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Ha ha, it’s funny because her boss wants her to dress all sexy

Hagar the Horrible, 5/1/12

You know, I’ve been reading Hagar the Horrible for most of my literate life, and like most people, I had always assumed that the recurring strips where Hagar and Lucky Eddie crack wise on a tiny desert island just served as a place for desert-island gags rejected by the New Yorker. It’s only at this moment — as Hagar wistfully thinks about his wife, who’s thousands of miles away, who has no idea where he is, who he’ll probably never see again — that it occurred to me to try to fit these scenes into the larger narrative of the strip. Now that this conceptual shift has taken place, here’s my first question: what happened to the rest of the crew? Did Hagar and Eddie eat them?

Six Chix, 5/1/12

When I first scanned this strip I thought it was some miracle of life nonsense, but seeing the exhausted expression on momma bird and the frankly terrified look on papa bird, my guess is the real point is that spring made these birds horny and so they had some bird-sex and forgot to use birth control. Or should that be … BIRDTH CONTROL?? Because they’re birds, you see! Ha ha! Anyway, long story short, they have a bunch of children they don’t want now.

Spider-Man, 5/1/12

Oh, man, I don’t know why I’m surprised, but MJ’s supposedly funny play is terrible. Unless maybe the quote marks around all the dialogue indicate that the cast is in on the joke about how terrible the play is, and are playing the entire thing for meta-comedic laughs at the meta-awfulness of it all? That sounds like something that would play in Brooklyn rather than on Broadway, and anyway it’s been repeatedly demonstrated that nobody in the Spider-Man newspaper strip is even a tiny bit self-aware, because if they were they would immediately stalk away in disgust.

Mark Trail, 5/1/12

Just wanted to keep you up to date with the Mark Trail action. Today’s action: a bad guy lets loose with a WHAT TH’, which is always awesome. Also, apparently Andy’s kill switch is hard to turn off! Man, look at that slavering maw in panel two! He’s got a taste for human flesh now!

Funky Winkerbean, 5/1/12

“He used to joke about it, but it’s not a joke anymore. It’s completely true! My father can’t feel any human emotion or grasp ordinary, everyday experience unless it’s mediated through a recording device of some kind. In this way, he has become the archetype of a 21st century human being.”

Beetle Bailey, 5/1/12

Hey, remember back in the ’90s when Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC made a big deal about sending General Halftrack to sensitivity training, because of his constant, actionable sexual harassment of his secretary? Well, it didn’t take

226 responses to “Ha ha, it’s funny because her boss wants her to dress all sexy”

  1. Dennis Jimenez
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    6-C – Hey, does the bird have Private Blips’ hair from Beetle Bailey???

  2. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    MW – People have been conditioned to expect things such as dramatic tension, plot arcs, conflict. Mary Worth has embarked on a while new style. Why bother with suspense or irony, or even plot, when you can just have weeks and weeks of everyone celebrating these two ancillary characters reveling in their perfect, unchanging, unquestioned love?

    The closest thing to conflict in the whole arc was the keystone cops “will Gina’s message get to Bobby?” nonsense. All of which was resolved off-panel, so we could focus on Bobby showing up, declaring that he, too, is still madly in love, and proposing by the end of the week.

    For the Masters thesis, calculate the percentage of strips devoted to everyone wallowing in bliss over the end of a plot, and the percentage of strips actually devoted to something happening that isn’t a straight-line development from the premise of the story line. We’ve coasted on Aldomania for far too long!

  3. Señor Tortilla
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    A3G – Either Margo is lying out her rear, or it wasn’t supposed to be drawn that way.

    9CL – Working for McEldowney is the pits.

    Zits – Eek!

  4. Cloudbuster
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Repost from previous thread:

    9CL: Wow. That last time I saw in-story advertising that vulgar, its use was satirical, as in Wayne’s World or Josie and the Pussycats. Then, again, lord help me, I clicked. Only to find that the “blog” is almost entirely self-promotion content, with the occasional break where McE harps on his favorite topic: how horrible any readers who criticize them are, and why should he have to listen to them.

    JP: What? Elope? And miss out on being showered with more riches in the form of wildly extravagant wedding gifts? Does not compute.

    MW: Just putting it down now, because it’s been on my mind. If this plot ends up involving the mafia, consider: 1) It was Gina’s father who saw something more than a decade ago, not Gina. 2) They only put you in the witness protection program if you agree to testify. That ship surely sailed long ago, and movies to the contrary, revenge isn’t cost-effective.

    A3G: Heh, Tommie’s got a “Wow, Margo, you are really full of shit!” look on her face!

    With followup:

    Wow, I keep reading McE’s chickweedcafe blog and the deeper I go into it, the more distasteful I find it. I guess if it’s great if you like to read someone who disdains and talks down to all of humanity. I suppose certain people will read it, and think “Ha ha, what droll, insightful observations. Of course he’s not talking about me for I accompany him as part of the elite that recognizes the foibles of the pathetic mass of beefwits.” He almost certainly means you, of course.

  5. Baka Gaijin
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Damn, this must be a special occasion. It’s not every day Mary Worth wears her ensemble from the “Salmon Square Collection at The Broadway.”

  6. Cloudbuster
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#4): Correction: “how horrible any readers who criticize him are.”

  7. The Grandstander
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    I am actually surprised at how quickly the RangerTomMartinDiscoversTheMarijuanaGrowers story arc has seemed to resolve itself. I mean, it has to be less than a month since RangerTomMartin took the flight over the forest to take pictures. Time never seems to move this quickly in Mark Trail, so maybe that’s something that Elrod has going for him. But probably not.

    Rex Morgan, on the other hand, continues to make glaciers look like they move with NASCAR-like speeds. I mean the lush daughter of Rex’s dead lush patient is still wearing that bathrobe and showing us that delightful hint of full cleavage. I figure this story arc won’t end until the 4th of July, and I’ll take the “over” on that if you care to bet me.

  8. Baka Gaijin
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    To General Halftrack, a string bikini bottom has too high a neckline. Masher!

  9. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    9CL: The folks at Mary Worth never had to advertise in their strip in order to pay their bills. @Cloudbuster (#4): You’re right, it’s almost unspeakably vulgar.

    As for your comment on JP: By claiming that they’re thinking of eloping, they’re setting themselves up to have someone give them their entire wedding ceremony and reception. They’re thinking ahead!

  10. nescio
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    MT: Dress loudly and carry a big stick. And bring a big dog.

  11. ArchieNemesis
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    What we don’t see in Mary Worth is that Gina and Bobby are nude from the waist down. By Friday, everybody will be totally naked, and the transformation into Love Is will be complete.

  12. Esther Blodgett
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    MT: Faster, St. Bernard! Kill! Kill!

    FW: “By the way, have you noticed I’m missing an arm? As you can see by my pinned-up sleeve, I’m missing an arm. Right here. Sometimes I sit for hours watching old footage my dad took of me before I only had one arm.”

  13. Fashion Police
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    We are utterly repelled by Miss Buxley’s clown costume dress. Moreso because she is normally quite tasteful. Perhaps she is trying to put one over on her lecherous old goat of a boss, but she must have plenty of nerve to go outside in that thing.

  14. pugfuggly
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Six Chix Hmm…I read this one more as a confession of adultery than a simple unwanted pregnancy, but mostly I just want to know where a bird would go that would require a tie but no pants.

    ASM Heh heh, you know what really makes a scene like this? A silly scarf flapping in the wind. MORE WIND GUYS, IT’S NOT FUNNY ENOUGH YET!!!

  15. pugfuggly
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @nescio (#10):

    kudos, that is awesome.

  16. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    There’s sexy — and there’s “Apartment 3-G sexy”! (Really, a Peter Pan collar? That’s so Margo…)

  17. Fashion Police
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#13):
    However, it would be an improvement on Miss Abigail Thompson’s wardrobe, even after the makeover, and even though pink is most decidedly not her color.

