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He’s like an evil, mirror-universe version of Doc

Mark Trail, 10/25/12

How hard has everyone instantly fallen in love with Ol’ Pop, the kindly patriarch of this nest of heavily armed thugs? Very hard, I’m guessing! I’m looking forward to the fun as he and Mark get to know each other. “How long have you been in this guerrilla band, Pop?” “We’re not a band of anything, son! Certainly not anything political like ‘guerrillas,’ which implies some sort of political or ideological goals. We’re just poor peasants trying to get rich by seizing Americans at gunpoint if they happen to sail too close to our village and then holding them for ransom! Now shut up and don’t touch anything in my hut or I’ll slit your throat.”

Momma, 10/25/12

“Man, I sure wish Momma would cut it out with the gross Oedipal schtick and find another direction for its sexuality-themed jokes,” said all readers of the strip until they read today’s installment and then collapsed in gibbering horror.

Family Circus, 10/25/12

“I’m leaning towards angel, because to be a saint you have to be really, really good, but to be an angel you only have to be regular-level good and also dead.”

Spider-Man, 10/25/12

I may poke fun at the journalistic bona fides of J. Jonah Jameson, Peter Parker, and the Daily Bugle here, but you have to admit that they’re doing better than the people over at the Las Vegas Vista. “Holy crap, chief,” said the top political reporter, “There’s going to be a presidential election in just a few weeks! Let’s get a news story on today’s front page! I’ll do some research and have a feature on who exactly the candidates are for Sunday.”

Apartment 3-G, 10/25/12

“And I prefer to call it 180 pounds of confidence! Are you the one behind all those ‘Is Greg Cooper packing on the pounds’ items in Walter Scott’s Personality Parade? What the hell kind of publicist are you?”

Crankshaft, 10/25/12

Jeff’s mom has met a courtly gigolo, in what is probably the single most cheerful Funkyverse development in recent memory.

Marmaduke, 10/25/12

Do you know who else was a failed artist?

305 responses to “He’s like an evil, mirror-universe version of Doc”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Watch Your Head

    Question of the day: Who watches the neighborhood watchmen?

  2. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    MW: Jim has just realized his hobby of being a serial killer is going to be seriously hampered by the loss of his arm. He’s going to need to get a hook or something.

    Pooch Cafe: Hilarious!!

  3. Schteev
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Thank heavens the Las Vegas Vista is covering the story of the PRESIDEL ELECTION because I don’t think I’ve heard anything about the election of a new Presidel anywhere else. Presidents? You can get a new one every 4 years. But Presidels? They’re as rare as actual heroics in Spider-Man.

  4. Felix Margay
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    RxMD: “That’s nice, Sid, but Rex and I are strictly boats and cash people.”

  5. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    MW-Don’t worry all Dawn is to do is invoke Mary Worth’s name and Mary shall come and protect Dawn.

    MT-That poor man thinking that Mark is his son. Of course that is understandable since everyone looks like Mark.

    MT 2-”We’re not a band. Bands have instruments.”

    RMMD-Sid is hungry and it’s not for the seafood clam.

    JP-Nothing like destroying the nature you love so dear so the person you like won’t be in the criminal business anymore.

    Spiderman-I shall use this as bait in my plan to make Kraven look like he’s gone back to being a criminal again.

  6. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    I’m looking forward with great anticipation to Momma’s descent into bestiality.

  7. Chareth Cutestory
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Oh no!! Mark has been taken to an island where everyone has one tiny baby hand!

  8. Little Blue Bicycle
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    M: In his previous life, Marmaduke was Hermann Goering. Next week he puts on a pink uniform and bombs the East End.

    MT: Look it’s a whal…oh, never mind.

  9. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    FC: You’re an angel, Dolly. But then, so is Lucifer.

    JP: I love that look in Bubba’s eyes in the second panel. Six more days until Halloween – that’s plenty of time to rev up that chainsaw! Does Bubba have a Jackson Pollack in his art collection? That one might be less prone than the Picassos to be noticeably damaged by all the blood splattering. And please tell me that the fish in that tank are piranha, to dispose of the pieces of the body!

    MT: “We’re just a group of peasants, son, not a band of anything!” That’s disappointing, because I was so hoping we would get to see Pop unleash a Jimi-Hendrix-meets-Lawrence-Welk riff on a Bender Blaster.

  10. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Luann – Reading Luann is like rooting for the Cubs or Dolphins or Sacramento Kings. You know that the entire structure of the universe is such that you will never (again) win, that the season will always end with some crushing defeat – usually in the regular season when your team is eliminated from playoff contention, but occasionally you will be allowed to come tantalizingly close to post-season glory before being snuffed out in heart-breaking fashion.

    Such is Luann. We know that the evil Ann Eiffel will be exposed and forced to slink off once again in disgrace. That TJ’s plan will triumph and that he will bask in the glory. But until that inevitable day occurs, we can pretend that, this time, Ann will follow-up today’s strip with an announcement that TJ needs to follow her into the back, where the nice man from the FTC is wrapping up his investigation into his sales tactics, and his friend from the FBI has a few questions of his own about the source of TJ’s large cash deposits into his offshore account, right after the nice lady from the IRS finishes with her questions about his last 7 years of tax returns.

  11. wossname
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Phantom – Devil and the horse exchange conspiratorial glances. “OK, he’s breaking the fourth wall and thought-ballooning at the readers. He’s finally snapped. Now’s the time to make our move.”

    RMMD – Sid looks like Wilbur. Bet June’s fried clams are served with mayonnaise on Wonder bread™.

    H&L – If Dot looks that world-weary and disgusted after learning that babies are slobs, imagine what’s going to happen when she encounters the real world.

    @Droopy Says (#Y245): Re JP, I really don’t think they’ve told us where the pot farm and trout stream are, although there’s been much speculation here. I’ve been thinking all along they’re out west – not saying that’s right, just that I haven’t seen anything in the strip itself indicating otherwise.

    And that reminds me of something I’ve been meaning to ask/point out – Was it really only yesterday in strip time that Avery and Sam signed the contract and headed for the fishing lodge? Anybody remember what date that was in real life?

  12. Escape Zeppelin
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Just when I though the Funkeyverse couldn’t get anymore depressing we’re going to have a storyline about old ladies scammed out of their money and the failing minds of your elderly loved ones.

  13. Mark B.
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    The generic headline in Amazing Spider Man is because they are planning to run this strip again in 2016 and 2020. Hell, how do we know this strip wasn’t previously run in 1972?

  14. Midtown
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    FW: So the Fairgoods were swingers back in the day. Who knew? Apparently the adoption agency didn’t find out.

  15. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    A match made in Heaven Hell Somewhere: Jeff’s mom and Dr. Zachary Smith from Lost in Space.

    (“Oh, the pain! Save me, William!”)

  16. Hibbleton
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    ASM: That can’t be Vegas. No one on the sidewalk is handing out cards for a strip club.

  17. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    RMMD- “Free lunch? That’s it? Look, mister, I spit on your free lunch! If I don’t get at least a free yacht for adding a few hours to that old lady’s expected life span, then there is going to be trouble. My lawyer, Sam Driver, will be here within hours, just as soon as he wraps up his contract negotiations for a multi-million dollar movie deal he won for some Judge who fell off a roof!”

    “Oh, you know someone who knows the Judge? He is America’s greatest hero! The way he fell …. off a roof!! Why didn’t you tell me before!? Will this suitcase full of cash ease your concerns?”

    “Well, it’s a start. Call it a down payment.”

  18. Mr. Smith
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Josh, why do you keep referring to Momma’s relationship with her children as “oedipal”? “Oedipal” would imply that they have sexual feelings for her, when it is clearly the other way around. A more appropriate term to describe the sick sexual feelings in the strip would be “Jocastal”, named after Oedipus’s mother Jocasta.

  19. tb4000
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    RMMD: He look like a Miami lounge lizard schlub, but a free meal’s a free meal, said June, as she shoved her lone bare shoulder closer to his glistening combover.

  20. Christopher
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: The editors at the Las Vegas Vista have announced that a legendary diamond tiara is on display, but don’t need to say where, since Las Vegas is such a small town that the obvious place for such a display would be the local barber shop.

  21. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Marm: well played, Josh, well played. *applaz*

  22. jvwalt
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Aww, how quaint. Peter Parker does his crime-fightin’ research by leafing through a copy of the local newspaper! Y’know, Spider-Man would be utterly useless against a secret cabal, unless the local paper got wind of it and splashed “SECRET CABAL THREATENS CITY” across its front page.

  23. Digger
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    MT: Elrod’s motivation for doing this storyline is that he’s gotten bored with drawing giant ducks and squirrels and wants to switch it up with some humungous marine life.

  24. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    To punish Marmaduke for his impertinence, Phil Hitler pulls a “van Gogh” and cuts off the hellhound’s nose with a razor blade…

  25. Dr. Dread
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Oh, we’re not a band of anything. Sure, we have a jam session every week down at the coffee shop and I play a pretty mean steel drum, but you need a bassist to be a real band. Do you play bass, Mr. Trail?

  26. Dave Hardy
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Ya know, Pop looks a lot like Hector Salamanca, I wonder if he’ll pee on the floor?

  27. pugfuggly
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    MT Let’s run through the standardl Mark Trail logic here:

    (1) All villains that appear in this strip are completely unsympathetic. Ergo, Commandante Pop, Senor Mustache and their rag-tag band of fighters cannot be villains.

    (2) If a character in this strip isn’t a villain, they are a friend of Mark’s. Ergo, these two will inevitably win him over and become his friends.

    (3) Mark helps out his friends, no matter what they do. In this case, his (soon-to-be) friends are leading an uprising against a banana-republic despot.

    Take this all together and we can confidently predict that within a month, MARK TRAIL IS GOING TO BE INVADING A CARIBBEAN ISLAND WITH THE INTENTION OF WAGING GUERRILLA WARFARE WITH HIS FISTS!!! Could this be the most awesome things ever? I am inclined to answer: yes.

