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Mostly soapy Saturday

Apartment 3-G, 6/23/12

“No paramedics, Scott!! They follow their rules, not ours.”

Ahem. Let’s just enjoy that line again, shall we?

“No paramedics, Scott!! They follow their rules, not ours.”

Oh, man. I mean really, it’s too delicious! “No paramedics, Scott!! They follow their rules — their medically sound rules, based on a century of science and years of training and experience dealing with people who need medical attention, not our crazy patchwork of imperious and contradictory commands and whims that we’ve developed over the course of a lifetime of wealth and privilege — wealth and privilege that have kept us isolated from anyone who might tell us that we’re wrong about anything, ever. Damn it, if I want this baby sucked out of me through my bellybutton by powerful magnets, then that’s how it’s going to be! Who do we know with a medical degree who’s weak-willed enough to do exactly what I tell them to, no matter how stupid that might be? Oh, right, Tommie Thompson. Call Tommie!”

“No paramedics, Scott!! They follow their rules, not ours.”

Excuse me, be right back, getting that tattooed on my ass.

Mark Trail, 6/23/12

It actually makes me feel kind of bad for Mark Trail, because on most days his “Hmm, I’m being pursued by armed killers, let’s wake up this hibernating grizzly bear, that can only result in positive outcomes” plan would be the most deranged and hilarious thing on the comics page. But not today, my friend. Not today.

Mary Worth, 6/23/12

I’m not sure if this is the narrative intention or not, but I am 100% more interested in Mary’s upcoming stint as an Ask Wendy pinch hitter than I am in Dawn moping her way across Italy or whatever. Mary is finally beginning to realize that this newfangled “printing press” technology will allow her to meddle in lives on an unprecedented scale, forcing people to bend to her will without ever having to meet them in person! And the rest of the world is also rejoicing at the news, as the front page of the Santa Royale Gazette indicates: stock markets are going through the roof now that Mary will be dispensing advice in the newspaper, and I have no doubt that the “RESULTS ANNOUNCED IN NEW POLL” indicate unanimous support for Mary’s appointment as dictator for life.

Judge Parker, 6/23/12

Uh oh, looks like Avery’s about to fall to his death! I certainly hope that he’s had time in the car to write a new will that leaves his vast fortune to Sam.

Ziggy, 6/23/12

OK, so here’s a funny story! I was pretty much all ready to write a joke along the lines of “These birds yearn to feast on Ziggy’s flesh” and move on with my life, when something about that seemed naggingly familiar; sure enough, a little Google searching revealed this Ziggy cartoon from four years ago:

…and at the time I in fact made the exact joke I almost made about this panel. The weird part is that this isn’t just a repeat panel — it’s completely redrawn, which makes me wonder if, much like me and my birds-eating-Ziggy joke, Tom II thought of this joke again and forgot that it had already appeared in his strip and completely redrew a panel for it. That sort of problem is frankly forgivable and inevitable, for who can avoid repeating themselves when they need to produce seven jokes a week, every week, every year, for the rest of their lives?

Actually, I’m sorry, that wasn’t so much a “funny story” as a “depressing” one.

264 responses to “Mostly soapy Saturday”

  1. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    A3G — I can understand Nina’s point, actually. Paramedics might drag her down to that icky plain of reality wherein going into labor musses up one’s hair.

  2. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: Not only has he lost the jaunty hat in the intervening years, but nowadays his ass holds the clever ability to warp space-time and cause the left side of his sitting apparatus to veer off into an angle that does not match the right side of his sitting apparatus. Or maybe the artist dude just muffed up the perspective a bit.

    A3G: I was all set to snark about the woman in the left panel obviously not being the same woman in the right, but then I noticed the same goes for the man in both panels. Alternate timeline, parallel universe, cast change? Who knows? All I know is that the guy on the right has Marlon Brando’s lips. Give them back! They are not yours!

  3. McManx
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Ziggy- Comparing the two panels, I notice a startling difference. In today’s panel, Ziggy is his usual pantsless self, but relaxed in the face of those threatening birds. Four years ago, he is wearing pants and shoes, and is clutching he knees together nervously. I suspect he lost his privates to those meat eating birds that day, which could explain why now he has no needs of pants. Today, Ziggy can only sadly respond “Shut up and eat my popcorn; You already got my nuts.”

  4. Philip
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    AG3: And somewhere there’s a hospital administrator greeting a new hire. He says “Welcome to the team. Here’s the Paramedic Rule Book,” while handing the young man a thick tome. The new paramedic takes the book, and without a glance at it throws it over his shoulder. Donning a pair of sunglasses, he exclaims “I don’t play by the rules.”

    And then he goes to sit in his ambulance, waiting for the call. The call for a paramedic who doesn’t play by the rules.

    Unfortunately he lives in a different city than Nina.

  5. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    JP — Gravity. It isn’t just for poor people anymore.

  6. Hank
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    The sad part is that “no paramedics… they follow their rules, not ours” was last thing Mary Kate Olsen said to Heath Ledger.

  7. Cloudbuster
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Cow & Boy: Man, this strip has a nasty anti-warlock bias! Blaming them for high health-care costs is just outrageous!

    Luann: Shame that slut!

    ASM: The proportional drug-withdrawal speed of a spider!

    A3G: No, not that one! The other one, for Roto-Rooter!

    FW: If I had to spend an entire vacation in the presence of Les, and I knew he was OCD about “things left undone when you go on vacation” then I’d be constantly hinting that he left the stove on, wearing away at his sanity bit by bit.

    JP: TSSHHH!

    MT: “A grizzly … maybe he can help!” ought be in the Famous Last Words Hall of Fame right up there with “Hold my beer and watch this!”

    MW: It’s like watching someone as they just got the purest rush of heroin they’ve ever experienced in their life.

    QC: This is actually Friday’s strip, but I just had to mention that “I will accordion 4 you” guy is absolutely the best thing about it!

  8. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    MW-Conversely many people will realize how full of shit Mary is when she advises people to quit their current job and go back to school without any other sort of job lined up.

  9. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    9CL — I used to think I was a clueless wuss when I was young. But compared to Edda and Dawn, I was Emma Peel.

  10. pccmdoc
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    I think you’re misinterpreting the A3G line, clearly they want to get the best possible care…it’s purely a punctuation err, and a left off sentence.

    No! Paramedics…they follow their rules, not ours. Because we’re clearly uneducated morons who shouldn’t be allowed to dispense or follow our own medical advice.

  11. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#7): Re FW, I love it. “Are you sure you locked the front AND back doors, Les? What about the side door? Are you really sure? Absolutely certain?” I’d give him three days, tops, before he cracked.

  12. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    MW-Dear Wendy,

    I’m being stalked by this old woman that I said hi to in passing her on the street one day. This woman follows me wherever I go always trying to give me advice on every little aspect of my life. The advice isn’t any good either. It all boils down to quitting my job. One time I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought she was sitting across from me in my bedroom. I’ve asked this woman many times to stop following me. I’ve even tried getting a restraining order out against her to no avail. It seems like the cops will do what she says instead of what is right.

    Sincerely,
    STOP FOLLOWING ME, MARY WORTH

  13. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    A3G-Paramedics make sure that people live. I want someone to die and I’m not saying any names here but the adult in this situation should not die.

    MT-Mark is going to get the help of a fat hairy homosexual?

  14. Black Drazon
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    “Which is not very different from what I do already,” she says, looking directly at us. “My answers may help MANY people who read my column in the paper.” And right there on the cover: that’s the stock price of King Features soaring there after Mary’s personal appeal! Huh. So this is what it feels like in a newspaper company’s fever dreams. I thought it would look more like the thirties.

  15. Jim North
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    DT: The other day I mentioned how I liked the new Mr. Crime and actually hoped he would stick around for a good long while, free of the horrific karmic deaths that typically plague Dick Tracy’s villains. Naturally someone has to die a horrific karmic death in his stead. Today’s strip has ensured that my vote goes to Lt. Teevo, obviously the dumbest mole in the history of dumb moles.

    FW: Toaster’s unplugged . . . stove is off . . . and his balls are safely packed away in the hall closet as usual. But not softballs or footballs or even basketballs. I’m talking about his tiny, disused testicles, locked away lo these many years.

    GT: I can see absolutely no reason why this guy shouldn’t die in a fire. He angries up my blood, he does. Which probably means I’m getting far more emotionally invested in a Gil Thorp character than I really ought to.

    JP: Avery Blackstone was found dead at the bottom of a ravine today. Police on the scene commented that it was most definitely not under mysterious circumstances whatsoever. “What-so-ever,” they then stressed again, with an unusual intensity as local attorney Mr. Sam Driver looked on from afar, slowly counting out a large handful of high denomination bills. Reports that a wrapper from the kind of gum people chew when they are trying to quit smoking was found on the scene have so far remained unsubstantiated.

    Pluggers of the Future are no longer sent to rest homes. They are instead glazed over with highly sophisticated preservatives and set in their favorite recliners, there to be enjoyed by their grandchildren and great-grandchildren and even great-great-grandchildren for many decades to come.

    S-M: At first, Spider-Man lol’d.

    But then he serious’d.

  16. Cloudbuster
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    A3G: What kind of “rules” about childbirth does a person have, when that person is someone who mistakes labor for stomach flu, and has no idea what happens next? Maybe those professional paramedics’ crazy “rules” and their wild “medical science” talk might have something to them? No, they’d only get in the way of the stork! What do they know about handling wild animals? Keep them away!

  17. Chris B
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    If I have one piece of advice for Sam, it is this – for the love of god man, do NOT leave a gum wrapper lying around.

  18. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Archie: If it was necessary to put up further evidence for recycling, observe Archie’s shorts. Men’s shorts, even swim shorts, haven’t been that short since the mid-80s.

    // More’s the pity. Those things were so comfortable on a hot day.

    // Why? Girls can wear short-shorts. It’s not fair. I blame the basketball players. What’s the hell wrong with those guys?

  19. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

  20. Chyron HR
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    DT – At last, an excuse to get rid of Lt. Teevo, the only surviving character of the prior regime! Tune in Monday when he will be replaced by the beloved Lt. Philco, who appeared in the strip for two weeks back in 1939.

  21. Nate
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    ‘Have you ever heard Mark Trail cry to the blue corn moon? Or asked the sleeping grizzly if he can help? Can you shout with all the subtlety of a man pursued? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?’

  22. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Apt 3-G: Perhaps there is something to be said for eugenics, after all. In a rational society, two such very stupid people as Nina and Scott would have never been permitted to breed in the first place.

  23. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#18): Like everything else, it’s the gays’ fault. amiright?

  24. Horace Broon
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    ASM: Seriously, what kind of loser is intimidated by newspaper Spider-Man? Even Clown-9 has more dignity than that.

