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Love conquers some

Herb and Jamaal, 5/12/08

I was going to make some snide comment about how sad it is that Herb and Jamaal thinks it’s keeping its readership enthralled by this cut-rate David-and-Maddie-style romantic tension plot, but then I realized that I keep commenting on it, so who’s the sad one, really? Anyway, today’s installment takes the strip’s usual nonspecific circumlocution to some kind of higher art form. Are these two even aware that they’re talking about each other any more? Is Jamaal !ing in the final panel because he’s trying to visualize what Yolanda means by his “hammer” and her “bent nail”?

Luann, 5/12/08

Speaking of tedious romantic storylines, with TJ safely bundled off to … wherever he goes to when he’s not in the strip (*cough* gay bar *cough*), will tonight finally be the night when Brad “mixes some Brad” with Toni’s “Toni”? I have no real idea what that sentence I just wrote means, but it sounds gross, so I hope not.

For Better Or For Worse, 5/12/08

Speaking of tedious romantic storylines, I have to admit that today’s FBOFW made me crack up. Sure, it’s a reinforcement of the horribly retrograde idea that the strip’s been going on about for some time — that if some guy you don’t like is coming on to you, all you can do is wring your hands and whine weakly about it unless you have a bit of finger hardware purchased for you by someone else with external genitalia. But the sight of Warren recoiling in horror from the second-cheapest ring from Zales (or its Canadian equivalent) as if it were filled with deadly radon gas is so hilariously over the top that Foob, Inc., has to be in on the joke. Right? Right? Right?

Mary Worth, 5/12/08

In happier news, Donna Amalfi celebrated Mother’s Day by dropping dead. Since this blessed event took place at the beginning of the week, we should be treated to five or six glorious days of Mary helping the Brothers R process their emotional pain before giving this whole thing up as a bad job and blessedly moving on to something equally dumb.

Ziggy, 5/12/08

AOL-themed joke from 1998 + talking feces = desperate, desperate cry for help.

167 responses to “Love conquers some”

  1. Niall
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    I could have lived happily without seeing that Ziggy cartoon.


    (i always come back anyway…)

  2. Trotzenbonnie
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Crap! I killed it!

    #183 – Red Greenback!!!!
    Oy vey! Mishpocheh!
    Ah! There’s nothing better than sitting on a perky dog. It’s no fun when they just lie there.

    #187 – commodorejohn
    I’ll drink to that!
    I was a stay-at-home mom. What better argument against the maternal dictum can there be? Take a good look at My Rotten Kid and tell me a bunch of chimps on unicycles couldn’t have done a better job of raising him…

  3. Bob
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    The new Kryptonite line, from Jared’s.

  4. Rhekarid
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    There’s something very wrong with Ziggy’s feet. I would try to figure out what, but I keep coming back to the fact that the same can be said of anything related to Ziggy.

  5. Perky Bird
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Are those Ziggy’s trousers that are dropped around his ankles?

    Seriously, what the Hell is this comic supposed to mean? Is the toilet trying to lure Ziggy into naively peering into the toilet to look for the e-mail, only to have the toilet maliciously squirt him in the face and laugh?

  6. Uncle Lumpy
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Those selfish brothers were out having coffee while their Mother lay dying. I hope Mary Worth gives ‘em the what-for! Bastards!

  7. Trotzenbonnie
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Shouldn’t Ziggy’s toilet be shouting ‘You have PEE mail’ ?

  8. insolenttomato
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    MW: Um . . . why is the doctor copping a feel while breaking the news? Seeing as how my father and uncle are named Ronald and Richard, I find Dr. Handsy all the more disturbing.

    Apologies for reposting, but after taking a week off I come back to see that I made it on the COTW float but missed my own party! Curses!

  9. Niall
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Perky Bird: do not go there! That way lies madness!!

  10. Sheila Sternwell (the former Mrs. Tuddrussel)
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    There’s a bit too much toilet humor today. Monday is not a good day for toilet humor. It’s not just Ziggy and his talking toilet seat which considers his bodily excretions “e-mail”, oh no. Sally Forth’s husband is clearly holding a urine sample while on the phone with her. I mean, lucky guy, getting to do the urine sample at home so he can switch it out with someone else’s, someone who doesn’t have as much THC in their pee, but still — in the kitchen? You know better than that, Ted.

  11. Niall
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    I nominate Trotzenbonnie to start rewriting all Ziggys before they go to press. If those were published, it would accomplish two important goals: it would make for an incredibly funny strip, and it would get Ziggy cancelled in hours. :D

  12. velvet goldmine
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Now THERE’S an email that’s sure to give him a virus!

    Except…how would he open it, exactly?

  13. cheech wizard
    May 12th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy – Given that “E” plainly stands for “excrement,” this is just foul.

  14. Ranger
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Why does Liz even let Warren in? I mean, he shows up and Liz apparently asked him to carry his groceries. No wonder Warren thinks he is entitled to a little touchy feely, until Liz flashes her ring than Blandthony won at a Chuck E Cheese claw game. He probably didn’t actually win it, just stole it from a three year old. Bottom line, I feel bad for Warren.

  15. cheech wizard
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy, take 2 – This would make sense if “e-mail” was slang for some kind of horrific lower intestinal disorder, but it’s not, so it doesn’t.

  16. cubiclemonkey
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    Is the Ziggy cartoonist using the term ‘e-mail’ rather than just saying ‘You have mail’ because a.) the joke is so outdated no one actually remembers the phrase or b.) because the cartoon’s readers are so outdated they’re never get the ‘joke’ otherwise? Also, WHY is he even receiving e-mail from his toilet!? Even as a gag?

  17. Saxman
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    Real Life Phantom

    Speaking of romance, I’m officially in love. In a jungle patrol kind of way uv cors.

    Here’s what I think. I think I should buy it and start my own pirate airline.

  18. Cami
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    Trotzenbonnie – I laughed out loud at that one. Ah, the power of immature bathroom jokes.

  19. Trilobite
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    I’m confused by the comment on FBoFW: honestly, I can’t imagine ANYONE in that comic having external genitalia, let alone a feckless slug like Anthony.

    Ugh, I can’t believe I just tried to imagine the FBoFW cast with genitals. It feels like my brain is trying to strangle itself!