  28. pastordan, lazy professor
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Comics curmudgeon: reaching Reductio ad Hitlerum since 2012.

  29. Jonny Quest
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    JP: Solar fields? Go back to the chainsaw, Bubba. Avery is a green energy Obama groupie. You be bankrupt in a year.

  30. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    CdS: anime, explained.

    GF: mmmm, basketvole.

    LIO: NSFBG!!!!!!!

    PBS: there’s a trope for that.

    SBp: unclear on the concept. Either that, or they’re on loan from MT.

    Zits: *snurk*

    Bizarro: eeeeek!

    JUMBLE: too easy.

    MG&G: covering up the Cane Corso in leather collars magazines.

    RMMD: no good deed goes unrewared with free stuff in the Rexiverse!

    Pluggers: that’s young and pretty in the Pluggerverse. furrys wept.

    6Cx: crazy cat lady in 3,2,1. . .

    SFx: the raccoon is the actual guilty party in both panels.

  31. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . when the next-day-shipping shows up.

  32. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    umm, here’s the missing ‘d’ for my RMMD comment above.


  33. Doctor Handsome
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    “I don’t reckon you could rightly call us a band, young fella. We hardly know but three chords. And the gorillas got no rhythm ‘tall!”

  34. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    FC-Angel. I haven’t heard of any strippers named Saint.

  35. Marc
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    9CL- Brooke is spending too much time with Donald Trump.

    A3G- Greg’s confidence/ego is all a front. Margo’s 200 lb comment will make him think he’s fat. It’s just a matter of whether tomorrow’s strip features Greg in the bathroom kicking off his bout with bulemia or him at the kitchen table stuffing his face. “200 pounds? She thinks I’m fat. Well I’ll show her fat!”

    Mark Trail- “Oh son, we have not been a band of anything since our trumpet player was swallowed by a humpback whale.”

    Mary Worth- It’s a good thing that Dawn never actually bothered to go put any food on her plate, otherwise she’d have a bit of a mess on her hands.

    Funky- It’s beyond creepy how much Darrin’s parent’s look alike.

    Luann- Hey look everyone, there’s another designated good guy doing something unethical for the sole purpose of humiliating the designated bad guy. But it’s ok because their roles are assigned and not dependent on their actual behavior.

    Cranky- Well it seems that Jeff’s miserable old mother has found some sliver of happiness. Better stamp that out right away.

  36. Ethan Shuster
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Can’t believe I’m giving a lesson in religion here, but for the record, by many accounts angels are not in fact the ghosts of dead people. They are a unique entity all by themselves.

    Sorry, I don’t have anything snarky to say. :)

  37. McManx
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Love is… — This week has been progressive stages of having a baby, except that they left out the pregnancy phase. I guess “Love is … barfing, bloating, and unspeakable pain” would be a little hard to illustrate.

    Mary Worth — Now we know where this plot is heading. Jim sees Dawn as an arm donor.

    Rex Morgan — Sid bears a resemblance to Avery in Judge Parker. Or perhaps Sid is Avery, in witness protection after testifying against Bubba.

    Family Circus — “Oh Dot, you left out martyr. That’s what you should aspire to, honey.”

    Marmaduke — If Marmaduke had been Hitler’s dog, we’d all be speaking German right now. No, wait. Actually, we’d all likely be a pile of bones under the Reichshundhaus.

  38. Cloudbuster
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Luann: I pretty much can’t help but root for Ann Eiffel. Even if she is, implausibly, a petty crook, TJ’s scheme is so bizarre and creepy it makes me shudder.

    ASM: So far this entire scheme is in Peter’s mind. He’s stalking Kraven even though there’s been no evidence other than “Hey, he’s Kraven!” that he’s planning to commit a crime. He’s picked out a target just because he saw it in the paper — he has no actual indication Kraven’s interested in it. It’s not like there’s nothing else in Las Vegas to steal.

    A3G: There seems to be some mechanism as yet unexplained in the world of A3G that requires people to bring their business to Margo no matter how rude she is to them.

    JP: You know where they don’t build solar farms? In the mountains, that’s where.

    MT: Holy crap! Doc, what are you doing here? And why are they calling you “Pop?” Plus, my mind is exploding about the caucasian folksy peasants who don’t seem to have any moral problem with the necessary violence involved in being armed pirates and kidnappers.

    MW: Don’t worry, Dawn. He has to let go of your arm as soon as his nose starts to itch. Also: PSYCHO! RUN! (But what’s actually going through Dawn’s head is “Aww, he’s just hurting me because he cares about me. Just like Dave used to do.”)

    RMMD: The time honored tradition of throwing cash, goods and services at Rex and June continues unabated.

  39. lorne
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    I love that the simple group of armed peasant/pirates appear to be doing a much better job protecting the whales and other endangered wildlife of their area than Mark and the rangers ever do out at the Lost Forest Park.

  40. pugfuggly
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    ASM The Las Vegas Vista: all headlines, no annoying articles to read!

    A3G Remember, men: the best way to show off your confidence is to hunch over like a silverback and leer sideways and potential mates.

    Crankshaft “We met over the internet. It’s an incredible story, actually. He’s a deposed Nigerian prince, and…”

  41. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    FW-We had an orgasmic good time there. It was orgitastic. We had sex in that apartment. Lots and lots of sex. Sometimes we would even have sex with each other.

  42. The Ghost of Jarrod
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    JP – I believe this calls for a 10th-Doctor style “What?”

    PBS – Yes they are, Goat. Yes they are.

    Cirque de la Famille – I think Dolly would make a great Saint. Let’s martyr her, right away!

    HtH – It’s entirely fitting that the only part of Hägar’s bloody, successful revolution against the King of Norway that we get to see is Helga complaining about the spoils of war.

  43. Droopy Says
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#11): I think it was just yesterday in JP time that Sam and Avarice met, and all that. Avarice appeared in mid-May, so that sounds about right for one day in this strip.

    Right now I want to see Avery die. Okay, I know it’s Bubba who’ll die when he fires up the chainsaw (I expect a cave-in; we all know how vulnerable reinforced underground bunkers are). But I want to imagine Avery screaming “No! You’ll get blood on the Picasso!” as the chain saw makes its first cut. And for his last words, let him quote Nelson: “Kiss me, Hardy.”

  44. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Love Is-Before the birth parent comes back from changing their mind about the adoption.

  45. Rusty
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Momma: It starts innocently with the woodland critters, but takes a turn to the hardcore with gerbils.

  46. Rusty
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    MT: How did all the gringoes end up on the tiny impoverished island?

  47. Droopy Says
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke: One of Hitler’s last acts was to have his dog, Blondi, poisoned. So put down the brush, Phil, and pick up the cyanide.

  48. Runar
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: “And if you don’t like it, he’ll sabotage your spaceship and program the Robot to kill your family.”

  49. DarkfireTaimatsu
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Oh, don’t tell Diamond Tiara she’s legendary. It’ll go right to her head and she’ll rub it in the Crusaders’ faces.

  50. pastordan, lazy professor
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]


    The Amazing Spider-Man: Another clever ploy to get mudges off Spidey’s ass until election day.

    Apt. 3-G: And I call it 200 pounds of pocket…okay, better not.

    Judge Parker: Crap, Sam’s going to come busting in here any minute now and demand a third-party economic analysis comparing lowered profit expectations on a solar farm to increased earning potential due to a lack of federal incarceration. This could take weeks, if not months, of sober legal proceedings to figure out. Sam will have dollar signs in his eyes, of course, and Avery will be sexing up Bea and possibly Bubba, but I don’t think the locals will like where they wind up with the city slickers.

    Today on Mark Trail: seagulls talking to artist’s logos. This is about as normal as it gets for Mark, give or take the odd St. Bernard with a taste for human flesh.

    Mary Worth: Dawn’s face seems to have collapsed into itself, centered right between the eyes. I think this is meant to indicate heightened emotion.

    Pibgorn: Does anyone else think Brooke should just use Facebook, or – God forbid – a phone call, to update his mother on how things are going?

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: I’m reasonably confident the owner of this restaurant will want to watch June eat lunch. Watch…every…bite. It’s not too much to ask, is it?

  51. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    MT – “I am contractually obligated to deny that we are a guerilla band! We tried to form a cartoon band called The Guerrillas, but that apparently infringed too closely on the name of another cartoon band. So we went underground and re-named ourselves the Peoples’ Revolutionary Quartet.”

    @jvwalt (#22):

    “Secret cabal? Boy there wasn’t any secret about them! Everyone here knew! I did, and my wife, she knew too! She was with me and I remarked on them! I said ‘Look, Marta, here comes the cabal!’”

    “It’s true, he did!”

  52. terrapin
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    MW: “Why should you give advice to me, Jim? I survived a shipwreck without losing an arm!”

    MT: “We’re not guerrillas! And we’ll kill anyone who says we are!”

  53. pastordan, lazy professor
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Dave Hardy (#26): Oh, Hector didn’t pee on the floor…

    Also? Ding. Ding ding ding!!!

  54. Not Just Any Dipstick
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Spidey, I am not at all clear on what a ‘PRESIDE’ election is. Should I be?

  55. Doctor Handsome
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Remember how in crappy 80′s sitcoms, a news report or commercial that was spookily relevant to the characters’ current dilemma would come on the TV just as they were talking about it? Peter Parker sure does, and opening a local newspaper to a random page is exactly his brand of detective work.

  56. RichterCa
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Spider-man – Wait, is that a Klimt on the back page of the Las Vegas Vista?

  57. LP2004
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#50): I remember that Doonesbury strip, although I’d prefer not to think about how long ago it ran.

  58. bunivasal
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Don’t look now, Parker, butI think you got on the wrong bus. Judging by all the blue people milling around, you’re in Charterstone.

    Leading to the greatest matchup in newspaper comic history! Spiderman vs Mary Worth!

