Main content:

Here come the foobs

For Better Or For Worse, 7/11/08

You know what it’s been way, way too long since we last did? A little bit of What They Say And What They Mean!

What he says What he means
“Hi Dr. P! How’s it going?” I have a penis!
“Fine, Anthonty!” I have a penis too!
“Is Liz around?” Did I mention that I have a penis?
“She’s in the house. They’re going full-tilt on the wedding plans, so I wouldn’t go in there if I were you.” I have a penis. That’s why I’m outside!
“Is there a problem”? Is there a problem that can be solved specifically by my penis?
“It’s a wedding! There’s always a problem! Something’s not right here, a dress doesn’t fit there, people haven’t responded, the caterer’s out of town…” Ha ha, because we have penises, all these words I’m saying to you are just meaningless babble to us! We’re obviously incapable of making phone calls, maintaining a spreadsheet, contacting vendors, writing notes, or doing any number of totally non-penis-related tasks! All the things they’re doing in there — those are things only someone with a vagina is physically capable of doing!
“Maybe we should just elope.” I have a penis!
“What? And spoil all the fun?!!” I have a penis too!

Apartment 3-G, 7/11/08

Jack may sound concerned about the possibility that riff-raff might be pillaging the Mills Gallery, but his facial expression in panel three conveys to me a certain growing sadistic glee. I predict that a certain trio of crackheads are about to be on the receiving end of a savage and righteous keying. Perhaps Jack’s inner vigilante has been frustrated for years by modern New York’s low crime rates, or, more likely, he may realize that an act of shocking violence is the quickest way into Margo’s affections.

Mark Trail, 7/11/08

One look at that second panel will show you why Kelly Welly is considered the sex symbol in this strip. Oh yeah, baby, roll that right eye a little further towards the side of your head while staring straight ahead with the left. Mmm-hmm, that’s the stuff.

Pearls Before Swine, 7/11/08

Oh, Mr. Pastis, I ignored you when you taunted Lynn Johnston. I ignored you when you tried to kill Jeffy. But Masky McDeath? Oh, well played, sir.

Gil Thorp, 7/11/08

More proof that illegal immigrants do the sort of dirty cleanup work that Americans won’t! Steve Rosen probably refused to drive in the winning run unless he got dental insurance and overtime pay. You wouldn’t have gotten that kind of lip from Elmer.

Ziggy, 7/11/08

Ha ha, Ziggy’s killed his only friend with off-brand dog food!

269 responses to “Here come the foobs”

  1. Jim Thorp(e)
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    They don’t play nine innings in Milford?

    Wimps.

  2. odinthor
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    GT — It’s an indication of why we’re always all at sea with Gil Thorp when we look at the dudes in panel 3 and can’t see much difference between their fore and their aft.

  3. Hogenmogen
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Predictability, thy name is Rex. Yawn. The cops came, they’ll see the obvious, that Max Mallory will go down in the annals of history as the 235,786th most annoying lawyer in the world (really, it’s not small feat to break that quarter millionth mark when you’re talking about lawyers). Max’s career is ruined, the police force him at gunpoint to spray Clorox on the wrestling mats himself. He whines all the while that his wife should really be the one taking care of it. His wife leaves him for another woman, who promises to let her do nothing but wear impeccable business suits in an impossibly sterile kitchen. Max’s son and his band rename themselves “Mrs. A”, get a hit on YouTube, have the most illegally downloaded song of the year, and fail to get a penny out of it because they were screwed over by the recording industry’s lawyers, ranked #234,568th through 234,534th – and the fact that you don’t make any money from YouTube or an illegal download. Nevertheless, June Morgan gets her happy ending – except for the dead kid and his family. And Max’s family. And the one billion dead MRSAs.

    Anyway, the problem is now solved without any direct action from Rex. The strip will heretofore be renamed Rex Morgan, Indirect Associate with Those That Do Great Things.

    I don’t suppose that anyone got that the previously competent Vulture is empty handed. For starters, he missed the opportunity to steal two bags of cash, then he lost the one that he had. And for even less competence, Peter Parker is in bed with MRSA for 71 days and counting.

  4. Hogenmogen
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    I laughed a long and hearty laugh at Kelly Welly –
    “You’ve got to take risks in this business. Roger, go do something dangerous for me.”

  5. Formally known as Major Hoople
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Pastis is just late getting his contribution in to this site: http://www.yo-god.com/comics/www.chron.com-death.htm

  6. Hogenmogen
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    See, it’s funny because Roger’s future descendents will wear red shirts on the starship Enterprise.

  7. man behind the curtain
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    RMMD — I guess Max can now represent the MRSA families as the sue Max and of course he can defend himself. Could make for an interesting trial.

  8. Justafoob
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    John and Granthony have penis’s?

    Sure.

    They are in a jar.

    John’s is gathering dust down in the basement next to his choo-choos and Granthony’s is on Thérèse’s mantle.

  9. Rowboat
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    I think part of Ziggy’s dog food problem is that that is clearly a koala. Those guys don’t exactly go for beef-byproduct-flavoured gravel, or indeed anything that isn’t eucalyptus leaves.

  10. shandyowl
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    A3G I suppose Jack’s train of thought must go something like “I was going to get a hobo to blow me in exchange for a quart of scotch but how can I resist the siren call of three lowlifes in an alley?

    MT One of Kelly’s eyes is going for chocolate and the other is coming back with the change

  11. lorne
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…
    A Møøse once bit my sister…
    No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law – an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”…

  12. Jim
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    PBS: Am I the only one wondering how Rat managed to get into Heaven?

  13. plusaconstant
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    “Hey – what was that?! It looked like three guys crouching in the alley!” I just wanted to repeat that line because it’s hilarious. Made my day.

  14. Sue D. Nymme
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    I don’t get the penis-infused dialog. Funny?

  15. Captain Howdy
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    FW: Orange Crush. There. Took all of two seconds, Bull.

  16. lorne
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    I apologise for the gratuitous Monty Python cutting and pasting in the comments section. Those responsible for this comment have been sacked. I will now attempt relevant orignal commentary on today’s episode of Mark Trail.

    Møøse trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA
    Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT
    Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL
    Møøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III
    Miss Taylor’s Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME
    Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG
    Møøses’ noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER
    Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and “O” Level Geography by BO BENN
    Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER
    Antler-care by LIV THATCHER

  17. poppinjay
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Stephen Pastis is the hero of Fridayland.

    Next I hope Rat tells that Lisa bitch to make him a pie.

  18. Hogenmogen
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Every loyal CCer finds it irresistable to answer when a strip like Mary Whorth ends with a question. “I wonder what he’s doing now?”

    Wanking off to pictures of Bea Arthur, of course.

    But I also like the tone of “I remember that nice man who used to take me out to eat. What was his name again?” Mary, it’s been less than a week since you spoke to him last, you memory deficient cranial catastrophe.

  19. No One's Muse
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Anthony may be bland.
    Anthony may be unattractive.
    Anthony may be a wimp / loser / despised by 95% of y’alls.

    But “oh, that hair!”

  20. Sequitur
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    #12 Jim: Maybe it’s not heaven yet but some holding area (limbo) while wait for the proper escort. If that’s that case, maybe Lisa didn’t go to heaven either.

  21. Three-nineteen
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Comment #11 brought to you by:

    JOHN GOLDSTONE & “RALPH” The Wonder Llama
    EARL J. LLAMA
    MIKE Q. LLAMA III
    SY LLAMA
    MERLE Z. LLAMA IX
    40 SPECIALLY TRAINED ECUADORIAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS
    6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS
    142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS
    14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS (CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA)
    REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON

  22. Little Guy
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    GT: “…..and for the first time in 86 years, Oakwood goes to the playdowns!”

    FOOB: The last panel begged for a mashup of John’s reply. Thank you, Pope Josh, for the total package.

  23. glassonion
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Maybe it’s just me, but I enjoyed reading the last panel of FOOB on its own, out of context. If there is a community creating hot gay FOOB fanfic out there somewhere, this panel will be their Abbey Road cover.

  24. The Curmudgeon
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Jeffy may be the hardest working character in the cartoon business. Not only is he doing Family Circus full time, he’s recently guested in both Pearls Before Swine and Brewster Rockit. Next he’ll probably want to direct.

  25. Hogenmogen
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Josh sez “Ziggy’s killed his only friend with off-brand dog food”

    Great, now I’m anxious to see the results obtained by Mary Worth’s “Shrimp” and “Vegetables” concoction.

  26. Wally Winkerbean
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    You know Bull, you could take a page from my daughter’s soccer team.

    When they saw their orange jerseys with big white numbers, they immediately called themselves the creamsicles.

    I guess Batiuk thinks that Brown Bombers and Red Robins rhyme at some level.

    These teams names are just using alliteration, Tom. Not rhymes.

    Not too worry though.

    Bull knows an English teacher who is really great with words.

    Why he even has a novel that is sitting on a pile of floppy disks next to his computer.

  27. survivor
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    In Gil Thorp, the only explanation for the 3rd panel is that the baseball popped out of a hole near the pitcher’s left nipple and bounced into his glove.

  28. Evan
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    I love the tiny, half-assed (in terms of artistic rendering) moose, standing dumbly in the field like an old milk cow.

    Speaking as one who has seen moose in the wild, there’s rarely much time for standing around and pointing.