  18. bunivasal
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to note that all three men in panel 3 of Mark Trail, with their various outdoorsy outfits and blue-highlit black hair, could all be Mark himself. He even wore that khaki outfit in the last storyline. Suddenly I begin to doubt the diagnosis of autism. Oh no, he pursues and is pursued by doppelgangers, degenerate and idealized versions of himself as forest id, forest ego, and forest superego.

    Mark isn’t autistic. He’s a paranoid-schizophrenic in an early expressionist German novel.

  19. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#9):

    Being gifted the ceremony and reception is tres bougeouis, more appropriate for French-Canadian FOOBs. As full-blooded 1%ers, Randy and April are holding out for a “free everything, forever!” card to use for the duration of the marriage, given by a mysterious Saudi benefactor who is in no way paying a former courtesan for her silence and a current judge for his … continued incompetence.

  20. Bill Peschel
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    FW: “Of course. I should have known. Movie crews usually consist of a cameraman, a sound guy with boom mike, a lighting assistant and the producer. Somehow, I mistook your dad for Josh Whedon filming ‘The Avengers.’ Silly me.”

    Meanwhile, my newspaper compatriot Chris Mautner interviewed Tom Batiuk about the FW arc.

  21. Hairhead
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Okay, Evans, you’re getting even sicker! Look, just google “child” “tumble dryer” and “death”. Mmmmkay? Horrified now? If Shannon is dead, Evans has taken his strip from teen-non-serious-occasionally-amusing to Tom Batiuk territory (except with violence). If Shannon ISN’T dead or seriously hurt, Evans, the skeezy fuck, is virtually advocating this dangerous practice for children.

    But he couldn’t do this without the squick.

    If Shannon is indeed dead or seriously hurt, that it happened while Toni and B-wad were just about to possibly maybe potentially have sex, associates sex with evilness and, literally, death. And how fucking sick is that?

  22. Windier E. Megatons
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    I just read that old CNN story. How’d you like to be the person at the Army who had to take the call from CNN to talk about Beetle Bailey?

  23. Esther Blodgett
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers spout BS about cool cars they used to own instead of admitting they were Ford Pinto and AMC Pacer guys all the way.

  24. A New Day
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    From the article that Josh directs us to:

    “Thats all hes ever done just looked at her, says strip creator Mort Walker. Never touched her or pushed her around or anything like that.”

    Seriously? I know Walker is saying that his creation doesn’t do these things, but I’m amazed at the amazingly low standards he has in mind, as he breezily crosses the rhetorical threshold from harassment to ever more egregious forms of physical violence. I suppose this is the strip where the main character (Beetle) is repeatedly beaten to a pulp with no negative consequences for the perpetrator (Sarge) but still – damn.

  25. Charles Kuffner
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one hearing Fozzie Bear’s voice whenever Hardy Laurel speaks in “Spiderman”? Wokka wokka wokka!

  26. Illustrator Steve
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    MT – HOW long now has it been since those UPS guys arrived and have been there raiding Mark’s secret patch of pot plants? Must have been some time now seeing how there’s ANOTHER thick layer of SNOW covering those poor pot plants AGAIN!
    Could it be that the background is intentionally drawn in a time-laps style each day to depict summer one day and winter the next and then repeat it over and over again? Yep, THAT’S gotta be it.
    If THAT’S the case, Cherry and her pancakes will both be pretty stale and crusty when Mark, Andy and ranger Tomartin arrive finally for dinner. I don’t even want to think about what kind of shape Doc and Rusty will be in by then. Not to mention that old fishing dock that needed repair!

  27. wossname
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#Y89): The PV with Nathan sitting on the log drawing turtles is the most recent one, I’m pretty sure. I seem to recall people snarking on it two days ago.

  28. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Hairhead (#21):

    I’m assuming that Shannon is in the laundry room, just not inside the dryer. And she didn’t hear Toni and Brad screaming and smashing down walls and sawing up the floor because the dryer was running. And Brad didn’t see her when he checked every room of the house because she was hiding under a blanket. And noone thought to check the accessible parts of the house a second time because they were too busy knocking down walls in case she had crawled into them.

  29. Fashion Police
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    It may be Spring, but a white dress at an engagement party just won’t do.

  30. Santa Royale With Cheese
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Okay Josh, explain why 9CL is giving air time on this site anymore when it has clearly ventured into Mallard Fillmore territory. Why, it seems like only yesterday when you wrote,

    So here’s a picture of somebody writing a letter. About a radio show. And there’s a footnote – with a URL! Why not just put up a sign that says, “I got nothin’ – go someplace else”?

    Okay, similar yet different. But SRSLY, we’re done giving the time of day to this train wreck, right? Right…?

  31. Baka Gaijin
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    The Loathsome Threesome, having set down their sledgehammers and circular saws, walk into the laundry room to see Shannon watching the clothes tumble in the dryer. Sad commentary on the state of child care in Luannville, sadder commentary on the state of cable television in America.

  32. Faoladh
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Hagar wishes that his beloved wife were trapped on a desert island with him instead of Lucky Eddie. I don’t even want to touch that one, it’s so easy.

  33. Doctor Handsome
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    I didn’t realize dogs attacked by shoving. Good thing a light push is all it takes to make this dude hurl his gun across the forest and collapse to the ground, utterly defeated.

  34. BeckoningChasm
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Looking at the punctuation, I suspect that marijuana-grower’s brain has been scrambled by weed, because everyone knows you say “What th–” with the implied “e Hell!” cut off by the dashes. Or you might say, “What th–OOF!” Only a dope-addled hippie would actually say “What th!”

  35. Calico
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Dammit, my inner clock is all mixed up now because I saw Buxley on a Tuesday.

    Blondie – well, at least he didn’t go all bulemic on us. BTW, Dag, tofu is delicious if prepared correctly, especially the silken kind. Yum.

    MT has gone all Tarantino on us today. I like it.

    SlyFox-gotta love inflation.

    3G – Tommie has a DtM look (after he’s been punished for some half-assed menace meddle)

  36. Cooler King
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    MT: I think it’s safe to assume that a near-mauling from Andy was enough to put “Drug Guy” on the straight and narrow, based on the appearance of a very pleased park ranger conscience currently manifesting on his shoulder, Looney Toons style.

  37. Horace Broon
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Wow, Margo’s opinion of her roommates has seldom been clearer. “You were there, Tommie! It was a kiss on the cheek! If I keep saying that, then that’s what you’ll remember seeing!”

    Really, Margo, this isn’t LuAnn you’re talking to.

    Blondie: Carnivore propaganda.

    (I don’t insist everyone has to like tofu. But this is Dagwood Bumstead. He’ll eat anything, but turns his nose up at soy protein?)

    MW: Isn’t it luckier not to lose the love of your life in the first place? And I think most people who do lose “the love of their life” at the age of thirteen move the hell on! So yeah, “We’re lucky we’re equally emotionally stunted!”

  38. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    Hardy Har Har Laurel… Brooklyn’s next comedy sensation.

  39. Nekrotzar
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    so there’s this ridiculous looking guy acting like a ham and making quips that he, and no one else, considers funny. You know what? This really does sound like a job for SpiderMan.

  40. John S
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    The more I think about it, the angrier I get at those lazy-ass birds! They just have to watch those chicks for, at MOST, three months and then they abandon them and fly south when it gets too cold.

  41. Spyglass
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Now I’m wondering what level of quotation-mark nesting it would take to signal that something is not in the script, but still being said in-character. I wonder if the first panel should be all, “‘Stupid joke!’” “‘Stupid riposte!’”, and the second panel should be all “In-character stupid thing that’s not in the script!”, and the final panel should just be them yelling at each other, quotation-mark-free since they are revealing their true unadorned stupid selves. I hate myself for how much time I’ve spent thinking about this.

  42. bbofun
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#30): The difference between Mallard and 9CL is this:

    Mallard divides us into political camps, leaving behind discussion of the comic and it’s creator to delve into rants about our personal political beliefs, turning brother against brother.

    EVERYBODY hates 9CL.

    9CL j

  43. Droopy Says
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Mock Trail: Sideburned badguy didn’t even have his hair mussed by the “attack,” much less get chewed and bloodied by Dogzilla.