  20. commodorejohn
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    #202 Trotzenbonnie (yesterthread) – Oh, I dunno. Although I admittedly haven’t met Your Rotten Kid, the simple fact that you acknowledge your (real or perceived) inadequacy means that you’re certainly not the bottom of the barrel. The real bad parents are the ones who have no clue what they’re doing but think they’re handling everything perfectly.

  21. commodorejohn
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Or #2 Trotzenbonnie (this thread,) apparently…

  22. commodorejohn
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    …you know what? That “AAAAHHH!” panel is just begging for a reenactment.

  23. Emily
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Idon’t even GET Ziggy. Explain?

  24. cheech wizard
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    “No eggs, just mix some yogurt with some fudge mix” = “Forget Toni, why don’t I just bone you up the ass?”

  25. Salmo
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    I love the speech patterns of Herb and Jamaal. The ‘after all’ in its own little bubble is just fantastic.

  26. johnbpt
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    E. coli-mail?

  27. Perky Bird
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    # 14 Ranger– I like to think Anthony got the ring from one of those seedy restroom vending machines. He misunderstood the lable “Pleasure Ring–Guaranteed To Make Her Want More”. That’s why Warren is recoiling in horror–innocent, virginal Liz is foolishly wearing a sex toy on her finger.

  28. Shermy Glamrocker
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    My first reading of today’s Mary Worth made me think there was a bending of the time/space continuum in which the brothers were in two places at once.

    The construction of the narrative sentences contributed to this feeling.

  29. Ed
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    Are…are those Ziggy’s pants around his ankles?

  30. Shermy Glamrocker
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    You have E(xcrement)-mail?

  31. Zaggy
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    When the Zigster took a closer look, he saw that it was just spam.

  32. Mac
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Liz is a Green Lantern.

  33. Poteet
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    I like metaphors so much that I generally try to make allowances for those that are a leetle beet over the top. But Yolanda, there’s no gentle way to say this — yours sucks.

  34. Ron Hogan
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    “Bottom line, I feel bad for Warren.”

    Especially since the light off that ring, it burns!

  35. Harry Worth
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Overheard outside the room of the recently departed Donna Amalfi,

    “What did you get mom for mother’s day?”

    “An urn. She told me she wanted to be cremated.”

    “I got her a coffin, she said she wanted to be buried next to dad.”





    “You son of a bitch!”

    “Bring it on charcoal boy.”

  36. Poteet
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Foob — Now that I look again, my favorite image in today’s strip is Liz’s expression in the final panel. “I really hate to vaporize your eyeballs, Warren — but you’ve left me NO CHOICE !”

  37. El Santo
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    That’s a great final panel in FOOB. One of you enterprising computer savvy types has to photoshop Elizabeth flipping Warren the middle finger. El Santo demands it!

  38. Obstreperous B
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    I like (and by “like” I mean hate with the searing fury of a thousand suns) how Warren doesn’t respond to Elizabeth’s saying she’s engaged, and only recoils when she shows him her finger. Because a woman isn’t truly claimed until there’s a Wedding-Industrial-Complex-approved diamond ring in evidence!

  39. cheech wizard
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    H&J – Sounds like Yawanna is telling Jamaal that she’s not going to hold their previous eight encounters against him.

  40. M-life
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    The last panel of FBOFW makes me think of Star Wars… where Darth Vader merely holds up a hand and strong men drop dead. Or else it’s Vader’s ring from Spaceballs, which shrinks men’s genitalia to a size that is apparently acceptable in the Foob-verse.

  41. aloria
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Since when is Liz engaged to Captain Planet?

  42. Certified Christian
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Is Ziggy a Plugger? Oh, wait. I think I am conflating “Plugger” with “Loser.” Another factor that weighs against this conclusion: Ziggy is a not an obese Were-Bear or Were-Rhino.

  43. Mr. Fogarty
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    TJ is still hoping that he can become part of the Brad and Toni sandwich. He really likes the fudgey parts.

  44. Saxman
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]


    Warren’s first thought is going to be, “why didn’t I carry both her bags down the stairs. What was I thinking.”

    His second thought will be, “I gotta hire a hooker to seduce her finance, then make sure she finds out. Then I’ll be there to comfort her… Ooooh yeah!”

  45. Brent
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Yolanda’s just tired of all the bent nails she’s been seeing lately. She’s hoping Jamaal will fix her problem by nailing some hard, sweet love to her.

  46. cheech wizard
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    36/Poteet: To me, Liz’s expression looks like she’s saying “Warren, I did something really stupid and woke up with this on my hand. Now what are we gonna do about it?”

  47. NotAGoatHead
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: You have E(xciting news from the world of FOOB)-mail.

  48. NotAGoatHead
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: Hey! Are there two water connections to that toilet? Does he have hot and cold running water?

  49. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    I find todya’s Ziggy really, really disturbing. What is up with that floorline? It’s maybe 8″ higher on one side of the toilet. This is physically impossible. This sort of flagrant disregard for the laws of perspective has no place on the funny pages!

  50. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    #7 Trotz, good one… but I’d like to see the toilet saying, “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness…” or maybe “Mazel Tov!”

  51. sally
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: I think they are in on the joke. If this were serious, she’d be wearing that !#$#!@$@ bun that no one her age would ever wear in real life.

  52. SecretMargo
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Missing 4th Luann panel:

    TJ: That’s what I said!

  53. dreadedcandiru2
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    FBorFW: While it’s true that Warren knows about Anthony, he’s also big enough a goof to not read between Liz’s whines and realize that he could get cockblocked by Captain Cinnabuns. Even though my earlier assumption that the three idiots she was stupidly stringing along were unaware of each other’s existence is flat-out wrong, it’s clear that each of them thought they were THE guy in her life. Warren’s reaction is best explained by his uddenly finding out the Liz was “serious” about a rival. Perhaps if he were to get her a nicer ring, she’d dump Awfulny.

  54. Full Batch
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    re Herb & Jamaal:
    Maybe Yolanda’s been dating someone with Peyronie’s disease. This occurred to me because recently I’ve noticed that…well, never mind.
    Best wishes to all CCers.