  29. Harry Worth
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Today’s visual begs the question, just what the hell is also in Mary’s freezer?

    ice cream

    ice cubes

    meat

    generic tofu

    aldo

    Please pan back so we can see more of the contents.

  30. lorne
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    #14 It’s quite clear that you don’t get it.

  31. Thursday Next
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    #14-Sue D. Nymme: hoping this is tongue-in-cheek?

    #16-lorne: Thank you for mentioning Monty Python, I was already asking myself, “Why do I know this?”

    #15-Captain Howdy: What I’m wondering is, why is Bull acting like they just asked him to rhyme something with orange? None of the others rhyme. Jeez, they could be the “Orange Low-level Offenders.”

  32. timprovphilly
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Thank you for explaining the PBS comic! I never read Funky so I had no idea what the joke was, now that I get it I laughed really hard.

  33. Calico
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Ha Ha, Ziggy is Mary Worth!

    Thanks to you, Josh, I now know that in French it should be “La Spreadsheet.”

    Who else is going to buy an el cheapo swan or dollar store memento to send to Corbeil Inc.?

    #29 – Mary probably hides the good jewelry in her ice cube tray. And a dead rabbit for good luck.

  34. Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    MW: Calling Dr. Freud…

    #5, FKA Major Hoople: thanks for the shout out.

  35. Marked Trail
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Moose are crepuscular.

    Finding one feeding like this in broad daylight is a bad sign.

    If only someone in the Trail group knew something about animals then they would be safe.

  36. Farley's Ghost
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    I bet Mary has Dr. Jeff’s penis in her freezer.

    Talk about your shrimpy scampy.

    And if you look in Elly’s freezer you would see bunny remains, John’s penis, Mike’s penis, Elly’s penis, and a slot for Anthony’s.

  37. J Shiggity
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    In GT’s defense, high-school baseball games are typically 7 innings.

    That said, why does the Jewish kid have to make the last out?

  38. Groovymarlin
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    I completely lost it when I read the line “Ah, the Bum Boat!” in MW today. I think I smell a new t-shirt slogan!

  39. poppinjay
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Maybe Tom Batiuk should ask those nutty kids at Syracuse if they know any good orange themed names.

  40. Dingo
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Seafood Scampi Hustle
    to the tune of ‘Sea Cruise’

    Old man Cory’s got some worryin’ blues
    No piece of poontang gonna feel his ooze
    His favorite guest got a new man to schmooze
    Won’t ya let him take you out for seafood?

    Oo-ee, oo-ee Mary
    Oo-ee, oo-ee Mary
    Oo-ee, oo-ee Mary
    Won’t ya let him take you out for seafood?

    Feels like humpin’ Mary won’t ya join him please
    Jeff don’t like beggin’ on arthritic knees

    That damn Ron Amalfi is a windbag hack
    Gonna get Jeff’s best girl in his downtown sack
    Don’t ask for meds when your penis is bruised
    Won’t ya let him take you out for seafood?

    Oo-ee, oo-ee Mary
    Oo-ee, oo-ee Mary
    Oo-ee, oo-ee Mary
    Won’t ya let him take you out for sea food?

    He feels like a prisoner and Jeff’s on the lam
    Life would be much better back in Vietnam
    That bitch-whore Mary soon will have to choose
    Won’t ya let him take you out for seafood?

    Oo-ee, oo-ee Mary
    Oo-ee, oo-ee Mary
    Oo-ee, oo-ee Mary
    Won’t ya let him take you out for seafood?

  41. Groovymarlin
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Uh, that was supposed to have a link to http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/mary.asp?date=20080711. Not sure why it didn’t work.

  42. commodorejohn
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    A.D. – Okay, “FLIGHTLESS HUNTERS UNITE!” is now my official motto.

    BS – I don’t think he’s joking, kid. And what’s with the eyepatch? Are you missing an eye, or is that just a severely incomplete Bazooka Joe costume?

    Crankshaft – WHAT THE WE JUST HAD THIS STORYLINE BATIUK YOU HACK ARGH. But at least we’ll get to see Cranky Old Bat gloating because, despite her son’s bullying her to sell her things, she managed to make $800 selling his treasured possessions. Rock on, you cranky old bat.

    FOOB – That’s an excellent idea, Anthony. After all, John’s the one who’s head-over-heels for you, anyway. And you just know that hose is subtextual.

    GT – Ah, the traditional Milford Armpit Spitting Contest.

    Luann – Um…does this mean what I think it means? That look on Bernice’s face? What’s the lesbian equivalent of a “beard?”

    MC – Ah-yep. That didn’t take long.

    PBS – Stephen Pastis, God among Comic Artists.

    RMMD – “WHOOP WHOOP?” What, is he being pulled over by Curly?

    SM – Oh man, the magnificence of today’s first panel almost makes up for the utter lameness of this storyline.

    Edison Lee – INTERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.

  43. DAS
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    GT: Am I the only one amazed that there are Jews in Milford?

  44. Pozzo
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    “Try to move that moose around! For some reason, shooting rays out of my left hand doesn’t seem to be working!”

  45. Hogenmogen
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Flunky Kinkerbean: Screw convention. Ditch the alliteration. Go with the Utans.

    What, you never heard of an orange-utan?

    It’s not often that on Crankshit the younger generation makes out better than the uninformed but comically stubborn troglodyte set of grey hairs. I just love the look of shock, despair and defeat from old crotchety chick in the second panel and the deft smugness radiating from young whippersnapper.

    Of course, I have no idea how impossible anyone who is only about 12 years old has amassed a collection of comics worth several hundred dollars. I mean, if I had the old stash now that my mother tossed when I was 12, it might be worth $800. But then again, those comics were printed during the Nixon era. Had I sold them when I was 12, I might have received $8.

    I know, 10,000% appreciation. But this is the same mother that threw out my sports trophies, bike and over 100 Atari cartridges when I went to college. These days she tries to make up for it by giving me the crap in the attic that didn’t get tossed, like a regifted shaving kit, a decorative broom and a few Christmas decorations. Oh, sorry, am I still talking about Crankshaft or have I segued into making the CC my personal psychiatrist couch again?

  46. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    #5 Formally known as Major Hoople
    That is brilliant! I must have missed it the first time around. Glad Pastis (and Josh) gave you the opportunity to re-post that masterpiece.

  47. Jim
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    #20: Good point, Sequitur. Perhaps Rat will have to go through another ordeal with St. Peter and try to weasel his way into paradise.

    It’s interesting that Pastis is doing this. Last year, when the FW Lisa’s death arc was wrapping up, I sent him an e-mail for a crossover suggestion. In the comics world, Lisa didn’t really die; her character was just written out of “Funky.” Rat would have taken this opportunity to try and get Lisa to appear in “Pearls” so the strip would finally have a hot woman. Unfortunately, it never came to pass.

  48. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    #34 DB
    Whoops. I should have known it came from the twisted mind of one Dean Boothe, Mad Genius.

  49. stokell
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    In GT, Rick Bozich is actually the Sports Editor of the Louisville Courier-Journal.

  50. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Booth(e)?

  51. Ratt
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    You know Rat and Pastis may just be in Purgatory.

    They still may go to hell to be subjected to Lisa Winkerbean, Farley, and Aldo.

  52. Froborr
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Bizarro: So… why is there cherry pie and dynamite in a graveyard? Is this a production of Robo-Shakespeare’s HamleWTF?

    Blondie: What is that hideous thing growing out of that poor boy’s head? It looks like a pitch-black cockscomb. Of course! It all makes sense now. Elmo is the Dreadlord Chickenpants!

    No, wait, still doesn’t make any sense.

    Boffo: Earl is enjoying his plunge to death while the severed head of some kid looks on from the lawn. Obviously, it’s a rival production of HamleWTF.

    Close to Home: Nothing ruins a date like when your dentures challenge each other to a mid-air fight to the death.

    DtM: Dennis, based on the way your dad is staring at your mom’s chest, I’d say he’s thinking the exact same thing. Either that or “Dang, I wish Graham Nolan drew this.”

    FC: Dolly loves it when Billy is forced to sleep outside. Now all she has to do is get rid of Jeffy and she’ll get to sleep in a bed!

    FW: It’s girl’s softball, right? How about the Orange Julies? And it’s FW, so what about Orange Ovarian-Cancer-Victims-in-Training?

    Garfield: “Cursing the plaster pirate” is the dirtiest thing I’ve seen in the comics today.

    Heathcliff: Heathcliff killed eight people. He’s hoping it’ll get pinned on Garfield.

    Jumble: Okay, so nobody likes a bungling sadist, but is cannibalism really the answer?

    MT: Will we get to see Mark Trail punch a moose? Please tell me we’ll get to see Mark Trail punch the moose! Why does that sound so filthy?

    MW: Mary’s “SHRIMP”-brand frozen bloodworms just aren’t as good as the Bum Boat’s fresh-caught bloodworms.

    Mother Goose & Grimm: I… what? Not only does Grimm’s comment make no sense, but for some reason the purple cat-raccoon-squirrel thing is protecting its genitals. Why? For the love of all that is holy, WHY?

    Mutts: Squirrels are carnivores now. Who knew?

    PBS: Nothing I could possibly say could ever top this.

    Pluggers: Pluggers are senile.

    Slylock: That giant mosquito looks pretty smug, but that’s only because he doesn’t see the crazed squirrel next to him. Will nothing stop their newfound lust for meat?

    S-M: Peter does what he does best.