  59. Voshkod
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    The coup caught the State Department and the CIA completely off-guard. The White House Press Secretary looked quite nervous the next day, trying to explain it all. “At this time, we just do not have much information. All communications with the capital have been cut off. The last transmission was garbled. Our translators tell us that they heard the words Viva Wildlife! and the sound of many, many, animals, just before El Presidente‘s speech was terminated. All Americans are warned to avoid travel to this newly-named Republic of San Marco Trail.”

  60. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    MT: “We’re not a band or anything. We just get together on the weekend and jam.”

    A3G: Margo’s warming up. Greg may get that three-way with her and Evan after all.

    Momma: Francis is in for a surprise when he next surfs the human/animal porn sites and sees one starring his sister.

    S-M: Something glitzy and expensive is being showcased in Las Vegas. Well that certainly proves something. Also the staff of this newspaper are starting to confirm reports that there will in fact be a presidential election this year.

    MW: We’ll know that Jim has really blown it with Dawn if she gets up and actually finds some volunteer work to do.

    FW: Wha? She had a false pregnancy in the apartment? That’s Westview for you.

    9CL: No you wouldn’t.

    BC: The four wheels concept was abandoned after three days of nose-to-ass traffic.

    JP: Avery shows himself to be a supreme negotiator when his opposite number has his finger on the trigger of a chainsaw. When facing an unarmed dullard like Sam he’s just kinda whatever.

    RMMD: “Hell, it would be an honor to sign over the deed to the house. It’s not something I’d usually do, but you and your husband’s superior genes compel me.”

    H&L: Congratulations to whatever member of the Walker-Browne conglomerate is responsible for Dot’s perfect “ugh, babies are disgusting” look.

    DT: The whole “man to man” thing makes Honey Moon’s thank seem very arch. Regardless of who’s writing him, Dick seems deaf to irony.

    Shoe: Cosmo Fishhawk relates the powerful story of how he was tasered at an advance screening.

    Luann: If only all entrapment schemes were as inept as this one seems to be.

  61. buzzard
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Wow, Dolly’s face is especially repugnant today. Something about the way the arc of her nose matches that of her eyebrows. And her single nostril. Euugh.

  62. fillmoreeast
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    SM: I also admire the Vista’s headline writers. “Presidential Election? Nah, that first word’s too long. Try ‘President’ … no? Ah, screw it, just do “Preside” and a vertical line. Our idiot readers will just skip over it while they look for buffet coupons anyay.”

  63. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#57):

    I was 6 at the time, and my father had just returned from his third tour as a B-52 pilot. I don’t recall him commenting on the secret bombings, however.

  64. Dood
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#9): You know, Mark Trail is actually tolerable if you imagine a Bill-and-Ted-like air guitar riff after every panel.

  65. Greg
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    MT: “You’ll be staying in Pop’s hut! Don’t worry about the wild pitching and heaving–we just decided to build it on top of a humpback whale! I wouldn’t bother with tomorrow’s continental breakfast, though! Because of the vomit!”

  66. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    FC: Cripes, are there any Keane kids who don’t have a death wish? PJ maybe, but that’s only because he hasn’t been through the preschool gauntlet.

    M-Dawg: Not only is Phil a failed painter, he’s got the Schicklegruber body language going today as well. Somebody do another retitle of that “Downfall” scene.

  67. Doctor Handsome
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    The only way this makes any kind of sense is if they’re humoring her delusions like an incredibly low-rent Shutter Island, in hopes that she can tell them where Momma’s buried.

  68. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#50):

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: I’m reasonably confident the owner of this restaurant will want to watch June eat lunch. Watch…every…bite. It’s not too much to ask, is it?

    This may have been before you started hanging out here, but Josh once reproduced a panel of June eating toast. It was pretty hot stuff.

  69. Dood
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Isn’t the Las Vegas Vista among those free publications that are handed out to highlight the many forms of adult entertainment available to tourists?

  70. Dood
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#66): “Anyone who doesn’t read Marmaduke, please leave the room.”

  71. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#5):

    RMMD-Sid is hungry and it’s not for the seafood clam.

    Actually it is, in a manner of speaking.

  72. Austria
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Momma: It’s like a far less amusing version of Hatoful Boyfriend.

    Zits: This, however, is pretty great.

  73. Doctor Handsome
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    “This is beyond the pale, Greg. I got into this business to represent famous actors, not cocky narcissists!”

  74. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Momma-Wake me when she moves up to horses.

  75. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    AD – One wheel good. Four wheels bad.

    Crankshaft – Writing checks to Dr. Smith. Rose is lost in space.

    Judge – Yes, Bubba, Avery’s kind of a jerk, but you can’t just chainsaw yourself out of everything.

  76. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Lio – Yeah, why not? The Cheery Reaper!

    love is… …an instant family, thanks to some nanny’s moment of non-vigilance in the park.

    Non Seq – Wiley’s repeating himself.

  77. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    If that’s the Mirror Universe Pop, then is our pink-shirted kidnapper the Mirror Universe Mark?

  78. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#y230): Well, if someone mentions Roy Lichtenstein

    @John C Fremont (#y237): I still smile at the example my German textbook gave of the difference between ‘heißen’ and ‘sein’: “Er heißt Oskar Meier. Er ist Wiener.”

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#y246): I think the Pennsylvania location was inferred from the shape of the road signs back when they were driving in, which vaguely resembled the Keystone State logo.
    I assumed that meant they were within the corporate limits of a company town owned by Big Ketchup.

    Josh“Man, I sure wish Momma would cut it out with the gross Oedipal schtick and find another direction for its sexuality-themed jokes,” said all readers of the strip until they read today’s installment and then collapsed in gibbering horror.
    Nah. I still think it’s less gross to imagine fucking a bird or a squirrel than Sonya Hobbs.

  79. LP2004
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#63): By that point my father’s all-expenses-paid tour of Southeast Asia (flying C-130s) was a few years in the past.

  80. Leifr
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    FC. I would rather her be a saint. They are usually martyred.

  81. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    doe-eyed innocence.

    Lio’s potion results, IRL.

    Mrs Sequitur.

    bebbeh otterz in a blankie. *brainmush^4*

    sand cats, anime IRL.

    I .gif you corgi pronks.

    corgsqui @ 4 wks.

  82. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    and just a random addition, deerhound eyes.

  83. Bill Peschel
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Penny Arcade comments on the Harry Potter attraction at Universal theme park and some of the commenters drag in Gasoline Alley and Josh.

    (Punchline: “I had to awesome this, but in truth I must point out: Even Josh Fruhlinger doesn’t give a shit about Gasoline Alley.”)

  84. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#79):

    Ah, the euphemisms. Mom always said dad was “stationed in Thailand” rather than use the “V” word (though she was technially correct – the best kind of correct), and dad still refers to it as “community service”.

  85. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    A3G-”I call it confidence which is something that most of the people you deal with don’t have.”

  86. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke-”Listen, Davey, I’m not criticizing your artwork. I’m just saying that the souls of the damned that I’ve devoured could look better.”

  87. LP2004
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#84): Actually, the euphemism was mine. Dad’s never been shy about saying exactly where he spent most of that year. Officially, his squadron was stationed in the Philippines – had to stay out of MACV’s clutches somehow.

  88. 555 95472
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#27):

    (4) In Mark Trail, facial hair is a sign of evil. Therefore, Senor Moustache will behave reprehensibly until his moustache is either:

    A) shaved off, or

    B) just mysteriously evaporates, as is true of his now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t chest hair.

  89. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    FC-I’d go for sinner because they have more fun.

  90. Nekrotzar
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    So the Vista‘s layout department has a kid doing headlines by just writing it out with a permanent marker, getting to the right margin, and then squeezing in the last few letters into a tiny space. I would have expected Vegas’s middle school journalism club to be better funded than that.

  91. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    S-M: But Kraven isn’t the stealing-stuff kind of villain. He gets his jollies from hunting the most dangerous prey… superhumans. Then again, with his fierce fur-trimmed lion-face vest, that tiara would look FAAAABULOOOUS!!!

  92. Northernlurker
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    MT: for simple poor peasants their English is better than expected. Maybe Mark moves in with Señorita Mom Jeans and forgets Cherry.

  93. Pozzo
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    According to the front page of The Las Vegas Vista, one of the presidential candidates would appear to be a Spirograph drawing.

  94. Voshkod
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Mark walked steadily through the courtyard of the Presidential Palace, his feet kicking aside spent casings. The seagulls were picking at the corpses of the Presidential Guard, but that didn’t bother Mark. The circle of life, nature red in tooth and claw. The aphorisms came easily (and somewhat oddly emphasized) to him, not that he needed such simple slogans to calm his conscience. A pack of feral dogs and a large brown bear, just liberated from the zoo, awaited him. His Presidential Guard. One that would never falter.

    El Presidente,” Pop said. “You have visitors, visitors from the United States.” He eyed the dogs and bear uneasily, wondering what his son had unleashed on this quiet nation. He’d seen the animals following Trail to war, even the whales, watched their gray bulks smash the tiny gunboats of the Navy.

    “I’ll see them in the council chamber,” Mark said. “And remember, Pop,” he said, motioning to a gibbet covered in gulls. “That is El Presidente. Just call me Mark.”

  95. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-A tiara? I always figured Kraven would be the sort to rob the Liberace Museum.

  96. kim
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    I’d like to point out that even with Peter’s hand covering a portion of the newspaper, there’s not room enough for the word ‘presidential.’ So the Las Vegas Vista is boldly proclaiming, “President Election!” Not to good with the grammar over in Vegas, apparently. Also, in the first panel, Margo seems to have turned into a kindly woman in her fifties.

  97. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke is aghast at the painted depiction of his own graphic savegery… painted in the very blood of his victims!

    Confronted with the terror, he could resolve to end his reign of horror over all other animals. He could turn vegan and be content to chew nuts, carrots and grains. He could. Or he could simply turn and eat the artist.

