peanut Gallery: “So what did you learn from your DNA search, Alice?” “”I have no DNA, just spaces between my body parts.”
@Garrison Skunk: In my mind he sounds like George Sanders.
We happened to catch All About Eve on TV last night, so he’s on my mind. He could deliver a line with perfect acidity.
GoComics has a special on picky eaters.
MW – It helps to imagine Ian’s voice as Darrell Hammond doing Sean Connery on SNL. “I’ll take Anal Bum Cover for 7000, Alex.”
FG: Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of Flash Gordon: Union Organizer.
@I speak Jive: #148: If not George Sanders how about David Ogden Stiers in his most Charles Winchesterish?
Crank: Boy, it’s at times like this I really wish Batty’s pet characters could possibly suffer consequences for stuff.
(Bad things can happen to them, sure, but it’s always down to a cruel fate; it’s never as a direct result of the fact they’re all terrible people.)
FC: Here’s the thing. “Could we take him to the vet’s?” is the reaction of a naive (and, let’s be honest, stupid) child who doesn’t understand death. And yet, somehow, it’s still a more mature reaction than “Could we store him in the freezer until we find someone with a boat who’s prepared to help us bury him at sea?”
HtH: Today I learnt that the fact Helga normally looks entirely shapeless is entirely down to the cut of her usual dress, and I don’t know how I feel about that.
MW: I don’t have anything to add regarding today’s strip, but I’d like to thank Josh for linking to that strip, as a result of which I am, once again, singing “Hanna Dingdong, Hanna-Hanna Dingdong!” to the tune of Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang.
OTH: So, it turns out the Over the Hedge creative team believes there are medical emergencies, and even surgery, in Rex Morgan MD. Who wants to tell them?
Peanuts: Maybe Mrs Nelson needs a new golfing friend; I understand Ericka gives Mimi Thorp strokes all the time!
Pluggers: I read the caption several times, convinced I was on the very edge of figuring out what the hell Bernard Whitacre was talking about. Then I shrugged and moved on.
RMMD: Corey “budding stand-up comic” Wild makes a borderline servicable joke. Parker immediately asks where he stole it from. And, given our prevoious experience of Corey’s comedy stylings, well they might!
@Anonymous: That was me. It did that thing where it logged me out after I hit post again.
And of course, now that I can’t edit, I immediately see a typo. “Prevoious”??
@Guillermo el chiclero: Yes! He was great at doing conceited pomposity.
@Ukulele Ike: #121: Somewhere I read that if you’re of European or Near Eastern descent you’re most likely related to a Roman emperor.
@I speak Jive: #155: One of my favorite Winchester lines was during an episode where Hawkeye and BJ were arguing over who told a joke better. Charles’s answer was, “I’m sure you’ll both settle it like children.”
@Anonymous: On Pluggers It’s funny because Pluggers have bills to pay. Nobody else does that!
MW: Yes, Ian speaks for us all. I adore this strip – the tropes alone are (almost) worth the tedium and exasperation of reading it every day. Day after day…every… darn… day…
6Cx: Okay, you know how my Intern is now handling the one-panels… and how that Six Chix scheduling app he created goes on the fritz sometimes? Well, he thought he was sending talent over for a Thursday gig, so he figured it didn’t really matter about their appearance since you might not even be aware they’re Dogs. Well, it just goes to show that a Dog doesn’t have to be conventionally attractive to knock it outta the park with a great performance!
The “patient” is exhibiting all the emotion you’d expect in this somber situation – sadness, disbelief, dismay. While he’s not much to look at, he’s really connecting with the audience. And the detached demeanor of the “doctor Dog” as he delivers the punchline really sells the pathos here. A happy accident in scheduling two of our best character actors!
@Sequitur: Sorry, Seq – none of those actors in the comic you linked is Formerly Wounded Elk. I understand he’s the ChairBull of the LoFo Summer Solstice Extravaganza tomorrow, so he’s a pretty busy guy. It’s not an “honorary” position, either – he’s taking an active role in lining up entertainment, as well as seeing that there’s a good supply of fermented berries for those who indulge. Even rented some porta-potties,,, although I don’t expect Ol’ Rex can be convinced to use one…
@Baja Gaijin: #2
“ This is the only way to get through this farce without losing one’s mind.”
For many of us, it’s too late…
@Baja Gaijin: #2
This definitely helped ground me just in time for my next microdose. Thank you!
