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Mary Worth is brutal

Mary Worth, 8/21/12

Wilbur and Dawn recover from their TV-induced “people came together to help one another” hallucination and realize that life is, after all, brutal. And that they both kinda miss Dave. Back to square one: the perfect Mary Worth story arc.

OK, POOL PARTY!

Herb and Jamaal, 8/21/12

It’s so unfair, because Jamaal really was checking out her blouse — everybody is saying “bold, flowery prints” for fall, but Jamaal thinks the only way to avoid ’70′s Earth Mother connotations is to build the look on a classically constructed garment. And the stitching on this one is simply slovenly, it’s a size too large, and for God’s sake tuck it in. Seriously, girl, you go out in public dressed like that? And slap people when they notice? Bitch.

Shoe, 8/21/12

P. Martin Shoemaker (Shoe), an editor at the Treetops Tattler, documents a single exception to the pending collapse of his industry.

“Say, you’re not by any chance reading Shoe, are you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/21/12

THE EYES OF SNUFFY PEER INTO YOUR SOUL! FEAR HIM!

Judge Parker, 8/21/12

Sam begins to suspect that all Avery’s talk of passion, seduction, Old Hardy, wild life, and prevailing in the end may not be entirely about fishing. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, our Sam.

– Uncle Lumpy

302 responses to “Mary Worth is brutal”

  1. Justin
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    Sadly, Jamaal could have saved the situation with a single “Yo Holmes, to Bel-Air!”

  2. Ian Beste
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    Luann “Taylor Swift good girl”? The image to go with that was just frickin’ psychotic. Howzabout a “schlumpy loser girl” look?

  3. Losh
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    MW: “Soooo, it takes a sinking ship followed by a plate of stewed lemons for you to realize that you should never, EVER be more than a two mile radius away from my meddling.”

  4. Santa Royale With Cheese
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    JP: Avery finally frees himself of his vertical-hold challenged specs and… ZOMG it’s Danny Bonaduce!

    S-M: If a showdown happens at the circus between Spidey and C-9, and nobody is around to see the “kick me” sign stuck to Spidey’s back, did it really happen?

    MW: All that to explain the meaning of “QED”. Who says no-one ain’t learnin’ from the papers?

    BG&SS: Do any other foges (“fogeys”) remember the day when Garry Trudeau figured out how to draw a facepalm pose? (And truly, you coulda marked your calendar when he did that.) Mark your calendar for the other day when this guy figured out how to draw Snuffy Smif looking through binoculars.

  5. Mibbitmaker
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    H&J: “Blouse” is Family Newspaper for “Boobs, slinky shape, and camel toe”.

    MW: Big flip-flop from Wilbur. He should go into politics!

    Shoe: And thanks to that conversation, Skyler will never read a newspaper again for the rest of his life.

    (BG&)SS: BARLOW (who reads the paper with this strip in it, apparently)! SNUFFY SMITH IS WATCHING YOU!

    JP: Later, when the short one gets home, he was heard to say, “Rhea… I have some news you’re not going to like…” Inaudible discussing follows, then more: “Jeez, this never happened with Judd Hirsch! Damn you, handsome Sam Driver!!!”

  6. tallyHO
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#4):

    He done figured it a short time ago

    Now we find out that he has an elaborate system worked out. It is jus’ coincidental-like that it involves appearing with googly eyes.

  7. tallyHO
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    Words of Wisdomizin’ by Mistopher Trendy

    A bird in each han’ is worth its weight in supper, if’n theys purloined chickens!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    If’n ya love your pet birds and your pet birds love you then train ‘em to fetch their own dang dinner!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    You know whut they say: The early bird gets his own dang breakfast, lunch and supper and when he’s afull, early bird is whuts for dinner!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    One day, muh nephew, Tater asked:

    Whut does it all mean? Why do we exist? Do we truly exist?

    To wit, I hadta ask him:

    Whut kind of fool questions are those?
    I’ma trying ta gets my beauty sleep because wifout it I may as well be ugly and dead! Now stop botherin’ me as I lets the medicinal elixirs I done mixed up from the still work wunnerfully so I don’t need ta work at this beautfin’ too hard! zzzzzz

  8. Rob
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn wants us to know that almost dying is brutal. I agree, and would like to add that being maimed kind of sucks, and enduring torture is a bitch.

  9. Mr. O'Malley
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    BGSS: Ever since Snuffy got binoculars, it looks as though he’s moved into a city-type house with sash windows. I thought hillbillies lived in log cabins with only quaint shutters on the winders. It would be funnier if he spied on his neighbor with a telescope. One of those cartoon telescopes with a droop in it.

    With all this modernizing, Snuffy’s going to have a night vision scope on his old muzzle-loader.

  10. Mibbitmaker
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:19 am [Reply]

    A3G: “I don’t know. You’re too bland to tell.”

    CdS, Too Good To Last: Petey’ll see Aqua Teen Hunger Force in his nightmares!

    9CL: …. 40 years later……

    MT: Bird to readers: “Damn, what a stilted conversation, huh, folks?”

    Luann:
    Don’t complain, straw lady. Compared to Crankshaft most days, TJ is practically Larry Gelbart!
    (love the wordplay today)

  11. bbofun
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    JP- PUT THE GLASSES BACK ON! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, PUT THE GLASSES BACK ON!

    (Actually, his eyes aren’t that bad. But it needed to be said.)

    Is that a bunk bed?

  12. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:22 am [Reply]

    Pigporn: McE will get no defense from me here. “Sumuppance”. Pfui. That’s Crankshaft level humor.

  13. Dale
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:29 am [Reply]

    MW -

    Several days ago, the three of them were crammed onto a small couch like the back seat of a car.
    Now, while eating dinner, Dawn and Wilbur have slid around to sit on the same side of the table, with Gil Thorp HANDS.

  14. Spiff Bereft
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:43 am [Reply]

    JP: Avery: “If you know where to look I think you’ll find I have some…intriguing tackle…”

  15. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:39 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-If they shall deny me an audience then I shall deny them a fight. I’ll call Spiderman and tell him I’m canceling.

    Spiderman2-Hardy Laurel sure loves that costume. He even wears it at home.

    FC-Of course we had an older generation. Of course they didn’t know as much as my generation.

    FW-She’s a mother alright.

    MT-While Doc is by himself he is going to break out the hookers and the blow.

    MW-You should have taken a good American cruise ship instead of a dirty Italian cruise ship. On an American cruise ship there would be order when a ship sinks.

    MW 2-”I think I overheard someone say kill all the Jews first. This ship sinking is their fault.”

  16. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:41 am [Reply]

    Shoe-It’s funny because the newspaper industry is dying and kids nowadays would rather be Facebooking each other and Twittering each other rather than reading.

  17. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:46 am [Reply]

    MW-Insert tasteless joke about the Holocaust here to counterbalance the tripe Wilbur is talking about.

  18. Anonymous
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:57 am [Reply]

    CURTIS: That’s Michelle at the door, wanna bet? Can’t resist a possible publicity photo.

  19. sporknpork
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:33 am [Reply]

    Based on previous artwork in Mary Worth, when did Mary learn to cook fine Italian cuisine?

  20. gleeb
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    Dick: That’s how much story they had, so they end it on a Tuesday. See, it can be done. Congrats.

    ‘bean: Lefty realizes that Dinkle is basically Crankshaft with musical knowledge.

    Luann: Ah, this is what this has all been about: slipping “play with your hot dog” onto the comix page.

  21. Nate
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    It would be difficult, if not impossible, to make the gay subtext in Judge Parker any less subtle. The longing looks, the erotically charged language, the likening of Sam’s offered backside to a magnificent quest… ‘Sam, I left my stout wooden pole in the closet. Why don’t you go check it out and, when you’re ready, come out to me?’

  22. Dood
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:55 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “Oh, just enjoy your deep-fried mouse, dear.”

  23. Dood
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:58 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: “Hmm, catching fish,” thinks Sam. “Is that what Abbey’s always going on about?”

  24. Dood
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:02 am [Reply]

    Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: At first, I thought Snuffy was announcing that Barlow’s bird had taken a dump, which is like Hootin’ Holler’s version of reading Marvin or something.

  25. Cloudbuster
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    ASM: I bet the circus is really happy with spiderman right about now. If I were them, I’d definitely be rooting for Clown-9.

    A3G: Is that normal? Aren’t “personal interviews” typically done with, you know, the actual person?

    JP: “The biggest part of the journey is between my legs. Play it, Sam.”

  26. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    Poor Mary looks like she just shallowed her dentures in panel one. And are Dawn and Wilbur preparing to recite the Pledge of Allegiance? (“I pledge allegiance to our Mary and the meddling for which she stands…”)

  27. Snarkotix Addict
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    FW – Oh, great. A whole week of “yo mama so bad.”

    MT – And a great place to look for old Indians.