    I’ve read the first decade of the Spider-Man comic book. It was hilarious and action-packed, with Peter struggling with all these normal-guy problems AND supervillains at the same time. I particularly remember one where he had to fight Doc Ock, but his suit didn’t fit and his mask kept threatening to fall off…

    Anyway, newspaper Spider-Man is obviously trying to recreate those days, but they’ve only heard about them second-hand and don’t have any idea how to pull it off. It’s like if somebody heard the Marx Brothers were funny, so they dug up Karl Marx’s moldering corpse and filmed it yelling at the TV.

    Ziggy: Ziggy bought dog food at the Santa Royale yard sale. The stench of meddlesome old biddy has killed his dog.

    Zippy: I’m actually enjoying Zippy? I’m actually enjoying Zippy. I’m scared. Please, Mr. Griffin, go back to Zippy yelling at landmarks, so I can go back to thinking you’re a drug-addled moron. Deal?

  53. NoahSnark
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    And thus my day was filled with horror, as the thought of the FBOFW men talking about their genitalia enters my brain.

    Excuse me while I go look for some bleach and steel wool.

  54. Anon
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    in re FW and naming a team, how about the

    What is this Orange thing on my x-ray and is it important?

  55. CanuckDownSouth
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Would it be too much to hope for that Edison Lee is actually a subtle satire on the state of sci/tech knowledge in America? Ha! If they laugh at it, they think THIS is plausible! We could rename it —- Does. Not. Work. That. Way.

    This week: hydrocarbons, genetics, and internal combustion. The possibilities are endless!

  56. TeamCorndog
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Today in Mary Worth, we learn that Mary thinks in words, and her thought bubble thinks in pictures. Judging by the strip’s content lately, this will eventually become a full loop leading to Mary vicariously thinking about herself thinking. At that point, the strip will toss the old standby “linear” layout for a more suitable “mobius” layout. And Mary will finally control the very fabric of the universe.

  57. Jim Thorp(e)
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Real high school team play nine.

    No wonder the scouts are not impressed.

  58. Froborr
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @47. Jim: Please don’t do that again. I know, in TV, if they receive an unsolicited suggestion for a storyline from a fan, that usually guarantees they can *never* do that story because of copyright issues. I assume comics are the same.

    @51. Ratt: What would be truly beautiful is if they encountered Farley, Aldo, Lisa… and Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light.

  59. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    PBS: Alright, Pastis, I call you out, lurker. We know you’re a Comics Curmudgeon reader now. Say hi!

    Ces says hi when HE passes through.

  60. Calico
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    #59 – Yeah, and Bob Weber Jr., and Ed Power, and (maybe?) Karen Moy.

    Come into the sandbox and play! It is summertime, y’know! : )

  61. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    The Orange Ornettes and their Harmolodic Teamwork!

  62. Sequitur
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Ewww. Mary Worth’s using frozen shrimp. It’s only good with FRESH shrimp. And doesn’t she live near the ocean?
    Frozen shrimp. **shudder**

  63. fillmoreeast
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    #36:
    “And if you look in Elly’s freezer you would see bunny remains, John’s penis, Mike’s penis, Elly’s penis, and a slot for Anthony’s.”

    That last one is also known as “Elizabeth.”

  64. Justafoob
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Granthony is never going to see Eliazbeth’s slot.

    They already have an instant family.

    Besides which, Elly has told Liz that sex is yucky. After you do your wifely duty, you have to go “shave your sheets”.

  65. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Baldo – Is Tia Carmen refering to the host of Sabado Gigante, that Don Francisco? I love that show! I only understand about 5% of what is said, but I still can’t stop watching it! One moment it appears to be traditional talk show with celebrity guests or authors. The next it’s a butt contest where they’re judging curvaceous thong-clad cuties’ derieres. Then it’s a game show with studio audience participation and fabulous prizes or maybe a dance contest. Then they’re acting out skits, ala Saturday Night Live, except en Espanol. Even without subtitles, it’s great. AND it’s packed with scantily clad, well-endowed women who dance a great deal. There’s nothing like it on English-language TV.

    I’d vote for Don Francisco. I think he lives in Miami.

  66. survivor
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    I think I’m going to walk around with a facial expression of sadistic glee while holding a key in the same manner as Jack.

    I’m certain that people around me will feel compelled to protect certain orifices, paralyzed with fear.

  67. Rebelcat
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Anthony looks so much like a girl (complete with tiny breasts), that when I read that last panel I completely misinterpreted what he was asking. I thought he was suggesting that he and John should elope together.

    Which, come to think of it, would be awesome.

  68. Uncle Lumpy
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

  69. dale
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    FunkyW

    The Orange Baboon Butts

  70. Client No. 9
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: In the 4th panel, I thought Anthony was asking John to elope. Now that would be an interesting story line.

  71. CanuckDownSouth
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Read in the right way, Twilight of the FOOBs finally shows John having some personality, with a slightly wicked sense of humour. The fun is watching the women go nuts and descend into fits and tears over which exact shade of lilac the napkins should be. With this attitude, we can all start having fun well before the ‘mudges start crashing the Bestest Shindig E-vah.

    Pop a beer, sit back, and enjoy the show, Anthony. It will be hilarious.

  72. Smarmy Duke
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Is “Old moose” a nickname for Roger’s penis?

    Ray’s too wasted to move, but there’s motion lines on either side of his head? Haley roused him…since we can’t see her hands we only guess as to how she did that.

    Masky McDeath, I thought that Taco of “Puttin’ on the Ritz” fame?

  73. Calico
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    #33 – I typed
    “Who else is going to buy an el cheapo swan or dollar store memento to send to Corbeil Inc.?”

    My prose sucks lately- this is not meant in regard to Josh if anyone thought so – it’s a literal question based on someone’s comment that lots and lots of (cheap) mementos should be sent to FoobCorp. as commemoration of Anthony and John’s Liz’s wedding.

    That is all for now. Happy Afternoon!

  74. Rusty
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Foob: Lost in all the snark is the fact that John is so committed to playing with model trains that he puts on a train engineer’s uniform. That’s violating about 10 different man rules.

  75. Calico
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    The Orange Flames?

    Calling TJ!

  76. bats :[
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    I think Kelly Welly is the granddaughter of Marlin Perkins.
    Unfortunately, this makes Roger (and anyone else in Kelly’s wake) Jim Fowler.

    40. Dingo: oooh, particularly disgusting!
    Kudos!

  77. lorne
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    #35 Crepuscular? Actually, moose are diurnal, meaning they are more active in the day. However, they can best be found near shorelines at dusk and dawn which is the best time to hunt them. It would be quite unusual to find a moose standing alone in the middle of a field in broad daylight staring at a bunch of people and their pack mules.
    And only an idiot would approach one unarmed.
    You see, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…
    A Møøse once bit my sister…

    Sorry. There I go again.

  78. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    #54 Anon
    Geez, I’m slow. I had to read that a couple of times. That’s spot on.

    Maybe the Agent Orange.

  79. Baka Gaijin
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Pickles: Dennis could take menacing lessons from Muffy. Truly.

    Cow and Boy:The fake ZZ Top beard on a cow is just…This whole week has been oddly surrealifragilistic. Catch the excitement!

  80. T. Chicana
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Foob: uh-oh, I think “Assthony is asking John to elope” is going to become the next “Has anyone noticed that Aldo looks like Captain Kangaroo?”

    All kidding aside, though: Die, Foobs, Die. I am so sick of this “women are hysterical martyrs and isn’t it amusing for the men-folk to sit back and watch?” HAR de HAR har. Go to hell, Lynn.

  81. Mac
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Like Rebelcat, I originally read Granthony’s “Maybe we should just elope” as meaning that he and Dr. John should elope, which is perfectly legal in Canada, and which would indeed be awesome and for once totally unsuspected. Then maybe Deanna would elope with Liz and April would elope with the dogs, and eventually Elly would be left alone with the wedding dress and could finally fulfill her Miss Havershamish destiny.

  82. Baka Gaijin
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    #79 Me: I forgot to add about Cow & Boy: When I see Wednesday’s Cow beard I hear a melody, something about Tarzana.

  83. Anon
    July 11th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    The Orange Agents of Cancer Clusters?

  84. Niall
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Silly me, I answered in yesterthread while over 70 responses were in this one. Oops. So I’m linking, not double-posting to not be a fiend. :)

  85. Poteet
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    MW — Eeww. What impresses me most about MW is its chilling ability to make me never want sex again. On certain occasions, it has even made me want to go back and undo all the sex I ever had before.

  86. Sparky
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Anthony is an adult, and has been one for long enough to be a divorced father, he’s about to get remarried, and he is calling his soon-to-be father-in-law (whom he has known for how many years now) “DR. P”? Well, at least he doesn’t feel he has to be so formal and deferential as to say the whole last name.

    Or perhaps, as it looked to me when I first read it, he said “HEY, DRIP”

  87. Poteet
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    # 81 Mac — BWAHAHA! You owe me a keyboard.

  88. minor flood
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    I laughed out loud all the way through your comments today, Josh!!! Well played, sir.

  89. Anon
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    So Anthony and Dr P are going to go into the garage and check out each other’s penis now?

    Cool.

    Too bad Mike is working so hard with his muse. He would be able to show them his stump.

  90. denny
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    MW: Why is the Mary in the memory bubble also having the same thought that the (presumably) real Mary is having. Does that mean Mary was reminiscing on the fond memories of the Bum Boat while those memories were being formed? Is Mary a precog?

