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Trailian wrap-up, plus some Friday quickies

Mark Trail, 10/5/12

Sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Mark Trail, in which a heavily armed Cherry resolved the whole Rusty-napping situation without Mark ever needing to show up! Given the level of real danger that was involved with Rusty being kidnapped by criminals and threatened with death, I’m a bit puzzled as to what “exaggeration” she thinks Rusty will resort to in recounting the story to Mark. “Mark, I saw these men killing sheep from a plane, and then they kidnapped me, and they were going to turn me into a sheep and then shoot me from a plane, so they taught me sheep language, but I summoned all the other sheep, who ate the men! Plus there were aliens!”

Family Circus, 10/5/12

The Billy (age 7) Family Circuses are usually mostly interesting to me because of the layers of family-narrative artifice involved (Jeff Keane continuing his father’s tradition of pretending to draw as his brother), but today’s family psychodrama is much more straightforward: remember, if you don’t like your mother, your kids will notice.

Spider-Man, 10/5/12

Looks like all’s well that’s ended will in Spider-Man! And now you get to contemplate whether you’d rather make sex to a snake or a spider, yuck.

Shoe, 10/5/12

Ha ha, it’s funny because Shoe is emotionally dead, unable to feel either joy or pain!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/5/12

Meanwhile, in Rex Morgan, the thingy came off and there’s water everywhere and June is pissed.

182 responses to “Trailian wrap-up, plus some Friday quickies”

  1. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    AS-M: “And this gal prefers spiders — like that Venom fellow … sooooo hawt…”

    MW: “You’re still young, Dawn. The world is such a big place… take as much time as you need to learn and explore — say, Dawn, have you ever seen a grown woman naked? Do you like movies about private girls schools? Ever been in a women’s prison?”

  2. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    9CL – “In the course of three secords, I feel absolved, yet vilely reprehensible” – She is talking about masturbation, right?

    MW – “Take as much time as you need to learn and explore … Learning about yourself is the most important journey” – She is talking about masturbation, right?

    RMMD – “The thingy came off … the knob is broken!” – She is talking about masturbation, right?

  3. Chareth Cutestory
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Spidey’s normally dull spider sense is still very much attuned to situations when Mary Jane rubs her front teeth on his cheek.

  4. feralcanadian
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    The house Rex and June are staying it is a porn set, and that’s how people talk on a porn set. “Oh my shower is broken, can you come up and fix it?” My suspicions will be confirmed when a pizza is delivered and Rex realizes he doesn’t have any cash, forcing him to have sex with the delivery guy.

  5. feralcanadian
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    The house Rex and June are staying is a porn set, and that’s how people talk on a porn set. “Oh my shower is broken, can you come up and fix it?” My suspicions will be confirmed when a pizza is delivered and Rex realizes he doesn’t have any cash, forcing him to have sex with the delivery guy.

  6. Don A in Pennsyltucky
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    MT: Also NAZIS!

  7. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    @feralcanadian (#5):

    “Forcing”. Yes. Rex was forced into it. He had no choice. He didn’t want to have to break a $20, and you know how expensive those Credit Card fees can be. What else could he do?

  8. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .spilling your load.

  9. nescio
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    ASM: Since male spiders often get eaten after sex, I think this is code for a BJ tonight.

  10. Mumblix Grumph
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    June isn’t mad. She’s just stunned that Rex knows how to handle a female who’s wet.

  11. Sam
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    MJ will regret her preference one day when the delivery room nurse says to her “Congratulations, it’s an… egg sag full of little fetuses, most of whom will not survive…”

  12. John C Fremont
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    MW – “As someone once said, ‘You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself.’ Or how about, ‘I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me.’ Sorry, Dawn, I’ve been listening to that ‘lite’ station you can listen to at home, at work, or in the car. Maybe if I switch to NPR I can come up with some classier quotes.”

  13. Mibbitmaker
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    RMMD: You’re pissed, June?! You’re the one that didn’t wear the microbikini.

  14. Elk Meadow
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#12):

    I thought of the same “I’ve Been to Paradise” song. And I have been. It’s the main lodge at Mt. Rainier in Washington state (and it’s former meadow and current parking lot is forever in the lyrics of “Big Yellow Taxi” : “They pave Paradise; put in a parking lot.”)

  15. pugfuggly
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    MT Ah, the truth comes out: Rusty went out to photograph the sheep but fell asleep in a sunbeam, dreaming of the kind of adventure that Mark tells him about.

    Alternately, they could be talking about that enormous waterfowl taking off in the final panel “Remember, Rusty, the duck was the size of a bus, not a train…”

    FC Dorienne Gray visits her sadistic son.

    ASM “I’m proud of my wife for choosing NOT to cheat on me, especially given what a terrible husband and lover I am. I’m also rather proud of myself for not beating to death that man who cut in front of me at the bank this morning. Gosh, we’re swell people!”

    MW Why do I feel like this is leading up to a pitch for a lady shaver?

  16. seismic-2
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    MT: I love that expression on Andy’s face in Panel One: “Mark won’t believe it? Hell, I was here throughout this whole stupid story arc, and I don’t believe it, either!”

  17. cheech wizard
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    RM – “It’s not a thingy, the proper term is ‘penis.’ And that’s not water, it’s blood.”

  18. Becky H.
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    You know, newspaper comics have allowed my to suspend my disbelief in a lot of things. I can believe in a strip where a kid and his stuffed tiger/imaginary friend go on wacky adventures. I can believe in a strip where a dog is sentient enough to pretend to be a World War I flying ace. I can believe in a strip featuring a talking penguin making nonstop witty social commentary. I can even begrudgingly believe in a strip where cavemen apparently believe that a man who hasn’t even been born yet is their Messiah.

    But this is where I draw the line. I refuse to believe that an over-eighteen young woman, no matter how ditzy or blonde she is, not only managed to accidentally pop off a showerhead that was most likely bolted to the wall, but doesn’t even know what it’s called. Rex Morgan, M.D., you are officially the most unbelievable strip on the comics page today. You get nothing! You lose! GOOD DAY, SIR!