  98. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Josh: You have to be dead to be a saint, too.

  99. XenaFan
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    AS-M: Nothing there to interest Kraven? Are you kidding me? Paying attention to the presidential debate all the way through, without zoning out even once, would be his “greatest challenge!”

  100. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    MT: Welcome to my cabin! It is only a foot or two above sea level, so it floods at high tide. Any storm that comes by instantly whips off the thatch roof and it takes about a month to replace it. It is ours to share!

  101. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#38):

    Re: MT – I thought he WAS Doc!

  102. annieLurk
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    JP – Randy and April, who owns the most awesome firepower in this cast, will swoop in to save the day. Then there will be an actual Judge Parker showing up.

    Of course, Avery and Bea are destined to wed. This was obvious, when Bea first appeared in the story. Bea and Avery are of an age and have similar body types (although we have yet to see Avery’s man-boobs.)

    But I digress. To complete this happy family compound Avery and Sam will throw Peaches and a couple of Abby’s Arabians into the deal.

  103. terrapin
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#81):Do you know how hard it’s going to be to explain to my wife that I got fired because I couldn’t stop watching a corgi jump up and down?

  104. Poteet
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#Y235): I like that — thanks for sharing.

  105. Illustrator Steve
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    MT – “Say Pop. Is that a ‘RIGHT WHALE’?”
    “No, son. If it were a RIGHT WHALE it would know better than to be in a comic strip that’s as WRONG as this one is!”

  106. Mikey
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    MW: Geez Jim, try a more disarming approach.

  107. Felix Margay
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#35), @lorne (#39), @Greg (#65) & @Voshkod (#94): I always thought the giant animals in Mark Trail were the camouflaged vehicles in which reality TV camera crews hid.

  108. Poteet
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    MOMMA — I can understand why she broke up with the bluebird. Bluebirds often migrate through “woods,” but they can’t nest in them — they need open grasslands with scattered trees and shrubs. The affair with the squirrel should work out better.

  109. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    SM: Kraven has three jobs. He has to train his tigers, promote his show and find time to steal a heavily guarded tiara. I expect he’ll be pretty good at multi-tasking all three. Peter Parker is a photojournalist and superhero, and sucks mightily at both.

    When this is done, JJJ is going to offer Kraven a job that pays way more than Parker’s.

  110. Calico
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    CS – Haha, old cranky Rose is actually a Round-Heeled Woman! Who would have thought?

  111. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @Midtown (#14): Or the adoption agency found out and just didn’t care. Cancer, cancer, cancer!

  112. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#27): Guerrilla warfare? Those fists are more like WMD!

  113. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Momma: … but the cute squirrel keeps talking about sticking his nuts in a hole. Is it supposed to work that way?

  114. Mibbitmaker
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Late and busy… oversnarpologies….

    Marmaduke, meta: Aw, I was going to guess Donna Lewis!

    Crank: Looks more like some con man may be using her as a sucker, exploiting elderly women. Really, just par for the course in depressingland.

    Mark: “Okay then, you are crooks!”
    Pops: “I am not a crook!”

    FC: More like an ain’t, Dolly.

    A3G: That’s not the normal Margo. She’s now being played by various creepy Dingburg pinheads in a Margo wig.

    Momma: EVERYBODY SING! ~
    ‘Cause she’s got –
    YIKES! Beastiality
    YECCH! Beastiality
    GROSS! Beastiality
    EEWW! Beastiality…

  115. Calico
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Ugh, Dolly is either perfecting her audition for “Toddlers and Tiaras”, or a remake of Amy Winehouse’s video of “Rehab.”

    MT – um, didn’t we have an island colony story a while back?

  116. A New Day
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    MT: So far the main difference between Mark’s Lost Forest and this bizzaro-world Lost Island family seems to be an increased tendency by the islanders to chattiness. I look forward to watching alt-Cherry awkwardly try to seduce mustachioed alt-Mark, while alt-Randy begs him to go on a hunting trip. They will make these attempts with a lot of down-home, folksy chatter, but they will still fail, while alt-Mark takes down some island fat cat with a two hour speech and a nice, solid punch to the jaw.

  117. Poteet
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    FC — Of course I know the melonheads have bigger heads than their parents, but for some reason today’s strip really reminded me. And Dolly’s grotesque calves and stubby arms, eww. Dunno about the saint/angel thing, Dolly, but you won’t need a costume to scare people on Halloween.

  118. Pozzo
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Las Vegas — where referees wear their hats backwards.

  119. Alfred E. Neuman
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    MT— Mark’s captors show him what will happen if he attempts to escape. They will issue him a cetacean.

  120. Santa Royale With Cheese
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    JP: Avery couldn’t negotiate a deal on Priceline.

  121. Santa Royale With Cheese
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

  122. Calico
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Greg (#65):
    Funny you mention whale puke – I was thinking about Ambergris yesterday -someone here mentioned that dear Conrad the skunk maybe would start shitting Ambergris for Sam on demand; also I read a few weeks ago that a kid in the UK found a huge chunk of it on the beach. Lucky him.

    Speakig of Conrad, where is our fine striped friend?

  123. Dale
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]


    Pirate Leader will turn out to be a decent guy who is just trying to help his people by any means possible.
    Why does he insult the nice old man by referring to his home, however humble it may be, as a “hut”?

  124. Poteet
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — I’d find this development much more heartwarming if I could remember Jeff’s mom ever showing herself to be anything besides a royal pain in the rear. DOONESBURY isn’t perfect, but it has featured some over-sixty characters over the years who were neither cloyingly-sweet old cliches nor unbearably-crabby old cliches, just people who happened to be old. If Batiuk has ever managed that, I don’t remember seeing it.

  125. The Modesto Kid
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    1. Saints also have to be dead. 2. Wouldn’t it be great if Pop’s band of peasant guerrillas turn out to have a pot farm, and chainsaws and modern art?

  126. Poteet
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    MT — I wait with anticipation to see if the “hut” will be able to stay the same from day to day or even panel to panel. My bet is no.

  127. Poteet
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    MT — I’m also wondering, based on the strips we’ve seen so far, if there’s something about this part of the Caribbean that causes people to bend over more than usual.

  128. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Ethan Shuster (#36): Can’t believe I’m giving a lesson in religion here, but for the record, by many accounts angels are not in fact the ghosts of dead people. They are a unique entity all by themselves.

    And some people say unicorns have a straight, smooth horn, but others say the horn has spiral grooves in it.

  129. Northernlurker
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    JP: Meanwhile, back at Spencer Farms, a bored and horny Abby invites April over for a little wine.

  130. Stroker Ace
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft – Dr. Smith is treating her female hysteria. Nothing like a toe-curling hysterical paroxysm to cure what ails you!

  131. Mary Worthless
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Saint Mary knows how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

    Just ask her.

  132. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#109): SM: Kraven has three jobs. He has to train his tigers, promote his show and find time to steal a heavily guarded tiara.

    Sigh. Yes, you’re probably right. But in the real world, wouldn’t being a renowned tiger trainer, successful Vegas showman, and discoverer of a miracle drug in a lost jungle be enough for a person? Why mess with a heavily guarded tiara anyway?

  133. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    MT: If this is evil, alt-universe Doc, then where is his goatee? We saw evil, alt-universe Cherry already. She didn’t have a goatee. She shaved. Down there. You could tell. By the pants. Yes, I looked. I recommend that you don’t.

  134. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Can anyone explain why Jeff Redfern in Doonesbury is facing a parade of repo men this week? I thought the Red Rascal franchise was in high gear.

  135. Comrade Dread
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    If Mark Trail were really concerned about nature, he should have probably have tried to stop that “Jack Elrod” person from defacing the moon with a giant laser.

  136. Midtown
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    FC: That sounds like something Honey Boo-Boo would say, maybe with some expletives added.

  137. Chip Whittle
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Sure, you laugh at Peter Parker, correctly, but I think you have to credit Las Vegas Mark Trail for realizing that the Presiden Election and the Diamond Tiara would make a good story!

    Meanwhile in Funky Winkerbean, I can’t get enough of people I don’t know showing a place they didn’t live on-screen to people I don’t care about.

  138. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#119): Ooh. Ooh. Best comment of the day!

    // So far. Of course.

  139. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    So this cetacean walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “You’re a right whale, aren’t you?”
    And the whale says yes, and the bartender says, “You know this is a gay bar, Mr. Right?”
    And the whale says, “That’s okay, I’m a Log Cabin Whale.”

  140. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Not much going on in the comics today.

    One of the Morgans is offered free stuff – not the one that did anything, the other one.

    Gen. Halftrack hates Lt. Fuzz.

    A Family Circus kid makes a religious reference.

    Peter Parker does nothing.

    Oh, here’s an unusual one: Margo attempts to belittle the boorish male, but he nonchalantly zings it back at her!

  141. LurkerMan
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Clown-9! Clown-9! Dear God, Peter Parker, give us more Clown-9!

  142. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @Felix Margay (#107): I always thought the giant animals in Mark Trail were the camouflaged vehicles in which reality TV camera crews hid.
    Finally, a theory we can believe in!

  143. Downpuppy
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Luann’s weinie plot is the most childish (as in, written by an 8 year old boy) piece of writing since the Book of Jonah. Ann is trying to cheat a customer out of $2. Why??? Is she pocketing it? Is it going into the till? Cheating customers is an ancient art. But you have to distinguish between proprietor cheating & employee cheating. You have to understand the controls that go into a fastfood franchise. You have to know who’s scamming who, & why. Then you can work out the short change shuffle, the unrecorded sale, etc. It can make for a good plot.

    Instead, we have an 8 year old who likes to say Weinie.


  144. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    MW: It’s not safe, Dawn! The last time I was out on the water, I was trying to drown my witch sister. Look what happened! My arm got ripped off! Don’t go in the water, I tell ya! It’s full of dead witch curses! … Medication? No! When I take the medicine, the voice stops talking to me!

