The Comics Curmudgeon

Main content:

Tuesday one-liners

Apartment 3-G, 10/7/08

Haley is so weak from dope-sickness that she can’t even sigh aloud; she can only think the word “sigh.”

Baldo, 10/7/08

Baldo’s sexual services only merit a B-.

Luann, 10/7/08

To everyone who’s been writing to Greg Evans and United Features Syndicate demanding to see Brad’s nipples: I hope you’re happy now, you bastards.

Pluggers, 10/7/08

A plugger moves through life leaving a trail of failure and economic ruin in his wake.

Beetle Bailey, 10/7/08

Otto has been “assigned” to Sarge’s “unit.”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 7, 2008 at 11:22 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Baldo, Beetle Bailey, Luann, Pluggers.

325 responses to “Tuesday one-liners”

Spunde
October 7th, 2008 at 11:26 am [Reply]

A plugger would die before letting Anton[/e/ia]’s House of Pork go out of business.

Then again, maybe some did, which is why it’s out of business.
Patrick
October 7th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

So now is it going to be weeks of Haley looking for dope, until some even more strung-out junkie shoots her? The plot is endless, like if a string of Charterstone residents kept buying trinkets on Enormoushop…and then dying. Oh, can that happen? Please?
Saluki
October 7th, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

I think what’s wrong over at Mary Worth land is that it appears to be raining black ink – and it is leaking in to Toby’s apartment!

Wow! This Brad and Toni storyline could start to get HOT! Then again it is Luann so Brad will probably be leaving with a case of blueballs.
Tweeks_Coffee
October 7th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Not much snark to be had today, this is all I got…

A3G: Boy, Haley actually looks pretty strung out in that last panel. God only knows what disastrous condition her drapes must be in.

Also; Thanks Josh for the nod and everyone else for all the nice words about my COTW yesterthread! It was the perfect boost to pretty depressing week.
Muffaroo
October 7th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

reposted from the next-to-last freaking post yesterthread, two minutes ago:

AD – Damn you, Steve Jobs, and your infernal time travel!

BBailey – I say we send Orville Snorkel to Iraq! Six months from now, we’ll all say, “The Sarge is working!”

DTracy – The henchman — whose name is probably I. Patch — is thinking, “YOUR feelings were hurt? At least your ass is behind you, where it belongs!” Considering how long “Braces” has been talking about this, we’ll probably find out that his real name is X. Position.

FCircus – Looks like the eight-inch-tall Dolly is climbing up her dresser to see if anything was left there in the night by the Neck Fairy.

HtHorrible – “Have you checked the price of oil lately?” Have you checked any history books lately? Nobody poured hot oil on anybody before, say, the Addams family. They did sometimes dump the chamber pots on foes — as far as I know, the price of that is holding steady.

Those Two Guys – So Ernie drives a “TAXI” and wears a cap labeled “CAB.” I guess this is to draw attention away from the double specific that he’s the cab driver from “It’s a Wonderful Life” crossed with the Muppet of the same name.

MWorth – Today’s strip is guest-written by Steve Ditko. Notice how the lies Ian and Toby tell each other stain their faces permanently, like a hideous, inky blotch. They’re fatally compromised now, and Mr. A will watch them tumble to their doom with no emotion whatsoever.

Momma – EEGAH! Funny today!!

MG&Grimm – Today’s joke is a special tribute to Science Made Stupid by Michael Weldon.

Nancy – Now I have the strangest craving for the great taste of Coke.

Pluggers – A plugger’s cupboard is a trophy case of failure.

RMMD – “…I’m too embarrassed to show my face!” “That’s easy to fix. Just shave your wrinkled ass, drop trou, and walk backwards.”
commodorejohn
October 7th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

9CL – WOULD YOU TWO JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY

A3G – Hey, don’t feel so down, Haley. I think that’s how Alan would’ve wanted it.

Curtis – Um, Curtis, technically you should make an actual joke before you go laughing at it. As it is, you’re just coming off like a sexist asshole, such that I’m pretty much rooting for you to get run through with Michelle’s weapon.

DT – His feelings were hurt? I haven’t been this excited for a villain since the Shocker.

FC – Dolly Keane: Comical Midget.

FW – Funky, protip: making promises on behalf of other people is not a good way to improve your relations with them.

GF – Look, Conley, having your characters interact as themselves is funny. Having them interact as sock-puppets for your political views isn’t. (See also: Mallard Fillmore.)

GT – Hoo boy.

Lio – Hey, certain violinists like video game music (my brother among them.)

Luann – Evans, if you don’t actually follow through on this, I swear to God that when I take over the world, you’re going to be the first person against the wall. The very first, do you hear me?

MT – Oh man, panel one is far and away the most wonderful thing in today’s funnies. You know what I’d like? I’d like this strip on a poster. I’d hang it on my wall in full view of everyone who came to visit, and they’d all say “oh my God, that is the most wonderful thing ever!”

MW – I’m trying to comprehend panel two as “dramatic lighting,” but…no. No, shadows do not work that way. Obviously, they have whatever stupid Movie Ailment was afflicting Dr. Doom in the Fantastic Four movie, and their skin is peeling off to reveal the metal underneath.

PBS – Fable is right, this is wonderful. Rat’s cap seems to have vanished between panels two and three, though.

