The Comics Curmudgeon

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Sunday panel madness

Gosh darn it, those Sunday strips are so big! With my feeble attention span, I could only focus on these small bits of them:

Panel from Mark Trail, 6/8/08

Hmm, there were 50,000 grizzlies in North America, but now there are about 1,200 … plus another 30,000 in Alaska? Apparently the Russians, not satisfied with merely reversing the political consequences of the Alaska Purchase, are secretly in the midst of building a canal down the Alaska-Canada border and using the resulting dirt to fill in the Bering Strait, thus making the grizzy-rich Seward’s Icebox a part of Asia! Mark Trail’s gonna have to punch a lot of Russkies to stop this.

Panels from Shoe, 6/8/08

The philosophical implications of Roz’s first statement here — “I hate time” — sort of boggle my mind. Does she hate time as an abstract concept? Does she wish that everything happened at once? Is she actually opposed to entropy, which scientists call “time’s arrow”? These intellectual musings serve to distract you from her statement in the second panel, which, given that Shoe takes place in an all-bird milieu, we must take quite literally: Roz has horribly mutilated one of her fellow avians and is wearing its feet as some kind of grisly trophy. Her “somewhere” implies that she doesn’t even know the whereabouts of her hapless victim, implying that she committed her ghastly crime in a fugue state — so perhaps it’s “lost time” that she really has a beef with.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/8/08

Speaking of philosophical dilemmas, Rex is about to find out just how hard it is prove a negative. “See, here’s my ID, which says, ‘Rex Morgan, M.D., a doctor, and totally 100 percent not a cop.’”

Panel from Family Circus, 6/8/08

Ha ha! Jeffy is terrifying his little brother with some kind of horrific demon mask! Oh, it’s all fun and games until Daddy finds out he’s been poking around in the Ritual Room again.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 6/8/08

“She is convinced that Shady Shrew is the nut-grabber.” Oh, well played, sir.

UPDATE: Oops, that’s actually “nut-nabber.” Curse you, tiny type and failing eyes! I like my version better anyway.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 07:09 pm and is filed under Family Circus, Mark Trail, Rex Morgan, M.D., Shoe, Slylock Fox.

176 responses to “Sunday panel madness”

Saturn
June 8th, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

Wait, hasn’t that SF peanut strip been used before? Looks awfully familiar.
commodorejohn
June 8th, 2008 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

Sadly, that’s “nut-nabber,” Josh. But yes, for a brief moment that’s what I thought too.
NoahSnark
June 8th, 2008 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

Apparently continuous use of the Fist of Justice degrades one’s ability to recognize that Alaska is part of North America.
Carly
June 8th, 2008 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

What’s the old proverb involving a man with no feet? “Where there’s a man who has no feet, there ours shall go singing…”
Oh, wait, that’s a Jewel song.
Mac
June 8th, 2008 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

And yet, with all the dwindling of their numbers, nobody has yet explained to the grizzlies man’s hostility to them.
Ron Hogan
June 8th, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

Why does Shylock Fox think Shady Shrew is lying? Because he is consumed by paranoia and mistrust, I say!
Harold
June 8th, 2008 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

So apparently Slylock has never heard of the practice of eating peanuts with the shells on, for the added fiber, sodium, and filth?

Plus, that’s a freaking shrew. In twenty minutes he would have eaten that entire bag of nuts, shells and all, plus a few nut carts that he passed on the way to the park. I seem to recall that shrews eat at least their own weight in food every day. Voracious buggers. A shrew that size would be a real terror. (See the early twentieth century science fiction story The Very Hungry Guinea Pig for a further investigation of what would happen in a rodent were made giant-sized.)
pccmdoc
June 8th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

Mark has obviously been looking at weather maps, which clearly show that Alaska, like Hawaii, is an island in the Pacific, due west of California and Oregon; keeping the rest of us North American’s free from the encroachment of ravenous Grizzlies.
alamo
June 8th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

yeah roz, and in here there is a bird with no brain.
Orange Doorhinge
June 8th, 2008 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

MW: To “revitalize” a downtown means to cut down all the current trees and put in tiny Japanese maples in their place so that there are more parking spaces. Install streetlights that look like old-fashioned gas lamps, and redo the sidewalks with birck inlay (pink concrete actually). Then force all the merchants to have identically colored awnings with the store name in gold. Famous chains such as Starbucks and Double Rainbow are exempt of course. And Ron owns a cement distribution/Nursery/lamp post store.
pccmdoc
June 8th, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

Oh, and I conveniently keep my Doctor badge on top of my Cop badge, hiding it from nosy, MRSA colonized teens.
anonomous
June 8th, 2008 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

Four comments and a Question:

RMMD: You can tell that guilty kid is the filthy and diseased epicenter of the dread MRSA outbreak. He is ugly, he is a cowardly weasel running from ‘the law’ , and he tacks the word ‘man’ onto the end of his sentence to convey his contempt for society in general.

Brenda Starr: Woo-hoo! We are finally getting the first interesting storyline in donkey’s years! Basil the Mystery Man has surfaced (?) and his ex-wife and son are going to track him down. Let us overlook the fact that, technically, by now Brenda would have better luck finding Basil living in a retirement village in Florida. Riding a motorcycle across a foreign country? He could break a hip and would Medicare help him out then? I don’t think so!

The Phantom: The things you learn! Who knew one could find diamonds in knee deep water, and all you need is a sieve? All those diamond mines and slave labor and blasting into the bowels of the earth? Not necessary! Take that, de Beers! Just look for a river with some cowering natives being guarded by a tough guy with a rifle….

Blondie: Dagwood wants to go golfing and does some obsequious housework to get Blondie’s ‘permission’. Which leads me to my question:

WTF IS it with golf? In comics and almost every situation comedy on TV, the man of the family has to either sneak out with his golf clubs, or beg permission/bargain with/wear down his ball and chain, to be allowed to go golfing. There’s always a nagging, whiny shrew of a wife who just about bursts a vessel over the issue.

What is it about golfing? Is it so expensive? Is the shrieky housewife jealous that her husband gets to leave the house a few hours? (What is he supposed to be doing at home that’s so important, anyway? Fixing things? Taking her shopping? Mowing the lawn?) I could see her objection if golf was really expensive, if he golfed multiple times a week, if he got loaded after the game and came home at midnight plastered. But barring that, why is golf so feared and loathed by every bitch of a housewife? Anyone able to explain this big fat cliche?
dbp
June 8th, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

“Bones, arrest these Klingons.”
“Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a cop.”
Flo's Rolling Pin
June 8th, 2008 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

@13

dbp, you beat me to it by minutes. Well-played!

Hey, Josh, that’s s-t-r-a-i-t you mean.
Lou Shumaker
June 8th, 2008 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail must also be forgetting that Canada — you remember them, don’t you? Celine Dion? hockey? Tim Horton’s? Bare Naked Ladies? SCTV? — is also part of North America. There are about 26,000 ~~grizzleys~~ ~~grizzlies~~ bears there as well.
Emily
June 8th, 2008 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

I’m not sure if the trenchancy of the Thomas Merton (b. 1915 – d. 1968) quote about modern alienation is undercut by the fact that he died before the cassette tape. On the one hand we have Technology Makes Us Lonely and on the other hand, True Genius Speaks Through The Ages. It’s like a car-crash of tired ideas!
Green Locust
June 8th, 2008 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

@12

Actually, alluvial diamond mining often takes place in developing nations by those slaves that you refer to. See this from your good friends at the USGS to learn even more! Or, you know, just watch Blood Diamond.
Sorako-chan
June 8th, 2008 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

That young man had better go to an optometrist after this is over, as he clearly has vision problems. No one with functioning eyes would ever mistake Rex Morgan for a cop.
odinthor
June 8th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

#12. Anonymous. Golf and the Ladies. OK, I’ll take a stab at it for a starting point, though perhaps Armageddon beckons… The golf situation has become a standardized, almost ritualistic, trope in pop entertainment, dating back to at least about 1928, when we see Laurel & Hardy going through an elaborate ruse to get out on the course (”Should Married Men Go Home?”, 1928). I think that the (1910s-1920s) understanding one is supposed to bring to it is that (a) the ladies want their respective men home with them whenever possible for those cozy moments they thought marriage was all about; (b) golf is time-consuming and, by its nature, takes place on the weekends or other long stretches of time when hubby owes it to the little woman to be at home for said cozy moments; (c) men being dogs, they will likely chase after all available skirts whenever they have lots of time and the wife isn’t near; and (d) the only real reason any husband would not want to be with his wife at each and every conceivable moment (tee hee, “conceivable”) is necessarily because “he doesn’t love me any more!“. And so, hilarity ensues.
Benjamin Baxter
June 8th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

I hate that I spent any time at all reading that panel.

http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/
BigDave
June 8th, 2008 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

#12 – Yes, Golf IS that expensive – and it’s addictive, and time consuming. For a good take on it, read Carl Hiassen’s latest book, “The Downhill Lie”.