    Oh – and Mary, you’re wondering what he’s doing now. You may have noticed you have this device in your house called a “telephone.” It’s sort of like a telegraph, except that it can transmit human voice, at the speed of light, across wires – and nowadays, through the very ether itself! Dr. Corey used this so-called “telephone” to try to find out what you were doing. It it just might be possible that the “telephone” works to two directions; that is, if Dr. Corey used to device to contact you, you might be able to use it to contact him!

  91. Sparky
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    PBS today is a comics masterpiece, it works in many ways. The situation is funny with the cartoonist dead in his own strip. Good in-character humor with Rat in heaven yet still self-centeredly complaining. And it is an oddly homely angel. So it is quite funny even for those who don’t get the hilarious Funky Winkerbean reference.

  92. Bootsy
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    FooB: My first thought about panel one was that Anthony was saying “Hi Drip!” It’s hard to tell Anthony from Michael these days, and Michael and Elizabeth begin looking alike. It’s creepy, is what it is.

    Phantom: I thought they fixed the plane and were leaving! Now it looks like Kit and Diana are helping Big Guy fix a salad. A few days ago, they were all, “Good luck my friend!” and now thy’re all “Oh shit. We gotta stay and hear his damn hurricane story”.

  93. Wally Winkerbean
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    The Orange Melanomas?

  94. Anonymous
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    FOOB Haw, haw, those dames are a hoot! Don’t they know it’s the bachelor party that needs all the planning? Just remember Anthony, your friends are shelling out a lot of money for hookers and blow, so you’d better make sure you do their share. None of this, “It wouldn’t be right,” or “It’s not the responsible thing to do.”

    MT “That may not be a good idea, Kelly!” My God, he’s a bigger wuss than Anthony! Tell. Her. NO!

    Ziggy Next time? You mean the next time you get a dog? ‘Cause Purina and Iams don’t have the power to bring dead dogs back to life. Ever since the class action suit, they don’t even imply it in their advertising.

    GT I’m reminded of Homer Simpson. “I never realized how boring this game really is.” Maybe a couple belts of scotch would help.

  95. queek
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Without this blog, my first thoughts upon seeing the last panel would not have involved Tom of Finland-style cops, possible photoshops, and an O! face.

    PBS: win^win

    SF: anything but Sally’s Mother!

    OT due to webcomic reference instead of dead-tree, but today’s QC was hilarious!

  96. denny
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    Today’s “Shoe” (http://www.gocomics.com/shoe/) is veering very close to the use of those words that are not specific like the ones used in that comic strip with people who are black.

  97. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    Fighting Orange Carcinogens.

    Orange Orwellians.

    Orange Orthoscopic Surgeons.

    Orange Orifi.

    Orange Counties.

    Orange Odors.

    Orangeitis.

    Orange of Possibilities.

    Oranginas.

  98. Donald The Anarchist
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Arrrrggghh…’Anonymous at 94 was me. I’ve been updating my browser, and it apparently erased a couple things.

  99. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    That does it, I’m a Kelly/Alan shipper. They’re just so adorably inept at everything.

  100. Brent
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    #74: “Lost in all the snark is the fact that John is so committed to playing with model trains that he puts on a train engineer’s uniform. That’s violating about 10 different man rules.” Beyond the fact that a ball cap and a striped shirt are not a train engineer’s uniform, you have obviously never spent any time with model railroaders or you would know that dressing like an engineer is almost de rigeur for the true experience.

    Also, Josh, your What They Say And What They Mean! was an uncannily accurate reproduction of my brother’s one (and so far only marriage – they’re divorced but I think the experience scared him so much he has no desire to do it again). However the correct translation of “What? And spoil all the fun?!!” is “I have a penis and doing what you suggest is a sure way to lose it.”

  101. O'Brien
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    I think Ziggy didn’t look closely enough at the label:

    http://www.hulu.com/watch/10335/saturday-night-live-pet-chow

  102. Wally Winkerbean
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    I can’t wait for Bull to have to deal with all the “softball parents” who think that their little darling is Ted Williams thawed out.

    Williams of Orange?

  103. Nekrotzar
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    Anthony: “My doctor just gave me some pills so my penis can go full-tilt.”

  104. Johnson Delegate
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Interesting that Ziggy’s dog requires more in terms of product specificity than either Herb or Jamal, who almost certainly would have bought “That Major Pet Food Brand Everyone Is Buying” brand dog food.

  105. Mac
    July 11th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    I like “Drip” but that would make it seem like Anthony was greeting himself.

    Wow, that came out wrong…

    Anyway, I’ve never thought that Lynn Johnston was bad at characterization, only that she doesn’t seem to understand what makes a character interesting or attractive, and I think “Dr. P” is in character for Granthony. I wouldn’t greet anyone who was much older than me by first name, either. Yes, I just compared myself to Anthony Caine. Excuse me, I have to go find a bridge to jump from.

  106. Tweeks_Coffee
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    How about the Orange Tangs?

    Anyway, I find all this particularly stupid. Though my years in youth soccer (roughly 20 years ago) tells me that they did give out colors like this, I doubt high-schoolers are going to find cutesy color-based names all that amusing. Just call yourselves Tigers or something and get it over with, Bull. Heck, I remember one year our colors were yellow and sky blue and we called ourselves The Fireants (this was in Texas where that was one of the more fearsome things we had yet encountered).

  107. bats :[
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    90. Denny: I don’t pretend to understand MW’s thought bubbles. It’s just easier that way…
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2658424913/sizes/o/

    95. queek: no. Just no. Max does not rate Tom-of-Finland cops. Never.
    Rex…maybe.

  108. DAS
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    H&J: Jamaal has long “arms” which give him amazing physical powers … hmm …

  109. Anon
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    The Poon Tangs?

    Toon Pangs? That might be better in keeping with the somber tone to most of the Funkyverse.

  110. Baka Gaijin
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    #107 bats :[ : Ha ha ha ha! “Happy Ending Soon, Dr. Jeff?” Ha ha!

  111. fillmoreeast
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    #94:

    FOOB Haw, haw, those dames are a hoot! Don’t they know it’s the bachelor party that needs all the planning? Just remember Anthony, you have no ostensible friends or family, and the Pattersaints are being “careful” with their money, so it’ll just be you and maybe Gordon sitting around and drinking warm Molson Export, watching John’s trains go round and round while Mike reads aloud from whatever godawful third book he’ll have miraculously published by the end of the summer. Which still beats your usual evening activity of sitting naked in Francie’s cage in the basement and calling Therese and hanging up when she answers, all night long.

    There. Fixed.

  112. casimar
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Anthony FINALLY asked Dr. P to elope with him. I, for one, am not at all surprised.

  113. Harry Worth
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    I see that Mary has her box of frozen shrimp, but only a box of frozen vegetables in the freezer.

    Hadn’t she better run out to the store and get some scampi? Fresh or frozen.

  114. Zaggy
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    It is a good thing that Ziggy has labels on his 25 pound bags of food.

    I would hate for him to give his poor dog some Ziggy Chow. That would mean the ASPCA would have to be brought in for an intervention.

  115. gnome de blog
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    IMO, today’s entry is comedy gold, at least by FOOB standards.

  116. StrangeRover
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    #45 Hogenmogen:
    …See the son, who is now in middle age, reverts to feeling like the 12-year-old kid and…. oh never mind.

  117. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    I think both Archie and Sam Driver could improve their golf game by taking a little coaching from the noble Clambake: “Lock your eyes on one hole, get set, and swing. And keep doing it.”

  118. Violet
    July 11th, 2008 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    I think Anthony’s decision to address John as “Dr. P” is an attempt to Fonzie up his image. Sure, we all know that on his best day he could barely aspire to Potsie, but a man can dream, and so can Anthony. Look for him to start calling April “Shortcake” and responding to all inquiries with his new catch-phrase “whatever-you-say-a-mundo.” Fonzie’s trademark double-thumbs-up “AYYYYYY!” will be replaced by “eh” and a barely perceptible shrug.

  119. teenchy
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Come on, it has to be Le Grand Orange!

  120. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    I used to call my Urologist Dr. P. He hates that.

  121. Gordo
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Not only do we hear Anthony ask Dr P to run off with him, check out panel one.

    Dr. P. is doing a good job of draining Mr. C’s hose.

    Good to the last drop.

  122. gleeb
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Pigborn: Gantlet. You run a gantlet; a gauntlet is a glove. Fussy? Why yes. Yes, I am. And I’ve broken girls’ hearts throughout the state.

    9CL: Show, don’t tell. That’s the golden rule for a visual medium. Like here, where you can show us the results of all these actions, instead of continually describing them. Or at least give us two panels of gams.

    ‘shaft: OK, Batiuk, I get it. You’re a sixty-year-old comic book geek. I don’t really sympathize, but I understand. And before anyone gets in my grill, think about it. It doesn’t matter if comics are an adult form nowadays; those comics must be at least 30 years old. They’re from the era when comics really were written for children and adolescents. Now move on…

    Dick: “And Markey, thanks for not sticking around to find out which bank. I like a challenge.”

    ‘bean: Oh, come on, meathead! Crush; Juice; Papist Killers, there’s a million of ‘em!

    Sam Driver, economy stimulator!: Or you could actually look for the clubs, Sam. And didn’t you have an appointment this morning?

