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Mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Apartment 3-G cowboys

Apartment 3-G, 1/9/08

Say what you will about Cousin Blaze’s ludicrous yet omnipresent cowboy outfits, but at least they make it possible to differentiate him from every other same-general-age-as-the-A3G-girls-whatever-that’s-supposed-to-be-exactly dude in the strip. Despite the fact that Blaze is identified in the first panel narration box, the comic is so dependent on the western wear to mark him out out that here we get his casual indoor cowboy look — no hat or jacket, but still the shirt and bolo tie, plus hair that looks like he was wearing a cowboy hat mere moments ago. I love the little arrow things on his shirt; I know it’s a feeble attempt to represent cowboy stylings, but in panel three in particular it looks like it’s just pointing at his bolo tie, as if to say, “Can you believe he’s wearing this thing? I know!

Archie, 1/9/08

I suppose I should be bothered by the entire headache-inducing ill-drawn cubist nightmare in the third panel of this strip, but it’s Archie, so I can’t get too worked up. For some reason I can’t really stop thinking about the guitar, though. Why is it there? Is it Archie’s? Did he bring it over to serenade Veronica, to accompany the presentation of his tiny and oddly nonspecified gift, and then just lose interest when he was distracted by the Car Channel? And what’s all that stuff around the guitar neck — broken and tangled guitar strings, or a plant of some sort growing directly out of the wall of stately Lodge Manor?

Mark Trail, 1/9/08

[Cue the sitcom-style mute horn]: Wanh wanh waaaaaannnnnnhhhh

I mean, I’m glad and all that wacky radiology lab mixups are saving people’s lives rather than cruelly snuffing them out as in Funky Winkerbean, but come the hell on. It would be one thing if Luke Wilson’s X-rays had been mixed up with those of, say, Hollywood actor Luke Wilson, but do doctors really take a casual look at X-rays and say, “Whoops, looks like he isn’t terminal after all. Ha ha! I guess I was looking at it upside down! I don’t even think that’s a tumor — it’s probably his hypothalamus or some other whatsit. Maybe I should call him, right after I get back from golf.”

Family Circus, 1/9/08

Notice that in mom’s little fantasy, Billy is the only one praying. Is it because she believes that the Keane Kompound is the last bastion of piety in a fallen world of secular humanism? Or does she just know that Billy’s the dumbest kid in his class?

411 responses to “Mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Apartment 3-G cowboys”

  1. willethompson
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Is it the cubism, the DuChampism, or the whatthefuckism of the art that makes Veronica in panel two seem to have her breasts drawn upside down?

  2. gh
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    #1 willethompson –

    For the answer, see #18, barely yesterthread.

  3. Sandy
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Is he tripping over Archie, or angrily stomping on his lower spine?

  4. commodorejohn
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Heck, I’ma necropost this one.

    9CL – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: what a bitch.

    A3G – It’s nice of Blaze to put measurements of the distance between the center of his ribcage and his arms on his shirt, but we can’t see the numbers at this size.

    DT – um what…no seriously…what…testimony from a ghost…i…um…AUGH

    FC – Gee, this joke has only been floating around church mailing lists since, oh, I don’t know, 1962.

    FW – I…I actually chuckled at Funky Winkerbean today. Is this a sign of the end times?

    GA – Oh lordy, whoever said Barney Fife yesterthread was right. It’s gonna be some freakin’ architectural photojournalist or something, and the postman here is gonna go get all worked up and Andy will have to calm him down after a wacky misunderstanding/standoff with the camera dude.

    GT – Guest-starring Mike Hamar of The Red Green Show.

    Luann – …and we’re supposed to like these characters?

    MT – Heheheh, best plot twist ever.

    MW – Hey, look, it’s Vera! Also, at least Chester stayed the same size from panel to panel today. Maybe his size-shifting was just fidgeting from being around Mary or something.

    PBS – Holy…I didn’t actually get the reference, but I just realized I’m probably one of the few people my age who even know who that’s supposed to be a caricature of. Damn kids and their hip-hop.

    RMMD – This just keeps taking so many turns into the surreally stupid that I can’t even read that last line as sarcasm.

    SM – And you know what? She could.

    TDIET – The best part about this one is the kid’s response.

  5. MyEvilTwin
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    I love Mr. Lodge’s fur sweater. It’s very fashion-forward!

  6. The Battiuk Conspiracy
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    MT – Panel 2: Finally, someone in this strip recognizes the fundamental absurdity of their role there. I can only hope that, having discovered this fact, in tomorrow’s strip she will fling herself from the hospital window and, with any luck, crush Mark Trail in one, last posthumously heroic act.

  7. Madeline
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    With apologies to Michael Kors, the crotch on Mr. Lodge in panel 3 is insane.

  8. Bootsy
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Somehow I’m going to use the phrase “…until things settle down after my death” whenever I feel like startling someone.

  9. Darkefang
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Guess I’ll copy Commodorejohn since I didn’t hit today’s thread. Just don’t jump off any cliffs, or I’ll be in trouble.

    A3G: “Where’s Alan?”

    “He went to get me punch and got lost in the crowd.”

    Translation: Alan took a swing at a guy he thought was looking at him, fell down and is now passed out in Blayze’s bathtub with a lampshade on his head.

    “C’mon, there’s punch in the kitchen. And someone who wants to see you.”

    Oh boy, who… zzzzzzz…

    Archie: I’m not sure what’s more disturbing in today’s Archie: the fact that Mr. Lodge is stomping Archie a new mudhole, or the fact that he’s wearing a gorilla-fur sweater.

    Blondie: Something I find interesting is that Daisy stands on her hind legs to get a better view of the hot Dagwood on Blondie action. Do you get the idea that Daisy usually has a camcorder strapped to her head when this kind of thing is going on?

    GT: Andrew Gregory all but forces Steve Rosen to go to the bucket?

    In panel three, that kid in the front may be the ugliest Milford resident we’ve seen yet. Yes, that’s right, uglier than Andrew Gregory.

    MT: This Mark Trail plot is turning into a Coen brothers’ story, only with poorly drawn characters and stilted dialogue.

  10. Eric the DiscoBoy.
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Blaze’s hair makes him look like Javier Bardim in “No Country For Old Men.” Of course, Lu Ann is too stupid to realize she needs to run far, far away — which should make for great comedy.

  11. Deena in OR
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Josh- re: Blaze and his attire…

    Believe it or not, there are people outside of Texas who continue to consistently wear that style of clothing. Scary but true. Come out to eastern Oregon sometime and see. :)

    Granted, Blaze *does* live in NYC now, though.

  12. LogopolisMike
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Blaze has to look different than everybody else in the strip because if he didn’t, clueless LuAnn would eventually end up making out with her own cousin.

  13. Uncle Lumpy
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail

    So now we know why Luke Wilson’s got that evil bearded Igor homunculus hangin’ around — somebody‘s got to go kill Trail before he spills Luke’s arbitrary plot-device revelations all over God ‘n’ everyplace.

    Heh, heh — villains! Sure hope they don’t forget to kill Andy, though — damn dog’s too smart for his own good, gnameaghn?

  14. Uncle Lumpy
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    #12 L-Mike:

    The Powers family history of making out with cousins gave us LuAnn and Blaze in the first place!

  15. jules
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Archie: That is a HUGE guitar. I’m assuming, of course, that Mr. Lodge is so obscenely rich that he has the largest television he could find – and that makes that guitar about 7 feet tall and 3 feet wide, wouldn’t you say? Maybe it’s supposed to be a cello. Clearly the Archie Image Production Computer has never seen a cello. Okay, I confess, I have no idea what’s going on. Ha ha! Mr. Lodge tripped over Archie’s ass!

    A3G: I know I say this every time Blaze shows up, but it bears repeating: Everybody’s talkin at me…I can’t hear a word they’re sayin….only the echoes of my miiiiiiiind….

  16. The Uncola
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Hmmm… ok well…

    After 10 minutes of staring and probably necessitating a new prescription for my glasses, I figured out that behind the guitar is actually a plant (you can see the horizontal line where the top of the pot is).

    But more importantly, why are we concerned about that when this is in fact the worst-drawn guitar I have ever seen? The shape appears to be all wrong, there is no appreciable hole in it, so it probably sounds like crap. This looks more like a 2-D cutout of a guitar.

    But besides that, it appears the main reason Mr. Lodge is so mad is because Archie is interrupting his get-high-and-play-bad-versions-of-Pink-Floyd-on-the-flat-guitar-while-wearing-a-gorilla-hair-sweater time.

  17. Stephen
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Why isn’t the Family Circus mom paying attention to what Grandma’s reading? Mom better pray that Grandma doesn’t bring out the Beating Walker for that kind of insolence.

  18. Bullfrog
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    There’s also the fact that Veronica’s shoulder seems to have been dislocated by whatever’s in the gift box in panel one. A human shoulder should not be roughly parallel to the heart.

  19. Pozzo
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    “I think we can save this man’s life! I sure hope we can get to him before he bores the readership with days of leaden exposition!”

  20. thecrock
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Whenever I see Apartment 3G parties I feel like I’m watching the start to a Dirty Harry movie. I’m just waiting for the cowboy pimp to lure the sweet young lady into the kitchen where either murder, death by drinking oil, or and orgy awaits her.

  21. The Uncola
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    #9 Darkefang – Dammit, it took too long to write that and you got to the gorilla-fur comment first.

  22. TheMatt
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    I must be new to this “analyzing Archie comics” thing, but I’m concerned about the TV. It looks like it was installed 3 inches above the floor? Did he get it installed by the Oompa Loompas or something?

    Oh, but then I must ask what’s under his arm? Is it a tiny fish tank? And the guitar…the guitar! It has four strings and three frets? So it plays, what, one octave?

    My Gods…that third panel would make Salvador Dali weep. Someone ring MoMA.

  23. Sarah Marie
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    #4 commodorejohn:

    Pee-wee’s Playhouse?

  24. McManx
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    MT – Luke, the good news is that you’re going to live a long and normal life; the bad news is that you’re going to be doing life in the Lost Forest Penitentiary (cue “Deliverance” banjo music).

    FC – The relative size difference between Gramma and Mom seems to indicate that Gramma has once again mixed her osteoperosis medicine with growth hormones resulting in a hideous case of gigantism.

  25. Gal Friday
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    MT: I wonder what “the nearby city” is?

  26. Robert
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    Bil and Jeff Keane should cut a check to Jeannie Schulz; that prayer gag is pretty much a direct lift from a 70′s Peanuts Sunday with Peppermint Patty praying for a good grade on a test, and Franklin asking: “Didn’t they ban school prayer” Patty’s response: “This kind will always be with us.”

  27. Gulielma
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    The third panel in “Archie” looks like it was done from a doodle by M. C. Escher.

  28. Pfooti
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    I dunno, that FC seems a little weaksauce. Does recycling an age-old joke with your own art really count as a comic?

  29. huntingbyrd
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Archie: I don’t know why Mr. lodge just doesn’t walk around Archie, I mean there is plenty of room in that house.But why he picks to walk there is just beyond me.

  30. Grover Cleveland
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    #22 The Matt:

    True, with the TV that low, how else is Archie supposed to watch it? It’s downright sadistic to place a TV mere inches above the floor, then cornhole the first person who tries to watch it.

  31. Pozzo
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Please me that that the “someone who wants to see you” in the kitchen isn’t the ghost of Albert Pinkham Ryder. I don’t think I’m ready to be that bored again.

    Unless he’s come to take her to the other side, then I am so there.

  32. Deena in OR
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Necroposting from yesterthread-

    Luann-So when does the boom get lowered on TJ? Since he pretty much manipulated Tiff into the whole fiasco…

  33. Joel
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Gail’s first appearance in the summer months of Gil Thorp (whom she slept with, later reflecting that Gil was “baffling” and “poorly drawn” as a lover) is LOCKED in a TIGHT BATTLE with Marty Moon’s pimptastic wondercoat in the race to become the yearly representative of “Milford style.”

    Vote here:




  34. blueberrygrrrl
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    I think you get to Nearby City by taking Old Country Road past Local University. Who knew Mary Worth and Mark Trail were neighbors?

  35. AhClem
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    MT – I wonder if that “radiology lab in the nearby city” is the same one that mixed up Lisa Moore’s test results. Maybe we can get Sam Driver to file a malpractice lawsuit, since he has absolutely no interest in banging his hot wife and needs something to keep himself busy.

    Archie – I already speculated (yesterthread, #11) that Mr. Lodge is secretly the bass player in a KISS tribute band.

  36. No Boxcar, Slylock
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    I just kind of thought the A3G arrow is a mini-tribute to Scaduto; in Alan’s long absence, LuAnn has “The Urge” to have Blaze get her some “punch”.

  37. smitcat
    January 9th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    PBS: The duck with the cigar is a reference to the old Groucho Marx show: “You Bet Your Life”. If the contestants said that episode’s secret word, the duck would appear, and they would win a prize.

    Now you know.
    (Boy, do I feel old)

  38. Joel
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Me = bad necro poster. Josh alerted everyone on front page and I blew thru it.

    As you were.

  39. Sobek
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    “Or does she just know that Billy’s the dumbest kid in his class?”

    Yes, considering she’s also imagining him with his slanted desk facing the wrong way.

  40. Jeff Lichtman
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    That’s not a guitar – it’s an electric bass (only four tuning pegs). What happens when the drums stop? Archie serenades Veronica with a bass solo.

  41. Mountain Mama
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: Who wants to see LuAnn? Wow, it boggles the mind!

    Actually, no, it doesn’t. More Margo, mule!

  42. Kelsy
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Lodges sweater looks more like AstroTurf than anything else, but since he’s supposed to be rich I guess it would be something rarer–like the AstroTurf featured on the hit television series The Brady Bunch.

  43. Shermy Glamrocker
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Lodge is going to put his foot so far up Archie’s ass that (fill in the blank).

  44. Mike
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    FC: She’s imagining Billy praying because he’s the only one left in school. With the state of the economy as it is, Dolly and Jeffy have been sent to a sweatshop to make clothes for Kathie Lee Gifford.

    If this bumper-sticker theme continues, though, I’m waiting for the strip where Jeffy is a hellion on his bicycle; then, when he’s finished, says, “Don’t like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT.”

  45. Eric the Baker
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Long time reader, first time poster here. A couple comments.

    Curtis/Slylock/Pluggers: When do you suppose Waterbuffalowoman will appear as a crossover as either a Plugger, or as a shoplifter looking for new outfits in Slylock Fox?

    FOOB: feeling my age here on a daily basis, but I’d be shunned by friends, family and street people if I whined about it as often as the FOOBsters.

  46. Zamboni_Rodeo
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    44, Mike: Since you beat me to the bumper sticker comment, I only have to wonder how long it will be before we see Grandma Keane exhorting one of her old biddy friends to “Ask me about my grandchildren!” Doltish, freak-headed moppets that they are.

    commodorejohn: I’ll fess up to the Barney Fife comment. I know a lot of ‘Mudges saw Don Knotts, but Barney Fife was the first thing my mind went to when I saw panel three of yesterday’s strip. When you’re from my neck of the woods, where Andy Griffith is considered a god among men and you can find reruns of the show on just about every local channel across the state on a Sunday afternoon, you’d better darn well recognize the power of Deputy Fife.

  47. Bunnë
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    FC today is seriously overexplaining the joke — a joke which is, I might add, not original. I have no idea what “prayer in schools” has to do with “tests” — oh, there’s little Billy praying before his test. I get it now.


    On the subject of necroposting, Big Sims, I just replied to you on a previous thread, and now it’s two posts ago, so I thought I might want to alert you. Cryptohomoeroticism ahoy!

  48. Big Sims
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Am I a Plugger for not understanding today’s Pluggers?

  49. Niall
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    29. huntingbyrd: actually, characters in Archie cannot escape the confines of the panel borders, trapped in a world a robot made. All the space they can use is the space delimited by four black lines. They must live in Flatworld too, rendering notions such as perspective useless. They rail against their unseen mechanical master but to no avail.