  19. Buck Ripsnort
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    BC: Have they just completely given up on the premise that these are prehistoric cavemen?

  20. Esther Blodgett
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @estetik (#19): Just like that showerhead thingy!

  21. nescio
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    B.C. got stoned before the chance to watch people get electrocuted.

    I prefer these panels where Ziggy is not attempting humor, but simply describing his bleak, lonely existence.

    Yet another Momma strip that would have been improved with an additional panel with the dialogue, “Shut up, you old bitch!” I wonder if Lazarus submits them like that and they get bowdlerized.

  22. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

  23. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#y219): it was just as tedious when Mutts did it last week. :-(

  24. HAnzMFG
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    I for one am amazed at the presence of many boobs in today’s comics, since we have Mary Jane and Honey Combs on display. But then there’s the utterly disturbing mammaries on Shoe’s significant other, which seem to extend out 10 inches from her chest. Good Lord, this is all kinds of wrong.

  25. Lily Sincere
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    June’s laying her finger alongside her nose in that our-plan-is-coming-together co-conspirator way. It doesn’t surprise me that June has a master plan. It does surprise me that she has a co-conspirator…unless, since she’s looking directly at the reader, we are her co-conspirators. Did the strip suddenly become participatory murder mystery dinner theater? Do we get satay chicken skewers at some point? I’m only in if there are satay chicken skewers, June.

  26. Esther Blodgett
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    FW: Does Batiuk smirk into a mirror to draw those hideous facial expressions? Because, damn.

    AS: A pun so truly, achingly bad as to be funny. My favorite kind.

    Luann: Explain again why they can’t Skype? Other than Evans having a bagful of 30-year-old plot ideas and by God he’s not going to let any newfangled technology keep him from dragging them out?

    S4th: Admit it: you’re kind of going to miss Gerald.

  27. Austria
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    BB: This strip is going from “weird” right into straight-up “absurdity.”

    PBS: So, true story, I’ve always been terrified of amusement park mascots. I’m sure I’m not the only one. I’m thinking half the reason Rat took this job was to scare small children. Seems like something he would do.

    Zits: I’m fairly certain no one over the age of 10 actually wears glitter dust anymore. Come on, Scott ‘n’ Borgman, get on the ball.

  28. sporknpork
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    I like how Ed Asner and the dog share a moment, wondering how this became their lives.

  29. Illustrator Steve
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    MT – As another adventure comes to an end, the Trail family sits down to eat pancakes while a migrating duck dumps yet another jackelrod ball into what was once a pristine unpolluted pond.

  30. The Ghost of Jarrod
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @HAnzMFG (#25):

    Frankly, the fact that a bird has mammaries at all is the most disturbing thing.

    DtM – Actually, Dennis suggesting they kill a pig just so he can use it as a piggy bank is pretty menacing. Well done, whoever’s drawing the strip these days.

    SS – Give me your hands, if we be friends. And Robin shall restore amends.

    Doonesbury – I don’t know about you, Josh, but these past few strips have been making me very depressed about being a writer on the internet.

  31. Remmy
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth: Thank the Lord those idiots are leaving!

    9 Chickweed Lane: What we don’t see is that the nun has plunged daggers into the backs of the two ninnies.

    Funky Winkerbean: Please – shallow grave for Les Funky, that’s not too much to ask for.

    Luann: Evans – please for all that is good in the world – retire.

    Big Nate: True fact – I once wrote to LP and asked him to get rid of Nate, letting him know that I did like the other characters (which I do). I think he called me a beefwit under his breath.

  32. TheDiva
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    MT: Even when Rusty’s in mortal peril, Mark can’t be bothered to hang out with him. You save a kid’s life once, and the next thing you know he’ll want you to take him fishing, and then where will you be?

    RMMD: This plumbing problem is the most exciting thing to happen in any soap strip in recent history. Yes, more than the kidnapping sheep killers, the capsizing boat, and whatever is happening in Gil Thorp right now.

    SM: And now the truth comes out–MJ puts up with Peter because he’s the only one who can fulfill her freaky anthro fantasies.

  33. Greg
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    MT: “But go ahead and tell him about the gigantic, mutant woodland duck that flew over our cabin and shit out a giant egg that had ‘Jack Elrod’ on it!”

  34. Illustrator Steve
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    MT – A Jakelrod ending we’d like to see…..
    (Rusty): “I can’t wait to tell Mark what happened! He won’t believe me!”

    (Cherry): “He should be home tomorrow to take you fishing, but if I were you I wouldn’t believe it!”

    (Rusty): “Can I be the one to tell him what a joke of a father he has turned out to be?”

    (Cherry): “Sure, just don’t exaggerate to much. Just stick to the facts, like how he abandoned you on the fishing dock and how many times he abandoned me in the bedroom. Just remember to corner him before that wretched phone rings and he runs off again!”

    (Doc): “NO! He’s probably outside.”

    (Rusty): “Well, at least it’s good to see that Doc is his old self again!”

    (Cherry, Andy, Sassy and the duck): “HA HA HA HA ARF ARF ARF QUACK QUACK!”

  35. Marc
    October 5th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    9CL- Sister Steven isn’t hugging them, she is shiving them. The looks on Edda and Amos’s faces are smiles as much as the body’s reaction to the introduction of sharp, cold steel to their insidey parts. At least we can only hope that’s what is going on.

    A3G- Umm exactly what kind of restaurant are they in? Shouldn’t there be tables, or a counter, or something instead of a mob of overdressed people standing around mingling.

    Mark Trail- “Don’t exaggerate too much Rusty. If you lay claim to doing anything but getting helplessly kidnapped and allowing Mark’s camera to be stolen, so help me God I will send you back to that swamp where we found you. You will not screw up the first shining moment I have ever had in my entire life. I was so heroic, maybe Mark will even touch me when he returns.”

    Mary Worth- The things that Dawn needs to learn could fill the Mediterranean Sea that she didn’t almost drown in.

    Funky- That fucking bench and that fucking banner. There is no escaping the Dead St. Lisa. Not even for a moment.

