The Comics Curmudgeon

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All I wanna do is a zoom zoom zumba

Zits, 3/11/08

Today’s Zits disturbed and horrified me — not, I hasten to add, because there’s something wrong with a woman of a certain age (or any age, for that matter) dancing around in such a fashion as to cause her bosoms to jiggle and sway. No, my gripe is in how said breasts are depicted. The rightmost Connie is depicted frozen in a moment in time and leaning back, presumably as she dances to the music; in a world governed by the laws of physics as I understand them, her breasts should themselves be at the top of their gentle arc, perhaps raised up a bit from the rest of her chest. Instead, they appear to be wriggling around as she stands motionless, as if they were the tentacles around the mouth-parts of Cthulu, an illusion made all the more real by the fact that there seem to be six of them. If I saw such a thing on the front of any human female, let alone my mother, I too would beg for hysterical blindness.

Cathy, 3/11/08

Speaking of nameless horrors, there’s something unsettling about today’s Cathy, and not in the usual way, either. What exactly does Irving mean by “a person like you”? And why is Cathy standing in front of some kind of inky black portal in the final panel? “I know! That’s why I can’t go back!” she proclaims, terrified of the unspoken but no doubt awful fate that awaits her at the demonic so-called “gym”. But it doesn’t matter that she refuses to go — the darkness is looming behind her, threatening to swallow her up.

For Better Or For Worse, 3/11/08

Man, check out Liz’s face in that final panel. She looks pretty pleased with herself, doesn’t she? Remember, fellas: Nothing can bring a woman to orgasm faster than explaining carefully, with careful attention to the grammatical case of your relative pronouns, that you respect and value and her autonomy.

Meanwhile, Anthony is driving ever closer to the secluded clearing where he disposes of the bodies.

Dennis the Menace, 3/11/08

This may seem on the surface to be more run-of-the-mill submenacing, but what if by “I beat the sun up again” Dennis means not “I woke up before sunrise” but “I bested the sun in hand-to-hand combat”? You have to admit that if an eight-year-old kid managed to pummel our sun, which is 800,000 miles in diameter and has surface temperature of 9 million degrees, into submission, that would be pretty menacing — both because it would be a bad-ass achievement in and of itself and because it would send our planet’s temperature plunging close to absolute zero, killing all life on its surface. Henry and Alice will barely have time to bestir themselves before the very atmosphere freezes solid!

Herb and Jamaal, 3/11/08

I have to admit that I find the little puff of smoke hovering over the toaster in the first two panels of this strip totally adorable! It’s like the toaster is angry! Possibly because it has to just sit there and listen to this ancient, horrible joke.

Crankshaft, 3/11/08

Ha ha, the old lady slipped on the ice, probably seriously injuring herself! Man, I can’t wait to see how this barrel of laughs develops.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 08:02 pm and is filed under Cathy, Crankshaft, Dennis the Menace, For Better or for Worse, Herb and Jamaal, Zits.

213 responses to “All I wanna do is a zoom zoom zumba”

The Spectacular Spider-Brick, Decreer of Things (Self-Appointed)
March 11th, 2008 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

No comments? Come on, folks!

I decree the commenting on this thread… open!
Niall
March 11th, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: after cancer, it’s debilitating injury time! Definitely an upper – what with all the painkillers involved…
Tabby Lavalamp
March 11th, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

She’s fallen and she can’t get up! Haaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahaa… I hate myself.
Benjamin Baxter
March 11th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

As for the multiple breastses statement, I fall firmly within the Total Recall crowd. As long as she doesn’t end up looking like a mother sow, the more the merrier.

To think that Zits inspired this. Another reason to hate the strip.

http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/
Brian
March 11th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

Um, did you mean the leftmost Connie or the rightmost Connie?
Harbinger
March 11th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace: that’s actually a typo in the caption. Dennis is trying to tell his parents he beat the Son up again, meaning of course that he has pummeled Jesus Christ. And not for the first time, apparently. What could be more menacing than that, I ask you?
Janine
March 11th, 2008 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

Herb And Jamaal needs to watch some Mythbusters. They had an episode about dropping buttered toast. It was busted.
bobbaloo (aka bob byrd)
March 11th, 2008 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

gil thorpe is changing artists again: http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/custom/gilthorp/cs-080303-gil-thorp-new-artist-rod-whigham-html,0,3149107.htmlstory
Benjamin Baxter
March 11th, 2008 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

Amusing anecdote unrelated to today’s strips:

I spent the better part of dinner trying to convince my friend that Garfield is mind-numbingly horrible. Finally, I lapsed into what I thought was a surefire comparison.

“It’s gone the way of Beetle Bailey.”

“But Beetle Bailey is great.”

That’s when I stopped arguing. Some people are lost to us.

http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/
Bryan
March 11th, 2008 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

We get to see Dennis’ Mom in bed. Sweeet. I bet she’s hellcat in the sack. T-I-G-E-R. I shit you negative.
Trotzenbonnie
March 11th, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

Ay yi, Herr Brick!

“not, I hasten to add, because there’s something wrong with a woman of a certain age (or any age, for that matter) dancing around in such a fashion as to cause her bosoms to jiggle and sway.”

Is there anyone left who wonders why Josh deserves our undying love and respect? (Or is he just trying to escape the wrath of Granny T?)

CRANKSHAFT – As I have just finished reading ‘Remembering the Bones’, I can assure you that …. ah, shit. I don’t want to spoil it for you so read it yourself.

DTM – Well, the Mitchells do seem to be prepared for the demise of the sun as they have installed a radiator grate at the foot of their bed.

Hey! There’s Truman Fable over there to the … left!
How are things in Roopville, baby?
Mollie
March 11th, 2008 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

I submit that this “Herb & Jamaal” is almost saved by the final panel. The expression on this female character’s face could be read as “wry,” but I’m pretty sure what it really means is “…let’s find out!”
TheDiva
March 11th, 2008 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

Long-time lurker, first-time poster. Anyway:

Am I the only one who looks at that “Zits” comic and hears a bappity-bappity-bappity sound not unlike that of a boxer working the speed bag? :-o
BenG
March 11th, 2008 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: I should say not, considering you just slipped on your eighty year old ass in the middle of an icy walkway in the dead of night without anyone else in sight to rush to your aide and with you surely being too delicate and feeble to get yourself up. Indeed, it seems doubtful that you’ll even get to hear the beginning of it.
scooterboy
March 11th, 2008 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

I can’t be the only one out there who thinks that Alice Mitchell is H-A-W-T!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick, Decreer of Things (Self-Appointed)
March 11th, 2008 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

Mollie @ 12: I submit that the girl’s expression in the final panel of H&J is best described not as wry, but as… rye.
Claude
March 11th, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

Of course Alice Mitchell is hot. Everyone knows that. And yet, every time she gazes upon Dennis she swears one more time that Henry will never, EVER touch her again. And that’s his punishment.
Vice-Pope Chris
March 11th, 2008 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

FOOB: HOORAY! Blandthony’s giving Liz permission to cheat on him! You GO, Girl! That’s the ONLY way to be sure!

(okay, okay, I know damn good & well that tomorrow, Liz is gonna declare her undying devotion & never-gonna-do-the-nasty-with-another-guy to the Moustache-less. But damn, I can always dream….)
commodorejohn
March 11th, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

#4 Benjamin Baxter – It takes great care for an artist to do it right, but it can work; see KT’s infamous Slylock Fox fanart, for example. Today’s Zits, on the other hand, is a perfect example of not just how to not do it right, but how to do it about as wrong as humanly possible.
Eats Shoots And Leaves
March 11th, 2008 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

Zits: I for one, think that the boob depiction on Jeremy’s mom is hilarious. Especially since I think the sound effects would go something like this; flabbityboobityflabbityboobity.
Sly Robbie
March 11th, 2008 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

That’s great news, Bobbaloo!

My life has been in a funk ever since the weirdly angular features of the Milfordians were “softened.” It greatly diminished the appeal of Gil Thorpe, and took away my will to live.

I just hope the syndicate doesn’t do another switch and tempts us with Rod Whigham while delivering Ralph Wiggum.

/Robbie
Eats Shoots And Leaves
March 11th, 2008 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

Aw, nuts. #13 beat me to it, and had better imagery, too.
Mooncattie
March 11th, 2008 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

#17 Claude – But the nightly claw marks on his face almost make up for it!
commodorejohn
March 11th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

#8 bobbaloo – Hmm. Well, I can’t say I’ve been a huge fan of Bolle’s brief tenure, so I look forward to seeing what the Wighum fellow can do with the strip. I don’t if we’ll ever see the likes of McLaughlin’s crimes against art and physics again, though.
Rusty
March 11th, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Foob: Granthony starring in the Black Dahlia? One can only hope.

DtM: Dennis’s mom is teh hot, it can’t be doubted.

Cranky: Shaft should be coming by to make a joke about how she is too old to be raped at any time now.

Cathy: I have finally gotten to the point where I can just pass it by without reading. Having her and Irving get married has added absolutely nothing to the strip, the rote themes she has always trotted out, the pedestrian observations and minor complaints. We are about a month from the ritual trying-on of swimsuits, whoopee.
Patrick
March 11th, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

I’ll cast a concurring vote for the hotness of Alice Mitchell!

Apparently, Connie’s breasts entered a quantum state where all of her parallel selves breasts jiggle into the same dimension at the same time. Must have been the zumba music.