Phantom – Panel two is just screaming “text/graphics adventure game from 1985″ to me. I hope the doctor remembered to fish the cheese out of the mousehole before leaving.

Popeye – Popeye, you are making it very hard for me to not interpret Swee’Pea’s behavior as gender dysphoria. And although I do not have any fundamental objections to that issue being addressed in the funnies, I don’t think anybody wants the discussion to take place in Popeye.

SM – I hope we see further use of this trope in Spider-Man. “There’s no way I’m dressing in drag to convince Jameson and Maria to make up!” *spinning-camera transition* “I can’t believe I’m dressing in drag to convince Jameson and Maria to make up!”

Zits – Welcome to 1997, Borgman and Scott. Don’t forget to check out that awesome new James Bond game while you’re here.
Lorna Doonsbury
October 7th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

As Dagwood Bumstead prepares to nosh into a sandwich of enormous proportions, a head pops suddenly out from under the table and yells, “ACK!” As the sandwich crumbles and dissipates into its numerous primal ingredients, a slight chuckle is discerned trailing down the hallway. A food drenched Dagwood lies helpless on the kitchen floor while Daisy looks on in shock.
Nekrotzar
October 7th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

Every place I’ve worked prior to my current job has ceased to exist. And I have schwag from all of them. I guess the only thing separating me from being a plugger is the fact that none of my employers’ names ever contained the syllable ‘mart’.
Chris Opperman
October 7th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

I hope that firefighter just fucks LuAnn already…I mean does she have to do EVERYTHING herself?
Dingo
October 7th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

I hadn’t written any letters asking to see Brad’s nipples but I’m very happy anyway. Now if they’ll just honor my request to have Luann walk in on him and Toni with her wearing a strap-on and her brother making a face like Karl Rove on a Tilt-a-Whirl, I’ll achieve limerance.
True Fable
October 7th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

I want to see Haley get all messed up and take Luann hostage in order to make Margo find and bring Alan’s dope to her. But of course Margo will be all like, “Pffft, I wouldn’t give you an aspirin for that airhead” and then Haley will get just ALL fucked up and start shooting people but wait she doesn’t have a gun but hey, she’s in an art studio so she can get the airbrush gun and scramble whatever’s rolling around inside Luann’s skull.

Yes, I just ate a Payday bar and now I’m paying a heavy price with the sugar rush. I’m a bad boy.

Spank me. >:D
Niall
October 7th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

Luann: Brad will be like me in that situation: unable to even think that this could lead to something fun (while only two of us in secluded place with clothes coming off) and therefore not having any fun at all. But then, I’m in real life, and he’s supposed to be living our fantasy lives vicariously, no? But then, I have either cruel fate or empty randomness to blame for my remaining single, while Brad has the Syndicates keeping him eternally single.

I think I have the better hand here, actually.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
October 7th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

A day late, a dollar short… but congratulations, Josh, on your hot-hot-hotness. This is shaping up to be a banner year, amigo! And if I haven’t said it lately, thanks for the fun that you generate, both good and fast, week after week, ala that sunken salt-grinding mill.

And congratulations to an especially talented bunch of COTWers: good snark, people!

Luann: Strip always delivers teh goofy. Is that just a hint of iliac crest Brad’s sporting, there? Who knew he was a tubular pillar of ripped studliness? Not me!
B
October 7th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

My dad has a collection of mugs like that. He’s a banker. Oh crap, is my dad a plugger?
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
October 7th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

MT: Oh… my… gawd. Most inept alligator evah! Hahahahaha! Truly an Elrod masterpiece.
Little Guy
October 7th, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

Yester44: *Squeal!* Hail Galactic Emperor Chennux®™©!

Luann: Only if Barreto swaps with Evans.
PeteMoss
October 7th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

Curtis – Panel 1. I’m almost certain Mr. Billingsley did not intend for it to appear as if Michelle is doing what she appears to be doing to Curtis in panel 1. I won’t even consider the expression on Curtis’ face in panel 2 as proof of his intentions.
PeteMoss
October 7th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

Pluggers –
I think Anton’s House of Pork was actually a Day Spa where the Plugger worked cleaning out the hair in the Jacuzzi’s filter.
gh
October 7th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Woops! New thread. Anyhoo, re yesterthread:

Josh is back! And he brought Ces! Pull up a chair, Ces! I’ve been loving medium-large of late and the vlogs.

#44 Überlord Chennux, Your Multi-Dimensionalness –

Have you considered having that photo air-brushed on the side of Tarzana Nights? It might lull the unsuspecting ~~hors d’oeuvres~~ subjects-to-be into a false sense of complacency. What harm could possibly come from such cuteness?
Sequitur
October 7th, 2008 at 11:58 am [Reply]

MT: “GET AWAY, YOU MONSTER – GET!”
Studies have shown that is what 9 out of 10 people would say when about to get chomped on by a ‘gator.
Justafoob
October 7th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

Elly is crying because she knows how much money should could have if J-Rod would just die.

Fat Bastard.
Sequitur
October 7th, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

#21 Justafoob
It’s also a Chardonnay
http://volunteer.blogs.com/winewaves/2006/12/thierry_and_guy.html
ka-pwingg
October 7th, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

It’s the Ian and Toby Cameron Minstrel Show!
Old School Allie Cat
October 7th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

Pluggers – back in the dotcom boom/bust, I ended up with a lot of “embroidered logo” shirts from failed companies. At one point, I threatened to sew a “failure quilt” using said shirts.