  55. Anson Pants
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Is that a ring or a radioactive dog turd ?

  56. DaveyK
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    I have no idea why the firetruck in Herb & Jamaal is surmounted by a giant saxophone. However, I look forward with great anticipation to Jamaal and Yolanda discussing “emptying the spit valve.”

  57. Vakar
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    F-: That might motivate me to do more housework. Gas-powered machine indoors, whatever.

    FOOB: Liz now has a superpower: the ability to hold would-be suitors at bay with her luminous hand! Or maybe she just bitch-slapped Warren. Either way, she is clearly more powerful than Spider-Man. Sad.

    FOOB: Or maybe she’s Aurora from Alpha Flight! Except that she was Quebecoise, so therefore would be on Lynn’s BAD list.

    JP: The ultimate weapon against the jihadists: reverse psychology!

    MT: Maybe getting Andy to swallow a GPS would be less suspicious.

    MW: Apparently, the brothers’ fighting was the only thing keeping mom alive. More blood on Mary’s hands.

    OBH: And now, for today’s etiquette lesson, please welcome The Joker!

  58. migellito
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    at what point am i supposed to conveniently forget that Brad and Toni dated for some time, then broke up? if you’re going to do a ret-con, you have to actually DO the ret-con!

    my god… i’m up in arms about Luann lore…

    [searches frantically for pills]

  59. Craig
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    I honestly thought that TJ was going to suggest that Brad feed Toni some “great recipe” brownies (the kind that cause munchies) in order to break the ice with her. After all, it’s not *exactly* GHB, right? Plus, we could see that LuAnn/A3G crossover that no one asked for!

  60. UncleJeff
    May 12th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    FOOB Ring: Oh, Blinding Light! Oh, Light That Blinds!

  61. electro of the Jungle Patrol
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    [Canadian content]I think that Zellers would be a good match for your Zales. It’s actually a discount department store, but the name is close, and if you were as cheap as what’s-his-foob, you could probably buy a ring there too! [/Canadian content]

  62. cheech wizard
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of date recipes, here’s one for Brad n’ Toni skirt steak:

    Take 1 Toni – add to it:
    1 Brad
    Yogurt with eggs (or, for a change of pace, with fudge)
    To this mixture add:
    1 Dirk
    Pound until tender
    Grill; then pound again.
    Serve on a traction bed of starched linen.

  63. Drew T.
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    I think you’ve misinterpreted FOOB this time. Lizardbreath has clearly found and wielded one of the Rings of Power. Her bit about the engagement was just distraction for when she whips out Nenya and brings mystic power down on Warren’s incessant ass. BAM!

  64. Norm
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    Ring? I simply thought that Liz, tired of Warren’s advances, took out her taser and let him have it.

    But that can’t be right, because that’s actually funny, and this is FOOB.

  65. rogonandi
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

  66. Tess
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of Romance. This is the closest thing Ziggy will ever have to love. At least the contents of the toilet cares enough to send him an e-mail.

  67. bats :[
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    Little Guy and cheech wizard: I lied. The Foobery was like a siren song (more like a screeching wail, or nails on the blackboard, but I digress). My flickr account is acting weird, so just click on my name for the continuing adventures of Liz ‘n’ Warren (I’ll post it there later).

  68. Albert Camus
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    “You’ve got mail” became “You have e-mail,” which became “Thou hast electronic communication, m’lord.” And thus, a talking toilet saved the King’s English from extinction.

  69. TurtleBoy
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    Foob: Now that Liz has got her hands on Ming the Merciless’s ring, she’s going to use its power to hold Warren captive in her imperial thrall. That or lay waste to Ardentia. Of course, as we all know, her true calling is the throne of Frigia.

  70. yellojkt
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    Craig (#59):

    Maybe TJ has been buying “stuff” from Alan over at Apartment 3G. Some nice hash brownies would liven up the lemon party.

  71. yellojkt
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    Yolanda: Jeebus, Jamal, how many time’s do I have to say “nail” in my best innuendo-inflected voice before you’ll “hammer” me?

    Jamal: That reminds me. Herb had some fudge he needed me to help pack.

  72. Bitter Scribe
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    If that’s what his toilet does, I don’t want to think about what his computer does.

  73. TheCasey
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    5/12 Comics (Yes, I’m reposting. Sorry. But I added commentary, so I’m like one of those jerks who re-releases their DVD with added features.)

    Garfield – I think Garfield just got a gut boner!

    Funky Winkerbean – “I’m the Juggernaut’s bitch, bitch!”

    Ziggy – I’m not even going to say anything about the joke, which I don’t get. I just want to go on record as saying that I don’t want there to be anything in my toilet that I didn’t put there, and I sure as hell don’t want my toilet to be trying to give me stuff.

    Also, 58, migellito – They actually dated dated? I thought Brad wanted to, but Toni was still with Dirk.

  74. cheech wizard
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    60/Uncle Jeff – I cannot see! Look out for me!

    67/bats: I will be watching!

  75. Little Guy
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: No, considering the state of AOL today, that’s an appropriate place.

    Bats:[ Love the Lio kitty/jihadist mashup.Then again, anything with Lio TerrorKitty makes my cockles glow like Liz’s ring.

  76. NotAGoatHead
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    #75 Little Guy: Glowing cockles. Wow, that must make your pants shine.

  77. Donald The Anarchist
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    H&J But, Yolanda, when the nail droops and shrivels up every time it comes near the wood, you have to kind of assume it doesn’t want to go in…

    Luanne “Now if you want inside the girl, Brad you better make her rasberry swirl”

    Mary Worth “Best…Mother’s Day…Gift…EVER” “BEEEEEEEEEEEEP”

    FOOB Poor Warren. It’s the same finger Liz uses to stimulate Anthony’s prostate, and her hygeine isn’t so good.

    Ziggy I think it would have worked better if we’d seen the one where Ziggy eats the cell phone, wailing, “It SAID ‘Chocolate’ on the LABEL!”

  78. Muddtallica
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy – what? Just, what?

    Mary Worth – Why is the doctor in the second panel apparently groping Ron’s boob? Is that what passes for bereavement counseling these days?

  79. jules
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    That Ziggy is simply the grossest thing I have ever, ever seen on the comics page. And I read Funky Gruesomebean every day.