Is that a shovel I hear bouncing around in the back of Blandthony’s car? I can’t decide if it is for the drivel coming out of his mouth or what he intends to do with Lizardbreath for having been within touching distance of another male. If he wasn’t such a creep, I would not have been bothered by him indicating his trust for Lizardbreath. But then he gets all whomever all over her and I want to wretch. I wonder if it’s possible that Blandthony in the end becomes the biggest betrayer of all and this is a big long set up towards that. His smarmy dudley do-right schtick is just too good to be true. One day, Lynn will turn on him because in the end, she hates all of her male characters.

snorb, slurch, ackthppt!
Shoshi
March 11th, 2008 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

Mooncattie, reposting from previous thread, that I can SEE from the photos why your face would have hurt by the end of the night, as you have such a great (and BIG) smile!
Brick Bradford
March 11th, 2008 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

So, gang, let’s play “If we could assign any comic artist, living or dead, to do Gil Thorpe, who would we choose?”

I think a Steve Ditko GT might be intriguing. He did a lot with wierd, impossible body positions and angles in Spider-Man,but he made it work. And the man who created J. Jonah Jameson certainly would know his way around a flat top!

Plus Mr. A. could drop by and whack Marty Moon!
kippetje2000
March 11th, 2008 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

You know (as some of you must) that the Onion used to publish the latest Cathy translated into Spanish. I found that so much more enjoyable than in English, and I don’t even speak Spanish. Now it’s Ziggy, though, I have to admit, I’ve always fantasized that Ziggy spoke some nordic language.

Speaking of fantasy: Alice Mitchell’s ‘over-the-shoulder come-hither half-asleep pouty’ look is going to keep me up tonight.

Didn’t we used to call that CILF?
Foolkiller
March 11th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

I like how Anthony keeps trying to check out the goods while driving. Next episode: why did you crash?
Violet
March 11th, 2008 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

Reading today’s Dennis the Menace, I didn’t even get at first that “I beat the sun up” was intended to be Family-Circus style our-kid’s-retarded-so-he-says-stupid-shit-like-that wholesome domestic comedy and just assumed the writer had that very moment succumbed to (clearly foreseeable) dementia. But I was immediately distracted from trying to figure out what the hell the hideous footie-pajama-clad troll was blathering on about by the unexpectedly charming noir-ish atmosphere in the Mitchell’s bedroom, puzzlement as to why Mrs. Mitchell sleeps in a bathing suit, and the incontrovertible evidence that Mr. Mitchell is on day fifteen of a two-week bender.
treadwell
March 11th, 2008 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: Okay, she fell, but no one has to know. She can use the communicator by her left hand to hail the Enterprise, where McCoy can patch her up and then beam her back to the same spot undetected.

Josh, don’t you owe us a COTW? ;)
Farley's Revenge
March 11th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

The bouncing boobs bothers me less than the stripey leotard leggings. Doesn’t Connie know horizontal stripes make your legs look swollen?
Kevin Moore
March 11th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

The new Gil Thorp guy will be “Wigham”? Can we call him “Chief”?

And here’s how the new Gil might look: http://www.myuselessknowledge.com/joe/acebio.gif

Thanks for the link, bobbalo!
Farley's Revenge
March 11th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

“Her”, not “your”. This is what happens when one types while eating cake.
Big Sims
March 11th, 2008 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

Josh wrote:

Henry and Alice will barely have time to bestir themselves before the very atmosphere freezes solid!

About eight minutes right? That’s twice the amount of time Henry needs for some apocalyptic lovin’
Muffaroo
March 11th, 2008 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

H&J – Is this real? It seems pretty specific. I would expect the speeches to read more like: “They say when you drop a toasted slice of a well-known baked dough product with a dairy product spread on one side…” Also, who is this character? Looks like an extremely short version of a 1940s telephone operator.

Spider-Brick @16 – The fact you can say that shows that you aren’t well bread.

Farley’s Revenge @33 – One of the most memorable ensembles I ever saw was worn by a young woman at Houston’s Galleria. She was all in black and white, in horizontal bands, with a white top, a black skirt, and black and white stockings — arranged so that where one had a black stripe, the other had a white stripe, and so on — terminating in one black shoe and one white. I was impressed, I’ll say.
Mooncattie
March 11th, 2008 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

#27 Shoshi, thank you! The Tucson Meetup was a non-stop smile-and-laugh-a-thon, and I’m only sorry that it went by so quickly and time ran out to chat with everyone. I’m still smiling at a story about my very first encounter with a Roadrunner at the Sonoran Desert Museum, prompting cartoon references from others about piles of “free” birdseed on the highway. There were comic references galore – even the Gap-Toothed Starey “Hoo!” Guy made an appearance!
Cheeky Wee Monkeys
March 11th, 2008 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

What happens if you tie buttered bread to an old lady and a cat?

The lady falls down!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Canuckguy
March 11th, 2008 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

That definitely should be the *rightmost* Connie, Josh, not leftmost. The leftmost one is something to look at to reset your brain of the horrible rightmost image, but definitely not the best thing.
Oddball
March 11th, 2008 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

GT – I really miss Frank 1.0. I’d actually gone beyond ironic enjoyment of the strip and had fully embraced its lunacy. I’m not digging Frank 2.0, but I think that, given enough time, he would eventually go completely berserk. Frank 1.0 had some very normal-looking original GT strips.
Daktari
March 11th, 2008 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

Wednesday’s GT here:

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/custom/gilthorp/
Gold-Digging Nanny
March 11th, 2008 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

Rump-shaker!
By Wrecks ‘N’ Effects
Islamorada Girl
March 11th, 2008 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

As to Connie Duncan’s boobs, I belong to a women’s gym where a lot of ladies of a certain age work out. Some of them have not heard of the sports bra, that female version of a jock strap that holds ‘em in tighter than Granthony’s psycho grip on Liz. And I have to say, many of them do a Connie. It’s not good for your breast tissue and supporting muscles, but Zits did a pretty accurate portrayal of what it looks like.
Farley's Revenge
March 11th, 2008 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

Muffaroo@37: That reminds me of a jr. high friend who wore black and white, including one black fishnet and one white fishnet stocking, and was considered the epitome of fashion at our decidedly fashion-less school. Some people just have innate style. I’m not one of them.

I never thought I’d see the day when Anthony comes off as reasonable and generous yet that day has arrived. Of course, he can afford to be reasonable and generous considering the level of groveling Elizabeth is doing.
thesycophant
March 11th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

Should be interesting to see Gil Thorp change up again. According to the article,

his grasp of human figures, sports action and varied artistic perspectives is exceptional.

It’s just not going to be the same.

And, uh, Alice Mitchell FTW?
Daktari
March 11th, 2008 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

Wed. GT –
I’m kinda missing the flash bulbs and Frito™ like confetti that should be in panel one. How else are we to know how exciting this game is?
Islamorada Girl
March 11th, 2008 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

Herb and Jamal: Insert your Schroediger’s Cat with buttered feet joke here. I know you want to.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

#37 Muffaroo

Also, who is this character? Looks like an extremely short version of a 1940s telephone operator.

That’s Sarah, the lovely ~~beard~~ wife of titular character Herb. And I’m pretty sure she’s still taller than her husband.
Godzooky
March 11th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

Josh: Suggest you take another look at the end of that “Remember fellas” sentence. (What can I say, it’s compulsive)
AeroSquid
March 11th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

CS: Time for Shaft to break out his Wednesday Go To Life Support Removal Hat !
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
March 11th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

Drat. I found this video link (one of my fave-o-rites) that was jogged (or frightened) in my memory by Connie’s Zumba workout, previewed it, and then forgot to post it. Oh, well, I’ll try again (and crank up the volume, kids!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFqtye2_3E4

(The character is Bueno the Bear. No relation to Mollie.)
Maughta
March 11th, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

I always knew Dennis would be the cause of world annihilation. I just always assumed it would be a little more, y’know, menacing.
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
March 11th, 2008 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

27. Shoshi: yeah, Mooncattie’s smile is electrifying (probably helps him get through those Toronto winters!). And, double yeah, Friday night at the Meetupalooza did cause my face to hurt from smilin’ and laughin’.
Mr. bats :[ and I are still in the “Damn! that was FUN!” stage.
Alley (not Allie) Cat
March 11th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

Thank you, thank you, bats…that video is just what I needed before going to bed. I only wish it were longer.
AeroSquid
March 11th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

DTM: You know that guy who dresses up like he’s the sun for that Breakfast Bowl ad ? Yeah. He decided to sneak into Dennis’ bedroom t offer him a breakfast sausage. You don’t screw with Dennis while he is regenerating in his Sleep Alcove.
Max
March 11th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Anthony tells Liz he wants her to be free to be herself. So what does she do in Panel 5? Release a silent-but-deadly fart, of course. Sure, Liz, pretend it’s just the smell of Anthony’s rotting masculinity!
Beauregard Bugleboy
March 11th, 2008 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

#28. I vote for Cathy Guisewite as the next Gil Thorp “artist.”
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 11th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

I’ve decided to go back and read ever FOOB since 2001 or so, which is as far back as I can find on the net. I just started reading in January, so I don’t know much about the characters.

After reading a few months worth, I really like it so far. I wish I had a strip like that that I could “grow up with.” I hope that in 20 years or so I can point to several comics I’m reading today and say, “I’ve been reading that for 20 years.” It would be pretty sweet :)

So I just met Anthony for the first time. Now, I don’t hate Anthony (yet), since I just started reading, so here are my first impressions: Blah. He’s not terrible, but I’m reading strip after strip of Elly and John talking about what a GREAT guy he is, and shoving Liz in his direction. Plus, he and Liz keep acting like they’re in love and should be together. So why the hell is he engaged? I mean, if were a man, which I’m not, and loved another woman, I would NOT get married. That’s sick. And I don’t feel sorry for him, either. He’s willingly getting married to a woman when he loves Liz, who happens to be available at the moment.