    CS – Heat stroke. It could happen. Just keep him outside a few more minutes.

    MW – Panel 1 – Mary’s eyes are crossing from sheer boredom.

  28. Kwazzymodo
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    Dawn is trying to make “brutal” happen. “Your boyfriend dumped you! Oh my God, that’s so brutal.”

  29. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    JP – Clearly, Avery’s strange glasses are of the corrective variety, because his eyes appear to going in opposite directions a la Marty Feldman.

    Curtis- People have opined that Curtis has a retro urban POV. Guess Obama showing up blows that idea out of the water, unless Curtis is actually like Fat Albert, suspended in time.

    MW – Finally reaching his boiling point, the normally good-natured Wilbur backhands Dawn right across the face. “I never want to hear that word again, you hear me?”

    Shoe – “Naw, just looking for a good section to take a dump on. Today’s comics look like a good bet.”

  30. Jeffery Lindholm
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    BG&SS: At first I thought the strip had brought back the former lead character in this strip (from decades and decades ago), Mr. Barney Google, who of course, had those “goo, goo, googly eyes.” And sadly, that danged song’s going to be stuck in my head all day long.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOHg5uuZjwY

  31. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    9CL – Turned into hard core pornography so quickly, noone had time to notice.

    Seriously, this looks like one of those sport fucking scenes that Vivid Video puts out where the action isn’t erotic or sensual, it just looks difficult, painful, and tiring. Just like reading this strip, ho ho! How many more weeks of dance porn and Gilligan’s Island callbacks are pending, here? Or is Brooke just caught up in the excitement of it all and forgetting that there was a plot at some point?

    CS – Usually, at least one component of the double-entendre is present. In this case, neither the original meaning nor the pun are clear, or funny. Should have thrown this one in the trash heap.

    JP – Is this like Greg Evans with Luann, where he wants to make it explicitly sexual but feels constrained by his target audience? Or are we really supposed to believe that the millionaire dwarf is that obsessed with fly fishing? Wait a sec – Millionaire dwarf? Uncomfortable and disturbing sexual innuendo? It is just like Luann!

    MT- “I am going to the Indian burial mounds, ho ho!”
    “Going to the Indian burial mounds? Those are a good place go to look for arrowheads, ho ho!”
    “Yes, I plan to look for arrowheads while I am at the Indian Burial Mounds, for that is what I indend to do, ho ho!”

  32. Snarkotix Addict
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    FW – Ugh… please tell me we aren’t headed for a punch line with Becky’s mother becoming a “banned mom.”

  33. Baleen Blue
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    AS-M: “In related news, the proprietors of The All-Star Circus have announced their intention to sue Spider-Man for necessitating the closure of their circus. A spokesperson from All-Star said, ‘With great power comes great responsibility, and we have a responsibility to protect out patrons from the violent ego-whims of costumed freaks, whether they call themselves “heroes” or “villains.”‘ Due to an ongoing Judge Judy marathon on channel 8, Spider-Man is unavailable for comment.”

    Beetle: What does Gen. Halftrack need a drone for in the middle of Missouri?

    Henry: Aw, Henry’s wee wittle flowers wilted in the face of his sweetie’s family’s material success. Paging Dr. Freud…

    MT: Finally, the sheep-killer* story is over and desecration of sacred sites story can begin.

  34. Oregonian
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    College students somewhere are doing tequila shots every time Dawn says the word “brutal.” It’s only a dangerous game if you crawl into the recycling bin and try to read the whole summer storyline all at once.

  35. jasper jinx
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    What’s with the eyes today?
    1)Snuffy Smith, with the goo-goo-googly eyes.
    2)Jamaal with his six quarts of No-Doze.
    3)Skyler, pop-eyed at being propositioned by Shoe.
    4)Avery, demonstrating why the court ordered him to wear those shades in public.
    5)Mary Worth, who seems to be having a stroke in the first panel.

  36. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    MT – Calling all snarks, calling all snarks, Dept of Rendundancy Depy alert!!

    ASM – Uh…., Spidey, isn’t the point of getting revenge on someone who humiliated you in public, to do it, you know….in front of a crowd? Like the circus? Clown 9 understands that. Why are so you lame.

  37. Downpuppy
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    A3G – Cooper is really saying “Check out my ass”. Entire conversation, facing away from Margo.

    Karen Moy is just brutally messing with us now.

  38. KreatureFeatures
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: What you can’t see in panel 2 is Doc taping a high-visibility yellow sign to Rusty’s backpack that says “Snitch.”

  39. Flonatin of Bologna
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Blondie: The Bumsteads are so deep in debt that they can only afford one pair of socks for Dagwood.

  40. Chareth Cutestory
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Ahhh… to crush those fly fishies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

  41. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    JP – Speaking of seduction, Sam, are you so dense that you don’t realize I’ve been seducing you all day? Christ, what’s a guy gotta do to get laid around here….and how much will it cost?

  42. Baleen Blue
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#41): True Fact: Sam will have sex with anyone so long as they’re wearing a Sam mask.

  43. Dennis Jimenez
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    MW – The I-tal-yan law of the see – Fuck’a You – Every Uomo For Themselves….

    H&J – I wonder if they have that floral print in men’s small???

    Shoe – Well, that’s one stylish pair of sneekers in the first panel – I think the kids are calling that the Valley Forge look….

    BG&SS – Ut-oh – Billy from FC is sure to follow – how’s he ever gonna fit in that cage – an’ will Jughaid ever remember to feed him….

    JP – Gayest Strip Ever (in Comic Book Guy voice) – Not that there’s anything wrong with that….

    Adios Amigos – DJ.

  44. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    …Or Avery’s ramblings may be exactly about fishing, much to Sam’s (and our) amusement.

  45. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    JP-Say, Sam, has anyone ever told you that you have a pretty smile?

    MW-It’s nice to know that this ship sinking did not deter you from having a wonderful vacation.

  46. nescio
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Shoe’s failing newspaper is a front for a chick pornography ring.

  47. Hibbleton
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    A3G: “I’d turn around and face you but I just went to the john and my fly is jammed open.”

    MW: Nice of Mary to feed Dawn from her plate since she has no silverware with which to eat those yummy piles of raw semolina.

    JP: Sam looks as bored with Avery’s yammerings as I am. ..And isn’t it about time for us to see Bea’s tit’s bursting out of her hillbilly nightgown by way of some cockamamie plot twist?

  48. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#44): I suppose. Maybe the dance in 9CL is just the dance. Well, actually the odds may be in your favor in regards to JP. I think Brooke has a dirtier mind.

  49. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#46): And by “chick” you mean fresh from the egg, right?

  50. Hibbleton
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#49): @nescio (#46): And by “chick” you mean fresh from the egg, right?

    And you mean as in “just been laid?”

  51. Izzy
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Jamaal should have known that checking out a ninja’s blouse is a surefire way to get pegged with throwing stars.

  52. wossname
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Curtis – Panel 2 reveals a major lack of understanding of how media coverage of the POTUS works. The prez does not travel with a single photographer, wearing a beret, who’s in charge of running quotes past the secretary of state and then laying out the newspaper front page. OTOH, if this is part of the setup for this being an Obama impersonator, then yay! And I really am filled with glee trying to figure out who’s knocking at the door.

    SF – Ces is so wonderful at portraying horrible characters!

  53. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    JP: I assume that panel 3 is the moment when Sam realizes that Avery is naked from the waist down—and that he’s magnificently ready for this part of the journey.

    MT: Boy, Doc sure is eager to make Rusty a target, isn’t he? “Sure, Rusty, wander away from the house into an isolated area! Don’t mind me; I just have to put up these signs: ‘Looking for the kid who took your picture? This way!’; ‘It’s not much farther! You’ll find that freaky-looking kid just around this corner!’”

    A3G: “I actually don’t know much about what you look like, since you’ve yet to face me directly. The back of your head is pretty darned breathtaking, though!”

    Bl: Okay, the second panel made me chuckle. I am perturbed that Dagwood has only one pair of socks—although I suppose they go with his one suit of clothes.

  54. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    @Special Commenter Badger Badge (#y225): Gosh, thanks! Now, instead of 20 minutes of Nancy Sinatra in my brain last night, I’ll have a full day of “badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerMUSHROOM” going through my head!

  55. They Call Me MISTER Fogarty
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    I remember working at my local McDonalds as a line cook. Ahhhhh the hours I spent on the job coming up with new products like Fish McBites and Fried McRocky Mountain Oysters.

    My manager never once screamed at me to get back to flipping burgers and stop fucking around.

    Maybe twice.

    Then she fired me.

    Ingrate. Maybe I should sue to get A. Eiffel fired to for stepping on my artistic freedom.

    two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame bun

  56. nescio
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#49): Shoe protests that he prefers adolescent plumage and only real perverts like downy hatchlings.