    Luann: Shannon is in the laundry room, watching the clothes dryer? And she didn’t even peek at the racket made by the Three Stools? That’s the dumbest explanation I ever heard, so it’s probably right.

  44. The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Will the General choose the dress that costs $50, or the one that costs $DJ? Is that code for something? Is he paying for these clothes himself? Is this all an elaborate scheme to reallocate military funding to slut up Miss Buxley? Why do I have some many questions about a Beetle Bailey strip? I demand an investigation!

  45. Terryfic
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#4): Is this guy for real? I guess that big glass of red wine supposed to say “Hey look at me – I’m sophisticated!” I had to laugh at the sketch of “Edie Ernst, USO Singer – Allied Spy” with the dog nose, like it belongs in Pluggers. Also, the way he plays in Photoshop messing around with gradations and the airbrush tool… such amateurish dreck. It always disturbs me when he uses gradations on his “artwork” to shade legs and I finally have to say something about it. It reminds me of the early days of Illustrator and Photoshop when people didn’t really know what they were doing with the tools.

  46. bbofun
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    Sheesh. Preview is your friend.

    Oh, and I know not everyone HATES 9CL- but we all dislike it, right?

  47. Marc
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#37): Remember, according to Mary worth, the past is how you remember it. So if Margo says it was only a peck on the cheek, well it must be so.

  48. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    GT “I throw underhand.”

    Hmmm… that must be some sort of sexual innuendo. Probably meaning, “I don’t use contraception.” Careful, young lady, that’s how you messed up the first time.

    MW Lucky, lucky, lucky! Tomorrow, Gina and Bobby tell Mary that they are lucky that Mary Worth made all this happen! And Mary says it was lucky that she was in the Diner that day!

  49. lorne
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Not to get too ornithological about Six Chix, but only male robins have red breasts.
    So I’m guessing those are donor eggs those two bird-dudes are getting sentimental about.

  50. Doctor Handsome
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    “If I’ve got to die of exposure on a sun-baked rock as far from civilization as any human has ever been, I just wish I could take my hateful wife with me. That’d teach her to hassle me all the time about luxury real estate, the bitch.”

  51. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Narc Trail – The well-groomed drug-grower has a look of hurt confusion on his face. I’m guessing his name is Andy too.

  52. terrapin
    May 1st, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    6 chix: I’m not a hunter. I have absolutely nothing against hunting but I realized a long time ago that I just don’t have what it takes to shoot animals. That being said, I think I could blow those two birds to heck without thinking twice.

    MT: So Marijuana grower gets a head thumping and drug guy gets nearly mauled by a heroic, snarling Andy. Let this be a lesson to all you youngsters out there. Why do you think they call it ‘dope’?

  53. Marc
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    9CL- Brooke McEldowney= Giant Fucking Douchebag. I hate myself for going to that blog and giving the pretentious dickweed the web hit.

    Mark Trail- That UPS fellow is about to get his trachea torn out by that dog fellow.

    Funky- I can see how your dad could possibly not recognize you Becky. It’s not like you have any defining physical charactaristics that blatantly set you apart from everyone else.

    Luann- Uh oh, Brad is getting cranky. He hasn’t had his milk yet and it’s getting past his bed time.

    Mary Worth- The special announcement is that Bobby lost all of his meager soccer earnings in a ponzi scheme. Gina resorted to prostitution to pay the bills but failed because nobody on planet earth would pay or even be payed to bang a chick whose head looksl ike a horse’s ass. So this party is nothing more than an opportunity for the star crossed lovers to barracade everyone inside and rob them blind at gun point.

  54. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    CS Damn! Is there no lethal dose of Advil?

  55. Pozzo
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    MT: Rusty better start sleeping with one eye open. I’m just saying.

  56. erdmann
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Surely the hands-down winner of this week’s “Stuff No Human Has Ever Said Or Ever Will Say” Award goes to that guy in the first panel of 9CW (No, I don’t know his name, nor do I care). Second place: Bobby in MW.

    JP: This is the second day without breasts. The world no longer makes sense to me.

  57. erdmann
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Surely the hands-down winner of this week’s “Stuff No Human Has Ever Said Or Ever Will Say” Award IS that guy in the first panel of 9CW (No, I don’t know his name, nor do I care). Second place: Bobby in MW.

    Note to self: Edit before you post, darn it!

  58. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#43):

    Thing is, last week’s strip made it a point to emphasize, via her body language and Brad’s reaction, just how loudly Toni was shouting: http://www.chron.com/entertainment/comics-games/comic/Luann/22947/2012-04-25.php

    And, it was clarified that Brad had checked every room. And, if she isn’t outside, then who left the door open during a rainstorm?

    I’m not clear if this is all supposed to be just wacky hijinks or if a deeper point is being made. A good author would take the prior week plot (B-Wad and Toni encourage and reward Shannon for biting an adult) and this plot (B-Wad and Toni are idiots who break up the house instead of rationally searching for the girl), and make a point that they are not fit parents. But I suspect it is just wacky hijinks, with the punch line being Momma’s DG’s anger when she sees that the house has been torn up.

  59. Sequitur
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Does this mean “Momma” is cute?!

  60. DAS
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @BeckoningChasm (#34): my 6.75 year old daughter says “what th” so she can be (in her mind) risque without having to be rebuked for saying “what the hell” or worse.

    Maybe Mark Trail is really a 6-7 year old boy, and what we are seeing is his fantasy life?

  61. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    MT-”Andy, don’t. Remember the last pothead you ate. You got so high you didn’t come down for a week.”

    A3G-”Thatwas a kiss on the cheek? We need a new artist. It looked like you were examining her tonsils.”

    BB-”After here we will go to the lingerie store and you better try on the really skimpy stuff.”

  62. Doctor Handsome
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Only a hopeless romantic would get emotionally attached to these eggs, given the high probability of losing them all to predators or other environmental dangers. Spring!

  63. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Hairhead (#21), @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#28): Relax, Shannon’s fine. The randy little perv is riding B-Wad’s washer/dryer like a bucking bronc, screaming “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” (I’d feel badly about writing that if Shannon weren’t consistently drawn to look like a 40-year-old midget!)

  64. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @erdmann (#56):

    Two days without breasts in Judge Parker (to be fair, hovever, there are two boobs in today’s strip).

    Really, the tits are the only reason to read the comic in the first place. If they keep running art like today’s, pretty soon the strip’s finest points will be nothing but a mammary.

  65. Shrug
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#23):

    Never had a Ford Pinto, but this self-described Plugger has owned three Rambler/AMC autos, the last one finally giving up the ghost in 2003. (Inherited it from my even more Pluggerish Mother, almost literally the little old lady who only drove it once a week.)

  66. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#63):

    That’s it! Shannon has run off to smoke Marlboros under the awning with Widdle Sawa from RMMD, and to commiserate about whether the are going to be able to retire in 10 years the way they had planned when they took their jobs!

    Either that, or she is having sex with the man who plays the bastard in the current GT plot line.

  67. Tom the Sailor Man
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    MW – Gina borrows a mansion and wears a white cocktail dress with a fancy necklace and matching earrings to make this “important announcement”.
    You’d think she’d have done something with her hair besides the same freakin’ ponytail she’s had since she was twelve.

  68. Calico
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#46):
    I generally don’t read this pseudo-baroque mess, but I love everyone’s comments on 9CL all the same.
    I did see the panel where Solange bit the shit out of Edda’s (?) hand, though-if she’s pregnant, I hope the baby doesn’t get Toxoplasmosis!
    What a weird “Bande Dessinée …

  69. Sparkle Plenty
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    MT: Ooh, a great scene. Andy, the only believable character in the strip, finally gets to attack somebody.

  70. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    FW “It’s always been his job to film whatever school activities my family is involved in.”

    Did Becky lose her arm at a school activity? Maybe her dad has that on film.

  71. Calico
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#63):
    You know what I’d like to see? A battle of the obnoxious between Shannon whateverherlastnameis and Widdle Sarah Morgan.