    Crank: Of course she has: the standard “Putting up with Ed” bonus she has to pay everyone who comes to the house … even if they’re just visiting.

    GT: Okay, so the “Bobby’s a jerk” plot is moving into high gear, which I assume means that it’ll turn out Dinny really does like Jaxon and oh my god just get it over with already.

    Pluggers: Well … I, um, don’t think you’re necessarily a Plugger. I mean, it could be that it’s a really comfortable shirt, and it’s not like you’re going anywhere today, so why wear smart new clothes when you’ve got this comfy shirt? Um, for example.

    RMMD: “I’m here because they arrested me! You were there! How drunk are you?”

  25. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#19): Double plus good, Ridger!

  26. Egg Grevans
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    9CL: Oh mommy – I am a 26 year old total fuck up. Can you came here and take care of me? Juliette: I’m way ahead of you. (pulls out a gun and points it at Edda’s head) BANG! Juliette: I always thought you were complicated (puts gun to own head and pulls the trigger).

  27. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#23): You got to admit, Officer Dangle looks cool and comfortable. And he’s possibly the bravest man in law enforcement.

    // And those shorts are custom made.

  28. Cayuga
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    A3G: When Nina said there was a card in her purse, I didn’t think she meant a playing card. Did Tommie scrawl her phone number of the five of clubs or something?

  29. SamECircle
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    MW: I don’t have a joke about this (any ideas?) but I did want to point out that Mary’s hand holding the newspaper could not reasonably be attached to the rest of her body.

  30. Doug Puthoff
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    GT–That line in the last panel was a snark worthy of Tom Batiuk.

  31. geekwhisperer
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    A3G Actually the card is for the Wayland Corp medical rep. He’s going to stop by with at MedPod 720i, but this time calibrated for use with females.

    MT Yes, that’s right Elrod. Once you have chewed and swallowed the buttons the visions start. Ah, right on schedule, a cave! Helper Grizzly will bail Mark out of this one. Strong spirt, Helper Grizzly (remember how she carried the baskets in the mine during your last trip?).

  32. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Lio: “Hello my darling, hello my honey . . .”

    SBp: ironic take on the Car Talk boys retiring?

    Zits: yeah, that’s pretty much how they work. :-(

    Bizarro: I shouldn’t have laughed, but I did. *applaz*

    FW: Kayla is looking hawt in panel one. just sayin’.

    OBH: drama llama!

    JUMBLE: if the answer involves popular culture, would she be engaged in Trope-iary?

  33. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . the “clients” list matching the “wedding” list.

  34. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    DT: I don’t understand why Lt. Teevo, having just said hello to the Chief of Police, so he knows he’s right there, would proceed to flat out incriminate himself like that. He’s under suspicion, and probably knows it, since the chewing gum incident, but until now he’s had deniability.

    What’s he going to say now? “What I meant, Chief, was that I have to warn Tracy and his men that Panda may be a dangerous criminal! Or so I’ve heard.”

  35. debussy fields
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    FC– “It’s okay to come in the house again. The smell from Daddy’s fart is finally gone. An’ next time it’s Dolly’s turn to be the one who hasta do this!”

  36. tb4000
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    MW: Good God, that final panel is chilling. Mary staring serenely at the reader, basically saying that not even the fourth wall will protect us an untimely meddle. It’s like the Octogenerian version of the Ring.

  37. tb4000
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    MW: Good God, that final panel is chilling. Mary staring serenely at the reader, basically saying that not even the fourth wall will protect us from an untimely meddle. It’s like the Octogenerian version of the Ring.

  38. bats :[
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#19): Yay, Grizzly!

    I was just agog (yes, agog!) that Mark, in true Trailian fashion, is about to summon the power of ten four ONE MIGHTY GRIZZLY!

  39. Baka Gaijin
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#20): He’ll bring his old partner, Sgt. Curtis Mathes, with him.

  40. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#31):

    MT Yes, that’s right Elrod. Once you have chewed and swallowed the buttons the visions start. Ah, right on schedule, a cave! Helper Grizzly will bail Mark out of this one. Strong spirt, Helper Grizzly (remember how she carried the baskets in the mine during your last trip?).

    The Teachings of Mark Trail: A Yucky Way of Knowledge.

    // What are those cigarettes you smoke when you’re trying to quit peyote?

  41. Stev0
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Not the grizzly, Mark! It follows its rules, not yours!

  42. Ed Bob
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    If only Life Alert had a no paramedics option. Press 1 for Voodoo. Press 2 for Shaman. Press 3 for enchantress. Press 4 for Rex Morgan MD.

  43. Chareth Cutestory
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Don’t worry ma’am, we’re here to take good care of you. Ok, I see you’re pregnant and–oh!–you’re also an organ donor! Well according to our rules, we have to wait until you die so we can start harvesting. Rules is rules is rules.”

  44. phoebes-in-santa fe
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    A3G: This storyline is perhaps the stupidest they’ve ever run. As plenty of posters have pointed out, Nina has no idea she was in labor, Scott didn’t know she had hired the least experienced midwife ever (Tommie assisted at ONE birth!), and they’re in a “luxury” apartment with no phones. Who writes this shit.

  45. pastordan
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Scott and Nina are going to call Tommie Thompson, former Governor of Wisconsin, former head of the US Department of Health and Human Services, current candidate for the US Senate? My, they are privileged. And misguided.

  46. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Love Is-saving clothes for your wedding day.

    MW-I don’t like that look of Mary in the last panel. She looks like the thought of giving advice to the readers of the Santa Royale Gazette is causing her to orgasm right there and then.

  47. Digger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Dear Ask Wendy:
    I’m being pursued by two incompetent murderers and I’ve just stumbled upon a sleeping grizzly. Should I enlist it to help me?

    Signed,
    Asexual Naturalist

  48. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    A3G-”I give birth by my own rules.”

  49. Digger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    JP: The good news for Avery is that even if he tumbles into as deep dark crevice Sam will still be able to see his insanely bright pants and shoes.

  50. odinthor
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    9CL.Helpmates, Laurel & Hardy, 1932.

    BSt. — Just put up a sign stating, “112th Congress, by Ted and Sandy.” (Too political? OK: “The Progress of Ethics, by Ted and Sandy.”)

    Curtis. — Ladies and gentlemen, members of the board, shareholders, I propose to you . . . “Toe Fungus Trumps No Makeup!”—a t-shirt for our times!

    Dilbert. — So now we have “Reality Comics.”

    Doonesbury. — Am I the only person who, though a decades-long (and favorable) Doonesbury reader, is totally unaffected by the current story arc? Yes? OK, then I’ll be moving into a shack out in the desert soon. You’ll know it’s me—I’ll be the one throwing rocks at cars passing by.

    GT. — And Dinny? Will no one think of Dinny? Oh, the humanity!

    Shoe. — No, falling off your skateboard at 30 MPH is thrilling. Aging is more like slowly trudging into an increasingly dark, abandoned old mine which you know is flooded at the far end. —And then falling into a bottomless pit before you get all the way…

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#27):

    Also, his date nights are booked for the next three years.

  51. Weaselboy
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    FW: Crippling OCD is almost as funny as cancer.

  52. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    This is a meme-tastic effort.

    epic brainmush for bb,u. *claps*

    more training tips for bb,u.

    Traffic in Poteet’s world.

    This SpiderMan is closer to amazing. (PG-13 art)

    Mashup WIN.

    ikkle fishing kitteh.

    Strait-up corgi. (MI ref ftw.)

  53. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @phoebes-in-santa fe (#44):

    Frank Bolle is the name listed in the panel. No wonder why nothing in here makes sense a man is writing the story.

  54. Braniff
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    FC: After Billy completed his medley of Barbara Streisand/Judy Garland/Cher/Betty Midler tunes, Daddy decided to return to the house and come out to his family.

  55. Doctor Handsome
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Is Mary Worth going to turn into a half-assed reimagining of “A Face in the Crowd?” Because I’m actually OK with that. Beats the hell out of whatever it’s supposed to be currently.

  56. Roto13
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    If this isn’t leading to a panel of Mark Trail riding a bear like a warhorse, I’ll be VERY disappointed.

  57. Mysterion
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Little does Nina know that maverick midwife Tommie Thompson plays by her own rules! (It is not as awesome as it sounds.)

  58. Ross
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Didn’t the repeat thing with Ziggy happen with BC a few years back?

  59. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#27): Indeed, to all three of the observations, and “really? I can see that” to the statement.

  60. So Big Deal
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Dawn washes dishes with herself.

  61. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    3G: I certainly hope the first thing Tommy does when she gets there – no, before she gets there – is call the paramedics.

  62. Alter Ego
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    love is… when pegging him is so awesome, you’re both planning your wedding before you’ve even finished.

  63. Doctor Handsome
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    “I’ll be advising the lovelorn, the lonely, the lowly lonesome losers, the dateless, the painfully single, the sadly solo, the involuntarily celibate, the unattached, the unloved, the bachelors, the spinsters, and Ziggy. Basically, Wilbur’s whole target demo.”

  64. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

  65. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Henry – And that’s how Henry’s dog got strangled. Pity.

    Judge – Interesting method of censoring here, as Avery accidentally steps in TSSHHH. Spoo!

    Mark“A grizzly! Maybe he can help!”
    “I’ll just chain him to this log and make him fight this raccoon! It can’t fail!!”

  66. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    R=R – A less dedicated soul would have just gone with “I’ll” and “my,” but that would be nothing more than a lazy surrender to the forces of orthography. Yet they left “out” intact. What’s wrong with “owtt”? I can only award this three out of four barf bags.

    Bump – So that’s why his car kept going “click” and “clack.”

  67. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#1): Oops, shoulda been “plane.” Living in the Midwest can do that to you.

  68. John C Fremont
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#34): I wonder if that gum on the camera was the type people chew when they’re trying to stop smoking.

  69. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#y45): The technique of the TV viewer who’s not in the last panel was used by Feiffer one time, showing a child growing up in front of a series of politicians explaining why we were still in Vietnam. He becomes a soldier in the next to last panel, and is replaced by a flag-draped casket as the voice continues to drone on.

    There’s an oversized collection from a few years back that takes Feiffer from Eisenhower to Reagan. There are some amazing strips in there. Anybody who thinks Feiffer’s not an artist should look at it closely. His drawing changed when (if memory serves) he stopped penciling and started working directly in ink — he achieved a spontaneity that underlines and multiplies the punch of the words.

    @tallyHO (#y47): The eye parentheses in Peanuts evolved. Schulz used to draw Lucy with full circles around her eyes, and she looked kind of manic before he settled on the partial circles still in use.