    Luann- “Maaaaaaa!!! Quill’s not answering my text for no good reason!!!”
    “Well honey, maybe that’s because you addresed it ‘my darling Quill’ and it’s 2 o’clock in the fucking morning there.

    Cranky- You may want to go out there and check his pulse. On second thought, let him stay out there a while. You don’t want to ruin the ecstasy of thinking Ed Crankshaft is finally dead by going out there and having it turn out that he still has a heartbeat.

  36. Santa Royale With Cheese
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    S-M: I was expecting that little preview box at the bottom of the 3rd panel to appear and say “next: what, you’re still here?”

  37. TheDiva
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    9CL: Well, you’ve got the “vilely reprehensible” part down pat, anyway.

    C’shaft: Crankshaft awaits the growth of new life, so he can take sadistic pleasure in cutting it down.

    FW: No jury in the world would convict you, Funky. I’m just sayin’.

    Luann: I envy Quill for not having to show up for this arc.

    MW: “But trust me on the sunscreen.”

  38. Binder's Butter Beans
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    The thingy came off and the knob is broken … man, that girl is rough in the sack!

  39. Lawyerbob
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    MT: In a world where giant migratory waterfowl poop large, white balls labeled “Jack Elrod,” I’m not sure the word “exaggerate” has any meaning.

  40. John C Fremont
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @estetik (#19): Okay, I give up. Is it “estetik” or “estetigi?” I need to know, dammit!

    @Elk Meadow (#14): “I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to the lodge at Mt. Rainier.”

    Almost paradise…

  41. Browns fan
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    MT: looks like the sheep barfed up some of the intestines after they “ate the men”, which now appears on Rusty’s breakfast platter! Mark will want that proof!

  42. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#31): Re: Doons. But, but, “sideboobs”!

    // How can sideboobs not be funny?

    // Anyway, one of our musically talented mudges (hey, Muffaroo!) should do a version of the Beatles “Paperback Writer” as “Internet Writer”. Could post it on Youtube, and HuffPo might pick up on it, and, I dunno, you could make tens of dollars. More if you can get “sideboobs” in there. Split it with ya?

  43. Ned Ryerson
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Excuse me, but in terms of shower related items, the showerhead is not the “thingy”, the thingy is the thingy. (R.I.P. Ironhead Heyward).

    MT: Hey kid, did you see me action out there? When Cherry said, “Get ‘em” did you see me get ‘em? That’s right, I saved your bacon…again! Now can I have some of your Easy Mac or what?!
    Meanwhile, the duck stares right at us and says, “You guys still read this drivel? I’ve left more cogent shit stains on the forest floor!”

  44. Jon \"Bad Wasabi\" Wood
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Why is the female bird in Shoe flesh-colored?

  45. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#42): I knew vaguely about the phenom, but Huff Po has an actual page “http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/sideboob”!!

    // We’re all Mayans now.

  46. wossname
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    What the frack is wrong with Darkgate today? Everything I’m interested in (for certain values of “interested”) is stuck on yesterday. Comic-reading is really labor-intensive!

    A3G – She rebuffed you in some horrible way, Greg? As I recall, you showed up unexpected at her office, barged in, and she told you she had other plans. Also, weren’t you cavorting around Manhattan with Lu Ann and kissing her on the eyelid just the other day? What a cad!

    MW – Now seriously. Is there anyone in the world reading this unironically, day after day, thinking “Oh, that Mary – she’s so full of good advice! I certainly do enjoy her words of wisdom!”?

    RMMD – How does he know that “thingie” means “showerhead”? She could mean that the faucet came off. Or the shower curtain. Or the chandelier.

  47. Perky Bird
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#30): When I was in college, I drew a comic strip for our university newspaper, in which my friends and I appeared as anthropomorphic animals. I drew myself a salamander (don’t ask). Anyhow, I realized that I was drawing a salamander with boobs, which amphibians don’t have (but I do!). So I actually had one of the other characters comment on that, and my salamander character revealed they were “falsies” called “amphibi-mams.”
    So maybe the female characters in “Shoe” are wearing something similar to make themselves feel more feminine.

  48. Dood
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: What the hell does Rex know about plumbing? Oh, wait.

  49. Liam
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    MT-Remember Mark doesn’t like a lot of details in stories hence why we live in such a bland looking area.

    Crankshaft-And when he becomes despondent you will find him in the garage dead with the lawn mower running.

    MW-And the best way for you to find yourself Dawn is by dropping out of school and then going back to school so you can learn what you want to be.

    MW 2-But even more important is learning about what Mary wants you to be.

    FC-Daddy would rather hang Grandma than her picture.

  50. casino LF
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    9CL: Brooke, look. I know you clearly don’t understand women (or possibly people at all!) but adult women don’t run around in clingy jumpers. There is NOWHERE — iterally nowhere — that you can buy a sexy full-length jumper. There just isn’t. The only people I remember seeing in jumpers were teachers in the 80s, and they were denim, and they were not flattering OR clingy in any way.

    FW: DEAD LISA DEAD LISA DEAD LISA

  51. bbofun
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    A3G- If Prof. Goatee asks Greg if he likes gladiator movies, I’m outta here.

    Cranky-See, this is mildly amusing. Except I’ve come to despise the characters so much, I’m hoping that we’ll discover tomorrow that Crankshaft has slipped into a coma on his riding mower.

    FW- Stuff him in a locker! You know you want to!

    GT- Three panel 2 observations- first, Linzi (is that his name?) is looking particularly evil today; second, wasn’t this whole rooting section HIS idea?; third, “The Emerald Aisle?” That’s a terrible nickname for a football player. it sounds like everybody can just walk right through him. (Okay, I just realized that’s the name of the rooting section.)

    JP- This is all looking so OMINOUS, and you KNOW it’s not going anywhere.

  52. Poteet
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    S-M — What this strip has done to the image of spiders is bad enough. Leave snakes alone.

  53. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Don A in Pennsyltucky (#6): Man, I hate Lost Forest Nazis.

    @Remmy (#32): The Forths are leaving?

    RxMD: This plumbing plot only makes sense if you view it as an allegory for Rex treating Melissa’s nephew’s “tenants” for STIs, and yes, Melissa is in on it. These girls bring in $400-500 an hour, and she wants to protect her investment.