But I can’t sew, which I guess means I’m no Plugger!

Whew!

Luann – Brad, if you don’t take this opportunity, I’ll be very, very disappointed. Show Toni your fire hose and she’ll show you her hydrants.

AG3 – Haley, if Margo catches you, Ray won’t be the only one doing time for murder.
lovetoykilljoy
October 7th, 2008 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

And I was just watching a porno with a fireman fantasy. Now I’m all worked up again.
Occipital Lobe
October 7th, 2008 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

#9 – Please Chris, when you mention “firefighter” and the name “LuAnn” in the same sentence, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HUMANE, specify which strip you’re referring to …
Brick Bradford
October 7th, 2008 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

#5 Muffaroo–Mary Worth written by Steve Ditko? Genius. Sheer genius. Imagine what a b—-”Mary W” would be. Imagine the body count as meddling gives way to more direct action, and all the morally compromised defectives who come her way join Aldo at the bottom of Mary W’s Cliff of Just Deserts.
Mac
October 7th, 2008 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

Stan Lee is taunting us. A clock theft?
trey le parc
October 7th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

Luann: Today we get yet another strip where Toni appears and Brad still has his pants on.

Greg, Greg, Greg, in real life Brad would have spackled that girl’s face to the couch the moment she pursed her pouty lips and brandished that razor. I know you can’t really show that, though.
Dingo
October 7th, 2008 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

Brick Bradford, I love you and want to bear your children!

Mary Worth’s Cliff of Just Deserts sounds like a great vacation spot.
Bribaby
October 7th, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

Is that really Brad in the little screen on Toni’s camera? To me it looks like Stephanie Powers circa 1977. I wonder who Brad will see when he does Toni.

And while I’m hallucinating celebrities, I’ll pitch in that in Haley I see elements of Cher, the Mona Lisa, and Dick Cavett. I guess a high forehead isn’t always a sign of intelligence.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
October 7th, 2008 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

[b]Luann[/b]: At leasts Brad HAS nipples, unlike most comic characters.
smacky
October 7th, 2008 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

“A plugger moves through life leaving a trail of failure and economic ruin in his wake.”

Are pluggers CEOs? Because they do the same thing!
migellito
October 7th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

So, Brad is shirtless and posing for the woman he wants, and it’s her idea, and she’s very enthusiastic about it. And Brad’s angry. I genuinely though Brad was supposed to be a sympathetic character, but I’m just continually annoyed and frustrated with him, and not in a comical way. His brain just doesn’t work right, and it’s making me angry.

I still can’t believe Alan is dead in 3G. Hasn’t that character been around, virtually unchanged, since the early 1960’s? Wow. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he’s dead. I think Crackhead Ray deserves an award of some kind. I doubt this is the intended emotional residue of the event, but there you have it.

On the other hand, I actually laughed out loud at Mary Worth today. It was due entirely to my own internal additions to the dialogue, but it’s better than being actively pissed off by the dialogue in a humor strip. “Toby, what’s wrong? Oh Ian.. I spilled ink all over my face.. and now it’s all over you too! /cry” hahaha
Jay
October 7th, 2008 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

Is it just me, or did anyone else read “House of Pork” as “House of Porn” at first?
gh
October 7th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

What’s that thing called that sets up an endless feedback loop that eventually becomes so painful people run screaming from the room? Oh, right. Dick Tracy.

Here’s a tip, Braces. While it’s true revenge is best served cold, absolute zero has never in fact been reached. So stop trying.
Calico
October 7th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

Blondie – Here’s to more cheeseballs and whine in ‘09!

MT – Um, Mark, have you thought about what might happen if you let go of that stick?
Fra. Bunnë of the execrable order of the curmudgeonites.
October 7th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

Luann: I think with eyebrows that thick, we should have seen a little chest hair. But that’s me. I tend to think anything could be improved with a little more chest hair. I said the same thing about the Care Bears Movie.
Down with OPP!
October 7th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

Say what you will about Pluggers, but Anton’s is the only place from which I’m willing to get my porn. Wait, what? It says “pork” and not “porn”? Well, now what the hell does that mean?
Ethan Shuster
October 7th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

Today’s Luann makes use of Plot Set-Up #12 from “The Pornographic Filmmaker’s Handbook”.
Perky Bird
October 7th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

Get jiggy with that alligator, Evil Developer Lady! Shake that booty! Work it, girlfriend! Shake shake shake!
CBrachyrhynchos
October 7th, 2008 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

Am I the only person who thought that Brad was posing for the naked clown calendar and parked his miniature firetruck just off-frame?