I also just read the few strips where Warren is introduced. So far, he doesn’t seem anything like the whiny guy we’re seen in the past week. He’s calm and sure of himself and laid back, he isn’t a basket case or gushing over anything.

Other than that, I enjoy the strip. It’s disappointing to know what the strip will become in the future, and that it will be ending soon, but oh well. I would rather Lynn just take the whole thing off the page than drag it out like this. If she wants “more vacation time” she should retire.
commodorejohn
March 11th, 2008 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

You know, to get terribly nerdy about it all, the Earth wouldn’t freeze eight minutes after the sun went out. That assumption is based on the idea that space is cold, where “cold” is defined as “sucking heat away.” This is incorrect: space being a vacuum, there is no matter for the heat to be transferred to. Space doesn’t have a zero temperature, it has a null temperature. Earth would lose heat by radiation, however, but this is much more slow, which means humanity’s demise would be that much more drawn-out, which means that this is, in my recollection, Dennis’s first solid act of real menace. Bravo, Dennis! Bravo!
Mario Panighetti
March 11th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

Wait, is the last panel in Herb and Jamaal supposed to be a punch line? I felt like it just ended before the obvious conclusion in panel four, wherein she ties buttered toast to a cat and drops it off the roof of her house. Then we’d finally know, and the result is bound to be funnier than this dreck.
alamo
March 11th, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

there was a cartoon strip named zits
(you know where this is going)
whose humor is gener’ly the pits
teen angst and dumb folks
make the usual jokes
but please spare me ma’s flopping (reward) tits.
StrangeRover
March 11th, 2008 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

H+J: Jesuhs God NO! – the smoke coming from the toaster is the stench of burning cat-flesh.

Tomorrow she tests the cat-in-microwave theory…
Francis
March 11th, 2008 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft didn’t let the old woman finish! “I’m probably not going to hear the end of this … because I’ll have died in the night, and thus will not be able to experience the outcome of this in any way whatsoever, audibly or otherwise.”
Zaq
March 11th, 2008 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

I think I figured out why all the men in A3G are sandy-haired… somewhere along the way, someone mixed up “bland” and “blond.” The only question is, was it the artist or the writer who first screwed it up?
Gg83, with some TMI
March 11th, 2008 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

Remember, fellas: Nothing can bring a woman to orgasm faster than explaining carefully, with careful attention to the grammatical case of your relative pronouns, that you respect and value and her autonomy.

I don’t know about other women, but I find that damn hot. Now if only it were from someone other than Anthony, it could be great.

Mmm…grammatically correct respect from a loved one…mmmMMMmmm…uh, I’m gonna need a little time alone here. You all keep on snarkin’.
alamo
March 11th, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

64 — she will be the lucky one if she dies. the rest of us will have to endure this depressing tale to the sad end.
Loramir
March 11th, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

Did no one else find “iPot” hilarious in today’s Archie? I always loved the brand name substitutions back when I read Archie comic books. Much funnier than being vague and nonspecific.

I imagine an iPot has something to do with marijuana, or at least plays psychedelic music to accompany your weed-smoking?
Frinkenstein
March 11th, 2008 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

I have noted that Connie’s breasts, as drawn, are remarkably similar to the breasts on the “Christian Singles” ad woman. I’m also remarkably ashamed that I noted this.
Gold-Digging Nanny
March 11th, 2008 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny

Today’s SFx is yet another Sausage Fest.

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080311&name=Slylock

1) The mouse in panel one is Cubist. The mouse in panel two has one eye and a dislocated ear.
2) The dog in panel one was using the sausages as a jump-rope. He’s pissed that his exercise equipment has been stolen.
3) The cat and dog in panel two are celebrating Sausage Day, a traditional annual holiday in mixed-pet households in which cats steal sausage links from the dogs they share a home with, perform a dance in which they rub the sausages suggestively against their bodies, and embark on a seven-block chase. After that, they eat the sausages simultaneously from opposite ends Lady-and-the-Tramp-style and battle each other in a thumb war.
4) The bluebird in panel one has been ostracized by the other bluebirds because of the outlandish size of his beak.
5) The bunny in panel two has nearly fallen off the edge of the earth.
6) The cat and dog rudely interrupted a baseball game between the bunny and mouse. The bunny was winning, but the mouse was about to bring out his secret weapon: the tortoise.

This episode of Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny has been brought to you by Oscar Mayer.

Happy Sausage Day, everybody!
Champ
March 11th, 2008 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

In the final panel of Cathy, I’m hoping that she’s standing on a window ledge of a tall building and soon she’ll hurl herself off, putting an end to this strip once and for all. Although I’m sure the author would wring a few more fat jokes out of the large pile of goo Cathy would leave on the pavement. A large pile of goo with a little heart in the middle. Should be a real hoot.
K.T. Slager
March 11th, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

This is the first time I’ve laughed out loud at the comics in I-don’t-know-how-long and it was all because of bad grammar. Beat the crap out of the sun indeed.
Forthillrox
March 11th, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

Haha, Crankshaft’s funny! My own mother slipped in the middle of the street in her neighborhood yesterday morning, banged her head against the pavement and ended up in the hospital with a subdural hematoma. Luckily it didn’t seem to serious, but they kept her overnight for observation and sent her home today. It was scary, I’ll make sure she sees this strip so that she realizes that it’s actually funny!
Ralph Tirebiter
March 11th, 2008 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

Looks to me like Connie is exiting to the funway. Has her husband checked for lumps? Small or large curd?
JP (not Judge Parker)
March 11th, 2008 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

I am not the age of the woman in Crankshaft, but I have fallen on the ice hard a number of times, one time requiring medical attention. During those times, never once did I think, “My friends and family are going to give me such a hard time about this! Haha!” I guess I need the perspective of being elderly and in a potentially life-threatening position for me to find the hilarity in it.

DTM: If Dennis has kicked the sun’s ass once again, does this mean they are in some kind of post-apocalyptic bizarro world already? Is Dennis getting the opportunity to experiment with different situational outcomes a la Run Lola Run? Hmm.
Craig
March 11th, 2008 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

It’s too bad Dennis the Menace is a single-panel strip. Panel two would be Henry leading him out of their room, panel three would be Alice awkwardly half-awake in bed, and panel four would be Henry returning to bed with “Guess what, I beat the son up again” as the punchline (no pun intended). At least, that’s what the little jerk deserves for interrupting his parents’ sleep.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
March 11th, 2008 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

Muffaroo @ 37: Why, it’s the yeast I could do.
tblue
March 11th, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

32. treadwell says Josh owes us a COTW. I think we have one already:

14. BenG says:

Crankshaft: I should say not, considering you just slipped on your eighty year old ass in the middle of an icy walkway in the dead of night without anyone else in sight to rush to your aide and with you surely being too delicate and feeble to get yourself up. Indeed, it seems doubtful that you’ll even get to hear the beginning of it.
Rainbird
March 11th, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

20 Eats Shoots And Leave

Yes, it looks fun, but as someone who has boobs, it would be quite painful. It is not unlike not wearing a bra to jog.

And yet she is smiling.

Perhaps they are not part of her body.
Batman Beatles
March 11th, 2008 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

Cathy: Not only will we have her whining about swimsuits during summer, but we’ll have hilarious moments where Cathy asks Irving if she looks fat. Then awkward wackiness ensues. Though it would be funny if Irving says, “No, the swimsuit doesn’t make you fat. Your fat makes you look fat.”

13 – You’re not the only one. I hear it too.
The Ghost of Jarrod
March 11th, 2008 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

#7 — “Herb And Jamaal needs to watch some Mythbusters.”

Ooh! That would be awesome! I can picture it now:

Panel 1:

Herb: Have you seen the show where the guys show that urban legends aren’t true?

Panel 2:

Jamaal: I haven’t. What’s it about?

Panel 3:

Herb: Well…

Panel 4:

Herb: …it’s a lot like the hotel socialite being a part of the girly troopers.

That’s gold, man! Gold!
sally
March 11th, 2008 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

God, she’s wearing that godawful bun AGAIN! No one under fifty wears a bun every day! MAKE IT STOP!
GazzaLadra
March 11th, 2008 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

Zits: THANK. YOU. This has been haunting me all day. If I don’t concentrate on something specific, that image of Connie’s tit-packets flapping up and down of their own accord makes me wince and wish I could be reaching for something stronger than just a Dr. Pepper. Kill them with fire.
huntingbyrd
March 11th, 2008 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

I don’t know whether to make fun of dennis or zits….oh what the hell i’ll make fun of dennis.But dennis shouldn’t baet up the sun…his fists would catch on fire!besides Dennis is getting less menacing everyday!
huntingbyrd
March 11th, 2008 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

Beat up sorry
Mr. O'Malley
March 11th, 2008 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

My mother was in the hospital from Christmas Day until about two weeks ago as the result of a fall. Not much hilarity ensued until she made friends with some other old ladies in rehab. But then–it was ladies with walkers gone wild! I think she misses it a bit now that she’s back home with my father. But not the hospital food.

Not much of a premise for a comic strip though.
Steve S
March 11th, 2008 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

I look forward to a spinoff comic called Galactus the Menace. “Guess what. I devoured a world again.”
Porcinea Elephantine
March 11th, 2008 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

DtM: “The clocks stopped at 1:17. A long shear of light and then a series of low concussions.”
Ari
March 11th, 2008 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

Josh, the surface of the sun’s only ~10,000 degrees. Dennis the “Menace” indeed.
Poteet
March 11th, 2008 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

Apologies if this is a repeat, but in the Pedantry Patrol Department, there may be an extra “and” in the official Papal Foob comment.