  57. They Call Me MISTER Fogarty
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    @They Call Me MISTER Fogarty (#55):

    I forgot seed

    I hang my head in shame of trying to plant an incomplete ear worm.

  58. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Don’t know if anyone else has put this up yet, but this is a lovely tribute to Richard Thompson and Cul de Sac from Stacey Curtis, the artist who inked Thompson’s work the past few months. It’s sad news. At least with Calvin and Hobbes we knew that Bill Watterson was walking away by his own choice.

    Actual comics snark will have to wait until later in the day. I’m leaving work early, and despite theoretically having high speed internet here, it tends to take three hours at least to read the online funnies.

  59. tater Tot
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Barney Google, with the goog goog googly eyes

    Go to Google and Google Barney Google if you want to hear the song.

  60. Chip
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    “And catching fish is just a small part of that journey.”

    That’s right Avery, lets not forget about employing an assistant to tie the flies!

  61. Mr. Ray
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Herb and Jamaal: For a second, I thought Jamaal was doing a commercial for mouthwash.

  62. Little Blue Bicycle
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    “It was brutal.” The Mary Worth crew is just trolling Josh now.

  63. Esther Blodgett
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    H&J: We don’t mind you “checking out a woman’s blouse,” guys. It’s when you stare at our tits that we get annoyed.

    Curtis: Oh Lord, he’s drawing President Obama like a reject from one of his Kwanzaa strips. Where’s the magic mouse?

    FW: It’s funny because…no, wait, it’s not funny. I feel better now.

  64. Mibbitmaker
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    GLIBPORN ~ Which One Doesn’t Belong?

    1. a) Oscar Wilde, b) Dorothy Parker, c) Moe Howard.

    2. a) Brooke McEldowney*, b) George W. Bush**, c) Sarah Palin***

    * “sumuppance”
    ** “misunderestimate”
    *** “refudiate”

    Answers:
    1. c) Moe Howard (though I am a fan)
    2. a) McEldowney.
    Strangely enough, it’s actually kinda cute when Dubya or Palin make up words from other words. Brooke, not so much.

  65. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#58): Oh, that is lovely! (Every day now, when I read CdS, I think, “Thank you, Richard, for this gift today!”)

  66. Pozzo
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Now, don’t jump to conclusions, Uncle Lumpy — maybe Avery is just checking out Sam’s blouse.

  67. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    9CL: a step up from hand sex.

    GF: threat bananas. no comment.

    LaCuc: ok, it’s a *klang!*, but I still chuckled.

    Lio: win.

    SBp: *gigglez* nicely done.

    Zits: barebacking subtext, day two.

    Bizarro: /facepalm

    Ghost-who-is -summoned-by-hottie-Jungle-Queens. mmmm, braids.

    6Cx: just pissed off the Catholics.

  68. Mibbitmaker
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    New PCK is up!

    Today: The 1995 “entertorial” cartoon about nothing (which is, ironically, about something)….

  69. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .recursive.

  70. Cotton Candy Beard
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    For a moment, it seemed as if Barney Google had been invaded by Bill & Ted.

    Bodacious?

  71. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Amazing Spider-Man: That sure is a sprightly flower arrangement in front of Clown-9′s television. I think he likes to play with flowers in his off-hours, when he’s not failing at being a clown, or menacing the city, or demonstrating what everyone always knew: that Spider-Man is the lamest superhero since, well, ever. It’s a busy and stressful life being Clown-9. Sometimes he regrets not following his first love, floristry, but once he got that scholarship to clown college, his fate was sealed. He couldn’t bear to break his parents’ hearts, which is why he’s locked into a quasi-apocalyptic battle with the lamest superhero ever in a empty circus tent. Saddest supervillain ever meets lamest superhero ever. He should have gone into floristry.

    Arlo and Janis: I think Gene’s prospective father-in-law is Avery, which makes his girlfriend…Peaches?

    Bouletcorp: No snark here: go read today’s installment to see a very talented cartoonist at the top of his game. No, really. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

    9 Chickweed Lane: WHEN WILL THE DANCING END? DEAR GOD WHY WON’T THE DANCING END?

    Cul de Sac: Now Petey will never learn to love the ocean, Alice.

    Henry: Is Muriel Smith Clown-9′s little sister? Possibly, though she doesn’t seem to have a siren up her nose. Not that we know of, anyway.

    Herman: The loser at table with his new bride (or possibly one heck of a messed-up angel) seems to be thinking that he’s in for a long marriage, but then he’s no catch either, what with the coke-bottle glasses, balding pate, spreading paunch, and presumable halitosis. He was in his 30′s before he was able to break from Mum, and 40 before he got his first case of the clap. Given the choice between cast-iron coffee and trolling Craigslist again, yeah, he’s willing for a lifetime of settling for diminished expectations before a long, slow slide into Alzheimer’s and death. Maybe if he gets lucky, she’ll beat him to death with that pan and save everyone a lot of bother.

    Luann: My first thought was, Where is he putting that hair? My second thought was, Do hot-dog stand managers really wear miniskirts? My third thought was, I am wasting my life, reading this crap.

    Mark Trail: This all such nice wholesome family entertainment. Until that duck eviscerates Rusty, anyway.

    Mary Worth: It was humanity at its worst! Got a sandwich?

    The Phantom: Strong beautiful black woman who doesn’t need to be saved by a weird white dude alert!

    Six Chix: <bitterness>Given the behavior I’ve seen from church folks lately, I’d rather go to doggie heaven, too.</bitterness>

  72. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#58): Mike Peterson also had a lovely tribute to Thompson on Saturday.

  73. TheDiva
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    H&J: I’m a little more concerned with why Jamaal is checking out the rack on an 85-year-old woman, as I don’t think anybody younger than that would use “fresh” in that sense.

    MW: Wow, Mary’s going to have to break out the big inspirational quotations books to meddle them through this trauma!

  74. seismic-2
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    MW: I love that faraway look on Mary’s face in the first panel. It is clear that her mind is somewhere else entirely, as she contemplates with fierce determination all that has transpired, and all that is about to. If you think the passengers’ scramble for the lifeboats was brutal, just wait until you see Mary and Wilbur go at it in the topless mud-wrestling match for final control of Ask Wendy.

  75. Holly Folly
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth looks like she has had a massive stroke. Did I miss that plot line? Where Mary is struck down by a stroke and has to relearn to do everything she took for granted one painful step at a time. Or is the artist on these panels just terrible?

  76. Gojira
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    9CL: Before anyone gets the wrong idea: Remember, gay Seth (whose gaydar can detect deeply-closeted gays with 10 kids at first look) is not kissing Edda romantically, he’s kissing her ART romantically. Carry on…

  77. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Woah, Wilber.

    obvious graph is obvious. (Team Buttercup!)

    a little something for Poteet. (Venezuelan poodle moth, coming soon to a Sunday MT near you!)

    I’ma just going to leave this to fester mentally.

    more than an ounce of squee. (snow leopard week!) *happy dance*

    Love Is . . . .snugglin’ with your dog.

  78. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @Gojira (#76):

    Stay tuned for tomorrow’s strip, in which Seth kisses Edda’s Art’s Vagina romantically, while Amos plays a solo (cello optional).

  79. Alter Ego
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    love is… when you radiate heart-shaped stink lines.

  80. TheDiva
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    9CL: They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? didn’t have this much dancing!

    A3G: “Sure, I had to back out of a callback for the next Christopher Nolan movie to meet with you, but I think it’ll be worth it!”

    C’shaft: Not a joke. Start over.

    FW: Misery is so prevalent in Funkytown that nobody bats an eye to Harry having an elaborate series of seizures during the course of a normal conversation–least of all Harry himself.

    Luann: I wish I could believe there was no innuendo intended in the phrase “play with your hot dog,” and that Greg Evans wasn’t snickering like a ten year old boy the whole time he wrote it down. I really do.

    MT: “Buh-bye, Rusty! Have fun despoiling our nation’s cultural and archeological heritage!”

    Pibgorn: If the phrase “humblebrag” didn’t already exist, we would have to invent it solely for Brooke’s sake.

    Pluggers: Lies. Real Pluggers would have dropped Tolstoy for Car and Driver years ago.

    SM: I’m sure the circus’ promoters loved that. “Sure, we’re disappointing our customers and losing a lot of money–but Spider-Man’s priorities must come first!”

  81. The Grandstander
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#37): My thoughts exactly. Moy just HAS to be doing this (and everything else, come to think of it) just to f**k with Comics Curmudgeon readers.

  82. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#80):

    the phrase “play with your hot dog”

    How hard do you think he had to struggle to avoid going with “play with your weiner”? You know that is what he wanted, but he probably feared his editors would catch him.

  83. NoahSnark
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    It’s a shame, because that blouse would have really complimented the rest of Jamaal’s new drag queen outfit.