    Josh – It’s good to see that Ziggy now throws popcorn to the birds at the park. He has apparently realized that throwing bird seed just resulted in lots more birds to feed.

  70. Cloudbuster
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @So Big Deal (#60): Aw, man. Now I have Particle Man stuck in my head!

  71. cartooncritic2544
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#50): No, this current Doonesbury arc isn’t doing it for me either. Among other things, Alex and Toggle’s relationship has been so lacking in conflict, difficulty or drama on the way to this marriage that it never rang true. It seemed more like a fling than an actual growing relationship. And when you add the “onsa” factor (“onsa a brain damaged war hero, the other a cynical girl genius…”) it seemed even less realistic. Trudeau seemed so desperate, Lynn Johnston style, to marry these two kids off that he forget to show the ups and downs of a typical relationship on the way to the alter.

  72. Cloudbuster
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

  73. pugfuggly
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    A3G They’re rich urban idiots who play by their own rules! And when it comes to delivering their child, there’s only one law: THEIR LAW!” /cue 70s blaxploitation music/

    MT Ah, the old Deus ex Ursus plot device. When in doubt, introduce a bear to solve your character’s problems.

    MW I’m a little uncomfortable about the way Mary is staring right at us as she’s talking about her readership. Maybe it’s just meant to be a bit meta (that what the kids like these days, right?) but it just reminds me of that horrible nightmare I had where she gained self-awareness and escaped the non-euclidean universe that contains her…

    Ziggy i thought for a moment that Ziggy was trying to get his revenge on those lippy birds by feeding them raw popcorn that would expand inside them, killing them in a horrible, yet hilarious fashion. But no, he’s just spending another say in the park, taking abuse from whoever or whatever passes by. Pathetic.

  74. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#72): Aww. Thanks, that’s appealing horsepower. On my gravel road, however, they’d be raising clouds of dust.

  75. Cloudbuster
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#73): Deus Ex Ursus! Ah, yeah, the old bear trick. That’s saved me many a time!

    *When pulled over for speeding* “Officer! It wasn’t me! It was the bear! (and I think he’s drunk!)”

    *When receiving unwanted romantic attention* “Look over there! Bears!

  76. Peanut Gallery
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    DT – Another tragic victim of Mark Trail Syndrome.

  77. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

  78. Cloudbuster
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#74): Yeah, those rowdy Amish drag races are hell on dirt roads.

  79. Carly
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    I wish the Judge Parker plot was going to end with Sam getting blamed for pushing Avery down the hill. And yet, I know it’s not to be.

  80. Weaselboy
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    MW: When was the last time anyone used the word “lovelorn” in a non-ironic sense?

  81. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#75): That first image is a good reminder that an actual grizzly has seriously big claws and teeth, apart from weighing up to 1,500 pounds. Mark is totally batshit crazy, is what I’m saying.

  82. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#66): R=R: Dammytt Mupharu u mayde mee leuk. Ahyl ghit u phoerr zis!

  83. Doctor Handsome
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    “No paramedics, Scott! Maybe a grizzly bear can help!”

  84. Peanut Gallery
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#Y60): Were the answers all alike, too? (The chorus of that song is downright Mary Worthian.)

  85. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#82): I purely despise Rose is Rose’s faux eye dialect. It is entirely without sense.

  86. Doctor Handsome
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    Josh’s almost-recycled Ziggy gag only works if Ziggy is, in fact, made of meat. I tend to assume that he actually consists of some sort of translucent gelatinous substance heretofore unheard of in biology. No bones, either, it should go without saying.

  87. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

  88. NoahSnark
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    The headline “Stocks Soar” on the Santa Royale Gazette reveals it to be a newspaper completely divorced from the need to acknowledge reality. Mary Worth is sure to fit right in.

  89. TheDiva
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    If Nina were a gung-ho home birth advocate steeped in “hospital L&D wards are soulless male-dominated institutions that have no respect for a woman’s rights and feelings, ever” propaganda, her statement, while over-the-top, might make some vague sense. But she’s a woman who has shown no interest in the progress of her pregnancy beyond the time it would take to complete it, probably doesn’t have a birthing plan beyond “squeeze baby out, have martini” and whose mother died in childbirth resulting in her being more than usually anxious about something going terribly wrong and would likely want every possible medical attention close at hand. So I can only assume this sudden turn of events is to spare the trouble of having to draw another character.

  90. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#66): Rose is Rose: This is so dumb it has been bugging me, but at last I have figured it out!
    Dictionary.com.

    Every word in the kid’s speech is the same transliteration as that in the pronunciation box in dictionary.com. Check it out!

    I’ll = “ahyl”
    pick = “pik”
    out = “out” – That’s right, Muffaroo, no change! Brady is guilty! Guilty I say!
    my = “mahy”
    shoe = “shoo” – They don’t give the plural, so we have to give Pat Brady creativity points for the “z”
    next = “nekst”

    Not only is the kid pronouncing words correctly, she is doing so using the phonetic scheme of dictionary.com.

    // So, conclusion: Not only is the vile Pat Brady cheating, he is cheating almost at a “ripping off Wikipedia” Mark Trail Sunday strip level. And worse, making a stupid, senseless joke, too.

  91. Peanut Gallery
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#73):

    MT Ah, the old Deus ex Ursus plot device. When in doubt, introduce a bear to solve your character’s problems.

    “Exit, pursued by a bear.”

  92. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#85): It is entirely without sense.

    Wrong, my friend! See my #91. Hah!

  93. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#92): #90, I mean. Dictionary.com

  94. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#93): Yes, but unless the point is to imply the parents have some horribly peculiar accent why go to that much trouble to show the kids speaking normally? For the love of god why?

  95. Noel Schornhorst
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth is staring into my soul!!! Make her stop!!!

  96. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#94): Because Pat Brady is EVIL.

    // No other explanation comes to mind.

  97. Downpuppy
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    JP : Now that the warmup is finally over, Peaches gets to become a regular!

    MT : What will happen? Bears watching

  98. Crankenstank
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    “No Paramedics! They follow THEIR rules, not OURS” sounds like the next CC t-shirt to me!

  99. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#87): I am such a big fan of Pullman’s trilogy. Better than Tolkien IMO. The Golden Compass Movie was excellent, shame they didn’t make the other two.

  100. Crankenstank
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy makes a lot more sense as two incredibly distinct and hilarious jokes, when you realize that “Popcorn” and “Red Meat” are different sexual euphemisms involving avian bestiality. I’ll just wait here while the rest of you go off and fill in the appropriate definitions in the Urban Dictionary to make Ziggy funny.

  101. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#68): But the only person around the station who smokes anymore is Sam Catchem… OMG! You’re not suggesting that Sam…?

    // No. No. Heaven forfend!

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Crankenstank (#98): I’d pay a dollar for that!

  103. Red Greenback
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    I like the flatlining EKG image on Tommie Thompson’s business card.

    When will the A GRIZZLY… MAYBE HE CAN HELP! t-shirts become available?

    OOOOPS! Avery just stepped in a big pile of TSSHHH…aving cream, be nice and clean. Shave everyday and you’ll always look keen

  104. fluffy
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    I can understand Nina’s trepidation. In the universe in which she lives, if a paramedic delivers a baby and it cries within the first hour, they’re allowed to eat it.

  105. seismic-2
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Lio: We still have 3 more months remaining until the centenary of Chuck Jones’s birth, but it’s never too early to start the tributes.

    JP: Avery has mysteriously fallen down a cliff. This will result in Rex Morgan’s inheriting yet another $20K, just because.

    Luann: Quill: “Maybe I hope he was talking to me!” C’mon, Evans, it’s time to acknowledge what you’ve been implying ever since you introduced this character. Just like Aaron Hill before him. Will every other comic strip have to “out” a character before you do? Remember, Gil Thorp already beat you to it. Gil Thorp!!!!

  106. flatsixes
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    MT: “Wake up, Mr. Bear! I need you to go outside and draw the fire of Mike Harris, local bush pilot, while I cower in this cave waiting for him to run out of ammunition! What’s that? Oh! I so sorry Mrs. Grizzly! I mean Ms. Grizzly!!! EIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!”

    What a dumb cartoon.

  107. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#94): “Yes, but unless the point is to imply the parents have some horribly peculiar accent why go to that much trouble to show the kids speaking normally?”

    It isn’t that much trouble. He writes the script – one or two sentences at the most . Then he cheats, goes to dictionary.com, cuts and pastes. No trouble at all.

    So you are probably right. I imagine Mom actually lisps in a horrible sinister Peter Lorre type accent. Dad mumbles and gurgles some incomprehensible Gullah dialect, rendered worse by his horrible phlegm problem. Imagine trying to render either of those. No wonder he does the kid.

  108. Señor Tortilla
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    FW: I was going to say that Cayla presumably will stay there (as she presumably lives there now), at least check up on the house from time to time. But SoSF says that Darin and his sister haven’t left, either, which only means that house renovation Les and Cayla were doing a few weeks ago was hiding their bodies.

    BGSS: Parson Tuttle takes joy in Snuffy’s misery.

    Crank: What an asshole.

    Luann: So Quill is bisexual, right?

  109. KreatureFeatures
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail has found an ally – now it’s a fair fight. On second thought, considering that the bear’s IQ is probably higher than the other three combined, the advantage has decidedly swung Mark’s way.

  110. bbofun
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    MT- No, Mark! No grizzlies! They follow their rules, not ours!

    9CL- No, Edda! No mother! she follows her rules, not ours!

    MW- No, Santa Royale gazette! Not Mary! She follows her rules, not ours!

    I could go on like this all day. But, I won’t. I follow my rules, not yours!

    JP- 2 ways for this to go- Avery dies, and it leads into either an exciting “Sam suspected of murder” plot, or the “Peaches takes control and decides to sabotage the deal” plot; or, Avery lives, is saved by Sam (because, y’know, you wouldn’t wait for the emergency rescue team, since they follow their…never mind) and gets rewarded handsomely.

    Who am I kidding? Even if Avery dies, Sam will end up rewarded handsomely. Maybe a lifetime pass to the movies?

  111. Soccerhead
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Do teens actually say, “You can’t assume anything these days”?
    It’s not like someone my age saying this, meaning “It’s not like the 1970s, when blah blah blah .”

  112. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

  113. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#87): I liked that movie. I would have watched the sequels. Why do the bad movies get the sequels? *sniff*

  114. commodorejohn
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#53): Actually, Frank Bolle is the artist. The writing is the work of Margaret Shulock of Six Chix, who allegedly, despite the evidence of this storyline, is a woman.

  115. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#73): Ah, the old Deus ex Ursus plot device. When in doubt, introduce a bear to solve your character’s problems.
    “Exit Mark, assisted by a bear.”