And re Foob, I’m now actually grateful for Granthony’s plastic surgery several months ago, because his new face seems marginally less creepy in closeup than his old face, and I’m desperate.
Fatty Tuna
March 11th, 2008 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

In reverse order, starting in the middle and working my way backwards and forwards with the aid of coconut rum and who knows what:

can’t remeber specific addressee: ever had a moment of peace in a parked car? are you sure?

#7 Ever see “So I MArried A Strange Person”? Heh heh heh I never thought I’d actually find hair stuck to buttered toast tso antalizing.

exception to golf-score style ordering

#51 squids wearing hats? are they made of boat-sinking flash? because that would be very intersting, and i’d like to subscribe to your newsletter

a little shin-bruised up myself. good thing for coffee talk and lymph

i can relate to granny not wanting a MedAlert tag
maybe we’re crone-y old paranaoiacs

with lucky curmudgeoney old solid spines and mirth to spare

mwaahhh
f us
Trixie Belden
March 11th, 2008 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

Welcome back Poteet! Glad to have you back and glad you had a good time in England! Did you happen to visit the Sir John Soane’s Museum? That was one of my favorites.
Poteet
March 11th, 2008 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

CRANKSHAFT — Yak Traks could have prevented this, um, hilarity.
Poteet
March 11th, 2008 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

# 92 Trixie — Thanks, and no, alas. There are so many things I didn’t have time to do. I’m planning to win the lottery and go back for a month or so.
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
March 11th, 2008 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

Humpday observations:

DtM: looks like ol’ Ruff is getting on in years…he’s either beginning to mold, or he’s moving so slowly these days (like a sloth) that algae and lichens and moss is beginning to grow on him.

FC: hmm, even saying this in a whisper doesn’t make it creepy or menacing. Just stupid at a lower volume.

JP: if Abbey gets any more pouty, the hired hand is going to be forced to put her across his knee (cool!).

MW: good lord! Mary having to make her own lunch! The horror!

RMMD: huh. I must’ve missed the week in which Niki’s life was changed. Alcoholic binges do that sometimes.

Yesterday’s Lio: woo hoooooo!

FOOB: Macbeth’s “Tomorrow and tomorrow” speech might be applicable to Mary Worth (who, I believe, dated the Thane of Cawdor briefly), but geez, the ceaseless trudging toward suburban banality reminds me of that.
Either that, or the dinosaurs stomping toward their doom in “Fantasia.”
(With Elly as a pirouetting hippo. Yeah…)
Mr. O'Malley
March 11th, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

Britmudgeons may remember Magnus Pyke, host of a long-running popular science show. He wrote a book entitled Butter Side Up!: or The Delights of Science. (He may be better known nowadays for his cameo appearance in “She Blinded Me with Science”.)

Under everyday circumstances if a piece of bread is dropped from a good height [originally held vertically], say ten or twelve feet, it will tend to turn in the air on to a horizontal plane and then flutter, first one way, then back the other like a leaf floating to the ground. Once again, if the two sides of the slice are marked to identify them, it will be found that it will come to rest as often one way up as the other. With bread-and-butter, however, things are different. The layer of butter makes one slide of the slice heavier than the other as it is suspended on edge before being allowed to drop. When it does start to fall, therefore, there is a tendency for the butter side to fall faster than the dry side; this causes the slice to tip and the ‘falling leaf’ phenomenon to start with the butter side down. A hundred drops, therefore, do not result in the butter side being down fifty times and up fifty times. The ratio will be more like sixty times butter-side down and forty times butter-side up. The more often the experiment is done (assuming that it is done properly) the more firmly will the statistics show that there is a true tendency for bread-and-butter to fall in this way. Of course, the exact ratio will depend on how much butter is spread on each slice.
glutton4punishment
March 11th, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Few things are as romantic as this: Lizthony sitting on the couch with enough distance between them to lead one to believe they might be siblings (and hey, maybe even they are confused–everyone in this strip is starting to look alike), using the word “comfortable” when talking about how they feel when in each other’s company, and the entire phrase: “Divorce?!! We haven’t even talked about marriage!”
Wow. Every little girl’s dream proposal.
Fatty Tuna
March 11th, 2008 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: Kudos and thanks to our resident curmudgeon for bringing another ranking biddie in on the scene to serve young people with a much-needed dose of informed faux-Taoist mirth… do you watch oobie? I am either old or young or scared or both.

p.s. Dennis The Menace just finally loaded on my computer. Huh. Nice shade of slate, “oh no did you check the baby’s package, meh-then, quiet,” blue.
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 12:03 am [Reply]

96. bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[. Did you ever see Allegro non Troppo? It’s basically a parody of Fantasia but the animation is really good in its own right. It didn’t do too well commercially, but it’s available on DVD now, so you should rent or buy a copy. Definitely a cult classic. I think the “march of evolution” at the end of Allegro non Troppo outdoes Fantasia.
Fatty Tuna
March 12th, 2008 at 12:03 am [Reply]

wait, was that ellie, or anthony? I am so confused.. i think i need a projection slide machine and a coterie of beautiful young eow women of asian or island of non-specific descent with wide flanks and willing patience to help me understand this

or maybe just a spanking and collard greens and brush and floss and off to bed before i beat the sun at getting up again
Fatty Tuna
March 12th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

p.s. Bats– i was thinking oh wait was that ellie or anthony before you validated my crazy-girl suspicion. thank you.
Eats Shoots And Leaves
March 12th, 2008 at 12:08 am [Reply]

79 Rainbird: As a fellow boob sporter, I’m not going to elaborate on how I know about the flabbityboobityflabbityboobity sound.
SalvorHardin
March 12th, 2008 at 12:08 am [Reply]

It’s time for Lynne Johnston and Brooke McEldowney to go on a long, long, LONG vacation. I don’t care if they go together. They can go with whomever they like. Whom. Whom.

And by long, I mean forever.
SalvorHardin
March 12th, 2008 at 12:09 am [Reply]

and by Lynne, I mean Lynn. Stupid whiskey, all stupiding me.
Poteet
March 12th, 2008 at 12:12 am [Reply]

# 97 glutton — Thanks for saying that — I was thinking it too. “Liz, I’m so very comfortable here with you that I’m intensely reminded, to the point of real fear, of my former wife.” *sounds of male whimpering*
Frank Parsnip
March 12th, 2008 at 12:13 am [Reply]

~~Zits~~ Tits: She appears to have some very interesting pectoral muscles — while she leans back, she uses them to flippity-flopp those big sacks about with a rapidity usually reseved for the feet of dancing Peanuts characters grooving out to Vince Guaraldi’s theme song. However I think this is more evidence that the mom in this strip is an alien wearing an exoskeleton suit with dodgy motors. And yes, I do want to erase that from my retinas.

H&J: I think the strip would have been more engaging if written in a more typical Herb & Jamaal formula.

Panel 1: (Jamaal reaching around Herb with both arms to butter a piece of toast at kitchen counter)
Herb: “The way that certain objects supposedly fall and hit the ground really makes you think, doesn’t it?”

Panel 2: (Jamaal sets down toast.)
Jamaal: “Well, both buttered toast and cats supposedly land, butter-side- and feet-side-down, respectively.”

Panel 3: (Jamaal hugs Herb with his eyes closed with bliss.)
Herb: “As the great 4th Century physician Isaac Newton once said: ‘Plato is my friend, Aristotle is my friend, but my greatest friend is truth.’ ”
Jamaal: “Sounds a lot like dating.”

Panel 4: (Herb and Jamaal dropping a cat covered in buttered pieces of toast.)
Herb: Ohhhhhhhh yeaaaaaaaaahh!

(OK, that last panel is just what I wish they would do… )
Eats Shoots And Leaves
March 12th, 2008 at 12:18 am [Reply]

Foob: Mar. 12

Gosh, Anthony wonders where they’re going together, where it will all lead.

Pay attention, Antbrain. Everybody else knows where it’s going and we’re sickened by it.
Invisible Me
March 12th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

Mr. O’Malley (or Magnus Pike, to be clearer), since when do heavier things fall faster?
SalvadorDallDidntDallied
March 12th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

#102 Yeah, that flibbity floppedy sound is like way awkward foir everybody and thus dibble to double-dutch doubly annoying.

I can’t remember what else I wanted to say.

i like stupidin stupiding. i think it’s the reason monks brought us all comics in the higgeldy-piggeldy foom fugging first place

i mean, stranger things have happened than cartoon characters getting drunk, or even trapped in blinding magiceuwl furs

just everybody try not to let your cats tie themselves to the toast, cause if you love them they will, so make sure they stand to get a kick out of it

and move the kitty litter, dammit!!!
BigTed
March 12th, 2008 at 12:27 am [Reply]

It’s weird, but the black square behind Cathy seriously seems to be some abstract depiction of her moods. It grows and grows — in the third panel, it actually develops teeth! Then it goes away for the short period in which Irving is there, though maybe it’s just hiding till he leaves. (Just like her depression, probably.) Finally, in the last panel it’s large enough to swallow her up entirely, engulfing her in a dark void of broken diets, unwalked dogs, and a rapidly declining newspaper business.
mumbles
March 12th, 2008 at 12:30 am [Reply]

#97: Amen, glutton4punishment, I had the same reaction. The slumped, defeated shoulders of Anthony just scream “love, exciting and new” to me.

MW: YES! Mary was a child prostitute! (High fives Curmudgeonites in triumph.)

‘Shaft: It’s all Netflix’s fault.