  50. Allie Cat
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    #37 – Smitcat – Don’t feel too old – I knew the reference and I’m 33. I would not have been quite three when Groucho died. We lost Chaplin that same year. I am fans of both.

    I would have thought the duck was a common enough cultural reference, but what do I know?

  51. Allie Cat
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    #37 – Smitcat – Don’t feel too old – I knew the reference and I’m 33. I would not have been quite three when Groucho died. We lost Chaplin that same year. I am fans of both.

    I would have thought the duck was a common enough cultural reference, but what do I know?

  52. ltrftp Hedly
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    FC – Does Grandma have an Adam’s Apple? This may explain a lot about the family dynamics. Billy Has 3 Grandmas might make the NYTimes Children’s Book bestseller list.

    And did you notice that Thel’s face is drawn in “Beatnik” Style? Lines not connecting, suggestions of outline. I think 2008 could be the year that Family Circus breaks out to compete with Get Fuzzy and Zippy the Pinhead for intentionally avant gardish type humor. Or tumor. Take your pick.

  53. The Divine O’F
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Josh: VERY funny comment on Mark Trail. Made me LOL.

    2 yesterthreads Spider Brick: Sorry, my Internet was down most of yesterday and I’m way behind on both comments and comics. I hadn’t looked at Caldecott till I saw your comment, and as you predict, I heartily disagree, though perhaps your squick quotient is higher than mine. As always, CC just cracks me up with his goofy, true-to-life antics. I’m still way behind on everything and just skimming, so I apologize if anyone else already said this.

  54. Deena in OR
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Necropost from yesterthread-
    Luann-So when does the boom get lowered on TJ? Since he pretty much manipulated Tiff into the whole fiasco…

  55. Deena in OR
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    Aaannnd, repeating myself. Sorry, all.

  56. Little Guy
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    MT: Told ya! Mark will right-cross that tumor out of his ear1

  57. Calico
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    #18 – Did you mean, perhaps, DisLODGED her shoulder?

    Haha, rimshot, bring out the cane!

  58. Bitter Scribe
    January 9th, 2008 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    And as long as prayer in schools is a political wedge issue, there will always be people trying to defuse it with that wilted, half-witted, utterly unfunny and done-to-death line.

  59. Niall
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    33 Joel: locked? Wow, when I voted for her last night, she was behind by a wide margin. Nice to see she’s pulling up! …I just voted from work, and Gail leads 61-47 over the pimp Moon.

    45. Eric the Baker: welcome! That crossover idea is splendid. :)

    On PBS and Groucho: admittedly, I only saw a duck – I didn’t pay close enough attention to see the moustache and cigar. Neither were very big.

    Obviously, the duck smokes the small cigars.

  60. Big Sims
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    m’Dear Bunnë,

    Thanks for clearing that up, though I’m still working out “Judaism on the down low”. Where I’m at “on the down low” is synonymous with Cryptohomoeroticism. A word I got to use in a conversation with my Aunt today!* I learn so much here.

    *She believes that ‘Uncle’ Charlie in “My Three Sons” is actually an uncle. I think he’s the live-in lover, and just called Uncle to make it past the ’60′s censors. What do you think?

  61. ltrftp Hedly
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    S-M – It looks like MJ is channelling Yvonne DeCarlo (in her Lily Munuster role).

    Zits bores me now.

  62. Eats Shoots And Leaves
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    FC: What exactly is Grandma reading anyway? Is her statement a commentary on an article or is she reading the headline out loud? Maybe she is reading the punchline (for lack of a better word) to her own comic. Maybe the FC universe is imploding into a black hole from which no drawings or punchlines can escape. Wouldn’t that be great?

  63. Sylphi
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Ah, Family Circus, gleefully recycling old bumper sticker slogans. What original comedy!

  64. Old Goat
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Whatever the instrument next to the TV is, it isn’t a guitar. Guitars generally have six or twelve strings; Mr Lodge’s device has four. Perhaps it is an Appalachian dulcimer, though I doubt Mr Lodge would be a collector of such a pedestrian object, or maybe a more exotic veena.
    MT: No physician would say “x-ray” when referring to a CT or MR image… well, maybe there are a few… but none that I know.

  65. Gregoire
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    60 – Charley may not be an uncle, but Steve was certainly nailing chicks fast and furious on My Three Sons. Beverly Garland…Rrrrrrrrrr!

    Of course Charley WAS in either the merchant marines or navy, so draw your own conclusion

  66. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    The joke in Family Circus ranks alongside such tired old chestnuts as “I don’t see what all the fuss is about same-sex marriage. My wife and I have been having the same sex for years!”

  67. frumpiefox
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Niall: I read this: “locked? Wow, when I voted for her last night, she was behind by a wide margin. Nice to see she’s pulling up! …I just voted from work, and Gail leads 61-47 over the pimp Moon.” and had the sinking feeling that I was way out of the loop on this New Hampshire primaries thing…. Though I couldn’t figure out who the pimp was.

  68. Allie Cat
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    #60 – I don’t know about Uncle Charley, but I always liked to think that Andy Griffith’s Aunt Bee had a really wild, fun past before she came and settled down in Mayberry.

    A girl can dream.

  69. Sylphi
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @62: It’s probably supposed to be an article on how the horrible secularists are forcing the poor Christians to stop praying in school.

  70. DAS
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    What is the deal with the outfit Veronica is wearing? I know more than a few people my age who wear such outfits: they think they are dressing young, but somehow, wearing them, they manage to look 30+ years older than they are.

  71. Anonymous
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    #68 – I always thought that “Aunt” was a cover and Opie was really her love child by Andy.

  72. 30 something
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft- Seems like Batiuk is setting up another kill.

  73. bats :[
    January 9th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    A3G: maybe Blaze is emulating the John Voight character in “Midnight Cowboy.” If we’re really, really lucky, maybe Margo will take the part of Ratso Rizzo…

  74. DAS
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    Re: the instrument in Archie. I think it is a Mandolin which has either 4 or 8 strings (4 pairs of strings).

    A dulcimer is a sort of zither and as such the resonating part of the instrument would have to extend the whole length of the strings, IIRC.

    I suspect it’s supposed to be leaning on the plant, but that’s very odd perspective and shading. I can’t draw comics, but I could do better than that!

  75. ugarte
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    You’d think that the Lodge fortune would permit the hiring of a plastic surgeon that wouldn’t leave Veronica with fake breasts cantilevered so ridiculously that the ghost of Frank Lloyd Wright is questioning the physics. That said, I suppose I should thank the guy.

  76. Perky Bird
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail-

    Doctor: “I think I can save Luke Wilson! Just take a look at this x-ray. Oh…wait..that’s just a poorly drawn stick figure of a man! OK, who’s the idiot who sent the films to Santa Royal Vet Clinic for development?!”

  77. Mir777
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    #7 Madeline: Best.Comment.Ever

    As for Cousin Blaze, isn’t that Uncle Rico from “Napoleon Dynamite,” sans mustache?

  78. Red Greenback
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus: The bestest bumper sticker I ever did see: “My Grandchild dropped out of Communist Martyrs High School”

  79. jules
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    #66 SQB – Oh my God, I would pay handsomely to see that punchline in “Family Circus.”

    Just Daddy Keane standing around saying it, apropos of nothing, though; please God, no visuals. Thank you.

  80. thecrock
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    perhaps the mythical four stringed instrument is…a bass?

  81. bats :[
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    I did some online searching, trying to find the author of the tests/prayer/schools quote. Unfortunately, only the ubiquitous Anonymous is cited, so the Keanes can’t be forced to pay royalties and possibly stop using dopey jingoistic sayings as “humor.”


  82. Calico
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    #60 – Well, fer cryin’ out loud, just check out the foot tappin’ introduction! : )

    Da da da daaaahh…da da da dahhhh…*tap tap*

  83. Rob
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Sad- finding out that a MT villan has cancer and thus can not be punched.

    Happy- finding out that said villan isn’t terminal and can be punched.

    Elated- Seeing the villan be punched and then finding out that he is in fact terminal.

  84. Paperback Rifler
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    And in the category of “It May Not Be Great Snark, but Gosh Darn It, It’s Mine; and People Like Me Except for Those Who Don’t”:

    Archie: Ensuing dialogue that was edited out for space:

    Archie: Mr. Lodge . . . um . . . What are you doing with your foot?
    Mr. Lodge: Why, any fool can see that I’m impatiently tapping my foot on my very expensive carpet that I imported all the way from Italy!
    Archie: Oh, okay . . . um . . . Mr. Lodge? Where’s your other foot?
    Mr. Lodge: (wiggles foot experimentally) It seems to be between two pillows.
    Archie: Those aren’t pillows!!!
    (both scream)

    And I agree with the above posters who have identified the mystery instrument as a bass guitar. I’d even go so far as to say that it’s a bass guitar specifically made for playing basic rock’n’roll music, as the guitar neck seems to have only three frets, which would make it easier to accompany the sorts of three-chord songs that you would learn if you’re playing music for the sole purpose of impressing chicks.

    Blondie: Oh, Dagwood. Tsk, tsk. For a few seconds there, you were on the verge of not driving your wife into the arms of the mailman, who undoubtedly will appreciate her not for her garlic shrimp, but for her “garlic shrimp,” if you know what I mean! Well, I guess you don’t; but on the bright side, you’ll always have panis. (Y’know; for those sandwiches that you love so much? There you go!)

    Lockhorns: Alternate captions for “Leroy agreed not to call me a housewife as long as I don’t call him ________.”
    — “. . . a worthless sack of crap.”
    — “. . . a balding, impotent, flat-footed, sweater vest-wearing, purse-carrying, horse’s patoot.”
    — “. . . a festering, oozing, fetid abscess on the left buttock of humanity.”
    — “. . . my cutesy-wootsy, snuggly-wuggly, lovey-dovey shnookie-poo.”
    — “. . . Shirley.”
    — “. . . during what he likes to call ‘Leroy’s Special Alone Time with Little Leroy and the Sound of One Hand Clapping.’”

  85. Rob
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    After yesterday I expected Ziggy to as “Exactly day which soup of?”

  86. bats :[
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    9CL: wow, this is horrid. Who piddled in her Wheaties? Is there really a reason for Juliette to be so bitchy? Is she going through the 15-year menopause like Elly is? Why can’t we put these two together in a room and let them slap each other to death?

    Pibgorn: odd, that Brooke (heck, it’s gotten to the point that anything Brooke does is odd) has posted his rough sketches/storyboards for his two latest strips.
    Ah, according to his livejournal, this is going to be an ongoing thing, posting the rough sketch the day after the full-color strip is published. (It’s still only three strips a week, Brooke….I can count.)

  87. blessened
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    just wanted to say I really enjoyed the “you bet your life” reference, there I said it

  88. Gagott68
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    39 Sobek: Billy’s desk is facing the right way. It’s just so filled with sh*t that he can’t close it. And you DON’T want to look at the booger crusted underside of his desk either.

  89. Gagott68
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    59 Niall: The duck smokes small cigars? You don’t think…?

  90. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    #45 Eric the Baker

    Curtis/Slylock/Pluggers: When do you suppose Waterbuffalowoman will appear as a crossover as either a Plugger, or as a shoplifter looking for new outfits in Slylock Fox?

    Alternaltely, she may turn up in My Cage. Maybe as a night shift housekeeper who makes inappropriate passes at Norm. A boy can dream, at least.

  91. Anonymous
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    The “writers” and “artists” over at Archie have heard that there is some new fangled game you play on your tv with your geetar.

    This is their take on it.

    carry on

  92. Eats Shoots And Leaves
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    #69. I’ve decided that Grandma is reading the “Family Circus” comic because;

    a. that’s the sort of thing she would find amusing
    b. that whole family is pretty insular and self-focused so of course she would be reading a comic strip featuring herself.

  93. Mr. Coffee Nerves
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    FC: Little does Grandma and Thel know that Billy is REALLY praying for his gym teacher to email him another naked picture of herself.

    Bil’s getting all post-modern on us.

  94. Little Guy
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Y’know, Dr Julii would be perfect as the protagonist of a variation of A Christmas Carol, but I hate to see the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come balled up by one of the tombstones weeping uncontrollably.

  95. Red Greenback
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Archie: “Would You please dislodge your Rockport out of my anus?!”
    My Three Sons: Maybe it’s the medicinal brownies I’m force fed, but wasn’t William Demarest as Uncle Charlie replaced by William Frawley as Uncle Bub? My crypto informant told me William Demarest always had sex with his female wife, but he inrormed me he heard William Frawley was giving A bj to Desi Arnaz back stage, he said “Oh for Christ sakes Desi, what an asshole!”
    I either have to hire a new private dick, or my Robbie in “My Three Sons” is a stone fox. I’m not gay, but I would share my precious bodily fluids with that man.

  96. commodorejohn
    January 9th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    #92 Eats Shoots And Leaves – “That whole family is pretty insular and self-focused so of course she would be reading a comic strip featuring herself.

    Is it just me, or is this a fantastic idea for a comic strip?`

  97. Gregoire
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    My 3 sons – Bub came before Charley, so to speak…

  98. Electro
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    MT: ha ha – tumour humour.

  99. Red Greenback
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Inrormed?: Now I’ve got me all Scooby Doo. all up in my place. I’m going to catch up on some much needed sleep. Good day Sirs and Madams! And I Hope Marmaduke Doesn’t invade my dreams with the slobber and all. Better living through chemistry. Good Night, Vienna

  100. Joel
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    59 Niall–
    She’s pulled ahead to a 13% margin but she still only has 36% of the vote. GAIL MARTIN DOESN’T JUST NEED TO WIN, SHE NEEDS A MANDATE PEOPLE! She’s a uniter not a divider N shit, and the candidate of change or whatever — how’s she going to govern the marty moon pimp brigade unless she cracks 50% people?

  101. Uncle Lumpy
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    #100 Joel –

    Link, man — for Gail’s sake, link!

  102. Bunnë
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Big Sims,
    You know, I never watched My Three Sons. There was something about the opening credits that put me off, and I’d always change the channel.

    I did love That Girl when I was 5, and I think it must have been because of the kite with her face on it. I wanted that kite.

    January 9th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    DT: From the most excellent facial expression in panel three, I can only assume that J. Tucker Hennessey’s daughter is kneeling in front of Dick with a mouth full of, um, Tracy.

  104. Calico
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    #93 – COTW Nom

    #89 – That’s what I believe happened!

  105. Calico
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    For some reason, the weird guitar/bass hybrid in Archie reminds of the Deep Purple tune “Smoke on the Water.”

  106. CJColucci
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    Maybe the guitar is a hint that the “cubist nightmare” of panel 3 is deliberate and ironic…..NAAH!

  107. Thank You for Taking My Call
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    The instrument in Archie is obviously a baritone ukelele, which has 4 strings and is about half the size of a guitar. It goes well with the raccoon coats and straw boaters that show up in Archie occasionally. Archie was probably seranading Veronica with a rousing chorus of “Ain’t She Sweet”.

  108. Eric
    January 9th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    “As long as there are tests there will be prayer in school?” I hope the Keanes handled that joke delicately – it’s an antique.

  109. Niall
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    Okay, what does it say about me that this was the first time I had seen the antideluvian “joke” in FC?.. or do I not want to know?..

  110. Mik Holmes
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    I believe this Family Circus’ Grandma reading a comic about herself is kinda creepy, because about five minutes ago, my own grandmother read the comic out to my mom in the kitchen.
    So if my life is just a comic about my family, I pray that there is no Josh in the higher-up world, because my family is full of no-humor-at-all.

  111. Mariko
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    PBS: If tomorrow we see the Groucho duck made into soup, I will shout aloud with excitement.

  112. ltrftp Hedly
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    Re Archie Geez, as one of the older members, I am surprised no one else recognizes a Mark Sandman guitar.

    Niall, is Morphine already forgotten by you whippersnappers?

  113. ltrftp Hedly
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    That would fowl!

  114. ltrftp Hedly
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    Preview is my friend
    That would BE fowl!