  84. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#71):

    see a very talented cartoonist at the top of his game.

    Wow. No kidding.

  85. Anonymous
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    MT: What happened to those tall mountains the sheep hunters hunted sheep on? They melted?

  86. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Archie – I guess Veronica doesn’t plan to buy any suitcases in Paris. But why would she, with such a stunning array of different colored cardboard boxes with handles? She’s ready to go steppin’ out into the 1950s!

  87. Marc
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail- Won’t Rusty be surprised when he gets to the old Indian mounds and discovers that a casino has been built on top of them.

    9CL- For a gay guy, Seth sure seems to be enjoying making out with Edda’s art.

    Mary Worth- I see Dawn is so shaken by the brutality of the events of the cruise that she has yet to change out of the clothes she was wearing on that fateful day. It’s a chilling reminder that she must never forget that life is brutal.

    A3G- So Greg prefers a slow, sensual bang as opposed to the fast and furious fuck Margo enjoys. Can’t wait to see how this works out!

    Luann- You know Anne, you could scald him with the grease from the deep fat fryer and not one person would blame you.

    Funky- The looks on their faces in the last panel perfectly sums up how unbearingly terrible life in Westview is.

    Snuffy- Bodacious? BGSS turned into a strip about So. Cal surfers so gradually I barely even noticed.

  88. Anonymous
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    MT: And I am not an anthropologist, but to the best of my knowledge: you don’t find Indian mounds in the middle of forests; you don’t find Indian mounds in the mountains. But this is Mark Trail, in which the topography changes weekly.

  89. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#85): Those are the Daylily Mountains. They pop up for about a day then go away. But don’t worry because they are perennial mountains. They’ll be back next year.

  90. seismic-2
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Over at the Comics Reporter site, Tom Spurgeon has reprinted two quite lengthy interviews that he did with Richard Thompson, the first in 2008 and the second in 2010, both of them of course profusely illustrated with wonderful artwork to show what they were talking about. I do hope Spurgeon gets to do one more interview with Thompson, before CdS shuts down on September 23. As Spurgeon wrote when he first reported the news that the strip will be ending, “I am very appreciative that I got to read this strip, and I’m even more appreciative I got to interact with Richard Thompson a little bit. My life is richer for both experiences.”

  91. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Snuffy – They’re twittering! Get it?? And from the size of that cage, they should be angry birds.

  92. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Curtis – Please don’t let that be Romney at the door. Or anybody famous. Just have it be the police saying that before the old lady keeled over for good she said that Curtis touched her in a bad place and stole her gold piercing.

  93. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    love is… – …the modern day equivalent of the Victorian practice of propping a dead person up for what was often the only photo ever taken of them.

  94. wossname
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#71): Thanks for the link to Bouletcorp. That is amazing.

  95. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    Luann – You’ll never stop TJ from playing with his hot dog. If he ever did, he’d stop smiling, and you wouldn’t want that.

    Mary“It was brutal!”
    “Just like life. Did you know Dave used to say that? By the way, I’m over him now. Gimme another sandwich.”

  96. Cloudbuster
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#88): Ohio is home to many indian mounds, most of them in forested areas. They were certainly cleared at the time, but in most parts of Ohio anything that isn’t deliberately kept clear reverts to forest eventually. Most of the well-known mounds have, of course, been re-cleared for study and tourism.

  97. un malpaso
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    MW: So, I’m guessing the take-away lesson here will be, “The world is indeed a horrible, awful place, OUTSIDE THE CHARTERSTONE/SANTA WHATEVER CITY LIMITS. So NEVER LEAVE. And also, Dawn, when will you realize that your only true love is Dave, you should follow him and stalk him and trap him no matter what, because you will become OLD and LONELY if you don’t end up with the one man who is destined for you.”

    Ugh… I think I need a double vodka tonic to go with my lemon mush.

  98. pugfuggly
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    MW Soon Dawn begins to use the word ‘brutal’ to describe everything, whether it be good, bad, or neutrel. “At first the outlooked seemed brutal, but then the coast guard showed up and they were just brutal! And I got to meet this totally brutal italian pilot. If I had to describe the sex in a word, it was….”

    H&J The irony in this is that I didn’t even notice Jamaal’s eyes darting downwards because I was fixated on his giant penis-shaped head.

    BG&SS Is ‘too cheap to buy birdseed’ an expression? It should be.

    JP There’s no better way to end the day than by waxing poetic about flyfishing with a glass of fine wine while being fellated by a backwoods hooker. Avery sure knows how to live….

  99. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Nancy – For a minute there, I thought we were doing a big necro-shout to, like, a half dozen dead artists Fritzi hadn’t gotten around to before. She must be at least 56 years old in this one.

    Remember the tire ads that used to show the treads as powerful fingers clutching the road? I think that’s where her hair style comes from.

  100. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Phantom – Of course Phantom hears you! But cut him some slack. It’s a long pony ride from Mexico City.

  101. Harold
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    I have no idea what we’re looking at in the first panel of Judge Parker. Are those Avery’s legs? His arms? A foot? A badly drawn hand? I prefer to think that Avery has been crumpled into a ball and tossed in the corner to await tomorrow’s plot developments.

  102. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Sally – If it’s the poem I’m thinking of, they’ll need to stop her right after she says “…from Nantucket.”

  103. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#31): What’s CS? (I know what it stood for in AMERICAN GRAFFITI.)

  104. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#103): I think he meant CrankShaft.

  105. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#71): re Bouletcorp.

    Wow. That was epic.

  106. cartooncritic2544
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Nate (#21): It would be difficult, if not impossible, to make the gay subtext in Judge Parker any less subtle.
    I take it, then, you are unfamiliar with Rex Morgan, MD?

  107. UncleJeff
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @The Grandstander (#81): We’re probably her biggest fans.

  108. UncleJeff
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    A&J: a perfect summation of the value of a college education.

  109. Ned Ryerson
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    MW (Maryworld starring Richard Benjamin): Please reboot Marybot 2000.

  110. bats :[
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#88): Lost Forest is a magical place…with intertubes access, too!

  111. Ned Ryerson
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    JP: You’re right Sam, I love fly fishing…it’s my passion. Now fish around in my fly and feast on some trouser trout. I think you will find that it compliments that Cabernet quite nicely.

  112. Horace Broon
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    A3G: “It just saves time if I tell your manager what I want to do, then he reports back to you and we schedule another meeting for him to tell me what you think! Do you know how long it’s going to take for me to tell you directly and get immediate feedback?”

    ASM: You know what I’ve found helps reading this strip? Pretending it’s like Axe Cop, and the Stan Lee who writes it is actually the grandson of the better-known Stan Lee.

    BB: It’s funny because Zero just launched a missile somewhere! They’ll take it as an unprokoved attack and declare war!

    FW: Look! It’s a character people still harbour some residual affection for, largely because he’s never in the strip these days, so Batuik hasn’t got round to making him unlikable!

    MW: Wait, so the whole time we were making jokes about the disconnect between what the TV was reporting and what had actually happened, that was actually the point? Well played, Moy. Well played.

    RMMD: “Oh yeah, but apart from that wasn’t it a great vacation? I mean, for me.”

  113. HAnzMFG
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    …DYAAAAH!!! Yeeesh, that tubby Avery dude’s got a wandering eye. There’s nightmare fuel enough for at least a couple nights.

  114. Dennis Jimenez
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#88): I don’t know nuttin’ ’bout no Indian Mounds, but in JP land, Sam has sure figured out how to get Avery to “pitch a tent” and do it right there on the couch!

  115. HAnzMFG
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    The look of incredible discomfort on Mary Worth’s face is priceless. It’s as though she’s finally become senile enough to mostly forget about Brutal Girl and Dude Who Looks Like He Should Be Voiced By Chris Parnell, both of whom left weeks ago on a cruise, and, not sure if she should remember them or not, halfheartedly decides to let them in for some discolored yellow blobs she was cooking for dinner.

  116. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#43) re; MW: I can see the headline now for Wilbur’s triumphant return to Ask Wendy: Uomo Solo A-Go-Go al Piroscafo

  117. HAnzMFG
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Good lord, McEldowney seems to have squeezed every last pointless and forgotten 30-syllable’d word from his thesaurus and just decided to say fuck it and make up words of his own. And it’s not even in the freaking comic!

  118. Little Guy
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    H&J is amusing when it’s coupled with the disheveled and underdressed T-Shirt models advertising on the left.

    Did I mention I miss Christian Singles Girl?

  119. btown
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    JP: Seriously? “fly fishing” for “old hardy”? Who’s writing this? Beavis and Butthead?

    MW: Mary’s looking especially shriveled and geriatric today. Reminds me a bit of the Gerber Baby model

  120. HAnzMFG
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Luann apparently has issues putting actual relationships and romantic tension on the daily newspaper, but is perfectly fine with having a dude being told to “stop playing with his hot dog,” while said dude is endlessly grinning, holding a freaky…pink…blob thing with sticks and hair…and making faux-Seussian rhyme schemes.