  54. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#47): there’s a trope for that.

    (be sure to check out the quote on the top of the page. . . .)

  55. Liam
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Lio-And the skull’s okay. Proof that helmets are a good thing.

    A3G-Greg, aren’t you some kind of big time Hollywood actor. You could have any woman you want. I’m surprised you aren’t fending off the people behind you.

    Archie-And you’ve said some pretty offensive things against the Irish guy they got playing on the other team, Reggie.

  56. Dr. P and the Women
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    You know, June, you wouldn’t have to be competing with this dingbat for Rex’s attention if you had just worn the scandalously tiny bikini you’ve been teasing us about all week.

    Wait, I forgot we were talking about your asexual mutant of a husband, he won’t notice either way. You wouldn’t have to be competing for MY attention though!

  57. Doctor Handsome
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Peter may be dressed like a Ken doll circa 1992, but his wife miraculously didn’t fuck that insane old actor guy. Mark it a W, newspaper Spider-Man.

  58. Dood
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: “Irv, clean up in the Emerald Aisle.” “Check.”

    My general theory of Gil Thorp relativity: Marty Moon is an alien from another planetary system who’s stranded on earth. His first contact was with Gil Thorp, who mistook him for a local radio sportscaster, or for Milford’s first and only radio sportscaster. As a result, Marty can only speak in sports metaphors and believes his pressbox/crate is his starship that will take him home. Yet, each week he’s frustrated in his departure plans. “Terry Gallagher checks in at safety” actually means he’s one flux coupler short of blasting off from this rock, damnit.

  59. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#32): “her freaky anthro fantasies.”

    Arthro? Maybe? Or I’m just not getting the joke.

  60. debussy fields
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    MT– If I were Doc, I’d be going on strike. He never gets to say anything. At most, he gets a third of his profile tucked into the edge of one of the panels, same expression on his face all the time.

    If we could hear Elrod talking to his characters, this is how it would go if I were Doc:

    “Well, Doc, today we’re going to put your right profile into the left side of panel one.”

    “Fuck you. I’m outta here!”

    “But, Doc–”

    “I ain’t one of your goddamned turtles or antelopes that you stick in anywhere just to fill up space! I–AM–SOMEONE!”

  61. Christopher
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan is either going to turn into Three’s Company or Swedish porn.

  62. Liam
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    RMMD-Careful, June, Honey might try to yank your husband’s thingy off.

  63. S.Stout
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    FC: Can we all agree that Billy is an excellent artist at only 7? He already can draw people and objects at unique angles.

    Luann: Is there anyone on Earth who is excited by this plotline? Luann’s mom could save it though by smothering her with a pillow.

  64. Doctor Handsome
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    The worn-out bar skank pleading with Shoe for emotional intimacy is far sadder than anything that’s ever been in Funky Winkerbean.

  65. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Smirky – Les Moore amuses Les more, and everyone else — more or less — less and less.

    Marfield – The baby monitor apparently picks up his thoughts and transmits them. Since Marvin’s dad calls it “babbling,” it’s clearly translating it into English as well.

  66. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    One BigRuthie probably saw the bloodsucking leech on “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.” [*]

    Shoe – Pass the alcoholic beverage! He’s starting to lose the ability to pretend he gives a shit about anything in the world apart from alcoholic beverages again.

    Mark – I see by the walls that we’re back in the Holodeck again. We probably were never out of it.

  67. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @Becky H. (#18): Heads up: your website link was mistyped as “.con” — Nice comment, by the way. I snerted.

    @Marc (#35): Umm exactly what kind of restaurant are they in?
    As far as I can tell, they’re in somebody’s home, a few blocks away from 3-G. Seems kind of rude and invasive to me, but apparently the blue folk have ways different from my own, and who am I to judge? Maybe it’s one of those flash mobs I used to hear about.

  68. Dood
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: I’m impressed that Honey isn’t allowing this plumbing disaster to interrupt her tai chi.

  69. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    MT: Rusty is wearing thick black lipstick today and eating a chocolate chip cookie with a fork. Just thought I should point that out.

    S-M: His spider sense is tingling in a special place, and he’s trying to remember what that means.

    RMMD: I know there’s a plumbing emergency, but at least spare a glance at June as she’s doing her best David Lee Roth.

    Ziggy: “And after an hour or two of the ringing, the voices will start. Yes, guide me masters, instruct me.”

    FW: No Funky, Les will never quit. Not until someone stops him with extreme prejudice.

    9CL: One or the other of these people missed the phrase “grotesquely entitled.”

    JP: All the other guys on the farm think he looks like Weezy Jefferson, but I just don’t see it.

    BB: If this is a redo of the Footprints in the Sand parable, that means Killer is Jesus. Yeah, I’ll need time to absorb that one, too.

    H&L: “Bad enough that my fake ID isn’t good enough to get smokes.”

    6C: “Salves for unnatural creatures brought back from the dead? Ah, bingo!”

    DtM: Most people who come through this part of the ranch talk bacon and sausage, but somebody told this kid about the freeze ray that turns pigs into banks.

    M-Dawg: Very clever, old man Snyder, using psy-ops on Satan’s minions.

    H&J: Psst, Herb. This is your chance to use the “aren’t you going to buy me a drink?” line.

    A3G: “Putting it not-so-mildly, she kicked me in the nuts and threw lemon juice in my eyes.”

  70. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    That fucking bench and that fucking banner. There is no escaping the Dead St. Lisa. Not even for a moment.
    You’ll notice nobody sits on that bench. It’s not that kind of bench, you buffoons! It’s HER bench! She may be sitting on it RIGHT NOW!
    And sometimes, Les doesn’t scream at them. Sometimes he sits down with them, and starts talking, in low, confiding tones, talking about his life and his dreams and his hopes and his Lisa and the rather remarkable sequence of events leading to her poetic death… in AUTUMN, just like NOW. And the one time she called him at the airport. Then they wish he’d just screamed at them.

  71. Doctor Handsome
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    “Can I be the one to tell him?” The duck’s like, “Haha, up yours, Rusty! I’m spillin’ the beans!”