  115. Bootsy
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    #109, Niall, I’m trying to bring back “antediluvian” back into common usage these days. I know it used to refer to old timey stuff and originally meant before Noah’s flood, but we need it here, since everything is divided into before and after The Thing. Antediluvian and postdiluvian work.

  116. jules
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    #111 Mariko – if it does, then I will duck soup for the rest of my life.

    Thankyew! I’m here all week, try the veal. Don’t tell Groucho I stole his joke.

  117. Meander
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Oh, my yes, Dr B is a full-on biotch when someone say something stupid to her at work. She’s awesome.

  118. Mariko
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    #113/114 ltrftp Hedly–
    Oh, I should have seen that coming.

    But seriously, what better way to make a nice tribute to the Marx Brothers? Except, possibly, introducing a winged (thus, feathered) horse who escapes from the races and spends a night at the opera.

  119. Loopina
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Yay Blaze! I love it when Blaze is in the strip. He looks slightly different than the other gents, and I like his name. *Blaze*. Also, he makes me think of Midnight Cowboy, which puts an entirely different spin on the party, and who might be wanting Lu Ann in the kitchen.

    I’d like to see him form the Comics Village People with Redeye, Rhinoman from Pluggers, Sarge, Dick Tracy (closest I can come to a cop), biker? Hmm. I bet Thorax would wear leather if you asked nicely.

    Ever’body’s talkin’ at me,
    I can’t hear a word they’re sayin’,
    Only the echoes of my mind…

  120. Islamorada Girl
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    “There’s more punch in the kitchen and someone who wants to see you” is what passes for edge of the seat suspense in 3G. Since we all figured out in half a second that someone is Ruby, who’s been pressed into catering this hell event by Margo doesn’t add much to the nail biting excitement.

  121. Jamus The Bartender
    January 9th, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    4/9CL: I don’t disagree John….but damn….DAMN Juliette makes me feel all special inside, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
    FOOB: Wrinkles on the forehead…okay, NOW she’s angry. Five upside the head for you St Michael.
    Luann: Does this mean Tiff’s gonna get sixty days of caged heat? Please say yes. Does this mean Tiff’s gonna find consolation in the arms of her fellow female prisoners, until released by the state? Please say yes. Does this mean Tiff’s gonna wear a knot top shirt and cutoffs while digging ditches? Oh dear God in heaven please say yes.

  122. Hubris
    January 9th, 2008 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    That’s Blaze Excel, and I’ll have you know that he’s got the fastest Insert-> Symbol-> Left/Right Arrow combination in the West.

  123. Uncle Balustrade
    January 9th, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Doesn’t Mr. Lodge realize that as soon as he steps over Archie, he’s going to fall into the basement and probably hurt himself on that pointed object in front of the tilted mirror between the two upright floor supports?

  124. Eats Shoots And Leaves
    January 9th, 2008 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    #110: Try running around the neighborhood and see if a trail of hyphens follows you.

    If so, you can be guaranteed that unseen beings are snarkin’ the heck out of your life.

  125. Eats Shoots And Leaves
    January 9th, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    #96: I’d like to see the Gil Thorp characters reading THEIR comic.

    “OMG, do I really look like that? And now I look like THAT! Oh, wait, that’s you.”

  126. commodorejohn
    January 9th, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    #121 Jamus The Bartender – Oh, I’ll agree that for the mother of an early-twenty-something she’s lookin’ fine, it’s just that she’s such an unmitigated jerk to everybody but her own spawn that she wouldn’t be worth the trouble.

  127. fluffytufts
    January 9th, 2008 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    re 9CL: Where did you think Edda got her ball-busting skills from if not dear old Ma? The two of them together could emasculate the marines. But God do I want ‘em both. As I once said here (long ago): Yow.

    Oh – Hiya, Islamorada Girl ; )

  128. Jamus The Bartender
    January 9th, 2008 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    126. Still and all, one of my fantasies involves Juliette dressed as “Ilsa, She Wolf Of The SS” calling me a dirty pig, with me handcuffed to the floor of Stalag 13, but that’s me.

  129. Moss_Moses
    January 9th, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    Isn’t Ralphie’s owner going to offer to pay the vet bill? Mary Worth certainly dropped the hint that she paid the bill. After all her crowing about charity, isn’t it a little disingenuous to bring it up? If this is the end of the episode, it is truly merciful. This episode has taken droll and mundane to new heights.

  130. fluffytufts
    January 9th, 2008 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    #128. My own usually consist of Drusilla, Pibgorn, Edda and vast quantities of vanilla pudding. Warm. Vanilla. Pudding.

  131. Gold-Digging Nanny
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    DT — Ha! I called the Mystery Ghost Lady as the sister/daughter!

  132. Pendragon
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    I think we can save this man’s life so that he can walk himself to the electric chair!

  133. monkey.dave
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    Is it really still New Years Eve in A3G? I think a more likely explanation is that Luann is back to huffing solvents again and this entire storyline is a long, drawn-out hallucination. That would certainly explain Blaze’s shirt. Not to mention how so-called art critics would find anything nice to say about Luann’s appalling paintings.

  134. J.S.
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    I’m just saddened to see that Randolph Mantooth, of “Emergency” has sunk so low that he’s playing “Blaze” in “Apartment 3G”.

  135. KT
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]


    Rex (muffled voice in the distance): “Thanks, I will!”
    Rex: “Naah, I’m fine!”
    Rex: “Actually, that’d be nice!”

  136. Quix
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    The guitar belongs to Mr. Lodge. He is obviously reaching for it and, judging from his posture, about to dance a hoedown all over Archie’s ass.

  137. commodorejohn
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    #128 Jamus The Bartender – Well, to each his own, I guess.

  138. Quix
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I want a bolo…

  139. prospero
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    Isn‘t Archie supposed to be nude while coveting that Silvertone.

    You’re absolutely right about Blaze and hat-head, but I think it looks more like a dent above the boyish bangs from a backwards polyester feedstore cap.

  140. prospero
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    Anybody that believes in this moment of silence/prayer in school business should drop into any HS homeroom. Mountain Dew and Twinkie fueled insanity reigns, and if the principal and the AV Nerds Club couldn’t appropriate the classroom TV, the kids would be praying for big butts along with Mix-a-Lot.

    Same is generally true for the Pledge of Obeisance, which actually deserves the disrespect, being a piece of doggerel, written by an avowed Socialist, and un-Americanly edited by HUAC and the Knights of Columbus to invoke the Lord’s intervention during the Great Comoniss and Darkie Scare of the ’50s.

    Mark Trail: I’m hoping they kill the guy about 15 times by causing his tongue to swell to Gene Simmons proportions in the CATScan room, a la House, before figuring out that the Grand Outdoorsman can just knock out that tumor with a single blow.

  141. Mariko
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    Good grief . . . I’ve had a revelation! The woman who is given what-for by Juliette Burber is the same woman who was harassed by her last year!

    She’s come for her revenge, but has once again been trounced by Juliette.

  142. Tracer Bullet
    January 9th, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    128. I have similar feelings about Aunt Fritzi.

  143. Allie Cat
    January 9th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    When I saw this morning’s A3G, I thought – “Blaze really ought to hook up with Ruby,” then I remembered they’re either siblings or cousins. Then I thought, “Well, maybe they should hook up anyway.”

    I don’t much like 9CL unless it’s the secondary characters (Seth and his lover or Diane and Francis) but I read it so that I can keep up on the forum. Now that’s devotion.

  144. Red Greenback
    January 9th, 2008 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    Jamus the B: *Summoning my stern mother voice* “Get a plastic inflatable love doll, for crying out softly!” No man, in all seriously, I have a thing about Juliette calling the shots… and aunt Fritzi making me come correct in ways I can’t describe here, because this is a family friendly blog.

  145. Red Greenback
    January 9th, 2008 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    Jymrgrindbees,so we don’t have to… yesterpost: Sugar Snaps!

  146. Joe Blevins
    January 9th, 2008 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    Metaphysics 101, Family Circus Style: If you tilt your head upward while thinking, you can actually see your own thought bubbles.

    Meanwhile, in Archie: what the hell is the little square thing coming out of Archie’s armpit? And is Archie watching the TV or reading a magazine article about Beethoven? And what’s holding up that magazine? It seems to be tilted upward, but what’s holding it up in the first place? The only possible, logical, reasonable explanation for panel three is that the Lodge Mansion is in outer space and there is no gravity and all three characters are floating around and there a bunch of random props floating around also. (The lack of gravity also exlplains Veronica’s ever-shifting and improbable bustline.)

  147. Saluki
    January 9th, 2008 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    When I read Pearls before Swine today the melody for “Hooray for Captain Spalding” popped in to the mental iPod and has been playing ever since. This is a good thing. So I’ve got that going for me.

    God I miss Groucho.

  148. Saluki
    January 9th, 2008 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    Also someone might want to do a gender test on that woman(?) with Mary Worth. She appears to have stepped over to some shrubbery to take a leak.

  149. man behind the curtain
    January 9th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Say what you will about Blaze but it’s January 9th so he must throw one hell of a New Years Eve party.

  150. Jordan
    January 9th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    That last Archie panel is reminiscent of Polly and her Pals (except, you know, not any good). Go to Photoshop and remove the heads and hands. The image looks a lot more pleasing.

    Oh, and is that really the Car Channel, or just a portrait of a car on a wall, and Archie is really engrossed in Ben Franklin Weekly Magazine?

  151. Red Greenback
    January 9th, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Okay, so here’s the deal: So I’m here in my dank smelly hellhole of an apartment (a fancy-schmamy word for human-hold, I dare say) seeking my life’s mystery at the bottom of a booze bottles bottom, when all of the sudden, God broke into my apartment, and didn’t steal all my pain. but I awoke with a bloody skull next to a barky stick and a valentine’s note that read: “Sukka, I stole all your shit” Whoa is a me bop.

  152. Jamus The Bartender
    January 9th, 2008 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    Archie: On another note, it seems like, in the Archieverse, the Lodge Mansion has become the equivalent of the Foreman house on That 70s Show. Archie just comes in and makes himself comfortable, and it looks like Mr. Lodge is about to put his foot up Archie’s ass.

  153. Mooncattie
    January 9th, 2008 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Jeepers! Punch Imlach is in Blaze’s kitchen? And who wants to see Lu Ann? Pete Stemkowski? There’s hope for the Rangers yet!!

  154. Mibbitmaker
    January 9th, 2008 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    FC: Given the old religious-reactionary chestnut, this panel should be renamed “Family Values Circus”.

    A3G: The writer badly translated the events therein. In panel 2, LuAnn – given Alan’s beligerant mood – is really saying, “He went to punch me, but, thankfully, I lost him in the crowd.” Then, there’s someone who wants to punch her in the kitchen. Needless to say, it’s either Margo or that wacky dead artist.

    FOOB: “Okay, now I’m angry!”

    GT: Why is Rueben Kincaid playing high school basketball???

    Curtis: Hey, lead character of this strip! You’re late asking Mopey Pete questions in Funky Winkerbean.

  155. Rainbird
    January 9th, 2008 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    commodorejohn 4 I didn’t read all the way to say if someone told you that it was from ‘You Bet Your Life”, which was the weird talk-show/game-show with Grocho Marx as a host. He would interview people, it’s been a while, and I only saw it in rerunts, and when the “said the secret woid” a duck would come down and they would win something or other. I and my friends were really into Grocho Marx in the 70s (oh my gosh, that long ago), just before he died, and they reran the old shows.

    I had to explain this to Huntingbyrd, who laughed at the joke without me having to explain it, so I guess it doesn’t really matter. PBS is always funny.

  156. Gabacho
    January 9th, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    #95 Red Greenback and My Three Sons reference – ooh, ooh, ooh! In the mid 1980′s, I actually got to meet Don Grady who played Robbie in My Three Sons. I met him in a gym no less! OMG I am gay and he is a stone fox.

    But as much as I wanted him to be, he’s not gay. At least not for me.

    I also got to meet Beverly Garland in an entirely unrelated incident and oh, baby. I had never heard the word MILF but did I need it then. That woman was hot enough to make this Kinsey 6 Gay Guy wish he could be a lesbian for the night.

    William Frawley, oral sex? ewww. And I’ll do it with just about anyone. What else does your informant know?

  157. Uncle Lumpy
    January 9th, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    “It’s a common woid, something you use every day!”

  158. mollificent
    January 9th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    I have to confess I completely missed the Groucho reference *hangs head in shame* but I still LOL’d. Mark of a good strip, that. ;)

  159. Niall
    January 9th, 2008 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    Well, it won’t be quite as funny as bats & co’s offerings, but nonetheless, I still got inspired. :)

    Gil Thorp Meets a Mudgeon!

    Finding an adequate font was the longest…

  160. Niall
    January 9th, 2008 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    112. Hedley: I honestly have never heard of Mark Sandman or the group Morphine.

    115. Bootsy: I never once stopped using the word… It’s still semi-common in French.

    135. KT: Bwahahaha!!! Perfect!

  161. commodorejohn
    January 9th, 2008 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    #155 Rainbird – Yeah, assorted people have made mention of that. I knew it was supposed to be Groucho, but I’d never seen “You Bet Your Life.”

  162. Loopina
    January 9th, 2008 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    #156 Gabacho: …..anyone?

  163. rhymes with puck
    January 9th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Like all teenage friends, Luann, Delta, and Bernice stand at least one foot apart at all times.

  164. Anonymous
    January 9th, 2008 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    I haven’t much to say, but I just wanted to compliment #84 for the brilliant and subtle “Planes, Trains & Automobiles” reference. An overlooked gem from the eighties(nineties?) .

  165. bats :[
    January 9th, 2008 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    159. Niall: nicely done! Fonts are a pain for me, too. I finally found one that is more comic-y (damned if the thing isn’t called “Comic Sans MS”, too!).
    Aerosquid has a good font and offered it to me (boy, does that sound dirty), but he hasn’t been around in a while. Aerosquid, come back!

  166. Uncle Lumpy
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:03 am [Reply]

    #165 bats :[ inter alios

    Fonts in the news!

    Fonts on the Web!

  167. KT
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    After I typed up my comment (#135), I had The Urge to Photoshop it to the moon, so voila:


  168. Uncle Lumpy
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    #166 Me –

    Oh, dammencrap: Fonts on the Web!

  169. bats :[
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    Gah! Reduced to snarking leftovers…

  170. Anonymous
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]


    PBS: “Say the magic word, win $50.” Big bucks, then.

  171. Frank Parsnip
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    A3G: Ruby’s got not one but two bows in her hair, thus decisively breaking the previously-thought-unbreakable bow limit set in 1924.

    BB: Gizmo might as well camp out, given that it appear General Halftrack is working with a Commodore PET computer.

    DtM: Selling hot “choklit” is not meanacing, but the idea of 6-month-old lemonade is. Best to spoon the skin off the surface before drinking it.

    MT: The neuroradiologist is using an x-ray to determine the location of the brain tumor because in 1916 they didn’t have MRI. What he had thought was a tumor may actually be a bunch of ten-penny nails and a piece of broken saw blade — typical lumberjack injuries borne by about 65% of modern Canadians.

    Sex Organ, M.D.: Except for the rain part, panel 1 is a pretty much daily occurance in Los Angeles.

    MW: What? Mary’s just going to let Ralph Malph walk away with Chester? That’s not the Mary Worth I know. I do like the bizarre buttonless matching coat-and-pant suits that she and Toby are wearing about for the dog transfer — probably there is some sort of cool magnetic strips that activate to hold the outfits together and space-age technology that automatically changes the length of the coats to turn them into pantsuit jackets when they get indoors. Reading Mary Worth is like getting a glimpse into the world of tomorrow.

    Slylock Fox: Apparently this was a Count Weirdly mystery that didn’t quite make the cut, but what I don’t understand is how the “Bear Family Funny Photo” works. Are bears supposed to go up and stick their heads through the respectively labeled holes to make it look like their heads have been mounted on a white wall? I realize that somebody (probably we’re supposed to think it’s Weirdly but that clown is looking pretty crafty) has left something smelly by this very unattractive attraction, but aren’t “funny photo” walls with head holes usually supposed to have bodies drawn onto them?

