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Pickles, 6/5/26

“We’re all gonna die eventually, but sometimes our ability to experience even basic pleasures dies before the rest of us” is a pretty grim thing for kids to read in the comics, so it’s a good thing that not many kids read the comics, I guess.

Heathcliff, 6/5/26

Although you know what legacy strip has a surprisingly strong zoomer fan base? Heathcliff! That’s why it can afford to play around with youth slang like this. Ha ha, the fish is “low-key” terrified, as the kids would say, if they were trapped in a bowl perched atop the head of a creature who was about to devour them.

Hi and Lois, 6/5/26

I’m not going to say that the art in Hi and Lois is “good,” exactly, but the faces are surprisingly expressive given how stylized they are. Like, with Lois today, they really nailed “Well that wasn’t an inappropriate thing to say exactly, but it also forced me to contemplate my teenage son as a sexual being, and I honestly don’t care for it.”

Crankshaft, 6/5/26

“That’s the pocket where I keep my phone. Did you know you can put pictures on your phone now? And also get copies of the pictures of your phone printed out? Truly we live in an age of wonders!”

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Andy Capp, 6/2/26

Look, I don’t pretend to know everything about what life is like in working-class, industrial neighborhoods in Northern English cities. Do people go door-to-door selling prints of the 19th century Romantic artist who revolutionized landscape painting and inspired the Barbizon school? I mean, maybe they do. Who’s to say the yobs and louts who populate this strip don’t appreciate a lovely, bucolic landscape? I’m sitting my ass down and learning.

Crankshaft, 6/2/26

There was some kind of long-ago love triangle involving Lillian and this guy and her now-dead sister that was introduced at some point when I wasn’t reading the strip and frankly I’ve never really caught up on it, but I know a lot of my readers have very strong and negative feelings about the whole thing, so if you fall into that category, I just wanted to bring you the latest update on this gentleman: they’re putting him in a home, or possibly in prison.

Pickles, 6/2/26

“Also, they don’t really enjoy spending time with me!”

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Archie, 5/28/26

I think it’s very funny that Jughead is first forbidden from playing the drums in … his room, I suppose? … and then decides that the next good place to do it is in the living room right next to where his father is trying to read the paper. I don’t like the idea of Jughead as a musician generally — it requires dedication and the motivation to practice your craft, something that I simply don’t think is in line with his character — but I do appreciate that move.

Crankshaft, 5/28/26

Hey, remember last week when I said Crankshaft was going so far up its own narrative ass that it was at risk for tearing the fabric of the Funkyverse apart? Well, it’s happening. It’s happening! Ed’s about to get vaporized by a blast wave of Hawking radiation and I think that’s swell.