Or are his lips auditioning for a minor thug role in Dick Tracy?
Fra. Bunnë of the execrable order of the curmudgeonites.
October 7th, 2008 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

A3G: So I’ve been thinking about this angle in which Margo’s business is confiscated by the government because Alan was dealing drugs out of it. Wouldn’t the police have to find a certain quantity of drugs on hand there, in order to confiscate? And if Alan had that quantity of drugs, he wouldn’t have been shot in the first place. Presumably any and all drug paraphernalia Alan had has already been licked clean (a scene I think should have been included in the comic). Is this level of logic inappropriate to the funny papers? Maybe I’m confusing A3G with Law & Order.
PeteMoss
October 7th, 2008 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Sarge. What a unit.
Bootsy
October 7th, 2008 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

I have seen Brad deGroot’s nipples. I’m typing the words. The sky is blue (well a litle cloudy), I’m still in my office. The earth and sun seem to be correctly oriented to each other. The air is warm (it’s the south, folks). Everyone and everything look the same, but I have seen Brad deGroot’s nipples. I, um, I don’t quite know how to have this information, and yet continue to live as before. It seems everything I know should be different now. Welcome back, Josh!

Yet I haven’t seen Pope Hotliness’ boxers (damn you, work firewall!). I have, however, seen a pic in which he is wearing his Greek Isles honeymoon blouse, so I do have that going for me.
Poppinjay
October 7th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

Somebody in Luann needs to have sex. Evans has danced all around it like a Russian weightlifter.

And what the F is going on in Curtis today? He’s walking away in the third panel, then telling Michelle how much he likes her sweat stink.
Spiderdude
October 7th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

Someone is stealing time?

Next it will be Newsweek.

Get a life.
Stroker Ace
October 7th, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

Bald’oh! ~ So in February we should expect a Halloween themed punchline? Oy.
Corporal Punishment
October 7th, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

Sarge and Otto are in one of those don’t ask don’t woof situations.

Doin it doggy style.

Weird thing is, Sarge is the top.
boojum
October 7th, 2008 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

A3G:

Oh, is there no end to the degradation and depravity caused by Dope ™? Trapped in its sinister coils, Haley today has forgotten to accessorize her cashmere twin set with the requisite strand of pearls. And don’t get me started on that colorless lip gloss!

I believe LuAnne, Tommie and Ruby are still in the studio. A catfight of epic proportions cannot be far behind. Ruby is going to drop Haley like third-period French.
gh
October 7th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

SlyFox

Now this is how Six Differences should work. As narrative! The guy’s mouth is different, making his expression all wtf?? because the tire is no longer flat and he’s wasting his time jacking up the car. It’s touches like these that keep me coming back. Well played, Mr. Bob Weber, Jr., sir!
Steve the Pocket
October 7th, 2008 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

Marvin: Ten-to-one this used to be a “gas” joke, and the editors made him change it.

Hi and Lois: “Bunk room”? It would be funnier if the room itself were split into two smaller levels, but I guess that would be hard to depict in a single still frame.
Dingo
October 7th, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

I agree with Li’l Bunnë FooFoo. With those furry caterpillaresque eyebrows, I expected Brad to open his shirt to a waft of billowing dark chest hair. He’s as hairless as Britney Spears’ talent. If Toni shaved him for the shoot, we should have seen that. Then she could have said, “Hmm… I should call the fire chief. I smell hard wood burning.”
yeff (Jeff Soesbe)
October 7th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

Things I didn’t need to see in the comics, Tuesday edition:

- Baldo’s kinky foreplay
- Brad and Toni’s kinky foreplay
- Sarge and Otto’s kinky foreplay.

TEH KINK! IT BURNS!

- yeff
yeff (Jeff Soesbe)
October 7th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

Croquet? Pork? CB?

I think a Plugger has some piss-poor luck choosing workplaces.

- yeff
gh
October 7th, 2008 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

MT —

I’m pretty sure that first panel is an allegory of Izod’s hostile takeover bid of Diane von Furstenberg. Diane, you’ll never make an impression on that gator with your citified speech. You have to holler ”GIT!!” like you mean it.
Bootsy
October 7th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

Dingo, sounds like you’ve given this Brad the fireman situation some serious thought.
Joe Blevins
October 7th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

A3G: If Alan were really a considerate junkie, he’d stipulate in his will that his body be cremated so that his survivors can snort the ashes.
fashion police
October 7th, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

50 boojum:
It’s okay to forego the pearls if you’re going for the declassé look, maybe with a gypsy skirt and mid-heel pumps. The pearls are a must if you’re going with torn jeans, though.
bats :[
October 7th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

11. True Fable: you just ate a Payday bar and didn’t offer me even one stinkin’ bite?!?

You deserve to be spanked!
Mars
October 7th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

“Be Mine-Us”…..ugh. Believe it or not I actually read a worse pun in the funnies today.

Teacher: “If you complete all your assignments, I’ll let you arrange the bulletin board this week.”
Teacher, to himself: “Always a great motivator, tacks incentives!!”

The strip that came from is actually non-syndicated and exclusive to the local paper. Ordinarily I’d applaud the paper’s guts for breaking the syndication racket, but….not this time.
Li\'l Bunnë FooFoo
October 7th, 2008 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

I picture Brad, with all his insecurities, being secretly embarrassed by the plumes of fine, dark hair spread up his chest like a wildfire. Every morning when he shaves, he shaves down past the collarline of his shirt. So maybe in advance of the shoot he drove to a Walgreen’s across town, put on a pair of dark sunglasses, and bought himself a bottle of Nair for Men. This explains the total absence of even a “treasure trail”.