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#90): I think you’ve nailed Brady. In any case, I think we can agree that he’s the guy who managed to take all the “fun” out of “funnetteek.”

    @Peanut Gallery (#91): I’ll be sending someone over for an affadavit that I hadn’t read this comment before I wrote the one to Pugfuggly.

  116. Anonymous
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    How weird. I have “No paramedics” tattooed on my ass too! Although in my case, it’s because I don’t want to have to explain to them whatever they find back there. You have a suitably qualified wife to do that for you.

  117. Mibbitmaker
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Busy day, so oversnarpologies where aplicable…

    Ziggy: I like the drawing better in the original one, but the joke is better written in the newest one.

    MW: Her new column handle will be “Meglomania Mary”.

    A3G: “Tommie Thompson would better suit our male dominance cult, dearest.”

    MT: The worst Dr. Doolittle ever. The carnage begins on Monday….

    JP:
    “Oop!”
    “Avery! You okay?”
    “Yep, Sam. Caught my balance just in time.”
    “All set then?’
    “Yeah, let’s go.”
    “Ah, the invincibility of privilege!”

  118. True Fable
    June 23rd, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    1 apartment, 3 girls “I am woman! Hear me roar with intense pain because I didn’t bother to learn breathing exercises or know what to expect in the least!”

    Fist O’ Justice Theater “I am mama grizzly, hear me roar! Oh shit here come the Sarah Palin jokes.”

    Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse! “I am Peaches, hear me roar with frustration because I knew when I signed the guest-starring contract that Sam is going to inherit anything I would have gotten, dammit.”

    Luannadana “I am woman! Hear me be a starring-role little bitch to the only girl in the strip who is up front about being a bitch. Oh, and also Tiffany.”

    Mary Wrath “I am the goddamn Batman.”

  119. This Guy
    June 23rd, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    MW: And hey, the Santa Royale Gazette also reports “Building Code Under Fire!” Oh, and “New Petitions Against Tax.”

    @cartooncritic2544 (#71): I don’t know. So many writers have demonstrated how easy it is to go waaaaay too far in the other direction, introducing the most contrived and easily-solved conflicts into the characters’ relationship just to show how “realistic” and “true to life” their writing is.

  120. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 23rd, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    MT: Along with all the other insanity in today’s strips, you gotta love the look on that bear’s face: “Aw, Christ on a cracker! What now?”

  121. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 23rd, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#y51):
    Too many essays to grade? “A grizzly, maybe he can help!”
    Transmission problems? “A grizzly, maybe he can help!”
    Batshit-crazy and about to give birth? “A grizzly, maybe he can help!”

    @Baka Gaijin (#y65): ((blushes))

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#52): Hee. When I had my English bulldog, Truffles, her command for the “shake” move was “high five.”

    Oh, and today’s RwO? I approve this message!

  122. KreatureFeatures
    June 23rd, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger and Nehemia Scudder (#59): The story goes that, back in the 80′s, Michael Jordan got tired of his jersey coming untucked whenever he tugged at his basketball shorts, so he requested longer ones. In the 90′s, the Fab Five at Michigan requested longer shorts, ala Jordan. All the other players in pro and college basketball wanted to be like Mike and the Fab Five, and soon there was nary a pair of short shorts to be found on the courts.

  123. commodorejohn
    June 23rd, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “They follow their rules, not ours.” The hell? Is this some kind of religious thing? Does she adhere to the Gaines family’s own ancient tradition, and is afraid that the paramedics won’t think dissecting a rabbit and burning blood-soaked incense on her stomach during labor is sanitary?

    C&B – Well, it makes as much sense as any other theory I’ve heard.

    DT – Lamest spit-take ever. Dude, you couldn’t even mist it?

    FW – My vote is for the pilot light on the water heater to set off a gas leak.

    GT – Gee, I wonder why your transparent fakery failed to impress, Bobby? Guess you just needed to find a dumber girl.

    JP – I am not an expert on fashion, but I don’t think “baby poop mustard” is a suitable color for…basically anything, ever.

    MT – Oh. Ohh. Someone get the Darwin Awards on the phone!

    SF – Oh, you talk a good game, Ted, but you know in your heart that as soon as she hits the right note you’ll be joining in with even more enthusiasm.

  124. DAC
    June 23rd, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    Where does Mary usually keep that third arm that’s holding her tea?

  125. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Bruce McEldowney
    Is pompous and clowney.
    How else to explain
    9 Chickweed Lane?

    // Sorry. Another McE. clerihew. And I actually like the guy. Well, if you must have someone writing scurrilous verse about you, it ought to be a friend.

  126. CanuckDownSouth
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Since when does a woman who’s had to be strong-armed into basic prenatal care and has no clue what happens during labor have rules about childbirth? Really? Really??

    ; Yes, I know it’s been said, but the idiocy, it burns!

  127. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#122): The story goes that, back in the 80?s, Michael Jordan got tired of his jersey coming untucked whenever he tugged at his basketball shorts, so he requested longer ones.

    Didn’t have velcro back then, right.

  128. kkarenb
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    MT – Is there an organization that is the opposite of Mensa? If there is, all of the characters in Mark Trail and everyone involved in the strip are charter members.

    I have been away and am trying to catch up on two weeks worth of comics and comments. It’s much more difficult – and exhausting – than I expected. Reading each comic two weeks at a stretch is a lot different from reading it one day at a time, as some aspects are really magnified. For example, the obnoxious dickishness of Les Moore and the stupidity of Mark Trail and A3G.

  129. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#103): OOOOPS! Avery just stepped in a big pile of TSSHHH…aving cream, be nice and clean. Shave everyday and you’ll always look keen

    Ah yes, Benny Bell’s Shaving Cream Song. Every time Bell sings an angel gets his wings.

  130. Neal
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    Um… wasn’t there a Seinfeld episode about Elaine ripping off a Ziggy comic? How can the creators of Ziggy get mad at that when Ziggy rips ITSELF off?!

  131. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#114): Actually, Frank Bolle is the artist. The writing is the work of Margaret Shulock of Six Chix, who allegedly, despite the evidence of this storyline, is a woman.

    I’m starting to have my doubts. She doesn’t sign it. And does the writing look more like the work of an extremely elderly man who served in the Army Air Force in WWII, or more like that of a hip young authoress and member of the Six Chix collective?

    So maybe she tried emailing the scripts to him, but he doesn’t really understand email, so they talk on the phone occasionally, and he tries to translate her ideas to his drawing board as best he can. He’s almost 90, you know, and considering everything is doing pretty good to be as productive as he is.

  132. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

  133. seismic-2
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#114): Actually, Frank Bolle is the artist person who generates the pictures

    FIFY.

  134. Poteet
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    MT — Grizzly bears can run at 35 mph. From a standing start, they can hit 25 mph in six seconds flat. With all the greenery and open water in this scene, it’s summertime, and that bear is not hibernating, but napping. Me, I wouldn’t want to wake it up. But this deranged plot has definitely got my attention.

  135. teenchy
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    MT: So what the h-e-double-toothpicks, is Mark Trail like Aquaman and can summon fauna to do his bidding telepathically?

  136. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 23rd, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#121): Not here — on Twitter. But don’t worry about it. It doesn’t seem to be catching on there, and I don’t have time to put into getting #helpfulgrizzly to trend on Twitter because I’ve got a huge marketing analysis report to get done by Tuesday.

    If only I had a grizzly to help.

  137. Weaselboy
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s educational Mark Trail strip, in which Mark explains how grizzly bears can help you escape from nicotine gum chewing killers.

  138. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy-Give us something else and we won’t have to peck that worm of yours.

    MT-Mark, I will see your bear and raise you a pack of WOLVES.

  139. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    MW-Except I will be getting paid for my meddling and be viewed as helpful instead of a nuisance.

  140. Dale
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    JP

    The guy’s name is Sam Driver? Must be a clever play on words.
    Who taught him how to find a safe parking place?
    Oh, crap! Obviously, Judge Parker.

  141. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#136): Say hi to Joan Harris. Love them curvy red-heads.

  142. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#135): Mark is incapable of telepathy; telepathy requires the ability to think thoughts without voicing them.

  143. Mysterion
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail’s plan has one flaw: bears can’t aim rifles.

  144. Peanut Gallery
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#128):

    Is there an organization that is the opposite of Mensa?

    It’s called Densa.

  145. unclemike
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    “No paramedics, Scott!! They follow their rules, not ours.”

    If that doesn’t become a t-shirt soon, society needs to just kill itself.

    Also, I, too, am wildly curious about the kinds of rules one would live by that directly contradict a medical professional’s.

  146. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Dilbert’s “Anal Ysis” has me scratching my head in consternation. There’s Ysis (Isis) Barreto, but I can’t imagine why Dilbert creator Scott Adams has a grudge against a judoka from Venezuela.

    And no, I’m unaware of any connection between Ms. Barreto and Judge Parker artist Eduardo Barreto.

  147. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#62):
    Dear Wendy,
    My very GGG girlfriend balks at one thing: I want to cover her body in mashed-up salmon squares and lick them off. But she says that she just can’t stand the smell. I can’t get this fantasy out of my mind! How can I persuade her to give this a try?
    -Salmon Are So Sexy, Yes?

    Dear SASSY,
    I’ve found that adding a bit more lemon and thyme to a fish recipe can help to diminish that fishy smell. And are you using fresh salmon, not frozen? These little details make a difference, you know!
    -Wendy

    Dear Wendy,
    I consider myself a proud Scotsman, and nothing excites me more than wearing my kilt and then bedding my wife. I want to take her out dinner while wearing my kilt with nothing underneath, as tradition dictates, but my wife has objected, saying that my knees are too plump. I am a large-boned man, but I truly want to spend an evening in public with my wife, wearing that kilt and hanging freely underneath it. I find this very exciting, so how can I fulfill this desire?
    -I Am Needy

    Dear IAN,
    Lowering the hem on a skirt is easier than you might think! Simply take out the old stitching carefully, and iron out the creases. Create a much smaller new hem, stitch it up, and you should have a more suitable length that will better favor your legs. Happy sewing!
    -Wendy

  148. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#132): Maybe if he just let Nellybelle write the comic…

  149. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Archie-But Dad, Betty is going to wear a skimpy bikini and a huge wave is going to knock her top off.

  150. Arrtist formerly known as Ben
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Nina is disgruntled because she and Scott haven’t yet been able to purchase their own private emergency medical army. They’re just not keeping up with the Drivers.

    MT: Oh please, let’s the bear get involved. In fact, give him a personal reason for helping Mark. “Al Chavez was a good friend of mine, and Gene Jackson getting arrested for his murder stinks to high Heaven. A waka waka!”

