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Comics archive! Crankshaft

Monday one-liners

Heathcliff, 10/27/14

After a nightmarish curse left the town’s inhabitants irrevocably transformed, the damned souls are taking hesitant steps towards recognizing one another and reclaiming some part of their lost humanity.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/27/14

Just another day in the teachers’ lounge, laughing it up about the endless parade of genetic defectives that make up Westview’s children!

Crankshaft, 10/27/14

Although 10 years earlier kids in the nearby town of Centerville went on a violent, terrifying rampage when Crankshaft’s family ran out of candy, so maybe Les and his cronies are right to view the local youth with mingled contempt and disgust.

Spider-Man, 10/27/14

Despite his best efforts, Spider-Man will in fact be rescued from his primary antagonist by his secondary antagonist.

Apartment 3-G, 10/27/14

NO MARGO YOU JUST STARTED TALKING OUT LOUD THAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU SAID YOU’RE SAYING YOU WANT TO DO

Lisa got a real memoir, but Cayla will be fine with one of those “graphic novel” thingies the kids like

Funky Winkerbean, 10/13/14

Guys. You guys. To make up for the fact that Les forgot their anniversary last year — which anniversary, apparently, was also their first anniversary — he’s making it up to Cayla by writing a graphic novel about finding a new life and new love! You know, a new one, after his first life/love died. (That part takes up the first 40 pages of the book, probably.) If you squint, you can tell that the title of this masterpiece is The Last Leaf, which definitely doesn’t imply the end of summer’s vibrancy and the coming of a long, cold winter at all.

Crankshaft, 10/13/14

Say what you will about Crankshaft, but as Funkyverse protagonists go he’s not very complicated, emotionally. “Wait, I can’t have this specific thing temporarily? But I want this specific thing! And I’m going to make your life unpleasant by complaining about it!”

Gil Thorp, 10/13/14

Sorry if this is Too Soon, but my first thought when I saw panel one was that Gil was looking at a stylized depiction of an airplane crashing into the Twin Towers, which to me just instinctively made sense. “I do understand, but for now, that’s all I can tell you on that subject. But if you’re interested in talking about the melting point of steel and how burning jet fuel couldn’t possibly have — hello? Hello?”

Funkyverse quickies, Momma longie

Momma, 10/9/14

You guys, today’s Momma illustrates a very important point: when you tell old people about how the Kids Today do things, make sure you explain all the details and don’t assume they can fill in the blanks. Like, if you say “oh, Kids Today like to send each other pictures of themselves when they’re dating,” make sure they know those pictures are on their cell phones, because otherwise you end up with comic setups like “Momma, a cute boy I met today gave me some pictures of himself! Like, actual, physical pictures! Where did he even get them?” Anyway, today’s strip takes a quick turn from “wacky out of touch follies” to “what is even going on here” as Momma … encourages MaryLou to send some other girl’s picture back? Even though the boy has already seen MaryLou? Despite all this, the thing that most unsettles me about this strip is the fact that MaryLou is wearing a baseball hat. Does she usually wear baseball hats? I don’t think she does.

Crankshaft, 10/9/14

Look at that face! Is Crankshaft experiencing shame? Is that even physically possible?

Funky Winkerbean, 10/9/14

“By the way … happy anniversary. I got you some passive aggression!”