I think all cartoonists fall into this trap (heh-heh – ‘trap’, a golf joke) as they get older, and more likely to actually play the game. Image “Calvin and Hobbes”, had BW continued it, delving into golf jokes – The Horror! (Well, maybe not – imagine the absurd, cubist nightmares that Calvin’s golf courses would be!)
Inspector Dim
June 8th, 2008 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

Jimmy to Rex: “Okay, I guess I’ll accept a NAMBLA ID card…”
AhClem
June 8th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

Re: Reasons some wives object to husbands playing golf.

Three words: Beer Cart Girl.
Dingo
June 8th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

Hey, folks. I’m just now getting around to putting my old web site back together. In the meantime, I created this today and some of you may enjoy it.

Far From Heaven
Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
June 8th, 2008 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

#1: Yes, that SFx puzzle is the exact same problem and solution that appeared in the first SFx Josh ever commented on, seen at http://joshreads.com/?p=575–right down to the characters. The artwork and wording here are a little more interesting here, I think; nb Shady Shrew’s pirate bandana and the term “nut-nabber,” but that doesn’t in my mind compensate for repeating one’s work.
Anonymous
June 8th, 2008 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

hey dingo,

What’s that on Hillary’s head? Are you anti American or is Hillary a terrorist?
Tom Bombadil
June 8th, 2008 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

MT: I work with several Russians, and while many of them sport facial hair, not all do so. How can Mark possibly deal with such devilish tricksters?
ComixLovin'Cat
June 8th, 2008 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

My answer to the Slylock Fox puzzle: the cat is still under the bench, so the giant rodent’s shadow has not had time to cool it off, thereby waking up and annoying the cat. OTOH, it seems that the “artist” didn’t really draw a shadow under the bench, although the shadows are implied directly underneath everything else, in which case the solution would be: the “artist” didn’t have time to draw the shadow under the shrew, so he must’ve just gotten there.

CLC

P.S. Josh, I’m in Baltimore for a conference. WTF is up with the weather? It’s less hot (not necessarily “cooler”) in Atlanta!
short a clever name
June 8th, 2008 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

Hoarding the grizzlies? No no no, Josh. The Russians are *sending* us grizzlies.

With the sabre-rattling Putin’s been doing on and off the last few years, it just makes sense that they’d want to unleash a horde of godless killing machines on us, but do it by the sneaky back-door way. We weren’t supposed to know about it until the wave of Neo-Great-Bears crippled our summer cruise industry and wiped out our friends to the north, but those Discovery Channel punks stumbled on the secret Russo-Urso pipeline while filming that show about people pretending that they’re explorers or something up on the tundra.
SmokeReader
June 8th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

MW: I think Ron’s interest in politics is just an excuse for him to indulge his love for eating takeout at his desk while talking on the phone about decorative streetlamps.
selfee
June 8th, 2008 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

Wait wait wait… there’s a Rex Morgan panel where the only text is “… and I don’t think he’s coming out!” and you DON’T feature it?

Josh, are you feeling o.k.?
Snicker
June 8th, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

What the f…we’ve seen that Slylock Fox before!

http://joshreads.com/?cat=66&paged=15

Obviously, Slylock Fox has finally run out of petty, meaningless misdemeanors to jump on, and has taken to paying actors to portray his earlier cases. All for the sake of keeping up appearances, because Cassandra Cat only likes a man with a fast life.
Kelly
June 8th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

I always hated SF as a kid for not “playing fair” with their mysteries. How the hell are the little kids reading SF supposed to know that that no peanut shells were found in the bag?! Dirty pool, Slylock.
anne
June 8th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

why is shady shrew wearing hopsital scrubs and a polka-dot do-rag? is he some kind of bad-assed surgeon on his break?
Dagger
June 8th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

Hmmm, Slylock’s being bothered with a trivial issue when all he wants is to enjoy a nice bike ride. Sounds like my afternoon yesterday.
Little Guy
June 8th, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

7: Re SFx: I agree that Shady could have eaten the shells. So, what do you want to do, Slylock? Wait a few hours and ask for a fecal sample?
Naked Bunny with a Whip
June 8th, 2008 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

Don’t worry, Josh. I’ll always be your nut-grabber.
Dr. Mabuse
June 8th, 2008 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

The only Sunday strip I read is FBOFW, just to follow the madness. It’s published in our local paper on Saturday, but as I also get it online, I noticed that our paper never includes the first two frames. Is that normal? Is the strip regularly issued in a “cropped” form for the print media, and a longer form online? It’s just odd. Whenever I get one of Elly’s abusive temper tantrums from the past, it’s a shock to look at the online version the next day and realize that it’s two frames worse than I thought!
Josh
June 8th, 2008 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

#14 Flo — Ooops! Fixed.

#38 Dr. Mabuse — Most Sunday strips have two “throwaway” panels that can be removed so that newspapers can use various layouts for their Sunday comics sections. In some papers you’ll see them, and others you won’t (and they’re always online, obviously). Their weird disconnect is often my target on Sunday. For the most egregious example, check out the Blondie here:

http://joshreads.com/?p=868

(Scroll down a bit).

Josh
Dr. Weird
June 8th, 2008 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

38, Dr. Mabuse Every Sunday comic has an extra couple of optional panels like that, letting the papers decide if they want to run them to take up more space or to go without and keep it compact. Also so they can be run in a vertical format.
survivor
June 8th, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

Q – Why does Slylock Fox think Shady Shrew is lying?

A – Slylock Fox is racist and Shady Shrew looks like a dirty Mexican to him.
Nekrotzar
June 8th, 2008 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

I’ve been meaning to start on online petition calling for the abolition of entropy. I object on principle to bosons as well. And Mallard Filmore.
Nekrotzar
June 8th, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

#38-40 – In one of the Calvin & Hobbes collections (I think it is the 10th anniversary one) Watterson describes the limitations of the Sunday format. In addition to having throwaway panels, there are certain required panel breaks so that the strip can be rearranged to fit several geometries. After a nasty fight, Watterson got his syndicate to allow him to disregard those rules, which allowed him to draw some of his finest strips.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
June 8th, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

I have adjusted my hypothesis on the middle panel of the bottom row of Sunday’s Mary Worth. It is now obvious to me that the waiter in the background is Mark Trail in disguise. After a Sunday-review strip tomorrow, Tuesday’s panel will feature Mark Trail ripping off his mustache and throwing a punch at Ron while yelling, “NOT AS SORRY AS YOU ARE!” It won’t make sense to us, it’s just the code word that he says into the bug in his jacket to let Dr. Jeff Cory know that the first of justice has been delivered, and his revenge is nigh complete.

My previous hypothesis was that it was Jeff, but I think it’s pretty obvious that he is in the first panel of the middle row.
Norm
June 8th, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

Overturn entropy? Does Ron have that kind of authority yet?
Cafangdra
June 8th, 2008 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

BigDave@#21:

Actually, if I recall correctly Bill Waterson was as tired as anyone by other comics’ reliance on golf gags. He specifically avoided any mention of golf but once or twice allowed himself big gorgeous Sunday strips about Calvin’s father biking–Waterson’s hobby. He didn’t want to spend too much of his energy and talent writing and illustrating gags about stuff that as far as he knew might only be amusing to himself and a handful of other cycling enthusiasts.

tl;dr version:

biking:Bill Waterson::Golfing:Mort Walker et al
JP (not Judge Parker)
June 8th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

Ugh, my ability to make even halfway-decent comments has been greatly dulled by my vacation time. At any rate, I’ve enjoyed catching up on the last two weeks of snark, everyone.