  72. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#66): Ruthie didn’t say the leeches were British or medium-functioning alcoholics, but she didn’t say they weren’t either.

  73. Poteet
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    MT — If Rusty were actually human, there might be reason to contact Child Protective Services. But he’s not, so no worries.

  74. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): (Still talking to Marc @35 there)

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#42): Okay, but you owe me fifteen minutes.

    Pasty basement dwellers, won’t you view my blog?
    I had eighty hits last week, just see the log.
    All my teachers told me, stick with what you know,
    But I don’t know joe, so I’m gonna be an internet writer,
    Internet writer!

    When I watch a movie or a TV show,
    How’s it make me feel? People need to know!
    Got strong opinions, I hold nothing back,
    I’m a little cracked, and I’m gonna be an internet writer,
    Internet writer!

    (Internet… writer… internet… writer)

    Got my thumb on the pulse of the intertubes,*
    And an eye that catches any kind of boobs,
    My friends all say that I’m a crazy stitch,
    Some day I’ll be rich, cuz I’m gonna be an internet writer,
    Internet writer!

    I can update often, I’ve got time to spend.
    Please retweet my twitters, be my facebook friend!
    Put my link up on your blogroll too,
    I’ll link back to you, man, I’m gonna be an internet writer,
    Internet writer!

    Gonna build my influence, and when I’m big
    I’ll be read at Reddit, I’ll be dug at Digg,
    Drudge and aintitcool will defer to me,
    And they’ll all agree, I’m the king of all teh internets writers,
    Internet writer!!

    *A significant line. The thumb has its own pulse, which can be confused for the pulse it’s supposed to be taking. Plus it fits the meter.

  75. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#58): The thing I like about your theory is that Marty Moon could be an stranded alien (in which case, he needs to head over to Dick Tracy and jack Diet Smith’s Space Coupe), or he could be a dried-up alcoholic with Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, and neither possibility requires Neal Rubin or Rod Whigham to change a single thing about their characterization.

  76. Poteet
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): If I had a float, that would ride.

  77. Anonymous
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Was late getting the PCK together today, so the following goes on with any needed oversnarpologies…

    MT (meta): “Rusty, Rusty, Rusty,” says Mark, “You know the only space alien ’round these parts is you.”

    S-M: In context, not so weird. OUT OF context? Weeeeeeeeird!

    Shoe: Shoe has been reading the last 20 years of Funky Winkerbean.

    RMMD: Wah-waaaaaaaah! (eh, June?)

  78. Poteet
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#74): *wild applause*

  79. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#51):

    Three panel 2 observations- first, Linzi (is that his name?) is looking particularly evil today;

    I can see the resemblance (this being Gil Thorp after all) but that’s not the sublimely bitchy basketball player Lini Verde. It’s slimy newcomer Doyle Dane.

  80. Mibbitmaker
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#77): That was me, btw.

  81. Doctor Handsome
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    I think Rex Morgan is trying to seem like a porno before the penetration starts, but it’s coming off more like a Fear and Loathing-style hallucinogen binge.

  82. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    FW: This requires a roundhouse kick to the face. Or a 2×4. Whichever gives the most satisfaction.

    MW: “Drivel drivel drivel drivel…”

    RMMD: “The thingy came off”?? Seriously?? Of course, June suspects it’s all BS, however Rex has a hard-on already.

  83. Mibbitmaker
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#74): Nowhere near as good, but I can’t resist alittle equal time… with a Doonesbury character…..

    Why don’t I draw it on the ‘net?
    Why don’t I draw it on the ‘net?
    Why don’t I draw it on the ‘net?
    Why don’t I draw it on the ‘net?
    No one would be reading it,
    Why don’t I draw it on the ‘net?

    (repeat 3 times)

  84. Doctor Handsome
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    After Grandma leaves, Bil will replace her picture with the one of him shaking hands with Mean Gene Okerlund.

  85. terrapin
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    A3G: “…and by ‘putting it mildly’ I mean, ‘my nuts now reside in a little jar on her mantle.”

  86. wooddragon
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#59): “Anthro”pomorphic, though I also pondered ‘arthro’ as I read the comment…

  87. Mibbitmaker
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    RMMD: …….Thingy?

    And now for something completely different: Beatles parodies…

  88. geekwhisperer
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail I for one agree with Rusty. Mark will not believe that their peril was solved by simply dragging a log across the road and having Andy attack the skypoachers. “Wait, there was no gum wrapper? No golden bird band? No mysterious cave mined by trained bears? Are you sure there wasn’t a blind hunting dog following the scent of a pilfered barn coat or a deer-kicking senator? Just what kind of cockamamie story is this?”

  89. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#81): “We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. “

  90. Dood
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: I can imagine that upon Rusty’s re-telling of this tale, Mark will sadly shake his head and say, “This does not make a really good story.”

  91. kanomi
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: This storyline would be vastly improved if June had met Honey first, then Rex had come in later and overheard his wife calling another woman ‘Honey’ and that just blew his mind, so later back on the yacht after a pinot noir and boulette d’avesnes, he’d casually mention that he was “okay” with her “explorations” because it’s the sophisticated things and after all he has his golfing buddies, wink-wink, nudge-nudge; then June’s outrage knows no bounds and no safe word will save you now Doc but abruptly a helicopter full of money lands on the yacht because Rex Morgan is a magical astronaut and rich people are infallible gods made of solid gold.

  92. Illustrator Steve
    October 5th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    MT – Rusty decides it’s time he let his family know how he’s been searching for his identity by letting them see him wear his favorite black eye shadow, mascara and lipstick right in front of them at the dinner table! Unfortunatly, the only one who seems to notice is Andy.

  93. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Monty — Made perfect sense to me, and I’m not even wearing a hat.

  94. Anonymous
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#67): Ah, good to know, thanks for pointing that out!

  95. Becky H.
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#94): …that was me.

  96. popamatic
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Sassy is not in the frame. Rusty is eating something that looks a lot like cookie dough. The color and spots fit! That would explain Andy’s look of horror and surprise. “Wuuh-uuhh? Am I next?” Meanwhile, Doc takes a short nap at the table.