    If this were a mystery, then I’d have drafted it up as: “Slylock Fox and Max have been called to the carnival to find out who has left a large box of faeces disguised as a block of Swiss cheese. Provided that Max does not immediately eat the cheese, who must have done it?”

    Answer: (pretend this is upside-down and in really tiny print) “Following the rules of ‘who smelt it, dealt it’, Slylock Fox had no choice but to blame Mell Lazarus’ very-tan-and-prehensile-tail-wearing ‘Momma’ standing on the stage and pointing.”

  172. alamo
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    the only thing worth discussing about archie is how in the hell does veronica’s chest swell up to the size of a couple of zeppelin’s from one panel to the next? thinking about it gets me worked up……well, at least up.

  173. alamo
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    167 — where is the little chocolate on the pillow?

  174. bats :[
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    Some Thursday thought:

    A3G: I question the rationale of Ruby’s bows (I can imagine them on a poodle’s ears, but that’s about it), but hey! What that woman can do with a cocktail weenie!

    MT: I’m confused. Is he addressing Nurse Porcupine, or is the famous Dr. Porcupine, Acupuncturist to the Stars and capable of chewing a tumor out of a man’s skull without breaking a sweat?

    MW: that’s it? Wow, if Dr. Jeff had shuffled off the mortal coil in Viet Nam, I guess Mary still would’ve managed to keep a stiff upper lip and go through with her weekly bridge game.

    RMMD: excitement! suspense! words in two colors!

  175. bats :[
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    167. KT: priceless! (And anyone who has Dot Warner as wallpaper on his pet peeves page is okay with me!)

    166. Uncle Lumpy: it’s all so….so….fontastic!!

  176. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]


    A night with love happy?

  177. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    Gold Digging Nanny

    Well done !

  178. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:41 am [Reply]


    I am surprised you are not familiar with Morphine. I dated a dj at WOXY “The Future of Rock And Roll”. She interviewed the band and its members before and after the show.

    I think you’d like their music.

    Daktari Are you familiar with them?

  179. Carly
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    Nothing to do with the content of Family Circus, but the characters’ habit of poking their heads and sometimes upper torsos into the frame is disturbing to me.

  180. Bobdog
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    Archie – You might think that the guitar is leaning up against the potted plant next to a TV showing a car, but in actuality, the guitar is leaning against a wall decorated with a mural of a potted plant next to a TV showing a car. But as post-modern as that decor is, what really shows how hip Veronica’s family is is the picture behind dad’s head — the meaning behind which can be summarized as “I’m a world famous artist and I can get people to pay millions for this crap I randomly scattered on a canvas because they want to be able to casually drop my name into conversations with their rich friends as one of the artists they happen to have the ‘works’ of — and because they think if they don’t understand it it must be good — but mostly for the name dropping.”

  181. Bobdog
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    I really thought that the caption to this Pluggers would read something along the lines of “You’re a plugger if you plan your all meals based on coupon clippings from the Sunday paper you ‘borrowed’ from your neighbor’s porch”

  182. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    Gabacho: Beverly Garland, I’d drop on a dime and lap up on her like a stallion and eff her on the White House lawn ’til the cows come home, Oh yeeaaahhh! Cathy is a horrid comic strip.

  183. TB Tabby
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    9CL: Woman, if you’re going to be hostile to someone who’s never done anything to you because of the way her name is spelled, you’re not crotchety, you’re just a bitch. Hopefully to a point where “aggrivated assault” has a meaning to you.

    Baldo: Oh, for a world where internet trolls ended their sentences with periods, and “Your nuthing but scum” was the worst of their spelling errors.

    Blondie: Oh, how meta.

    FC: Mmm…darts being thrown directly at Billy’s mouth. That’s a pleasant image.

    H&L: If we’re lucky, they’ll die of hypthermia trying to settle this.

    JP: I’m surprised Abbey remembered Sophie at this point.

    SFx: Biological Warfare!

  184. Spotted HØrse
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke: Mudgeons, be warned: The hovering torso of Phil and the head of Marm are shamelessly, ruthlessly obliterating the fourth wall. Hope you all are made of sterner stuff than me… it’s freakin’ me out, man!

    JP: For someone who merely snoozed all night and drooled on her pillow, Abbey is certainly looking freshly fwinked. Sam, pal o’ mine, some women it seems have the knack of attaining the stars in their dreams. You might as well run off and do whatever it is that you do, dude.

  185. Uncle Lumpy
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    9CL — “Seven years on my knees for tenure? Not in vain, I swear it — not in vain!

  186. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    Back in the yesters when we were blabbing about old teevee commercials IF UNIQUE IS WHAT YOU SEEK and Lou Rawls telling us to watch out for the bull. the Schlitz malt liquor bull. Cathy must die!

  187. Spotted HØrse
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:42 am [Reply]

    9CL: What a nasty piece of work this… Burber… is.

    On the other hand,
    #128 Jamus, #144 Red Greenback: Knock yourself out, fellas! Enjoy!

  188. True Fable
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    This is the pristine, unnaughty version of a Fable Review since I am using a pc at work and heavens knows I cannot rant and rave in my usual manner.

    Goodness gracious, what a [margo]ing mess of [boxcar]!

    9CL We are apparently stuck in the loop of “Juliette eviscerates a co-ed for the fun of it” and there’s no escape.
    BC Okay, I’m just about convinced that BC is alive and well and rejuvinated. Born again, you might say, which is odd to say about a comic called B.C., for Pete’s sake.
    Ballard Street Every once in a while I find something amusing in this strip but most days, like today, I look at it and say, “So [margo]ing what?”
    BB Today General Halftrack is lucky he has tech support at hand. Grumble, grumble.
    Blondie It’s not as much fun when they meta their own strip.
    Cathy (Must Die) …?!? What man actually WANTS to talk about his urinary tract health to his wife? Irving is as disturbed as Cathy is, only in different ways. Die, Irving.
    C’haft Either something is going to back up over his snowman or that is the loudest faulty pacemaker ever.
    Curtis “Mama! Curtis called me a scream!”
    FC Ohhh Billy. Your other option is Highwater College or, if you factor in your mama, Barfy the dog, that old station wagon and Daddy’s hidden cache of booze, you could attend the Hank Thompson School of Country Music.
    FBoFW Well, she finally got him to shut up by utilizing Cathy’s pointing finger. yeah, I guess that WOULD terrify a kid into silence.
    FW What the -! Batiuk actually turned out a non-smirky, non-creepy, non-repugnant strip! Someone check him, he might be feverish.
    GA Nice artwork! Too bad the strip doesn’t go anywhere or make a lick of sense if it did.
    (DT)GT The only comic that makes Gasoline Alley look smart and together.
    Heathcliff Not ANOTHER stacked-garbage-can panel. Heathcliff and Garfield are like tandam pains in the patoot.
    JP All Abbey needs is to smack herself in the head with a pair of Vans and warble, “I’m so wasted!”
    Luann If they make Luann the next Miss CofC, there is no living with her. Not that you’d call that living.
    MT The porcupine waited. He had been very patient so far anticipating this day and he was not going to blow his big scene by any missteps. When the time came and his panel was shown, he rose to the occasion. Meanwhile, the distracting story lumbered on…
    MW Well, that was a waste of time. What next? Mary visits the bread aisle?
    MG&G More goats, mule!
    Peanuts Boy, Lucy; you sure are a [Elly].
    Pluggers Okay, Brookins is just goofing around now; he hasn’t the foggiest notion what should define a Plugger. Pluggers have waddles! Pluggers live next door! Pluggers breathe an oxygen/nitrogen mix!
    R&R Trying so hard to be the next Calvin & Hobbes and failing miserably.
    RMMD No complaints here. At least it’s not talking heads or lame puns or Juliette Burber with a thorn in her paw.
    Rose is Rose I don’t read this much. Is their last name Gumbo, or is their DNA comprised of okra and crawfish? I’m confused.
    Rubes Trying so hard to be the next Far Side and failing miserably.
    SFx The others think it’s Slylock. Boy, that’s going to put a dent in his rep: “There’s the fox that smells like Robin Patterson!”
    S-M Escape while you still can, M.J.! And by that I mean, take the man up on his offer.

  189. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:56 am [Reply]

    Spotted HØrse: I am sorry. I slipped up when I broke my CC rule number whatevs “don’t post on The Comics Curmudgeon whilst full of my pints” I st5till stand firm on my beleif that Cathy should be knocked off the comics pages

  190. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    Vivian Stanshall

  191. Frank Parsnip
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    Spotted Horse (184): My guess is that while Abbey was in her hash-brownie-induced sleep-coma, Sam simply carried out his usual MO to have his way with her. This time he conveniently didn’t have to ask her to “lay completely still” after lifting her out of a bathtub filled with ice water.

    bats (174): on A3G, that’s what Prof. Aristotle says!

    Niall (49): I think you’re right. That coffee table with the plant and framed picture on it actually is a partial table and does end precisely where the lines are drawn. In Archieland they simply never thought to “break down the fourth wall” to get more room for their stuff.

    Islamorada Girl (120): A3G needs to take a note from Sex Organ, M.D.’s usual props if they want to create more suspense. “And someone wants to see you… with a GUN!” would naturally lead into Ruby in the kitchen. Hey, she’s a Texan for crissake — somewhere on her person (probably tucked into an old-style garter belt or perhaps between her chins) she’s got a concealable firearm.

  192. Spotted HØrse
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    Red, I concur that Cathy must die! Oh, and in my post #184, “knock yourself yourselves out” only refers, appreciatingly, to your and Jamus’s spicy musings about Juliette Burber.

  193. Spotted HØrse
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    #191 Frank Parsnip: Sam harvested Abbey’s kidneys? I didn’t know the procedure was so satisfying… learn something new every day.

  194. Spiny Norman
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:35 am [Reply]

    I really needed to come here for a laugh after this last week, and boy, did I get what I needed. So kudos…

    #84 Paperback Rifler: After nearly a week without power in the wake of the west-coast storms, mistaking something for pillows was just a little too funny.

    #167 KT: I need that on a T-shirt! Oh. My. God. T-Shirt!

    Spotted Horse: speaking as somebody whose lousy week ended with being called a bitch behind her back (for all the wrong reasons, and none of the right ones), I kind of like seeing Burber say all the stuff I can’t. I think of Burber as my evil twin, whose claws could be wasted on the scratching post, but are instead spared for the fine carpets and the Louis XVI furniture, because it just makes for a more elegant mess.

    But #60: I really, REALLY didn’t need the image of Uncle Charley having sex (of any kind) in my mind. Thanks a lot. Worse, it led me to a contemplation of other ’60s and ’70s TV stars I really didn’t need to think about naked. Leading contenders: Sebastian Cabot on “Family Affair,” The Skipper, Scotty, Mike Brady, “Schulz,” Arte Johnson, Peter Tork, and, above all, Aunt Bea. Which led me to Barney. And that’s just wrong.

  195. Spotted HØrse
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:02 am [Reply]

    #194 Spiny Norman: Hey, I see what you mean about Burber. I like inappropriate behavior in all types of characters for the same reason. Just… not this particular character.

    Nude, nude, nude 60s and 70s celebrities: Aunt Bea leads to Barney? My first mental image was of Bea Arthur leading to Barney the dinosaur, but upon rereading, I saw “Aunt” Bea, so I’m putting money on Barney Fife. Which is pretty disturbing, more so than Barney the dinosaur, whom we always see nekkid.

    Don’t forget Schneider from One Day At A Time, or Mel from Alice!

  196. Spiny Norman
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:20 am [Reply]

    #195 Spotted Horse: Yeah, I meant Barney Fife, which I think pretty much put me off naked people for a while. But Schneider and Mel may actually give him a run for his money.

    I had a brief moment, before I saw the eyelashes on the quote unquote female fish, when I thought maybe two male fish were contemplating having a go at it in the interests of science. I had a whole new respect for B.C., until I realized it was all just a lame “pick-up” joke.

    I rarely look at “Herman,” and now I know why. Am I dim? Why are the snakes holding up number signs? Are they rating his performance? Is one of them the Russian judge?

  197. frankenbeans
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:27 am [Reply]

    It’s probably supposed to be an article on how the horrible secularists are forcing the poor Christians to stop praying in school.

    They are, and that’s why atheists suck.

    What’s not shown is the scene afterward where all the other kids throw spitballs at Billy for showing signs of faith.

  198. Frank Parsnip
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:55 am [Reply]

    Spotted Horse (193): Nahhhh… the old kidney gag is where Abbey wakes up inside the tub full of ice with a note. And besides, she already fell for that trick when she was having that weekend getaway with A3G-Eric’s brother in China a couple of years back.

  199. gleeb
    January 10th, 2008 at 6:41 am [Reply]

    9CL: A woman named “Burber”, which sounds like intestinal gas, is fussy about names? Roderick Usher wasn’t this touchy.

    A3G: Blaze, having isolated Ruby and Luann in the kitchen, can safely continue to enjoy his party.

    Blondie: Daisy, alert to self-reference and its dangers for a long-running comic, knew what she had to do. Elmo must pay.

    ‘shaft: After all this heart-attack foreshadowing, he’s going to be backed over by a truck? Batiuk, you’re a master of sly irony.

    Get Fuzzy: Again, a one-note character has outstayed his welcome. At least there’s not Cockney slang.

    Phantom: Jaywalking. A month from now, the ghost-who-walks will be focused on double-parking.

  200. Doug Puthoff
    January 10th, 2008 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    Curtis (1-10)–The image of Barry buriing at the stake has made my day.

  201. Little Guy
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    Luann: In the movie version, the kleig lights explode as she makes her final strut down the runway, with the closing shot showing her and her daughter playing dress-up in a wheat field.

    9CL: In other words, you’re a bitch.

    Dagwood: Meta!

    JP: Funny brownies + sympathetic cancer patient = the Sexiest Medicinal Marijuana Plotline EVAH! Bite it, Batiuk!

  202. migellito
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    “It’s downright sadistic to place a TV mere inches above the floor, then cornhole the first person who tries to watch it.”

    Unless it’s Archie.

  203. Calico
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    3G – Alan will get smashed, then race to the gallery and knife all of Luann’s paintings, then somehow make it appear as a tragic accident caused by a gang of very large rats.

    MW – Well, that sure was anticlimactic. Thanks again, Mary.

    RM – I so want to see Lee go ass over teacups in the wet, muddy woods. Females definitely not invited to this little soirée of experienced woodsmen!

    FC Just replace the “Dart” with “Big”, and you have the story of the Keane kids.

    SlyFox – WTF is in the box? A dead animal? Bear Shit? Mike Patterson’s next manuscript?

  204. Whippersnapper
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    MC: I love that the gym has a hamster wheel!

  205. AhClem
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft – Batuik is toying with us. That’s not a beeping pacemaker. Crankshaft is backing up his bus, and instead of the mailbox, he’s going to flatten Keesterman’s snowman.

    Remember, you read it here first.

    Nude 60s and 70s TV characters – Who could be worse than Jonas Grumby, aka “The Skipper” on Gilligan’s Island?

  206. Calico
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    #205 – Wouldn’t the Skipper have been Alan Hale (Jr.)? Or am I missing something due to the “nude” reference? : )

    In any case, definitely not something to contemplate without causing an extreme nightmare.

  207. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Happy Camper: I finally saw the You Bet Your Life link you posted. Egads, the husband is hella spooky!! I couldn’t take more than a minute of him!

    167. KT: Bwahaha! Even better! In fact, it works largely because the font didn’t seem to have changed. (To be perfect, you needed to erase all the signature blocks except in the new last panel.)

    178. Hedley: Considering that a) I’m Canadian, and b) I’m French, there could be a good reason for me to not have had much exposure to a Boston indie band. :)

    More replies once I get to work and have time to read the new comics…

  208. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    FC: Hate to see what he’d do to get into Brown.

  209. Joey
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    206: Jonas Grumby was the Skippers real name.

  210. Joey
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    194: Is “Shultz” the Ann B Davis Character from the Bob Cummings Show?

