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Crankshaft, 10/24/26

Crankshaft, no longer satisfied to merely irritate his neighbors with occasional billowing clouds of smoke during grilling season, is now hoping to more effectively poison them by simply pumping out gasoline fumes for hours on end.

Family Circus, 10/24/26

Wrong, Dolly! Kangaroos are nonhuman animals and feel no sense of patriotism; they can flourish in environments with a wide range of temperatures so long as there are plentiful grasses and shrubs for them to eat and no large carnivores who might prey upon them.

Bizarro, 10/24/26

Most turkeys that Americans will be eating this holiday season will have lived their entire lives inside the factory farm where they will also meet their demise. You might be inside a factory farm right now, li’l poult! Make a break for it! Try to get outside and never look back!

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Hi and Lois, 10/10/26

What really makes this strip, obviously, is Lois in the second panel watching over this scene from inside anxiously, with her arms folded. She wants to make sure Chip is capable of forming appropriate emotional bonds so he doesn’t turn out a broken loser like Thirsty, and also wants to make sure the boys rake the yard properly so their house isn’t a neighborhood eyesore like Thirsty’s.

Crankshaft, 10/10/26

Do they really make pilltainers that are as long as a man’s torso? That’s not a thing, right? Maybe that’s why Crankshaft looks so put off in the last couple panels. The joke in this strip was supposed to be about this comically large pilltainer! I carried it all the way over here! Now you’re telling me the joke is about an app that electrocutes you? This is amateur hour, we gotta get our shit together!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/10/26

“The devil wears crocs, and also walks on tippy-toes, which looks really unnatural but it’s the only way to really convey to the reader that he’s wearing crocs, and we already got most of the way into putting together a strip based on this joke and don’t have time to come up with another one, so I guess we’re just going to draw him like this??!”

Mary Worth, 10/10/26

“No, it’s … not true! I mean, yes, it would be gross if it were true, but it’s not true, therefore it’s … not gross? I gotta wake up and start making a diagram here.”

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Dennis the Menace, 10/5/26

Part of being a sophisticated textual critic such as myself is that you have to be able to distinguish between “something I dislike” and “something that is executed poorly.” So, for instance, you know that on principle I dislike the “Dennis insults his mother’s cooking” Dennis the Menace panels. But if you’re going to do it, having Dennis stare ahead, dead-eyed and drooling, and saying “This tastes like shit, mom, it tastes like food that’s just been lying around until it goes bad” is a pretty good execution.

Dick Tracy, 10/5/26

Big news, everyone! A new Dick Tracy storyline is starting today, and the very first strip is a guy falling down the stairs and dying! Or at least I assume? He actually looks pretty much the same in the air as he does on the ground, so maybe he’s fine and just shaped like that.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/5/26

For too long, the Baby Boomers and retro-hipster Gen Xers of Glenwood have only been able to express their toxic nostalgia through dedication to roots country music. But soon they’ll also be able to enjoy older films that have been largely forgotten by the mainstream cineaste community for presumably good reason, thanks to Mae Mae’s carefully invested movie earnings and/or Glenwood’s rock-bottom real estate prices!

Crankshaft, 10/5/26

“As a matter of fact, some prescription medications, especially generics, are manufactured in China. It’s somewhat more common, however, for the chemical raw materials to be produced in China while the drug formulation happens in India. Just another facet of our globalized era, where different countries with different prevailing labor costs and specific know-how end up specializing in different segments of the supply chain. I know that’s not a ‘punchline’ per se but I thought you might find it interesting!”