FW: The school team’s name is the Scapegoats? How did I miss that? Jeez Batiuk, that’s not even trying anymore.
True Fable
March 12th, 2008 at 12:48 am [Reply]

Cathy (Must Die!) So this is why Cathy is so glorified? Because she captures the essence of the Fucking Laziest People all over the world? Jeez.
FC There’s no such thing as a second scoop in EncephloWorld.
FBoFW Gee, yeah, these two are wildly in love, all right. Look how close they are seated. Such a scandal! And he’s wondering where it will lead, instead of suggesting where it might go this evening after a romantic dinner while Francie’s at his mother’s house for the evening. And wow, what a line, talking about surviving divorce when he has been taking it too slow to talk about marriage!
You can tell Anthony’s last name isn’t Fable. We’d disown the dumb bastard in a heartbeat.
FW Now THIS is the kind of comic strip FW ought to be, rather than about that Prick Funky or CancerLisa.
GT “Skips the Bucket”. Anyone want to translate? Does it mean, “turns down a hand job”?
Luann Brad’s Finally Got Balls, Part Two.
MT Why, it’s Bill Ellis, editor of Woods and Wildlife Magazine! I’ll bet it’s located in a City, and is Sponsoring an Awards Program for Children! And we’ve only got another couple of days to drive home this fact before the designated Bearded Face of Evil shows up to threaten the proceedings!
Marmadick I never saw my Danes open a door with their paw before, but I guess I didn’t look at the right time.
MW “Father knocked up Mother and cut out on us, so Mother worked the streets while I ran around like an urchin!” Boy, I’m going to enjoy the next few weeks. And look at Toeby in panel two – almost doesn’t look like her, does it? Yep, I’m going to have fun!
PBS “That popular French place downtown”? Is this a riff on Herb & Jamal?
Phantom hey, that’s Groves! Glad to see the ignored cast of Judge Parker is finding work over here.
RMMD Go into debt, May! Thick, heavy, soul-crushing debt in a money pit you’ll quickly regret!
SFx Weber Rules! Fish Skeleton sighting! Dude…If you’d only add a goat. :-)
Fred P.
March 12th, 2008 at 12:49 am [Reply]

Poteet, I suppose now isn’t the time to mention it, when one goes to the UK it is always a good idea to pick up a copy of the Beano (a cartoon tabloid) which features an actually menacing Dennis the Menace (no relation to his American namesake) with his dog Gnasher, who is about a million percent more baddass than Ruff. (I know I know a million percent of zero…)

I hope they haven’t gone and cutesified that DTM as well.

111 mumbles- Its been the scapegoats for as long as I can recall… I guess that means Batuik’s not been trying since the mid-80’s. Sounds plausible
Maughta
March 12th, 2008 at 12:56 am [Reply]

BC REALLY needs to stop making me laugh. My world is surreal enough as it is.
Farley\'s Revenge
March 12th, 2008 at 1:05 am [Reply]

FBOFW: I thought Anthony was going to take Elizabeth to dinner? I mean, I know she must be a cheap date and all but to not even feed her in lieu of talking about divorce…man, that’s low, even for Anthony.

What’s up with sitting so far apart on the sofa? The only way those two could get any farther apart is if they were in different countries. Oh, that we should be so fortunate.

PBS: *snerk*I love this strip.
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 1:13 am [Reply]

108. Invisible Me. If you took a hang glider and attached an anvil to one side (sort of a Wile E. Coyote experiment), which side would you expect to hit the ground first?

He’s saying from the initial vertical position the heavier side has a tendency to fall faster because the additional weight overcomes the air resistance—that causes the fluttering flight path—more effectively.

Not to be compared with Galileo dropping cannon balls from the Tower of Pisa, because in that case the aerodynamic qualities were roughly the same.
Chip
March 12th, 2008 at 1:19 am [Reply]

We’ve all heard it before: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_cat_paradox
Cafangdra
March 12th, 2008 at 1:21 am [Reply]

Thank you for being upset by today’s Zits for the same reason I was so, so upset by today’s Zits.
Arglebargle
March 12th, 2008 at 1:51 am [Reply]

RMMD: I cannot effing believe that in today’s economic state, this strip is presenting a fantasy about the Joy Of Home Ownership.

Luann: I cannot effing believe that this isn’t some elaborate April Fool’s Joke. (Or that no one’s commented on the Girl Scout badge. Or that Brad actually asked, “Am I dirt?” YES.)

Zits: I cannot effing believe that Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Week ended without Walt (AKA Papa Zits) showing us his hairy ta-tas in action. You know they’s grapefruits.
Ed Minchau
March 12th, 2008 at 2:10 am [Reply]

#114: It gets worse. Brad deGroot just asked Toni Daytona out. I’m pretty sure that sound you hear is the fabric of spacetime being rent asunder.
TB Tabby
March 12th, 2008 at 2:20 am [Reply]

Haven’t posted here in a while, partially because I haven’t been able to come up with any decent snark, and partially because of a little thing called Super Smash Bros. Brawl. But I’ll do my best.

9CL: I’d like to remind everyone that at no point did they consider how a nasal passage full or quarters affects his ability to play the cello.

BStarr: Somewhere, Brooke McEldowney is reading this and weeping.

FC: Fine, but please don’t tell me what flavor ice cream that color is supposed to be.

MC: Ashley’s Mike Patterson impression is dead-on, right down to the reaction it inspires.

RMMD: “And use whatever’s left over to finally get a sane haircut! What’s cool on DBZ isn’t necessarily cool in real life!”
Arglebargle
March 12th, 2008 at 2:23 am [Reply]

Well, Zits may have ended Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Week several days prematurely, but at least Elderberries is there to take up the slack a bit.
Lyppy
March 12th, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

Well, splayed out on the ice, cell phone jjjuusst out of reach. Glasses out there too. People kindly step around her. Cold too.
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

Site is down? My posts aren’t posting.
Frank Parsnip
March 12th, 2008 at 2:39 am [Reply]

A3G: The good news is that Alan is going to use those paints to be an artist. The bad news is that he’s a performance artist. Get ready for Alan, covered in body paints to run about New York trying to find a buyer.

MW: It would be so awesome if her long-lost dad would show up now at Charterstone!

Jugs Parker: Abbey continues not to get a real response to her questions from Dan, whose existence as a holographic projection from a nearby R2 unit is verified by the crappy horizontal lines all over his body.

MT: NEWSFLASH! Mark Trail steps out wearing something other than his usual tan S.A. shirt-and-pants combo. That aside, it’s interesting to see Bill Ellis, the editor of “Woods and Wildlife” magazine privately extoll the wonders of the big city. “Yeah, Mark, you really need to get out to the city more often… frickin’ bugs and trees really freak me out! But, hey, there’s saps who continue to read the pablum we crank out, so I guess having you out in the sticks isn’t half bad!”

Funky Pantysniffer: The way everybody’s looking at the shot with shock all over their faces, this could be how Batiuk is building suspense. But knowing how this strip has always worked out in the past, we’ll find out in a week that instead of throwing the basketball Summer has inadvertently grabbed and thrown a teammate’s head across the gym.

Sex Organ, M.D.: As much as Sam Driver looked like a complete dick as he sent Busty Duncan on her way at the winery, nothing compares to the complete shit-eating grin on Rex Morgan in panel 2. The tears on her eyes come from the knowledge that she’s far more likely to snort or inject whatever she buys with the check.

Mallard Fillmore: I don’t think anyone would complain about Tinsley portraying women as funny-looking. Badly drawn, maybe. Just saying that probably about 99% of the time he purports to draw a famous person in his strip it is unidentifiable as such.
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 2:49 am [Reply]

Lio’s friend has been here on his white horse Binky.
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 2:53 am [Reply]

This is my 5th attempt at posting.
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 2:56 am [Reply]

Posts just seem to disappear into a void and I get a blank page in response.
True Fable
March 12th, 2008 at 2:56 am [Reply]

I think Mary Worth’s Drawn Out Flashback Prep is bee-grinding at its most crunchworthy.

I don’t think we can call Granthony’s impending coronation into Foobdom as bee-grinding since things are still lurching along to the Settleocalypse. It’s more like bee chum, it’s smelly and time consuming but it is leading somewhere eventually.
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 2:59 am [Reply]

How is it True Fable can post things and I can’t?
True Fable
March 12th, 2008 at 3:02 am [Reply]

#129 Mr. O’Malley – I went through something like that about a week ago. Don’t know what I can tell you, buddy, except copy your snark and keep trying.
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 3:02 am [Reply]

Another try at posting and I’m back at the white screen of death yet another time. This must be around 10 times I have tried to post and nothing has worked yet.
Selesen
March 12th, 2008 at 3:03 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t “how to walk on ice” actually “do not walk on ice if at all possible”? And where would she be late at night where walking on what looks to be rather thick ice is completely unavoidable?
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 3:07 am [Reply]

I e-mailed my snark from my Vista system to my XP system.

Will it work now? Let’s see…

Already rather puzzling. Let’s see what happens now.

This is around attempt number 15. I’m going to take out all the HTML tags and see if it works any better.

EC: A friend of ours used to volunteer in jail. He pushed the book cart around. A little old Jewish man who once marched with Dr. King in Selma. He would get on everyone’s case—”Does your mother know you’re here?” All the guys loved him. They used to tell him “if anything happens in here we’ll look after you!”

FW: A bit more suspense than you get in GT, but is this turning into a sports strip? And the team is the Lady Scapegoats? The school seems to have an image problem of some kind. Although UC Santa Cruz seems to be managing with the Click this URL “http://www.ucsc.edu/about/campus_mascot.asp” Banana Slugs.

JP: A logical explanation—yes, there must be. Daleks have taken over the chicken farm!

MW: Show, don’t tell!

MC: Funnier than a barrel of Pattersons!