  211. Godzooky
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    #182 Red Greenback: Turns out you can stay at Beverly Garland’s.

  212. Ranger
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]


    MT: A special procedure that apparently can only be done by the world famous physician, Dr. Porcupine!

    Or is that a beaver? Maybe its a mole person with mad skills!

  213. Calico
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    #207 – I don’t think Morphine really played in QC.
    Sandman’s band prior to Morphine was a weird group called “Treat Her Right”, and I did see them at-*drum roll* Dartmouth 20 yrs. ago, as part of a bill with Camper Van Beethoven. (I did not attend this prestigious College, BTW).
    I never really liked THR, liked Morphine band a little more-was sad, though, when I heard that Mark S. fell over on a stage in Italy and died of a massive MI.
    Sounds a little like FW but in real life, eh? : P

  214. Calico
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    #209 – OMG, I did not know that! It sounds so Dickensian. : )
    Thanks for the info!

  215. Scrog
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Billy’s close, but no cigar. Darts isn’t the pub skill that will serve him best at Dartmouth–it’s heavy, heavy, heavy drinking.

  216. Eats Shoots And Leaves
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    #96: commodorejohn

    January 10, 2008

    That kid in the Blondie strip has been READING A STRIP ABOUT HIMSELF!

  217. AhClem
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    #206 Calico -
    As Joey #209 mentioned, Jonas Grumby was the Skipper’s character name, and was played by Alan Hale Jr.

  218. cheech wizard
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Interesting wrinkle to the rough sketches of Pibgorn that are being posted the day after – today’s dialog doesn’t match the final text — apparently, what looks like Drusilla in the hyper-virtual reality is a combination of both Pib and Dru – same as the apparition in Spitcock’s lab (now there’s a filthy name for you).

    But what the hell are Charlies? I mean, I know what they are, but I’ve never heard the term before. Anyone else out there familiar with it?

  219. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Thursday goodness

    A3G: That’s Ruby?? She looks ten years older and her hair cropped too short. Did she do a sidetrip to the Funky universe or something?

    Archie: What’s cute is how Bettie openly shows her nerdiness by wearing a Star Trek TNG sweater at school. I get the feeling she can’t be more mocked than before for it…

    BB: Considering the computer is a relic from the 70s from the look of it, Gizmo is indeed in for the long haul.

    Blondie: Okay, how often does Dagwood go meta?

    Curtis: Why would his little brother take umbrage at the epithet? To me, “warlock” evokes images of prestigious spellcasters, grim adventurers… old DC trapped-in-past-land adventures… scribbly-exploded “techno-organic” deus ex machina mutant from Marvel.. okay, perhaps he does have a reason to feel insulted.

    DT: Finally!! Someone has a normal, sane reaction to all of this insanity and Dick’s stupidity: laughing their fool head off!

    FC: I… words fail me.

    Garfield: …is getting the same problems as Get Fuzzy – too little humour spread over too long a time. Pacing, people, pacing!!

    GT: And someone else reacting properly to a character’s attitude! What is this spread of sanity in inasne strips? It must be stopped!!

    JP: Tell me I’m not the only one getting the impression that Abbey, in panel 2, is thinking about an all-ladies threesome as she asks where the other two are.

    Big Dog: WTF?? Is this official “playing with readers’ minds” day or what??

    MC is made of nothing but WIN today. I call that it’s Reeky Rat’s nephew, having done good at last for the family name. Hamster wheel! Monkey bars! And can we get a close-up on the two ladies in panel 2? Panel 3: rhino plugger? yes maybe? :)

    Phantom: A trimmer Bloefeld? A more hirsute Glad Hefty Man? An older Mr. Clean?

    SlyFx: Evidently, Weirdly hopes that his prank at the county fair gets to roque the fort.

  220. Finsfan
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Oh for Fuck’s sake can we please just get to the point in the story where Alan stumbles batshit drunk back over to the gallery where he “accidentally” sets all of Luann’s paintings on fire in what is most definitely not a jealous rage (because one can only suspend so much disbelief) and in doing so traps Eric and Margo inside in the middle of their mad passionate “love” making, only they don’t notice because they assume the flames are the natural hellfire that erupts whenever Margo spreads her legs?

  221. Calico
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    #220 – Sweet!

    “Alan went to get some gaso-um, er, I mean, punch.”

  222. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    171. Frank Parsnip: oh sweet lord, that does look like Momma in Slylock. Ew.

    208. Spider-Brick: obviously, words didn’t fail you on FC. And.. ewwwww mental image.

    220. Finsfan: I’d say “ew mental image” too but it’s one we all have had concerning Margo…

  223. Lord-z
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Aaaand, Garfield is right back to normal, almost. I can see the idea behind todays joke, but it is sloppily done, especially the middle panel, which actually ruins the pregnant pause.

    The problem with Garfield is that the guys dows at Paws Inc. don’t let well enough alone. Even if a punchline is good without Garfields comment, Garfield still has to make the comment. That is, or rather was, especially a problem during the strips where Jon called women to ask for dates, in which Garfield rarely added anything, but instead stole attention from Jon’s punchline.

  224. Gagott68
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    MT: I’m assuming the unspecified “new procedure” was formulated by Drs. Herb & Jamal. And I guess that while getting Mr. Wilson on the phone is so important that it’s something they “can’t wait on”, it’s not so important that the doctor would call Wilson himself. God forbid, he damage his cuttin’ finger by dialing a phone number. Finally, how close to Lost Forest is that unspecified “nearby big city” or is that a gigantic, radioactively mutated porcupine in the foreground?

    PMP: Sick, disturbing, brilliant!

  225. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    My apologies, Je vous en prie! I think of you as boulevardier. You are so erudite and recondite and you know a lot about music you would know of them.

    And to steal a line from Mel Brooks, they’re wold famous in Boston.


  226. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:08 am [Reply]



    20 years ago? Christ. Sheesh. That’s almost as long ago for me. Where does the time go.? There was an energy when they played that I really enjoyed. I had not heard them before I went to the show. The crowd had an incredible age range. People as old as I am now (53) were there. They seemed really old to me then. Anyway thanks for having heard of them and MS.

    Except in FW, his family would have flown in secretly to surprise him AFTER the show. They would be in the back of the hall. Right?

  227. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    I thought it was Alfred the Butler from the Batman TV Series.

    Naked TV Stars From The Sixties I Don’t Want To Imagine (NTVSFTSIDWTI)

    Leo G. Carrol
    Fred Flintstone
    Ruth Buzzie

  228. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:15 am [Reply]


    S-M: Simon Krandis has more moldy lines than a zombie coke dealer. If he’s any threat at all to the Parkers’ marriage, Peter’s an even sadder case than previously thought.

    TDIET: “The urge to talk to him by smoke signal?” Gotta say I didn’t see that one coming.

    GT: I came this close to being turned on by the third panel. Dodged it, but still. Gil Thorp people. Maybe I should take that spiritual retreat in the Arizona desert.

    RMMD: As the stormy and desperate night progresses, Lee is exposed for what he really is: the world’s angriest Smurf.

    Archie: Jughead stares in horror at the bizarre custom of eating green vegetables.

    Momma: The material is less depressing than it would be in “Funky Winkerbean,” but only just.

    9CL: The dialogue–really Julia’s monologure for the most part–carries an air of wit and sophistication, and yet makes no sense. It’s like Aaron Sorkin wrote it on crank.

    Big Dog: Go ahead, keep telling dumb cat jokes. Wait for the Get Fuzzy crossover. If anyone deserves a little Bucky Katt in their lives.

    A3G: The woman in the doorway can’t stop staring at the fuchsia ribbons in Ruby’s hair. It’s like a derailed train.

    FC: Heeheehee. You’ll have to excuse me while I dry my eyes here. Funniest thing I’ve heard all day. Billy getting into a good college. Maybe if Thel goes down on a Senator. Even then it’s a slim chance.

  229. Rainbird
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke Who is telling the dumb cat joke? Is it Marmaduke? And what would that would like? “Woof, meow, woof woof?”

    Is the owner on too many drugs? First martians, now this?

  230. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    #206 Calico,
    Alan Hale Jr was the actor, but Jonas Grumby was the little-used name of the character.

  231. gkl
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    MW: I always thought green was an earth tone. So how come none of the shades of green in today’s strip have ever been seen in nature?

    GA: I know it’s ultimately going to flame out in a blaze of suck, probably by tomorrow, but I’m totally digging the infinite illicite photography loop that’s started.

    GT: While most people would be peeved that Andrew felt the need to boast about his basketball stats, the ladies (?) of Milford have chosen to be angry not that he did so, but that he used up one of their precious text messages to do so.

    Plugger: If the plugger only buys food for his grandkids, one could surmise that he himself stops eating. But then, how is he still so fat? That, my friends, is the sound of one mind boggling.

    MT: Of course! The X-rays didn’t show any way to save the murderer’s life, but this kindergardener’s crayon rubbing does! *smack* I could have had a V-8!

    And finally, on a somber note:

    Dear Funky Winkerbean,
    I never thought I’d say this, but without cancer, you bore me. I’m afraid I’m dropping you from my morning snark hunt. It’s not me, it’s you. Good bye.

  232. Rainbird
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    181 Bobdog When I read Pluggers I thought, why would she buy stuff that was bad for her grandchildren? What sort of grandmother is that? Is she trying to bribe them, because their mother feeds them better than that? Sort of sad. The stuff probably sits in the freezer for months until they come over.

  233. Darkefang
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m starting to get a mental image of the women who patronize Ruby’s chain of hair salons, unable to hold their heads upright under the weight of all the bows.

    FC: Considering his son’s height and the fact that they’re playing with metal-tipped darts, Bil’s happy that Billy hasn’t ever heard of Ball State University.

    FW: That kid from yesterday is her husband? I guess it’s only natural that in the Funky Winkerbean universe, Mary Kay Letourneau would work at Westview High.

    GA: I can’t figure out why the mailman is drawn realistically, while the rest of the Gasoline Alley cast is stylized. There’s no joke there, I just find it confusing.

    MT: That tumor might be curable, but there’s no cure for that pillow he’s being smothered with right now.

    MW: What, Mary isn’t going to meddle in Ralphie’s owner’s business? She doesn’t even have any bad advice to give him? C’mon Mary, throw us a bone. How about at least misquoting something from an obscure philosopher?

  234. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    BC: Not bad at all. Kinda like Hart before he lost it.

    Baldo: Doesn’t Lou Dobbs have better things to do than troll some teenager’s blog?

  235. Rainbird
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    196 Spiny Norman Glad you have power. :)

    I too thought it was two gay fish as well, then thought that they had mated while Clumsy had his head out of the water for a moment. But I guess you are right, that the fish just arn’t going to mate.

  236. huntingbyrd
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    GT: “Who’s Da man??” He just jumped 60 years into the future!But apparently he a loser by texting his “friend” how many points he got….LIKE THEY CARE!

  237. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    232. Rainbird: sadly, that’s what my grandmother used to do. Mind you, this was 30+ years ago, and there were still few frozen foods available, and she still was not used to newfangled things like freezers on top of refrigerators, or knew concept such as “freezer burns”. And once it was bought, the money was NOT going to go to waste, despite my mother’s objections. Thankfully, I don’t remember many of those happening, but I think for a while I didn’t like going over there.

    Mind you, she had a bitching cranberry pie recipe, and it seems I can now do it better than even my mother…

  238. AtomicDog
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Edge City – Since the captain of a vessel is responsible for what happens aboard her, shouldn’t he pay the fine?

    Would serve the geezer right.

  239. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Oh, and 229 Rainbird, on Marmaduke, second thought:

    I actually wouldn’t mind much if we had more of these kinds of strips (martians, cat jokes). Why? It would be something new. An actual variation on the theme of “Haha, he’s a big dog”. Sense? Since when did a strip have to make sense to a) be potentially funny or b) appear on the comics page? (See DT, GT et al).

  240. Tweeks_Coffee
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    BB: Okay, this whole kids-shopping-at-Victoria’s Secret thing is just too creepy.
    ‘Shaft: Say what you will about Batiuk, but it’s downright decent of the doctor to wait until he’d finished the snowman to inform him about the terminal illness.
    DT: So now they’re going to accept a ghost’s testimony? Man, you’re really grasping at straws now, Dick.
    FC: I would really like to know exactly how Billy is throwing that dart. You’re not going to get into a good college if you keep defying physics, Billy.
    GT: What the hell is going on in the last panel? Is that leg across the girl in black? Is there something dirty happening and I just can’t figure it out?
    MW: Well that was disappointing. An awful lot of time was wasted on this stupid little dog story.
    MC: Mouse in a giant wheel behind them: Awesome. Buff, somewhat androgynous mouse: Awesome. Monkey on monkeybars: Awesome.
    Phantom: A summons for jaywalking? Damn, that must’ve been a helluva a jaywalk to go above the standard fine.
    SFx: I like how this odoriferous item leads to several FOOB relations on this site. Now that is why I come here.

  241. Anonymous
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    #240 said “I would really like to know exactly how Billy is throwing that dart. You’re not going to get into a good college if you keep defying physics, Billy.”

    Al Gore got into college just fine and he defies physics everyday.

  242. Rob
    January 10th, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace- I love the ticked off look that the guy is giving Dennis, but not as much as I love the fact that Joey is wearing the same type of head wrap that my grandmother wears.

    Family Circus- considering Dad can reach out and place the darts in the bullseye I’m thinking he’s gonna win.

    Funnky Winkerbean- After reviewing the first draft of the strip they decided a failed writer whose student has surpassed him wasn’t quite depressing enough so they added a depressed teenager seconds away from suicide to the second panel.

    Gil Thorp- Yeah I often read text messages by holding the phone by the top and backwards.

    Heathcliff- You may know about full moons and new moons, but check out the very rare pac-man moon

  243. bats :[
    January 10th, 2008 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    218. Cheech Wizard re Pibgorn: I’m taking a wild guess here, but I suspect charlies are breasts. Unless succubus and/or fairy skin is transparent (and I don’t remember this from the old Vaughn Bode days), I can’t imagine her admiring her own kidneys/lungs/ovaries/Fallopian tubes.

  244. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 10th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Today’s One Big Happy has a perhaps inadvertent shout-out to 20th-century philosopher of science Nelson Goodman and his new problem of induction.

  245. Lord-z
    January 10th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Well, it is clearly Mark Trail who is behind the sudden cure for cancer. Because even Mark Trail is not cold enough to punch a dying man.

  246. Little Guy
    January 10th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    yester-Peanuts: I used to update the “Hyannis Port” punchline in the compliation chapbook with the latest administration, from San Clemente to Kennybunkport.

    Come to think of it, I haven’t dreamt of Crawford lately.

  247. Rainbird
    January 10th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]


    So from take the A Train Gents to Who’s da man. I think that the guy is an alien who bought a book of colloquialisms from the 20-21st century, but forgot to read when each one was spoken.

    Anyone have any better theories?

  248. Rainbird
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Tweeks_Coffee 240

    I think the joke is that mailing lists target everyone, including the family dog. See Mary worth getting Maxim ads for Chester. That is the joke, not that kids shop at Victoria Secrets.

  249. Funky smelling crankshafted corpse
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    crankshaft: Trying to give the phrase “Funny as a heart attack” a new meaning.

    9CL: I guess Ms. Burber didn’t get laid last night.

    FW: Embrace the suck!

  250. Bunnë
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    246 Little Guy
    THANK YOU! My god, my entire life that punchline has been bothering me because I didn’t know what it meant. I always meant to look it up, but on the grand scale of things I need to look up, it ranks kind of low.

  251. cheech wizard
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    243/bats :[ – that’s what I figured – I just never heard the term before. Looks like Brooke is winging it linguistically.

  252. Bunnë
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    I’m really hoping this week’s series ends with young Britneigh says “Juliette Burber, normally I don’t enjoy delivering a subpeona, but you’ve made it feel oddly satisfying.”

  253. queek
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    add me to the list of “background detail in MC was wonderful” folks. The trainer is supposed to be a mouse or rat? I was hoping for a bufftastic ferret, but the tail isn’t fluffy. The comics pages needs more ferrets, is all I’m sayin’.