  72. Droopy Says
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#58): Yeah. This whole Luann plot makes less sense than usual, which I suppose is an achievement of sorts. I thought they’d find Shannn at a neighbors’ house, conning the adults into thinking making the adults realize that Piggyface and Tonibaloni are a couple of negligent jerks. Suddenly, TJ, without even a week’s spineless argument from B-wad while TJ concocts another moronic scheme.

  73. Calico
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#70):
    Becky lost her arm putting up endless prom posters. It finally fell off from lack of bloodflow.
    (Seriously, it was a car crash)

  74. Fats Pinto
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Good boy, Andy… that’s enough, fellow! I don’t want to spend hours cleaning that hippie’s Brylcreem out of your claws.”

  75. Doctor Handsome
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    I refuse to recognize any Funky Winkerbean characters if I don’t see them through a rifle scope.

  76. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#73): Becky lost her arm putting up endless prom posters.

    Worst paper cut on record!

  77. DAS
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    FW: I guess I was hung up on the image of a whole film crew (and the expression on Becky’s co-worker’s face, that was not the expression someone typically has when they are exaggerating for effect), but when I read FW, my first interpretation was that it was Becky’s father was actually hired by his extended family, the town council or whomever to film all school events involving his family. Somehow it didn’t occur to me that the word “job” was not to be taken literally.

    Anyway, if Becky’s father is always filming something or other, how come Becky’s coworker can’t remember who he is? And why did I just think that hard about FW?

  78. Hogenmogen
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Not in the script? It has to be in the script. I said it with QUOTES around it!

    And Elton John looks on approvingly.

  79. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft-I’m hoping that you will take the entire bottle and overdose on the aspirin.

    Six Chix-How do you want your eggs?

    MW-Not even Mary can suppress the nausea she feels over how sickeningly sweet this is.

    Luann-She’s hidden herself in the dryer. We need to take it apart.

  80. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    FW – If you think Becky looks ridiculous now with the pinned-up sleeve, you should have seen her before the time jump, when she couldn’t even afford the one prosthetic and had to pin up both sleeves. (She also always had a bandage around her mouth from sticking herself with the safety pin when she tried to fasten it using her teeth!)

  81. Charterstoned
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    MT – That first panel is totally awesome. And with the green outlining of the pine tree and surrounding vegetation, it looks sort of like snow in the mountains. It reminds me of a Christmas card. Well, all except for the gun flying and the dog about to rip the guy’s throat with his sharp teeth. Other than that, though.

  82. Hogenmogen
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#37): Yah, I agree. Dagwood is the guy who keeps coming up with ideas like pepperoni flavored ice cream.

  83. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    FW-Dad videotaped me having sex for the first time.

    MT-”Damn it, Mark, let me eat this guy. You know how much I hate pot heads with their easy going attitudes.”

  84. Calico
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#82):
    On Top Chef Canada Season two, I saw a chef make duck ice cream. I kid you not. Mark McEwan loved it.
    *urp, no thanks*

  85. Doctor Handsome
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    This yammering jagwagon’s ad-lib doesn’t even make any damn sense. He’s just saying a bunch of words in a vaguely wisecrack-y cadence. “Your hand? Hold it over your heart, and pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of My Penis! That was gold, right?! Improv!”

  86. UncleJeff
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Margo, dear…it wasn’t the ‘peck on the cheek’ that angered Nola. It was her hand in her husband’s fly.

  87. Danel
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Hagar: Oh, wow. Your suggestion really blows my mind: the idea that the strip is actually a single storyline – the epic tale of the Viking Hagar, and his downfall – but taking place out of chronological order. The awful gags about his illiteracy and boozing ways suddenly seem far more poignant when we realise that in truth we already know Hagar’s inevitable fate – a slow and lonely death upon this blasted sandbar.

  88. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    A3G-That was a kiss on the cheek? I wonder how this guy would draw a blowjob?

  89. pugfuggly
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#88):

    Well, since oral sex happens below the waist, I imagine it would be depicted only by a look of pleasure of the receiver’s face.

    Keep that in mind the next time anyone in A3G smiles.

  90. CanuckDownSouth
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#84): duck fat or duck meat? The former sounds potentially yummy*, the latter reaching Japanese-level ice cream weirdness. (Ages ago, pics of ice cream flavours from a Japanese trade show made the rounds of the internets – the squid one was unforgettable.)

    * and has probably been made at the 300-flavour shop in Coquitlam, BC :) It would surely be better than the “salmon” one which had a distinct chocolate note [the only sample where I didn't finish the taste-spoon's worth]

  91. Doctor Handsome
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    If that dress isn’t sexy enough, why is Halftrack clearly taking great pains to conceal an erection? Also, don’t you hate it when your jerk boss won’t let you skip work to buy dresses?

  92. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Hilarious comment about how you never see the characters below the waist, so for all we know they are drawing a blowjob in every strip

    Ah, preview. It’s like a window into the immediate past, between when you started writing your comment and when other, quicker wits beat you to it.

  93. Government Cheese
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    MW: You’d think Gina would have the money to get a new a hairdo and not use the scrunchie.

    BB: To make it even more suggestive, they should draw beads of sweat on Halftrack’s head.

  94. Hogenmogen
    May 1st, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Hagar’s tiny house has existed in barren plains, atop huge mountains, on the side of a cliff. It has been snowed in, flooded and hit by tornadoes. And yes, it has also appeared at the side of a lake or ocean.

    Sometimes I have to wonder if the entire Hagar strip is not a journey through the fractured mind of a 21st century man. At times, Hagar feels trapped, as in a dungeon. At other times, he is lost and alone, on a desert island. He bravely faces his hordes of angry enemies, though his back is to a cliff and he is grossly outnumbered. He imagines a friend, Lucky Eddie. Eddie is the ever-present ghost of Hagar’s innocent childhood. Hagar fights to protect his childhood innocence, but alas, in his world of violence, it is a lost cause. When alone against a mob of 50 knights, Hagar has turned into a one-man killing machine. Now Eddie has been too far from home, faced and escaped from too much danger and seen too many horrific acts to ever let Hagar come back to his simple world of childhood pleasures. He both hates and yet pines for Eddie, and his unattainable peace.

  95. Mibbitmaker
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    FW: Wasn’t that Becky’s mom who tried to close down the comic book store? Now she wants to bar a gay couple from the prom. She’s Batiuk’s go-to reactionary.

    Lio: AREN’T THEY SMALL ENOUGH ALREADY???

    Marm: Throw him Happy Fun Ball!

    DT: “Used to be the mole at FoxNews.”

    S-M: Careful, unfunny comedy guy with the fire hairdo — jealous, possessive husband in vicinity… and in spider suit!

    FC: Damn that they abolished the month of N !

    9CL: Everybody, now:
    ..ESPECIALLY THIS ONE!

  96. Hogenmogen
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    I agree with General Halftrack. That is an ugly dress. What’s that style called? Fuschia with a Bozo collar?

  97. Hogenmogen
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Mary Winkerbean: Our special announcement is that Bobby and I both have inoperable cancer CANCER CANCER!

  98. Danel
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Appalling Spider-Man: It may not seem obvious yet, but long-term fans of the webslinger now that this story can only be another tale of the monstrous alien symbiotes – cleverly smuggled into the strip in the guise of this fellow’s animate scarf.

    Mark Trail: The rest of the week will show the tragic conclusion, as Mark is left with no choice but to slowly and painfully beat the now-savage Andy to death with that stick.

    Beetle Bailey isn’t all it appears to be – the seamstress’s confusion stems from the fact that until panel 2 she genuinely believed the dashing older gentleman in military garb was a high-paid fashion consultant, and was considering retaining his services herself. Cut for the sake of a cheap gag is the earlier events, which displayed the true pathos: Halftrack, hated husband and lazy general, possesses a true eye for fashion, offering sartorial tips of such insight as to reveal where his true calling lies. The sexist and patriarchal society which forced this brilliant man into a military career for which he was entirely unsuited has much to answer for – truly one to put in the file of this strip’s vicious critiques of the damage done to men by images of masculinity along with its longstanding and heartbreaking chronicles of the love-that-dare-not-be between Beetle and Sarge.