There better be a confrontation between Dr. Jeff and Ron, perhaps one that dissolves into a food fight, before the week is over or I’ll be very disappointed.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 8th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

Hey there, all you listeners out in audio-broadcast-carried-by-modulated-electromagnetic-waves land! It’s time for the Popular Music Songs That Everybody’s Talking About Show with Herb and Jamaal! Our first song is from that controversial female singer with all the substance abuse problems, from that island country across the ocean:

“They tried to make me go to a recovery center for people having trouble with addictive substances, I responded in the negative, negative, negative…”
Necktie Weasel
June 8th, 2008 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

#28 – As a Baltimoron who is melting right now, all I can say is, wtf. Yeah, not digging this whole “87 degrees at 11 PM” thing.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 8th, 2008 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

Feel free to fill out Herb and Jamaal’s playlist.
odinthor
June 8th, 2008 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

50. TSSB. — I hear they’re going to play that new country song, The Clubhouse Blues. You know, the one with the chorus:

Ah went fer to do some golfin’,
Just ta have a little fun,
But the wife, she grabbed a pistol
And made a hole in one.
Steven
June 8th, 2008 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

Interesting that no one is speculating what is going on at Toni’s place in Luann….

Especially with all the nut grabber remarks.

The little bratlett will soon be asleep, and will it then be time for Brad and Toni to go to bed too?
Helena Handbasket
June 8th, 2008 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

#34 & #36, if we combine your ideas, we get the classic “Scrubs” song, “Everything Comes Down to Poo!”
Doug Puthoff
June 8th, 2008 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

This blog and “Dysfunctional Family Circus” have corrupted me. When I read Grandma saying “Jeffy! Your being a real handful today!” I couldn’t help but think about masturbation.
Tom Bombadil
June 8th, 2008 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

There is and forever shall be only one true nut grabber.
Doug Puthoff
June 8th, 2008 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

MT–More information about grizzlies–not to mention geography–can be found on the Internet.
Bobdog
June 8th, 2008 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

Of course Rex is not a cop — but as is the case with any of the CSI franchises, the lack of actual law enforcement authority will not prevent him from acting like one.
Bobdog
June 8th, 2008 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

I hope Slylock charges exorbitant fees for his services — and when the Elephant lady complains about the bill, he says something along the lines of “Sorry mam, but I don’t work for peanuts.”
bats :[
June 9th, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

Gads, I hate these weekends when I need another weekend to recover. And no time to read the funnies or the snark.

54. Doug Puthoff: I was thinking of similar smart-assedness. Or rage. Or despair:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2562882203/
Nekrotzar
June 9th, 2008 at 12:05 am [Reply]

#50 I’m too out of touch with Popular Music to know what you are talking about. I mostly listen to those symphonies by that composer, played by that group of people with instruments that you bow, strike, or blow into. Played back via that recording medium, of course, or attending a concert in that city that everyone goes to.
Trotzenbonnie
June 9th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

Mr T has always been encouraged to play golf on Saturday mornings by his most enthusiatically supportive and apparently overly indulgent wife.
Until now.
Thanks to Ah Clem @ #23 I now know the true meaning of the 19th Hole.

Can I interest anyone out there in a set of gently used custom-made extended shaft graphite clubs? Mr T won’t be needing them anymore.
TeacherPatti
June 9th, 2008 at 12:34 am [Reply]

#54–Doug! Thanks for introducing me to the wonders/horrors that is the Dysfunctional Family Circus. I had never heard of it (I often miss glaringly obvious things though).
That is just an awesome site :)
commodorejohn
June 9th, 2008 at 12:43 am [Reply]

#50 The Spectacular Spider-Brick – Are we filling out with what we think they ought to listen to, or what they would? Because if we’re handing out recommendations, I’d suggest they pick up that one group from that island nation in the Atlantic that does long-form, complex songs with electric instruments. You know, the one with the high-voiced lead singer and the classically-trained keyboardist. Or is that too specific?
Jack Parsons
June 9th, 2008 at 12:55 am [Reply]

I will sleep better at night knowing that Rex is not an officer of the Medical Police.
Mibbitmaker
June 9th, 2008 at 1:01 am [Reply]

Monday Preview:

FOOB: There’s Liz. Good ol’ lethally selfish, indecisive, familially indifferent Liz.

FW: Speaking of people who are all heart…
bats :[
June 9th, 2008 at 1:16 am [Reply]

MW Sunday: WHAT is wrong with Ron’s jacket in the last panel? Is Jeff trying to make amends by sneak up behind him and beating him to the glass-clink with Mary?

I don’t know. I don’t hold out much hope for this new relationship for Mary:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2563055763/
Anna Nimity of the Podcasting Jungle Patrol
June 9th, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

Monday’s Funky Winkerbean: The correct answer to his question is, “No, asshole, do it yourself.”
20 Miles From the City
June 9th, 2008 at 1:26 am [Reply]

Dude…Jeffy is an asshole.
Poteet
June 9th, 2008 at 1:28 am [Reply]

So what happened to Ron’s brother and the brothers’ newfound closeness? Do I have to give up my faint hope for a threesome?
Poteet
June 9th, 2008 at 1:29 am [Reply]

# 69 — Sorry, should have made clear that I was talking about MW, and it’s Mary, repeat Mary, who would have been the third in the threesome. Dear God.
Poteet
June 9th, 2008 at 1:30 am [Reply]

# 70 — So now I need brain bleach because of what I did to my own brain. I’m going to bed.
Corby
June 9th, 2008 at 1:44 am [Reply]

Entropy? Time’s arrow? Someone has been reading this month’s Scientific American! I just read that article today while on an uncomfortably long flight. (And paid about $20 for that magazine in Rio de Janeiro… but I needed something nice to read in English.)
Dingo
June 9th, 2008 at 1:58 am [Reply]

Ah, Elizabeth. What better reason to marry your childhood milquetoast than the eminent death of your grandfather. Perhaps this will also be the reason April gives behind losing her virginity.
Mibbitmaker
June 9th, 2008 at 2:01 am [Reply]

6/9:

9CL: Keeping up with the basic theme I outlined already from FOOB & FW (#65).

A3G: Alan and Haley — those two manage to be simultaniously sleazy and perky.

Archie: The janitor has ALL the power! MUAH-HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Fast Track: A tree, left alone? Mr. “Everybody needs a friend” Bob Ross won’t be a happy little spirit!

Garfield: Wait, tabby! Have you seen what you looked like back in 1978?? You might want to rethink that, Garf. (Though it would rid him of those stupid damn huge feet he’s got…)

GF: Besides, looks like fellow feline Bucky’s already using the time machine, anyway, Garf.

HotC: Dean calling Buster Bluth…

H&J: So that’s how Bruce Tinsley passes the time! Besides drinking, I mean.

JP: “She’s very baleful about it!” (How it’d end if it were a humor strip)

MF: Speaking of whom: He still thinks elitism is about food/drink items. Looks like anyone who just plain ol’ thinks the masses are intellectually beneath him or her are safe. Of course, money elitists were always safe from the duck, being part of his constituancy and all.

MT: It’s getting bad in Lost Forrest — those birds are going out of their way to not appear to be spouting the dialogue in panel 2. I really don’t blame them, I just hope they don’t get dizzy doing that.

MW: The people need to know that their new concilman’s a pod person!!

MC: Wow, that was fast, Ed!

PBS: Y’see, that’s exactly what McCain’s talking about, Barack.

Ghost-Who-Also-Jumped: Yeah, Wrenchy, c’mon now — this lurking thing is getting old!

Popeye: When they said in the news recently that forced smiling was unhealthy, they weren’t kidding!

R&R: Yeah, he’s starting to look like Joan Rivers.

RMMD: “…That’s my business, Jimmy!” “Touche, Doc.”

S-M: Spidey will give bird-suit-brain the flu. That’ll teach ‘im!

The… Mind of Edison Lee: Alright, who ghost-wrote this one — Tinsley or Stantis?

ZtP: “Maximum Load”. That says it all, doesn’t it?

Zits: Keith Moon was a crooner!
Mibbitmaker
June 9th, 2008 at 2:03 am [Reply]

6/9 Zits: “…and now, on this station: the soft, lilting tones of “Moby Dick” by Led Zeppelin…”
Carly
June 9th, 2008 at 2:16 am [Reply]

21 – I think biking was the C&H version of golf. I always related to the dad’s biking in that strip because that IS my dad, whereas mine was never a big golfer. One strip in particular that stands out in my mind is the one where Calvin comments that kids grow up thinking whatever their parents do is normal, dad barges in extolling the virtues of his early morning ride in terrible weather, and Calvin says, “Well, maybe normal is too strong a word.” That is my father to a T. I think it’s all made funnier because Calvin is afraid of his own bike.
Tom
June 9th, 2008 at 2:18 am [Reply]

The best bit of Slylock is the throwaway scene in which Polly’s puny pink pachyderm pup is molesting Max the Mouse with a runaway rattle. Are you just gonna take that, Max?
Mariko
June 9th, 2008 at 2:45 am [Reply]

MF–
I love how, after saying everybody is over-sensitive to racism, Tinsley runs this series about how Obama is supposedly elitist by making him unaware of simple drinks. Oh, that biting right-wing rhetoric. When is Mr Nosegay going to have a section called “What’s Elitist Today?”
Frank Parsnip
June 9th, 2008 at 2:56 am [Reply]

A3G: Haley is perhaps the nicest drug addict ever, completely flipping upside down all known preconceived notions about how the dealer-addict relationship is supposed to go. Years later, Alan will be in a Dealer’s Anonymous meeting: “Well, I first got into dealing dope when an addict pressured me to help her out. Dealing to her gave me self-esteem… made me feel like I could be somebody. She was always telling me how ’sweet’ I was and how important I was to her. Now I realize that becoming a dealer is not a ’sweet’ thing to do for a friend.”