Popeye: Youse guys are gettin’ me hooked on this.

RMMD: 20 grand. What kind of a home will that buy? Is Rex suggesting they should get a circus tent? Maybe he will let them put it up behind his house.

GT: “Skips the bucket” means “stays alive”?

Pluggers: If he orders the smoked chicken, I’m calling cannibalism!
True Fable
March 12th, 2008 at 3:10 am [Reply]

#133 Mr. O’Malley – Hmm. Your POSTS were bee-grinding themselves. While this might frustrate you, it also makes you a candidate for Buzzer of the Month. :-) It might be small potatoes in comparison to posting but it’s the best I can scrounge up.
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 3:18 am [Reply]

135. So the answer seems to be—use HTML tags and your post is destined for øblivioñ.

HTML speçial charáctèrs åre still ÖK.

136. True Fable. Buzzer of the month—well, it’s the right time of year for small potatoes. Any fresh vegetables are alright now. Actually I suppose my posts were <B>-grinding.
True Fable
March 12th, 2008 at 3:18 am [Reply]

#135 Mr. O’Malley – Vista? Well, there’s your problem! If you so much as look cockeyed at a new Vista system, it eats itself and poops out a ground bee.

Seriously, I hit ‘preview’ and I also get a white screen and a warning, so I hit cancel and it straightens out. I don’t have Vista though. It might be just some odd CC server glitch again.
True Fable
March 12th, 2008 at 3:39 am [Reply]

Lynnie Baby,

You can try until Doomsday or until the Expos win the Series, baby, but you can’t convince me that your Anthony Caine character is anything but a manipulative bastard who is simply looking for a figurehead to babysit his caged spawn. Then again, any young woman who would settle for a guy who is old before his time and has a record of lying at the altar, is probably right up his alley.

Which begs the question, Shall I call the Orkin Man to extract that giant bug up your ass, Lynnie? Because hell FIRE, my little camera mugging Cannuck, you’ve been grinding Paul Bunyan’s axe so long it’s just a penknife now.

I can see that any amount of my legendary Fable Love would be wasted on such a man-hating grouch such as your own dessicated self, O Gnome of the North, so pardon the hell out of me while I congratulate myself of calling it.

It’s such a shame that you haven’t given Elizabeth one last fling and possibly a first orgasm, with a redhot Fable representative who actually has the ability to cuddle and canoodle the way a man SHOULD. But if all you’ve ever known are pasty Canadian yes-men cheaters, then I guess you gotta go with what you know.

Truman A. Fable
The One that Got Away, at a Dead Run
Mr. "Backslash" O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 3:42 am [Reply]

138. True Fable. It doesn’t seem to me that it’s a Vista problem, I had almost as much difficulty with XP. I’m more inclined to think it’s a server problem.

Vista, yeah, I always distrust it first, but sometimes it could be something else.

SHUTTING DOWN THIS SYSTEM. ADDITIONAL CHARGES MAY BE MADE TO YOUR CREDIT CARD FOR ITEMS I THINK YOU WOULD ENJOY.
Frank Parsnip
March 12th, 2008 at 3:58 am [Reply]

Reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer started slapping the side of the TV during some PBS program and yelling: “Be funny!”

After all those posts about computer problems, I’m surprised my own computer doesn’t have damage from my pimp-slappin’ backhand.
Mr. O'Malley
March 12th, 2008 at 4:26 am [Reply]

I tried slapping my newspaper like that but it didn’t work.
Trilobite
March 12th, 2008 at 4:30 am [Reply]

#140 Mr. O’Malley — Trying to embed a link to a website in your post will kill it deader than Sam Driver’s sex life, most of the time. (For example, you can link to a single comic’s page on chron.com, but you can’t link to a customized build-a-comic page.)

At least, that was my conclusion when I was having trouble posting several weeks back. If I put in a link to a page with all the comics I was snarking on, it wouldn’t even preview the comment; if I took out the link, it would preview and post normally.
Frank Parsnip
March 12th, 2008 at 4:43 am [Reply]

Mr. O’Malley (142): I think it was a Garrison Keillor special that Lisa Simpson was watching, and, yes, the only result Homer got was to break the TV.
Frank Parsnip
March 12th, 2008 at 5:26 am [Reply]

~~Zits~~ Tits: Poltergeist activity within their household involving a “randy” ghost? Just trying to make sense of that awful picture.
John C Fremont
March 12th, 2008 at 5:31 am [Reply]

# 144 – “Be (slam!) more (slam!) funny!!”

Phantom – Okay, I chuckled when I saw “The Lone Ranger” on the hotel detective’s TV. And I’m sorry. I’ll try not to let that happen again.
Shoshi
March 12th, 2008 at 5:33 am [Reply]

FOOB–Oh, this scene is just so unbearably romantic and passionate! It’s the stuff of fantasies, isn’t it? How could any woman resist?
:-P
Shoshi
March 12th, 2008 at 5:42 am [Reply]

MW–Ah, geez, now someone’s dumped a barrel of tar on THEIR heads! But I must say the story is shaping up to have a lot of interesting possibilities!
Godzooky
March 12th, 2008 at 6:29 am [Reply]

RMMD ( http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080312&name=Rex_Morgan ): Mr. O’Malley might be over-estimating the type of home that check will buy. Once the IRS and the state tax department take their cuts, at least one-third will be gone. (By the way, the scholarship is probably also taxable) The most the balance is good for is maybe a 10% down payment, depending how depressed home prices are wherever May shops. (New Orleans?)

Then comes the big catch: Qualifying for a mortgage (a former junkie’s credit rating is likely not so high). That will force her to get one of those sub-prime loans and lead to problems making the monthly payments and, possibly, homelessness yet again.

Suggest getting a pup tent and calling it a day.

P.S. Mr. O’Malley and others are correct about CC not accepting embedded links right now. Until fixed, we’ll have to settle for visible links.
Godzooky
March 12th, 2008 at 6:46 am [Reply]

MW ( http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080312&name=Mary_Worth ): Tell-Don’t-Show Mary inadvertently reveals that not only did Dad run off, but Mom was so busy gold-digging her way to a new sugar daddy, she couldn’t be bothered lining up a baby-sitter.

Since Moy and Giella have decided not to show, maybe the more creative types here can fill in: How about depictions of Uncle Lumpy’s Colonial times scenario ( http://joshreads.com/?p=1471 ) or Joe Btfsplk’s pre-historic ( http://joshreads.com/?p=1471#comment-454771 ) one?
Sheilagh
March 12th, 2008 at 6:47 am [Reply]

Is Spider-Man making ANY sense? Krandis wants to use MJ as bait to lure Spider-Man, so the first thing he does is — break her tracer bracelet, that would have led Spider-Man right TO her? Not to mention, the whole “bait” thing is quite a turn-around — he was certainly acting like a lovesick puppy for several weeks there.

I can only conclude that the writers got so bored with this dumb story-line that they completely forgot the details.
Niall
March 12th, 2008 at 6:54 am [Reply]

A few things worth mentioning…

DT: As usual, after weeks of standing still, now he moves way too fast without explaining anything. Not even saying it’s a hunch or anything. What are you going to put on that warrant?? “Suspicion of bad taste”?

FC: kiiillllll

Garfield: …did Jon just pwn Garfield???

MC: Another one full of Win today. Great actually subtle Munch reference, too. And Violet should smile more. (I gather Jamus has seen her smile before, though.)

RM: … $20k buys a home? Where?? And if it did, what about the taxes every year, and upkeep, and all ancillary costs?

SFx: Max wants himself some seagull. Or fish. He’s not rescuing that dumb pink thing. Also: Fish Skeleton!
Nil Zed
March 12th, 2008 at 6:55 am [Reply]

113 Fred P re: Beano and actually menacing Dennis

long after logging off, I remembered Beano and Dennis.

that Dennis always looks like a teenager drawn by one of the Mad magazine artists. Menacing teens aren’t as amusing as menacing pre-schoolers. Potentially anyway.
Old School Allie Cat
March 12th, 2008 at 7:22 am [Reply]

FOOB – “Yes, Mom, it was so romantic! Anthony and I were talking about failed relationships and divorce, and he popped the question right then and there!”

PBS – As a member of the service industry for two decades, this one is possibly my new favorite PBS ever.

Lesser snarked comics:

This week’s K Chronicles showed Marvin that “Belly Laffs” can actually be funny –

http://www.salon.com/comics/knig/2008/03/12/knig/
Wanders
March 12th, 2008 at 7:23 am [Reply]

MW: If Toby gets any younger, Professor Ian Cameron is going to start looking foolish… oh, wait… too late.
blastoff
March 12th, 2008 at 7:41 am [Reply]

Mary get-the-hell-out-of-Vietnam Worth had a rough childhood?!?
Mary “let’s get out of here! (at the homeless shelter with her drunk, porcelain bird breaking friend)” Worth had a rough childhood?!?
Mary “capisce?” Worth had a rough childhood?

No way.

I can only assume that this means Mrs. Worth had breakfast an hour late one day b/c her mother had to run to the grocery store to buy milk since they were out.
Godzooky
March 12th, 2008 at 7:43 am [Reply]

#151 Sheilagh re: S-M ( http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080312&name=Spiderman ): You forgot to mention Krandis’ brilliant move of sending out a booby-trapped remote-control car with a fake arm and gun that stick out the window while playing a recording of gunshots ( http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080221&name=Spiderman ), designed to lure Spider-Man, who just happened to be swinging around that neighborhood. Since Krandis and Persuader were already waiting for MJ at that time, who controlled the car, and, if Krandis expected it to blow up Spidey and he has no other interest, why bother kidnapping MJ, much less destroy the tracer?