  145. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    MT-Now where is Mr. Roarke and Tattoo.

  146. Ned Ryerson
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    MT: What do you want to bet that some time soon, we will be shown the interior of Pop’s hut including Mark seated at a table with mom jeans bending to pour Mark a cup of coffee (his “ration” of coffee), Andy sitting near Mark, and Pop shown in profile in the foreground looking generally disinterested?

  147. terrapin
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    MT: Wouldn’t it be ironic if the old guy really turns out to be Mark’s long lost father? Would it be a happy reunion? Would Pop disown Mark when he finds out what his son does for a living?

  148. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    FW: Broke into the old apartment. This is where we used to live. Broken glass, broke and hungry, broken hearts and broken bones. This is where we used to live.

  149. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#143): Yeah, Ann would never catch on that she’s being set up, as TJ the known grifter is standing directly behind Ox who is consipicuously asking the exact same question as he did one minute ago.

  150. greghousesgf
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    I don’t see how the art in Marmaduke can get any worse. It already looks like a stroke victim did it.

  151. word-doctor
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    MT: Parallel universe indeed. That pinky is in Nanu Nanu position. Commence the anal probing!

    Crackshat: A tip. The funniest telling of the older lady/gigolo story can be found in Ferrol Sams’ short story “Howdy Doody Time.”

  152. Calico
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#148):
    Why did you paint the walls?
    Why did you clean the floor?
    Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the door?

  153. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-Look there’s a sale at Penny’s.

  154. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#147):

    Pop will make up some excuse about why he can’t take Mark fishing when Mark asks to go fishing.

  155. Hogenmogen
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Bubba: Let’s see… give up my current, lucrative, stable operation for a high-risk business that I know nothing about other than other solar farms are largely dependent on uncertain government subsidies to merely break even. And I do this because some fat, ugly, Hollywood shit wants somewhere to go fishing. Do I look like I was born yesterday?

    Avery: In strip time – yes, you were born yesterday!

  156. Alfred E. Neuman
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

  157. Steve
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Peter assumes that Kraven will try to steal the tiara because it is in his nature. Peter expresses this thought in the form of a cliche. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Slylock Fox and Mary Worth had a son, well, now you know.

  158. Marc
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#148): Why did they plaster over, the hole I punched in the door!

  159. Marc
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#152): Apologies, you just beat me to it.

  160. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    FW: …….I……..really…….hate……all…….these…..people….

  161. bats :[
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

  162. Dood
    October 25th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: “Aw, who am I kidding, where are the TV listings in this paper?”

  163. Matt McIrvin
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#46): There was this three-hour tour.

  164. Paul1963
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G (a strip I only read when it shows up here, incidentally) What the hell is going on with Margo’s face lately? Did Bolle get a new bundle of clip-art or what? It’s like someone else is playing her or something.

  165. Dood
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “And you’re a bunload of pure sexy, Margo.”

  166. Dood
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: I like how the group — not a band of anything, really — of peasant islanders like to prank the whale with their beachside chum launcher.

  167. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @Paul1963 (#164):

    What gets me is how narrow Greg’s shoulders are in panel one and with his Super Duper pose in panel two…well, he does suddenly look like he could weigh about 200 pounds.

    But then again, in every panel so far this week it looks like he could be pantless, too.
    It would explain Margo’s panel two smiles and the “confidence” line from G.

  168. bats :[
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me (likely), but does Aldo remind anyone of Capt. Kangaroo Sid the Clam Seller remind anyone of Avery? Separated at birth?
    Yes. I’ve been traumatized by Pop/Evil Pop — I admit it.

  169. Snarkotix Addict
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    FW – “We had a lot of fun in that old apartment. Hysterical.”
    “Yeah, we never could get that sex thing quite right. But we sure had fun trying, didn’t we, ‘Coach Anal’?”
    “Son, you knew you were adopted, right?”

  170. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Dustin: Chatty mugger has a gun in his pocket, won’t let it do the talking. Film at 11.

  171. TallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (yesteryear#230):

    I get where you are coming from.
    Actually, I considered caricaturists doing drawings of famous people and selling those. Some celebrities are protective of their image in almost every way which may or may not limit Fair Use for artists. You’d almost always need to be making fun in very obvious ways to get away with drawing them that way.

    Your point: sure. It is transformative and in a weird way rendering a simple cartoon design into a photo realistic painting/3D model is both transformative and in some way is exaggeration. But, my basic point is that rendering photorealistic painting and drawing can be a pointless exercise and is more about the Artist than it is about the Art.

    So, the subject matter doesn’t matter. It is just worse when it is something that was ironed out, redrawn, redesigned, ironed out again, ruined completely, cutified, babified, classicified and re-classified over decades to be Reimagined as something Real. (i.e., Popeye, Muppets, Mickey Mouse, etc*)

    *yet no one dares alter Li’l Dot.

  172. Snarkotix Addict
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    MW – “Jim, let go of my arm. I mean it, let go of one of my two arms . Before I have to push your one arm away with my other arm. My right arm. So let go of my arm. The left arm, the one you don’t have anymore. Let go of it.”

  173. Braniff
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @buzzard (#61): I imagine she has been getting paid to ram her melonheaded brothers with her head–which would make her a New Orleans Saint!

    Perhaps she ought to face the Cincinnati Bengals, the Detroit Lions, the Carolina Panthers or the Brigham Young University Cougars!

  174. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#134):

    I’ve been wondering that too. I read the strip daily and it seems to me we went from Jeff being wildly successful and his father being wildly resentful, to suddenly Jeff not only having his possessions being repo’d, but seeming to already be resigned to the event.

    @Hogenmogen (#149):

    Ox who is consipicuously asking the exact same question as he did one minute ago

    Except this time he is leanding forward with a tape recorder conspicuously sticking out of his shirt pocket. He better hope the FBI never pushes him into becoming a mob informer.

    Spot on in calling this, and most Luann plots the type of story you would expect from a 4th grader with no knowledge of how adults behave or of the rules of the adult world.

  175. Dood
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#168): Sid the Clam Seller would be a good spin-off strip.

  176. Hibbleton
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    A3G: And I’ll just call it manure.

  177. Spyglass
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    Personally I can’t get past all the angry scribbling in Crankshaft. Mom’s angry hair, the angry cat fur on the couch, and the angry cross-hatching on the wall all bode ill for this relationship with Dr. Smith: Chuck Ayers has clearly seen the upcoming scripts for this narrative arc, and they do not please him.

  178. Johnny Q
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Pop reminds me a bit of Hector Salamanca. (BREAKING BAD rules!)

  179. Calvin\'s Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#176):


  180. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    Oh by gum, by golly!

    I actually laffed at Snuffy Smif.*

    Granted it is such a stupid gag that even Highlights magazine would only use it if they were short that month but dang it caught me off guard!

    While I still don’t get Jughaid’s use of “Congresswoman Smif” as a pejorative earlier this week**, this one just got me.

    *I’m easily amused.
    **oh great it was just yesterday. I still don’t get it. I can only think of two ways that is an insult, both being taboo to discuss and probably topical enough.

  181. Andy
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Las Vegas happens to be the number one media market in the country for campaign ads this year (much to the chagrin of the locals). Good for the Las Vegas Vista for finally noticing!

  182. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail Panel two, the freakin’ island disappeared!

    Bye bye, Island of Flimflamaca! Hey, Mon! Pass de dutchie on the left hand side, whydon’tcha?

    Oh wait, that is probably just a clip art error. More than likely the result of a corrupted JPEG that didn’t show up on the file being outputted. (the editor is probably used to that by now).

    More than likely we are now witnessing Mark Trail, Wildlife Meddleologist/ Crimefighter on the Island of Dr. Pop Moreau.

  183. This Guy
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Is it at all possible that Shulock doesn’t realize Margo is the worst publicist ever? “YOU, get a job? You’re so full of shit!”

    H&J: Bentley stretches two panels’ worth of (borrowed) dialogue into four. When he makes meatloaf, it’s 75% bread crumbs.

    MW: “That’s why I’m gauging the best method for removing your arm. Then you’ll realize the true danger of PIERS.”

    NS: And yet Wiley doesn’t take his own advice.

    OBH: Ellen, do not discourage the learning process.

    Pluggers: Yeah, it’s not out of respect for the elderly. She just doesn’t want to be trapped inside in the likely event he gets stuck in the doorway.

    @DarkfireTaimatsu (#49): Now, now. She may be kind of a bitch, but have some sympathy for the poor filly being on display in Vegas. What a cruel fate!

  184. bats :[
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    And sometimes I worry too much…

  185. pugfuggly
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#88):

    (4) In Mark Trail, facial hair is a sign of evil. Therefore, Senor Moustache will behave reprehensibly until his moustache is either:

    A) shaved off, or

    B) just mysteriously evaporates, as is true of his now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t chest hair.

    You forget that the mustache alone can also represent a conflicted hero, or one that has been misled.

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#112):

    Guerrilla warfare? Those fists are more like WMD!

    Then consider his invasion a combination of the bay of pigs AND the Cuban missile crisis.

  186. Shem
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#34): Well, there was Lili St. Cyr ….

  187. Liam
    October 25th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    MT-”Are you my son? I haven’t seen my son since he came home from the war and went to live in an abandoned mine. You look like my son but without the facial hair and the long hair.”

  188. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    SM: I wish we had seen some of the 85% of the contents of the Las Vegas Vista that’s devoted to ads for “Escort Services”, especially that one with the full-page photo of M.J. Parker. What, you mean Peter actually believed that they were house shopping in Long Island based on her paycheck from an off-off-off-Broadway play?

  189. Alter Ego
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#68): Sometimes I feel guilty about using the vast machinery of the internet for trivial purposes. Then I remember, that’s why it was built. Here you go, everybody!

  190. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    You might be a Plugger if you don’t know crap but you do know what crapola is.