Also, it saves Greg Evans the trouble of having to draw chest hair. It’s hard work drawing chest hair, people! But I do it, because I love it you.
Li\\\'l Bunnë FooFoo
October 7th, 2008 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

45, Bootsy

Can I nominate “I have seen Brad de Groot’s nipples” as a t-shirt? Would any of you buy that?
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 7th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

My new nickname is causing display problems… sorry.

I think I got it licked.
gh
October 7th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

NYCC –

True Fable, this one’s for you:

“But darling, think of the kids!”
Sans Sense
October 7th, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

Evan’s must be seriously conflicted about his relatively recent attempts to humanize bully brother Brad, otherwise he might not resemble Shrek so much. I think we saw a shirtless Shrek in one of those interminable sequels…
Muffaroo
October 7th, 2008 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

Li’l Bunnë FooFoo @64 – Be advised, you’ll need to fix it each and every time you post. That’s why ol’ Muffaroo has to keep coming up with nicknames that have no apostrophes in them — he’s lazy.

Hey, one of you kids run and get ol’ Muffaroo a cold, frosty one! There ya go.
DeGroot of all Evil
October 7th, 2008 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

Strangely, the only other person to have seen Brad’s nipples is Mr. Fogarty.

Those were some memorable Scouting trips.
Comcis Fan
October 7th, 2008 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

Glad you reacted as I did to Beetle Bailey today. Otto looks justifiably worried — not Buckyesque or Garfieldesque sarcastic, rather genuinely concerned for his person, er, dog.
Cranky
October 7th, 2008 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

Pluggers do not move through life.

Life does not move through Pluggers.

Pluggers sit, inert, while confusing and frightening and often nature-violating events occur around their sad man-animal hulks.
Muffaroo
October 7th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

gh @65 – I went with “Well… okay… but if you ever decide to come back, just yodel.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 7th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

– Same here… Ian…
– What’s wrong?
– I was marked by a demon, and cursed by a suffering Boar God. This dark stain will spread throughout my body and kill me. It’s working its way down from my scalp.
– Oh, fine, fine! Yeah, Chicago was pretty great, too.
Donkey Hotey
October 7th, 2008 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

#34 Migellito: I agree with you that there is something wrong with Brad DeGroot. (Really, for any other guy, the Bow-Chicka-Bow-Bow music should be starting right about now, but he’s going to screw it up somehow.) But I maintain that this situation is genetic; his little sister Luann doesn’t relate normally to members of the opposite sex either.
Donkey Hotey
October 7th, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Gaah! “Affliction,” not “situation.”

More coffee, please!
Gold-Digging Nanny
October 7th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

There’s just no pleasing you, is there, Josh? First you complain when there are no nipples. Then you complain when there are.
gh
October 7th, 2008 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

#71 Muffaroo –

“After all the sacrifices I’ve made!”

Huh?
Jesse Cline
October 7th, 2008 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Today’s Plugger’s joke is convoluted from an observation that is no longer funny because it had to be explained to make the joke clear to its inbred, illiterate readership who the writers think aren’t bright enough to get it.

*phew*
anadandy
October 7th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

#35: Not just you, Jay. I’m just glad someone else mentioned it first.
Niall
October 7th, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

I may have found someone with hair at least as bad as Sally Forth’s.

Agree/disagree?
PeteMoss
October 7th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

Niall @79
Reminds me a little of that monster in the Bugs Bunny cartoon after Bugs starts styling his hair.

On another note, no province deserves an exclamation point more than Saskatchewan!
Hogenmogen
October 7th, 2008 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

BB: Has anyone else noticed the sudden growth of furniture in panel 2?
Gold-Digging Nanny
October 7th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

gh 65: I used, “In their defense, the upholstery is pretty tasty.”
Poteet
October 7th, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

MT — “Thank heaven you were trespassing on our land and had the miraculous ability to stop Time itself long enough to find a long branch and keep that gator from biting my inches-away ass! I’m feeling so passionately grateful and totally turned on right now that I’d like to repay you by…why are you backing away with that terrified expression?”
Aesop
October 7th, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

A3G: After smoking quite a bit of dope, Haley has passed into the Gil Thorp universe – in the third panel, a phantom hand can be seen about to grope her.

Curtis: Due to the odd framing in the second panel, I was under the impression that Michelle had done away with Curtis once and for all.

MW: Ian: “What’s wrong, Toby?”
Toby: “Nothing that can’t wait! Well, besides an octopus covering our faces in black ink!”
Comcis Fan
October 7th, 2008 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

#81 Good catch! Maybe Otto repaired to another bed and Sarge screeched on over there.
gh
October 7th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

#82 Gold-Digging Nanny –

How about

“Baal will not be pleased.”

(I don’t even know what that means.)
Islamorada Girl
October 7th, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

79: Dear god, that’s some bad hair. She looks like a bus and truck tour of “Bram Stoker’s Dracula”. Thanks, Niall. I am going to have nightmares.
Muddtallica
October 7th, 2008 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

Woah, Haley appears to age about thirty years within three panels in today’s Apartment 3G; if that’s not an incentive to avoid becoming a campy, unconvincing dope fiend, then I don’t know what is. Just say no, kids!
Hogenmogen
October 7th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

A3G: Ray was caught red handed at the scene and confessed everything to the cops. Talk about phoning in a Rex Morgan solution to this crime.