    Duck: I know you have wings, not hands, and that they shake due to the gin, but you could just not break the bulbs.

    Monty: Having snail piss in one’s ear, like other forms of misery, loves company.

    Pluggers: …haven’t actually used a postcard since 1951.

  123. Niall
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    106. Tweeks Coffee: “Fire ants” is definitely a name to be feared!

    107. bats :[ : And you had to do all that research to find source material. The suffering you do for our amusement! :)

  124. Calico
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    How about “The Blood Oranges”?

    (With all due respect to the band of the same name)

  125. Islamorada Girl
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Orange Blossoms! Problem fixed!

  126. TheDiva
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    I don’t care if he’s ineligible–Josh’s FOOB snark gets my vote for COTW.

  127. Niall
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    122. gleeb: sorry, but… from the Concise Oxford Dictionary:

    Gantlet: US var. of gauntlet.

    Once more the weird US style fixation of dropping random letters to have One Less Letter To Have To Spell strikes again.

  128. Perky Bird
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    I know how this Mary-cooks-scampi story arc will play out. Mary will get food poisoning from the generic “shrimp” she is using, and will be rushed to the hospital, where Dr. Jeff will save her life, and their “love” will be rekindled.

    You heard it here first!

  129. man behind the curtain
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    MW — Now we understand the motivation behind Mary’s relationship with Dr. Jeff. It was alll about the free dinners.

  130. Captain Howdy
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    Orange Alerts?
    Orange Counties?
    Orange-You-Glad-You-Don’t-Have-Cancer-Yet?

  131. man behind the curtain
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    FBOW — So Josh we now know that Dr. P and Blandthony each have a penis. Not that they would know what to do with it. Too bad neither has a spine.

  132. gleeb
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    127: Descriptivist excess! Pah!

  133. Mathlord
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    #122 gleeb: According to the online American Heritage Dictionary, the word is indeed gauntlet, not gantlet. I also am fussy and have broken girls’ hearts throughout the country!

  134. gleeb
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    133: More descriptivists! Well, I don’t care! Come at me with your “irregardless” and “orange”. It’s “regardless” and “norange” as far as I’m concerned!

  135. Niall
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    132. gleeb: I find I need a healthy dose of humour to read through there comments. :)

  136. Niall
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    these. THESE. Once more the curse of typoing when talking grammar bites me in the Derry Air – despite my name not being Danny. nor I being a boy.

  137. Mathlord
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    134 gleeb: Ah yes, the wonders of the English language where bomb, comb, and tomb are have different pronunciations.

  138. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth is looking rather gauntlet today. Maybe healthy portion of frozen shrimp and frozen vegetable pizza will help perk her up and fill her out.

    Ah, the Bum Boat! It seems like only yesterday I was sending back the Hearst Oysters. (I ordered the Mussels Onassis.) And those hushpoopies would fill me up before the krillcakes even arrived! And Jeff would always do his “see-food” joke and everyone would laugh until their sour-apple wine-coolers came spewing out of their noses. Then we always had so much fun trying to get out of there without paying the check and Jeff would get into a fight with the hostess who always get hiim in a headlock and knew just where to apply the right amount of pressure…Ah yes, the Bum Boat.

  139. Perky Bird
    July 11th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    I have to admit that everytime I see that “FreeCreditReport.com” commercial with the guy singing in the seafood restaurant, I think, “Wow, the Bum Boat has live music! No wonder Mary likes it so much.”

  140. Daily Comics Reviewer
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    Not having been a Winkerbeaner for very long I had no idea who Masky McDeath was, so I thank you for straightening out the Pearls strip for me today.

  141. LTBF
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    I’m still wondering why anthony picked up the hose as he walked into the yard. Or is that a hose he is holding in the first panel?

  142. denny
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @141 – LTBF: Actually, I think that’s Dr. P holding Anthony’s dibbling hose in Panel 1, hence Anthony’s proposal to elope in Panel 4. Unfortunately, Dr. P. doesn’t wan to “spoil the fun” of their NSA relationship. With Anthony married to Liz, she can operate as their mutual beard.

  143. Niall
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Quick thanks to TrueFable and Lisa, whoever she is on here, for commenting on my Ireland report, and to say I’ve responded. Please! More! I crave intelligent comments. :)

  144. commodorejohn
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    Help Screw Up Canadian Television!

    Hey, guys, i spotted this on the SA forums: the CBC is having a contest for J. Random Internet to pick the new theme for Hockey Night In Canada, and a goon has submitted this rhythmic, cacophonic sound collage. It’s currently in the top five, and it should absolutely finish at #1. Therefore, we need to do our part to ensure a victory for what is, basically, a sample-mash of sheep bleats, babies crying, old Casio rhythms, and assorted other sounds. Let’s bring some taste back to the nation that gave us For Better Or For Worse and Celine Dion!

  145. commodorejohn
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    #127 Niall – Actually, even in the US I’ve never seen it spelled “gantlet.”

  146. Poteet
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    I hesitate to mention this, but I think “What he says” meant to say “Fine, Anthony.” I hesitate because “Anthonty” is more amusing, to the extent anything connected with that freckled mope loser can be amusing. And it’s interesting to see, per the second panel, that his nose occasionally insists on shifting back into its real shape.

  147. Batman Beatles
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    MW – It seemed like only yesterday Jeff and I had dinner at the Bum Boat, while Bob The Singing Bass sang one of our songs!

  148. Edge
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    “# Jim says:
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:25 am

    PBS: Am I the only one wondering how Rat managed to get into Heaven?”

    Jim, I wondered that myself

  149. michael farris
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    I am totally digging on Kelly Welly and her quest to get as much footage of animals stomping on people as possible. I can only assume that she and Margo were separated at birth. Gabriela’s evil spirits? Her other, equally evil, daughter rampaging in the wilderness just a few strips away … Dios mio!

  150. UncleJeff
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know if it’s “gantlet” or “gauntlet” but — unlike Batiuk — I know how to spell the name of Joe Louis…the original “Brown Bomber.”
    And, yes, he could fight.

  151. Lolsworth
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    The word “penis” has now lost all meaning.

  152. gnome de blog
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    130 Captain Howdy:
    No more calls, we have a winner!

    144 commodorejohn:
    Be fair. It’s also the nation that gave us Neil Young, Joni Mitchell and, well, hockey.

  153. dimestore lipstick
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    Bull needs to try for a corporate sponsership from the folks at Greased Lightning®.

    Because Orange Blast™ would make an awesome name for a softball team:

    http://www.greased-lightning.com/products/Products.aspx?ProductId=3

  154. Galuaboy
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    JP: Wow, way to phone it in. How many times are we going to have this old vaudeville joke repeated? “Dewey Cheatham? Where’s Mr. Howe?” Sam asked that of the Judge on Monday, Gloria repeats it today (while Sam ends with his usual non sequitur about golf clubs) . . . then in upcoming strips Gloria can tell it to her new squeeze (whose name I can’t be bothered to go back and look up), then he can tell it to his invalid mother who will smack him and tell him it wasn’t funny when she first heard Flo Ziegfeld use it in 1907.

  155. Sequitur
    July 11th, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    FW: Orange you glad you don’t have to name this team?

  156. Poteet
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    154 Galuaboy — Or, just after the really hard smack, Invalid Mom can tell him “I almost fell out of my cradle laughing at that one!” That’s my mom’s response to painfully stale jests, though she’s kind enough not to smack.

  157. KH
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    Orange you going to say banana?

    Orang-a-booms

    Agents Orange

    Lady Vols. Pat Summitt is the new assistant coach. Man, I would love to see that.

    MW: Oh crap. Mary got dumped on her ass and now she will “let” Jeff back into her life. She should have to grovel. On her knees. I never knew until this arc what a complete narcissistic cow she was. Meddling old biddy, sure. She’s she’s taken her scarlet B from biddy to beeee-otch.

    Pastis rules. Rules!!!!

  158. Sequitur
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    Something you would rather not know about squirrels:

    http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/mutts.asp

  159. KH
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    As to rat being dead –

    From an interview with Pasits on comics.com:
    “I first drew Rat while bored during a class on the European Economic Community in law school. I still have the first strip. Rat gets killed.”

  160. Joe Btfsplk
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    Gil – This has to be the tiniest ballpark I’ve ever seen, unless they’re playing Nerf baseball or something.

    Mark – Cut Miss Welly some slack; the way her eyes focus, she thinks that that moose is farther away than it really is.

    Dick – Those dogs do look pretty badass, but I’m wondering how effective they will be as weapons, as they don’t seem able to close their mouths.

    Phantom -He’s not hurting anyone! I say we wish him well and fly on! Got to get back to the Jungle Patrol, you know. After all, this guy’s just a lonesome, dispossessed, ripped Justice Warrior whose only desire is to fight against criminals. Nope, can’t for the life of me think of anywhere else that would have a place for him. Wait a minute… Say… look at him hone that chef’s knife there! You know, he seems to know his way around a kitchen. And we did just hire a waitress…

    Brenda – We could try using the first panels from today and yesterday to play “Six Differences,” but I’m not sure that there are that many.

    Blondie – And of course, the hot Bumstead daughter’s name happens to be “Cookie.” Yeah, kid, well, everyone’s interested in that, so be prepared for some competition. Maybe if you head over to Family Circus, Billy might let you be part of that Cookie Sandwich he’s been dreaming about.

    CrockCrock is drawn in front of a live studio audience.