  99. teenchy
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#65): Oh crap, I once owned a Studebaker. Does that make me a Plugger?

  100. Hogenmogen
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    BB: Can’t possibly buy dresses on lunch hour or after work or from that crazy interweb thing. Must trollop in front of my direct supervisor who is probably drunk right now. I trust him as a fashion advisor, as he has worn the same standard-issue outfit for 50 years.

    And he has five fingers on one hand but three on the other.

  101. Hogenmogen
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    MT Panel 2: Where did that collar come from? WHAT TH’!

  102. Dennis Jimenez
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    MT – OK – I’m having a hard time keeping the uniforms straight – UPS driver – USFWS Officer – FedEX driver – USMC boot – Lost Forest Pot Grower’s Union – US Coast Guard boot – WHAT TH’! How am I to make any sense out’a this strip….

  103. This Guy
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    GA: How long will Scancarelli’s vicious anti-feline screed continue? Where’s the outrage over this open bigotry in the comics pages?

    Luann: “We can’t waste any more time”? What, is it a 20-minute trek to the laundry room?

    RMMD: And speaking of wasting time, Wilson, why are you wasting our time by NOT showing Sexy, Drunken, Half-Naked Iris? Huh? Why?

  104. hatgirlstargazer
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    I would assume Hagar and Eddie were marooned when the rest of the crew mutinied and took the ship.

  105. commodorejohn
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Okay, Josh, go ahead and just give yourself COTW right now for that Funky Winkerbean crack. That one’s going up on the wall in my inevitable backwoods Unabomber shack.

    A&J – This was always my problem with small talk.

    DT – Wait, I thought Mole was working for an orphanage? Yessir, this character roster isn’t going to be confusing at all.

    GT – Man, she achieves almost June levels of iciness.

    HOTC – Holy crap, this is…what, only the fourth adult to actually appear on-panel in Heart of the City? Lucky break, mister.

    JP – Mother of God, Comics Kingdom, what are you doing to these poor image files?

    Luann – what. the. shit.

    MT – Oh, yes. Again Mark makes with the primitive club for his only weapon! In all the eons of weapons development, he has not found one tool that speaks so simply and purely to his urge to whack bad hairy men as the cudgel; not even the ancient spear serves him so truly!

    MW – “You’re a lucky guy, Bobby. Nice life you’ve got here. Be a shame if something happened to it.”

    SM – Can we just nuke the theater? Please?

  106. Shrug
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#90):

    My favorite ice cream flavor is Listerine Spam Ripple Crunch.

    It’s hard to find.

  107. Gringo
    May 1st, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    Wunky Finkerbean: “Yeah, my dad’s job is to film school activities. I’d lend a hand, but, ah … you know.”

    LOLann: Can this group just be all blocked up in that wall, a la The Cask of Amontillado? At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that Shannon has apparently suffocated in the dryer.

  108. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#66): You mean “Jaxon Bastich”? (I know his last name because I peeked at the birth certificate. Also, he was born in Kenya…)

  109. Rich
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    That sounds like something that would play in Brooklyn rather than on Broadway…

    I beg your pardon? As a native Brooklynite I take that as an insult. How dare you.

  110. Cloudbuster
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Shannon’s limp, battered, toasty-warm, fresh-scented, cling-free corpse is found inside the dryer. And there was much rejoicing.

  111. kingklash
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    Poor Andy. Once they put him through the Marmaduke Obedience School, it was only a matter of time before the post hypnotic conditioning kicked in.

  112. Jay
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    Dang, that’s some Marmaduke-level slavering!

  113. SquirrelGM
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Oddly enough, MJ’s “Curb your Enthusiasm” audition ended in exactly the same way.

  114. Jay
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @111: HIVEMIND!

  115. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    BB-You wouldn’t believe what I had to do to keep him from bringing a camera with him.

  116. word-doctor
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    MG&G: My friend’s Freddy/He wears an Afro/He eats frankfurters and French Friiiieeezzz.

    Brought to you by the Letter F.

  117. TheDiva
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    While Tom Batiuk is spending all his free time talking to anyone who will listen about his Very Serious and Controversial Gay Prom Couple Arc, Six Chix beats him to the punch by quietly introducing the first same-sex bird couple to be featured on the comics page.

  118. kkarenb
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft – Generally, I am not in favor of fatal gastrointestinal bleeding, but with Crankshaft I’ll make an exception.
    Honestly, doesn’t Batiuk do any research at all? Is he devoid of common sense or knowledge of things a grade school student should know? This reminds me of the Funky W. strip that had the crowd drying off the racers with blowdryers in the rain.

  119. Baka Gaijin
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#106): Listerine Spam Ripple Crunch was Flavor of the Month at Hawaiian Baskin-Robbins for July 2004. [*]

  120. Ringo Beaumont III
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    What’s the reasoning behind the marginal pull-back in the second panel of “Hagar”? The ‘joke,’ such as it is, might have made a bit more sense if, in the first panel, we just saw Hagar and Lucky sitting under a tree, with Hagar wishing Helga was there, too…and THEN we pulled back for the reveal–that they’re actually on a desert island. HA HA! Hilarity ensues! Cannibalism follows! Am I right, or am I right?

  121. Arabella
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Luann: This is just beyond stupid. I still think Shannon went back to Weenie World to finish the job on Ann Eiffel. After all, Brad and Toni were so pleased that she had bitten her. Evil Ann will save the day by bringing Shannon safely home. (after calling child protective services)

  122. tallyHO
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Funny Pages…
    Even Snuffy Smif didn’t display a tongue hanging out of a character’s mouf.
    This makes two days in a row!

    HAGAR There are days when I expect that strip to just start promoting men’s slacks. Every time Hagar goes pillaging, he is either solo or with Lucky Eddie. Is Eddie lucky because he is Hagar’s Right Hand Barbarian? Is he lucky because the loot is split 50/50?
    Surely, Lucky is a hard worker. Pillaging must be hard, difficult and time consuming. True, to a viking, there are probably many rewards to be had by making that career choice. But, there hasn’t been extra barbarians shown under the employment of Hagar since when….the last time a viking rowing ship was shown?

    If it is any salve for the distressed, just think of Hagar as a buddy comic strip featuring two pals who pillage.

    Popeye: I still don’t understand why they redesigned Olive’s father, Castor Oyl.

    Mark Trail: Don’t get me started on the efficiency of the Rabid Dog of Justice against a gun wielding, desperate UPS worker.

    Mary Worth: It must be Spring in NYC that is causing the strips pacing to quicken. Amazingly, there’s still nothing happening. I truly thought it would take a week to get to this scene of the party.

    Apt. 3G.:: So, who you gonna believe? Margo or your lyin’ eyes?
    Margo For The Win!

    ”a collection of comics/strips focused on crying”–I didn’t bother reading the reason why the package was put together. The interface/reader is horribly clumsy so it took me a while to figure it out. There’s some comics in there with which you all are quite familiar. The The Dennis the Menace one…sheesh. A flustered Mr. Wilson is tough enough (the dude’s unflappable, right?) but this is like Calvin and Hobbes territory with a bit of sentimentality thrown into it for the oddity.*

    Don’t bother reading it if it will bum you out. I guess there are some in there which could be ridiculed. But, it ain’t a collection of happy thoughts.

    *the ironic aspect of it all is the DtM strip outlived its original creator, Ketchum. In fact, the characters could “live” for decades to come. It is comics, and, it is a legacy comic, to boot.

  123. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    MT-Andy that is Ranger Tom Martin you’re attacking. The pot grower is behind you. It is easy enough to make the mistake since they both look alike and dress alike.

  124. A Woman of a Certain Age
    May 1st, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#99): If you’re brave enough to come out as a former Studebaker owner, then I should probably confess that I once drove a ’59 DeSoto.

    I think it makes an occasional guest appearance in Shoe, usually shown in the repair shop.

  125. seismic-2
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#65), @teenchy (#99): I owned both a Ford Pinto and a Studebaker Lark. I’m a Plugger’s Plugger.