DT: So how did Genesis Corp hurt Brace’s feelings? “We have reviewed your application for Director of Mad Scientists. Although your skills are impressive, we have no available positions for a person of your qualifications because Genesis is a rock band. We wish you success in your continued journey. Sincerely, Phil Collins.” But really, what kind of mad scientist is Braces anyway? He didn’t invent the robot, he just got one from some overseas manufacturer. No – please do not begin thinking about how a murderous robot can make it through customs – it will make your head implode.
Niall
October 7th, 2008 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

80. PeteMoss: if Oklahoma! can have on eexclamation, Saskatchewan!! needs at least two.

87. Islamorada Girl: I had to compile biography websites for all Ministers we deal with, so I had to look at a lot of photos. This one kinda… stood out. To avoid nightmares, I still have mead and pot still Irish whiskey back home. Who’s with me?
Angry Kem
October 7th, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

#79 Niall: How does she get her hair to do that? And does she use it as an assault weapon?

Why do I hate Curtis so much? It strikes me as one of the most obnoxious strips out there…and in a world containing Marvin and The Family Circus, that’s saying a lot. Curtis himself is an immensely irritating character. If I were Michelle and my annoying pint-sized stalker turned up at my door and made loud sexist comments (punctuated by guffaws) at me, I would do more than hint at my possession of a rapier.
Niall
October 7th, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

89. Hogenmogen: the really scary part is that your DT explanation will make more sense than the canon one.
Perky Bird
October 7th, 2008 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

# 86 gh–

“But you’re the perfect nanny for the job!”
WarOfTheBees
October 7th, 2008 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

The first panel of today’s Beetle Bailey showed the most sad and poignant scene I’ve ever seen on a comics page since Calvin and Hobbes.

I cannot believe I just said that.
Hogenmogen
October 7th, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

So we mock on Brad for not gettin’ any, but it’s been a long time since she doinked Dirk’s dinky. So she’s hanging out with about two dozen firemen and she’s a super-hottie, and she has no boyfriend or other social life aside from emasculating young Brad DeGroot. There really has to be more to this story, like the existence of a 12 horsepower vibro-wand in Toni’s bedroom.
Niall
October 7th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

(I must learn to Preview more often)

91. Angry Kem: Curtis, I have been assured, is worth a yearlong suffering for the Kwanzaa episodes. Except last year’s was a bit of a letdown, especially after the famed telepathic otter. But everyone agrees that if Billingsley let more of that side of himself loose, it’d make a kickass strip.

93. Perky Bird: I really like that one. Therefore it doesn’t have a chance. And, as always for a NY cartoon, “Christ, what an asshole” is still, again and forever applicable as a caption.

95. Hogenmogen: that, or a webcam. …make that and. (Did I just go there?..)
Sequitur
October 7th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

79 Niall

You’re right. Saskatchewan does have bad hair.
Oh, wait. Those are some kind of violet flowers. You must be talking about…eww!
Hogenmogen
October 7th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

The “she” referenced above is “Toni”, not some feminine reference to Brad.

Curtis: She really should take “home ecomomics”, but maybe Curtis could take “English” to learn “punctuation”.
gh
October 7th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

#93 Perky Bird –

Heh-heh!
lesles
October 7th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

A3G: the storyline i really want to see now, is alan and albert pinkham ryder ectoplasmically slugging it out over who gets to haunt the studio, before they settle into an after-life Odd Couple arrangement with hijinks.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 7th, 2008 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

Today, Marmaduke continues to run repeats from two years ago. It’s almost like they’ve chosen strips that are even more nonsensical than usual. I don’t usually get angry at the funny pages, but it does seem like a shame given all the aspiring cartoonists out there and the fact that the comics pages are hard to break into.
Sequitur
October 7th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

At least Sally can use the Jessica Rabbit excuse that she was drawn that way.
commodorejohn
October 7th, 2008 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

#96 Niall – I dunno, maybe it didn’t live up to the magnificent golden otter, but come on, loincloth-clad thieves making sweet love to were-buffalo, two-headed snakes, and wacky single-dad komedy make last year’s story clearly pretty awesome in its own right.
AmazingThor
October 7th, 2008 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

A3G: Ok, so someone calls 911 and says “I shot a guy.” And the call goes to Homicide. “He confessed, don’t bother us.” But he says he shot the guy because he COULDN’T find drugs. So immediately the alarm sounds in Narcotics and they rush to the scene. Taking this tactic to its natural conclusion, if I called the A3G police and said that my friend was selling drugs, Narco would stay put and Homicide would arrive to search for bodies that aren’t there. That’s good police work, Lou.

FC: Dolly is getting all Escher on us.

MT: Is it just me or have we yet to see one once of proof that the wetlands are being drained? Lush green plant life, plenty of animals running around, and pools of water as far as the eyes can see.
mafketis
October 7th, 2008 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

I though “But Alan would understand” was the funniest thing I’ve read in the comics in years.
It takes a really good person to laugh at Alan’s tragic death and the continuing downward spiral of dope fiend Haley.
I anticipate even more hilarity as she meets Luann. Haley will assume Luann’s doped out of her mind and try to find out who her supplier is and Luann will be impressed by Haley’s cool level headedness and goal-directed behavior.
Is it too much to ask for Haley to move in as their new roommate? She’s so much more fun than …. what’s her name? Tommie?
Perky Bird
October 7th, 2008 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

# 104 Amazing Thor:

Mark Trail: The evil developers are draining the wetlands!