  161. DAS
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: “Now just step right here Diane and Underwear Man — er, Mr. Phantom … just one slice with this sharp knife and I’ll always have you two here to stay with me as my friends … Katrina took all my other friends away from me, she won’t take you two once I stuff you, mount you and waterproof you”

  162. DAS
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    chron site banner ad: “Believe out loud”? I guess that’ll happen soon if her unseen partner doesn’t, um, tire out … for now it looks like she’s enjoying the experience.

  163. Shoshi
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp — Actually, Rosen asked for Yom Kippur off.

    FOOB — The linked Masky McDeath post includes proof that St. Michael DOES use a regular sitter.

  164. Jennifer
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Josh-
    thank you, thank you thank you for the Pearls Before Swine strip. My favorite one is when he was trying to brainstorm who to kill, someone nominated Jeffy.
    Here’s my take on Elizabeth and Grananthony:
    http://www.redroom.com/blog/jenniferkate/dont-do-it-elizabeth-for-love-god-dont-marry-grananthony

  165. Shoshi
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Oh geez, that PenisReductionPills.com ad is amusing.

  166. Mars
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    It still blows my mind how Lynn considers eloping a valid marriage-ing option; “why not elope?” has been advised by every friend of every character that has gotten married in this strip, and I’m not kidding. At one point someone always says that. Sure, let’s screw over everybody who wanted to see their daughter/relative/friend in one of their happiest moments. And never mind how much money we’ve already spent. Nuts, man…..nuts.

  167. bats :[
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    123. Niall: and more difficult than you might imagine!

  168. Islamorada Girl
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Anthony Caine, how I hate you. Even your family seems to hate you, since they refuse to become involved in the Fooberdammerung. Or are they all in tiny cages in your basement, too?

  169. Walter Ramsey
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone else wondered if Mary’s “Bum Boat” is the same thing as Gil’s “Bucket”? As in, “She’s going to make me eat scampi in the ‘Bum Boat’…!”

  170. Calvin
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    FW: Does the name “Brown Bombers” sound scatalogical to anyone else?

  171. KH
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    #166 Mars: Not to mention the fact that they WHOLE REASON they are getting married now is so Gramps can be at the wedding.

  172. Cedar
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    #144

    Oh Lord Lord. I have tears in my eyes from listening to that. I actually registered and voted for it. I’m not sure, but it appears to be in first place now.

  173. Moss_Moses
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    29. Harry, that is the first freezer I’ve ever seen that has a compartment labelled “vegetables”. This is where she stores the frozen tofu briquettes for the Charterstone pool parties. The shrimp are either spoiled or she spilled a bottle of FDC Red #5 food coloring on them.

  174. Moss_Moses
    July 11th, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    170. Calvin, that all depends on what brown can do for you.

  175. Dr. Dong
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    Is Ziggy making a reference to the tainted petfood scare a few months back?

  176. Shoebox
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    Foob: Anthony’s inexplicable fascination with the 60′s apparently extends to gender roles. I’m starting to feel incredibly sympathetic to what Therese might have gone through, as a bright young woman trying to get this lump to realise it’s the 21st century.

    PBS: OK, [raises hand] last person on the planet not to twig the FW reference, right here. I wonder if Pastis has Tom ‘It’s called writing’ Batuik’s permission for this one? Also, am I a terrible person for hoping he doesn’t?

  177. Brick Bradford
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    Pete Moss–is it really wise to annoy a urologist?

  178. Dur Tahar
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Margo’s mom keeps passing out because her spirit is leaving her to appear in Mark Trail comics.

  179. BigTed
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    When you think about it, there are surprisingly few professions whose risks include a moose attack. Apart from wild-animal photography, the only other ones are Alaskan high-bush cranberry thief and Russian spy in Frostbite Falls, Minnesota.

  180. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    #177 Brick Bradford
    Only did it once. He’s more persuasive than Sam Driver. I bet under the right conditions, he’d get Dewey to cough up a $75k advance for the Judge’s book. Hey, maybe that was Michael Patterson’s technique.

  181. Ukulele Ike
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: Lots of excellent suggestions for “orange” team names!

    But am really I gonna be the first ‘mudge to point out that Big Dopey Batuik misspelled the name of heavyweight champion Joe Louis?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Louis

  182. Galuaboy
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    #176 Shoebox: I was wondering the same thing about Pastis getting permission. You’re not a terrible person (at least in my book!) because I, too, hope he didn’t have to get permission. Because that would mean he most likely had to get permission from Daddy Keane to offer up Jeffy for sacrifice a few days back. It’s not quite so fun if Keane and Batiuk are in on it. Any copyright lawyers lurking out there?

  183. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    #181 Ukulele Ike
    No, you’re not. But thanks for playing!

  184. Captain Howdy
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Wow. In addition to all of his other previously-listed faults, Anthony also wears “Mom Jeans” that appear to be at least an inch too short.

  185. Cedar
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    176 and 182

    It’s one thing to just feature a character from another strip, but he seems to have just copied and pasted the exact image of Masky McDeath. Certainly he would have had to have permission for that?

  186. Ukulele Ike
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    PeteMoss @ 183: Aw, crap. That’s what I get for not refreshing this damn thread before posting.

    I loved your descrip of Sabado Gigante back at #65, BTW.

  187. Dr. Weird
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    #182 Galuaboy

    Parody is a strong exception to copyright laws, and a defense against any lawsuits. No one could (succesfully) argue that Pastis is unfairly exploiting the works of the FC or FW with one-panel appearances like this. It’s not like anyone could confuse PBS with the other strips because of the characters you see… confusion is another standard that must be met for infringement. Though IANAL, I do have some firsthand experience with this sort of thing.

  188. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    #181 Ukulele Ike
    (See Uncle Jeff at 150)

  189. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    #186 Ukulele Ike
    Geez & grackers, somehow I know exactly what you mean. Haha. Let’s all take time out to refresh!

    Sabado really makes me want to start studying Spanish again. I want to be a guest on that show so badly!

  190. cheech wizard
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    176/Shoebox, et al: Patis commonly collaborates with the other cartoonists whose characters guest star in his strip. He recently contacted Ces (who I think wrote about it here) fto supply him with a drawing of Ted Forth to use in his scenario of Ted asking Rat the concierge to find him a hooker. That same week, Ces arranged for Ted and Sally to be in a hotel, and Ted just happened to wander off looking for the concierge. Patis also did a scenario with the baby from “Baby Blues” being a total badass offscreen who ends up killing one of the crocs. That same day, in Baby Blues you saw the baby chewing on a crocodile toy. So I’m pretty sure he’s contacted Batuik and Jeff Keane to obtain the images he’s used and has their blessing.

  191. Niall
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    144. commodorejohn: oh my GOD it hurts to laugh this much!!!!

  192. Jamus The Bartender
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    My Cage: I didn’t know Ashley was Catholic.

  193. Sjofn
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    OK, PBS actually made me laugh out loud. That never ever happens when I read the comics!

    Also, FUCK For Better or For Worse. Right in its stupid, sexist, idiotic, sexist, trite, sexist, moronic and sexist ear.

  194. Ukulele Ike
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    PeteM: Hey, maybe Batuik should call that team “The Orange Sultans of Swat,” in honor of baseball great Babe Rooth.

  195. Galuaboy
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    #190 cheech: I loved the “Ted Forth asking Rat to get him a hooker” cross-over, and I knew Pastis and Ces had discussed it, so you’re probably correct about appearances by Masky McDeath and Jeffy. If Keane did indeed give Pastis permission to use Jeffy . . . well, FC just went up a few notches in my ledger. Granted, it still has a long way to go to see daylight, but it did move up a bit!

  196. Sequitur
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    #144 commodorejohn:

    That is one sweet tune. I bet it’s the sound Elly makes when she gets up in the morning.

  197. Steve the Pocket
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    #187: Actually syndicates have successfully fought works of parody against their comics, namely ones whose creators didn’t even stand to gain any money from them:

    http://wondermark.com/tcsd/stripdoc_12.html

    But Pearls is backed by a syndicate of its own, with its own expensive legal team, so I guess they figure they can get away with it. “Why don’t you pick on somebody smaller than you?” seems to be the challenge here.

  198. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    #144 commodorejohn

    I swear I think I hear Geddy Lee in there.

    “Ahhhhhh Salesman!”

  199. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    FW – Maybe Bull should choose a name that emphasizes the spirit of individuality – The Orange Anals.

    “There’s no team in eye work, you know.”
    – Optomistrist credo.

  200. Jamus The Bartender
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    FOOB:
    Okay, fellahs…
    Unless you want Elly to rip your lungs out, John, and Anthony, if you ever wanna see Liz naked ever, you should both go in and at least offer to help with the wedding.
    Now, I know, I know, you’ll both screw it up and the women will say, “Oh, here, let me do it”, just like when you make love, but at least this way, they won’t go into an insane rage, a la Lois Griffin or Sis The Bartender at Christmastime, and say things like ” I suppose you think all this shit happens by magic. The caterers, the dress, the cake, all of it….there’s invitations to be sent out…” and so on and so forth.
    Wedding plans just make themselves, indeed.