  191. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#188):

    And only Peter Parker would be foolish enough to believe that the woman whose picture is used for the ad will be the one who shows up at his hotel room door.

  192. Phred22
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Actually Kraven’s out to discover Spidey’s secret identity. He’s found a formula which turns everyone but the wall-crawler blue.

  193. KreatureFeatures
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    You’re just taunting us now, Jack Elrod.

  194. Peanut Gallery
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#126): And where’s the water tower? Mark never goes anywhere without his water tower.

  195. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail:

    Wasn’t it the band “Men Without Hats” that sang “The Land Down Under”?

    If so, I present to you, panel one.

  196. Jumbo37364
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or are all of Momma’s kids really, really stupid.

  197. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winker…whatever!

    The only thing that would make anything close to hysterical in this strip is if
    something funny actually happened in it.

    There’s a credibility gap between a character invoking the notion that there have been funny moments in that strip and the strip they make those comments in.

  198. Anonymous
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    MT – So Mark is now a captive in Jonestown. How else to explain whitebread guys like Pops in a so-called people’s movement.

  199. 555 95472
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#195): It was Men At Work that sang “Down Under”.

    Men Without Hats sang “The Safety Dance” and “Pop Goes The World”.

    And it was the little known group Men At Work Without Hats that died of massive cranial injuries from a falling I-beam, complicated by heatstroke.

  200. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Yawn. Ennui sets in. Wasn’t it just yesterday that Clown 9, poachers and the longest farewell ballet/sexual assault in comics history were lighting up these boards?

  201. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Rambling Circus:
    Isn’t this the second kids-uttering-what’s-in-the-afterlife questions this week?

    Billy asking if there’s homework in heaven? (no, Billy. But, there is constant roadwork on the streets of gold)
    Susie asking if her afterlife pedigree matters much? (when it comes down to it, Susie,* aim high)

    *i know that’s not her name.

  202. Shrug, Sniffer of Spam
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#yy44):

    “…I have to take care of all those poor people in panel 1 with no faces. I think smelling salts will bring them around.”

    “What will they smell them with?”

    When seeing eye dogs look for a career change, some have branched out into jobs as smelling nose dogs.

  203. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#199):

    “Men with Hats without Work” played an awesome concert in Zucotti Park last summer. While many have hoped for a reunion tour, it seems unlikely at this point, as 99% of ticket sales were deeply discounted.

  204. Old School Allie Cat
    October 25th, 2012 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus – So, on the plus side, Saints usually die in pretty horrific ways. Angels could have just died in their sleep or after a brief, painless bout of pneumonia. So, either way, they’re dead.

    More pressing is the matter of what St. Dolly would be patron of. I’d say Farmers Markets, Greengrocers and Bra Fitters. You know… people who handle melons.

  205. Holly Folly
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Greg must have a real booty underneath that frame to be that heavy, either that or he has huge elephantine feet.

  206. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#204):

    Patron Saint of Strip Club Patrons?

  207. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#199):

    Thanks for clearing that up. I usually confuse musical trivia. Therefore by the grace of sumptin, I didn’t type “Wookies With Chapeaus”.

    Their cover of “Safety Dance” would probably not be bearable. But, man, would they look stylin with their chapeaus!

    Next time I’ll use Wikipedia instead of Wookiepedia.

  208. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    MT – Pops reminds me a bit of Jerry Sandusky, especially when he calls Mark “son.”

  209. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#207):

    I think I am one of 500 people who actually own the Men Without Hats album (yes, I mean vinyl) and I have to admit I also have Ebn Ozn’s album, because I thought the songs “Bag Lady” and “aeiou and sometimes y” were clever.

  210. Deb T
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    Margo’s looking pretty hefty herself in panel one of today’s strip.
    Why reference Greg’s weight at all? Is she practicing for her new job as weight guesser at a local carnival?

  211. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I think the actors auditioning in panel 2 are far more attractive than those in panel 1.

  212. Alison
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: Yeah, I’m sure the police will be all over your little video of a fast food employee overcharging someone by a couple of dollars, TJ. Surely they have nothing else to do but ruin her career/life.

    Oh, who am I kidding? With the way this strip goes, TJ’s video will go viral on the Internet and cause worldwide outrage at Ann, and the FBI and the CIA will go on a manhunt after her. When she is caught, she will then be thrown in jail for life.

    “Monty”: Robin fangirl since 1989 here. This arc hurts me. If I ran into a dude dressed as Robin with no Batman in sight, I would think he was the most awesome man I ever saw.

    Fleshy is my favorite part of this strip.

  213. Old School Allie Cat
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#206): Back in the day (some time in 1995) I went to Montreal, where I determined that because of all the bars, strip clubs and bakeries on Rue Ste. Catherine – she must be the Patron Saint of Instant Gratification.

    I mean St. Catherine of Miami Beach – not Sienna or Alexandria – those two are legit.

  214. Durandal_1707
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    MT: They’re just poor boys, from a poor family. Easy come, easy go. Will they let Mark go? No, they will not let him go. (Let him go!)

  215. Marc
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#213): Oh the memories I have of the handful of nights spent on Rue Ste. Catherine when I was in Montreal for the NHL draft a few years ago. I’ve never been to Las Vegas, but if Vegas is Sin City, what is Montreal?

  216. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#213):

    On the Bill Mahr documentary Religulous, he interviews a Catholic Cardinal who points out that in a survey of Italian Catholics regarding who they pray to in time of need, seventh place was occupied by “Jesus Christ”, with six Patron Saints coming in ahead of him. Monotheism is the new Polytheism!!

    I would think a Patron Saint of Instant Gratification would either have a rather insurmountable credibility issue with regard to granting prayers, or would quickly drive the other saints out of business.

  217. Spiff Bereft
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    FC: “You’d make a better angel because if there is a God, you’ll always be asexual and occupying some other realm.”

  218. This Guy
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @Deb T (#210): Hey, she’s going to need something to fall back on after every celebrity in the country pre-fires her.

  219. 555 95472
    October 25th, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#209): You haven’t heard the full outmoded 80s glory of Men Without Hats until you’ve heard them on cassette tape, my friend. Preferably while drinking New Coke.

  220. DAS
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft — as others have indicated, Dr. Smith being a gigolo would be too much happiness for the Funkyverse to bear. Of course, Dr. Smith is just some sort of quack or fraudster … promising Jeff’s mom happiness or a cure for cancer, requesting checks for lots of money but delivering nothing. Well, except cancer …

  221. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#204): Coincidentally, St. Dolly’s theme song is the 100-year-old ditty “My Melancholy [Melon-choly] Baby” — first performed publicly by a gent named William Frawley*:

    *Yeah, the same Bill Frawley from I Love Lucy!

  222. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#219): Amen to that… my at-the-time-girlfriend (now my wife) had a MWH cassette stuck in the tape player of her ’86 Taurus, which is what we listened to when we drove to her hometown through some extremely radio-dead real estate.

  223. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @DAS (#220): Maybe we’ll all get lucky and have a Crankshaft/MW crossover, with “Dr. Smith” being the conman that Adrian used to date.

  224. This Guy
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#222): If only it had been “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers.

  225. Dale
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]


    Ox’s “That’s still 26 cents too much” is right on if they have a 7% sales tax.
    I hope Ann’s next answer is “$2.13. Why?”
    Then TJ can explain why he told Ox that the tax on $1.99 really is $2.00.

  226. Old School Allie Cat
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#215): I’d have to say it’s either Sin City, eh? or Ville de Péché. I need to get back there…

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#216): 1. I need to watch that documentary. 2. A Patron Saint of Instant Gratification would get a lot done – instantly, in fact.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#221): I like Lucy. I love Ethel. I’m a sidekick kind of gal. I hope Fred was good to her.

  227. DAS
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#222): Until I moved from Tallahassee, FL to NYC (taking the long way and visiting a friend in OH), going via I-75, I thought that you were in the sticks if the only station on the radio played country music.

    However, once I neared the TN/GA border, I noticed that there weren’t even country music stations on the radio. The only station played Christian music. Now, even though I am not a Christian, I actually happen to like some Christian music (I am an amateur organist, so I know and like the repertoire). But this was not likable Christian music.

    When I described this situation to my wife (who’s mother’s family is from central GA), she said — “so the only station was some woman shouting and banging on a tambourine?” And I replied that she had described the station perfectly.

    Now when she talks about her mother and her mother’s family living in the country, we always joke about how there’s “the country”, “The Country” and “THE COUNTRY”. The first being somewhere out of the city (e.g. the exurbs where my parents moved or what you end up in if you drive too far out of Tallahassee, where there aren’t many people around, but everything still looks like a giant suburban lawn or park). The second being so far out of civilization that there is no station except for country music (fortunately, I like country) and they have actual, snake-handling churches, like where my mother-in-law lives. The third being what you get when you are crossing the GA/TN state line (actually some of I-10 between Tallahassee and Jacksonville is on the cusp of being THE COUNTRY). Kinda like in the movie “Deliverance” (which was set in those parts, wasn’t it?).

    So I understand what you mean about listening to a stuck cassette being better than what’s on the radio! I’ve been there.

  228. Dagger
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    It looks like the Las Vegas Vista may have endorsed a dragonfly.

  229. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#219) @555 95472 (#219):

    Every album I bought during the 80′s was immediately copied onto cassette so that I could listen to them on the Sanyo cassette deck I had installed in my 1981 Cutlass Supreme.

  230. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @DAS (#220):

    I think it’s Dr Smith from Lost in Space. THAT would be a treat.

  231. Old School Allie Cat
    October 25th, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @DAS (#227): As someone who lives in Nashville, with family in Chattanooga and Atlanta… I know this radio-dead area very, very well. My last car had a terrible antenna, and I was lucky to get the lady with the tambourine. The same car had no cassette deck or CD player. Life was brutal!

    That same car got totaled in a tornado.