    RMMD, plumber: Wait, Honey just got out of the shower in the apartment below, why would she be doing anything to the shower upstairs for several hours, at least?

  97. commodorejohn
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    My God how I want to read Josh’s invented Mark Trail storyline.

  98. Little Guy
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#2), RMMD: ….and that’s why June is pissed

  99. terrapin
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    MT: Meanwhile, over the skies of Lost Forest, an anemic looking wood duck is pooping out an Elrod ball.

  100. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#74): WIN! Your 15 minutes is in the mail.

    // I was hoping you could get “interest” and “pinterest” in there, but maybe version 2.0?

  101. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#97): I concur. Especially if it turns out that Rusty is actually a powerful psychic mutant the government is keeping in a medically induced coma, i.e., all Mark Trail is a drug-induced hallucination, i.e., Mark Trail is really an Akira subplot.

  102. Jasper
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#2):
    The reservoir tip broke, there is semen everywhere.

  103. Jasper
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Posted on a bottle of poisen: Induce vomitting or read Mary Worth . . . .

  104. Jasper
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    MT- No need to worry about Rusty exaggerating the story. When Cherry greets Mark with a hug he’ll go into an intimacy panic attack and suddenly get a call from his editor about something he needs to check out in the southern part of the state. Rusty won’t even get a complete sentance out of his mouth.

  105. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Jasper (#103): Mrs. Worth is mean—Mrs. Worth is green—Mwooohahahahaha!!!

  106. seismic-2
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    FC: “Daddy! You can’t hang Grandma’s picture on the wall! You told us that we must never touch it except when we place it on the altar during the blood sacrifice to the Demon Pazuzu and then pray to him to take her soul!”

  107. tb4000
    October 5th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Rex’s knowledge of home repair is about on par with his knowledge of anatomy. That was the joke.

  108. isjusterin
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Mary Jane prefers spider sex because at least there’s the assurance that she’ll get a meal out of that.

  109. Alter Ego
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – “The thingy came off”? Damn. Time for Plan B!

  110. Poteet
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#99): Yeah, I hope that poor duck manages to get out of LoFo. Fly, duck, fly! Escape over the mountains! Do what Cherry will never be able to do!

  111. Poteet
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    A3G — So this is what life is like for what was proclaimed to be a really hot straight guy in NYC. Another myth shattered.

  112. Liam
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Shoe-Because you aren’t paying me to express my feelings.

    Garfield-That’s good that you know that’s the closet, Liz. Lyman didn’t know that was the closet and he hasn’t been seen since.

  113. Liam
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    MT-Mark won’t believe how he hired such incompetent people. He hired those poachers to kill you, Rusty, and here you are still alive and eating Mark’s food no less.

  114. Chip Whittle
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Skippy: How is it that a comic strip actually written in 1923 is fresher than the modern strips that just write with the social attitudes and humor styles of something written in 1923?

  115. bunivasal
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    A blue suit with a black t-shirt underneath, Peter? Are you going clubbing with Will Farrell later?

  116. pugfuggly
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#111):

    I hear that most big stars in NYC go to lunch at retirement homes cafeterias like the one picture there. Cheaper than uptown, and you don’t get recognized by anyone but the orderlies.

  117. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):

    MT Ah, the truth comes out: Rusty went out to photograph the sheep but fell asleep in a sunbeam, dreaming of the kind of adventure that Mark tells him about.

    Are you comparing Rusty to Trixie Flagston? Because I’m pretty sure she’d kick his ass in a game of Clue.

  118. Will
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    BB: “Also, if I’m just like you, why can’t I turn my head 180 degrees?”

    CS: Didn’t we just sit through a week-long arc of Crankshaft paying some kid to mow the lawn with a regular push mower, polish said lawnmower and then mow the lawn again himself? Why do all that if he’s got a big, shiny lawn tractor?

  119. pugfuggly
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#113):

    To be fair, Mark’s description to the assassins of ‘giant eyes, stunned expression, and hideous smell’ applies equally well to the mountain goats.

  120. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#112): Wait, I thought Lyman eloped to the Castro with Chuck Cunningham.

  121. pugfuggly
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#117):

    Hardly a fair fight since Trixie has sunshine on her side and Rusty is a fair-skinned monster who hides from the light, lest his freckles start to grow powerful enough to control his muscles…

  122. Holly Folly
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    The other adults are probably worried that Rusty will exaggerate how much he actually loves Mark Trail and has come to view him as a father figure. Something I am sure the other adults want to avoid at all costs.

  123. Comcis Fan
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – This woman’s having a gusher and her knob needs fixing? It’s either one or the other, Honey..

  124. Peanut Gallery
    October 5th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I don’t know why everyone is so confused about where today’s strip is taking place. Obviously it’s a Princeton faculty mixer, with an open buffet. In panel 1, Paul Krugman is saying to Greg, “Ha — I knew you’d like this food. You Austrian School types always load up on the Vienna sausages.”

  125. Liam
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Raspy Cricket (#120):

    That is what Jon told people.

  126. northernlurker
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    MW: does Mary never have a normal conversation? All she ever does is spout irrelevant platitudes.
    Normal person: Morning Mary. Glorious day isn’t it?
    MW: A wise man once said most men live lives of quiet desperation.
    NP: ??? I’m off to Starbucks, care to join me?
    MW: Mao once said the east is red.
    NP: did he now?
    MW: Only the self-examined life is worth living
    NP: I just bludgeoned my wife to death and stuffed her body into the crawlspace.
    MW: Laughter is the best medicine.
    NP: see ya

  127. Peanut Gallery
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

  128. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#125): I just read more about Lyman than I ever really wanted or need to.

  129. bats :[
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

  130. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Is there any reason for dragging this out other than just wasting six days of strips? She’s going to wangst for the entire week, eventually call up Quill, and get the message that he’s not interested, so she’ll whine both about how she should have listened to her wangsting and listened to her intuition that told her she shouldn’t have called Quill, since not knowing would be so much better than knowing.