  80. mojo
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    Since I don’t follow the strip, I’m still trying to parse the true meaning of the metaphor in Herb and Jamaal. Who’s the nail? Who’s the hammer? Who’s the carpenter? Is she advocating a threesome with an unknown third party? Or is it all a clever ruse, and she’s actually proselytizing for Jeebus? That would explain the clipboard, I suppose, but it strikes me she’d do better approaching random strangers at the airport than harassing her poor coworkers.

    And if they’re coworkers, which would open up a whole new kettle o’ fish, since coworkers getting romantically entangled is not the greatest thing in the world for your average small (or large) organization.

    I assume the thoughtfulness in the last panel indicates Jamaal thinks he’s got an excellent sexual harassment lawsuit goin’ on. He’s going straight to Human Resources with this one. When will she learn: NO MEANS NO!!!

  81. Anonymous
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    Wouldn’t it be external reproductive organs?

  82. McManx
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    #7 THAT’s funny Bonnie.

    MW — Next day, the brothers discover that mom made Mary the executrix of her estate and we enter into 3 weeks of the reading of the will punctuated with platitudes from Mrs. Worth. No wonder mom died peacefully — she exacted a terrible revenge on her thankless sons.

    FOOB – Perhaps Liz is wearing the Phantom’s ring and she’s about to slap a skull mark on Warren’s chin. Then again, perhaps she just flipping him the bird, which the Canadians perform with the 3 center fingers pressed together as if one is about to perform a rectal prostate exam.

    Ziggy — Is it the toilet talking, or the deposit inside? Either way, Zig doesn’t seem too surprised. Now if he goes to answer his email…that’ll be pretty fucked up.

  83. odinthor
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy — OK, I’ll be brave and say that Ziggy made me laugh today, though I’m not sure whether the joke draws somehow on a “garbage in/garbage out” motif, some sort of “we have too much technology and in all the wrong places” concept, or some other unspeakable something yet more bizarre and sinister. I think I vote for the “technology” option, perhaps influenced by the fact that recently my (now ex-) doctor was busily texting her family concerning an upcoming social event during my check-up. Um . . .the texting was during my check-up, not the social event. When I have social events during check-ups, I call it “playing doctor,” and . . . er . . . well, never mind all that right now.

  84. Lord-z
    May 12th, 2008 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    Luann: “By the way, that means humpin’.”

    By the way, shouldn’t someone tell TJ that Beverly Hills 90201 is starting up again. No doubt are they looking for bargain bin Jason Priestleys. And, he could tell them about this Brad-Toni romance, and no doubt, after throwing some drugs and STD’s into the story, they could make it last an entire episode. Or at very least the pre-credit sequence.

  85. Lynngineering
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW: Regardless that Lynn seems to be creating more of a pathology, a symptom-to-symptom narrative nowadays, I still have to give a compliment to LynnCo for going all out on the composition of the fourth panel.

    What used to interest me in the days of Michael’s coma, was the fact that when LynnCo wants to they can really conjur up their kind of “melodrama-realism” comic-strip composition until its array of assorted kitchen objects, potato-noses, uniforms, children aging at different speeds, objects and clothing found hidden in spaces, etc… really crosses over into the dark and dream-like, to the point where certain objects seem to matter a bit TOO much.

    It’s like she learned how to draw after the first decade, and became attracted to the potential of composition, or mise-en-scene, almost over character.

    In that respect, what is striking here in the fourth panel, we don’t see any amount of drawing effort given to the penultimate object of Liz’s desire – her ring – in spite of the fact she is showing it and at the same time announcing she’s engaged, and she is staring right at “it”.

    Instead, all that focus is worked out for one really great composition, stilted, artificial, screaming for allegorical reading – in other words, surely lifted out of a Renaissance or Baroque painting, or as this is Lynn, maybe a 19th century reworking. At any rate, in the center of it all, is this gesture created out of two seperate hands, one Warren, one Liz, an ironic pair of hands, their fateful connection is produced by one (apparently dazzling) ring.

    The allegorical pose tells all: Warren’s hand is nearly identical in pose to Liz’s, just that his hand is turned around – darkened palm to the front. He is literally becoming the shadow she casts. She stares at him through the ring, he averts his eyes to the ring. So they in fact, DO compliment each other, but in repulsion and aggression.

    There’s NO ring to see, but instead all that work on his pictorial gesture? His little finger so persuasively articulated and pulling operatically back, the better to match the shape of Liz’s thumb… and his fingers crumpling, hers standing tall and straight.

    It’s a pity that Lynn couldn’t also manage her storylines and written dialog to progress with the strip’s pictorial compositions and occasional drawing (I won’t discuss characters here, but I for one really assume Michael’s progeny and wife etc.. are meant to resemble the Hallmark cards and Stepfords that they are) because if she could – or better yet, if she would have also rethought how she reuses her own history, she could have had a shot of – well, put it like this: if the melodrama comicstrips are “50s Hollywood”, she could have been Douglas Sirk. Now that would have been something to retire gracefully on…

  86. KH
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    #67 bats – could we also have one with the PBS terrorist kitty?

  87. fishmorgjp
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    re Ziggy: a couple of years ago, there was a bad movie based on a Stephen King book, Dreamcatcher. It featured, among other things, nasty alien parasites (called “shit weasels”) that did awful things to human digestive tracts… before exiting from the rear sluice. Ziggy better not look too closely in that toilet.

  88. arlo
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    I got engaged over the weekend. At work today I did enjoy the double-takes and congratulations I got when people noticed “the token that says ‘I’m taken.’” But so far, no one’s recoiled in horror, clutching one hand to his head while protected his chin with the other, while letting out an AAAAHHH!

    … What am I doing wrong?

  89. One-eyed Wolfdog
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    Something marvelous happened to me. I was transported to the porcelain room; there squatted the lord of those demesnes, who was congenial, and I was granted the favor of making a wish. “Do you wish for youth,” came the words, wafting on a breeze of suspicious origins, “or for beauty, or power, or a long life? Do you wish for pants, or a neck, or an overgrown alligator, or any of the other fine things I have here within?” I was, as always, bewildered, hapless, a milquetoast, but I replied, saying “Fairest fixture, I choose one thing: that I may extend my reaches manyfold, if thou knowest what I mean, and I reckon thou knowest.” And there was only a laugh, and the words “You have e-mail”, from which I concluded that my wish was granted, and with good taste — for it would indeed have been inappropriate to say directly: Gain mega huge inches for her pleasure.