  126. seismic-2
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Luann: If Shannon is indeed Toni and Dirk’s daughter, and if Dirk has now kidnapped her in a custody dispute, then I think she’s in fact better off going away with him than she would be if she were left to be raised by this gang of idiots. Can these three go look for her inside the dryer, the microwave, and the deep freeze, get shut inside, and then be replaced by a less reprehensible cast? Almost anyone this side of 9 Dickweed Lane would be better as parents.

  127. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (y75):

    How did all this happen, and where is Scott all this time?

    Hitting the bars, I would guess.

  128. Calico
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#29):
    Especially when the cut of the neckline mysteriously changes from panel 1 to panel 2.

  129. Government Cheese
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#126): I guess Greg Evans thinks it’s hilarious for us to watch them tear up the house. I also will posit that Shannon is no child, but rather a court dwarf. Maybe she’s spying for Dirk.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Court_dwarf

  130. Hogenmogen
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#105): Mark Trail will assault the next gang of bandits in Lost Forest with the jawbone of an ass. “My strength does not come from greasy, oversized mullets; nor does it come from absurdly out-of-fashion facial hair! My might streams to me from the trees, the rocks and the enormous talking fauna of various species! Feel my wrath, oh wretched ones!”

  131. Calico
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#84):
    I’d rather eat a salmon square and try to digest one of Mary’s platitudes.

  132. Calico
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#119):
    Poi Macadamia Ripple might just work …

  133. Hogenmogen
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @BeckoningChasm (#34): Only a dope-addled hippie… Or the University of Pikeville.

  134. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Ringo Beaumont III (#120): Hadn’t really thought about it, as thoought-provoking as “Hagar” usually is. But you’re right. If the first panel just showed them under a tree, with the second panel revealing the tiny island, the joke would be detectable. Not successful, necessarily, but you’d know it was there.

  135. Marc
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#90): I thought they only had Salmon ice cream in Santa Royale? I hear it’s a certain meddling old biddie’s favorite.

  136. Hogenmogen
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    Six Chix: Why is the dad bird wearing a tie? The wig on the mama bird wasn’t enough of a hint for the readers to see the basic concept of mother/father/offspring, which every warm blooded creature is hardwired to recognize in an instant? What is the target audience here? Lizards? Arachnids? Lynn Johnston?

  137. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    BB – 25% funnier if the dress is drawn as already having a low-cut neckline.

  138. sporknpork
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    “Who’s your fashion consultant? I’ve never seen anyone willing to purchase a dress that made them look like a sultry Cindy Lou Who.”

  139. seismic-2
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#90): So, have you tried Baskin-Robbins’ new snake-flavored ice cream, Minty Python? (Yeah, it’s an old joke, but a good one.)

  140. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#12): FW: Ah, so I’m not the only one to pick up those subtle undertones.

  141. SF_Reader
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    Hagar – Move on, nothing thought provoking here.
    “…what happened to the rest of the crew? Did Hagar and Eddie eat them?” If by that you mean oral sex, then yes.

  142. tallyHO
    May 1st, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#139):
    Was that the 33rd flavor that confirmed that Baskin-Robbins is a front for the Masons?

  143. Anachrosaurus
    May 1st, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Rex, professional as always, spreads the word around town that the daughter of his recently deceased friend is a mentally imbalanced drunk (based on one evening’s observation).

  144. bemibet
    May 1st, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    MT – Now Andy has a taste for human flesh. Will he team up with or replace Marmaduke?

  145. seismic-2
    May 1st, 2012 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    Hagar: “What happened to the rest of the crew?” Somehow, the word “mutiny” immediately springs to mind.

  146. This Guy
    May 1st, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#130): Mark Trail emulating a legendary figure whose strength was dependent on his long hair? That’s some industrial-grade irony right there.

  147. commodorejohn
    May 1st, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#146): Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Samson’s hair was uncut by order of the Lord, whereas the hair of Mark’s enemies is Godless? Or is that too nuanced a distinction for this strip?

  148. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 1st, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#4): Agreed about 9CL. I’m glad you clicked over so I didn’t have to; you confirmed what I suspected, that it was nothing but a comments-free wanking platform. (I really wish McE would make up his mind as to whether he’s Making Art or hawking a product. Having an ad in your comic is incredibly tacky even if you’re doing the latter, and if you’re doing the former… *shakes head* Also, a blog without comments is useless.)

  149. Holly Folly
    May 1st, 2012 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    I like how in Mark Trail, the drug growers first impulse is to throw his gun away from him. Won’t need this defensive weapon anymore where I’m going, looks like it’s back to prison for me!

  150. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 1st, 2012 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @bemibet (#144):

    “Will he team up with or replace Marmaduke?”

    There can be only one!!

  151. Shrug
    May 1st, 2012 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#122):

    “If it is any salve for the distressed, just think of Hagar as a buddy comic strip featuring two pals who pillage.”

    Er, not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. As long as they don’t try to go to the Viking prom together.

  152. Sequitur
    May 1st, 2012 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#151): At the Viking prom they do the Viking dance!

  153. commodorejohn
    May 1st, 2012 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#148): A blog without comments is just about the perfect summation of McEldowney’s attitude there could be. TREMBLE AND HEAR MY WORDS, O YE BEEFWITS OF THE GREAT UNWASHED!

  154. tallyHO
    May 1st, 2012 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#151): But a two vikings going to prom together would be an interesting twist on Natural Born Pillagers.

  155. tallyHO
    May 1st, 2012 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    It is days like these I’m still glad that I still do not read LuAnn or 9CL.

    Though, I am curious. Nah. I’ve already been let down by the few “serious” strips I’ve followed lately. To follow ones where relationships apparently do occur…that would be too much.

  156. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    9CL-It’s funny because the artist doesn’t allow comments so people can tell him how low this is.

    Hagar-Helga would bring her mother with her and then I could drown her.

  157. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    What is the purpose of 9CL? Is it supposed to be funny? If there are jokes in there I don’t get them. I will read a strip and wonder what I just read.

  158. Alison
    May 1st, 2012 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    Wait a minute. They are literally knocking down walls to look for Shannon?! Exactly how likely is it that a missing child somehow got behind a WALL? Shannon isn’t a gerbil, you nitwits.

    Next they’ll be digging up the backyard because they think Shannon somehow got underground. “Brad, you dig in the garden, and Toni, you start pulling up the tulips. I’ll start yanking up the grass. She’s gotta be down here somewhere. Shannonnnn! Oh, Shannoooonnnnn!”

  159. Señor Tortilla
    May 1st, 2012 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#146): Did Samson have facial hair, tho?

  160. Baka Gaijin
    May 1st, 2012 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#158): You know, when you put it that way, their plan sounds kinda stupid.

  161. Droopy Says
    May 1st, 2012 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#158): Shannon isn’t a gerbil, you nitwits.

    Perhaps, but Evans should use her like one.

  162. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    BB: Apologies if this has been noted, but that’s not the strip that appears in today’s print WashPost. Was the sight of the General ogling Miss Buxley through erotically jaded eyes, demanding to see more flesh, too hot for Herndon?

    (The print strip’s signature is also Mort Walker .com, which makes me think that it’s perhaps more recent? I realize, of course, that Mort Walker probably just heard about this .com business that the young people are all talking about, and he doesn’t actually have, you know, a website.)

  163. ByJove
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Hairhead (#21):

    Hey, do you think Shannon is trying to ‘gaslight’ Toni and Bwad?

  164. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#121): Evil Ann will save the day by bringing Shannon safely home. (after calling child protective services)

    And the real coup would be if Ann fosters Shannon. She has so much potential!

  165. The Ridger
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @lorne (#49): No. Not American robins, anyway. Both are red-breasted (or rufous, rusty, orange). Males tend to have black heads, but not all of them do, and some females have darkish heads, too.

  166. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#158): TJ just smiled at them and they went with his plan of knocking down walls. People will do anything TJ says when he smiles at them.

  167. The Ridger
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @Terryfic (#45): Oh, ditto ditto. I hate that when the legs are so shaded and solid and the body is so neither. It’s creepy and fetishtic – obviously so.