    MW: Just a reminder that while Mary plans to extend her tentacles to the private lives of many more people, the estranged son in the portrait remains out of her clutches.

    Ziggy: I thought this joke seemed very familiar too. I guess the carnivorous birds in Ziggy’s town are just that determined.

    WofI: I don’t have proof at hand, but it seems to me like Bung is just stealing old Norm Peterson-isms at this point.

    Crock: Rodeo Drive? And she’s in Northern Africa? Talk about a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

    RMMD: “Because they’ve got the best bottled water in town, numbnuts.”

    Drabble: “Watch where you aim those things” also works as dialogue in any strip where Abbey Spencer or June Morgan appear.

    GT: Bobby is easily the most flagrant asshole who’s ever played on any of Gil’s teams. Naturally he’ll get a full athletic scholarship, join the majors after two years, and no doubt wind up buying his own island somewhere.

    Phantom: I hope Victor and Ernesto don’t meet face to face. It’s always so embarrassing when you show up wearing the exact same outfit.

    DtM: “Where did Mr. Wilson learn all that German?”

    S-M: The comedy here is so lame that I could almost believe the play was still going on. “Three or Four Characters in Search of a Reason to Keep Reading.”

    Marvin: “Hey, I’ll do the scat humor here thankyouverymuch.”

    Archie: “Very funny, son. You know damn well I’ve got a court order keeping me from Betty and Veronica.”

  151. Arrtist formerly known as Ben
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#123):

    JP – I am not an expert on fashion, but I don’t think “baby poop mustard” is a suitable color for…basically anything, ever.

    Maybe if you have to change your baby’s diaper and won’t have time to change your own shirt afterwards, it could make good camouflage.

  152. Anachrosaurus
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    “My name is Peaches. You killed my father. Prepare to die!”

  153. Arrtist formerly known as Ben
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#73): Re A3G: I have to admit, if you or anyone else actually makes this movie, I’ll watch it.

  154. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#147): The Tilted Kilt just provides endless inspiration, doesn’t it?

    // Did the kilt make my knees look too plump? I always thought I looked better in short shorts, anyway.

  155. commodorejohn
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#131): That would explain a lot, come to think of it.

  156. tallyHO
    June 23rd, 2012 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#135):

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

    He’s Land Aquaman. Oddly, he doesn’t seem to speak with the largest of the animals but he should because it would beat canoeing.

  157. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#148): Incidentally, Nellybelle the jeep is now romantically involved with Goitrude, Doiby Dickle’s taxi cab from the 1940s Green Lantern series. (What, you thought Alan Scott was the only Golden Age DC character to catch teh gay?)

  158. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    A3G-No the card with Margo’s name on it. If I am going to have this baby then we need to call my publicist so she can make the official announcement.

  159. Winnie
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday’s Jumble: (spoiler alert if you are saving it for a rainy day)
    ~
    ~ What I’ve always liked about the Jumble is that each scrambled word has only one answer, and generally the solution also follows this rule. However, yesterday the answer could have just as easily been “grin and bare it” which makes sense, as “bare” sounds like “bear.”
    And Yogi is pretty much bare himself – that collar and tie don’t hide much.
    But maybe that would have been too edgy for a family comic feature.

  160. FOOBed again
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @Soccerhead (#111): I wondered about that. If she was really 16, she’d never have known a time when people just assumed everyone was straight.

  161. tallyHO
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    One of the weirdest things about some of the soap strips and the adventure strips (I’m looking at you, Mark Trail. D’oh! You like me looking at ya, don’tcha!)

    One of the weirdest things is how each days’ strips seems to come across as being written each day. It is as if the writer puts together one day’s worth of description and dialogue and sends it off to the artist.

    Liam brought up the fact that Margo is Scott’s publicist. We don’t know if or if he did not accept her services. (her professional services. (her platonic ones)) So, is she still his publicist? Is Tommie still a midwife? Did Nina’s father ever button his shirt back up?

    These aren’t things we need to know. I’m just not sure if the writer remembers them by the time the Sunday recap is published. And, even the Sunday recap changes some of the dialogue and sometimes adds a bonus new last panel.

    I just don’t know if they are truly written with continuity in mind.

  162. Cal
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Apparently, Edda has joined Dawn in the Purple-PJs-Pity-Parade.

  163. tallyHO
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Another thing:
    Nina has no clue where her phone is right now but she was sure that the business card of the person she ejected from her life is easily found by someone else, by Scott?

  164. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#141): To me she will always be Saffron/Bridget/Yolanda, or Our Mrs. Reynolds.

  165. tallyHO
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    A3G:

    Nina:
    “Scott, I know we haven’t spoken with each other in weeks but we are on the same page about this child, right?

    “If it isn’t born sporting a stylish leather jacket we are giving it up for adoption, right?”

    Scott:
    We do have our rules, Nina.

  166. odinthor
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @cartooncritic2544 (#71):

    Sometimes Trudeau seems to fall in love with certain characters for (presumably) reasons of his own–Alex and Jeff Redfern come to mind–and (pace those discerning worthies who are into the characters) forgets in spinning out his stories that his feelings evidently draw to some degree on something that hasn’t been supplied to readers (at least, to readers such as myself). It’s food for thought when one cares more about transient characters in, say, Gil Thorp or The Meaning of Lila or, heaven help us, Luann or 9 Chickweed Lane (Rudyard, where are you?) than about certain of the long-term characters in Doonesbury.

  167. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @unclemike (#145):

    Also, I, too, am wildly curious about the kinds of rules one would live by that directly contradict a medical professional’s.

    Just look up “alternative medicine.” Lots of examples.

  168. J
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    What really strikes me about the two Ziggy panels isn’t the repeated joke, it’s the differences in the art. It’s as if the Tom Wilson jr. of four years ago actually cared about his work and wanted to put in the time and effort to do a good job. I expect the next time we see this joke it’ll be represented entirely by stick figures and Microsoft clip art.

  169. Snarkotix Addict
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    MW This is Mary’s ultimate fantasy. She’s thrilled to think that now she can meddle in the lives of so many, all at once! After all, what must be the circulation of the Santa Royale Gazette? Thousands Dozens, right? And all from the comfort of her cozy Charterstone apartment. No need to venture out. No handing out cookies to sick people at the hospital. No trips to the diner to manage the lives of waitresses or rescue abducted children. No more Bum Boat dinners. No more dates with Dr. Jeff. No more gossiping with Toby at the pool parties. Ah, yes, it’s paradise!

    BG&SS The Parson laughs because he knows Snuffy is beyond redemption and damned no matter what!

    A3G I hope there is a rule book in Nina’s purse, too. Just in case.

    A3G Later, that same day, Tommie enters and exclaims “Lordy, we got to have a doctor! I don’t know nuthin’ ’bout birthin’ babies!”

    CS Yes, Pam is turning out to be just as big a cheap asshole as her old man. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

    FW The house will develop a toxic mold tumor while they’re away.

    MT Of all the improbable things that Mark could just happen to stumble upon (a loaded gun, a signal flare, a bullet-proof vest, a cell phone, a gum wrapper), he finds a helpful grizzly?

  170. tallyHO
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G:
    Nina>: If he or she doesn’t call us Mumsy or Papa by the end of the week then we are sending ‘em off to boarding school A.S.A.P, right?

    Scott: Now don’t be hasty, Nina. We can get an au pair or a run-of-the-mill bourgeoisie nanny to deal with an insubordinate child.

    Nina: Gasp!

  171. Little Guy
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @cartooncritic2544 (#71): I’m having a different reaction. I haven’t been following too closely, but this wedding arc has been as meh as it gets, and I like it. In context, the FOOB Lizthonypocalypse. At least no long-standing characters were assassinated so that Alex could get married to Whathisname.

    JP: Quick, Sam! Buy Cedar-Sinai!

    A3G: Gage and DeSoto would like a word with you.

    S4th: Okay, Ces, make it work.

    FW: This is when Ohio disappears from fracking and earthquakes, right?

  172. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#171): I like the wedding arc. It feels the tiniest bit truncated, but I do like the fact that there was no drama and and contrived excitement – just two people who make each other better.

  173. tallyHO
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @J (#168):

    Wasn’t Tom Wilson, Senior still around four years ago?

    For what it is worth, Ziggy is a single panel gag cartoon that has been made for decades. Today’s joke was new to someone. I hadn’t seen it before.

    But, plagiarizing ones self…or ones dad…or a sign of an ongoing hallucination that the pigeons are demanding for Tom Wilson, Junior to feed them meat and wine.

    Oh my.

    Seriously though, I think in his heart of hearts, TW, Jr. is just messing with Josh. Is it a mere coincidence that Josh recalled the previous comic?

    I’ll be honest, I’ll forget today’s comic exists by this evening. Poof! Ziggy Be Gone!
    But, Josh remembered one from four years ago? Puh-lease. It is impossible for anyone to recall any Ziggy comic in anything other than generalities. It is a scientifically proven fact.
    You don’t have to be a member of the Ziggerati to realize there’s no reason to want to be a member of the Ziggerati.

  174. Arabella
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    FW: Won’t Cayla be at the house while Les and Summer are gone? Doesn’t she live there now? (Or does she just store her high school yearbooks there)
    What a surprise when she discovers the utilities have been cut off, and mail discontinued! Hilarious misunderstandings ensue.

  175. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    MT — “A grizzly… maybe he can help!”

    “Of course I’ll help, Mark! Don’t you recognize your old friend Smokey?”

    http://www.smokeybear.com/

  176. seismic-2
    June 23rd, 2012 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “No paramedics, Scott!! They follow their rules, not ours.”
    “No, Nina, you’re confused. The paramedics are the ones who rescue people and take them to the hospital. The paratroopers are the ones who jump out of airplanes and shoot people. Their rules won’t apply here.”

  177. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 23rd, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#50): The Alex/Toggle romance doesn’t really thrill me in itself. One thing I do appreciate about the wedding is JJ Caucus and her pet burnout showing up as bartenders at the rehearsal dinner, plus Alex noticing and not making a stink out of it. It may (or may not) be Trudeau’s acknowledgment that he’s spent years beating up on JJ for no particular reason.

  178. Droopy Says
    June 23rd, 2012 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#174): I think the idea of the Kilimanjaro trip is that Les and Cayla are on some sort of honeymoon, with Les having won the African trip for two in a raffle last year. Summer announced she was joining them after she saw the latest Dead Lisa tape–that “follow your heart” announcement of hers, which never did announce how a kid who does nothing but smirk and shoot hoops could afford a ticket.

    I hope I’m wrong about all this, because that would mean I haven’t really been paying attention to this strip. I will take any sign of good mental health I can find.