Jugs Parker: The old Abbey-client privilege isn’t worth too much… she’s already blabbed it right to Sam.

MT: Finally we can understand why Mark always wears that tan shirt-and-pants outfit all the time — it’s a stealth mode that allows him to fit in perfectly with the identically colored walls of the Trail cabin. You can see from the tan picture frame and painting that he’s also been hanging up his stealth art. If the little corner of frame in today’s strip doesn’t persuade you, look back at Saturday and you can see a tan-framed picture of two tan birds flying across a tan void.

Sex Organ, M.D.: After this little fiasco in Rex’s trying to talk to Jimmy about sweaty infectious wrestling mats, I am now pretty sure that Rex should’ve sent in his icy Nagelesque wife to handle this whole situation.

Spider-Man: Let me understand this right. The Vulture basically taps on the windows of a helicopter and they turn over a bunch of jewels just like that. And then Spiderman, who basically can only swing in little arcs based on the height of nearby buildings is chasing after this guy who can actually fly. Methinks the Vulture just needs to fly out over Brooklyn to make SM go from hero to zero.

Slylock Fox: Despite the blatant false advertising, Slylock is still giving Shady some business here.

MW: Mary seems to think that the City Council thing is just part of a stream of “good karma” streaming Ron’s way ever since his mother died. As if he didn’t have to get on a ballot, campaign, or actually do anything; in Mary’s view the recent good turn of events is completely the result of Ron having followed Mary’s advice. Reminds me of a bit that comedian Dana Gould did many years ago, consisting of a portrayal of Lincoln using the sort of information that one gets from Denny’s placemats: “Sixteenth president of the United States! Oh, lucky day!”

FC: Dolly, that poor purple-coated little girl was trying desperately to call her mom to come pick her up immediately from this play-date gone wrong. Just because her first sentence was: “Oh God, you gotta get me the hell out of here” doesn’t mean she was actually speaking to God at the time.

Funky Pantysniffer: In Funky’s lexicon, the phrase “checking on our other franchises” means going to each one personally and eating one of everything.

DtM: Ringing the doorbell, not menacing. Basically an intact door is just too far away from “menacing” to even measure. More information about menacing people can be found on the internet.
A Lemur
June 9th, 2008 at 3:28 am [Reply]

RMMD: “okay, man, now prove to me that you’re not some creepy pedophile that’s going to lure me in with promises of fishing trips and then set me up in my own luxury apartment where you can difile me in every way your sick, depraved mind can imagine.”

June: “Why that’s ridiculous, tell him Rex. Rex? Are you hyperventilating?”
Frank Parsnip
June 9th, 2008 at 3:31 am [Reply]

Mariko (78): I guess Tinsley simply saw how effective it was to destroy the “real-guyness” of a candidate by claiming them to be elites. Bush No. 41 had that awful moment where he saw a barcode scanner during a supermarket photo-op and found it a fascinating bit of “new” technology.

In contrast, the McCain and Clinton people figured Obama as an “elitist” recently for saying that some of the people stuck in jobless rust-belt economies were “bitter”. If Obama had referred to the “acromony” felt by such voters, perhaps they might have scored some points among the non-Scrabble-playing crowd. One could also accuse Obama of being “elitist” based on his Columbia and Harvard educations but then one could also say Annapolis (McCain) and Wellesley and Yale (Clinton) are also “elite” insitutions as well.

I’m actually quite ok with the notion that we ought to be electing presidents who are among the “elite”, the best-and-brightest of our nation. Bruce Tinsley apparently feels the opposite — perhaps feeling the sort of kinship that bitter DUI-arrestees often feel with our sitting president, he wishes to see a continuation of mediocrity.
Mr. O'Malley
June 9th, 2008 at 4:08 am [Reply]

BC: This reminds me of The Lockhorns, or maybe Rodney Dangerfield.

A3-G: I don’t want to insist that comics always present some kind of moralistic viewpoint. But the portrayal of drug trafficking we’ve seen so far has been a depiction of innocuous entrepreneurship. Apparently drugs don’t get you high, in fact the only effect they seem to have is to interest you in mediocre artwork. Although Haley hasn’t yet picked up on Alan’s depictions of suburban homes.

I have only been following this strip for the last couple of years. Maybe a long-time reader can fill me in. How long have Alan and Lu Ann been an item? Are the various boyfriends fairly temporary? I’m guessing that Alan will be headed for the lockup eventually. Lu Ann still has the museum docent waiting in the wings.

While on the subject of Tibet, this story describes the sentencing of the protestors who climbed up the cables of the Golden Gate Bridge with a “Free Tibet” poster—25 hours community service with Students for a Free Tibet. Let’s hope that Eric gets such a light sentence.

Pluggers delay everyone else in the line at the supermarket by not getting their coupons out ahead of time, which they could easily do while they’re standing in line with nothing better to do, except they are such moronic imbeciles that constructing mental images of future actions exceeds their powers of cogitation. (The dog appears to be stoned, the only rational response to working a job of this kind.)

I liked the Peanuts at the Houston Chronicle today (not the one we get in our paper). Almost refrigerator magnet quality.
Grant Hutchins
June 9th, 2008 at 4:47 am [Reply]

“Prove it, man, show me some id.”

I read that in the Freudian sense, which makes it more entertaining.
Squid Countess
June 9th, 2008 at 5:33 am [Reply]

9CL – Edda and Angela, let’s see… should they have passionate screaming sex together, or continue to pretend they really want Amos’s inept, damp, pokings? This is what McEldowney has brought me to; Amos is so utterly repellant, I’m praying this strip turns into Dykes to Watch Out For.
Kiesha
June 9th, 2008 at 6:17 am [Reply]

FOOB: Hurry Liz, Grampa’s gonna die! The ONLY reason to get married is so your addled, stroke-n-Alzheimer’s ravaged grandfather can try to hump you in your grandmother’s wedding dress as you walk down the aisle toward your density.
Squid Countess
June 9th, 2008 at 6:27 am [Reply]

#84 – I mean Edda and Isabel, not Edda and Angela. Though I’m sure any two women would rather have sex with each other than have sex with Amos.

#85 Kiesha – Did you mean “destiny?” “Density” is a very interesting slip of the tongue – I like it a lot. One would be about to met one’s density, walking down the aisle to Anthony.
gleeb
June 9th, 2008 at 6:52 am [Reply]

People don’t use “grizzly-rich” as an adjective enough.

A3G: Awww, that’s so sweet. Alan, can’t you see she loves you?
“And they called it,
Junky love…”

Dick: It must be near the end of Tracy’s budgeting fiscal year. He needs to justify that helicopter purchase.

‘bean: And more proof, unneeded, that Funky is a family-neglecting, work-obsessed jerk. Actually, I think he’s just going to New York to keep an rendezvous with Ed Crankshaft. No, not what you’re thinking. He just wants to ask Ed why he never ages.

GA: Left. Right. Left. He can’t keep that kitty on one arm for more than a panel at a time.

H&J: There’s not much difference in pressing the button repeatedly and watching that happen.

Pardon My Planet: The anachronism, it hurts. Why is that figure dressed in early 17th century clothing at what cannot be before the late 18th century? And why is he dressed as a bishop? And what’s with the guy in the black mask? I mean, I assume this is supposed to be the Reign of Terror, when executions were celebrated, and the clergy were imprisoned.

Rhymes with Orange: A nice paradox from the cartoonist pinch-hitting for Hillary Price.