Perky Bird: I do not think this word means what you think it means…
mafketis
October 7th, 2008 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

“There really has to be more to this story, like the existence of a 12 horsepower vibro-wand in Toni’s bedroom.”

No there doesn’t.
Daveh
October 7th, 2008 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

9CL- Mile High Club?

BB- that smile on Sarge’s face while he hugs the dog- Ubercreepy!
mafketis
October 7th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

“There really has to be more to this story, like the existence of a 12 horsepower vibro-wand in Toni’s bedroom.”

Oops disregard my previous comment I misread ‘like’ as ‘than’. I think I was too worked up by the thought of Toni and her vibro-wand.

Now I’m hoping the vibro-wand can be the subject of an upcoming very special story line. Let’s imagine the shape (very … realistic) color (black or purple, maybe black with purple stripes) what she calls it. I think she usually calls it “Trigger” but when she’s really feeling frisky …. “Josh”.
Jordan
October 7th, 2008 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Does Baldo’s papa have a job of some sort? Or does he just stand perpendicular to the front door all day talking to people out of his peripherals?
The Party Sim
October 7th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

#21: Hadn’t read FOOB in weeks, but your comment made me look. Even more horrifying than that strip is the New “coffee talk blog” policy — they are no longer allowing all comments to be posted, they’ll just cherry-pick one per week for LJ to answer. Of course it will be something glowing and awestruck. Vom.
commodorejohn
October 7th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

#111 The Party Sim – Well, it’s not like a whole lot of meaningful commentary got through before, anyway. Stephanie did let some of the snark and criticism through, but she seemed to have an unspoken minimum quota of slavering adoration to meet.
DeGroot of All Evil
October 7th, 2008 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

Which is more Plugger-like: to work at Ye Olde Croquet Shop, or Ye Olde Croquette Shop?

Croquet is a lawn game enjoyed with alcohol. That seems up Plugger alley.

A croquette is a ball of fried food, which is also Pluggeriffic. Either way, the Ye Oldeness of the cabinet points towards this Plugger residing somewhere near the Amish.
Sequitur
October 7th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

New Comic Alert!
The Dallas Morning News did indeed axe 14 comics. However, they did ADD one new comic. It’s called “The Argyle Sweater.” It’s drawn by a local Dallas area artist and is kind of like “The Far Side.” Check it out!

http://www.theargylesweater.com/
Little Guy
October 7th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

PBS: Next, take on ZombieFOOB, please.

Luann, again: This will end with Brad’s parents discovering Toni has disrobed… and what I mean is top button is unbuttoned. Mom DeGroot is all “Home Alone” hands to face while Dad DeGroot is arms akimbo and angry. Brad is forbidden to pose for the calendar and loses the $2000 in the process.

Fast forward to 2018, where a typical Luann comic strip is Brad being asked by his parents why he hasn’t produced grandkids for them.
Bootsy
October 7th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

# 79, Niall, hey thanks for the nightmare fodder! I am still getting used to having actually seen Brad de Groot’s nipples without my eyeballs bursting into flames.
queek
October 7th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

72: Miyazaki ref FTW! Probably my favorite one of the lot, although Spirited Away rocks socks as well.

114: by “kinda like the Far Side”, you mean “blatant rip-off to the point of plagerism”, yes?
Kaitlyn
October 7th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

At least Brad has nipples!

I’m finding Brad and Toni kinda cute now that Dirk’s out of the picture. I blame Bollywood. Watching Monsoon Wedding made me a romantic girly girl.
Kaitlyn
October 7th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

118 me – yes, Monsoon Wedding isn’t exactly Bollywood, but there were fifty or three romances and an amazing soundtrack and dancing and you try finding Bollywood movies in Memphis!

The one I have seen – Dil Se – has romance (and dancing) in it, but it um, er, well.
commodorejohn
October 7th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

#114 Sequitur – The Argyle Sweater is awful. Nearly all of the few strips that come close to being funny are ripped from The Far Side or another better strip, the art style is like a Gary Larson ripoff but profoundly visually offensive, and every single joke, stale or not, is buried under layers and layers of unnecessary wordage. Calling it “kind of like ‘The Far Side’” is like calling Eragon “kind of like ‘Star Wars’ or ‘The Lord Of The Rings.’”
Dingo
October 7th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Just a thought: if Ted Forth imagines himself dancing with Aria, who would wear the Stevie Nicks’ skirt and wave the tambourine? Aria looks the rockin’ biker chick type who’d have Ted strapped to a gurney administering ice water enemas quicker than a FOOB pun.
Poteet
October 7th, 2008 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

MW — “What’s wrong ?”

“Well, other than you looking like Jack Torrance in the penultimate scenes of the TV miniseries version of THE SHINING, nothing really, I guess. Except I also look like Jack. Eww.”
Sequitur
October 7th, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

#117 queek.

Yes. But so far, no cows.
dyslexic dog
October 7th, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

9CL – Quick, Amos, disappear! You don’t need an assault charge on top of everything else!

BB – Otto, the original Colorform dog.