Poteet, how are you surviving the heat dome hitting flyover country? It’s actually hotter in Ohio than Texas. Down here in Houston we’re catching the ass end of that tropical storm that’s going to hit Mexico. Just finished burying one our dogs we had to put down when the rains started. Was my mother-in-law’s (Australian shepherd) but we ended up with him after she had to go in a nursing home about five years ago. Was somewhere between 13-15 years old and in bad shape (blind, diabetic, arthritic).
Pluggers: Pluggers are poor # 14,738.
@Garrison Skunk: Several blind men each felt different parts of Mimosa the elephant. The one who felt her trunk said, “Aardvark.” The one who felt her ears said, “Cocker spaniel.” The one who felt her tail said, “Very skinny rat.”
Then a sighted man looked at Mimosa and said, “Hippopotamus with a long nose, wearing a yarmulke.”
MW: I kinda love Ian’s understatement, which is along the lines of that classic audience-member response to “Springtime for Hitler” in THE PRODUCERS. “Well! Talk about bad taste!”
@Baja Gaijin: One of your best.
@Pozzo: I was thinking of Chiribim Chiribom, as, e.g., sung by the Barry Sisters. However, @matt w is probably correct about the interpretation of the name.
Blondie-“We might even become a legit catering company instead of using it as a front for our illegal activities.”
@Guillermo el chiclero: Thank you for asking! Yep, it’s hot, but compared to what weather is doing to people in some other states, I’m lucky. And I’m so sorry about your dog. How nice of you to adopt your mother-in-law’s canine baby, and shepherds are special. Sympathies.
@Baja Gaijin: Your mashups take a nothing day & suddenly make it all seem worthwhile. Keep up the good work!
@Sequitur: I wouldn’t say this about most strips, but I’m willing to reread CUL DE SAC online for as long as it’s there.
@matt w: I don’t follow DT, but I saw that name today and thought “cherubim” and then figured that was too ridiculous. Thank you for the reminder that this is DT, where Ridiculous freely frolics:-).
@172 Poteet:
I know. I read Cul de Sac every day. I think I’m on my 4th or 5th time through it. It never gets old.
@matt w: Thank you for “yinz”!
@Sequitur: At some point, we Culsaccers may become a happy cult:-).
RMMD:
Clutching her aromatic vegetable of the Apiaceae family, the young lady dreams of a future in which she is a celeried employee somewhere.
Who can mess the world up with advice
Who can take a sunny day and suddenly make it not seem so nice
Well it’s Mary and you should know it
With each glance and every little muffin she shows it
Love is all around she’ll make you take it
Endearing quirks and all, you’ll have to fake it
She’s gonna force you after all.
@Sizzlin’ Hot: #120
The sheer quantity of ridiculous remarks in this strip is encyclopedic.
@taig: That’s what I’M talking about!
MW: I got curious, so I did a little online reading. It turns out that fish do have emotions, both positive and negative, and some fish seem to recognize themselves in mirrors and some fish seem to recognize individual people. Now my sympathy is entirely for Stellan and Willa, whose only interaction with humans has been with a human whom even normal humans can barely stand, and by “normal humans” I mean us.
9CL: It’s a bit of a comfort to know that the Chickweed residents experience the same nausea at their affairs as we do.
BB: Amos is old and for some reason he wants Miss Buxley’s breasts to know it.
C-Shaft: Openly insulting the fans of your movie series seems like an odd way to promote the latest installment of said franchise. Of course from what I’ve seen of said fans I don’t completely not get it.
Dustin: And you might not have been caught speeding were your rearview mirrors pushed in so far all you can see in them is your wrist.
FC: As Dr. Jeff’s yacht is about to set out from the marina, he and the passengers hear clunking footsteps and heavy breaths. “Dear God!” Jeff says when he sees the ginger-melon head. “What is that thing?”
GT: Yes, this was the only time that Coach Cami could have had this come-to-Jesus with Dorothy Wolfe and that’s a perfectly good reason to pull her out of the game while she was kicking ass.
Phantom: Is it a bad sign when a spacecraft hurtles toward the ground making Dagwood Bumstead snoring noises?
@Little Blue Bicycle: re Willa – well, our favorite female Fish star is keepin’ her options open, for now. I guess you saw that inflammatory post where she dissed the strip and the creators for their blatant favoritism for Stellan, and the total neglect of her role after his “death.” She is considering legal action for all her complaints about the diminution of her character here. But she’s waiting to see if they are bluffing about getting her a new “companion” to “replace” Stellan. She’s willing to stay on if they hire Stellan to play the “new” Goldfish.