  179. Droopy Says
    June 23rd, 2012 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#177): That final mention of Black Sabbath makes me think Trudeau is about to start beating up on Toggle about his parentage.

  180. Lenoxus
    June 23rd, 2012 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    So, will the “No paramedics” shirt depict Josh’s tattooed ass?

    Please?

  181. Erich Clapton
    June 23rd, 2012 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#18): Recently came across a1984 picture of myself with two shipmates sailing on Narragansett Bay in Newport, RI. Man, were they short! And so were the shorts I was wearing. Ferguson is on call waiting to sue me.

  182. Snarkotix Addict
    June 23rd, 2012 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @Arrtist formerly known as Ben (#150): MW: Just a reminder that while Mary plans to extend her tentacles to the private lives of many more people, the estranged son in the portrait remains out of her clutches.

    Hmmm… the estranged son. He comes up in discussion sometimes, but I don’t know the story. (I haven’t been reading Mary Worth for 100 years or however long she’s been meddling.) Are there “Archives of Mary Worth” available, so that I can catch up on him? What’s his name? Wouldn’t it be great if he’s been writing to advice columnists for, like, 30 years about his mother? And that his next letter goes to “Wendy”?

  183. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#178): Unfortunately – not for you – Cayla isn’t going. Les won the trip back in the quckly-forgotten raffle for the athletic department arc. Cayla probably wanted to go, but Summer has ousted her so she can “follow her heart” with her father. I thought Cayla lived there, but she seems to be dropping by – why her yearbook is there I don’t know, unless she and Lisa were in the same class? I didn’t read it during the Lisa years.

  184. Liam
    June 23rd, 2012 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    MT-”And look with the grizzly is Brick Tamland of the Action 4 News Team.”

    A3G-”No the other one for the abortion clinic. Those people follow our rules.”

  185. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 23rd, 2012 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#182): The “estranged” part isn’t explicitly stated, and there’s a good chance the various Worth writers have never even thought of it. Like Gil and Mimi Thorp, she theoretically has a son. That son is practically never seen or heard of, though. It’s not hard to fill in some juicy details.

  186. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 23rd, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#182): While we’re on the subject of estranged relatives, whatever happened to Mary’s crippled grandson, Denny? The link below shows a variety of images* from the 1930s — including a 1939 Mary Worth daily strip:

    http://images.tcj.com/2012/01/MaryWorth0001-650×638.jpg

    *I apologize in advance for the small size — it was the best I had on hand (that’s what SHE said!).

  187. J
    June 23rd, 2012 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#173): he was indeed alive four years ago, but he handed the strip off to his son in 1987.

    what?

    i looked him up on wikipedia, of course i don’t know ziggy trivia off the top of my head. what do you take me for?

  188. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#186): Not that it makes a helluva lot of difference, but the Mary Worth daily strip is from March 11, 1940.

  189. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#186): Mary Worth was a push-cart vendor? I love it.

  190. Droopy Says
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#183): Wow, that’s sad. For Batiuk. Creepy Les will go on vacation without the woman he loves? Did Batiuk offer any kind of explanation? Because in the real world, this is the sort of thing that could kill a romance. Or whatever it is going on between those two, which for Cayla seems to be resignation to a fate worse than death.

  191. tallyHO
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#189):

    Don’t let that grandmotherly appearance fool you.

    After she broke down–and I mean broke down Nola Whathername, the Mighty Morphin’ Power Hussy, a woman who “got what she wants”, a woman who will defy any article written in the Atlantic that says she can’t get what she wants, I realized Mary is a force to be reckoned with.

    She’s a force that wrecks the lives of home wreckers. And, she does it as a wreak-reational activity.

    You don’t mess with somebody like that.

    Since she dealt with Nola, has anyone seen her? No. Mary Worth knocked the L.A. out of that girl, and broke her down. All that is left is a shell. And maybe a fish. No. More than likely it is a shellfish. That’s not so bad. Unless Mary Worth did what she did with those Apples and sold her.

    //i just wanted to see how far that could be improvised. Like, a Guest Star in a Mark Trail Comic, thanks for bearing with me.

  192. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#190): Nope. Cayla is staying there and “handling the wedding” while the Moores head off to Kilimanjaro. I guess it’s supposed to be their last hoorah before she heads off to college and WBNA fame or whatever. Doesn’t even seem to have occurred to Les that he might have taken Cayla.

  193. Comcis Fan
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#147):

    Brilliant! My nomination for long-but-worth-it COTW!

  194. John C Fremont
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#138): Your Ziggy comment inspired me to find my old NatLamp with A Child’s Garden Of Castration Anxieties. Since I couldn’t find it, I’ll have to trust that The Internet got this quote right;

    The birdie on my windowsill when I awoke today,
    Was busy with his morning meal, a-nibbling away.

    His meal was pink and curly, and fat and fresh and firm.
    He must have been up early a-catching such a worm.

    Then from beneath my quilted sheet I felt a painful throbbin’.
    While I had been a sleepyhead, that bird had been cock robbin’.

  195. kkarenb
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#183): I seem to remember reading somewhere that the Kilimanjaro trip was going to be Les and Cayla’s honeymoon trip. What happened with that? Was Cayla originally planning to go and then was displaced by Summer? Does Batiuk realize that Summer can’t just use Cayla’s airline ticket? I can’t wait to see what his research reveals for this trip.

    @Peanut Gallery (#144): Mark and his crew belong in the lowest 2% of the 98%.

  196. seismic-2
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#108): You’re right – even if Cayla and her daughter aren’t living with Les and Summer, what happened to the other two people (dead Lisa’s kid and his wife, the murdered anchorman’s daughter) who were living there during the big basketball championship a few months ago? When did they move out?

    Most importantly, who inherits the house when Les falls down the mountain? Yeah, most likely it will be Sam Driver.

  197. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#189): Sure. She was originally “Apple Mary”. There’s even a movie about that particular incarnation. Interesting backstory. She was a wealthy, high society dame, whose husband died somehow, Crash of ’29, Great Depression, leaving her in poverty, subsisting by selling apples on a pushcart. Nevertheless, she was always cheerful, dispensing wisdom and comfort with her fruit. Eventually some of her dead husband’s assets turned out to have some value after all, and she became the financially independent busybody we know today.

  198. tallyHO
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#193):

    That is funny. I totally agree.

    It does bring up a question that I don’t believe I’ve seen an answer to:

    Why does Wilbur write a column called “Ask Wendy”?

    He doesn’t really look like a Wendy. Every Wendy I knew hated mayonnaise, too.

    What gives with this “Wendy”? Does he wear a red-haired wig with Pippy Longstocking-like pigtails when he answers readers’ questions?

  199. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#198): Well, all the agony aunts are women – or pretend to be. And would you write to “Ask Wilbur”?

  200. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#195): Actually, Les asked Cayla if she’d like to go on that trip for their honeymoon, and she turned him down, claiming, in a bizarre turn of phrase, that she’s a valley girl. For some reason, Batiuk showed Cayla from the start as not being interested in going.

    Of course, that’s to counter the claims that all of you are making, that’s it’s appalling that Les is taking his daughter rather than his fiancee on this international trip.

  201. Dale
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    Funky -

    How long does it take to get a passport?

    Also, for Tanzania, maybe a visa and maybe a series of innoculations?

  202. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#200): I kind of remember that now, the “valley girl” thing. Okay, then, he’s acquitted of ignoring her.

  203. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    It can take as little as 2 weeks to get a passport if you’re willing to pay the expedited fee. Even if you’re not – I didn’t last year – mine came in about 3. You need a visa, but you can get one actually at the point-of-entry in Tanzania, though you’ll probably have to wait in line. That won’t be a problem.

  204. Now serving breakfast all day
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    I’m sorry but Mary Worth should read; “EXCEPT MY ANSWERS MAY HELP BOTH OCTOGENARIANS WHO READ THE COLUMN IN IN THE PAPER.”

  205. Droopy Says
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#192): The whole FW African trip is bizarre. Cayla won’t go because she has to arrange the wedding, which I guess means picking out new shades of gray balloons for the reception at Monotony’s Pizza. Creepy Les won’t comment on why he’s going alone–to tap into the spirit of Hemingway? Summer announces she’s following her heart by going with him; no explanation of how she can afford the trip, when she’s got college expenses to consider, much less why her heart wants her to be alone with Daddy. If she’s lucky she’ll get abducted by Tarzan, or the Mummy, or some other famous African uncovered by Batiuk’s in-depth research.

  206. Snarkotix Addict
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#197): Sure. She was originally “Apple Mary”. There’s even a movie about that particular incarnation. Interesting backstory. She was a wealthy, high society dame, whose husband died somehow, Crash of ’29, Great Depression, leaving her in poverty, subsisting by selling apples on a pushcart. Nevertheless, she was always cheerful, dispensing wisdom and comfort with her fruit. Eventually some of her dead husband’s assets turned out to have some value after all, and she became the financially independent busybody we know today.

    Apples? Huh. And I was so hoping it was a salmon cart. Higher end, you know.

  207. demoncat
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    mw seeing mary joy knowing she will have new people in her power shows what some one who is high or a cult leader looks like. though santa royals are happy that they will be given a day off from mary meddling . ziggy. poor ziggy not even the birds like him when they are complaining about what he is throwing them. as ziggy dreams of throwing that one bird complaining the remains of his comrads

  208. The Ridger
    June 23rd, 2012 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#205): Isn’t a trip for two? I don’t think it’s costing either of them anything except passport/visa – and Summer got a full scholarship to Kent State, didn’t she? I mean, the Moores are like the poor man’s Driver-Spencers, aren’t they?

  209. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    MT: While I agree that the bear is a promising development, let’s not forget what has happened so far.

    Mark was peacefully canoeing away from the isolated island — where the bush pilot lives so that people who want him to fly them somewhere can easily reach him (providing they have a plane). The bush pilot and his girlfriend buzzed Mark, causing him to fall out of the canoe, which they considered the end of their job, and went away saying, “That ought to take care of him.”

    They then forgot that they’d decided it was over, and went back to make sure. Mark escapes to the island, where he roams for a while until getting the idea that maybe they’d left the plane unguarded (which they had) and heading off to use it as a means of escape.

    Then he forgot that he was going to use the plane to escape after seeing some rocks in the water, which he believes will take him to the mainland, because this island happens to only be about 30 feet away from the mainland, but before he can cross, he gets shot at and runs back to the island.

    Back at the island he discovers a grizzly bear, which he thinks might help him, because grizzly bears are helpful in pretty well any situation (Twitter: #helpfulgrizzly).

    So what I’m saying is, considering that Mark has the attention span of a brain-damaged gerbil, do we really think he’s going to remember the bear tomorrow?

