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Dick Tracy, 11/29/23

The summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college, I stayed on campus to do an independent study and worked part time at the library in their book repair lab. While I didn’t get to handle rare books like Dick Tracy’s sinister bibliophile/stab maniac X. Libris, I did learn how to handle the various tools of the trade to get more prosaic volumes back on the shelves, including some knives and knife-like implements. Did I become enough of an “expert” in this “work” to neatly stab someone through the ribs, killing them instantly? No, no I did not, and frankly I kind of resent that.

Hi and Lois, 11/29/23

When Winnie-the-Pooh got his head stuck in the honey jar, it was of course of a matter of fairly serious import to Pooh and his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood, although it was obviously quite funny to those of us who read and enjoyed his adventures. The Flagstons seem to occupy an intermediary space, one in which they take on the role of both the observed and the observer, simultaneously laughing at the antics of others while engaging in antics of their own that discomfit them and amuse us. What would our own predicaments look like from an outside vantage point, if our lives were grist for narrative? Would episodes of anxiety and irritation elicit cruel laughter, rather than sympathy? Something to think about, the next time you get your head stuck in a jar of some sort.

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Six Chix, 11/18/23

One of my all-time favorite activities is to bring a book to a restaurant I really like and enjoy a meal by myself. There’s something about the combination of feeling peacefully alone but also in public with others that’s really great. And, much as I treasure holiday meals with my family, there are some years where the stress of travel makes me dreamily imagine a more solitary Thanksgiving. Which is all to say that I hold no ill will against this woman and totally endorse her holiday plans. But ma’am, you have to admit that your behavior is somewhat out of the ordinary! I don’t think telling the restaurant staff that you’re bringing home leftovers in a doggie bag — for your cat! [record scratch] — is going to faze them at all or make them think less of you. Just lean into it!

Shoe, 11/18/23

Nice try, Shoe. You think I’m going to be so hung up on how nonsensical this punchline is that I’m going to be deterred from my mission of making sure everyone remembers that the Shoe characters are birds, and one of the most important things about birds is that they don’t have lips? Well I won’t be deterred, you hear me? I’m mad about it! So’s Roz! Look how mad she is! As well she should be!

Hi and Lois, 11/18/23

November 1: “Ha ha, my Uncle Beetle is in the Army with a whole bunch of crazy characters!”

November 18: “My poor Uncle Beetle is in the Army and subject to constant physical abuse from his superior officers. Sorry to be such a downer, but it’s so disturbing to me that it’s all I can think about.”

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Hi and Lois, 11/15/23

The sun won’t blast off its outer layers, forming a planetary nebula and leaving only a tiny white dwarf behind, for another seven to eight billion years or so, and while that is the unfathomably distant future, it’s not strictly speaking correct to say that Trixie’s best friend will last “forever.” Still, Sunbeam will be around for a lot longer than Suzy here, who even in a best-case scenario will be dead by sometime in the 2110s.

Marvin, 11/15/23

If you had told me in the abstract that Marvin wanted to branch out beyond “Ha ha, Marvin has shat himself and is proud of it” jokes, I would obviously endorse it. But please, do not waste your time and mine with marital misanthropy jokes that are two orders of magnitude too unfunny to make it in The Lockhorns! Better poop than this!

The Phantom, 11/15/23

Yes, The Phantom is still somehow doing the “Death of the Phantom” arc, and no, I’m still not going to catch you up on the details. But I do need to point out that this strip, which has never been shy about tastefully implied nudity, has just discovered the funniest ever use of a word balloon.