Ian is already a talentless drip who landed a cushy tenured job and scored a blonde trophy wife young enough to be his daughter, and now he’s snarking at Wilbur in an effort to torpedo the latter’s insipid fish funeral?
…I think he’s my hero now.
@Poteet: I am the proud owner of the CDS collected works (2 volumes!)
@Poteet: Okay, but they don’t have frikkin’ eyelids. Let’s be clear on that point. Their eyes look the same, happy, sad, angry, confused, besotted, or dead.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: I heard Don Knotts was auditioning.
@Baja Gaijin: I vote for the ferret baptism.
@Die Rosenkavalieren: You can’t tie down a banjo man!
DT: Cherry Bimm. Take your pick for the origin of this Dick Tracy villain name.
@Peanut Gallery: I think you have Curtis’ next Kwanza story there.
@189 Ukulele Ike:
I’m agreeing with you now. There is WAY too many comments about Mary Worth/Wilbur etc. on this blog. The worse thing is they’re all pretty much saying the same thing.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Phantom: Is it a bad sign when a spacecraft hurtles toward the ground making Dagwood Bumstead snoring noises?
__________________
“I said LUNCH, not Launch!”- Chuck McCann
@Charterstoned: Well, I certainly hope they’re gonna consider only Fish for the role – not deceased two-leggers, no matter how talented. I don’t think I could legally represent Mr. Knotts.
And about the eyelids – maybe those *ordinary* Goldfish are lidless, but we’re talkin’ Show Biz here. There are legitimate Ichthyologist Plastic Surgeons who cater to the celebrity crowd, and our insurance covers the procedure.
Pluggers: Only pluggers pay their bills. The rest of us are deadbeat moochers.
Honestly, Mary Worth herself is probably more “wacky” (deranged) than Wilbur, because she _chooses_ to spend time with him, Wilbur has the excuse of being trapped in his own skin.
@seismic-2: Ooh, well played!
@jroggs: Nice job. You just wrote all of next week’s strips.
@Sequitur: Yeah! Down with Mary Worth! MORE HI & LOIS SNARK!!!!
Trouble is, many of us only comment on the comics Josh addresses that day. And Josh has been following Wilbur around with his magnifying glass and nose to the ground like Slylock Fox for the past couple of weeks. Karen Moy may be a distant relative.
I apologize, Toby, for not taking this fish funeral sufficiently seriously. To make amends I have composed a stirring final eulogy in the style of Robert Burns.
As much as a goldfish could be glad,
Wee Stellan lived, altho’ his days were few.
Noo stand the neibours, feigning tae be sad,
An’ Wilbur’s mournin’, his fat hert brack in two.
Och, Wilbur, ye numpty! In this dull comic sphere,
Where mirth’s sae scarce, an’ your life’s gan agley,
Ye hold a fishy funeral, complete with shoebox bier?
It’s nae wonder yer Tinder prospects languish dim and grey.
He croaks oot a dirge, his muffin’d lips aquiver,
For the puir floatin’ goldfish, now grown still an’ cauld.
When your best mate’s a minnow, Fate will shuir deliver
A life full o’ Brutality untold.
Yet grieve on, dear Wilbur, for your wee finned relation,
Let your tears mingle wi’ that stagnant pool,
For ye’ll nae doubt find some new botheration,
And some new sorry pickle, ye hapless, bumbling fool!
Blondie – They won’t have to worry about where to put the pastries, because the pastry chef is going to show up and then discover that there are no tools and no space for her to work in. Hey, one step at a time!
Don’t worry, Ian should ramp up his audible disdain as he starts taking hits from his whiskey flask. I don’t know if Ian actually has a whiskey flask, but he is 100% the type of person who does.
@MasterMahan: All Scotsmen are born with their whiskey flask attached to them and ready to put in the nearest pocket.
@Baja Gaijin:
Comics Curmudgeon Commentary set to Mary Worth: Nine lucky commenters’ words were added to today’s Mary Worth strip. Are they better than the original?
Ha haaaa, every one of them, Baja! (And thanks!)
@Ukulele Ike:
Hi and Lois: Where humor is always on vacation.
And Dot is taking a vacation from closing her mouth.
@Baja Gaijin: Frikkin’ HILARIOUS!