    I have all my teeth. I just feel I should say that.

  232. Jason1981
    October 25th, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    S-M: “Hah! Seek and ye shall find! Now lets see….the 80s ‘G.I. Joe’ is on at 3pm…the ‘Generation 1′ Transformers at:3:30 ….that’s the Hub channel, now which one has that new Ninja Turtles series…”

  233. Calico
    October 25th, 2012 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#209):
    Oh no, I think I have a copy of Ebn Ozn (one of several LP’s that were given to me), but not MWH.
    *hides head like a cat*

  234. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    October 25th, 2012 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    Fred Basset: Tired of years of trying and failing to be funny, the makers of the strip decide to finally break down and convert to an all-Educational format.

    Gasoline Alley: “Oh, he’s dead, dear. Has been for years. I suspect your readers figured that out about a week ago. A bit slow on the uptake, eh, sonny?”

  235. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    October 25th, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#230):

    Dr. Smith, upon meeting Crankshaft: “You cretinous curmudgeon! You senile senior citizen!”

  236. Atticus Dogsbody
    October 25th, 2012 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    “We’re just a group of poor peasants, son, not a band of anything!… What’s that? The whale? Oh, we forced it in at gunpoint yesterday, should bring some good coin.”

  237. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    @Lupin The 3.1415926th (#235):

    Danger, Will Winkerbean, Danger!

  238. commodorejohn
    October 25th, 2012 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @Dagger (#228): I’d vote for a dragonfly over anybody currently running. It might not know anything about politics or administration of a government, but on the other hand, dragonflies keep out of my business and also eat mosquitoes.

  239. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#148): Broke into the old apartment. This is where we used to live.
    In fact, it’s the way we used to get in, too. Good times.

    @TallyHO (#171): yet no one dares alter Li’l Dot
    So you never saw Xaime’s drawing of her, at a somewhat older age.

    @This Guy (#183): Bentley and borrowed dialog… he’d better not try borrowing anything from William Faulkner.

    @Jumbo37364 (#196): Is it just me, or are all of Momma’s kids really, really stupid.
    Well, one of them is successful in business, and has a loving wife… but he keeps going back to visit Sonya, and he always seems surprised at her relentless nastiness toward his wife… so I’m going to say they’re all really, really stupid.

    @Old School Allie Cat (#204): More pressing is the matter of what St. Dolly would be patron of. I’d say Farmers Markets, Greengrocers and Bra Fitters. You know… people who handle melons.
    Greengrocers are also “notorious” for their “mishandling” of “quotation mark’s” and ‘postrophe’s (note the preceding examples), so Dolly would fit right in.

    @tallyHO (#207): Not enough letters in “Wookiee.” It’s a rookiee mistake.

  240. Anonymous
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#134): Trudeau & Co. didn’t illustrate it, but it sounds like his book has ended up in those remainder bins where they’re sold by the pound.

  241. Peanut Gallery
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#166): Prank The Whale should have his own comic strip. Better yet, he should just do a “Snuffy Smith” and take over Mark Trail.

    Day 1: Prank The Whale asks a passing seagull if he’d like a Hertz Donut. The seagull says yes. Prank slaps the seagull with his flukes and says, “Hertz, Donut?”

  242. Daniel
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    FC First Billy askin’ if there’s homework in heaven and now this? This is a complete cry for help from Jeffy.

  243. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

  244. Patrick
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    What I like about saints is that the Catholic Church has some pretty dark humor in declaring what you’re patron of. St. Lawrence was martyred by being roasted to death. He’s the patron saint of barbeque. St. Barbara was struck by lightning and she’s the patron saint of fireworks. Though that does make me wonder what Dolly would be the saint of.

  245. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#239):

    Not enough letters in “Wookiee.”
    Wookie talkin’ ‘bout, Muffaroo?

  246. commodorejohn
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @Patrick (#244): My money’s on her being Patron Saint of Getting Your Head Stuck in a Five Gallon Bucket Even Though the Warnings Specifically Tell You Not to.

  247. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#243):


    Actually, now that I really think about it, I probably meant Li’l Lulu. Somehow I was confusing her name with Li’l Dot. (and as you well know, there was more than a li’l difference between the two)

  248. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    FC – When I was Dolly’s age I was asking my mother if she thought I were going to prison and Hell. I suppose this was just a precursor to my rather fatalistic view of life. In Dolly’s case, I think her question and choices mean she’s destined to be a chancellor of a large private university.

  249. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#247):

    I think Dot was simply Dot. But there was Little Lotta, the rather rubenesque blonde in the Harvey stable.

  250. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

  251. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#249):
    Li’l Lotta…that makes more sense. There was a lotta Li’l Comic Book characters, weren’t there?

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#250):

    Confession: I’ve only seen the movies once…years…maybe over a decade… after they were released.

    I can’t even spell the name of the ship he co-piloted. If it were the Centennial Crow, I’d get it right.

    Ah, but I did enjoy the adventures of See Thru PO’d and Artie Detour. Those two cracked me up. And that scene where the Douche Star was blowed up…awesome!

    //i couldn’t even get through Dune, the movie and the novel.

  252. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

  253. tallyHO
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#252):


  254. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

  255. Chaze
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#252):

    Were all of the Harvey kids called Little? I remember a little devil, too.

  256. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2012 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#247): Little Lulu and Little Dot, together again for this first time ever (after they stopped being little), here!

  257. Anonymous
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#256): Oh, great. I also know Annie and Audrey, but can I sleep not knowing the other two? And where’s Lotta? Or Jinx?
    My favorite ‘little’ character was probably Little Wolfgang, who had his own stories in Rocky & Bullwinkle comic books – kind of an early-60s Goth ancestor of Lio.

  258. Vince M
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#257): That being me.

  259. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#243), @tallyHO (#247):

    I’m not sure about Little Lulu, but I like to think a grown-up Dot Polka would look more like this:

  260. commodorejohn
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#252), @tallyHO (#253):

  261. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2012 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#257): On the left is GoGirl!, and on the right is Little Audrey.

    Little Jinx has grown up a bit and is now just “Jinx”, a junior high student in the Riverdale universe’s modern era.

    In these more nearly sensitive days where we are not supposed to make fun at the expense of fat people the metabolically challenged, Little Lotta no longer makes the cut for inclusion in the comics. Sorry, old gal.

  262. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#253): Mouseover it! Or just look at Chaze’s 254.

    @Chaze (#255): Hot Stuff, the Little Devil; Wendy, the Good Little Witch; Casper, the Friendly Ghost, Richie Rich, the Poor Little Rich Boy, Stumbo, the Friendly Giant, Jackie Jokers, the Kid on TV (dunno what his subtitle was, really). There’s a lot of belittlement going on in there.

  263. Elk Meadow
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#124):

    I’m trying to figure how how Jeff’s mom could meet anyone new in the first place. She can’t go anywhere by herself, never answers the front door or telephone, barely knows how to use a television remote, let alone a computer, and she’s always shown sitting on the couch or a chair or at the dinner table. She probably even sleeps in that shroud she wears every day. There is no reason for her to write a check, and she’s never been shown to give Mindy or anyone else in the family any financial aid.

    So I’m rather lost here.

  264. Zerowolf
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y204): Like many things in the law, it depends on the laws in the jurisdiction as to what is permissible and what is not permissible. As for making sense, one law professor I had cynically stated: “Sometimes the law is what you can convince a jury it is.”

    Quick disclaimer: I am not a practicing attorney, but as part of my profession I have had to take a fair number of contract law, interstate commerce law (gets messy with sometimes contradictory state and Federal laws, but the rule of thumb is if a state line is crossed your now in Federal territory), and international commerce law (gets really messy fast so you better have it spelled out in the contract which country’s laws apply in the event of a dispute!) classes both for degree purposes and CEU’s.

  265. Elk Meadow
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#134):

    There’s this thing about making house and car payments. J.K.R. banked her royalties, and pays cash. Jeff blew his advance, hasn’t written anything new, and now has nothing to show for it.

  266. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#256): Nice, but where’s Nancy and her friend, Oona Goosepimple?

  267. Rhekarid
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    I’m also leaning toward Angel, in the hopes that Dolly could be convinced that this means being willingly entombed in stone to become a statue.

  268. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#255), @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#262): Don’t forget L’il Guy, the Tom Thumb-sized schoolboy.

  269. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#266): I always thought John Stanley’s world behind the fireplace in Nancy was better than Oz. However, there were not very many of those stories ever written, so Oona remains a “niche” character in the Nancyverse. I suppose it would be more nearly appropriate to show Nancy with her long-term sidekick, Annie. In any case, I agree that it would have been great to see her on that cover!

  270. Poteet
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#263): An interesting point. *casts about in memory bank for previous images of Jeff’s mom* I seem to remember her driving to and from the mall once, but dangerously. Other than that, no outside life that I can remember, and no talking about current events or reading books or magazines or knitting or doing crafts or cooking or doing crosswords or building small discreet pipe bombs…what does she do with her time besides watch the tube? And she doesn’t ever seem to look happy. Come to think of it, if this doctor guy can actually put a real smile on her puss, he might be worth the draining of her bank account.

  271. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    October 25th, 2012 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    Deeply angered by Marmalade’s reaction, which opened old wounds and reminded him vruelly of his rejevtion by thr Vienna Academy of Arts, Hitler resolved to come out of retirement. From reafing the Las Vegss Vista , he was dimly aware that some kind of election was imminent. With a few other like-minded fascists, he determined to participate as a last minute candidate, his eye on the Aryan vote. His stormtroops, their fresh uniforms, jackboots and swastika armbands providing employment to millions of despised Asiatic sweatshop workers, marched across the land, intimidating blacks, Jews, Latinos and liberals.

    Meanwhile Marmalade ran away to the forest and had hot hellhound-on-woman sex.