  90. Laura
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I might be the only one who noticed, but I definitely perked up when TJ mentioned a “new recipe” for “brownies.” Of course, as soon as he started rambling on about the thoroughly mundane (and somewhat unappetizing–fudge mix?) indgredients, I was assured that, like the HPV Scare of Early May 2008, this is merely something the Luann writers cooked up to lure us in, this time teasing us with the prospect of Toni, TJ and Brad in a THC-saturated threesome, á la Reefer Madness.

  91. bats :[
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    P.S. I avoid Ziggy like the plague, but this one was just so juvenile (poo poo humor!), that I really, really liked it. Sigh.

  92. Shermy Glamrocker
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    One ring for those who woo
    And come around at nighttime
    One ring for former beaus
    And in the darkness, blind them

  93. MarlowePI
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    And today, Garfield makes the most appropriate sound effect ever.

  94. bats :[
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    Oh, yay, flickr is going to cooperate.
    So, here you go, Little Guy and cheech wizard:

    And a requisite Public Service Message:

  95. pccmdoc-Canadaphile
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]


    Wouldn’t Anthony be more likely to get her ring at Canadian Tire? ’cause then he’d get all those ‘Canadian Tire Dollars’ that are so useful.

  96. A lemur
    May 12th, 2008 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    JP: Jeepers, only Cedric the butler can save them now.

    The authors might want to cut back a little on the hash brownies though…

  97. lis
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW: oh, Lynn, why do you tease us so? Every time Warren appears, hope flares in me that Liz may actually open her eyes and ditch Blandthony in favor of someone who’s actually interesting. But alas….I know deep in my heart that it will all come to nothing…. why, Lynn? why?

  98. ralph
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    Josh, your Mary Worth comment today was so very funny, on a day when I really needed a good laugh. Thanks!

  99. TheDiva
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    88 arlo: Have you tried waving it in an ex’s face yet?

    Congrats on your engagement! May your wedding plans be relatively stress-free and your life together full of non-bland happiness.

  100. jestre
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    the analogy used by the female jamaal character is spurious. in this instance, wouldn’t rejection be more like the HAMMER bending when it struck a nail? and, thus, the carpenter would have good reason to lose faith in the hammer.

    oh, jamaal, you’re a bent hammer, and no nail will ever want to make kisses with you. your house is a failure.

  101. J.Noble
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Wedding engagement hi-jinks aside, doesn’t anyone else in this strip realize that Warren is a TOTAL stalker?

    (cue “Every Breath You Take” by the Police)

  102. J.Noble
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: As soon as I saw todays rather disgusting and scatalogical panel, I immediatly had to get on this site because it was a lock to be posted and snarked on. And it was.

  103. jestre
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    and with ziggy, i read that as the toilet desperately trying to avoid ziggy’s gruesome daily eliminations. “you have e-mail! you should go do THAT instead right now! please?”

  104. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    OK, so I was thinking about FBoFW (while reading Lynngineering’s excellent analysis), and it suddenly put me in mind of the song “The Train from Kansas City” by the Shangri-La’s (also covered quiet excellently by Neko Case on her album The Tigers Have Spoken). The themes are similar: a former flame reappears unexpectedly, and has to be told that the girl is now engaged. Only in the song, we never see the actual point when the boy is told about the engagement; we are left to imagine it, with the aid of the poignant line in which the girl assures her fiancé that “I’ll be back in the time it takes to break a heart”.

    I guess what I’m saying is I prefer the Shangri-La’s to FOOB.

  105. bats :[
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, every move you make /
    Every, uh, leaf you rake /
    Every dog you wake /
    Every herring you bake /
    I’ll be watching yoooou…

    [tuba solo]

  106. Talking Squirrel
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Her engagement ring is actually a clove of garlic — Warren has become one of the undead, and this is why we only encounter him creeping out of the shadows anymore.

    He’s so totally caught unawares that the only thing he can think to do is sniff his underarm in a futile attempt to counteract the deadly aroma.

    If you need any more proof of his vampirosity, just check out his ghastly pallor and receding hairline.

  107. nancois
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    48. NotAGoatHead says:

    May 12th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
    Ziggy: Hey! Are there two water connections to that toilet? Does he have hot and cold running water?

    Hot and cold water? Why that would be silly. It must be Ziggy’s DSL connection.

  108. Bill Wright
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    GT: Gil sounds almost Socratic today. “Do what needs doing, Elmer.” Is Gil deeper than we realize? He should have followed up with, “For to do is to be. And remember, what is unbecoming to do is also unbecoming to speak of.”

  109. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    May 12th, 2008 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    Big Sims yesterthread: What th’? Aww no! Welcome back, buddy, you know I love ya!

    #19 Trilobite:

    I’m confused by the comment on FBoFW: honestly, I can’t imagine ANYONE in that comic having external genitalia, let alone a feckless slug like Anthony.

    I would be shocked, shocked! if anyone in FOOB possessed erectile tissue of any kind.

    #88 arlo:

    I got engaged over the weekend. At work today I did enjoy the double-takes and congratulations I got when people noticed “the token that says ‘I’m taken.’”

    Blearrgh, I’d completely forgotten that little ditty… on the other hand, congratulations!

    #94 bats :[ Ohh yeahhh! I particularly love the PSA. It was meant to be.

  110. PeterW
    May 12th, 2008 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    FW: Harry L. Dinkle’s wife is Harriet Dinkle? Clearly, Harry’s either taken up cross-dressing, or he cloned himself at some point.


    That is all.

  111. Michael
    May 12th, 2008 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    When did Ziggy start wearing shoes and pants?

  112. Sorako-chan
    May 12th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    You got your math wrong on this one.

    Talking feces + Ziggy’s blank, thousand-mile stare = LSD trip gone horribly awry

  113. PeterW
    May 12th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    111 Michael: Shoes yes, pants no. Another sign of senility, or something.

  114. PeterW
    May 12th, 2008 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    113 Me: Ah. Now that I see it in color, I have to retract my previous statement. He’s clearly wearing the Blue Pants brand of blue slacks. (not jeans)

    Homer Simpson would approve.