  210. Sgt. Stoned
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    MW: In 50 years, Mary will be ready to dabble in that other new-fangled invention, the internet.

  211. teenchy
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#142): Perhaps I should’ve written “What the hell? Mark Trail thinks he’s Aquaman?”

  212. tallyHO
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    I don’t normally do this anymore but I will in this instance.

    If there is supposed to be a Funky Vacation being taken by that smug so-and-so to Africa and his beloved “doesn’t wish to go” because she is a “valley girl” then I plead confusion. I may be incorrect but I thought Africa was bigger than a big mountain.
    Plus, I would think there’s some interesting area around said mountain that someone may find interesting….oh….say perhaps something valley-like may be near the mountain.

    Now here’s what I’m gonna do in a snark-free missive.

    Batuik, if you catch wind of this (and you will because the power of beans is awesome):
    You are going to stretch this preparation plotline out forever, like a tv soap opera and a b-story during the summer. So, why not ask your readers to submit to taking this mountain climbing vacation with Smug-man, his daughter and have the lucky winner of a contest keep Cayla company as they explore areas around the mountain.

    If you love publicity so much: I’m giving you magnificent marketing advice. All you need to do is pick a winner, draw that winner as a character (after the appropriate paperwork is signed, of course) and make the prize for the lucky winner a real world trip to Ohio or some place so that they can experience a vacation as their drawn counterpart travels to a wonderful location in Africa.

    So, to recapitulate:
    Hold a contest, allow all of the characters in this quasi-family to go on a vacation to Africa and choose onewinner who will be rendered as a cartoon charact…er…uh…a guest star in the wonderful, classically realistic strip “Funky Winkerbean”. Then let this new character accompany the Moores to Mt. Kilimanjaro.

    Why there’s probably people out there right now who’s lives are waiting to be fufilled by appearing in the comic strip.

    The only thing I ask if you do this is simple:

    1) Bonus points if the character is a long lost cousin of some characters, like, I dunno, some one (I don’t know the characters well enough to say which one);
    2) I don’t want anything; I’m waiving rights on the idea; i’m just that apathetic;
    3) However, I do care enough that I do hope you don’t feel the need to take this guest star character and give them anything that would make their comic book self go through anguish. exnay on the ancerkay.

    What benefit is this to you: you’d be doing something cool for comic strips everywhere. It could be a Big Trend that promotes readership. This would be beneficial for your strip and all strips. By extension, it would be beneficial for newspapers, too.

    Again, I want nothing in return except for mainly the safety and well being of the cartoon version of the winner. That’s all.

    That’s all.
    You’re welcome.

  213. cartooncritic2544
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#119): I don’t know. So many writers have demonstrated how easy it is to go waaaaay too far in the other direction, introducing the most contrived and easily-solved conflicts into the characters’ relationship just to show how “realistic” and “true to life” their writing is. There’s a middle ground. Yes, some people go to far in the other direction. However, given the characters, their disparate backgrounds, the ages and their lives so far, it goes too far in the other direction to have had no conflict in a relationship before they marry. And bad writing on the part of another cartoonist doesn’t mean Trudeau was on his game here.

  214. BERTMARCH
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    MW: The dark tendrils of Mary’s influence and lust for power over the lives of other people shall continue to grow as she is emboldened by her tenure as an advice columnist. Soon she will have to power to meddle in the lives of peole she’s never met by invading their dreams, invading their conscious thought. She shall become the Great Meddler and all show worship her and take her advice or be crushed like an ant as she approaches godhood.

  215. tallyHO
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    Oh yeah. I’m not great with geography.

    If it turns out Mt. Kilimanjaro is South of Cleveland or East of Duluth or some place then forget I suggested anything. I would be hesitant about anyone wanting to vacation near there if that’s the case.

  216. cartooncritic2544
    June 23rd, 2012 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#166): Sometimes Trudeau seems to fall in love with certain characters for (presumably) reasons of his own–Alex and Jeff Redfern come to mind–and (pace those discerning worthies who are into the characters) forgets in spinning out his stories that his feelings evidently draw to some degree on something that hasn’t been supplied to readers (at least, to readers such as myself).

    I have a feeling that Alex and Jeff are based in part on aspects of his own kids and that, combined with the fact he’s now in his sixties, makes it harder for Trudeau to write them as convincingly as he does the baby boomer characters.

  217. Peanut Gallery
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#199): I wouldn’t write to “Ask Wilbur,” but I’d write to “Ask Mr. Ed.” Go right to source and ask the horse!

  218. Peanut Gallery
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#217): Right to the source, dang it.

  219. Charterstoned
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    With apologies to John Prine

    Dear Wendy, Dear Wendy …
    My baby’s due now!
    I’m as dumb as an ox and as big as a cow
    My husband’s dumb too, and my midwife’s the same
    I need help from the pros, but I won’t play their game.
    Signed It’s Hopeless

    It’s Hopeless, It’s Hopeless
    You have no complaint
    It will all work out fine if you know how to faint
    So listen up Hopeless, and listen up good
    You just stay in denial and swoon when you should.

    Dear Wendy, Dear Wendy…
    My life is IN peril
    THERE are killers a-comin’, and THIS grizzly’s all feral,
    But I’m hoping he HELPS me, ‘cause I’ve run OUT of plans
    IT could work if MY accents this bear underSTANDS.
    Signed It’s Growling

    It’s Growling, It’s Growling
    You have no complaint
    It will all work out fine if you know how to faint
    So listen up Growling, and listen up good
    You just stay in denial and swoon when you should.

    Dear Wendy, Dear Wendy…
    The pool party’s on
    But the party food’s off, with the Salmon Squares gone
    ‘Cause the neighbor that brings them writes my column instead
    Now my stomach is growling, ‘cause it wants to be fed.
    Signed Be-Wilbured

    Be-Wilbured, Be-Wilbured
    You have no complaint
    It will all work out fine if you know how to faint
    So listen up Wilbured, and listen up good
    You just go on a diet and swoon when you should.

    Dear Wendy, Dear Wendy
    Could we but be wed
    Could you live on my boat, could you sleep in my bed
    Could we spend our last years as a husband and wife
    Could you meddle with me for the rest of my life?
    Signed Jeff Cory

    Jeff Cory, Jeff Cory
    You have no complaint
    Well, I’m back on the job, but a Wendy I ain’t
    Still I’m happy to help, and I’ll tie every knot
    If you promise me sammiches, I will be hot.

  220. Charterstoned
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    Signed…I’m Wilbur

  221. Mr. O'Malley
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#125): Edmund Bentley’s son was a talented cartoonist.

  222. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#217): Exactly right, Peanut! He’ll give you the answer that you’ll endorse. Oh, may I call you Peanut? No?

    That’s ok, Mr. Peanut then, anyway… oh, that’s trademarked already. How about Mr. Gallery? Good. You know, there’s nothing wrong with a little formality, Mr. Gallery. I myself prefer to be addressed as Reverend Scudder. You know, I worked hard to pay for the printer to print out the pdf file of my ordination from the internet. And the fact that Bishop Hensley had already been dead more than a year when he signed it makes it even more special! Ordained from beyond the grave!

  223. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#221): Do you think McEldowney’s son (or daughter) will be a talented clerihewist?

  224. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#9): 9CL — I used to think I was a clueless wuss when I was young. But compared to Edda and Dawn, I was Emma Peel.

    Compared to Amos and Wilbur, I was John Steed. Pity we never met.

  225. Droopy Says
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#208): You’ve got me. My brain must have glazed over, because I was sure Creepy and Fishface were going to flee Dick Tracy make the trip together. Maybe Summer got some all-expense-paid scholarship, too, the kind that covers not only tuition but dorm expenses, textbooks and everything else a Specialest Snowflake could need.

    Could Summer get on the package vacation deal without her dad knowing? I suppose anything is possible in Cancerville. But I wonder if Les will get to the Kilimanjaro Hilton and find they’re pre-registered for the Bridal Suite as “Mr. and Mrs. Les Moore.”

  226. Dale
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail is neither Tarzan nor Dr. Doolittle, so how will he explain the situation to the bear? However, this is one time he should SHOUT everything. If he surprises the bear, it will kill him before they have a chance to talk.

    Problem: He will be shouting, “Hello bear that I found in the nearby cave where I am hiding from killers who want to kill me.”

  227. Dale
    June 23rd, 2012 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#203):

    I’m surprised that a passport is that fast these days. Was that an original or a renewal?
    I let mine lapse some years ago, figuring that if I ever need one again, someone else will be paying for it.
    Don’t they require things like a notarized DNA sample and a videotape of an anal probing?

  228. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#221): His son Nicolas Clerihew(!) Bentley also worked as an EVILSCARYCLOWN for a time.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#222): The name is Peanut Gallery, but “You Can Call Me Al”!

  229. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    MT: Perhaps Mark’s plan to elude the bush pilot and his girlfriend involves using the bear in the same way that Ulysses used sheep to escape from the Cyclops. This could prove to be interesting.

  230. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#228): ” The name is Peanut Gallery, but “You Can Call Me Al”!”

    AI. I suspected as much. Alan Turing’s 100th birthday, too. It all comes together. Please tell me Asimov’s Laws of Robots apply.

  231. capt k\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#110): jp,maybe judge will fly by an save day could be his next bestseller

  232. Cloudbuster
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#192): Or his soon-to-be-stepdaughter. Summer gets a dream vacation. Kei$ha gets to stay home and scrub the tapestries or something.

  233. Cloudbuster
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#215): People are most familiar with the Mt. Kilimanjaro in Kenya. Lesser known, but still touted by many of its employees as one of the great wonders of the modern theme restaurant world, is the safari-themed Mt. Kilimanjaro Restaurant on the outskirts of Canton, OH. The contest fine print very clearly explains that the trip for two is for dinner at that restaurant. Hopefully any confusion will be quickly resolved.

  234. Dale
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#229):

    If Mike and Elizabeth are close enough to the cave when the bear charges out, they will panic and drop the gun. Mark grabs the gun. Murder case all wrapped up. New story.

  235. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#230): Since A.I. stands for “Artificial Intelligence” and A-r-t is the first name of Paul “You Can Call Me Al” Simon’s former partner Art Garfunkel, I believe you may have something there. Especially since Paul’s ex-wife Carrie Fisher appeared in “Star Wars” with a couple of droids.

  236. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#234): Makes sense. If I had a high-power rifle and saw a bear charging at me, the first thing I’d do is drop the weapon. (This also seems to be the action of choice for many characters in movies when surprised by an antagonist.)

  237. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$$$
    June 23rd, 2012 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: Man the two panels really depict the drastic downturn in Ziggy’s fortunes!!
    Four years later Ziggy can neither afford bird seed, hats, pants or even shoes.

