Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/9/15
Say what you will about our man Snuffy’s book learnin’, moral fiber, or long-term planning skills, but you have to admire him as a savvy realist. For instance, he’s well aware of the dysfunctional nature of the polity he lives in. He watched those fancy flatlander politicians from the state government cut the ribbon on the project that finally brought plumbing to Hootin’ Holler and thought, “Who’s gonna maintain them pipes? Folks around here? The guv’ner? The revenooers? Don’t want none for my shack, no thanks.”
Gil Thorp, 5/9/15
Looks like True’s awkward flirting is going great! “Why, yes, I have read one of the most beloved novels of the 20th century, one assigned to millions of high school students in their English classes! Mmmm, smell this hamburger, it smells like smug literacy.”
Never mind why Heathcliff’s owner-grandma seems scandalized by cats who aren’t wearing clothes: what’s Heathcliff’s owner-grandpa holding in his hand? Are those … calipers? Going to be working real hard at not thinking about the intersection between cat nudism and calipers for the next couple of days, thanks.
Six Chix, 4/16/15
I genuinely love both the sly expression this woman is wearing — “Oh, you clever capitalists, I see what you’re doing with this and while I don’t approve I can’t help but admire your cunning” — and the advertising slogan “NEW! YUMMY! EAT YOUR CUP!” which honestly should be the structure for the ad campaign for every new product ever introduced by anybody.
Yes, cats have learned to harness the power of the mighty oxen! Things are getting quite serious … indeed.
Funky Winkerbean, 4/16/15
GOD DAMN IT THE CORRECT PLURAL IS “AMAZING MISTERS SPONGE”
Dennis the Menace, 4/9/15
“Hey, Mr. Wilson, you’re a hoarder! A sad old hoarder! You think you can fill the empty hole inside you by getting more stuff, but you can’t and you never will!” Menacing level: extremely high.
I’m pretty sure all the tough guys out there with “THUG LIFE” tattooed across their knuckles or shoulders or whatever would be horrified if they found out that Garfield had gotten the phrase inked onto his fuzzy orange belly. But Heathcliff? Heathcliff’s a tougher breed, and is also less ubiquitous and commercial. I’m going to choose to believe that, after the initial shock, there would be grudging respect for this cartoon within the thug life tattoo community.
Spider-Man has, as is its wont, devolved from a brief bout of superheroic action into petty bickering. At least the bickering is over vaguely interesting philosophical questions this time around! If “superhero”/”ordinary human” is a spectrum and not a binary, how can we truly distinguish between “human altered by radioactive spider bite”, “highly trained assassin/spy who wears a distinctive skin-tight outfit”, and “actress portraying a fake superhero in a movie who took her costume home and was wearing it in public for vaguely erotic marital cosplay purposes”? Do Marvel Comics characters know about DC Comics characters like Superman, and if so do they know them as real or fictional? Are Spider-Man’s pleas for Mary Jane to help prop up his brand his most pathetic whine yet?
Beetle Bailey, 4/9/15
Oh man, I guess we’re gonna get uncomfortable glimpses into the inner sexual life of Beetle Bailey characters all week! “Can you make your computer have sex with me?” Private Blips asks, grinning girlishly. “I want to have sex with a computer!”