  121. Calico
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    JP – Wow. Just, wow.
    BTW, I read “Brokeback Mountain” the other day. Just saying.

    Snuf – don’t just fear Snuffy’s eyes – do those birds eat crystal meth on a daily basis? Eyeballs ready to pop out at any given moment.

  122. Calico
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    MW – Pasta alla brutallesca! With mayo cannolis and renewed despair for dessert.

  123. Baleen Blue
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @btown (#119):

    Mary’s looking especially shriveled and geriatric today…

    And is it any wonder? She hasn’t had a good meddle all summer! If she doesn’t tap into the vicarious vitality that comes from living through others but soon, she’ll be forced to abandon her current skin-sack altogether.

  124. Droopy Says
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Hardened and embittered by his experiences, Wilbur brings a new sensibility to Ask Wendy. “Your husband snores in bed? Take his pillow and smother him, just like a certain father I know did to his whiny adult daughter!” “Your kids argue over which DVD to watch? Flog them and make them smash the player!” A horrified Mary tries to take the column back, telling the edtor “I promised Wilbur that I would handle the column until he returned, but what returned from Italy isn’t the real Wilbur! He’s changed, horribly changed!”

    Soon Charterstone splits into two warring camps: they who adhere to the new, Marified column and they who serve its old master. At first Mary cannot why her meddling powers do not prevail, as her followers go over to the Forces of Wilbur. Then she visits the now-darkened Weston apartment and sees the eldritch glow in Wilbur’s eyes, while Dawn tosses a blonde girl into a fire-heated cauldron of mayonaisse. With a cruel laugh Wilbur offers Mary control of the column, at the price of her soul and a platter of salmon squares.

    The apocalypse arrives in the guise of a pool party. Mary parts the pool waters and steps into the dry middle of the pool. She challenges Wilbur to meet her there in combat. Wilbur mocks her, then curses the parted waters. At once they flow over Mary, sending her to eternity, and her former cultists now bend their knees to Wilbur. Dawn gets her hair styled, lures Dave back to Charterstone, and sacrifices him on Samhain. The changed Wilbur and Dawn may be Satanic, but they aren’t self-righteous meddlers.

  125. Señor Tortilla
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    JP – OK, this is getting really weird now. The eyes, the whole weird innuendo…

    Blondie – Right, I see someone has gotten on the “He only has one pair of socks?” question.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#92): Oh no. Oh no.

    FW – Dinkle appears to be doing neck exercises while he talks to one-armed Becky.

  126. Baleen Blue
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#124): …One pool to rule them all, one pool to bind them, one pool to bring them all, and in the darkness grind them…

  127. Dood
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Stop, Avery. You had Sam at “magnificent quest.”

  128. Calico
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    FW and Dankshaft – really bad jokes today. I don’t even understand Crank’s supposed “joke” about his bushes.

    @Calico (#121):
    Instead of “Tweet!” it should read “Tweak!”

  129. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#111): I thought you were supposed to have white wine with trouser trout?

    BG&SS – What strikes me as especially sickening here is that the Smiths’ birds have the same creepily wrinkled foreheads and bug-eyes as the Smiths themselves. What are they? Has Dr. Moreau taken up residence in the next valley over? Did Snuffy fuck a pigeon at some point?

    Curtis – …!? Richard Nixon appearing on Laugh-In made more sense than this development!

    DT – I’m not really clear on how kidnapping someone and draining their blood with the intent of killing them is “just a skirmish.” Seems like that’s a pretty final plan to me.

    JP – Oh, for the love of God, this isn’t even sporting anymore. Ten bucks says Bubba busts in looking to lay down some punishment, witnesses this tableau, and then sheepishly backs out and shuts the door, somehow blushing even redder.

    Luann – Dear GOD do not show us what he plans to add with with the zucchini. [*]

    MT – So Indians do exist in Mark Trail! I thought it was just the Trails, hoodlums, and Canadians.

    MW – Dawn rises from the table. “I have learned now that life is brutal. And…” – she draws a broadsword – “…brutality is life.” With one swift motion, she lops off the heads of both Mary and Wilbur. “No matter how you slice it.” Coming this summer to a theater near you: DAWN THE BARBARIENNE. Rated R.

    Phantom – “Pardon me, I seem to have wandered into Bloodmoon by mistake. I’m a little surprised my horse still works.”

  130. Overlapping
    August 21st, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Come on, Jamaal! Don’t you know about the three second rule?

  131. Anonymous
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#77): Aww. And it’s already styled.

  132. Poteet
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#131): I got through all of yesterday without doing that. Onward and upward.

  133. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Luann-Anne now knows what it’s like to be a “Luann” reader.

  134. Poteet
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    JP — I thought Avery’s eyes would have to be an improvement over his glasses. I was wrong.

  135. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#125): Cynicism is not enough, it would appear.

  136. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    MT-Arrowheads? I’m going there to gamble. Haven’t you heard they opened a casino.

    JP-”It’s easy to be seduced by a beautiful challenge.” Sam you just took the words right out of Avery’s mouth.

    JP 2-It’s a shame this isn’t winter because Avery needs to come up with a good excuse for sleeping in the same bed with Sam.

  137. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Gojira (#76): And I honestly think that McE, in his heart of hearts, believes Seth could be cured of that nasty gay thing by a good round of hot sex with Edda. He must, because he sure keeps throwing it in our faces. If that does happen, he will be right there with Chik Fil A on the GLBT shit list.

  138. Poteet
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#71): Yes, Bouletcorp was amazing.

  139. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    MW-And I thought that camp we went to in Poland was bad but this cruise ship was worse.

    MW 2-Mary just realized she got the plates mixed up and she got the poisoned food. Oh well at least death will be better than listening to anymore of Dawn and Wilbur.

  140. Perky Bird
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    So Rusty’s going to the old Indian mounds to look for arrowheads as part of his “Grave Desecration” merit badge. Boy, the Scouts sure are finding neat ways to attract today’s youth!

  141. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#137): And on the flipside, are Wilson & Manley reading this site and screwing with us with the text and subtext within JP? For two days now, the language used by Avery, Sam AND the friggin’ narration has been over the top suggestive. Are they sending out these strips and snickering to themselves, waiting for the snarks to roll in? How else to explain something so overt?

  142. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    Shoe-And Shoe would like to take lots more pictures of you. Just don’t tell your parents about them or you’ll get in trouble.

  143. UncleJeff
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#141): As I said about Karen Moy, I’m pretty sure Wilson & Manley are well aware of the CC and know that we are their biggest fans.

  144. Poteet
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    MW — How appropriate that the plates on display in Mary’s cabinet are pure angelic white. No need for embellishments. It’s enough that they are fortunate enough to belong to Mary.

  145. Baleen Blue
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Sneak-peak of tomorrow’s Judge Parker

    Avery: Man, this tackle vest sure is chaffing me.

    Sam: A tough vest like that needs some breaking in. Here let me…

    Avery: I can’t believe it! Now my waders are chaffing me!

  146. Poteet
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#53): Naked from th…oh, great. Now I can never ever unsee that.

  147. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#146): Looking at the bright side, it’s not that much to see or unsee.

  148. greghousesgf
    August 21st, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Blouse??

  149. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#147): Yeah…I sense we have a “turtle” with our boy, Avery. And a round of brain bleach on me, barkeep.

  150. Mars
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Lumpy, how did Luann not make the lineup today? I JUST READ “PLAY WITH YOUR HOT DOG” ON THE COMICS PAGE.

  151. Baka Gaijin
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Special Commenter Badger Badge (#Y229): Honey Badger would win. Honey Badger Don’t Care.

  152. Mark B.
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    What about Wilbur’s horrible leg injury? Is he going to neglect it, and have it amputated due to gangrene? I mean they showed it, it has to have some sort of significance to the plot, right? RIGHT?

  153. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#151):

    Honey Badger has problems of his own. Honey Badger was kicked off the team and is now in rehab. Still doesn’t give a fuck, however.

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/football/ncaa/08/17/lsu-mathieu-rehab.ap/index.html?sct=cf_t2_a13

  154. Shrug
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#88):

    “But this is Mark Trail, in which the topography changes weekly.”

    When he first moved in, Mark discovered a Kat, Mouse (with brick) and Pupp living there. But the giant animals who followed Mark soon made short work of the native wildlife.

    Once there *was* a “heppy land far far away.” Now there’s only Lost Forest.

  155. seismic-2
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#152): When Mary was watching TV with Ian and Tobey, listening to the news reports of how wonderful everyone was to one another during the sinking, Wilbur and Dawn were still in Italy. Now they are back at Charterstone, so some time has transpired between the two scenes. Either this is a week or so later, and Wilbur’s leg has healed, or it is months later, and his leg has been amputated and replaced with a prosthesis. I suppose we shall find out which, during the next kite-flying frolic.

