Apartment 3-G, 7/1/15
As we continue wander ever deeper into the Apartment 3-G Mists Of Barely Coherent Narrative, we can count on one thing still making sense: that Lu Ann will have no idea how any aspect of the real world works. “Hi, I own a third share of this apartment, and I’m just calling my share ‘the apartment,’ and it’s in the most expensive real estate market in the country, but I’m gonna just walk away from it! Hey, you could give it to charity! Wouldn’t that be extremely useful for everyone involved, if a nonprofit just owned a third of the apartment you lived in, for some reason?”
Hagar the Horrible, 7/1/15
For too long, Hagar the Horrible has soft-pedaled what life in the Viking Age was really all about: the constant threat of being disemboweled.
Mary Worth, 7/1/15
Oh, you didn’t think that all around bad-ass Adam just used a cane as a mobility aid, did you? Nope, that’s a weapons-grade cane, son!
Mark Trail, 7/1/15
“Still growing your hair long?”
“Yes, Mark, I–”
[Mark hangs up phone]
[Mark throws phone into the lake]
Judge Parker, 6/25/15
Well, we all know what happens when a Spencer-Driver negotiates with a rotund man daubing his head with a cloth: the Spencer-Driver gets what they want for a ludicrously low price! Personally, I’m a little sad that anyone who goes by the name of “King Speedy” isn’t in the meth-dealing business. Honestly, I’m not 100% convinced he isn’t, which, assuming everyone is convinced everyone else is speaking in code, could result in some hilarious complications by the end of this transaction.
Apartment 3-G, 6/25/15
I know I haven’t really been keeping you up to date on this, but … Lu Ann has abruptly announced she’s quitting her job and moving away? I don’t know if this is just another A3G vague plot that will go nowhere or this strip starting to unravel itself, but it’s pretty weird that Lu Ann is now talking about selling “the apartment,” since she shares and co-owns the apartment with, like, two other people. Maybe she’ll just be selling her bedroom? I look forward to seeing realtors coming through and pointing out the lovely architectural features of the single room, and glossing over the two angry women standing there staring with crossed arms. This is Manhattan, so probably she’ll barely get a million dollars for it.
Dennis the Menace, 6/25/15
Not sure if Dennis is excited about learning decades’ worth of Wilson secrets or if he just likes the idea of a demon house that can speak via horrifying, unnatural wall-mouths, but either way it’s very unsettling, A+ menacing.
Apartment 3-G, 6/18/15
“There’s more, Tommie.” “OH?!” The Tommie-bot was beginning to disassemble herself for easier storage when it became clear that Lu Ann wished to prolong the interaction, so she hastily reattached her head.
“Actually, this has been a bit slower for us than normal. That’s why we’re hosting and catering an orgy!”
Dennis the Menace, 6/18/15
Little-known fact: when a comic strip’s main character says the name of the strip in the strip, the strip’s universe disappears in a puff of smoke. That’s why Dennis’s parents are so excited. At last, they think, we’re almost free.