    Today’s SallyForth was a big “awwwwww”

  254. StrangeRover
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: Whoa, what’s going on with the mailman? He’s technologically up-to-date AND he’s drawn really well. Also he’s involved in something that has the potential to be interesting.
    Was there some kind of coup or something?

  255. PeteMoss
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    I actually prefer the “Margo Magee” style of nastiness to the “Dr. Juliette Burber” approach. Margo is more instinctual, without all of the pretentious, pseudo-intellectual, overly-academic crap. Burber is obviously working hard at being a pompous ass, whereas Magee’s arrogance and contempt flow naturally from the very core of her being. Margo’s rude, self-importance is honest and refreshing – like a tsunami or a blizzard.

  256. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    252. Bunnë: The mention of “Britneigh” is what made me check the last few days of 9CL. Holy crap, this is twisted and wrong. Not to mention not funny. I can well see parents wanting a “different spelling” of Britney and choosing Britneigh, but how, upon normal conversation, would someone leap to the completely idiotic spelling right off the bat? Even if I heard someone pronounce it “Brit-nay”, I’d still think “Britney” with a weird way to pronounce it. You’d have to go “as in Britwhinny” for me to even contemplate the possibility, and even then, I’d have to see it to believe it.

    Also, I’d definitely have pity on the poor person, but none for the parents. (It’s not always feasible to change one’s name in certain circumstances.)

  257. Loopina
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Possibly the grandma is buying all the fancy shit for the grandkids because all she needs to survive are the staples: pig knuckles, oatmeal, Jim Beam, and prunes. Or she buys all generics. I don’t bother with coupons because brandname stuff is still usually more expensive than the store label. I did buy Coca Cola (rather than Save-A-Lot’s Valu-Time Cola) when my parents came to visit. So I’m a reverse generational Plugger?

    SFx: Superb, as always. Even without the exposition, these puzzles rock – much better than the “find the difference” and “how to draw” ones. Look at the clown making sexy eyes at Mrs. Bunny; and the Gator Man with arms spread, protecting the children from the vile stench of the mysterious box. Even the little critter under the steps is regretting his hiding place.

  258. MrsLadybird
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Wait…you mean people in New York City DON”T all look alike?!? Next you’re going to tell me it’s a diverse place with many different cultures. Crazy, I tell you!

  259. cheech wizard
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    218, 243: Re: Pibgorn, after taking the radical step of doing some actual research, “Charlies” are listed as boobs in the Dictionary of Slang and the Frank Sinatra Dictionary. The Urban Dictionary says a Charlie is a woman so sexually attractive she gives men an erection just by looking at her. And apparently in Australia, a Charlie is a more general term for a girl.

    Is anyone else familiar with this useage? Are there areas or eras in the U.S. where Charlie has been commonly used in this way, Frank Sinatra notwithstanding?

  260. Loopina
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy: Continuity in Snuffy Smith? That’s different. Although I have to admit, I love the little pink bow that hound dog is wearing. It’s just cute.

    TDIET: Does anyone know how many more TDIETs there are before we run out? And if they are going to go into reruns, to a new artist, or just get discontinued?

  261. AhClem
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    #256 Niall -
    If Michael Patterson were writing 9CL, she would be “Britnaugh.”

  262. PeteMoss
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Nurse, would you please get Mr. Wilson on the phone. This is something on which we cannot wait. Tarry us not upon this thing to which waiting would forbidden. A delay of this thing to which we must contact Mr. Wilson, is not acceptable. Chop, chop. Toot sweet. Yee haw.

  263. Demonique
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    The People for the Ethical Treatment of Clay-based Animals (PETCA) would like to talk to Mr. Lodge about how many Chia Pets had to die for his sweater.

  264. cheech wizard
    January 10th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Why is Rudy going into catering? Doesn’t she own three hair salons in Texas? Isn’t that kind of like being in the oil business down there?

  265. Uncle Lumpy
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    If she were posting here, she could be Britnnë.

  266. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    The GA mailman is indeed looking different; but what I wonder most, is why a) he’s wearing a colonial hat and b_ why he’s wearing a beret under the colonial hat, as today’s panel 1 shows.

    Also: I like the Chron’s new feature of “last week” in addition to last day. I mean, sure, just about every webcomic host (especially Keenspot) has had it for, oh, at least five years…

  267. AhClem
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    #262 PeteMoss -
    The formal address in MT (“Nurse, would you…”) makes me wonder how this would work in other strips.

    RMMD – “Little, would you pick up that bar of soap for me? That’s a good lad!”
    MW – “Meddler, please give me my dog.”
    JP – “Counselor, what is this stuff in my underwear drawer?”
    MT – “Outdoor writer, what did you do with my facial hair?”

  268. Allie Cat
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    MW – I am really hoping that tomorrow, Chesteralphie finds his way back to Mary Worth’s door – in the style of Incredible Journey. Just because that would be the only possible pay-off for this ricockulous setup.

    Also – in non comic related stuff – I’m throwing a baby shower this weekend with two other hostesses. We just found out that the one responsible for the cake got the kind where you put a copy of an actual photo on top as decoration. The photo she’s using is one of the mother’s sonograms. We’re horrified, but we don’t want to hurt her feelings. So…the good news is that it’s not a red velvet cake.

    This is weird, right? We’re not being overly sensitive in thinking that it’s kind of a strange thing to have on a cake?

  269. Loopina
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    #254: Re: GA. The mailman’s story has come to an abrupt halt in panel three. It appears that the strip is being drawn in the “6 Chix” fashion, with different artists taking turns at panels.

    #256: I always see the default spelling as “Brittany”, as in the dog. I was aware of Brittanies long before there was a Britney. But I can sympathize with Britneigh, since I always have to spell my first and last names on the phone. Sometimes more than once – and they still get it wrong half the time. Listening to people try to pronounce it is even funnier.

    #259: When I read Charlie, I thought Viet Cong. Which made even less sense.

    Allie, you are correct. That is an insane and wrong thing to put on a cake. But at least you’ll get a cool story to tell.

  270. Bunnë
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    256, Niall,
    I figure it’s Juliette channeling the Car Talk guys. “I can tell how you spell your name just by hearing your voice.” Dr. Burber is prickly, but psychic, too, so it’s OK.

    Unless “Britneigh” is pronounces using all the letters, like “brit-neh-eeekkkhhhh”, in which case pity is definitely in order.

    I used to work with a “Lesagh”, a spelling invented by her parents in a fit of Irish pride (and to make up for the “gh” dropped from their last name in a previous generation). When she got married and changed her name, she switched to Lisa.

  271. PeteMoss
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    267 AhClem -

    Heheheheh. funny. Meddler, please give me my dog.

    This is a dog we can’t wait on!

  272. PeighteMoss
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    I’m going to start using the “eigh” as often a possible just to piss off Dr. Burber, capiceighce?

  273. Mike
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    #171 – If Mary Worth is a glimpse into the world of tomorrow, I can hardly wait until the day where Mary suddenly disappears, and the food supply increases in correspondence.

  274. Mountain Mama
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Allie Cat: Sonogram as the picture on the cake? Yuck. I would veto that. Did the future mommy approve that cake design?

  275. Dingo
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    I realize that Gil Thorp is written for older readers with a penchant for sports but does the drawing style have to be middle Egyptian? Where’s Anubis?

  276. Flipper
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Am I the only one who sees Niki’s right hand on Rex’s crotch, and Rex ordering him to “Move it!”? I am? Oh, that’s not good…

  277. Perky Bird
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    #268 Allie Cat–

    That is indeed VERY creepy. But I also think cakes with any photos of actual people (or in this case, a pre-born person) are creepy.

    But to make matter worse, now you can’t invite our own dear Dingo to the party. The guest of honor would then have to shout, “Dingo ate my baby!!”

  278. AhClem
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    #268 Allie Cat -
    Remind me never to have your friend order the cake for a “Happy Successful Colonoscopy” party.

  279. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    171. Frank Parsnip on Slylock and the “white bear wall”: I can’t believe it took me until now, but we’re looking at the back of the wall, with the place to stand facing us; the other side is from where they take the photos. Weber cleverly found a way to not show what those would be, though I think he could make an awesome job of coming up with something. :) I can see Slylock in the “papa” hole, Cassie in “mama”, and Max in “baby”. Making for a truly disturbing picture…

    257. Loopina: I had not noticed the clown making googly eyes at the bunny mother. I’m wondering why Max is in that particular position… Implications are rather dirty (in a more literal sense than usual).

    268. Allie Cat: I never heard of a cake with a photo on top (I assume on a holder keeping it vertical, not horizontally layered on top). While it makes a certain logic to have a sonogram for a baby shower cake, it makes for a certain… unusual feel, yes. Kind of like it was a negative-value birthday.

    …wait, from 274 Mountain Mama, does it mean one where the frosting on top recreates a photo? Then HELL YES it’s bad. Cutting up the baby! WRONG!

    269. Loopina: Oh, spelling over the phone. As you can see, I’m well-itimated with that fact. Worse, my last name ends with my first name with the vowels inversed, just to make it extra-confusing! I only really insist on it for cheques and really official documents, though.

    270. Bunnë: “Lesagh”?? There’s pride (my last name is courtesy of my Irish grandfather about, oh, 80 years ago, un-anglicising the spelling) and then there’s hubris.

    278. AhClem: this is where a milk chocolate frosting would be forbidden.

  280. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: I like the way Thomas is cupping his hand over Ralphie’s lipstick, to not offend these upstanding Charterstonions. Thomas is indeed Ralphie’s true owner. Moy, oh Moy, could you please please, do an Aldo-esque storyline in your next episode of Mary Worth?! The Divine O’Fogeyette and I know you cruise The Comics Curmudgeon daily, so throw us a bone here, Karen…just sayin’

  281. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke – So Marm’s owner can “hear” the Big Dog “telling jokes”, eh? And he wants to share this with US?? Isn’t this how Son of Sam got started?

    SFox I think Bob Weber just got ZYLA and decided to RNTU a Slylock “STYMRYE” into a ERADMBCSL-word ZLPZEU instead. Maybe we really don’t want to know what’s in that box.

    DT – “Theatrical”? Try “operatic melodrama”! Is Hennessy’s daughter named “Lucia” by any chance?

    MT – Interesting: either the Lost Forest folks are unusually fortunate in having a high-rise medical center in the middle of their woods; or the city park where that hospital is has a truly strange variety of wildlife (BTW, what IS that? A hedgehog? A woodchuck?)

    GA – @ #254: yes: not only an uncharacteristically clever use of perspective: but that mailman does seem “technologically advanced” – my first thought on seeing that panel was that he was wearing a space helmet!

  282. Mountain Mama
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    #278: Oh, AhClem, you bring back some icky memories. I had to get a colonoscopy a few years back. Before the anesthesia took effect, the nurse explained the procedure and said that the doctor would be able to watch what he was doing on the TV screen and that “you can watch it as well.”

    NO WAY. Thankfully, I slept through 97% of it and kept my eyes closed for the rest.

  283. gh
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    I don’t read 9CL, but with all the “gh” talk above, I figured I’d better take a peek. I don’t think ghuliette and I would get along.



  284. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    Anonymous @ 241 wrote:

    Al Gore got into college just fine and he defies physics everyday.

    But Al Gore has ridden the mighty moon worm!

    Niall @ 266: The Chron has been doing the “last week” thing for as long as I’ve been using the site. Maybe you haven’t seen it before because they only do it on black-and-white strips (probably because color strips are bigger files and would take too much bandwidth).

  285. Mountain Mama
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: Who wants to see LuAnn? It’s Ruby! What a shock!

    MW: Mary hands over the dog and….walks away! Wow!

    Where are my smelling salts?

  286. Trotzenbonnie
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    #268 – Allie Cat
    What the friggity hell? Why don’t you just smear a handful of pocket lint all over the top of the cake? That’s all a sonogram looks like to me.
    Ooh. Before the picture goes to the bakery maybe you could paste George Clooney’s mug where the face is supposed to be. It may be inspirational if the mother is planning to breastfeed.

  287. AhClem
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    #282 Mountain Mama -
    I had one of those last year. The anesthesia was very mild, and I was alert and awake throughout the whole procedure. I actually thought the images on the screen were pretty interesting. Maybe that’s my natural scientific curiosity, or else I’m a real sicko.

    The worst part of the whole thing? One word: Golytely. Ewwwww.

  288. Little Guy
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    249: No, Dr Julli has eternal PMS.

  289. Gregoire
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – what are the Doodlebops doing in this strip?

  290. PeteMoss
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    I think you guys may be on to a whole new market for bakeries with these special cakes. Imagine a three layer german chocolate with your appendix on top – “Happy successful appendectomy.” Or maybe “Happy Gastral By-Pass.”

  291. bats :[
    January 10th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Allie Cat: ew. All I can think of is a weird (really weird) pro-lifer tea party. Anyway, the cake will be pretty much butt-ugly as a result, won’t it? Unless sonograms have come a long way, they’re still fairly drab and greyish-brownish-ecruish-pukeish, aren’t they?

  292. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    I had a colonoscopy a few years back. and I slept through the hole whole procedure. I’ma go back and have another one done just for shits and giggles. And I’m fabulously wealthy! and I want photos on my birthday cake (June 4, shop early) Oh yeah! Comix related: Cathy rust pie.

    January 10th, 2008 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    I’m late to the party, but let me say I love both Treat Her Right and Morphine, both of whom I saw live in Boston, back in the day. Seeing them mentioned, makes me warm and tingly all over. And I didn’t even pee my pants (this time).

  294. commodorejohn
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    9CL – You know what? I agree that the tendency of modern parents to come up with alternate spellings for names is really stupid (it’s just another facet of the damnable “show baby” mentality too many parents have, but that’s another rant for another time,) but that’s not the poor girl’s fault, you horrendous bitch.

    A3G – Whoa, Luann looks a lot more human (i.e. not mannequin) than usual in panel one. Like, with facial expressions and everything.

    BB – Panel two (removed by syndicate): Gizmo explains that if General Halftrack is going to look at porn on his work computer, he should at least have some kind of spyware-blocker/antivirus program and firewall set up. You let those sites run rampant on your system and suddenly you’re hosting a spammer from Russia without even knowing it.

    Crankshaft – Since Crankshaft is more about the misery and despair of old age and making fun of the elderly, I think this is an “IED!”-style false scare and that’s his pager or cell phone, but with Batiuk you just never know how far he’ll go to up the misery quotient. (If it is a coronary, hey, Dean Booth totally called it.)

    Curtis – Curtis actually had a pretty damn funny punchline today. Of course, I like to take it literally and imagine that Barry actually is sacrificing a chicken in his room while chanting in some long-forgotten tongue, but even as merely an insult it’s pretty amusing.

    DT – Good lord, she’s built like a linebacker. I know nitpicking the anatomy in Dick Tracy is almost as pointless as nitpicking the anatomy in Gil Thorp, but come on.

    FC – Sorry, Billy, but football is how idiots like you get into college.

    FOOB – And thus did the horrid self-righteousness begin.

    FW – Wow, even the random nobodies in this comic are miserable! Check out panel two’s glum starer.

    GA – I am so using panel one as an album cover if I ever make an album. …what kind of music would one find on an album titled I’d better take a shot of his license tag while I’m at it!? Also, there’s no better way to point out just how obviously this guy is a Don Knotts cameo than to include one of GA’s usual cartoony denizens in the same strip.

    GT – YE GODS GIL’S FOREHEAD! Also, climb down off your dinosaur already, Andrew.

    HOTC – And thus did Dean and Heart set out on the path to learning the terrible, terrible truth of what “Rule 34″ is all about.


    Luann – And suddenly, Luann gets actually amusing in its notion that the freaking chamber of commerce is going to engage in a Stalinist purge when its ditzy teen-girl-squad representative commits an ethics violation.


    MW – And, in the end, it doesn’t even matter. Way to totally fritter away TWO MONTHS AND NINE DAYS!