  156. Baka Gaijin
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#25) on Spiderman: I’m not them but I’m rooting for Clown-9.

    @Baleen Blue (#33): Love your Spidey Comment!

    @KreatureFeatures (#38): Why “snitches?” Hasn’t Doc heard that gangland saying: “Snitches get bitches?”

    @Hibbleton (#50): Ah ha ha ha!

  157. Shrug
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#136):

    “It’s a shame this isn’t winter because Avery needs to come up with a good excuse for sleeping in the same bed with Sam.”

    “Sam, you may think that “getting in bed with a big Hollywood producer” is just innocent slang for ‘setting up a movie deal’, but actually. . .”

  158. Shrug
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#151):

    Actually, I’m surprised that no one has mentioned the shout-out to Honey Badger in today’s ARGYLE SWEATER:

    http://www.theargylesweater.com/

  159. Dennis Jimenez
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#158): I don’t follow the strip, but I hope it included the kilt and tartar….

  160. Calico
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Mars (#150):
    That’s just as bad as the title and lyrics of the Marcia Ball song “Play with your Poodle.”
    I want to play with your poodle
    All night long
    !?

  161. Calico
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#145):
    It’s Assless Chaps time again, folks! Arrrrggghhhhh

  162. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#158): That’s because nobody reads The Argyle Sweater, and with good reason.

  163. Calico
    August 21st, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#141):
    Ha, I can see them both, swigging on / sharing a bottle of whiskey and laughing as the comments roll in. Personally, if they really were doing that I would be most enamored and pleased.

  164. Shrug
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#162):

    I wouldn’t seek it out, but the local paper publishes it and I am unable to resist reading all of the comics they publish, even BUCKLES and even (gawdhelpme) THE BRILLIANT MIND OF EDISON LEE. The only one they ever carried that I learned to fling my eyes violently away from at first contact was mercifully dropped some years ago (and shall not be named here even if it would fill more space in this post).

  165. Baka Gaijin
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#71) on Bouletcorp: That was no FOOB, that’s for sure.

    @Marc (#87) on Luann: Same strategy I have dealing with you-know-who’s.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#92): Ha ha HA!

    @commodorejohn (#129) on Snuffy Smith: My bet is Snuffy fucked a bird. He got tired of getting concussions from Loweezy’s pendulous breasts flopping him around during hillbilly lovin’.

  166. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Herb and Jamaal-That’s what Jamaal gets for walking by “Judge Parker”.

  167. yaoi huntress earth
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I think I know how this is going to go: the uncooked weenies (they don’t look cooked to me) gives everyone food poisoning and Anne gets all the blame.

  168. Baka Gaijin
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    I call “Shenanigans” on Pluggers. Like a Plugger could cross his legs above the knee. Cheah, right, and monkeys will fly out of Sam and/or Avery’s ass.

    On windy days, I wonder if light street trash gets stuck to Clown-9′s cranial points? It’d be so funny to see him menacing Spiderman with a Weenie World wrapper speared onto his forehead or a Pathmark bag fluttering in the wind behind his ears.

  169. _Liz
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    MW – “It was brutal.” really?! Really?! Now the writer is just messing with us right? Can’t we have a scene were Dawn is taking a midnight stroll, and coincidentally Dave accidentally hits her with his car, and she utters ….bru..tle.. as she breaths her last breath? I’d like to see that.
    I guess what I’m trying to say is, Dawn needs to go.

  170. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#80): “9CL: They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? didn’t have this much dancing!”

    You’re not kidding. The bicycle race from 6 Day Bike Rider* was way shorter — and easier to sit through — than this marathon dance sequence.

    *1934 film starring Joe E. Brown (“Osgood Fielding III” from Some Like It Hot)

  171. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @_Liz (#169): Et tu, Brutal?

  172. Perky Bird
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @_Liz (#169): I have a feeling “Life is Brutal” will be carved on her tombstone.

  173. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#172): And right above “Life is Brutal” will be carved, “Dave always said I would die.”

  174. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith-Snuffy, stop watching the neighbors have sex.

  175. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#174): Why? Shit, it’s better’n TV.

  176. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Hey, does Edda still want to get pregnant?

  177. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#80), @Rocky Stoneaxe (#170): I’m pretty sure The Nutcracker doesn’t have this much dancing.

  178. tallyHO
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    Mistopher Trendy’s Observations on Observation Utilizing Magnified, Binocular Vision, Pt.I

    Boobies get bigger even if’n the blouses block what yer seein’!

    Chances are pert good theys won’t see yas seein’ their yayas!

    The downside is somebody kin be standing right next to ya wif a rollin’ pin at the ready and ya wouldn’t know it until you woke up from the most painful unconsciousness outside of the aftermaf of bein’ struck by White Lightnin’, repeatedly.

  179. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#84): @wossname (#94): Boulet is fantastic. I’m too lazy to dig up the link myself, but if you google around for his 24-hour comics challenge, you’re in for a real treat.

  180. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#154): I actually found that song in one of my books. I haven’t learned to sing it, but I can always find it if I want it.

  181. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#105): See comment above. I love Boulet, should probably see if any of his books are available in the US.

  182. Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Once again, Maw gets her prepositions all wrong. What she *meant* to say was “you two come home right *before* supper”. Emphasis on the “for”, as in “for our supper”.

    - yeff

  183. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @HAnzMFG (#115): I dunno. I’d kind of like it if Wilbur were voiced by Steve Earle. But that’s just me.

  184. bats :[
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    JP: it’s so much more than sex. Homoerotic or Abbeyesque or Beaboobalicious sex…

  185. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#151): I looked at that link and I’ve got to say that is one poor-assed excuse for a clown. I don’t see how even you would be scared of him. Well, except that for that rather large blood-soaked knife he’s holding.

    mBut I agree. Honey badger will win. He don’t give a shit. It makes him mean when constipated.

  186. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    MW – Dawn and Dave will be buried in adjacent plots, very soon.

    Dave. 1987-2012. “His life was nasty, brutal, and short.”

    Dawn. 1986-2014. “Sigh. Dave used to die like this.”

  187. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#184):Clearly, Avery is omnisexual. Bea, Sam, Old Hardy, the raccoon at the window….doesn’t matter. It’s all good.

  188. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#184): Any mashup that ends with Mary saying “Baroo” is fine by me.

  189. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#154):

    When he first moved in, Mark discovered a Kat, Mouse (with brick) and Pupp living there. But the giant animals who followed Mark soon made short work of the native wildlife.

    Once there *was* a “heppy land far far away.” Now there’s only Lost Forest.

    ?!

  190. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#189): Hmm, that should have been a heart symbol at the end. So, let’s try this again: ♥ !

  191. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#165): Vas ist der “FOOB”?

  192. Marc
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#157): As Dr. Tobias Funke once said ” I wouldn’t want to get in bed with a green producer like a Sofia Coppola though. Oh, but give me an old pro like a Robert Redford. Oh, I’d jump into bed with him in a second. And I wouldn’t just lie there, if that’s what you’re thinking. “

  193. Baleen Blue
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#161): Assless chaps for Sam’s chapless ass, eh?

  194. tallyHO
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#192):

    Oh, Arrested Development! Tis the gift that keeps on giving!

  195. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#191): Here is the definition.

    It is what we call the comic “For Better or For Worse.” Or since it’s in a second run, we now call it reFOOB. It is not a complement.

    It is located here.

  196. tallyHO
    August 21st, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#178):
    Mistopher Trendy’s Observations on Observation Utilizing Magnified, Binocular Vision, Pt.II

    Once ama pon a time, Ah done particimipated in a Search and Rescue Mission to finds a lost chile by the name o’ Rusty.

    He done got lost in a place called Lost Forest. Now mah edumicating was offishially finished after the water hole escapades of the local parson’s dunking contest ended back when I was little. So, I ain’t quite certain if’n it is ironickle that somebody got lost in a place called Lost Forest or if he was just that stoopid to not take the name as bein’ all forebodin’ and stuff.

    Armed with my trusty Bi-Nockulars, my trusty shotgun, my trusty lucky trusseritops toy and a flask, I set out with the search party to find young Rusty.

    Now it should be a said, these days Rusty is well respected expert on dealing with neglected adopted children, and is a prize winning fisherman, ta boot. He’s got trophies amounted on his walls of walleyes, steelheads and the spitting image of the head o’ Mark Trail. Be careful now, if you stand right in front o’ that un, looking him straight in der eyes, he’ll spit atcha!

    The thing about Lost Forest is’n that it everything looks the same. Naw. It is like you stepped inta an Edgar Rice Burroughs novel of epic proporshuns. There’s beasts so large that it makes the strongest o’ men quake in their boots. Lucky for me, I was barefooted. And drunk!