  115. monkey.dave
    May 12th, 2008 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    56 DaveyK: I’m more interested in why the fire truck is about three feet tall. It’s like the city put out tenders on behalf of the fire department and the low bid came in from Tonka. Either that or when you open that trap door at the back of the truck, there will be about 80 clowns in fireman’s outfits pile out.

  116. cheech wizard
    May 12th, 2008 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    94 – Thanks, bats – y’all did that for me and Li’l guy? I’m deeply honored, esp. from someone of your comedic caliber. Your “modifications” are one of the most consistently funniest things on this site, no disrespect to His Holiness.

    But wasn’t there supposed to be a chainsaw in there somewhere? Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

  117. arlo
    May 12th, 2008 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    99. TheDiva: I hung around outside my building with two overflowing bags of groceries for a while, but my hard-working helicopter-flying ex never showed up to give me that opportunity.

    and to 109. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed: Blearrgh, indeed – but thanks for the congratulations from both of you. Now let’s take up a collection for the Deanna dress:

  118. Orange Doorhinge
    May 12th, 2008 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Lyngeneering: EXCELLENT! That really takes me back to college art class! Ah, the long dreamy naps I had then. If only I’d know then what I know now (about insomnia).

    You’ve been watching that Sister Whats-ername, haven’t you?

  119. Canuckguy
    May 12th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    OMG! Elizardbreath has an easier time of making bad men recoil in terror than Spiderman does.

    It’s a sad, sad day in the funny pages, folks.

  120. Mariko
    May 12th, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    26– Knowing Ziggy, it’s more likely E(bola) mail

  121. Dagger
    May 12th, 2008 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    I don’t think that’s the engagement ring in FOOB. More likely it’s an anti-rape device pulsing a strobe light directly into Warren’s eyes.

  122. Disloyal Fan
    May 12th, 2008 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    I only got through half of today’s comments before I was UP TO HERE with Ziggy s&%t! And he’s wearing SLIPPERS, ok????

    In OTHER NEWS, which is to say OTHER COMICS besides the six regularly discussed here, is anybody else as tired of Baldo’s “pitos”as I am? The whole comic is supposed to be about Latinos in America, and…well, not to go off on the whole speaking English while in this country thing, but if the comic is written in English we can suppose English-speaking people are invited to enjoy it. Why then all the damn “pitos”?? Hello, Cantu and Castellanos? We non-Spanish-speaking folk don’t get any punchlines that rely on a knowledge of the Spanish language. And since “pitos” are supposed to be a combination of two Spanish words we aren’t familiar with, we can’t exactly look ‘em up on a Spanish-English Website, now can we!?

    (Sorry, everybody. Bad day at the office. Dammit.)

    (Would it be possible to borrow Elizabeth’s ring so I can kill a coworker? Only the one, I swear.)

  123. Buck Ripsnort
    May 12th, 2008 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure the guys in FOOB have detachable genitalia.

    And that’s clearly a crucifix on Liz’ ring. I hope Warren follows the Hammer films model (turning to dust) rather than the old Universal model.

  124. Disloyal Fan
    May 12th, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    Ok, on a positive note:

    Tiger: Would that my coworkers were as simple as you. I got a half-smile out of this one.

    Rhymes with Orange: Whole smile. After all, I grew up in the era of fake butcher block counters.

    Sheldon: I don’t imagine it’s any easier being a duck.

  125. Hawkeye
    May 12th, 2008 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: What the hell? I mean seriously. What the hell? I’m not even going to try to be funny here tonight. Not like I can, since I think my synapses fused upon reading the fourth panel.

  126. bats :[
    May 12th, 2008 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    117. arlo: $5700 for a freakin’ one-time wearing only DRESS?!? Oh, I forgot…it was custom designed by the famous “Romona,” whose skills apparently rank right up there with Calvin Klein, Vera Wang and Trent of Manitoba.
    What garbage!
    (And while it was 20 years ago, we outfitted me (da bride) and two bridesmaids for $600 in full 17th C. womens’ cavaliers gowns, hoops and undergarments included. Oh, but yes, they were home-made, and that would never do for the Womb of Future Patterfoobs!)

    Best wishes on your upcoming nuptials, too! Don’t go nuts, and do stuff that bucks the traditions, if you want to.
    Which, I guess if it DOES mean going nuts, then do so!

  127. TheDiva
    May 12th, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    Necroposting to add: I got married a little over six months ago, and $5700 covered our entire reception, plus a good chunk of the bridal party’s clothing. There was a lot of DIY involved, but it worked.

  128. Atomic Bird
    May 12th, 2008 at 11:30 pm [Reply]


    One Ring To Rule Them All,
    One Ring To Find Them,
    One Ring bought at the mall,
    That In The Darkness Blind Them

  129. Iedit
    May 12th, 2008 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: I think Warren would have the same reaction in the final panel if Liz had turned around and showed him her gigantic granny-panty-clad arse.

  130. Crankenstank
    May 12th, 2008 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    Actually, the art work in FOOB made me think for one joyful moment that Liz had simply bitch-slapped Warren and he had wimpered and moaned like the little wretch that he is. It makes much more sense from the standpoint of comic conventions, and basic 2008-era reality.

    Hey, wait a sec – why’d Liz LET Warren in the apartment in the first place? A little buyer’s remorse…?

  131. jetty
    May 12th, 2008 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    The joke about Zale’s and its cheap Canadian alternative cracked me up. Zale Corp. owns two Canadian brands, Peoples Jewelers and Mappins Jewelers. I used to work for Zale Corp, and know just how awful they can be.

  132. Edgy DC
    May 12th, 2008 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    I think Brad should only date Toni in profile and therefore keep that pig nose to himself.

  133. Bobdog
    May 12th, 2008 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    I know I haven’ been paying attention to the news much lately, but I didn’t I was so out of it that I would miss the whole “Taliban-taking-over-Canada” story — but I guess that’s what’s happened given that apparently now that she’s engaged, Lizardbreath can’t have non-related males over to her house after dark and Warren’s reacting like is head’s gonna get chopped off because he was hitting on a betrothed woman. That, or signs of commitment are kryptonite to Warren.