  201. Josh
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    #197 Steve the Pocket — I have it on fairly good authority that the Dysfunctional Family Circus was not brought down by lawyers, but rather Bil Keane himself contacting the Web master and personally requesting an end to it. Bil K. is generally a good sport about FC parodies (he reportedly has a vast collection of them, actually) but apparently the DFC got so nasty that it began to really rub him the wrong way. The DFC guy (sorry, can’t remember his name) reportedly said that he was impressed that Bil contacted him personally and phrased his request as a request and not as a legal diktat, and decided to honor his request (also knowing full well that the archives would drift around the net forever).

    I admit that I don’t have first-hand knowledge of this stuff, but I do have fairly firm second-hand knowledge (i.e. I heard it from one of the DFC insiders who was privy to it, or at least someone who claimed to be such).

    Josh

  202. a.cobb
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    did anyone else misread Blondie today?

  203. Uncle Balustrade
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    I’m a bit buzzed and didn’t have my glasses on, but at first glance, I read the label on Ziggy’s dog food bag as “Pet Cthulu”.

  204. Mooncattie
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    Hello Folks!

    Back on March 7th, Josh was kind enough to host a Comics Curmudgeon dinner in Tucson. I was delighted to be there, and enjoyed meeting lots of great people that evening as part of an overall wonderful holiday in the Southwestern USA.

    I brought along a camera to document the festivities, and the resulting three somewhat scratchy video clips which I am linking here give some idea as to how much fun we all had, or at least how much drinking the cameraman was engaged in.

    Besides Josh, there are on-camera appearances from Mountain Mama, bats:[, KT, Bob Weber Jr., and a cameo from Amber (Ms. Josh). There were many more at the table who aren’t featured here – suffice to say that these were the best of the recordings!

    My apologies for taking 4 months to get these posted. Well, if we lived in Judge Parker, it would be about three and a half days! And we wouldn’t have been laughing so much. Enjoy!

    Part One – Josh and Bob Weber Jr. discuss Slylock Fox lowlifes such as Reeky Rat, while a naive Mooncattie learns what Tweaking is.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqarTljseDQ

    Part Two – Josh’s big speech!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K4fX1IvR7g

    Part Three – On the subject of Mister Keane, Comic Spoofs, and speculation about Cassandra Cat…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAe46bsSHew

  205. AeroSquid
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: Why you should never by pet supplies in a hardware store:

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3097/2659132301_c3ce56e840_o.jpg

  206. PeteMoss
    July 11th, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    205> AeroSquid
    Masky McDeath, damn you! Why would you let Ziggy live?

  207. AeroSquid
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

  208. gnome de blog
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    164, Jennifer:

    Well, I – I think that …- if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?
    - Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz

    Sorry, have to disagree (not that I haven’t said this before). Elizabeth marrying Anthony is the logical conclusion of everything Lynn’s been about for the last 30 years. It was painfully evident, even during the Therese digression, that the trainwreck has been on the tracks all along.

    As I see it, the problem isn’t so much that Lynn insisted on a fairytale ending, but that she went about it in such a hackneyed, contrived way. All of the roadblocks she introduced were transparently insincere.

    I think the best you can say about Lynn Johnston is that she has actually made a lot of people care about a bunch of petty, spiteful, insipid characters who have few if any redeeming qualities. That’s she can do that while limiting herself to cliches, sentimentality, bathos and clumsy plot devices is quite a remarkable achievement.

    I’m reminded of what one critic said about James Jones’ From Here to Eternity: that it was either the best bad novel or the worst good novel ever written.

  209. Not Kewl
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    MW:

    I could not get it out of my head that a narrator is required for the last panel

    Mary’s thought balloon: “Ah, the Bum Boat…”
    Narrator: Mary’s anal sphincter twitched in anticipation
    Mary’s thought balloon: “So many fond memories…”

    What is WRONG with me??

  210. AeroSquid
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

  211. bats :[
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    204. Mooncattie: worth the wait! Josh lives!

    205. AeroSquid: is that Masky McDeath back there?

  212. AeroSquid
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    211. bats :[ yes! And your pork chop sammich is ready !

  213. Red Greenback
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    Orange Beaver Teeth

  214. GarrisonSkunk
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    Looking back on Tuesday’s PBS, I just noticed the Croc licking his snout in anticipation of a Jeffyburger. :)

  215. Cedar
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    I know a lot of people here got interested in Mary Worth through the blog, but I’ve been reading it for years, as my mom is a huge fan. When I went off to college, I stayed current on FOOB and MW to discuss them with her. Although I wouldn’t call my mom a snarker, she does enjoying mocking both strips. Imagine my surprise when she emails me a link this blog, and says, “You’ve got to read the quote at the top, the ‘warm poopy’ one! This site is hysterical!”

    Slightly alarmed, I asked her how she found this place, and she said, “I did a google search for ‘Mary Worth,’ ‘Old,’ and ‘Ugly.’”

    So congrats, Spider-Brick. Your comment totally cracked my mom up.

  216. IagoPogo
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    Re: Number 9 (oops, it’s really # 23)
    Maybe it’s just me, but I enjoyed reading the last panel of FOOB on its own, out of context. If there is a community creating hot gay FOOB fanfic out there somewhere, this panel will be their Abbey Road cover.

    glassonion, I laughed out loud! Then I laughed again, and scrolled down to enter a reply, w/o reading the rest of the comments to see if anyone else appreciated your sardonic wit. You’ve got my vote for COTW, if that counts for anything…

    Thanks, Mo, and I hope we passed the audition!

  217. F. Cecious Lee
    July 11th, 2008 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    The comments about FW remind me of a joke I read in Boy’s Life a long time ago.

    Johnny was asked to use marmalade in a riddle.

    Q. What did the little chick say when he saw his mother sitting on a piece of citrus?

    A. Look at the orange mamma laid

  218. Saluki
    July 11th, 2008 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    Dear Mr. Pastis,

    It now being apparent that you at least occasionally visit this site may I suggest a character to you.

    Since most of the inhabitants of your strip are of the non-human animal variety you might want to have a recurring Saluki as a character. They are very easy to draw (just look at Southern Illinois’ logo – basically a sock puppet) and being fast hunting dogs they could also show up the Crocs.

    Thank you for your time,
    Saluki

  219. BakNBlack
    July 11th, 2008 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    GT : I’d probably screw up too if I knew that sitting behind me, staring at me as I batted, was what appeared to be an overweight Duke Nukem. He’s in town to kick ass and watch baseball, and now he’s all out of baseball.

  220. Alfred E. Neuman
    July 11th, 2008 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    #154, 182 Galuaboy Re: JP— I’m sure that the venerable legal firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe could answer your PBS copyright question. I’m surprised that Wilson & Barreto are recycling an old Three Stooges joke. Do I predict that subsequent JP strips will feature pies in the face and eye pokes, accompanied by a bunch of nyuk-nyuks? Soitainly!

  221. Andy Panderer
    July 11th, 2008 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    The only thing that would make Masky McDeath better is if it was in fact Woody Allen in the robot costume from “Sleeper.”

    And by better I mean “even more disturbing.”

  222. Ktrout
    July 11th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    Josh’s penis captions on today’s Foob are all the more pertinent when we notice the blatant phallic imagery of the first panel, where John is grasping a floppy, flaccid, dripping hose.

  223. commodorejohn
    July 11th, 2008 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    #220 Alfred E. Neuman – Well, that terrorist-tackle bit a few weeks back was nearly Stooge-caliber, so let’s hope…

  224. Slylock Foxy
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    Didn’t Rex Morgan once feature a Sunday comic in which (it was generally agreed) golf served as an endlessly extended metaphor for gay sex? For the sake of my sanity, I’m assuming Judge Parker is setting up a similar double entendre, because otherwise there is no conceivable reason why Sam should be mentioning golf clubs in every damn strip.

  225. Anonymous
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    #176 et al – In the PBS collection I have, I specifically recall Pastis mentioning how he contacted Patrick McDonnell to ask if he could use Mooch and Earl. Also in that collection was when the roach kidnapped Cathy for basically being an idiot. The impression I got from that was that he contacted the people whom he respected and was going to use their characters in a fairly light-hearted manner. Though I do remember that he had to edit the original strips featuring Cathy because the syndicate feared trouble. So I took it that he had not contacted them beforehand. In the end, I would be very surprised if Batiuk had actually allowed Pastis to use Masky McDeath had he been asked about it. Keane less so, but I don’t think he’d be thrilled with the continuing mockage of Jeffy.

  226. Tweeks_Coffee
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Oops, #225 was me. Guess I hadn’t posted on the new comp yet.

  227. Marzipan
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    Maybe there’s something to Kelly Welly’s asymmetrical ocular seduction after all. What if Paris Hilton has finally succeeded in making wonk-eyed domineering whores the ultimate object of lust? Is our rugged outdoorsy eunuch immune to such ophthalmic wiles?

  228. Doug Puthoff
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    More on GT–

    The Milford (Milfold?) football team sucked, and neither the basketball nor the baseball team made the postseason–whatever the fark Rubin calls it now. If Gil lived in a red state, he’d be lynched right now.

  229. dick bowser's ghost
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    gotta be the weakest blog in the world. seriously, please stop with this brain numbing shit. oh wait, here it comes: your “funny” and “ironic” attack on me. jeez. I hope to “god” that I never end up like you.

  230. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    What? Ant’ny isn’t proposing to run off and elope with John Patterson? Dang. FOOB was just starting to look interesting.