Slylock: I know you want me to say something about the sphere as the solid with the smallest surface area to volume ration, but I think it’s really that the fox is a cheap bastard.
McPerson
June 9th, 2008 at 7:02 am [Reply]

I would be more concerned about that unidentified bone at Shady Shrew’s feet, rather than whether he/she/it is a nut-grabber.
Gojira
June 9th, 2008 at 7:20 am [Reply]

Think I’ve found the opposite of this blog. Apparently, Albany Times-Union readers find Hagar hilarious and Lio loathsome. Someone even disses PBS. Tempted to write in, but those are reactions to a recent change in the print edition and I don’t live in Albany.
Lockestep
June 9th, 2008 at 7:22 am [Reply]

Spideybrick: I think Rehab is a bit too modern for the likes of H&J. The popular music player everyone owns would have a playlist of:

Ain’t No Natural Elevation of the Earth’s Surface Rising More or less Abruptly to a Summit High Enough

I Perceived It By the Ear Through the Plant Having a Long, Slender Stem with Edible, Pulpy, Smooth-skinned Berry or Fruit that Grows in Clusters

And of course, the Immortal:

Male Parent Was A Moving By Turning Over and Over Small Piece of Rock
Jimmy
June 9th, 2008 at 7:29 am [Reply]

“I hate time.” That blew me away; I hate time, too; I just said so last week. I have done my best to erase time from my life. That’s easy when you’re a salary worker!
Wisconsinite
June 9th, 2008 at 7:53 am [Reply]

FC: WTF? Seriously, WTF?
Ed Power, Cage Writer
June 9th, 2008 at 8:02 am [Reply]

From Yesterthread:

Spider-Brick

without her, we’d have to look at characters like Polopony Horse.

LOL! Very true. Mel did one pic of Polopony. I’ll have to see if she still has it for the blog.

indrifan

Didn’t get to Mocca sadly. :( either did Melissa.

How was it?

Mibbitmaker

MC: Wow, that was fast, Ed!

Fast? We still have a week worth of wake-filled wackiness to wade through!

Later!
Ed Power, Cage Writer
June 9th, 2008 at 8:04 am [Reply]

Opps Indrifan,

Didn’t bold you. Sorry.
Incredulous Disbelief
June 9th, 2008 at 8:17 am [Reply]

Foob: Isn’t Liz picking April up from her visit with Grandpa? She can’t be bothered to take two minutes to go in and see how Grandpa’s doing?
anthom
June 9th, 2008 at 8:21 am [Reply]

Does anyone else see the references to “Shady” and mentally place the word “Slim” in front of it? It adds a whole new dimension to the panel when Eminem is the nut-nabber.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 9th, 2008 at 8:30 am [Reply]

anthom @ 96: For your listening and dancing pleasure, from the archives, I present The Real Shady Shrew.
smacky
June 9th, 2008 at 8:53 am [Reply]

FC: Even God just said, “Seriously, Dolly? SERIOUSLY?!?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 9th, 2008 at 9:25 am [Reply]

9DQ: Guess we know who wears the skirts in this strip… up… everyone, apparently. Shouldn’t there be couch visible between the boys’ knees? Or did we intrude on a particularly pensive Dress-Up Night?

A3G: “But you said Jones cut you off! Where else could you possibly procure drugs in New York City?”

Blondie: Meet Tracy, Blondie’s newest recruit into the Ginormous Torpedo-Shaped Mammaries Club (founding member: Mamie Van Doren (link SFW)). We should not be able to see side boob at the angle she’s standing in Panel 1 unless those things stick out about 8 inches.

(WT)DT: “Blast it! In our discussion of high-tech bank security measures, Tracy never mentioned they had flying machines!”

FC: Holy crap. If those are knees I see peeking out under those mini-rompers, Dolly and her diminutive friend must have thighbones shorter than they are wide.

JP: OHMIGOD! NO! DON’T TELL ME SAM’S STILL WORKING IN THE STUDY!!!11 HOW WILL I EVER HANDLE THE EXCITEMENT!!!!11ONE

Lockhorns: “I stop drinking by 9, or she says she’ll put a bullet in my brainpan.”

MT: And the Best Pair of Tits on the Comics Page Award for today goes to… Jack Elrod for Panel 2 of Mark Trail!

Big Dog: I was going to make a joke about post-coital snuggling, but a second look made me realize that Marmaduke has crushed his owner’s skull in his massive jaws and is merely sleeping that way to protect his kill from scavengers.

MW: I can’t help but read Ron’s first line in this strip ironically.

MC: When Ed Power, Writer of My Cage wrote…

Since we divorced Jeff at the end of our first year, and am killing off another character in the beginning of our second…

…I should have realized that “the end of our first year” and “the beginning of our second” came one right after another. Though I didn’t want to see a major character die, I kind of think it might have been better had we seen him a few more times before he kicked it. I can’t even remember what animal he was.

OBH: Ruthie catches Miss Lonnette giving the pool boy “one big happy.”
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 9th, 2008 at 9:27 am [Reply]

Awww, Margo it all. Preview, moron, preview. Sorry about that, folks. I meant to hit Preview, I just picked the wrong button…
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
June 9th, 2008 at 9:31 am [Reply]

I’ve only been reading Brenda Starr for a couple of weeks now, but I just want to say that Sage is one of the most adorable comics characters ever. He is just too cute.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 9th, 2008 at 9:37 am [Reply]

Anyway, Spider-Man snark, filed separately due to length…

S-M: Spider-Man, Spider-Man, how do I disbelieve thee? Let me count the ways:
1) Since 9/11, it’s been illegal to fly most helicopters over the city of New York. No way would a jewelry courier service qualify.
2) No helicopter at all would be allowed to fly low enough between buildings that Spidey would be able to swing up to them.
3) No sane helicopter pilot would fly that low between buildings even if it were allowed.
4) Especially if they were carrying valuable cargo in a city jam-packed with flying villains…
5) …especially one whose escape from prison has apparently been the only thing on TV since it happened. (Well, other than Maria Lopez failing to interview Spider-Man. Hey, since Spidey didn’t show up, does that mean she defeated him?)
6) How much sense does it make to courier diamonds in a helicopter, anyway?
7) The Vulture flies by a gravity belt that neutralizes his weight. His only form of propulsion is his strap-on wings. And we’re supposed to believe that the helicopter crew is actually afraid he can make them crash? Vulture’s got all the momentum of a guy rolling around in his office chair.
8) Not to mention, couldn’t they just, you know, fly away faster than him?
9) …Or descend quickly and suck the lumbering buzzard into their rotors? As we know from Dick Tracy, this kind of thing always results in a controlled descent which everyone on board survives.
AtomicDog
June 9th, 2008 at 9:38 am [Reply]

Wizard of Id – Oh, he does circumcisions, too, eh?
dimestore lipstick
June 9th, 2008 at 9:44 am [Reply]

Kiesha @ 85–
Is that a Back to the Future reference in there?
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 9th, 2008 at 9:47 am [Reply]

6/9

A3G: Yeah, “so sweet” is maybe not the phrase a dealer wnats out there on the street.

JP: The fun thing about panel two–beyond the obvious–is Abbey’s “you betcha” lapse into Fargospeak. I look forward to finding out that the fella who approached Biff and Elvira about pot-growing was funny looking. You know, funny looking.

RMMD: “My problem with the cops? Let’s just say us White Aryan’s are often misunderstood.”

DT: I thought you could only say “twerps” on those edgy cable shows.

Marvin: Poor Clare is still aiming low and missing. I hope she can break the cycle.

S-M: “A bird in a gilded cage”? Oh dear, influenza has adversely affected Spidey’s joke-telling.

Lockhorns: Yes! Liquor+Guns=Fun for All

OBH: The obvious questions are “What’s a hey y’all outfit?” and “Is Miss Lonnette worth seeing while wearing one?” Stay on this, Detorie.

Big Dog: What would that one thing be? Do we want to know?

FB: “It’s ironic, you see, because he’s quite small. Did all of you pick up on that?”

FC: “Yeah, mom? This orange-haired chick you left me with is a real freak. You gotta come pick me up.”
God
June 9th, 2008 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Stop calling me Dolly.

It is over.

Really.

We are just friends now.
louder
June 9th, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

FOOB: Oh liz, don’t worry, no matter what date you set for that fiasco called a wedding, Gramps will kick it the day before — you see, that’s called drama. Boxcar!
Shermy Glamrocker
June 9th, 2008 at 10:07 am [Reply]

I’ve seen this Slylock Fox before, except in early1960s schlocky movie form.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052969/
Mike
June 9th, 2008 at 10:09 am [Reply]

There is no possible way Skylock can pedal his bike with those giant fee but I bet Casandra benefits from them. You know what they say: Big socks means big Fox… or something like that.
fed up to HERE!
June 9th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

#95 – you’d think with her life philosophy of not rushing into anything and taking one goddam day at a time, she could haul herself up to the old folks apartment. Sure, you plan a quick 10 minute visit to old people and you get stuck there for an hour or more, and you’re asked to change lightbulbs, put up the kitchen curtains, and reach under the bed for that other slipper….but what else does Liz have to do? Go sit by her dullard fiancee and finish up one more endless day together?