  272. Droopy Says
    October 26th, 2012 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: (waves hand excitedly) Oooh, oooh, I know! The tiara has magic powers over animals! He who wears it controls the beasts with his thoughts! And gets mistaken for a showgirl-wannabe.

    Funky Whatahasbeen: You mean Cancerville has someone even creepier than Creepy Les? Why didn’t a black hole form?

    Family Circus: No, no, Jefy, say something to make Mommy proud. “Look, Mommy, I just made a hot lunch!”

    Mark Trail: Awww, el Jefe is such a sweetie! Want to bet he ends up saving Trail and Editorbillellis from the mean men on Isla Grande? (Sorry, Trail, I didn’t mean to confuse you by using Spanish.)

    Jugs Parker: Yes, Avarice, I’m sure Bubba is eager to give up his lucrative pot business on his sixty five frickin’ acres? And I’m sure his henchmen are eager to stop earning easy money while carrying guns, especially as they’re probably not qualified to work at a solar-power plant. And absolutely nobody, not even the IRS, will ask questions about your current and impending financial affairs.

    So fire up the chainsaw and let its rumbling noise set off the inevitable cave-in.

    Pluggers: What sort of fancy restaurant would admit a Plugger? If Bear Man wore a tie, he’d wipe his mouth with it after he scarfed down the main course.

  273. Poteet
    October 26th, 2012 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — Wow. So suddenly Jeff’s mom is using the computer well enough to navigate an online dating service, even though she can barely use a TV remote. Very impressive. Given her expression, I’d like to think she acquired this new skill mostly to annoy her son.

  274. Poteet
    October 26th, 2012 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    MT — “Yep, I don’t know what he’ll do to you, but on behalf of everyone stuck in this little hellhole, thanks for the potential for some violent entertainment! The TV reception here really sucks.”

  275. Poteet
    October 26th, 2012 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    JP — Bubba has SIXTY-FIVE acres of pot?? He’s supposedly been hiding sixty-five acres of mareewana from the authorities?? And Avery thinks he can afford to compensate for the loss of the worth of sixty-five acres of pot, which I very roughly estimate to be about $35 million annually? I hasten to doff my hat to the writer. We’re not playing on the edge of Cloud Cuckoo Land now, we’re flying around smack dab in the middle. Cuckoo!

  276. Droopy Says
    October 26th, 2012 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Today’s Marmaduke is Safe For Baka Gaijin. And anyone else who remembers Clown-9.

  277. Gladly, the cross-eyed Bear
    October 26th, 2012 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    Mark: Hey, I live on the Big Island! Mayor Billy Kenoi isn’t perfect, but “thug” is just uncalled for!

  278. Poteet
    October 26th, 2012 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    A3G — I like Panel Two Lu Ann, but the rest are sub-par. Panel One Margo looks out-of-shape and Panel Two Greg looks like a dork. More than usual, I mean.

  279. Poteet
    October 26th, 2012 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    GA — Yep, I called it, but predicting plot developments in GA is not the sport of kings.

  280. Dale
    October 26th, 2012 at 2:00 am [Reply]


    How do those people get off the island? An outboard motor does not make a rowboat adequate for unsheltered water.
    How do they get and pay for supplies? Holding the occasional fisherman tourist for ransom can’t provide a steady income.
    If they get $2 million, word will get out and the Big Island Thugs will come looking for them.

  281. Jamoche
    October 26th, 2012 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    Momma: Either she’s a furry or she’s dating a Plugger – can’t decide which is worse.

  282. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 26th, 2012 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    FW: Oh, for feck’s sake. “Let’s drive through our old neighborhood! There’s the dump we lived in, and there’s the place where all the kids were abused! Ah, memories!”

  283. Calico
    October 26th, 2012 at 4:33 am [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#226):
    Vivian Vance and William Frawley had no love lost between them, unfortunately.

  284. Calico
    October 26th, 2012 at 4:44 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#261):
    But it is still ok to have hefty guys like Funky, Bull, Smithers, Mr. (Fred) Andrews, Pop Tate, Thirsty, Leroy Lockhorn, Diner guy in Blondie, Sarge, and oh yeah, Avery. Go figure.

  285. Calico
    October 26th, 2012 at 4:45 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#286):
    And most Plugger dudes.

  286. annieLurk
    October 26th, 2012 at 5:32 am [Reply]

    @Lupin The 3.1415926th (#234):
    Everyone in GA (that would be Gasoline Alley, not Georgia) should be dead or at least undead by now. An older relative (we’re talking mid-sixties of age) was nicknamed Skeezix by his mother, for reasons I’ll never understand. It became so ubiquitous within the family, that it was shortened to “Skee.” Needless to say Skee, who was Ivy League bound from birth, was not amused.

  287. annieLurk
    October 26th, 2012 at 5:44 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#279): Poteet, I love your writing and humor. If there is ever a CC hall of fame, you should be in it.

  288. Calico
    October 26th, 2012 at 6:42 am [Reply]

    There are some hefty ladies still in the comics, like Mrs. Nelson in Curtis, and the (very) rare appearance of Mrs. Lodge. So there’s that.
    It does seem like there is (as usual) a double standard going on.
    I’d love to see Little Lotta take on, say, the Syrian Regime. I’m quite certain she could handle the task.

  289. LP2004
    October 26th, 2012 at 6:56 am [Reply]

    MT: Otto? Wasn’t the drug-lord kingpin of the last tropical island Mark visited also named Otto? Is there some law in the Trailiverse that only guys named Otto can rule small tropical islands? Or is it just traditional for them to change their names to Otto once they’ve taken over?

  290. gleeb
    October 26th, 2012 at 7:02 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: Since he has to pad out the week, Batiuk repeats himself.

    ‘bean: Unlike many, my familiarity with Batiuk only began a few years ago. To me it was always “that comic with the stupid band” that I ignored because, marching bands are tolerable in person, but in comix? Anyway, is this disturbed lighthouse keeper a new twist of the misery knife or just a bit of nastiness that is being swept up to remind everyone why life in Cancerdeathville, Ohio stinks so bad?

    Bubba Gets Twisted, Goes Straight: On his second big whisky of the morning, Bubba begins to think Avery may have something. If Avery is lucky, the whisky will affect Bubba’s ability to swing a chainsaw by the time he has a mood swing.

    June and Rose: It was all she wanted from this weekend: to sit by the ocean and eat some clams. And now, finally away from all the distractions in her life, June can get her damned fried clams.

    A&J: “Yeah, OK. Now beat it, kid, I got fried clams to push.”

    Gas: Oh, for Pete’s sake, that one’s so old Walt Wallet remembers it.

  291. CanuckDownSouth
    October 26th, 2012 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn, the guy grabbed and startled you when you mentioned going to the pier. Dating Hint: stick to public (pier: yes) guaranteed-crowded (pier: no) places until you know a lot more about his mental stability.

  292. hogenmogen
    October 26th, 2012 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#158): Why did they keep the mousetrap?
    Why did they keep the dishrack?
    I didn’t get
    My damage deposit back!

    Wait, that’s not how it goes…

  293. hogenmogen
    October 26th, 2012 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    JP: Remember that Avery found the pot farm by literally falling into it off the side of the road. So if the authorities ever got wind of it, they would investigate. Step 1: Who owns this land? Yes, that would make him a suspect at least. The trick is to grow your pot on someone else’s property.

    You have to work very hard at being dumber than the villians in Mark Trail. Judge Parker has accepted this challenge and conquered it.

  294. hogenmogen
    October 26th, 2012 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#291): The other Otto spelled his name backwards.

    From the classic motion picture Repo Man: “Otto what? Otto Parts?”

  295. hogenmogen
    October 26th, 2012 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    For Halloween, I want to be the A3G guy. Greg or Evan or Alan or Bill or Stan some other Anglo-generic name with 3-5 letters, it really doesn’t matter. I can’t get the hair. Without the hair, I’m just a dork in an electric blue suit.

  296. Vince M
    October 26th, 2012 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#286): What’s more, Lotta wasn’t even a walking ‘fat joke’ – mostly they played up her near-super strength. I recently caught a link to an old comic where she dreams the President has appointed her as ‘physical fitness boss’ and she rules the country with an iron fist, and this is played as a good thing. I like how Harvey comics could get weird.

    Another favorite ‘little’ character is Little Itch, the young witch in the Little Lulu comics. (At this time of year I wish I had some of those giant-size Lulu Halloween special comics.)

  297. John C Fremont
    October 26th, 2012 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Hot Rize?!

  298. LP2004
    October 26th, 2012 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    MT: “I don’t know what Otto will do with you if your friend doesn’t return – probably death, or roo-roo.”

  299. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 26th, 2012 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    JS: ayup. my handwriting was never that good, and it certainly hasn’t gotten better over the tech-years. (but thank the stars for spell-check!)

    Lio: skillz. Cybel haz dem.

    Zits: damn Giants fans.

    Blondie: I did not need that visual. I truly did not.

    RMMD: June would like a spunky redhead to go. . .

    6Cx: *applaz*

  300. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 26th, 2012 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . getting backstage.

  301. Vince M
    October 26th, 2012 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#262): Oh yeah, and didn’t they do a ‘Little Sad Sack’? That’s just…wrong.

  302. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 26th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    new thread!

  303. Illustrator Steve
    October 26th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @terrapin (#147): MT – “Wouldn’t it be ironic if the old guy really turns out to be Mark’s long lost father?”

    Just like in the movie ‘POPEYE’ with Robin Williams. “It’s, it’s,it’s….ME-PAPPY!”
    He IS hunched over like Popeye. Now all Elrod has to do is work on bulging out his forearms. Nah, Elrod would probably just splice in some clip-art of bulgy forearms swiped from an old Popeye strip.

  304. Charly
    October 26th, 2012 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#93):

    I have no doubt that a spirograph’s tax plan would be more cogent than Romney/Ryan’s.

  305. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 27th, 2012 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    @annieLurk (#287): I know. I keep wishing I could friend Poteet on Facebook or something.

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