Archive: Heathcliff

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Dick Tracy, 7/6/26

This Dick Tracy storyline isn’t just about the seedy, underground world of hard-core video “gamers”; it also introduces the strip’s readership to advanced cybersecurity and network concepts, like virtual private networks, or “VPNs”, a cutting-edge networking technique that was invented in the early 1990s and is only familiar to such tech-savvy users as “people who work office jobs from home” or “people who want to access offshore gambling sites.” Anyway, the big brains over at the FBI have narrowed down the hacker’s location to somewhere in North America, probably, so this case should be wrapped up in no time.

Heathcliff, 7/6/26

I like the fact that both the dogs and the humans are letting us know, each in their own way, that the vision of Heathcliff on a slug-chariot bothers them. Seeing him (I assume) inch forward agonizingly slowly yet standing tall in triumph unsettles the mind across species. You’ve gone too far into off-putting whimsy this time, Heathcliff. Too far!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/1/26

Oh, hey, so it turns out June was so snooty about those buskers last week because she could tell that the lady with the violin wasn’t really playing it and their amp was just pumping out prerecorded music. This could’ve been just another minor irritation for the Morgans except that these evil twins seem to know June and Sarah???? It is honestly funny to think that they know not just June but also her minor child and have travelled all the way to their hometown and think it would’ve been “sweet” to “scam” them (by tricking them into putting money into their little tip bucket even though they aren’t really playing music???), but that’s not, like, their main mission or anything. It would’ve been sweet, but the prospect won’t distract them from their overall goal (tricking other people into putting money into their little tip bucket even though they aren’t really playing music).

B.C., 7/1/26

Pretty sure this is just what shingles is. You’re about to get shingles, Curls!

Heathcliff, 7/1/26

IT’S “HAMKY SACK,” C’MON HEATHCLIFF, I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO SPELL THIS OUT FOR YOU

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Judge Parker, 6/21/26

Look, we know what you want and what you don’t want out of your soap opera comic strips, and what you don’t want is character growth. That sort of thing is how you get the man once known as “Tommy the Tweaker” yammering about his skivvies in a supermarket, where he’s gainfully employed, to Dawn Weston of all people. So, don’t worry, kids, Sophie moved to Norway a year ago but she hasn’t “found herself” or grown as a person at all! Instead she broke up with her boyfriend for reasons she can barely articulate. She’s going to drift back to the United States as dumb as she was when she left, and I think that’s great.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/21/26

Sorry, I’m sure Snuffy loves his son Li’l Tater and his nephew Jughaid who has, through some sequence of events we don’t talk about, come to be his full-time ward, but I refuse to believe that he would ever have a structure on his property, no matter how ramshackle, that has “work” in its name. The very concept is anathema to him!

Heathcliff, 6/21/26

[normally, conversationally, as if the sentence I’m saying is the most natural thing in the world] Butterflies are the emojis of stoke.