(I am inserting a scream of frustration here.)

GAHHHH!!!! If I read the words ‘taking things slowly one day at a time’ from her ONE MORE GODDAM TIME, I seriously would join a lynch mob if one was formed and heading up to Canada.

And that wistful, thoughtful look on her face, and her big fat lips makea me want to beat her head in with a 2 x 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!
McManx
June 9th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

FC — Oops. Looks like a mask from “Eyes Wide Shut”. Perhaps Jeffy has uncovered Daddy and Mommy’s toys from their unspeakable sex club. Maybe in the next installment, we’ll see Jeffy has trussed up his sister in handcuffs and a ball-gag.

SFox — Haven’t Slylock’s feet grown to enormous propotions? No wonder he’s riding a bike. He’s probably unable to walk more than a few feet at a time with those flippers.
blammers66
June 9th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

April, when will you learn? Liz doesn’t have to hurry her wedding plans at all. She has already planned to have a chair at the wedding for the urn containing Grampa Jim’s remains. It will be right next to Iris, so we can see her looking mournfully at the urn, tears in her hopeless, defeated eyes … and Liz will look stuning in her Vera Wang knock-off gown, and you’ll look horrendous in the gown you’ll be forced to wear because she is getting back at the other bridesmades who forced her to wear hideous gouwns at their weddings, and you’re just a pawn in her much bigger game of “Me, Me, ME!” So, do you understand April? All is well!
TheDiva
June 9th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

FC: Actually, prayer is very much like a cell phone, in that people who use them loudly in public are more pretentious and annoying than anything else.

FOOB: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgh. Liz, shut the fuck up. You’re engaged. You’ve announced it to your family, you have a ring, a dress, and bridesmaids. You don’t get much more engaged than that. Setting a God-damned date isn’t going to change anything, whether it’s two months or two years from now. Unless of course you’re actually having second thoughts about marrying The Load, in which case a) you shouldn’t have gotten engaged in the first place and b) you have a lot more sense than I gave you credit for.

FW: Oh, I get it! Funky has let success go to his head and is neglecting his family! It’s been played out so subtly I was hardly aware of it.
Professor Fate
June 9th, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

FOOB: Liz hurry and end your chance at a real life (marry Athony – the walking death – Caine) before your grandfather dies.

Actually knowing Lynn’s ham handed story telling I expect Grandpa to keel over at the wedding reception – where Ellys’ angished cry of ‘he didn’t eat his prime rib – Again” will echo in the silence.

And they the DJ will start the electric slide to try and get the party back up.

FW: If it wasn’t the funkverise I suspect that Funky is doing a bit more than sampling the franschise wares.
Little Guy
June 9th, 2008 at 10:26 am [Reply]

My Cage: I wanna see an Earth-133 version of PBS. BTW, at least you didn’t impact Lenny’s death on any nuptuals.

GA: Kitty on one arm, kitty on another. Same pose with Rufus’ girlfriend, who always had one strap off the shoulder. Rufus himself has the same problem with ascending and descending testicles.
Calico
June 9th, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

Wow, these Sun.-Mon. comics and Josh’s comments are leaving me with a sense of phenominological angst, if such a thing is possible.

MT – I never knew Chickadees could fart text balloons. Or that they could fart at all, for that matter.
britbike
June 9th, 2008 at 10:59 am [Reply]

FOOB: I’m still trying to figure out why Liz, who apparently parked in front of Grampa’s home long enough to pick up her sister, didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t go in to say hello! WTF?? “Seriously.” Everyone thinks she wants the poor old guy at her wedding, which will be physically very difficult for him to do even if it was tomorrow, and she can’t be bothered to walk a few feet and maybe ride an elevator to say hello??? This Pisses Me Off.
gkl
June 9th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

Pluggers: So… Pluggers get bitchslapped… A lot.
Phred22
June 9th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

Why does Slylock think Shady Shrew is lying?

Because Count Wierdly, Slick Smitty, Harry Ape and Cassandra Cat aren’t around.

None of these characters is ever innocent.
Jamus The Bartender
June 9th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

12/anon: Golf distracts the husband from Jesus and diverts him from his husbandly duties. Whatever those may be.
That’s why.
Jamus The Bartender
June 9th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

32.”Obviously, Slylock Fox has finally run out of petty, meaningless misdemeanors to jump on, and has taken to paying actors to portray his earlier cases. All for the sake of keeping up appearances, because Cassandra Cat only likes a man with a fast life.”

Oh, that ain’t no shit Snicker, lemme tell ya….
CanuckDownSouth
June 9th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

#12 (Sunday Phantom): more information about diamondiferous kimberlite alluvial gravel can be found on the internet.
Paul1963
June 9th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Just for fun, Ugly Hill on cartoonists and golf:
http://www.uglyhill.com/d/20070703.html
Jamus The Bartender
June 9th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

FOOB: Okay, i’m gonna bypass all of the arguments of why Liz and Anthony shouldn’t get married in general as they’ve all been gone over ad infinitum here and elsewhere and just scold April here a little.
Sweetie. Hon. You just might be the smartest of the FOOB family here, so i’m gonna tell ya. Dangling a dying relative in front of the bride to be is NOT a good reason to force a wedding date. All it does is bring an atmosphere of sadness to what’s supposed to be the happiest day in a woman’s life. Having said that , it’s gonna be hard for Liz to reflect on that in future as Anthony’s gonna spend most of his time ogling the waiters at the reception….
Old School Allie Cat
June 9th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

A3G – Oh, Alan – when will you learn? Never dip your pipe into the company dope stash!Haley doesn’t like you for business, she likes you for pleasure.

Hope you enjoy the feeling of Margo’s naked, ringless fingers wrapped tightly around your windpipe.

Luann – You know when I was Luann’s age, I had a j-o-b. I spent my day off chilling at the bookstore, getting an ice cream cone, meeting up with friends. I felt pretty good about it. Also, when I was Luann’s age, she was my age. I’m 33, and she’s stayed stuck at 16 for 16 years. I have a mortgage, aging parents and aphids on my tomato plants. I think the least she could do is get off her ass and go pick up some litter. Whore.

FOOB – I can’t articulate my anger at today’s strip any better than has been done above. I hope the coffee talkers skin her alive on this one.
Dr. Mabuse
June 9th, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

FBOFW – Today’s strip bugs me in every possible way, and others have already outlined the outrages. Elizabeth picks up April and doesn’t even go in to say hi to her grandpa herself – what did she do, sit in the car in front of the building and honk the horn until her sister came out? That is SO rude, and then we get the Droopy Lips of Concern as she hears April’s report – if she was really that interested, she’d have gone in and seen how he was doing herself!

Then there’s the never-ending “I don’t want to rush into things” crap. What the hell is this? I thought she had firmly decided a few weeks ago that it’s really, really, really REALLY true love at last, right after she’d run off Warren, the last pretender to her affections. So what’s to wait for? Does she still need time to talk herself into going through with it? Is she waiting to see if something better turns up? Does she want a few more wild flings as a single girl? The typical reason for having to wait is finances, and no one has ever yet suggested that that is a problem, so I don’t get it.

Oh, and credit where credit is due: in the Sunday strip, Michael and Dee take Grandpa for a trip to the park, without Iris, thus giving a weary caregiver some time off. That’s a generous thing for anyone to do, and I half suspect that LJ didn’t even think of that aspect, because there was no opening strip of Iris waving them goodbye and settling in for a few hours of relaxation. It’s hard to believe she wouldn’t have highlighted Michael’s saintliness if she’d realized it. Nevertheless, it should be noted, and it makes Elizabeth’s self-centredness today even more shocking.
commodorejohn
June 9th, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

A3G – There goes that rotten Haley trying to seduce innocent, naive Alan again.

Archie – Bad, but not nearly as appalling as, say, today’s Argyle Sweater.

AS – ARGH.

FC – “I get His answering machine instead. Guy never actually picks up the phone.”

FOOB – Wow. Just looking at Liz’s bleak, hopeless expression says a lot about her whole relationship with Anthony. Specifically, that maybe she realizes the whole thing is a sham manufactured by her domineering, scheming mother as part of her continual puppeteering of the people around her. Run, Liz. Run.

GA – Are we entirely sure Kitty is actually alive?