(And yet more minutes and brain cells wasted on newspaper Spider-Man. Much like Spidey’s creators, I give up. Time for work, anyway.)
gleeb
March 12th, 2008 at 7:45 am [Reply]

Bizarro: “w/ Capozzola”? Don’t go trying to blame this tired old gag on someone else, Danny-boy. Although, assuming it’s Michael Capozzola, his work does seem to include a lot of lame puns and the like.

Cleats: Having read this Jim Henson’s Tank McNamara Babies for about two months now, I can definately say I want to slap all this kids. How long can they possibly blather about watching some guy shoot free throws?

Curtis: You know, the width of your ass is probably to some extent genetic. Laugh that one off.

St Dilbert Passion: Hay-soos also seems to have given Wally magical sleeves, that retract when there’s any chance of spilling coffee on them. Since when is Adams such a big Christian anyway? I thought he just believed in some non-specific magical thinking nonsense.

‘bean: Drawing things out to provide pointless suspense? That’s Dick Tracy’s shtick!

Thorp: Well, a half-full house. Since he wasn’t responsible for the whole win, his teammates have kidnapped half of his siblings.

H&J: You know, in certain Zen Buddhist sects, it’s one brother’s job to stalk through the meditation hall, sharply whacking those whose fall asleep.

Abbey Parker, unlicensed poultry inspector: Obviously they’ve bred a strain of mutant, callous chickens, who are not only able to help raise their relations for slaughter, but have no moral qualms about it.
AtomicDog of The Colonial Marine Patrol
March 12th, 2008 at 7:48 am [Reply]

#18 Vice-Pope Chris: That, or taking off and nuking him from orbit.

Wait a minute. this is Blandthony we’re talking about here.
Game over, man! Game Over!
man behind the curtain
March 12th, 2008 at 7:50 am [Reply]

MW — If you want to see scenes from Mary’s childhood just go see “10,000 BC”
Andsheewas
March 12th, 2008 at 7:51 am [Reply]

Oh, Liz, Anthony doesn’t even understand the proper use of whom. You have enough problems as is. You can’t succumb to the bad-boy glamor of poorly used grammar.

Unless the rules are different in Canada, in which case, ignore this whole comment.
smacky
March 12th, 2008 at 7:51 am [Reply]

FOOB: Until these kids get the nerve to MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT, nothing will ever happen. What is with all the sideways glances? No one is being the least bit sly!

Can Lynne not draw the back of someone’s head?
velvet goldmine
March 12th, 2008 at 7:56 am [Reply]

About the 3/12 FW — no, not Funky Winkerbean….Fancy Worth!

Mama dabbed a little bit of perfume on my neck
And she kissed my cheek
Then I saw the tears wellin’ up in her troubled eyes
When she started to speak
She looked at a pitiful shack
And then she looked at me and took a ragged breath
She said your pa’s run off and I’m real sick
And the baby’s gonna starve to death

From the pitiful shack to Charterstone! She done real good for herself!
Randall
March 12th, 2008 at 7:57 am [Reply]

Luann: Toni got so excited by Brad asking her, her heart sucked in her left boob!
JonnyT
March 12th, 2008 at 7:58 am [Reply]

Zits made me laugh out loud yesterday. I thought the visual of Connie’s flappy pendulous breasts was a riot. Disturbing if a teenage boy is bearing witness to his mother’s unhindered lady humps twisting in the wind, but I couldn’t keep from laughing on the subway ride to work.
Mamzelle Hepzibah
March 12th, 2008 at 8:09 am [Reply]

I believe the toaster in Herb and Jamaal is channeling Kogepan, the famously irritated burnt bun (”I thought to myself that my life as a bread was very meaningless”).
Robert
March 12th, 2008 at 8:21 am [Reply]

Liz is the only woman I’ve ever run into who seems remarkably pleased by a display of spinelessness and no possessiveness whatsoever. Not that Anthony should have her house bugged, but at least show that, y’know, you’d care if she ditched you. Being supportive of yourself being ditched is not top wooing behaviour. Were Anthony to reveal Warren in the backseat under a tarp with a ballgag on that would be excessive, and under no circumstances should he slap Liz around. Unless they’re into that.
Elmo Sweeney
March 12th, 2008 at 8:27 am [Reply]

Hey, Cathy, you know why you waited, like, 20 years before settling for Irving? Because he’s willing to imply that you’re a flabby beast, without the slightest hesitation.

Aack, indeed.
Squirrelntherain
March 12th, 2008 at 8:28 am [Reply]

Zits:
She’s practicing for her dance class? Isn’t that what the class is for?
Elmo Sweeney
March 12th, 2008 at 8:29 am [Reply]

That’s our Granthony, all right. Go for the prissiest possible grammatical usage, and get it wrong.
Burning Prairie
March 12th, 2008 at 8:48 am [Reply]

Crankshaft-because nothing says Teh Funny like a fractured hip!
Old School Allie Cat
March 12th, 2008 at 8:48 am [Reply]

#167 – Robert – Liz and Blandthony’s safe word is “Ouch”.
The Divine O’F
March 12th, 2008 at 8:56 am [Reply]

9CL: I have not read this strip in months, because it got so annoying. So imagine my complete puzzlement upon reading today’s strip. I don’t even WANT to know what came before. I think I’ll leave it for another six months and hope that the next one is as batshit-insanely baffling as today’s.
Tracer Bullet
March 12th, 2008 at 8:59 am [Reply]

RMMD: We’ve secretly replaced Rex with Fred McMurray, star of stage and screen. Let’s see if anyone notices. Other than Niki, who can sit comfortably for the first time in months.
Shoshi
March 12th, 2008 at 9:00 am [Reply]

161 Andsheewas – I don’t understand what your complaint is about his use of “whom”. He said, “I want you to be sure about what you want…and whom.” In other words, “I want you to be sure about whom you want.” “Whom” in this case is the object of the verb “to want”.
gkl
March 12th, 2008 at 9:04 am [Reply]

MW: Ah, Mary Worth: Where feminism really needs a man to take care of it.

GT: A full house? The three queens is Andrew’s own business, but I am going to have to protest the pair of underage deuces.

GA: Today’s strip is an example of why I follow this strip. It’s not exactly good, but it’s delightfully audacious in its badness. Like Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl.”

MT: I thought that nothing could be less exciting than a children’s essay contest, but it turns out, talking about said essay contest really fits the bill.
Chelsea
March 12th, 2008 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Anyone else think Connie’s breasts looks strangely like Dr. Zoidberg’s mouth? Just wondering…
Professor Fate
March 12th, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]

FOOB: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! The nameless horror is named!

And as others have pointed out – what passion what romance – why it’s right up there with Brett carrying Scarlet up the stairs in Gone With the Wind.

yetch.
Certified Christian
March 12th, 2008 at 9:22 am [Reply]

Zits: Between the strip with Connie’s boobles and the one a while back with Walt trimming his body hair, I just hope we don’t have one coming up soon with Walt dancing around to some “Moby Grape” song in his boxer shorts with his junk doing the old floppity-babbity-floppity-babbity.
Tonio
March 12th, 2008 at 9:26 am [Reply]

In the Dennis vs. Sol steelcage death match, my money is on the kid. I
Patrick
March 12th, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: There is something in Mary’s tale that doesn’t seem to ring true. Not that sort of thing doesn’t happen everyday, it’s just when it comes out of Mary Worth’s mouth it seems completely bogus.

FOOB:Blandthony is actually being sensible. Amazing. If I were Lizardbreath, this is the perfect opportunity to run as fast as I can in the other direction while I still had a chance for a life of something other than mediocrity.

RMMD: Please make it stop! You might be able to buy a used double wide trailer for 20K, but you are not going to buy a house fit to live in for that. I mark my calendar for the first time I thought RMMD was genuinely if unintentionally funny.
Rainbird
March 12th, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

126 Frank Parsnip

Mary’s father, if he exists, would be in, what, his 100s? How old is Mary anyway, in her 70s? Boy, and unwed mother, or even a divorced mother in those days would have been a horrible stigma. No wonder Mary is the Bitch she is today.

And does that mean she is trying to make sure that everyone else has as horrible a life as she did?
Shoshi
March 12th, 2008 at 9:41 am [Reply]

Anyway, Josh, we know that Dennis didn’t DESTROY the sun when he beat it up, because he says he did it AGAIN. So he obviously just gave it a drubbing. (I know Baltimore is a pretty tough town, but beating up does not *always* equal killing.)
Nil Zed
March 12th, 2008 at 9:52 am [Reply]

158 Gleeb
re: St. Dilberts Passion

I don’t think Hay-soos is exactly representing the view of the devoted faithfull of any branch of christianity, so no worries. oh, look, another thread!
Bassogap
March 12th, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

#10 (Bryan) — “Swingers. As in ‘to swing’.”

Luann — I’m betting the Captain was talking about his date with “Tony”, the union steward, and Brad overheard it as “Toni”. And Brad doesn’t need to grow a pair…Toni has plenty for their relationship. I bet the safeword will be “firetruck”.

Foob — after reading this strip since Mike and Liz were little, back when Farley was still young, I just can’t do it any longer. I’m done.

Dilbert — joke would have been better if it’d been 30 shares, instead of 40. Still a great thread.

Frazz — in and out, day after day, this is just a well-written strip.
DAS
March 12th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

Is Blanthony secretly part of the Funky Winkerbean universe? The way he smirks makes me suspicious …

Anyway, thanks … since everyone keeps mentioning this:

Meanwhile, Anthony is driving ever closer to the secluded clearing where he disposes of the bodies.