    MC – I love all the stuff going on in the background – the ladies are lovely, and that monkey dude doing weightlifts with his tail is just awesome.

    RMMD – Wow, Lee is almost as appalingly stupid as Rex!

    SFx – Add me to the list of people whose principle observation here is that “BEAR FAMILY FUNNY PHOTO” does not actually have anything funny on it. Maybe Weirdly has the queue set up to come from behind the board, and only after the photo is taken do they discover he’s been cheating them. The smelly cheese box thing is there to distract Slylock from his heinous scheme.

    SM – Why are you dressed like a stage magician? If you call this a “disappearing act,” I suppose maybe that would fit, but otherwise it’s just kind of incongruous.

  295. Allie Cat
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    #291, et al – What kind of scares me is that she’s actually going to use one of the 4D pictures that they do late in the pregnancy where it actually looks like a defacto baby. Which is possible worse than a black/white amorphous blob.

    I’ve thought about offering to carry it in and “accidentally” dropping it.

    The mother is going to be either delighted or horrified. She’s kind of a control freak. I’ll be interested to see her reaction. Her husband has a good sense of humor, and I think he’ll find the whole thing ridiculous.

    Thanks for validating me though – I am trying to be less judgmental and so I wanted a reality check.

  296. gh
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of colonoscopies . . .

  297. Bunnë
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Allie Cat
    My two cents: pictures on a cake is bad juju. The cake might be cute to some people, but they you have to take a knife to it. Not wise to freak out pregnant lady!

  298. bergamot
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Ltrptp Hedly: about Morphine, I heard them a lot in college (mid ’90s)– my prog-rock-lovin’ boyfriend was a big fan. I think the Iguanas sound a little bit like them, though maybe it’s just the lethal-sounding bari sax.

    Re: yesterday’s PBS, so Pee-Wee Herman stole the secret word idea from Groucho?

  299. The Waz
    January 10th, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, “charlies” is english slang…

    More information on Charlies may be found on the web

  300. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    294. commodorejohn on MC: Yikes, I hadn’t even noticed the Panel 2 monkey was weightllifting with his tail</iL. That’s even more Winsome.

  301. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    And I lose some all by my lonesome with some bad fingers. Should have done a checksum (preview).

  302. PeteMoss
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    Nice charlies on that cake, ma’am.

  303. PeteMoss
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    I like Morphine – Buena, Candy, Honey White, Supersex. Wish I could have seen them. RIP, Mark Sandman.

    “I knew Mark Sandman. Mark Sandman was a friend of mine. You, Archie, are no Mark Sandman.” And I think, ultimately, that’s the point that Mr. Lodge is about to make – with the tip of his shoe.

  304. The Atheist
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Allie Cat! The following is true!

    I work for the Catholic Archbishop of my city. Someone once sent him a cake with an airbrushed picture in icng on the top. I don’t think it was an actual photo since it was a pic of Jesus embracing the Pope. He sent it to the employee lunchroom for everyone to share. I saw it after is was partially eaten, and the weird thing is the employees (good Catholics all) ate only the Jesus part. Why not? They eat him in less tasty form on Sundays, but they carefully did not eat the Pope!

    I don’t eat cake generally but just cuz I had to, I had a piece of the Pope.

    Tasted like chicken.

    I’m not putting my name on this one.

  305. gleeb
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    304: Reminds me of the prize in the “Find the Popes in the Pizza” contest: an “I had a Peek at the Pope” button.

  306. Bootsy
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    re 9CL: I don’t think Dr. Burber’s funny or smart. She’s just mean. You can be a strong opinionated decisive woman without being a dick about it. I don’t need to act like that to achieve respect (indeed she achieves the opposite).

    It doesn’t do anything for her as a woman or an academic that she leaves people crying in her wake and then tells them she wears leopard print camisoles.

    I don’t need to hide the fact that I’m intelligent or that I have a nice ass. But I don’t have to flaunt it to make others feel bad either.

    Anything else is bad karma.


  307. Mountain Mama
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    Allie: “Golytely”? Is that the equivalent of Fleet? I had to have two bottles of that stuff. It made me sick even beyond the expected symptoms. And I must say that was 2002, and I haven’t had Jello since.

    I’m glad you have scientific curiousity. I wanted no part of it.

    Anyway, you must tell us how the mother reacted at that cake. I’d be slightly horrified, but I think pictures on cake is a bit strange in the first place.

  308. True Fable
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Jesus embracing the Pope, and you don’t think it was an actual photo? But of course it was! Sister Mary Elephant SAID it was!

    Boy, Josh sure knows some powerful people. That… that IS the Pope you meant, right? ;-)

  309. gh
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    #304 The Athiest –

    I don’t eat cake generally but just cuz I had to, I had a piece of the Pope.

    Tasted like chicken.

    I’m not putting my name on this one.

    No need to put your name on it; you’ve mentioned your employer before. Have a nice day — in Hell! :-)

  310. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    Allie Cat

    How about birthing pictures after the baby is born?

  311. AhClem
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    #307 Mountain Mama -
    Golytely is the stuff you drink a few hours before the procedure. It tastes like salty, slimy snot, and you have to drink a gallon of it, 8 ounces at a time, over a 3-4 hour period. You also don’t want to be more than 10 feet away from a bathroom while you’re drinking it. Nasty, nasty stuff, but I’ll admit it does its job very well.

    I don’t know if they had it back in 2002, but I sure wish it hadn’t been around in 2006.

  312. Buck Ripsnort
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    My hard drive is dying, so I’m a little late to the party. BUT, I’d just like to say that not only is that Archie 3rd panel a brilliant tribute to The Blue Guitar, but Mr Lodge’s anti-anatomical legs are rife w/ Hidden Meaning– he’s actually stepping over the prone Archie, but he wants to kick “America’s Typical Teen” in the ass so hard the twerp goes flying.

  313. Agnostic Crostic
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    I had a taste of Pope Cake.

    Tasted like Nazi Jackboot to me.

  314. AhClem
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    One more observation: When the primary discussion topics on a comics-related blog turn to colonoscopies and frosting-based ultrasound pictures, you KNOW the comics have reached a new low in lameness.

  315. Deena in OR
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    287, 307,311

    As part of my job, I am occasionally required to administer such nostrums as residents prepare for outpatient procedures. On behalf of all of us who must do so, I heartily beg forgiveness :)

  316. Stranger
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    I realize Grammar Police are not allowed near comics… but today’s Beetle Bailey makes me want to grab a red pen and mark it all up…which is problematic, since I read it online.

  317. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    I also had to have a stomach pump tube installed into my left nostril. Ouchie wow! The nurse told me she had to go through this in her training. She was bullshitting me about having a tube fed into her nose as part of her training? Nurses in the house, holla!

  318. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Allie Cat

    Or pix of the couple making the baby.

    And speaking of naked, here are a few more NTVSFTSIDWTI:

    Burgess Meredith
    Jackie Coogan
    Marion Lorne
    Esther Rolle

    But can you imagine nude pictures of them on a cake?!?!?

  319. Deena in OR
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Red, how old was the nurse? Honestly, that could make a difference.

  320. Deena in OR
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    PS…we’re having tornadoes here today.

  321. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    And thanks guys and gals for remembering Mark Sandman and Morphine. I was beginning to sound like a fogey and a crank.

    Normally I try hard to do one at a time.

    And why is Al Gore ignoring psychics?

  322. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    I heard Giddy Up Go, today. And thought of you. Especially the line about “…carrying the crippled kid.”

  323. PeteMoss
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Blondie- Weren’t we just talking about comic strip characters reading their own comic strips? Eeerie.

  324. Allie Cat
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    #304 – I love it. I’d have wanted a piece with pointy hat on it.

    I live in Nashville – home of the purloined “Nun Bun”. A coffee shop near our house, Bongo Java, baked a cinnamon bun that came out of the oven looking a lot like Mother Teresa. It was on display for about a decade, then about three years ago, it got snatched. Whereabouts are unknown.

    I’ll keep you all posted on the cake – and I’ll get Mr. Cat to take a few good photos which I will eventually share out.

  325. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]


    Allie Cat

    “Mother Teresa” and “snatch” are two words rarely used int the same sentence, but probably a good test of rule 34…..

  326. Allie Cat
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    #325 – I also snuck “loin” in there.

    Heh, heh.

  327. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    And almost got “purr”.

    Heh, heh, heh.

  328. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    ltrftp Hedly: The Red Sovine song about taking that little crippled kid for a ride was his mighty CB song: “Teddy Bear”
    Cathy Gil Thorp Foob Fwink Vaseline Alley must die! That one with Margo in it is kinda kewl , though oh! and Mary Worth leaves me limp ever since the Aldo ones.

  329. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Deena in OR
    Our thoughts and/or prayers are with you.

    I should have known that. Morphine should have done a cover of both songs, eh?

    Or The Doors. That would have been awesome.

  330. Jnoble
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Is that a low hanging pic of a car on the wall, or is it supposed to be a TV?

    Apartment 3G: The dialog here sounds vagely like it’s leading up to physical abuse. Yeah, I’d like to go into the kitchen for some “punch” too. ( *POW*!! )

    FC: Cue the overzealous ACLU to kick in the door and set ol’ Gramma straight about church and state legalisms

  331. Niall
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    304. The Atheist: that’s a funny story. And somehow makes sense – indeed because Jesus is representational and eaten periodically, but no one eats the pope.

    306. Bootsy: the photos of you were inconclusive about the state of your posterior attributes, but I’ll take your word for it. :) (Some might say that if you flaunted that, it would make them feel good, but they would be crass people.)

    314. AhClem: Or we’re bored. Because so few people are talking about the all-around greatness of today’s My Cage.

    325. Hedly: Those two expressions still weren’t used in the same sentence, either. :)

  332. dale
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Funky 1/10
    who is the woman? who is her husband? what did he do? when? how can one apologize for someone else?
    Somebody better step up and explain this or it will go on all of your permanent records.
    Crap! Now I have some questions about permanent records.

  333. Sobek
    January 10th, 2008 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    Some of you have wondered why Mr. Lodge is walking over Archie, instead of around him. Well look, Mr. Lodge is a busy, busy man, and he just doesn’t have time for detours on his way to the end table to get some lettuce.

  334. queek
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    in regards to Pibgorn and “charlies”

    I think it just goes to prove that Brooke is “enjoying” the fruits of his labors just a bit too much, if you know what I mean. (and I think that you do!)

    ( a Welz/Bode crossover strip comes to mind, but I doubt its online.)

  335. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of NTVSFTSIDWTI (ltrftp Hedly and earlier) reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where the gang are discussing which world leaders, past and present, are the least sexy.

    Lyndon Johnson
    Golda Meir
    Francois Mitterrand
    Leonid Brezhnev

  336. True Fable
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    #332 dale – Seriously? The woman is Bull Bushka’s wife, and she is apologizing to Les for Bull’s smart crack about Les’s not being a monetarily successful writer.

    Now just why she thinks she has to do Bull’s apologizing for him, rather than kick her husband in the shins and say “Oh yeah, where’s OUR fucking multi-million dollar mansion you earned by playing professional sports and mentoring to current sports heroes, asshole?!”, I don’t know.

    I would love it if she just told Les “yeah, my husband’s a dickhead; don’t let it bother you. Just between you and me, his dickhead’s not all that great anyway.”

    of course they wouldn’t PRINT it, but I’d like to see it anyway. >:-)

  337. PeteMoss
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    My Cage – Imagine all the hair that Monkey leaves behind on the bench. You think he’d remember to towel it down? For that matter, imagine having to sweep up that gym. Or not.

    FC – Is gramma standing up or is she just ginormous? Maybe Thel is slouching to make room for her thought balloon.

  338. UncleJeff
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    My 2 cents on the sonogram cake?
    Display it. Then, take a knife…slide it beneath the
    image. Lift it up and prop it up on an easel near the cake so no one is tempted/desperately trying to avoid said sonogram image. Problem solved.

    Really Big Dog: The most terrifying Marmaduke ever. And I could not understand the “cat” joke.

    Pibgorn: Why do I keep going to take a look when someone mentions this strip? It’s incomprehensible and I haven’t seen fairy boobies yet.

  339. Nina
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Regarding “Charlie” – well, one of the biggest selling perfumes of the 70′s and 80′s was Revlon’s “Charlie” fragrance, aimed at feminist-but-sexy career gals. Supposedly the name was in honor of Revlon honcho Charles Revson, but now I see that there was another meaning as well.

  340. Stranger...
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Jumble fans beware. The puzzle society’s version has gotten pretty weird recently. try it

    The puzzles are not matching the pictures which makes it even funnier…

    (See correct version: here)

  341. True Fable
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    #338 Uncle Jeff – re Pibgorn: Dude, the other day there were lightning bolts or electrical current or some such shit coming out of her boobage! It was…

    scary, really. =o

  342. Mountain Mama
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    Allie Cat: I had to drink Fleet…..Alka-Seltzer without the delicate finish. I had to mix two bottles of it with Sprite or 7-Up or something to get it down. I was so miserable.

    I remember being so hungry at one point and thinking about all the stuff I was going to eat after the procedure. However, the Fleet made me so ill that afterwards I crawled into bed, had a little chicken soup, and slept for hours.

    Hoo boy! How ’bout those comics? MC is pretty awesome today. It’s becoming one of my favorites.

  343. Calico
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    #268 – Even weirder, you could put a copy of the album cover from Nirvana’s “In Utero” on the cake.

    Now THAT would get some gasps and words a flyin’.

    In any case, Sonogram Cake does not sound very appealing at all. Good luck!

  344. This Just In
    January 10th, 2008 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    I don’t post here often, but today’s MW has driven me to the brink.

    Now I know what it’s like to be those guys in the movie (and book) “Jarhead.”

    Topic of tomorrows strip? Mary’s shoe gets untied on her walk home. She’ll get it tied back up and be home by Valentine’s Day.

  345. Anonymous
    January 10th, 2008 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    I would love it if she just told Les “yeah, my husband’s a dickhead; don’t let it bother you. Just between you and me, his dickhead’s not all that great anyway.”

    of course they wouldn’t PRINT it, but I’d like to see it anyway. >:-)

    I can picture their smirks as clear as if they were standing right in front of me.

  346. dyslexic dog
    January 10th, 2008 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    Coupla points..

    MW: Don’t worry, this is not the end. Late last night, when she thought we weren’t looking, Mary had Chralphster cloned, botched the job, and gave the rapidly stiffening mortis to Thomas. As an “animal lover” who leaves dying dogs in the middle of the road, he will not notice the transfer until Ralphie fails to respond to his finger-pistol.

    Beetle: You know Gizmo is staying all night. He remembered his colostomy bag.

    MT: If all they need to do is adjust the horizontal hold, Luke doesn’t really need to show up.

  347. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    January 10th, 2008 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    Spotted HØrse @ 184: I was all set to object to your use of the term “freshly fwinked” to refer to JP‘s Abbey, since the definition of the word is “fucked, but not in a good way.” Then I remembered it’s Sam Driver we’re talking about, and that’s the only way he can do it. So, carry on.

  348. dale
    January 10th, 2008 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    336 – True Fable
    Tnx. I was serious. Bull was not in the 1/9 strip. Even if he had been, I would not have known who his wife was.
    I never saw FW during the period these pieces of festering excrement were in high school.

  349. Forthillrox
    January 10th, 2008 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    Blaze reminds me of the subject of a song from a skit featuring Maya Rudolph’s Charli Coffey character on Saturday Night Live:

    Black Fedora
    Sittin’ in a restaurant in Paris France
    Cafe au lait, HELL I took a chance
    You saw my black fedora, parachute pants…

    …Put on my Ray Ban sunglasses
    Straightened my bolo tie…

    The story goes that it was written for Charli in the eighties, which apparently is someplace Blaze never left…

  350. snork3455
    January 10th, 2008 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke: AAAAAAAAH disembodied upper torsos AAAAAAAAH staring at me AAAH AAAAAAAAAAAH

  351. TantiveIV
    January 10th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    Verionica may be a ditsy rich girl, but in panel two she demonstrates her masterful ability to control her breasts by simply looking up.