@Baja Gaijin: I didn’t expect my “dry wit” to be mentioned twice, let alone once. Your mashups make this slog of a story feel less miserable.
@204 Peanut Gallery:
Hi and Lois: When in 2004 humor couldn’t figure if it wanted to be in color or black and white.
@I speak Jive: https://youtu.be/S3zShjyaTr8?si=Gi9gV-RZEugvTGUb
@Ian Cameron, PhD: Don’t bother getting all fancy, Shakespeare, it’s still Mary Worth snark. I’m gonna hold your arms behind your back and let my pal Sequitur turn his knuckle-dusters loose on ya.
MW:. Whether or not they were invited, it was wise of Estelle and Ed to not attend, thus allowing Wilbur to cut his mental tie between Estelle and Stellan. Hopefully, when he sees Estelle in the hall now, he won’t burst into tears.
I do wonder if Iris and Game Boy were invited.
The humor in Vintage Hi and Lois is boring.
@Poteet: Yeah, this might be my third or fourth time through the collection and I never get tired of it. Unlike, say, Mary Worth, where I get tired before I can get to the last panel in individual strips. Baja Gaijin does help a bit, adding humor where there was never any before.
@Ukulele Ike: I’ve already taken care of my Hi and Lois snark with how the suburb’s darkest secret is that Thirsty fathered the majority of the children because he was considered the biggest stud amongst the housewives and the reason he drinks so much isn’t to forget those glory days but something so sinister that it requires self medication from the advice of a 19th century physician.
Is a random old Hi and Lois humorous? The final word is NO!
@Sequitur: Ah, so Hi being an inconsiderate asshole is hardly anything new whether it’s to his wife or his
stepchildren.It’s been interesting over the years to see the gradual relaxation of standards on the comic pages. Twenty, certainly, but even ten years ago a panel with someone on the toilet would never even gotten close to passing the censors, either syndicate or newspaper. And yet, here we are, with Baldo using his bodily functions as a means to comment on daily affairs. I blame Marvin a bit, but the main force is desperation as newspapers continue to disappear. “By God, If it takes toilet humor from a teen-ager to attract eyeballs, then by God toilet humor we’ll give them!”
@Needless Exposition: Right. Hi and Lois has never been funny, and Hi has always been a dick.
Even Lois half nude is not humorous.
The Hi and Lois kids almost get struck by lightning is not humorous.
@29 Sequitur: Man, that kid is totally forcibly crapping his pants. Maybe he ate that paper wrapped toxic waste from the other thread’s Cuisine.
@34 Needless Exposition: “…while Wilbur gets to milk his goldfish’s death to the point where the udders are bleeding?” Goldfish have udders? I missed that in biology class.
@39 Charterstoned: SNERK! Had you phrased that as a quotation it would have been one of the mashups.
@78 McManx: “Family Circus – Today’s episode: Wilbur Weston, the Early Days.” Then he grew up and grew another nostril.
@96 I speak Jive: on Mary Worth: “Who serves muffins at a funeral reception?” Mary Worth. Duh. It’d be gauche to serve her only other dish, salmon/seafood squares.
@171 Die Rosenkavalieren: Thanks. I made five mashups. Four were about the same quality as the original strip. I’ll be holding a mashup funeral at sea for them laterthread. Who’s bringing the carrot muffins? Who’s bringing the bubble-headed blonde? I hope a condescending blowhard shows up. No one tell the meddling biddy.
@Rube: Comic Book Guy has shitty taste except with the girlfriend who actually cares about him (and not Skinner’s ill tempered hag of a mother).
@Sequitur: I don’t even think a fully nude Lois would be funny.
@Baja Gaijin: Then what’s this goldfish milk I’ve been drinking all these years? Oh, it’s oat milk.
Not cute and not humorous.
@Sequitur: You should be lucky to not look like that troll doll on Full House, Dot.
@192 Sequitur: Uh, you’re telling ME??? [cough]Shadow CsOTWs[cough].
@209 Ukulele Ike: Pray Ian doesn’t employ the “sea cucumber defense” and disgorge his entire digestive tract on you.
@212 Dr. Pill: Thanks!
@216 Dr. Pill: Repressed that memory of a few years ago of Bernice Halper on the toilet for a week? I wish I could.
@203 Cleveland Mocks: As I was reading the comments, I realized some were entertaining enough to be in the strip so I made it so.
Baja! Not seen here is Toby rubbing the inside of Wilbur’s upper leg with her knee.