I now have this song stuck in my head.
Paul1963
March 12th, 2008 at 10:31 am [Reply]

#37 and 49–the character making toast and ancient jokes in Herb & Jamaal is Herb’s daughter, Uhuru (it should be “Uhura,” but apparently neither Herb’s “Bible-thumping Trekkie” mother-in-law, nor the artist who created her, nor anyone in charge of proofreading at the syndicate, knew the correct spelling of the Star Trek character’s name).

Gasoline Alley–on the one hand, it’s nice to finally see the couple two generations of Wallets have been yammering about for two weeks. On the other, I am absolutely baffled as to how these two characters could even have met, let alone stay together long enough to get engaged. This isn’t even a Sam-and-Diane relationship, it’s more like Frasier-and-Carla.
Paul1963
March 12th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

Oh, yeah, Luann–How the hell did Brad manage to grow up with a younger sister and all her friends around all the time and never see a Girl Scout emblem? Greg Evans obviously thinks everyone reading the strip will immediately recognize that badge for what it is, and yet Brad is completely clueless? Did the DeGroots never buy Girl Scout cookies? Were none of Luann’s friends scouts? What the hell?

Of course, I’m 99% sure TJ knows exactly what the badge is, and is just being a dick.
Tonio
March 12th, 2008 at 10:40 am [Reply]

#187 – Uhuru is the Swahili word for freedom. Star Trek simply feminized the spelling for the character’s name. In the comic strip, perhaps Herb wanted his daughter to have a name that evoked both freedom and African identity.
kingklash
March 12th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

All I know, is when I saw the multi-booble-bobble, is I actually heard the sound of two speed bags getting pummeled. Bappity-bappity-bappity-bop!
Lou Shumaker
March 12th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

Zits: Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching the DVDs lately, but Connie’s tits in that panel remind me more of Doctor Zoidberg from Futurama.
Anonymous
March 12th, 2008 at 11:58 am [Reply]

29–How would some of the other comic strips read were they to be mis-translated into other foreign languages? (I keep thinking about some of the infamous blunders as the Chevrolet Nova which was roughly translated as “doesn’t go” and the Braniff Airways jets that had leather seats, which were translated as “Fly naked”.)
Robert
March 12th, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

172 – Old School Allie Cat: I always kind of inferred from the tone of the strip that Liz’s preferred safe word would be “mom.” Which lends considerable elan to many scenes from years ago between Liz and Michael. I see Anthony as preferring something more like “weltschmerz” to show how erudite he is and how deep his feelings are when Thérèse’s lash became too much for his lilly white flesh.
Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
March 12th, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

#120 Arglebargle: Keep in mind that this particular strip was probably written during the housing bubble, five years ago….
Paul1963
March 12th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

#189 Tonio–That may be why Bentley spelled it that way. I remember when Herb & Jamaal started, though, and I distinctly remember Herb saying something like “It’s bad enough we let that Bible-thumping trekkie name our kids…” and then having to tell Ezekiel to “quit bothering Uhuru.” That was the punchline, that the “Bible-thumping trekkie” made her daughter and son-in-law give their son a name out of the Bible and their daughter a name from Star Trek.

Mary Worth: How bad do things have to be when an artist forgets how to draw one of the regular characters in his strip? In that second panel, it looks like Tobie (Toby? Tobey?) was passed out in her trailer, so they shot the scene with her stand-in.
Arglebargle
March 12th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

188 Paul1963: I continue to insist that the only way Luann’s current “story” makes sense (well, some sense, anyway) is if the Captain, Toni, and TJ are working together to pull an elaborate April Fools’ joke on Brad.

Toni will laugh at Brad’s humiliation, then berate him for feeling humiliated, then give him a peck on the cheek to lock his testicles back into her purse.

Then Toni will meet up with Lizardbreath and they’ll go off to attend Marilyn Quayle’s “Keep Your Whiny Weiner On A Short Leash” symposium.

…But yeah, Evans thinks his readers are fools. There’s no other explanation for that.
Ham Gravy
March 12th, 2008 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

Her bosoms? Nice.
Mountain Mama
March 12th, 2008 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

More Bible-thumping Trekkie, mule!
Harold, Garfield Single minus Christian
March 12th, 2008 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

Next: “Dennis the Menace” is replaced with a single-panel series of “A Pail of Air.”
doug rogers
March 12th, 2008 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

Dennis: Wow! You should see what the neighbours are doing! And you guys are just sleeping!
leathermessiah
March 13th, 2008 at 1:28 am [Reply]

The Blandthony/Liz proposal is entirely emblematic of their relationship as a whole: vile, nauseating, soul-crushing, and yet simultaneously mind-bogglingly dull.
Arglebargle
March 13th, 2008 at 2:50 am [Reply]

Luann: Okay, looks like I was wrong about the April Fool’s joke involving the Cap was mistaken (although my first theory–that he was taking “Tony” and Evans just wrote it “Toni” to lie to his readers–was correct).

So, as I said above, this doesn’t make a lick of sense. Unless Toni, exclusively armed with this knowledge, makes it an April Fools’ joke. After all, she’s spent her entire comic-strip career playing mind games with Brad…

It’s sad when you’re writing a better story that the guy actually doing the strip.

Zits: AAAAAAAH! THERE THEY ARE AGAIN!!

No, she’s not dancing. But I’ll never be able to look at her the same way ever again…
Arglebargle
March 13th, 2008 at 2:52 am [Reply]

D’oh! Let me say that first part again:

Luann: Okay, looks like my theory about the April Fool’s joke involving the Cap was mistaken (although my first theory–that he was taking “Tony” and Evans just wrote it “Toni” to lie to his readers–was correct).

That’s better. Now I don’t look so sputid.
Heather
March 13th, 2008 at 5:15 am [Reply]

Today’s FOOB: You go, Liz! You settle for that bland schmuck who thinks you’ll make a good “partner!” YEAH!
dale
March 13th, 2008 at 9:57 am [Reply]

Arglebargle – Luann

Toni is what Brad heard. We don’t really know what the captain said.
He could have been talking about Toni and the food drive, his date for the dance,or the guy who fixes his car.
Hasty Penguin
March 13th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

This would be an opportune time for Crankshaft to walk by laughing.
Sobek
March 13th, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

DtM: “Guess what. I beat ~~the~~ your ~~sun~~ son up again.” Now it’s menacing.
Carly
March 13th, 2008 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

Old lady = my grandma.

H&J – what, it’s not even required that cartoonists write their own jokes anymore?

This may seem on the surface to be more run-of-the-mill submenacing, but what if by “I beat the sun up again” Dennis means not “I woke up before sunrise” but “I bested the sun in hand-to-hand combat”?

Sadly, I read it the more menacing way first. Then I had to stop and think, because that made no sense.
YetAnotherScienceNitpicker
March 15th, 2008 at 12:45 am [Reply]

Adding to what others have said, the temperature of the Earth doesn’t just come from the sun, but also internally from the nuclear decay of radioactive metals in the Earth’s core, uranium and such. So even without sunlight it would stay somewhat warm underground for a while.
Qripserolly-bolly-poli
March 18th, 2008 at 4:34 am [Reply]

Freud done did did hid what he want to did done done did done did did did did did did hisself a good ma shoe job…I myself happen to be borderlinely restrainable eana aimiable E anal impressive. When I don’t find that the ass gnomes have secreted the fritzy mettle-detector off to arcane corners of the “truly maybe better for its welfare” unkown, if an utterly every other beseeching huggy worker’s world, waiting for the sexual real agrolution, so baby better start plantin-a trees and living mouse to mutt ther’s worlds of one-on-one one-to-one, or one-two-three on on-one count backwards, one-off-one-on not all necessarily all one on now n’ laters suck or are they all sucked off now keep on your unit on on you are one (if that is burning well beyond a nine, health after all is really wealth) or one-on-one (-on-one-on-one-on-one-oh-one-oh-one-on-one-no winston ending- one-on-one-on-one-oh-one-oh-one-oh-one-oh-one-oh-one-oh-one-oh-one-oh-one-oh-one-oh-one-oh-one)

Pageantry can be quite maddening and ridiculously destructive trite and outsourced esp. when choreography is so frequently unrehearsed and lines of pathway bungled and/or given to misinterpretation, injury and calumny of the over or meekly totalitarianistically invested

But I mean, what are we gonna do, say no? everybody loves a parade

Me, I like tree parades, and encouraging the kids these days to be upstanding cagey private dicks of the sketchy slower-better-bed-is-down-to-me-and-you republic punks, with jeans and legs and lips and all for awful selfish cause, cause after all this is still legally a free country as far as fasheon policing, and blessed struggling on to dumbly exist in the name of animal sufficiency and love replete or minimal in-hopes-to-get-there-or-yet-be-left-t’abet-go-on tiny perpetuities of kindness and recognition for comfort and soft and posterity that turn into coke-level addiction, and of course solar power and pungent moonshine and recycling
Poll-i
March 18th, 2008 at 4:47 am [Reply]

paraite a quoi, il n’y a jamais rien en notre monde toujours nouveau

seems like what, there is never anything in our always dare to newbling world

i am a pig in that i know how to survive but i wont eat you unless you are dead and i am gone and starving

literal true statement

i’d rather eat people than chickens or pigs anyway
although with the quality of fast-food nation diet i’d rather eat grass and that would likely be much better for one’s warbly gawrbly sudden surreptitious sense of keep it down please stars and S fay neighborhoods are watching get a handle on your hambone would you child of joybeans to who::: hunky roary, hung my humble stumble stubbled hubby out to driven drying, why me how to guesting shared of terror oh forever what such favor oh such luck, of hell to all the sumter sooners, hell of health
Alex
August 12th, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!
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