JP – Somehow, the phrase “you betcha!” manages to move Abbey from pure hot to a little cute thrown in the mix. I approve.

Luann – If this strip consisted of nothing but Delta failing at trying to goad Luann and Bernice into volunteering, it would be among my favorite comics. Sadly, there’s all that other crap weighing it down.

MF – DEAR BRUCE TINSLEY: COFFEE SHOPS HAVE NOT BEEN UNCOMMON OR HIGHBROW IN WELL OVER TEN YEARS. THEY ARE IN FACT FOUND IN MANY SMALL TOWNS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY NOW. PLEASE STOP USING THIS JOKE. P.S. THAT IS NOT HOW QUOTATION MARKS ARE MEANT TO BE USED.

MT – Wow. I’ve been reading Mark Trail long enough to where seeing Mark and Cherry suddenly turn into chickadees seems completely normal.

Marmaduke – AHH BRAIN BLEACH PLEASE

MW – “It must have been something good. I mean, how else could a mere mortal like you deserve my wonderfulness?”

MC – Ooh, plot turn. Where will this take us, I wonder?

Momma – In light of this previous Momma strip, the fact that Sonja is sticking to the “stork” bit when her children are all grown is pretty disturbing.

OBH – I do so love this strip.

RMMD – If the stockers I worked with were any indication, the reason he’s nervous about cops is that he’s got a blunt or two hidden on the overstock rack.

SFx – Because Slylock, like his Shakespearean namesake, is stingy. That’s why.
Mibbitmaker
June 9th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

Zits: Bing Crosby prepares to sing a pretty love song, but as his mouth opens to sing the 1st note, the sound of Gene Krupa’s drumming comes out instead.

FC: …At least that’s what He tells her. Keeps from actually having to listen to the pious little brat! Hey, they don’t give that job to dummies.

RwO:
Bob: “…However, potatoes do agree with me.”
Potato: “That’s what I believe happened.”

Nancy: Forget her, Sluggo. The minute she sees you having fun with Nancy, Carrie’ll just bash in your truck. (Of course, if Nancy thinks you’re cheating on her, she’ll give you a Karate chop. Either way, you’re screwed, man!)

Cranky: That guy’s been making so many belabored malapropisms these days, he can’t even get out a proper sentence anymore. Sad.
OverCat
June 9th, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

FC, the next panel:

Dolly: “Um, God? Could you help me get this cell phone out of my butt?”
Mumbles
June 9th, 2008 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

JP: Like the Spectaclar Spider-Brick, I too am enthralled by the omniscient narrator’s excitement that Sam is still working in the study!!!! Of course the bottle of wine on his desk could explain what’s taking him so long.

FOOB: the casual way the girls are talking about “Gramps”’s failing health is almost Winkerbeanian. But I am comforted that he did get to see “Blood Cargo.”

MW: Ron: “Oh Mary, you’re too funny.”. Mary: “No, seriously, you must have done something good. Ask Aldo Kelrast what happens to people who don’t do good.”
JohnnyB
June 9th, 2008 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

The Eskimos’ words for snow number over 100; in order to compensate, they have no numbers for numbers under 30,000.

Since Grizzlies in Alaska are brown and refuse to learn English, they are counted as only one one-hundredth of a bear.
JohnnyB
June 9th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Roz, out there somewhere is a rat with no ass, because I don’t give one about your whining.

(Also, watch out for that towel rack creeping up behind you.)
Spike
June 9th, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

FW: Funky’s former secretary is now scanning the help-wanted ads.

MW: What’s up with Ron? He’s allows Mary into his vacant life for a few days and they’re “friends” already??? And since Ron is grateful for Mary’s help, are we to assume that his late mother, Donna, previously occupied the coveted seat on the city’s town council? Did Mary kill Donna offstage [Sorry, TF.] to advance her new boy-toy?
queek
June 9th, 2008 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

F-: yup, its been about two weeks. I lol’d.

PBS: saw the win coming.

MG&G: o yes! Great comics refs today.

GF: *gigglesnort* well done!

MT: I can’t believe the unspeakable filth in today’s strip, as Mark tries to talk Cherry out of yet another “slumber party with benefits” with Kelly. Sadly, this is Mark Trail, not Twincest.
KH
June 9th, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

San Diego Union Tribune – special phone number to vote for comics change. Vote until Thursday 619-293-2500. You can email comments to comics@uniontrib.com.

Eliminate
1. Judge Parker;
2. Wizard of Id; or
3. Cathy

Making room to put Doonesbury on the comics page when it comes back.

Save Abby and Sophie!!
Calico
June 9th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

#126 – Liz is the consummate Rubber Band Girl.

(Apologies to Kate Bush)

#129 – OMG
!
Calico
June 9th, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

#116 – Dammit, I meant Phenomenological.

Skool Daze…
dale
June 9th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Foob
Maybe Liz didn’t go in because Grandpa Jim can’t stand her.
She wants him at her wedding just to mock him.
Baka Gaijin
June 9th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

#24 Dingo: I await your website’s return with bated breath. I’ve been needing to slap Drew, man, really needing to “Be a Dapper Slapper!” Or is that baited breath? Damn, I should have had an Altoids after tht sushi.
cheech wizard
June 9th, 2008 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

23/ Ah Clem: I believe the correct term is “beer wench.”
Dr. Mabuse
June 9th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

FBOFW – I think I’ve figured Liz out. She’s stalling the wedding, because she wants Grampa to die first. Then, in true Victorian fashion, she can insist that a year’s mourning is necessary before she’ll even consider setting a date.
cheech wizard
June 9th, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

FOOB – Liz is distressed, because she needs another memorial candle to visually balance the one for Grandmother Marion. That April just has no sense of design.
Cedar
June 9th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

I’ve been reading Gil Thorp for awhile, but I’m confused by today’s strip. How did a congresswoman help Stormy?
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
June 9th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

#69, #70 Poteet:

Sorry, should have made clear that I was talking about MW, and it’s Mary, repeat Mary, who would have been the third in the threesome. Dear God.

Your accidents are so much better than many of my on purposes.
Bet you didn’t know that I speak “Family Circus” with hardly any accent!
Perky Bird
June 9th, 2008 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

# 143 Cedar– Judging by the drawing in the second panel, she either:

A) Got him a spot in a military academy, such as West Point

B) Got him a job as the captain on a cheesey Love-Boat-type cruise ship

C) Got him a gig as “Kaptain Kaboom, the Human Cannonball”, and we see him preparing for his first day at work.
gnome de blog
June 9th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

#10, O. Doorhinge
Around here, “revitalize” means reduce the number of parking spaces, divert street maintenance money to “special projects,” impose stringent land-use regulations to discourage private investment, and wring your hands because the schools are failing due to a declining tax base. But we have plenty of bicycle paths and open spaces. Lots of places to play, but not too many places to work – unless you’re an urban planner or a barista.
French Rage
June 9th, 2008 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

I mostly lurk here, but today’s FOOB made me respond. If Liz card so much, it would take her 10 seconds to freaking go inside and actually see freaking grandpa. I guess it could be worse, it could be like when Mike visited after his first book was published and got offended when grandpa started saying nonsense, because it’s not like the guy had a freaking stroke or anything that messed up his speech abilities. It’s also touching that her main concern is that he be at her wedding, no matter what shape or physical hell he is going through.
Daily Comics Reviewer
June 9th, 2008 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail knows his biology but hits a brick wall when it comes to arithmetic. And don’t blame yourself for not being able to focus, the Sundays kept me bored as hell this weekend on my blog too.
Ichi
June 9th, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

The Phantom’s Wrench Guy can increase the dramatic tension of any comic.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
June 9th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

Hey all,
Non-comics related request for info…
I’m considering traveling cross country via Amtrak this summer. My experiences on Amtrak have been very positive, but it’s been many, many years, so I don’t know if it’s still comfy, clean and fun.

Anyone have some survival strategies for such a long train trip? Is it saner to just book a flight? I appreciate your input. My e-mail is Spofforth_Horse@comcast.net. Thanks!
gnome de blog
June 9th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

#12, anonomous [sic]
Technically, I’m perfectly willing to overlook the fact that Brenda stayed 23 for about 50 years and that now she’s 40ish. And as far as I’m concerned, she’s way better off without Basil the mystery man to cramp her style. I do hope that her daughter Starr Twinkly shows up on the road to Kazookistan, though. And then fades back into the soup.