@Sequitur: Not shown is Ian passing over a courtesy pack of Kleenex.
Late Thread Cuisine: No-Fuss Tuna Dishes. I think they should have made at least a little bit of a fuss. On a side note, I think this is what the kid in Sequitur‘s link ate.
@228 Sequitur: I see Ian giving Wilbur a prostate massage.
mw carefull ian or mary will make it so wilburs dead fish is not the only thing getting a burial at sea now besisdes also by accident maybe wilbur too.luann good if your now making money then you can start paying tori and brad for taking care of shannon for now a whole month or just let them keep her for good now since they practcally raise her themselves
@230 Baja Gaijin:
Leave out the water, canned vegetables and tuna, put the white wine in a glass and you might have something there.
@Baja Gaijin: At least they spiced it up with {checks recipe} onion sauce and dry white wine.
@231 Baja Gaijin:
If there’s one thing Ian knows is how to put a hand up an ass.
@Baja Gaijin: It’s not a fuss to make but whoever is forced into eating this repurposed vomit could, would, and should raise hell about it.
@Sequitur: It’s how he has to make sure Toby doesn’t get called out for passing out with her eyes open during those luncheons. Those ventriloquism classes have really come in handy.
@233 Sequitur: SNERK!
@234 taig: The onion sauce is built into the frozen veggies. It’s only technically “spices it up.”
@236 Needless Exposition: Post inflationary 1981 was a weird time for food.
@Baja Gaijin: Oh, come on, you expect us to fall for this? They just opened a few cans of stuff, splorped it on the English muffin and then did a little post-photograph toning. No-fuss indeed.
@239 Dr. Pill: Now that you mention it, I have an alternative theory: they fed the ingredients to someone who then barfed ’em up on the plate.
@Baja Gaijin: Late thread cuisine- That’s labeled as a Timesaver Main Dish. You could use the time you saved to try to find something you’d actually want to eat.
@241 I speak Jive: Tee hee!
@UncleJeff:
She is a completely static character whose only personality traits are jealousy, laziness and ennui.
But enough about me!
I get that New Nancy isn’t for everyone, or maybe most people. And it’s not great every day. But I do like that Olivia has toned down Gilchrist’s Fritzi into someone who is more than the sum of her chesticular parts.
@Baja Gaijin: In 1981, you could go into the freezer section of a supermarket and find a box of “mixed vegetables in onion sauce.” Imagine! What OTHER wonders did this magical era hold in store for our lucky ancestors?
@Old School Allie Cat: I DO like the new low-key Fritzi. I love her deadpan face, yet how expressive her eyes can be.
Gilchrist’s busty bumpkin cowgirl was a jarring follow-up to Ernie Bushmiller’s svelte siren.
@244 Ukulele Ike: Le Menu frozen dinners.
@Charterstoned: *doubled over laughing*
@Baja Gaijin: Jesus. Tucker Carlson, aka “Little Lord Fishsticks,” has even MORE to answer for when he shows up at the gates of Hell.
@Old School Allie Cat: NANCY just got a new reader if the bird photos keep coming.
@Dr. Pill: I remember that when I first saw CUL DE SAC many years ago, I was annoyed by the long noses on the female Otterloops. Now I love the faces in CUL DE SAC along with everything else. Thank you, Richard Thompson, for this strip and all the rest of your glorious legacy. RIP.
@Baja Gaijin: “Onion-sauce! Onion-sauce!” he remarked jeeringly, and was gone before they could think of a thoroughly satisfactory reply.
@Ukulele Ike: Space Food Sticks.
@251 Peanut Gallery:
Rabbits do love themselves some onion. If you can make an onion sauce and pour it over other veggies, they’d be in bunny heaven. That’s why they’re gonna grab them some mole skin and coerce mole onion sauce out of th’ critter.
@253 Sequitur: I wonder if I’ll ever be able to use this onion/rabbit knowledge?
@254 Baja Gaijin:
Yes. Just be careful of this.
Ian thinks of Wilbur as a wacky neighbor! Delightful! I mean, he’s not wrong, but it’s a bit rich coming from the chinstrap bearded professor with the much younger wife.
Do all of the Charterstone residents think of themselves as the normal one surrounded by colourful eccentrics? I bet they all do. They’re all wrong.
@Ian Cameron, PhD: WOW. *snappy salute and deep curtsy* I surely do hope to see that again on Friday.