  168. Terryfic
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#167): You are right on about fetishism. I’m fairly certain he has a pantyhose fetish, or if not a simple foot fetish. The preferred pantyhose for these folks are the shiny kind (I know this for a fact, according to the photo guidelines for Leg Show magazine). This is what his shaded legs look like – Hooters-style shiny pantyhose. Tacky, tacky.

  169. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @Danel (#98): Your insight into that much misunderstood man, Gen. Halftrack, is a public service. Well done!

  170. Trillian
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: That much Advil would kill a healthy person. Cranky, on the other hand, never exercises at all so he will be just fine.

  171. Zerowolf
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#158): COTW! ROFLMAO!

  172. Baka Gaijin
    May 1st, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Trillian (#170): Which proves he’s a demon from the bowels of Hell sent to Earth to give people a glance of what they’ll get if they continue on the road away from righteousness.

  173. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 1st, 2012 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Josh: “…what happened to the rest of the crew? Did Hagar and Eddie eat them?”

    @SF_Reader (#141): “If by that you mean oral sex, then yes.”

    The rest of Hagar’s crew is a Greek Viking Chorus, so they’re just a bunch of
    red shirts (or whatever it was the Norse wore). Can you name another crew member besides Lucky Eddie? No, neither can I…

    (And when you blow a member of the chorus, I’m pretty sure it’s called
    Choral Sex!)

  174. Droopy Says
    May 1st, 2012 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    Six Chix: The male bird wears nothing but a tie. You call this proper attire? No shirt, Shulock!

  175. commodorejohn
    May 1st, 2012 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#172): Wait, was that in need of proof? I always held it as a first principle.

  176. Mcbain
    May 1st, 2012 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    The artists and color monkeys over at ASM can’t seem to settle on a look for Hardy Laurel. Is his hair blonde or brown? Is he young or middle-aged? Is his scarf red or green? It’s like watching “Bewitched” if they kept changing Darrins in every shot.

  177. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 1st, 2012 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#165): Oh, thank goodness. After reading the comments today, I was walking Lolly this afternoon and noticing all the robins out and about, and thinking, “Where are all the female robins?”

  178. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 1st, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @Terryfic (#168): He’s also got some sort of torso-piercing fixation. If you flip through the archives for Pibgorn, it gets a bit disturbing when you realize how many times his female characters end up with holes in their torsos from being pierced by all manner of things.

    @Liam (#157): It doesn’t really have a purpose, other than to provide a platform for the cartoonist to show off his ability to draw lithesome semi-pubescent women and his contempt for his readers. It used to be more coherent, and the characters more likeable, but some years ago he had some sort of break when any sort of criticism – from editors, readers, random trolls on the internet – became too much for him and he fired his editor and shut off all comments on every site where his work appeared. I believe it is not coincidence that some time after that point his work got weirder and less coherent and more about providing the author with Mary Sues, wank fodder, and ego-stroking.

  179. Roger Ln
    May 1st, 2012 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    Looks like that raid on Italy didn’t go so well.

  180. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    JP-All Randy did was watch April handle another woman. He likes watching April handle other women.

  181. Señor Tortilla
    May 1st, 2012 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @Terryfic (#168): Reading Chickweed Café Blog, it seems McEldowney is a pretentious dick, and a bit of a perv to boot, too!

  182. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#178):
    wank fodder, and ego-stroking

    These two seem like the same thing.

  183. Harold
    May 1st, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail is apparently restraining Andy by grabbing hold of a major artery which for some reason runs across his back. It might look like a collar, but he clearly wasn’t wearing a collar in the first panel.

    Is it possible that all the desert island strips in Hagar the Horrible are actually a framing story, and all the non-desert island strips are merely flashbacks to happier days of plundering and pillaging, back before Hagar and Lucky Eddie found themselves abandoned and slowly starving to death?

  184. Chance
    May 1st, 2012 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    @DAS (#60):
    “Maybe Mark Trail is really a 6-7 year old boy, and what we are seeing is his fantasy life?”

    This… this is exactly right. It explains everything. The lack of sexual feeling, the absurd jumpy plots, the invincibility, the vague “bad guys” who are easily identifiable as such…

    Mark Trail is Axe Cop, decades ahead of its time.

  185. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail

    The part of the pot grower in panel #1 (“What th’!”) is being played by
    Bob’s Big Boy:

    http://www.aiga.org/uploadedImages/AIGA/Content/Inspiration/Voice/ART_Heller_BigDeal_BigBoy_300.jpg

    (BBB has the cure for the munchies!)

  186. Trillian
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#172): The doctor is trying to hasten Cranky’s demise for the good of all humanity. He figures that Cranky will either a) ignore the “exercise and eat right” advice like usual and have a good old heart attack, or b) he will listen to the doc for once, start exercising and taking 30 Advils a day, and die from massive stomach bleeding. A win-win situation for all mankind!

  187. Der Schnärkïnätör
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    Love is…..an orgasm….for her.

    It’s only fair. He had his last week.

    If only they weren’t 4th graders. Yikes!

  188. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    You guys! It was just a peck on the cheek! Sheesh.

    @Liam (#88): I wonder how this guy would draw a blowjob?
    Like a peck in the cheek.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    I’m sorry.

  189. Liam
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    MT-That’s not the pot grower Andy is attacking. Somehow Mark has sicked Andy on himself. Look at that guy. He looks just like Mark Trail. Maybe this whole series takes place inside of Mark’s mind and that is why all the male characters look alike.

  190. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#106):
    “First you’ll hear somebody snarling,
    Then a clash of cacophanous bells.
    Frozen dill pickles and vinegarsicles
    Are what the Bad Humor Man sells…”

  191. Josh Smith
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    That CNN article…. do they save space by removing apostrohpes and quote marks before archiving?

  192. Rusty
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#178): Does 9CL even run in any newspapers? I have only seen it on the web. I’m astonished that it would survive the reader polls most lifestyle/entertainment editors now run to eliminate strips.

  193. Rusty
    May 1st, 2012 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#17): Have the Fashion Police ever weighed in on Becky’s pinned up sleeve? There have to be smarter alternatives, yes?

  194. Trillian
    May 2nd, 2012 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    @Rusty (#192): It didn’t survive in my local dead-tree. I think they ran the strip for about two years. I was excited–there was always a lot of 9CW discussion on Usenet (racs…anyone remember that?). However, I was never able to get into the storyline at all and nothing ever seemed to happen and there was a creepy thing named Thorax and I wasn’t surprised when it disappeared.

  195. Der Schnärkïnätör
    May 2nd, 2012 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    MW – Stat tuned for the “Spe-
    cial announcement” folks!

  196. Der Schnärkïnätör
    May 2nd, 2012 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    Dammit!

    MW – Stay tuned for the “Spe-
    cial announcement” folks!

  197. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 2nd, 2012 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    I read a commenter from an online blog
    Who said: “Two daft and brainless wastes of ink
    Run online daily. Meanwhile, in a fog
    Of self-regards, a heavy, lead-like wink
    And puffed-out chest and smirk of Old King Log
    Tell wiser heads who might come into this place
    This might not be the happiest of trips,
    Unless you like your head beat with a mace.
    And by each strip, a box, with words writ round:
    “My name is McEldowney, styled King of Strips!
    Adore my drips ye beefwits, lest I frown!”
    Comments disallowed; No other speaks.
    The blowhard’s bellicosities abound,
    His fulminations thrill his groupie geeks.

  198. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 2nd, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Like a Persian rug, there’s always got to be one flaw, right?

    For
    “My name is McEldowney, styled King of Strips!

    read
    “My name’s Brooke McEldowney, God of Strips!

    and nobody gets hurt.

  199. commodorejohn
    May 2nd, 2012 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#198): Actually, I like it better the first way.

  200. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 2nd, 2012 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#199): In some ways I do too, but that gives it an extra foot, breaking the meter. And the name fits the mold better in the second version.