  134. Canaduck
    May 13th, 2008 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    The metaphor is Herb and Jamaal is one of the worst ones I’ve ever heard. If the nail bends, does the carpenter lose faith in all nails??? Either that’s the most interchangeable metaphor ever, or Yolanda is making a veiled reference it Jamaal’s impotence. Very crass, Yolanda.

  135. SFMarcus
    May 13th, 2008 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    For Better Or For Cyclopean and Many-Columned Y’ha-nthlei:

    Warren’s horror isn’t caused by radon gas, it’s caused by the stark revelation of Elizabeth’s “Innsmouth Look” in panel 5.

  136. SFMarcus
    May 13th, 2008 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    PS- I just found this website this evening- and have been reading it for the last – ahem- three hours. (The ‘ahem’ indicates there are many other things I should be doing, like – oh I don’t know – sending in the rent-check for May…)
    Where has this URL been all my life?

  137. peaches
    May 13th, 2008 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    FOOB: I think the AAAAGGGHHH! is the best punchline the strip’s had in years. I mean, at least it wasn’t trying to jam a worldweary life-observation into a pun in the final panel.

  138. Arcenciel
    May 13th, 2008 at 3:25 am [Reply]

    It’s ah..2am where I am, so although I’m practically bursting with vitriol for today’s Foob I can only think of one coherent thing to say.

    I did my patriotic duty and participated in Free Comics Day so I can say with certainty thanks to the handy diagram in my free “marvel adventures” comic that Liz is actually wearing one of the rings possessed by the Mandarin.

    Whether it is the Impact Beam, Disintigration Beam, Mind Control Beam, or Black Light Beam, I cannot discern. I’m kind of rooting for the Shape Rearranger Beam.

    But boy howdy, whichever ring it is, I can’t wait to see the Mandarin take it back!

  139. Plasma
    May 13th, 2008 at 4:10 am [Reply]

    Oho, we meet the newest inductee into the Green Lantern Corps: Liz Patterson! This choice is not up to the usual standard of the Corps, to say the least.

  140. Sophist, FCD
    May 13th, 2008 at 4:17 am [Reply]

    It seems clear to me (or, at least, as clear as it possible in the Herbiverse) that the ‘bent nail’ is an oblique reference to a sexual partner’s inability to get it up in bed, and therefore “losing faith in nails” must refer to an attempt at lesbianism. Which would certainly go a long way towards explaining that haircut.

  141. arlo
    May 13th, 2008 at 6:44 am [Reply]

    126/127: Yes that dress is outrageously expensive! And knowing how Deanna’s life has been in the strip since she wore the dress, I’d suggest all brides shy away from it.

    Given how the Foob company is so into merchandizing, I’m wondering how long after the Lizthony wedding they’ll be selling a Grandma Marion/Elizabeth dress?

  142. InkAllergy
    May 13th, 2008 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    If Ziggy were smart, he’d run for the nearest priest to exorcise the demon that lives in his colon and gives birth to talking…. No! Nope, I can’t even begin to visualize what could be in that toilet. I have to go stick a knitting needle deep into my ear to exorcise what sliver of that image exists in my head.

  143. msisaac
    May 13th, 2008 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    As #110 stated, Google had an April Fool’s joke awhile back called TiSP. The joke was that Google would send you a cable that you could connect to your PC and flush the other end down the toilet. Google engineers would find the cable in the sewer and connect it to their broadband service.

    Sounds funny until you consider the recent news that a company called H2O Networks is planning on running 100Mbit/s lines in the sewers of Bournemouth in the UK.

    So maybe Ziggy is living in the near future in Bournemouth, checking his email on a tiny little crap-stained LCD monitor and keyboard mounted neatly on the back wall of his toilet bowl…WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!

  144. RootFish
    May 13th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    H&J: If you take that quote out, it sounds like something a preacher would say during church if he was pro gay.

    Ziggy: Little known fact that sky-net started off as a toilet and now has become self aware. The toilet is trying to distract him by making a fake email spelled out with turds while arnold busts through the wall and kills him.

    Foob: He is actually sinestro in disguise. Yeah crisis on infinite earths included the Foob universe. Just erase all the text with this:

    “ In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil’s might,
    Beware my power…Green Lantern’s light!”

  145. Sandy
    May 13th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    At first, I found this Ziggy to be completely incomprehensible. Then I thought, Ziggy’s existence is shit. So it makes sense that his e-mail is in the crapper, along with the rest of his life.

    I laughed for a good solid minute at the fact that there’s a dead body in Mary Worth. And and the pace that this plot moves, there will be a rotting dead body laying in the background while everyone around the Cadaver Amalfi makes bizarre hand gestures for the next month.

  146. mooshakes
    May 13th, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    You mean this gay bar / bakery?

    “If you’re going to Royal Oak to eat, but you want to avoid the pricey, overcrowded Main Street restaurants and the greasy spoons by the train tracks, go to Pronto. Brightly colored walls add to the lively feel of this often bustling restaurant. The sandwich menu is creative and fun. There’s a bakery if you just want a snack, and a gay-friendly bar with music videos. Grab a sidewalk table in the summer and watch Royal Oak’s faux-trolley go by.”

  147. Steve
    May 13th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Okay, this has to be THE BEST COMICS DAY EVER. Why?

    Let’s start at the top.

    Herb and Jamaal did the infamous shoehorn… so that they could imply the words ‘NAILED’ in relationship to relationships. NAILED. In Herb and Jamaal. NAILED.

    I’ll say it once more… naaaah.

    FBOFW? Is now more exciting than Spiderman. When was the last time we saw Spiderman swing a hand at somebody’s face like that and see the villain scream in mortal anguish?

    On the other hand, I think Liz just put his eye out.

    These two things together…


  148. Randall
    May 13th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    LuAnn: Brad, don’t listen to TJ, what would he know about getting into a girls pants (I know, he’s wearing girl’s pants, but I was trying to obliquly refer to carnal activity.)

    Liquor, Brad, Booze. Trust me, it works.

  149. Randall
    May 13th, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]


    Its wheelchair accessable. I was always told to avoid restraunts where you saw rollaids at the counter.

    Yeah, I know, I’m insensitive.

  150. Astroboy
    May 13th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    #101 jnoble…and Granthony ISN’T a stalker too?