    The *only* way her wangst could possibly serve any purpose beyond wasting six strips would be if she decides to *not* call him, because no matter what he says, their relationship’s over and not worth considering. But that’s certainly not going to happen. Instead, we’ll have a story where he asks her to call him, and she does! And it only took two weeks to accomplish that!

  131. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @northernlurker (#126): I don’t know why, but putting anti-capitalist slogans into Mary’s mouth is hilarious to me.

    Wilbur: Well, Mary, I guess it’s back to work for me…

    Mary: The gears of capitalism are greased with the blood of the workers.

    Wilbur: Hmmm, yes, well, I really need to make some progress on my next column…

    Mary: Capitalism is progress for the few on the backs of the many.

    Wilbur: …It’s a tough one because this reader is asking Wendy which presidential candidate he should vote for…

    Mary: All political power derives from the barrel of a gun…

    Wilbur: …I don’t want to tell them who to vote, but to get them thinking about which candidate best represents such values as freedom—

    Mary: Under capitalism, you have two freedoms: The freedom to work, at which point you surrender all your other freedoms—

    Wilbur: …justice, hard work—

    Mary: …and the freedom to starve! And that means no sandwich for you, comrade!

    Wilbur: THAT IS HORRIBLE! DEATH TO CAPITALISM!

  132. Peanut Gallery
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    FC – Josh, I think it’s supposed to be Thel’s mother, not Bil’s mother. So it’s a mother-in-law joke.

  133. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#124):

    Yes, but if the Vienna Sausages were popular among Economists, and were being given away for free, then Economists would have already eaten all the Vienna Sausages, and thus I would not expect to find any available at the faculty mixer.

  134. Chaze
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    GA – Slim must be stressed out. He appears to have eaten a lunch that made him put on about 100 lbs between panel 1 and panel 3.

    Garfield – That’s the most polite way I’ve seen anyone tell their girlfriend to go back into the closet.

    FC – I continue to be amazed at how Billy has a better grasp of the proper proportions of the human body. His Daddy looks more human than his Daddy’s drawing of Daddy.

  135. Chaze
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – if June concentrates real hard, that railing supporting Honey will break and this unpleasant little episode will be over.

    A3M – Are MJ’s leading men the new source of Spidey villains?

  136. tallyHO
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#69):
    “MT: Rusty is wearing thick black lipstick today and eating a chocolate chip cookie with a fork. Just thought I should point that out.”

    Then the rumors are true. He grows up to become Marylin Manson.

  137. Chaze
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    The first panel of Mark Trail gives every appearance of taking place on the USS Enterprise, which is not surprising because this strip is clearly not of our time and not of our space.

  138. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#137): Man, I #*@%ing hate Holodeck episodes!

  139. Chaze
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    JP – Avery, you’re in motion pictures, right? Remember “Deliverance,” with the scurvy backwoods guys and the chubby guy from the city?

    Hmmmm…somehow I don’t think you do.

  140. Chaze
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    I think Billy from Family Circus has been drawing Mark Trail the past few weeks. Probably writing it, too.

  141. tallyHO
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#137):

    Including Andy Dog? I don’t recall dogs on any version of Star Trek.

  142. dyslexic dog
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#46): MW: Even the unironic comments are ironic.

  143. tallyHO
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (y#212):

    Man! Now I so want to watch “Smokey Bear the Bear and the Bandit”…

    a wise-cracking bear and his lady friend and some other bears dare to flout the law…waitasec… improvisation waning…left-brain correcting…correcting…

    I got that backwards. If the authentic “Smokey and the Bandit” template is used, that would make Smokey Bear the Bear the cop, the Jackie Gleason character. So, he would be the Long Paw of the Law>. But, he wouldn’t be able to deal with the anti-hero character of The Bandit….

    Who could totally be Yogi Bear!

    This could work. And, frighteningly enough, I could almost see a movie like it happening. Though, while Yogi Bear With A Bushy Mustache And Chomping On Chewing Gum would be hilarious there’d be the possibility it would also be as disturbing to see as clowns are to some people.

  144. Liam
    October 5th, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    MW-Eventually Dawn get her own spinoff comic where she is in her thirties and still living with Wilbur trying to find herself.

    MW 2-You’re still young, Dawn, even though you look like you’re in your forties and you dress like someone in their sixties.

  145. Liam
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    MT-”We all know much you love to exaggerate stories, Dad.”

  146. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#141):

    There was the little pomeranian with a bad wig from The Enemy Within.

    http://www.startrek.com/database_article/enemy-within-the

  147. Peanut Gallery
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#133): That’s why the Chicago School sticks to deep-dish pizza.

    In heaven there are no sausages,
    That’s why we eat ‘em in pottages.
    And when we are taken as hostages,
    Someone else will be eating all the sausages!

  148. Chaze
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#141): Andy is RoboDog. Sassy is a Tribble.

  149. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#114): Thanks for pointing to Skippy. It’s in my daily list now. I have a collection of them, but don’t want to wear it out.

    @Raspy Cricket (#138): But aren’t they all holodeck episodes?

  150. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#147):Oh god no please not that again no…

    // Do not make me rhyme again.

  151. Damian Hammontree
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    Man, I’m so glad that that final Spider-Man panel was there to remind us that Peter Parker is actually Spider-Man. I can’t stress how crucially important it was as a reader not to be accidentally left with the mistaken impression that that female character, whoever she was, was expressing sexual attraction to actual spiders, in a comic strip called Spider-Man – because there’s a very real danger that I would have forgotten by panel three that the strip was called Spider-Man, and that it might somehow involve some kind of Spider-Man or something. You can never be too careful about these things! Thank you for protecting my delicate comics-reading sensibilities from that disturbing vision of surreal horror, Stan Lee and Larry Leiber 10-5!

  152. Mysterious shirtless lawyer
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in Rex Morgan, the thingy came off and there’s water everywhere and June is pissed.

    In addition, even wearing shades, Rex has to shade his eyes to protect them from the gleam off of Honey’s honeypot. Check out that Snatch o’ Gold!