  197. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#195): I see. I’d kinda guessed that, but I wasn’t entirely sure.

    Now, if somebody will kindly explain what the [*] means (without reference to Avery’s anatomy, please!), I will change my name to “pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions”.

  198. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#197):

    Put your mouse cursor over this. [*]

  199. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    Let’s see if I’ve got this straight. [*]

  200. Baleen Blue
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#198): So, what is the html for mouseover technology?

  201. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions (#199): Patience, Grasshopper. All will be revealed as you are ready.

    @Baleen Blue (#200):

    <abbr title=”Text goes here”>[*] </abbr>

  202. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    MW: Catch phrase alert!

    H&J: Since I don’t see her hand anywhere, I can only assume the lady Jamaal ogled threw Chinese throwing stars at him. That sends a message.

    MT: “Doc, why are you chuckling? Do you know something?”
    “Why no, I don’t know anything about any kidnappers, heh heh heh.”

    WofI: I see Dopey, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Doc, Bashful, and Cyclops.

    Agnes: Yay, Trout.

    BC: Even without realistically insectoid features, the extreme close-up of the ant teacher is frea-ky.

    GA: Sure it’s all fun and games now, but the boys will have to hose Slim’s poop out of the back later.

    BB: Zero even being allowed in the missile room is the expression of a global death wish.

    Blondie: It’s not Dr. Seuss’ birthday, is it?

    Phantom: “He’s just being a dick about it.”

    FC: Dolly doesn’t know that her grandmother is older than her mother. Sounds about right.

    DtM: Dennis the (easily) Menaced

    S4th: Ah, these guests should be good for lots of laffs.

    A3G: “If I were in a hurry I’d turn blue and fade into the background, like all the other city folk.”

  203. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#167): Are you suggesting that TJ would willingly start a food poisoning epidemic and injure innocent third parties for petty vengeance against Ann? All because she expressed displeasure at Shannon biting her? Not that I’m disagreeing, I just want to make sure that’s what you’re saying.

  204. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

  205. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#201): Even simpler: <a title=”your text here”>[*]</a>

  206. Sgt. Stoned
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    MT: “I’m going to the mounds to look for arrowheads and maybe get myself kidnapped. You know, the usual.”

    MW: Mary’s face in p1 looks like its melting.

    BB: It’s funny because Zero has inadvertantly killed 20 innocent people in Pakistan.

  207. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions (#205): Well, the <a> tag is sorta reserved for links, while the <abbr> tag exists specifically for this purpose, but yes: title elements can be applied to a variety of tags.

  208. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#201): @pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions (#199): Patience, Grasshopper. All will be revealed as you are ready.

    Just remember not to tell him about that other thing. Ever. We all agreed.

  209. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#207): And yet again, you prove the validity of my new nickname, although I suppose this is more of an html convention. But is “a name=” a link, or a placemarker?

  210. Uncle Lumpy
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#208):

    Telling him about that thing will get you banned. Review the posting guidelines!

  211. Dale
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#206):

    BB – Zero has probably killed a bunch of people in the U.S.
    But that’s a good thing. We can use it as an excuse to attack the country of our choice.

  212. Droopy Says
    August 21st, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Please tell me that this story ends with Curtis waking up and falling out of bed, to discover that he only dreamed about being praised for doing something stupid. It won’t? Okay, can it end with Armageddon? I’ll settle for that.

  213. bats :[
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

  214. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions (#209): Well, it can be either or both, or technically neither, but it is the one that’s intended for linking and place-marking (“A” for “anchor,” though unusually for abbreviated tags there’s no <anchor> equivalent.) As you say, it’s a matter of convention, but for the sake of keeping things sensible I stick to <abbr> for my title-text needs.

  215. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#155):

    I suppose we shall find out which, during the next kite-flying frolic.

    “Hey, Dawn ((limp)), look how high my kite ((stumble)) can go! Wait ((trip))—I’ll do that ((stumble)) again!”

    Comedy gold.

    @tallyHO (#194): Aw, c’mon!

  216. Shrug
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#198):

    “Put your mouse cursor over this”

    Wasn’t that going to be Avery’s next line? Or T.J.’s? Or Edda’s?

  217. jjjohnson
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    Herb and Jamaal panels are cut and pasted, like a Shylock Fox tell the difference artoon. Except of course there is none. At least panel one and two. I think you can see the cut lines too! Fun Stuff!

  218. Shrug
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#177):

    Heck, I’m pretty sure the medieval European St. Vitus dancing mania didn’t have this much dancing.

  219. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#90): Great stuff. This reminds me how lucky we are as WashPost subscribers: We got bonus years of Thompson’s work with Richard’s Poor Almanac.

  220. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#201): I originally started using hovertext here for lines that called for footnoting, and they used to look sufficiently different from regular text that they called attention to themselves.

    Then the blog software changed in some way, and hovertexted lines looked like everything else, so I adopted the bracketed asterisk from its use in a different way elsewhere.

    As the originator of the practice, I’d rather see the entire preceding text hovertexted so I don’t have to aim right at the asterisk. It’s a particular hassle when I’m using my laptop with its glide pad.

  221. demoncat
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    mw. so you both have learned never to leave santa royal with out my permission have some more peas dear.

  222. Poteet
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#147): @Chaze (#149): Bring a great big glass of that brain bleach over here, barkeep. Eww.

  223. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#208): Oh, yeah. Shhh. Mums the word. Tick a lock. Lie doggo. Shut the hell up.

  224. Poteet
    August 21st, 2012 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    Can I manage this? [*]

  225. Poteet
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

  226. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#218): @Shrug (#218): Even Garth Brooks’s “The Dance” in all its weeks at the top of the charts did not go on as long as Seth and Edda. And they JUST got to the handsex today. That’ll go on the rest of the week.

  227. Dennis
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS: Nobody says bodacious anymore unless they were a kid who was cryogenically frozen in 1993 and just thawed out. Even then I doubt they would say it just because somebody filled a bird feeder and they themselves were too cheap to buy birdseed to feed their own birds.

    Shoe: Hur hur hur the good ol’ generation gap gag. And take his wife…please. I bet tommorow they do that one about airline food.

    MW: Seriously Dawn, enough with the purple dress already. Does she have like a whole bunch of the damn things organized for every event, like one for dinner with Mary, one for vacation, and one for cruiseship disasters?

  228. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-I’m going to stay home and masturbate that night.

    Gil Thorp-They figure it will be pretty boring and they can laugh at the one armed man.

    A3G-You’re not the first publicist he’s had sex with, Margo.

    Zits-Jeremy, if you like that you should try “snowballing”.

  229. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#216): I think they were going to say mouth not mouse.

  230. Ubiq
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    “It was humanity at its worst.” “It was brutal.”

    So, basically, it was a daytrip to Westview.

  231. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#220): So that was you who started it. It turned out to be pretty popular.

    I don’t mind using the glide pad except when my finger gets a bit moist and I have to dry it off on my shirt so I can get the cursor to go where I want it to go.

  232. _Liz
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#186):
    lol! I can see it in my mindseye.. if only I was better at photoshop

  233. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    MW-What do you mean went nuts, Dawn? Are you saying that they turned into actual nuts because we know that is not possible.

  234. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis (#227):

    Nobody says bodacious anymore

    But that would be a damned shame! “Bodacious” is an excellent word and fun to say. And I use it, particularly in the phrase “bodacious tatas,” as in, “Say, your wife and secretary sure have some bodacious tatas, don’t they, Sam?” “Huh? Whuh?”

  235. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#233): ~sigh~ Dave used to have nuts.

  236. tallyHO
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    I agree that Bodacious is a good word.

    Oddly, for some reason I associate with Professional Wrestlers. There seems to be no way to pronounce it in hushed tones. It is a word you have to stand up and be proud to say, like, “Candy Gram!”. Though that might now be the best example off the top-of-my-head. The thing is you have to say it like you own it.

    And, if you close your eyes and stumble backwards 5 steps (or a couple of decades) Bodacious will remind you of Bocephus.

    Why that isn’t use more often….well, perhaps we should consider ourselves grateful for the bounty of non-Bocephus stuff before us all.

  237. tallyHO
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#236):

    Ack! There goes my confidence in not using Preview….

    “…might now NOT be the best example…”

    As it goes, Bocephus certainly can be Bodacious in Boisterous and he’s probably Bellicose if given the venue.

  238. Baka Gaijin
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#203): No. TJ would willingly start a food poisoning epidemic for revenge on his best friend and suspected lover getting fired by the EVILANNEIFEL because he sat around chatting with his girlfriend instead of working. The huzzy!

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#220): I wholeheartedly agree. Open the tag at the beginning of the comment.