    Why exactly was married Anthony hanging around outside his ex-girlfriend’s CLOSED place of employment in the middle of the night when she was almost raped?

    Unless they had a pre-arranged tryst (and remember, Her Coyness Liz was still claiming she “wasn’t a homewrecker”) there was absolutely no reason whatsoever for Granthony to have been there. Unless he was stalking her.

  151. js
    May 13th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Acid’s finally kicked in, huh Zig?

  152. man behind the curtain
    May 13th, 2008 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    RMMD — Identification? We don’t need no stinking identification!

  153. Ace Diamond
    May 13th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    And now that Warren has seen his personal Ark of the Covenant his face is going to melt

  154. human
    May 13th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Wedding engagement hi-jinks aside, doesn’t anyone else in this strip realize that Warren is a TOTAL stalker?

    When have Liz’s boyfriends EVER not been stalkers?

    Remember her college boyfriend Eric? He waited for her to do her laundry and then went to go take it out of the dryer mid-cycle so she would notice him.

    Remember Paul? Liz’s mom left her sunglasses behind somewhere and he drove ALL THE WAY to Wherever It Was She Taught The First Nations Kids so he could meet Liz, er, return the sunglasses.

    And Anthony — right after she’d almost been raped he begged her to wait for him until he could divorce his wife, the mother of his infant child!

    Warren is SO not unique. I think in Lynn Johnston-land ALL men must be stalkers. And if you date them they cheat on you to teach you lessons about not dating stalkers.

  155. trey le parc
    May 13th, 2008 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    I wish Herb & Jamaal would shack up and introduce this tiresome strip to the one element of originality that would redeem its lameness for lo these many years. Verily this strip doth suck.

  156. Anonymous
    May 13th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    154 Human: If all men are stalkers, and you shouldn’t date stalkers, surely the conclusion should be lesbianism. Candace/Elizabeth, who’s with me? I think Candace would have an interesting effect on Lizardbreath.

  157. Oldhouser
    May 13th, 2008 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    Didn’t read the whole thread, but does anyone else get a whiff of Jesus from Yolanda’s metaphor? Particularly since the comic so often features the preacher?

  158. the incredible shrinking screaming enflamed melon-ed woman
    May 13th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    I have felt like i could have been there for almost all of the story lines chosen for today, except the MAry Worth. I hate plugs and hate more to hear about them being pluuged in or pulled.

    Pull the strings!

    Is it just me or are there some creepy overtones of Beatific leanings to Yolanda’s speech to Jamaal?

    p.s. nice Moonlighting reference, Josh! that show was one of my all-time favorites, with Miss DePesto and Goober. They just don’t make polyester women’s semi-professional dresses like they used to. Or Cybill Shephards, for that matter.

    p.p.s. finger hardware? external genitalia? are you confusing ceremonial bands with dirty tupperware? kinky murmudgeon. you make me want to say the words pink gold, and champagne

    and hock it
    sore pre-warren cathy-esque rant.
    grrr. may is just simply too fucking ass-florid

  159. the incredible shrinking screaming enflamed melon-ed woman
    May 13th, 2008 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    that’s twice i waid exactly what the person posting before me said. sad, lame, incredibly telling of impatience for reading threads thoroughly? all of the above.

    oldhouser, yes. i second that.

  160. tuna melt
    May 13th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    #156 Don’t be so sure the other side of the rainbow is safe. Women can be stalkers, too. And not just the lesbians. The bisexuals have twice the crazy and twice the options. I should know… I’ve been stalked by and stalked both men and women.

    Personally, I’m a much nicer stalker than most, I’ll send you flowers, or just happen to get your cat out of a tree after I scare it up there trying to shave it… and I make an excellent victim as well. Just make sure I’m drinking, and I probably won’t even run if you straddle me, so I’d say, if you’re gonna try girl-on-girl action, be open to the possibility of attention coming back to haunt you.

    A final thought- Warren gives the hanger-on nails on chalkboard feeling of a lesbian stalker, to me. Like he is one of those ex-girlfriends collecting dust under the bed in Dykes To Watch Out For…

    I’m glad all of mine are out of the country. Washing their hair. Or swimming with dolphins or something… happily stalking someone new, ideally.

    The poor woman did get off easy; she had no idea how much a wild-caught tuna on rye can just talk and talk and talk, unless its gay boyfriend potato salad is loafing around… Which is why I think this post just barely comes in under the banner of relevance. Because those ten days on a houseboat in Europe remind me very much of the frightful web of tenacious dark hallways and relationships that hold the for better or for worse comic strip loosely in its shell of droll loopy moorings.

    Somebody make me sangria to shut me up

  161. some guy here
    May 14th, 2008 at 3:35 am [Reply]

    If TJ were a real chef, he wouldn’t be gushing over a new recipe. That’s like Isaac Asimov admitting he got a great idea for his next novel from watching that night’s Star Trek episode – even if it were true you just don’t admit it.

    And I never would’ve thought Ziggy’s desperate cries would be coming from the toilet…or should I?

  162. Pinokeyo's Wife
    May 14th, 2008 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    What I am left to wonder is why (and for that matter–HOW) did Ziggy flush his computer down the toilet?

    And secondly, to the brothers Amalfi (beyond requisite condolences)…I hope that the coffee that you abandoned your (so-near-death-it’s-not-even-funny) mother for tasted really, REALLY good.

  163. TrekkieBear
    May 14th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Is Liz showing him an engagement ring or is she exorcising demons?

    The power of FOOB compels you.
    The power of FOOB compels you.
    The power of FOOB compels you.

  164. Paul in NJ
    May 15th, 2008 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Ah, the site of Warren recoiling like a bad Bela Lugosi imitation from Lizard Breath’s shiny diamondique decoration brings tears to my eyes. No, actually, that would be the stench from the adjoining Ziggy cartoon. (barfs repeatedly)

  165. checking account info
    October 4th, 2010 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    I agree totally with what you’re saying. My only downside is that once I do try to make a change, it works, but I all the time revert back to my identical ways. Sticking to them is what I discover difficult.

  166. downlo bellini
    September 28th, 2011 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Really funny!
    Liked the strip “for better or for worse” best!

  167. Game
    October 18th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    ha ha ha…
    Nice :)

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