  231. Flying Ace
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Wow, the shrimp scampi lead-in really seems to be getting played up in MW. I can only hope this leads to a very special Norwalk virus story line…

  232. bats :[
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    231. Flying Ace: will this be another case for Count Morgu, Medical Examiner?
    (ohpleaseohpleaseohplease)

  233. Pepperoni Détournées
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    225: they say it’s easier to get forgiveness than permission…

  234. Josh
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    #229 — Wait, Dick Bowser? Dick Bowser, the man who developed the tram system for the St. Louis Arch? Sir, I would never dream of attacking you. Your work speaks for itself.

    Josh

  235. ChattyGenes
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    #215 Cedar. Your comment gave me the biggest BWA-HA-HA I’ve had today. To think of your mom finding this site and alerting YOU to it!

    So, you gonna ‘fess up to her?:-)

    Good heavens! Haven’t you given yourself away already? What if she keeps reading this site and sees what you wrote?!

  236. Krazy Kat
    July 11th, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy’s dog food was made right here in good ol’ South Carolina by Diamond pet food.
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10807001/

  237. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    #204 Mooncattie,
    Thanks for the utub links. Seems to have been a pretty lively discussion.

    I had never seen Bob Weber Jr before. Looks kind of like a young Stephen King.

  238. AeroSquid
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

  239. commodorejohn
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    #237 Artist Formerly Known As Ben – Stephen King, you think? I saw him as Rick Moranis in Honey, I Shrunk The Kids, but maybe that’s just me. At any rate, the videos are absolutely hilarious, especially Josh’s shirt.

  240. gleeb
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    145: I think you mean to address me, not Niall. Anyway, all that prescriptivism was just a game, as I’m sure y’all could tell. But for a dead-on-the-Earth cliche like McDowner uses here, we might as well use the original spelling. It doesn’t make it good writing, but at least it isn’t a dog’s breakfast of styles.

    Goodness, McDowner is a bad writer.

  241. Muffaroo
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Wow! Who knew an infodump could be so boring?

    DT – A friend of mine, now gone, once looked at a comic book I was drawing and analyzed the characters. “This one’s an idiot,” he said. “So’s this one, and this one.” I was fascinated and asked how he could tell. “The back of their heads are flat,” he said. And I learned something, and paid some attention to the shape of the skull after that. Anyway, on to Dick Tracy. This one’s an idiot, and so’s this one.

    FC – Dolly attempts to exorcise the unclean spirit “Not Me” from her helpless brother.

    FW – [Wally Winkerbean beat me to it @93. Only his was better.]

    MT – Kelly Welly still has her eyes on the prize. Two prizes.

    Marmaduke – “I was just going to ask you the same thing, Winslow!”

    MW – “The Bum Boat! You’ll come for the overcooked fish, and stay for the half-baked drama.”

    OBH – Rictus? It nearly killed us!

  242. Mariko
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    A righteous keying? No, with a face like that,Jack is going for a bit of the old ultraviolence. He’ll call in a few of his droogs, and they’ll proceed to mercilessly beat the stoned trio. Then, when Margo inevitably arrives in the alley, she’ll be so attracted by what she viddies that they’ll go for a bit of the old in-out, in-out right there.

    Or our druggie friends will actually act like they’re under the influence of something. I figure both options are about as likely.

  243. anthom
    July 11th, 2008 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    Hell, I’m just relieved the dog food isn’t talking to Ziggy.

  244. P
    July 12th, 2008 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    FC: This same strip was done back in the 70′s, only Jeffy was speaking, and everybody was in their church clothes.

  245. LTBF
    July 12th, 2008 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    Vomit alert in Saturday’s Foob.

    Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  246. loki_skywalker
    July 12th, 2008 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    You know, I’m almost all the way through this blog’s archives and this is only the second time I’ve seen Milford win a game.

  247. Stranger
    July 12th, 2008 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    FW:
    Orange Crushers
    Orange Juicers
    Orange Peels
    Orange Julius
    Orange Shirts
    Orange you worried I’m underage?

    And has Judge Parker just repeated the SAME LINES all week??

  248. Xenarthral
    July 12th, 2008 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    Iorne,
    Personally, I’m less concerned with the idea that
    “møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…” and more
    with the fact that elge/älgar are bloody big animals
    with horns and hooves and will use them if provoked.

  249. Sheila Sternwell
    July 12th, 2008 at 5:58 am [Reply]

    #86 Sparky – My dad was like 97 years old (okay, 43) when he married my mom, and he always called his mother-in-law “Mrs. Lefler” out of respect. It’s an old-fashioned custom and something I suspect we’ll see mentioned in “Pluggers” one day. Lynn seems to be really enamored of the idea of “traditional values” so I’m sure that, to her, “Dr. P” is both traditional AND hip. You know, like suspenders.

  250. Sequitur
    July 12th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    #238 AeroSquid:
    Now that’s fresh shrimp!

  251. Aaron T.
    July 12th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    It looks like Ziggy accidentally fed his dog Petchow brand Rat Poison!

  252. zooby
    July 12th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    If only we could get this moose to do something other than stand there!

    Things you could get that moose to do:

    - tell some jokes.
    - make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
    - his softshoe routine.
    - stand there. Because he is a MOOSE and that’s what they DO!

  253. Sequitur
    July 12th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    MT: I think Kelly has been watching too much “Rocky and Bullwinkle.” She expects a moose to say stupid/clever things. “Hey Rocky! Watch me trample Kelly into the ground!”

  254. Slylock Foxy
    July 12th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    #253: But that trick never works!

  255. Ari
    July 12th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    245: Hmmm. For the first three panels, I’d agree with you. In the 4th, though, with just a tiny bit more menace, I could buy that one. John’s looking too casual to really carry the threat home, and there’s probably no universe where I could buy an ‘or else’ coming from him, but it *almost* works. He is a dentist after all. Ever read Marathon Man? :)

  256. KidLitFan
    July 12th, 2008 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    A Ziggy reference only 16 months out of date. Could this be the beginning of the new reign of topical satire in the Ziggyverse?

    Well played, Tom Wilson, well played.

  257. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    July 12th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    I think Ziggy purposefully ignored the pet food recall. The dog brought him joy, and he’s not supposed to be happy so he had to kill it.

  258. The Ghost of Jarrod
    July 12th, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    Ever read Marathon Man? :)

    Is it safe?

  259. car
    July 12th, 2008 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    I still don’t understand why Anthony’s mustache is suddenly gone, unless the plan really is to make everyone look like John. Poor Connie was just the first in line.

  260. anonymous
    July 12th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Mary could always drop by the senior citizens center for a $2.50 meal, not that she’s hurting for money. My mom worked for her church at one of these places and said she never saw such greedy vultures. They pulled up in their Cadillacs, the old women in their fur coats, and they stuffed everything edible they possibly could into their (probably plastic-lined) purses!

  261. car
    July 12th, 2008 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    So I’m looking for the loss of the mustache, and I’m struck by how much Anthony is NOT in the strip, given that this wedding is the biggest thing ever and going to wrap up everyone’s arc in a nice little coordinated bow. The last time he showed up before this is early June, bare-faced, but it was the Woodstock comment so the horror of that overshadowed the lack of facial hair. Before that, holy cow, he doesn’t show up until mid-March, also, um, without ‘stache. How did I miss this for so long? Crap, it’s so burned into my brain it’s been gone for almost a year and I haven’t noticed. But still – once in June, before that March? And this is the big storyline and there’s a big wedding?

  262. Anonymous
    July 12th, 2008 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    I must be such a sap. I still thought the Lisa story arc was sad and the ending well-handled and effective. I didn’t like PBS riffing on it, but then I don’t generally like PBS anyway.

  263. car
    July 12th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    Mustache last seen on May 3, 2007, during discussion about Shawna-Marie’s wedding. It is gone at the wedding when he appears there on June 12, 2007. I don’t know why I needed to find this out, nor why it took me until now to notice.

  264. Kiesha
    July 13th, 2008 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    You know, I’m getting married in just a little over three months. In fact, I’m having my first wedding shower in about six hours. I’ve been planning my wedding since January and we’re right on target. It’s been eerily easy. I’m waiting for something catastrophic to happen, like the venue burns down or the caterer has to shut down due to a salmonella incident.

    I don’t say this to brag, but to illustrate the point that if you’re planning a wedding in a month, maybe you shouldn’t waste your time with chair covers and place cards. I’ve been working for the past seven months on my wedding and the thought of having those two things has never once entered my mind.

  265. Dalrint
    July 13th, 2008 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    I realize that by asking this question I am certifying that I am mentally unstable and drafting you all to help me commit a form of internal brain-suicide…but…

    Is there anywhere on the internet I could find an archive of the soap opera comics from the last few years? Like Apartment 3g and Mark Trail, specifically?

    I have a horrible urge to try and read them straight through as much as I can and see if I survive…

  266. Antiquated Tory
    July 13th, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    So, Judge Parker is actually using the Dewey, Cheatham and Howe joke?

  267. Uncle Lumpy
    July 13th, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    #265 Dalrint –

    The excellent Comic Strip Archive has what you need.

  268. WhateverAndEver
    July 16th, 2008 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    All this, and noone has supposed that Kelly Welly is descended from Jack Elam?

  269. Shalomi
    July 18th, 2008 at 4:19 am [Reply]

    Yeah, i guess it’s pretty well played until you realize that, like every Pearls strip ever made, it’s about as subtle as being raped with a broom handle. Also like every Pearls strip ever made, there is no joke. Just an obscure referenced accompanied with a flat delivery.

Comments are closed for this post.