  201. CaptBackslap
    May 2nd, 2012 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    Is it just me, or is that line from MJ’s play actually pretty dirty in a 9:00-show-at-a-2nd-rate-Borscht-Belt-comedy-night kind of way?

  202. Droopy Says
    May 2nd, 2012 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#197): “I am McEclowney, Ego of Egos! Look on my jerks, ye mighty, as though I care!”

  203. Comcis Fan
    May 2nd, 2012 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    FW: Funky Winkerbean is positively biblical this week, what with all the exposition about Becky’s family. Mrs. Blackburn begat Becky and Bonnie and Beth and Brenda. And Becky begat Rana.

  204. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 2nd, 2012 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#203): Thankfully not this Rana…

  205. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 2nd, 2012 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#197): That is splendid. And bless you for caring about the scansion!

  206. Gringo
    May 2nd, 2012 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    There’s an interesting look at Funky Winkerbean‘s de-evolution from wry and amusing to pretentious and depressing over at the A.V. Club, which is the entertainment arm of The Onion. The Mudges get a shoutout!

  207. Hairhead
    May 2nd, 2012 at 3:14 am [Reply]

    Luann: AAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! FUCK YOU, GREG EVANS!!

    1) You make a big deal about how B-wad “looked in every room of the house” — self-evidently untrue, as Shannon was asleep in the laundry room.

    2) You make a big deal of how loud B-wad and Toni were SCREAMING for Shannon, both inside and outside the house, when any child, especially a narcissist like Shannon, would have woken at the sound of her own name.

    3) You make a big deal of TJ, B-wad, and Toni ACTUALLY SAWING SMASHING AND RIPPING UP WALLS in that tiny house without Shannon hearing or waking up and coming out to see what the hell was going on.

    4) You even hint that Shannon might be KILLED and her little corpse was THUMPING AROUND INSIDE THE DRYER, you perverted fuck!

    There have been a number of STUPID plotlines, Evans, REALLY STUPID ones — but this takes the cake.

    FuckofffuckofffuckfuckoffAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH(head explodes)

  208. Mr. O'Malley
    May 2nd, 2012 at 3:58 am [Reply]

    MT: “Drug plants”? I think I’ll go pick some oranges from my juice tree.

    @Hairhead (#207): Maybe he just got back from seeing the new Three Stooges movie and decided to take the strip in a new direction, but then he got tired of the idea.

    And somehow I have the feeling that after all this nonsense the whole thing will be dropped and we’ll be off with some of the other characters.

    JP: I guess Randy must be a big ZZ Top fan.

    I can’t imagine what these people will get for wedding presents. A matched set of Zeppelins?

    Zits: Is there some connection between the second panel and the third? Or am I missing some assumption that all pizza toppings are made from pork that is prevalent in some other part of the world?

  209. Mr. O'Malley
    May 2nd, 2012 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    Oh, and why do Brad and TJ have a laundry room that’s bigger than their living room?

  210. Vanya
    May 2nd, 2012 at 4:08 am [Reply]

  211. Dale
    May 2nd, 2012 at 4:57 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail is almost too painful to read.

    Ranger(TM) sets off by himself. He doesn’t tell anyone where he is going.
    He doesn’t have a gun, a badge or a uniform.
    He DOES wear a TIE, and seems to have HANDCUFFS after a cozy talk with Mark but before restraining perp #2. (That’s how we talk in the amateur crime fighting business.)

    “Hey, Mister! Don’t put those cuffs on me. You reached in your underpants to get them.”

  212. Droopy Says
    May 2nd, 2012 at 5:46 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: The strip continues its slide into minimalism, with Peter Passive watching as Hardly Laurel does violence to the least-amusing comedy ever written.

    Mock Trail: Drug plants. So the problem is not the leafy green stuff but the huge pharmaceutical complex that everyone is about to notice. It’s a good thing they have a pharmacy around, because–just like Baldy McBaddy–this story is giving everyone a headache.

    Luann: Did Evans even bother to establish that Piggyface was doing laundry? Let’s ignore the idiocies of “we looked everywhere” and “Shannon slept through Tonibaloni’s shriek and all the demolition work.” How do you get a load of fresh, warm towels in a basket when those selfsame towels are in the dryer? Add “has never done a load of laundry in his life” to the load of bull Evans has produced.

    For Better Or For Wankerbean: “Rana?” You gave your daughter a name which is Latin for “Frog.” Go die from pancreatic cancer just for doing that.

    Pluggers: Pluggers are so infantile they treat their kids like Barbie dolls.

  213. John C Fremont
    May 2nd, 2012 at 6:19 am [Reply]

    Wait a minute – The Judge’s publisher is named Dewey Cheatham?!

    Sorry. I got unstuck in time.

    @Droopy Says (#202): I read that as “Ego of Eggos” the first time. I am such a beefwit.

  214. Cloudbuster
    May 2nd, 2012 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#212): Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket Response eagerly awaited!

  215. gleeb
    May 2nd, 2012 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    3-G: “As usual”? That implies that Margo thinks she regularly goes about doing kind deeds and helping out.

    Barney Google: “Then the visions…could I be going mad?” thinks Parson Tuttle.

    Dick: Like any collection of malefactors, there’s going to be a lot of internal rivalry. Unlke most, I think it’s going to start with an arguement about bowties.

    ‘bean: I know Lefty the Bandleader is Rana the Screeching Frog-Girl’s mom, but years of ignoring Funky Winkerbean mean I don’t know who Lefty’s mom is. So, like many people who get to the middle of War and Peace, I’m confused and slightly annoyed at not understanding the significance of the character. All I’m left with is contempt for the half-assed “grandmothered in” wordplay.

    Luann: I’m guessing Shannon must be a deaf lip-reader, and Greggums forgot to tell us. It would explain why all the sound didn’t wake her, and the “B-Wad” pronunciation.

  216. endless sky
    May 2nd, 2012 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    Luann: How do we know Shannon is “snoozing?” She could be dead – murdered by Ann Eiffel and left there as a warning to these clowns.

  217. Jimbo
    May 2nd, 2012 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Read Comics Curmudgeon, of course, but even in you read nothing else this week, read THIS:

    http://www.marijuana.com/threads/mark-trail-versus-the-marijuana-farmers-is-the-new-greatest-comic-strip-of-all-time.301879/

  218. Hogenmogen
    May 2nd, 2012 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    ASM: “Sophisticated comedy”? The guy is wearing a suit and a cape. The director is wearing sunglasses indoors, and never mind the spandex guy hanging from the ceiling. You’re about as far from sophisticated as you are from a semblance of reailty.

  219. Hogenmogen
    May 2nd, 2012 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    @Jimbo (#217): That’s a very funny rant, but “the reader is treated to consistent photo-bombs by deciduous fauna” There are animals that shed their leaves? Perhaps I’ve been confusing them with the background foliage. Perhaps the writer would know more vocabulary if he consistently read the Sunday Mark Trail Nature Lover Guide to Nature, for Lovers, Presented Every Sunday.

  220. Hogenmogen
    May 2nd, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    MT: Hey Baldy McPotgrower, we only have one pair of handcuffs. Sit here passively and do nothing for a few hours while we go back to headquarters to get another pair.

  221. gleeb
    May 2nd, 2012 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#219): Deciduous means falling down or falling off. Maybe the writer meant deer that shed their antlers, or really clumsy squirrels.

  222. Anonymous
    May 2nd, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Six Chix actually made me a little shocked and sad. Instead of seeing the strip as an unwanted pregnancy, I saw it as a couple who are getting exhausted with trying for children, and given unfertilized eggs every time.

    Hence the “hopeless” part. Dang, man, that’s a downer.

  223. Hart of Johnny
    May 2nd, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Looks to me like Hagar wrecked the Exxon Valdez.

  224. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 2nd, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#214): My nom de blogs is indeed taken from the Latin for frog. I do believe that Rana’s a somewhat common name in India and environs, however, so on that count I can sort of let Batiuk off the hook. Sort of.

  225. The Ridger
    May 2nd, 2012 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#190): Ish Kabibble! Oh, wait … no. Oh, well. Have some Kay Kyser!

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