  239. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#234): I can’t think of the word “bodacious” without thinking of Snuffy Smith et al. Even using it with your example I immediately think of Loweezy. I don’t want to think of Loweezy. That’s why I don’t use the word.

    Where’s that brain bleach.

  240. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis (#227): @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#234): If anybody has the right to use “bodacious”, it’s Snuffy Smith. It is one of his catch phrases, popularized in the strip. It was even in his theme song.

    // Although it is much older than BG: Merriam-Webster’s first citation is 1832.

  241. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#240):

    *PUBLIC SERVICE SUGGESTION*

    If one wishes to prevent an earworm from crawling throughout your brain I would suggest you NOT click on that link.

    Caution to bourbon babe, unbuckled: Watch out, you seem especially prone to the earworm.

  242. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#210): @Sequitur (#223): Absolutely, and thanks for the timely reminder, Uncle. As we were told when we took the Secret Oath, the first rule about the other thing is never mention that thing.

    // And never mention the Secret Oath.

  243. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#242):

    <Maxwell Smart voice> I asked you not to mention that. </Maxwell Smart voice.>

  244. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#243): What if I lowered the Cone of Silence?

  245. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS: That looks like a grill on the bottom of the bird cage. A bodacious grill.

  246. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

  247. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

  248. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

  249. Liam
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith-And there goes the blue birds of happiness never to return.

  250. The Ridger
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Even in NYC there have to be people in that audience composing letters demanding the artistic director (hahaha) and choreographer be fired. “Won’t somebody think of the children?”

  251. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#239): The bodacious brain bleach? The bodacious, baggy-bosom-obliterating brain bleach?

    @Sequitur (#241): Gah! Luckily, I stopped it 15 seconds in. Ah uh uh uh, great balls of fire, indeed!

  252. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    [^]

  253. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#251):

    1) Yes, please. In the 55 gallon drum size.

    2) Lucky you!

  254. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#251): Wouldn’t it be fun singing that as a round, like “Row, row, row your boat”?

    // I think Muffaroo was working on a motet on that theme.

  255. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#243): I know, I know!! Ooh ooh, Mistah Kottah, Mistah Kottah!!!

  256. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#236): I love the word bodacious. It has transcended its humble origins. Right there with is another favorite of mine, “mendacity.”

    I can’t hear “mendacity” without picturing Burl Ives in a bathrobe banging around his basement in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.”

  257. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#254): I do believe it is already a Gregorian Chant.

  258. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

  259. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#255): You can’t fool me. He’s dead.

  260. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#259): Two down…two to go….

  261. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

  262. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

  263. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#260): Is there a deathwatch on Sweathogs?

  264. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

  265. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#259): That blows my mind. I honestly had no idea that he died last week.

  266. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    I dunno….Ron Pallilo and Robert Hegyes both died pretty close to each other. I’m just sayin’ is all….sounds like a plot to me.

  267. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#259): But at least we know Abe Vigoda is still alive. Which is more than we can say for Spider-Man’s career. Hi-yo!

  268. Chaze
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#266): Back in the 80′s I looked just like Gabe Kaplan, Afro-perm, bushy mustache and all. I was able to pass at every church bazaar I attended…

  269. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#264): Scaredy cat!

  270. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#265): Sermon material. I Corinthians 10:12.

  271. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#269): Hey, I’m a brave man but there’s no way I’m gonna risk the wrath of Uncle Lumpy. I’m not stupid. Duh.

  272. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

  273. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    Whoa! Several postings in a row. I’m getting into Poteet (Anonymous) territory.

  274. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: I believe they are actually mocking the President. Or at least, treating him like any other politician. Very Curious.

  275. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#270): Well sure, but it probably applies much better to former members of the Ramones than the Sweathogs. John Travolta is going to live forever, if he has to sacrifice every virgin in America to do it.

  276. bats :[
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#263): I’m wondering if Mistah Kotta outlives all of his students…

  277. Peanut Gallery
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#270): “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall”? Sounds like advice for Andy Capp, staggering home after a night at the pub.

  278. yaoi huntress earth
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#203): I was thinking it would be by accident, but I could see it being intentional.

  279. Austria
    August 21st, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    So when TJ plays with his hot dog, it involves teeny hot-dog-sized bikinis?

  280. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#275): You Travolta hasn’t already done that?

    @bats :[ (#276): So long as he keeps playing poker.

    @Peanut Gallery (#277): Hey! You got it!

  281. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#275): You sure Travolta hasn’t already done that?

    Nuts. I even used Preview. I guess it helps to read what you wrote before you press “Post.”

  282. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#279): You don’t want to see the cleavage.

  283. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#204): With a more competent opponent, yes.

  284. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

  285. Department of Enforced Lacunae
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#208): @Nehemiah Scudder (#208): Please tell me that you’re not going to start talking about REDACTED. This is a no-no.

    Back in 1968, we made sure that ARPA put blockers on the Internet to keep that from happening. It was cheaper than continuing to send out those black helicopters every damn time it happened.

    And don’t talk about the other other thing, either. After all these years, it still glows in the dark.

  286. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#284): Eww! Squid boobs.

  287. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#286): Cthulhu boobs. Worst kind of man boobs ever.

  288. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#283): Like, Batman, maybe? TJ could be the villian known as The Smiler!

  289. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#287): Cthulhu Moobs. Great name for a stripper.

  290. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#262): Uncle Lumpy can read lips. Wait, that’s the wrong word. Uncle Lumpy can read words.

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#274): Billingsley may have been peeved at not getting a thank-you note from Obama for including him in his popular and critically acclaimed comic strip, so now he’s ripping the lid off.

  291. pastordan
    August 21st, 2012 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#289): “Moobs” Cthulhu. Great gangster name.

    // Cthulhu walks into a bar, and the bartender says…

  292. Sequitur
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#291):// Cthulhu walks into a bar, and the bartender says…

    Is that a tentacle in your pocket or are you glad to see me?

    No, wait. That wasn’t the bartender.

  293. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    So Cthulhu walks into a sushi bar, and the counterman says, “Hey, we have a bento box named after you!”

  294. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 21st, 2012 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#289): Cthulhu Moobs. Great name for a stripper.

    I think that only the largest cities would be able to support a club that would hire that act. Kind of a specialized taste.

  295. Not Worth It
    August 22nd, 2012 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    Ok, I give. Is Crankshaft supposed to be making some sort of pun or something, or is this the start of a Serious Issue storyline about how the use of nonsensical non-words is a warning sign of a stroke?

  296. Droopy Says
    August 22nd, 2012 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    Spider-Bland: After the sex-change operation, Quasimodo landed a job as a newscast director. Pity he lacked the experience to realize that the typical newscast goes out live, with at most a few seconds of time-delay.

    FU, W: What suggestions? Did you tell the One-Armed Blandit to throw a bucket of water on the old harridan? Or are we going to see the start of a confrontation, then cut to a scene where everyone pats Becky on the back for her brilliant, clever and unseen put-down of her mother-in-law?

    Interview With The Avery: Put the sunglasses back on, Avery, this strip is less disturbing when it’s played as a straight-out gay seduction.

    Brokeback Parker: “Trust you with my life” equals “I’m sure you aren’t HIV-positive.”

    Pluggers: Is the Plugger trashing his mail or mailing his trash? Entropy loses all meaning when Pluggers go to work.

  297. Baka Gaijin
    August 22nd, 2012 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick. Clown-9, you’re officially the best supervillian ever in the newspaper Spideyverse. What style. What class.

  298. Droopy Says
    August 22nd, 2012 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    sitruC: Thanks, but I get all the idiocy I need from the news.

    Mock Trail: So after the diamond-smuggling gig failed, Baldy McAscot cut a deal and went into Witness Protection. He’s now one of the Wildlife People, who perform show tunes at summer camps. Despite this Baldy has maintained contact with the criminal element in the southern part of gthe state, so he’ll be able to identify the two poachers. He could have done this yesterday by going to the scene of the crime after Doc and Cherry called it in, but he and Lumberjack Guy were busy rehearsing a very special tune for tonight’s show. Fortunately he can tell Cherry that these poachers are known to hide out among Indian mounds, but of course they wouldn’t be there now with a rotting, festering bighorn head.

    Shoe: You’re a frickin’ bird. Your head doesn’t need hair.

  299. Comcis Fan
    August 22nd, 2012 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    FW: Is it my imagination or does Mr. Batiuk take a dim view of women, Lisa notwithstanding? (See: Depressed One-Arm Becky, Les Groupie for Life Susan Smith, Shade-Shifting Prop Cayla, Lines of Adoring Les Book Fans, Androgynous Summer.)

  300. Charly
    August 22nd, 2012 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    9CL: I saw a therapist for the first time today, and he said that everything was confidential, except if he suspected potential suicide, murder, or abuse of children. After reading today’s 9CL, the authorities may have to be alerted due to point 1.

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