  153. Poteet
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    SHOE — I was better off not knowing what kinds of birds these creature are supposed to be. And now I can never unknow that Shoe is supposed to be a purple martin. It wasn’t so bad when I thought he was a crow, because crows do seem to have the potential for cynicism, given their behavior. But real purple martins appear to be cheery and social and are so much smaller than ospreys, which is what the Perfessor is supposed to be. Arrrgh, this is all just wrong.

  154. Peanut Gallery
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#150):

    In heaven there is no rhyme,
    That’s why it’s so sublime.
    And since Scudder has sworn off crime,
    Someone else will be making all the rhymes!

  155. Poteet
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

  156. flatsixes
    October 5th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    MT: Um… Did I miss a few days of this story? I mean, the last thing I recall Cherry had marched the thieving sheep killers back to the family compound and told the old man to call the cops. Now their all sitting around eating pancakes and congratulating themselves. Did the cops ever come to take the sheep killing kidnappers off to justice? Or did Cherry & Co. just shoot ‘em and toss ‘em down the well? (“Don’t exaggerate, Rusty. It only took them three hours to die.”) And what, pray tell has happened to Sassy? Down the well as well? Well!

  157. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#141): Captain Archer had a dog on Enterprise, which, unfortunately, counts.

  158. Liam
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @flatsixes (#156):

    The poachers have been tied to the same tree as the hemp growers.

  159. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Raspy Cricket (#157):

    No, Enterprise has been non-canonical ever since that guy from Quantum Leap jumped back in time and prevented the guy who played the Captain from ever making the series in the first place. True story!

  160. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @flatsixes (#156): We hear ya brother. Turn down the volume.

  161. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Raspy Cricket (#157): Porthos barely qualifies for membership in genus canus. In certain parts of the world, he would be called “lunchmeat”.

  162. Liam
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Ari, I figured since I’m in New York I might as well try this Chinese food that I hear people raving about.

  163. seismic-2
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    In the Star Trek version of Mark Trail (Mark Trek?), the poachers shoot sheep from earth orbit using phasors. Rusty still doesn’t get to go fishing, though, even in the Holodeck. After all, even science fiction has to impose some limits on plausibility.

    I have to say, though, that I really did enjoy the episode where Kelly Welly returned to her home planet…

  164. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#154): How, sir, do you sleep at night? You do know that you are an EVIL person?

    Alas, I am laid low by stomach flu, and I’m too weak to reach for my Clement Wood. (You folks have filthy minds. You know what I mean. You ought to be ashamed.)

    // Oh, if only pastordan, or Frank, or Bourbon Babe, were here to help. Oh, Poteet, Lynn! Calico! Commodore! Is there no succor? Oh, Muffaroo, in my hour of need… Surely some mudge will stand by for me in loco poetasterness!

  165. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#161): That just makes him Star Trek‘s Sassy.

  166. Raspy Cricket
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#163): OHMYGODRUSTYISWESLEY!!!

  167. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all.

    In Heaven there is no flatus
    Thats why we live in the State(u)s
    And when to heaven we go,
    Peanut G. will be farting below!

    // To the Pain!

  168. Marc
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#145): “Exaggerate? NO! He’s probably outside.”

  169. Alison
    October 5th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: It might be good news? Like what? Like the fact that the guy moved a zillion miles away but, hey, he still thinks Luann is cute, or something? WTF. The only love story in this strip that isn’t ridiculous is the one between T.J. and An Eyeful. I want them to get married.

    “Mary Worth”: Mary seems really dead-set against Dawn and Jim dating. Why is that? It was Mary’s idea for Dawn to volunteer. Mary should be smugly basking in the glow of Dawn finding a man while she was volunteering, and thanking Mary for it. Something is up.

    “Rex Morgan”: See, Angry June, this is generally the reality of getting expensive things for free: it means something’s fishy. If someone you don’t know very well is going to let you use her beach house free of charge, that means something is wrong with it.* Anyone with any sense would realize this, but of course the Morgans would never think of it, since in their world everybody gets free stuff all the time for no reason at all.

    *Granted, “There’s an annoying pervy person already living in the beach house” isn’t usually what’s wrong. More likely it’s “The beach house is old and dirty and moldy”. Oh well, that’s not the point.

  170. Notebooked
    October 5th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    “The thingy came off”, “the knob is broken”…it’s too easy. So easy that I’m not even going to call attention to it by saying it’s too easy. Wait, dammit.

  171. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 5th, 2012 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    So this “thingy” walked into a bar, and the bartender said:

    1) You know, this isn’t a gay bar, right?
    2) Rex Morgan was just looking for you!
    3) So. It has come to this!
    4) I have a great idea for a cartoon. Wanna hear it?
    5) Mumpsimus!
    6) You know, we have an inflatable coccyx named after you?
    7) Leeeroy Jenkins!

  172. With Cat As My CEO
    October 5th, 2012 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#27): Glitter dust is de rigueur for burlesque performers. I have a box of different colors. Oddly enough, the line of sewing trims sold for Disney princess wanna-be little girls also works brilliantly for burlesque costumes. What this says about Western civilization these days I prefer not to contemplate too deeply.

  173. True Fable
    October 5th, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    Naw, June’s proud. Rex recognized a ‘thingie’! He really did earn that medical degree from the University of Galapagos!

  174. Archivalist
    October 6th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    RMMD: It’s more like, “The knob is broken!” And June thinks “Yeah, don’t I know it.”

  175. Readem and Laf
    October 8th, 2012 at 5:04 am [Reply]

    MT & JP
    I didn’t read these two strips for two months and what happens? The whole Judge Parker, “Oh what a weekend that was” has blown over. Mark Trail is still a solitary he-man leaving June at home.

    Meanwhile, back at the ranch, everyone is losing cameras and it’s all tied into murderous dope dealers. The first day I read both, it was, “Someone stole my camera and tried to kill me (and/or an animal)”, and everything — money, violence, mayhem, etc., results from growing and smuggling pot.

    I hate to imagine what monsters the local chemo ward produces.

  176. Readem and Laf
    October 8th, 2012 at 5:09 am [Reply]

    MT & JP
    P.S., Getting into and out of small cabins deep in the woods without being caught matters greatly.

    And the boss keeps important areas guarded. Who knew?

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