God bless Dale Messick, but Smich and Bridgman have improved on the original.
essteess
June 9th, 2008 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Not to cast myself as a defender of Liz (and by extension LJ) here, but there is one possible, plausible explanation. It might be, because of Grandpa Jim’s fragile state, the care facility asked that any visits — even from family members — be arranged in advance, with no “drop-ins.” So perhaps Liz et al aren’t supposed to just pop up for a quick “Hello, how-ya-doing.”
Now, even with this rationale, one could certainly ask, “So why couldn’t Liz have made an appointment to come even for the last half-hour of April’s visit?” I leave it my brethren (and sistren) here to speculate.
J
June 9th, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

Maybe Slim Shady Shrew likes to eat peanut shells. They’re good roughage. Shylock seems to hold a carnivore’s bias.
mere cog in the machine
June 9th, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

#54: Which is quite appropriate, considering that reading Family Circus is about as much fun as an over-the-pants handjob.
Poteet
June 9th, 2008 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

# 144 — Spotted H0rse, thank you kindly! I hope you’ll get excellent Amtrak tips. There is such a thing as the Amtrak Customer Advisory Committee, but dunno if it would be any help.
GotFuzzy
June 9th, 2008 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

essteess, I don’t think Jim and Iris are in any type of assisted-living facility. They do have visiting nurses and physical therapists drop in from time to time, but I don’t think family visits are regulated by anyone. Nope, I think Liz has not bothered to visit Grandpa since Dee and Mike shoved her into the moldering wedding dress and hauled her over there, and now she’ll be talked into setting a wedding date by April, after having been pushed into Blandthony’s arms by Elly and John. Spinelessness, thy name is Lizardbreath!

On an unrelated topic, FC is beyond strange today. I hesitate to heap too much abuse on it, because if it was submitted two weeks ago, it would have been created when the real-life Thel was slipping away. If it was in the pipeline well before that happened, though, there’s no excuse for that bat-shit insanity.
Wolf Shepherd
June 9th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Monday comments:

Agnes – Taking a cue from H&J, Agnes wants a “high-tech gaming system.”

DT – “Twerps?” Non, no, no, you mean “perps.” Come on, you gotta watch more TV.

F Minus – funny

H&J – Pot, meet Kettle.

Luann – Define “going.” (By the way, how did we get back on this do-gooder story arc? Did Brad and Toni do the nasty? Inquiring minds want to know!)

OBH – “Hey Y’all outfit?” Lemme see, lemme see! (Seriously, I have never heard that phrase before. Would it be funnier if I knew what it meant?)

Marvin – Don’t complain about receiving female attention. Take what you can get. Bone her and then send her on her way.

RMMD – Who is the dumbest character in this strip? Jimmy: “Are you sure you’re not a cop?” Rex: “Yes.”
mere cog in the machine
June 9th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

If it were in my power to control Lynn Johnston’s brain like a modern-day conqueror worm, you’d soon be seeing storylines involving April and a certain Polish, expatriate film director. Just take half, April; they’re great with champagne!
Perky Bird
June 9th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

So Dolly can get right through to God, every time? Hmm, that’s funny. I assumed God would have caller ID by now.
cheech wizard
June 9th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

GotFuzzy – Actually, talking to God and having a line to Him that’s always open are fairly conventional notions of mainstream Christianity – I can readily imagine that Dolly might have picked up the “no busy signal” line at Sunday school.

Now, God speaking audibly to Dolly would be a different matter. In which case I’d urge the Keanes to lock up the sharp knives and pay close attention to any disturbing themes in her refrigerator art, such as Barfy wearing a bejeweled crown and sitting upon a golden throne.
cheech wizard
June 9th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

SF – If Hil’s goth friend had only applied herself during the school year, she could have dug a tunnel during her lunch hours with a spoon and wouldn’t have to worry about hall monitors.
mere cog in the machine
June 9th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

160: Heehee! You said “bejeweled”!
Doug Puthoff
June 9th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Alt FC 6-9 caption: …and he just told me to kill Jeffy.
bats :[
June 9th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

110. fed up to HERE!: I agree with you. I think the best “out” for LJ would’ve had Grandpa to go quietly with April and Iris beside him, the two who really seem to care the most about him. Tough titties to Liz who can’t get out of the car. This can be one of those all-important “learning experiences,” that Liz can beat her breast over with Elly as they suck down butter tarts at the wake.

149. Ichi: oh, geez…poetry in simplicity! That’s wonderful!

FC: Awww, that Dolly’s a charmer. Rude, but a charmer!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2564871199/
cheech wizard
June 9th, 2008 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

Perhaps for its final months, FOOB should change its name to Le Morte de Jim. Or For Weddings and a Funeral. Or The Unbearable Triteness of Being. Or Sour Milk from an Old Cow. Or..
AhClem
June 9th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

#165 cheech wizard -
I’ve been saying for years that “For Better or For Worse” should shorten its name to something more appropriate to its content, i.e. simply “Worse.”

But I really like your #4.
gnome de blog
June 9th, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

164 bats:[ said:
“I think the best ‘out’ for LJ would’ve had Grandpa to go quietly with April and Iris beside him…”

…followed by a week of Elly and Elizabeth bitching about not having the chance to say goodbye.

I have to compliment Lynn. It takes a lot of courage for an author to make her alter-ego characters so thoroughly despicable.
cheech wizard
June 9th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

Thanks, AhClem. How’s Barney, btw? Did they ever fix the President?
Kiesha
June 9th, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

It was, in fact, a Back to the Future reference. Anthony IS Liz’s density.
Darkefang
June 9th, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

A3G: This is the second or third time we’ve seen Alan’s “dope” and it’s always a white stick. I’m beginning to think that these two dopes have heard about people sniffing glue, and have been trying to get high off the fumes from the paraffin sticks used in hot glue guns.

BB: Apparently, Sarge is some kind of reverse Incredible Hulk. Normally he’s taller than Beetle, but now that he’s angry, he’s shrunk by a couple feet.

Curtis: Drawing a character in a knee-slapping guffaw in the final panel doesn’t help a lame joke seem any funnier. Nice try, though.

Foob: Classy. Blame the dying old man for Liz’s poor marital decisions.

Luann: If the idea was to develop three characters that I’d never want to have anything to do with in real life, then mission accomplished!

MT: Hmmm… a woman named Cherry is going to take care of another woman while being filmed, while Mark is going to have fun alone in the woods with a young boy named Rusty…

Wow, today’s Mark Trail is really bulletproof from our snark. I just can’t come up with any facetious commentary or sexual innuendo from today’s dialogue.

MW: Judging from the brown globs of goo on the plates, Mary must be the head chef at La Rosa.

RMMD: Rex wouldn’t normally have ever caught Jimmy, but luckily, he’s got a lot of experience chasing young bo…

Did you ever get that feeling like you’ve typed a smartassed comment before? Or almost every day for over a year?
essteess
June 9th, 2008 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Bats 164–Highlighted for deliberate provocation-

“Tough TITTIES to Liz who can’t get out of the car. This can be one of those all-important “learning experiences,” that Liz can beat her BREAST over with Elly as they suck down butter TARTS at the wake.”

I am projecting either Sigmund Freud or Beavis/Butthead. Take your pick.
essteess
June 9th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

168 Cheech Wizard-
“Thanks, AhClem. How’s Barney, btw? Did they ever fix the President?”

They just had to plug in the female. I heard that now he’s living in a little (*hwuck*) Phlegmish village.
Baka Gaijin
June 9th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

#69 Poteet: Get out the brain bleach. No, Clorox doesn’t make a product strong enough to get THAT image out of my mind. Life is no longer worth living. Thanks, Poteet!

By the way, is it just a coincidence you had a pervy sexual comment for comment 69?
Tess
June 10th, 2008 at 12:13 am [Reply]

Personally, I was imagining one of Roz’s illegitimate deformed crow children.
Taospark
June 10th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

For those who were curious, the total Grizzly population in North America is somewhere around 60,000 with about 15,000 of them in Canada. The strip’s figure for grizzly bears in Alaska is actually the most accurate out the three numbers, heh.

There also used to be a Mexican grizzly bear population, which would have been awesome to see.
Paul1963
June 10th, 2008 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

#127 commodorejohn–Yes, we are sure Kitty is actually alive. Sometime in the last couple of years, Rufus invited a stray cat in out of the rain and demonstrated his complete ignorance of what cats are like by 1) feeding the strange cat from Kitty’s bowl, 2) allowing the strange cat to sleep where Kitty normally sleeps, and 3) scolding Kitty for reacting to these intrusions as any alpha cat normally would.
There was fighting.
On the mule’s back.
Seriously.

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