    ..and the birds are even less sympathetic to Ziggy sharing his sole sustance with them.

  238. tallyHO
    June 24th, 2012 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#226):

    Mark Trail is neither Tarzan nor Dr. Doolittle, so how will he explain the situation to the bear?

    Ha! This is probably the result of too many viewings of Winnie The Pooh cartoons but I could now I can see the bear being hospitable and offering Mark a cup of honey and see them sitting and chatting.

    But, obviously, the most realistic is what you describe: the quick death of Mark Trail.

    What would be hilarious (if hilarious things could ever intentionally done in Mark Trail) is that the bear instantly regrets killing Mark.

    Bear: “Oh no! I didn’t mean to do this! But, I startle so easily if my sleep is disturbed! *sob*

    Damn you, killer instinct! Damn you for making me take the life of the greatest friend of the wild life since comedian Andy Dick!


    The prime visual:
    The anguished bear holds Mark’s limp body in his arms as his shouts this lament, a la Superman holding the body of Supergirl.*

    *spellcheck doesn’t believe in Supergirl yet is a devoted follower of Superman and Spiderman.

  239. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 24th, 2012 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#194): from memory:

    Wipe That Lear Off Your Face

    The Pobble that has no dong
    Once had one excessively vast
    But his uncle Roberto, one callico time
    Took it off with a mixture of beeswax and lime
    To use on his boar for a mast
    (An act which was morally wrong)

    The Pribble that has no dork
    Once had one as cute as a cob
    But his half-cousin Clarence McClovis McClutter
    Thought a carving knife perfect for smearing on butter
    And utterly bungled the job
    (Which proves that one should use one’s fork)

    The Porbul that has no dink
    Once had one as good as you
    But his parents neglected to keep their young sprout
    From diddly doodly dinkling about
    And it fell off one day, in the loo
    (Which gives one occasion to think).

    Sean Kelly. Poetic genius.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#197): She was originally “Apple Mary”. There’s even a movie about that particular incarnation.
    You don’t mean LADY FOR A DAY, do you?

    @Charterstoned (#219): HA! (Signed, Dear Muffaroo)

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#222): You never know when being ordained will pay off. My sister bought a diploma from a mill that certified her as a preacher (thinking she might save on her taxes thereby), back in the 70s, and earlier this month, she performed my niece’s wedding.

  240. The Ghost of Jarrod
    June 24th, 2012 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#110):

    In Re: JP: There is no question how this will go. This is Judge Parker. The only question is whether Sam’s reward will be uncut diamonds, a billion-dollar bill, or a solid-gold car.

  241. Mr. O'Malley
    June 24th, 2012 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#228): When I was a small child, my family had very little in the way of possessions. One thing we did have, though, was a Nicolas Bentley anthology. I’m not really sure where it came from. It might have been a present from some more well-to-do relative.

    As well as being a cartoonist, he wrote humourous prose and verse, including clerihews. One that sticks in my mind after all these years is

    Cecil B. de Mille
    Rather against his will
    Was persuaded to leave Moses
    Out of the Wars of the Roses

  242. DAC
    June 24th, 2012 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    @Neal (#130): It was the dimwitted Mister Peterman who was outraged that someone would rip off a Ziggy. :)

  243. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 24th, 2012 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#239): The screenplay for Frank Capra’s “Lady for a Day” (and the remake “Pocketful of Miracles”) was based on the short story “Madame La Gimp” by Damon Runyon. The latter would make a great nickname for Mary Worth, don’t you think?

  244. Droopy Says
    June 24th, 2012 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#234): If Mike and Elizabeth are close enough to the cave when the bear charges out, they will panic and drop the gun. Mark grabs the gun. Murder case all wrapped up.

    Sheriff appears, sees Trail holding the rifle, arrests him for threatening to kill Mrs. Chavez and the bush pilot.

    Spiderzero: Did I call it, and Generic Brand is a supervillain in disguise? Or has Peter Parker realized that as villains go, a porn-stached ham is about all he can handle? I mean, he’s just been defeated by an idiot who forgot that he came to the theater to disrupt the play (which he did) and not to Do Something about Spiderboy. Come on, what kind of supervillain makes his getaway without at least trying to abduct MJ? “My dear, I want the secret of your incredibly terrible acting! With such a weapon in my hands, entire nations will fall to me!”

    Creepy Les: Batiuk’s research has revealed there are no hotels near Mount Kilimanjaro. Either that or he’s just revealed that Fishface is a hooker.

    Smug Parker: The Satanic Avery, after tempting Sam Parker with untold wealth and fame, falls from grace. Humbled after losing his smirk and sunglasses, Avery will see the error of his ways and give all he possesses to Sam, requiring nothing in exchange. It’s what “Paradise Lost” would have been if Milton had written about Sam Parker instead of some piker like God.

  245. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 24th, 2012 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#243): So Nathan Detroit and Mary Worth are first cousins once removed. (However, no one wants to admit being related to Harry the Horse!)

  246. Lisa
    June 24th, 2012 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    This card? The ace of spades? Why, yes that was my card! This pregnancy has been the most elaborate card trick set up ever.

  247. John C.
    June 24th, 2012 at 3:23 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Looks like Avery is doing a reenactment of the Rick Perry presidential campaign with umm…err commerce…, education…and umm the third one…uh…oops.

  248. Baka Gaijin
    June 24th, 2012 at 3:28 am [Reply]

    OMG! I can’t believe I laughed at Sunday’s Curtis. I wonder if this is what incipient senility feels like?

  249. Dale
    June 24th, 2012 at 3:29 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#244):

    The sudden story ending avoids little problems like:

    Mark has the gun. How does he get the three of them back to town?

    Mark has no proof they tried to kill him. Will they admit it, effectively admitting they killed Al?
    Someone heard shots. Of course, they were trying to save Mark from the popular local grizzly bear, after he pestered it.

    The gum wrapper is still worthless as evidence. Why, Mark actually accused Mike of murder and Mike let him go. Not exactly a ruthless killer.

  250. Droopy Says
    June 24th, 2012 at 3:39 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#249): True, although if the bear ends it in the woods, I doubt he’d attack the killers. Instead they would flee into the river–that broad, smooth river where they landed their floatplane–and get swept away by its swift and powerful currents. To be fished out of the waters downstream by the sheriff, of course, because how often does anyone actually die in a Mark Trail adventure?

  251. Dale
    June 24th, 2012 at 4:14 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#250):

    I didn’t say the bear would attack, only that they drop the gun. That solves Mark’s problems and the murder case. Except for problems like suggested at #249.

    Other than Al, people never get killed in Lost Sense land.
    Animals don’t die, but some get hurt.

    Time for a Name the Bear Contest.

  252. Mr. O'Malley
    June 24th, 2012 at 4:38 am [Reply]

    Sometimes in Family Circus we have the ever-popular “Billy leaves a dotted line all over the neighborhood” joke, which of course requires a neighborhood. Yesterday we saw that their house had teleported itself to an 8-acre lot where you almost need a telescope to see the next-door neighbor. And today it is surrounded by the cold darkness of the Oort Cloud.

    MT: Around here poison oak is a native plant, so it doesn’t fit in with the other stuff about invasive species.

    Luann: But right now in Australia it is winter. People are booking themselves ski holidays.

    Lockhorns: Is Leroy watching The Simpsons?

    JP: I’m enjoying this extended death scene. “OOOOPS…” “SWOOSSSH!” “WHOAAA!” “WHAAAAA!” Sam must be deaf to ignore the screams, but … yeah.

    Careful with that vintage camera, Avery! It’s one of a kind!

  253. Texzilla
    June 24th, 2012 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    Notice how Nina’s hair goes into defensive mode in the last panel. Suddenly popping out defensive hair tusks like Wolverine popping his claws.

  254. Liam
    June 24th, 2012 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    MW-”Everything’s going as I have foreseen.”

    RMMD-”We can talk here. Here is a good place to talk.”

  255. Baka Gaijin
    June 24th, 2012 at 7:18 am [Reply]

    Ew. Mary’s set the coffee service on her meddle-erection. Don’t believe me? Do you see a table anywhere in that last panel? Life is brutal.

  256. I got food poisoning at Montoni\'s
    June 24th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    A3G – I can’t be the only one who noticed Nina got a completely different, shorter hairstyle in mid-sentence.

    Her hair follows her rules, not ours.

  257. I got food poisoning at Montoni\\\'s
    June 24th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    MW – Why is Mary dressed as a judge? OH MY GOD SHE’S SNAPPED!!!!!!!

    And either she has freakishly long arms or Thing is holding up her paper.

  258. The Ridger
    June 24th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#227): Seriously there was a massive backlog of processing them a few years ago, but the State Dept caught so much flak they had to get it under control. If you send in the right documentation, they’re pretty fast about getting it out nowadays.

  259. Allen
    June 24th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    A3G: At first I thought how it was odd that Scott pulled out Tommie’s card first, as if she had absolutely no other cards in her purse or Scott was just extremely lucky. I mean, he didn’t even rummage through it or anything. It was as if there was NOTHING but Tommie’s card in it. But if you think about it, that makes perfect sense. Why have multiple people, who work regular business hours, when she could have one person she can bend to her will anytime and any day?

  260. Liam
    June 24th, 2012 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox-And to add insult to injury the bird is taking a dump on one of the burgers.

  261. Just Me
    June 24th, 2012 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    Perfect Apartment 3G spinoff. “He was a by the book paramedic. She was a midwife who played by her own rules….”

  262. Sugaryfun
    June 25th, 2012 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    This has probably been covered in previous comments (I don’t have time to read all 261 of them with two little ones under foot) but I’m going to say it again anyway because I figure it can’t hurt: If it weren’t for the fact that Tommie said in a previous strip that she hadn’t done any reading about pregnancy and had no idea what she was doing her comment would have made perfect sense. Paramedics aren’t trained to deal with normal births and their procedures aren’t necessarily the best thing for a woman in labour. For example, here in Australia, they get taught to cut the cord as soon as possible. There is a ton of research to show that it’s better for the baby to delay cord clamping until after the cord has stopped pulsing but they do it anyway because that’s the policy. Sometimes it really is better not to follow “their rules” if you have done your research and made an informed choice that conflicts with them.

  263. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    June 25th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    I’m being pursued by armed killers, let’s wake up this hibernating grizzly bear, that can only result in positive outcomes

    Looks like Mark has been reading the discarded Punisher comics that Rusty finds at abandoned campsites.

  264. crufl
    June 26th, 2012 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    Little does Nina know that her child will grow up to be a Rogue Paramedic that doesn’t play by the rules, roving across the land taking unharmed people to hospitals to be treated for nonexistent conditions, FOR JUSTICE.

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