  352. fluffytufts
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    #341 true fable – You’re right, and if you look closely enough and often enough, Brooke is pretty good at rendering fairy ass, as well. His earlier Pibgorn strips were sometimes a bit racier than the current crop, which is odd when you consider it used to be a 5 day-a-week deal, with even less time for full-page burners than he has now. Maybe he’s getting old.

  353. True Fable
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    # 348 dale – *tips hat*

    Actually, I would have been pretty lost without the latest Who’s Who in the Cancer Ward site.

  354. True Fable
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    “Brooke is pretty good at rendering fairy ass”

    I love that quote! I don’t imagine the fairies are too happy about it though. Damn opportunistic mortal!

  355. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    Damn, I keep posting comments, and we still ain’t got a new thread. I’m losing my touch.

  356. Brick Bradford
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    I couldn’t help but notice that the recipient of Andrew Gregory’s text message in today’s Gil Thorp appeared to be a Vulcan woman.

    Plastic Man dates T’Pau!

  357. alamo
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    241 — insult al gore anonymously? you are defying the law of psychics since i can’t figure out who you are. reveal yourself and stand up like the shrinking secret snarker that you are or forever remain scorned by all of your peers.
    well some us.

  358. alamo
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    people from the sixties i would like to see nekkid:
    ed sullivan
    walter cronkite
    durwood kirby
    lady bird johnson
    bella abzug

  359. Laura c
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    #339 – Didn’t “Charlie” use as its theme song “I can bring home the bacon/Fry it up in a pan/…’cause I’m a woman/W-O-M-A-N.”
    One of my favorite commercials of the 70s, along with the Old Spice sailor and the Native American who said “Maize! What you call corn.”

  360. Anonymous
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    Re. NTVSFTSIDWTI – don’t know if we covered:
    Mrs. Drysdale
    Claymore Gregg
    Aunt Esther

    All this ‘My Three Sons’ talk brought back a riff a friend had on the show (best read in character voice):
    Uncle Charlie: “Aah, yer all a buncha hard-ons – except for Ernie!”
    Ernie: “Gee, thanks, Uncle Charlie! …for not calling me a hard-on and junk.”
    Uncle Charlie: “Shaddap, yer a four-eyed hard-on!”

  361. Vince M
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    360: Err, that was me – sorry.

  362. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    People from the seventies I would not like to see making hot monkey sex:
    The neighbors on “Bewitched”
    Ann B. Davis and Sam the butcher on “The Brady Bunch”
    Hervé Villechaize and Ricardo Montalbán

  363. fluffytufts
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    Re. NTVSFTSIDWTI : Uncle Jesse and Mr. Whipple.

  364. Spotted HØrse
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    #268 Allie Cat:

    This is weird, right? We’re not being overly sensitive in thinking that it’s kind of a strange thing to have on a cake?

    It is weird. Having said that, I can think of worse things, say, a midnight office photocopy of pressed ham, which is definitely worse. You’re welcome!

    #278 AhClem: Your idea is worse than mine! Haha!

    #347 SSB:

    I was all set to object to your use of the term “freshly fwinked” to refer to JP’s Abbey, since the definition of the word is “fucked, but not in a good way.”

    Holy cow, I never read your entry into the Curmudgexicon on “fwink”… I meant it as a euphemism for, you know, when two people love each other very much, and they want to show their love, etc, etc. You know, the good way. Now I know the correct usage, such as “I’m fwinked, you’re fwinked, we’re all friggin’ fwinked.”

    #359 Laura c:

    Didn’t “Charlie” use as its theme song “I can bring home the bacon/Fry it up in a pan/…

    And nevernevernevernever let you/Forget you’re a man!
    Actually, that was “Enjoli,” or maybe “Woman by Enjoli.” “Charlie” went something like (ahem), “There’s a (fragrance?) that’s (here today?), and they cawl it… Char-leee!”

  365. Norman Fell
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    What about me? Back when I was alive and kicking, all those chicks dug me because I was hung like Uncle Miltie.

  366. Won Hung Lo
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    Norman Fell: Old Chinese proverb that is no longer available in fortune cookie: “It’s not the meat, it’s the motion” I do hold you in highest esteem for communicating with us from beyond the grave. My English, she’s not so good.

  367. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Norman Fell
    I thought Milton Berle died of natural causes. It was Milton Bradley who died by hanging. Some sort of sex game, I think.

    Re Charlie

    There was a (mostly manufactured) brouhaha over a print ad where the woman exec had her hand on a man’s pant covered butt.

    Where I come from, Cincinnati, Ohio, “Charlie” was the “code name” for a girl’s “cycle” according to the film the girls watched in 6th grade while the boys played outside and speculated on what the girls were doing.

    Now you know.

  368. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    norman fell, but pete rose

  369. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    This is late notice, but some Toronto-area Curmudgeonites are meeting tomorrow, Friday January 11th, at 4 o’clock in the afternoon, near Bloor and Spadina. Check the forums for details.

  370. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]


  371. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    And I think Lauren Hutton was the original model.

  372. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    Maggie May
    Emmanuel Kant

  373. Allie Cat
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Enjoli was OK, but if you really wanted a good cheap personal fragrance in the 70′s, nothing was better than Jean Nate.

    Or, for the younger set, Love’s Baby Soft.

  374. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    I feel a new thread coming soon.

  375. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    I can’t seem to forget you, your Windsong stays on my mind.

  376. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    All my men wear English Leather.

    Or they wear nothing at all.

  377. Red Greenback
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    Did you know how Lauren Hutton got that charming gap all up in grill? (hint) it had nothing to do with punk rock impresario Malcolm McLaren.

  378. Stellabella
    January 10th, 2008 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    Piping in to say that I am terribly disappointed in this resolution to the Chester/Ralphie story. Hoping the brownies in Judge Parker will lead to far more entertaining results.

    Really delurking to say:

    #268 Allie Cat:

    “This is weird, right? We’re not being overly sensitive in thinking that it’s kind of a strange thing to have on a cake?”

    This is totally freaking weird. As a pregnant lady myself, I would find cutting into an image of my unborn child and eating it to be seriously disturbing and I would wonder what was wrong with my hostess. Also, how the hell does one phrase the thank you note for such a thing?

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not squeamish about humorously inappropriate baby stuff. I have a set of tiny baby t-shirts that read Dingo Snack all ready to go when the blessed day arrives, but I would draw the line at sitting in a room with a bunch of ladies quietly munching on a literal representation of my young.

  379. Spotted HØrse
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    #373 Allie Cat: Between Jean Nate and you, there’s nothing you can’t do! Jean Nate! Jean Nate!

    #371 ltrftp Hedly: Shelly Hack musta followed in Lauren the Hutt’s footsteps. Remember how the magazine ads always looked like the “Let your fingers do the walking” logo?

  380. Poteet
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers — One cheery thing about this strip is that even on days when I fall off the dietary wagon, I know I’m still eating healthier stuff than Chickenwoman and friends. Thanks, Mr. Brookins!

  381. Poteet
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    MW — In terms of sheer drama, the Chester story reminds me of a game my parents used to suggest to me and my three sibs when we were taking long car trips decades ago. The game was called “Blind Deaf Dumb Paralyzed Bumblebee.”

  382. Ukulele Ike
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    Gazing into my Comics Crystal Ball, I make the following prognostications:

    1) The Brownie Story in “Judge Parker” is over. We will never hear about the brownies, or the weird old hippie neighbors with the chicken farm and the WWI biplane, ever again.

    2) The Chester Story in “Mary Worth” is NOT over. Something is gonna happen. Maybe the dog will run away from the red-haired guy and back to Mary.

    3) in RMMD, Lee is going to lose his glasses in the mud. NOBODY in these kind of strips is depicted as wearing eyeglasses unless he is going to eventually lose them.

  383. Frank Parsnip
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    Niall (279) and Commodore John (294): I think you got it figured out! The staircase and little stage don’t really work any other way, although I have to say that most of the time these sorts of cutouts don’t have a stage underneath and don’t usually require labels for people to figure out who is who.

    My guess is that Weirdly was using the stinky stuff in an effort to ruin people’s family photos taken at this booth — they’d make weird faces from smelling the shitbox he planted next to the stage. His error? putting the box behind the stage — far better to surprise families so that they only smell it when they stick their faces through the holes. My personal recommendation would have been to smear something with a good lingering stench like roquefort cheese around the inside of the face holes so that people would get a big dose up close.

    Still, I do love it when there is a crossover comic like this — I want Mell Lazarus’ reaction!

  384. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    Immanuel Kant, but Genghis Khan.

    George Straight, but Marvin Gaye.

    Also, Clint Black is white and Barry White was black.

  385. Vince M
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    364: And that ‘Charlie’ jingle was sung by Bobby Short – which I found both cool and uncool.
    Or – kinda ‘wow’, kinda ‘ow’.

  386. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    #372 …Hedly,
    That’s because;
    Immanuel Kant was a real pissant, who was very rarely stable.

  387. ralph
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    hi, just darting in to say hey, True Fable, today I had a herd of about 30 goats wandering on my land, and I raced inside, grabbed the camera, raced outside, with happy intentions of capturing a photo of them for you. Big goats, little goats, all kinds of goats, wow, there they all were. But a car went by on the nearby road and they all ran off … I am now on goat alert in case they return.

  388. Uncle Lumpy
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table!

  389. Frank Parsnip
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    I’m not black like Barry White but I am white like Frank Black is.

  390. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    Spotted HØrse
    They did that big walk for the guys. Look at any of those pix upside down.

    Artist formerly known as Ben

    Not stable?

    I bet he would bridle at that comment. He was well groomed.
    I can stop.

  391. Loopina
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    What’s behind Olivia Newton’s John?

    Gomer’s Pyle.

  392. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]


    Classic Morphine


  393. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:43 pm [Reply]


    I don’t know why that tickled my funny bone, but it did.

  394. Deena in OR
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    Tornado update-(I’ll let others from the PDX area chime in as well)

    There was a rare (and weird) F 0-1 tornado today about 10 miles north of Portland. Some property damage, no loss of life or reported injuries. A high school age rowing club lost their boathouses, their office things and memorabilia, and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of donated exercise equipment and boats. We’ve got about 500 customers without power, and a *lot* of media coverage and home video on TV.

    Maybe it’s just because I’m a Midwest transplant, but isn’t it common sense to seek shelter when you see a funnel cloud?

    On the other hand-my Minnesota ex-relatives used to hear the tornado sirens and go out to the porch to look…so what do I know?
    Deena, posting on her break from work. See ya’ll after 10:30 PST.

  395. ltrftp Hedly
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    Glad to hear you are okay.

    Tomorrow you can use the joke that a house fell on (fill in the blank)’ sister.

  396. commodorejohn
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    #394 Deena in OR – Aside from the very southern part of the state, tornadoes are quite rare in Minnesota, and woefully underpowered when they do occur. So yeah, unless it’s right on top of your house, it’s a stand-in-the-yard-and-take-a-look thing.

  397. Deena in OR
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]


    Urban legend (or subcultural legend, if you will) has it that Alice was more into Mrs. Brady than she was Sam the Butcher :) Or so the rumor goes.

  398. willethompson
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    #388 UL: René Descartes was a drunken fart, “I drink, therefore, I am!”

    Ya gotta love classic philosophy.

  399. Deena in OR
    January 10th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]


    Yeah, I know. On the other hand, one of my brothers’ in law was sitting in a movie theatre near HarMar mall when it was hit. (This was in the early 80′s.) And HarMar’s pretty much central Twin Cities.

  400. Poteet
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    # 394 — Deena, we get a lot of tornadoes in Iowa, and it’s definitely recommended that one follow the official take-shelter advice (which is fairly detailed and involves basements, sturdy walls, etc.) But now that tornado footage shows up on the news, some people are quite willing to take their lives in their hands and keep their cameras rolling as the funnel cloud barrels toward them. I borrowed a tornado-porn video:-) from the library a few years ago and some of the footage, while exciting, was taken by people who (IMHO) were a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

    Back in 1977, two months before I moved to Iowa, a really huge tornado demolished a very small town near where I live. One of my coworkers told me that her kids, while heading for the basement, saw a TV news car speeding right toward the tornado, and they thought the occupant was out of his mind. His footage later won a Peabody award and provided new information for tornado researchers, but he reported that his colleagues still told him it should have been called the Peabody Award for Stupidity.

  401. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    #400 – Poteet:

    “Peabody Award for Stupidity”?

    After THIS brillilant namesake ??


  402. alamo
    January 10th, 2008 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    398 — speaking of classic philosophy it was that old spinach smoking sailor hisself, popeye, who said ” I yam, therefore i yam.”

  403. True Fable
    January 10th, 2008 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    # 387 ralph – You, sir, are a man of distinction and taste! Goats everywhere should be recorded for the joy of admiring their charming spirit!

    And, they are a hoot when they jump straight up in the air for no apparent reason!

  404. Poteet
    January 10th, 2008 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    # 401 — Spunky, you definitely have a point. I apologize to the brilliant Mr. Peabody for the sad fact that the TV news industry appropriated his name:-).

  405. Deena in OR
    January 11th, 2008 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    Poteet-My aunt was born in Pottawattmee County.

    My grandparents had moved from Nebraska to Oregon in 1938, then back to Iowa/Nebraska at the start of the war. Granddaddy was 4F, and ended up as a shift supervisor at a huge defense plant. His claim to infamy? His team helped put together the Enola Gay. He had no idea what he was working on at the time, except that it was super secret. I’m not sure what he thought about what it’s ultimate mission turned out to be.

  406. Deena in OR
    January 11th, 2008 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    405- Ugh. Minus two points for the use of the wrong form of it’s. The word should be “its”.

  407. Niall
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Deena: wow. What a claim.

  408. Deena in OR
    January 11th, 2008 at 1:36 pm [Reply]


    Yeah. Can you imagine living with the knowlege of what your work had done for the rest of your life?

  409. Poteet
    January 11th, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    # 408 — Wow. Very interesting story, Deena.

    I used to live near the site of the Iowa portion of the Manhattan Project, which of course developed the bomb delivered by the Enola Gay. And a close relative took photos, for the Army, of nuclear tests in the Southwest. He saw blinded jackrabbits running through the desert and blundering into cactus plants. He was happy to leave that assignment.

  410. micky
    January 15th, 2009 at 6:25 am [Reply]

    Cool! thank you for your post.

  411. ronalzzy
    August 26th, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

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Rangers {chat with|talk to|talk with|speak to} {Steve|David|Dorrie|Charlie|Bob|Ken|Gary|Sam|Ruben|Sara|Mark} Zipay #file_links[D:\keywords15.txt,1,S] Newsday’s {ap|elp} #file_links[D:\keywords13.txt,1,S] {p|g|r|s|delaware|w|t|signifiant|v|l|k} {users|customers|consumers|people|end users|buyers|individuals|clients|owners|visitors|members} {can|may|can easily|could|can certainly|might|will be able to|will|are able to|may well|could certainly} participat #file_links[D:\keywords12.txt, #file_links[D:\keywords14.txt,1,S] 1,S] {e|at the|elizabeth|electronic|age|ourite|orite|o|i|ice|a} {in|within|inside|throughout|with|around|during|on|when it comes to|for|found in} th #file_links[D:\keywords11.txt,1,S] {e|at the|elizabeth|electronic|age|ourite|orite|o|i|ice|a} {live|reside|stay|are living|dwell|survive|are located|live life|exist|enjoy|take up residence} {chat|talk|speak|chitchat|conversation|discussion|converse|chew the fat|support|chat with|chit chat} {at|from|with|in|on|during|for|within|located at|by|found at} [ Activation ] Result: chosen nickname “ronaljzt”; profile edited; logged in; success (profile was registered successfully, but there is no permissions for creating new topic); Result: chosen nickname “tomssoc”; success (from first page); Result: chosen nickname “tomsfcg”; nofollow is found; success (from first page); message must go through moderation; Result: chosen nickname “ronalvfu”; success – posted to first encountered partition “”; Result: chosen nickname “tomsibs”; success (from first page);

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