Six Chix – Paging David Letterman: We have a new recurring comedy skit for you.

MW – The Purple Testament.

MT – Finally, the restored footage of Monty Python’s “Scene Missing”!

TG – Someday, maybe, this comic will be passable. For now, I’ll merely continue to appreciate the ramifications of its title.
crossbuck
October 7th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

A3G: First, congrats for actually making Haley look like a doper. Well, almost. Second, if she finds Alan had a stash, that means that Ray was right, and Alan deserved the bullet he ate. Holding out isn’t just a crime, it’s a mortal sin! And bad judgment when you’ve got an angry sick crackhead pointing a gun at you.
Dr. Weird
October 7th, 2008 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

Luann

Have we ever seen Toni’s hair from the side or behind before? Her ponytail goes down to her waist! While I certainly appreciate extra-long hair, it seems somewhat impractical for a firefighter or a motorhead.
Stephanie
October 7th, 2008 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Is it wrong that I think Brad actually looks kind of attractive? Like, maybe I’ve just got that gene in women that makes us hot for men in uniforms. Please let that be it.
crossbuck
October 7th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

Luann: I see that FireChick, although she finally learned what a bounce umbrella is for still has no idea where to aim them. Or they just keep moving around on their own. BTW, sweetie, don’t stand in front of the umbrellas while shooting unless you want to screw up your shots. I say give Brad the camera. Not that he’ll actually USE it, but after the modeling lights go out maybe they can actually have some fun.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 7th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

MW: Foreshadowing! Forehead shadowing! Forehead shadowing = foreshadowing!
Dingo
October 7th, 2008 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

Stephanie, it’s not wrong. And… it’s not restricted to females. For much of Luann, I viewed Brad as just the older brother jerk. Now… NOW… I’d light my grandmother’s house on fire just to watch him work. Then again, I’d have to bake cookies before setting the blaze so that I could offer him a reward for his efforts. More action than he gets with Toni, for sure.
Jessie
October 7th, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

How the hell is Otto even staying in that bed? He’s not in it, he’s floating over it or next to it or something oh god the perspective
Kirin
October 7th, 2008 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

I’m quite excited about seeing Brad’s upper body. Erm… I’m not entirely sure why. I was expecting a more hirsute Brad, though. I kinda think he’s cute, in a giant-eyebrowed, receeding-hairline way.
Steve S
October 7th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Why is it that all Apartment 3-G brunettes viewed from a certain angle look like ancient Gypsy women about to put a curse on somebody?
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 7th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Stephanie@127
I’m gonna say, no, no it’s not. I’ve been struggling with that same thought. Sure, Brad us supposed to be a dork and a shlub, but if I somehow find that appealing, then so what? I gotta be me. A shlubby-chaser.
Kirin
October 7th, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Double post, oops.

Is it wrong that I think Brad actually looks kind of attractive?

Is it possible for men to have that gene, too? Please?
PeteMoss
October 7th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

Phatom-
What a cool real estate feature! Whenever the wind blows through the trees near your house, the grove “whispers” your name! “PEEEEEEEEEEETE!” Way better than a doorbell. Except, it might cause some to urinate on my lawn.
Kaitlyn
October 7th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

126 Dr. Weird – impractical, maybe, but not impossible to put up.

Her hair looks straight and easily managed. I had a friend in ROTC with long, curly, messy hair. Every Wednesday, it was in a tight bun.

If she could pass uniform inspection, Toni can put her hair up at work.
Dingo
October 7th, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Let’s face it, if most of us were offered Tom Cruise or Luann’s Brad, we’d choose Brad.

#1) Not as high maintenance
#2) Tolerable in-laws and a free babysitter
#3) One blowjob a week and you’d swim in mink

I want those pants lowered ’til I can see his religion!
Gold-Digging Nanny
October 7th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

86 gh — I don’t know either, but I like it.
Dingo
October 7th, 2008 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

On the hirsute angle, I’d like to believe that Brad grows up to be Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener.
bats :[
October 7th, 2008 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

111. The Party Sim: I removed the Foob HQ from my bookmarks as of 1 September, so I haven’t been there to read Coffee Stalk since then. One letter a week?
I guess giving away one freakin’ coffee mug a month was really cutting into LJ’s bottom line….

Oh, and it seems that paying very close attention to a You Tube tutorial has paid off. And it also seems that flickr.com doesn’t *do* .gif animations. Yay for personal blogs! ;)
Jnoble
October 7th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

Luann: Toni is this strips (rim shot) equivalent of Lucy pulling the ball away from Charlie Brown. Oh, she might get her shirt off but someone or something will suddenly show up to ruin it before it gets really good for Brad. (cue sheepy horn: Wahhht wahhht waaaaaahhhh!!!)
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 7th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

Dingo, Stephanie, Kirin, and everyone else…

Let’s put it to a vote…

Brad de Groot… hottie?
Baka Gaijin
October 7th, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

#10 Dingo: WHAT???? Why are you even thinking of Karl Rove on a carnival ride? Your imagination is as full as Toby’s is empty, and that’s pretty scary.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 7th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

dammit, that poll won’t work.. hold on, RESTART…
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 7th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

OK, once again: a poll

Brad e Groot… hottie? (Use this link and not the other one pls thx.)
dofnup
October 7th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

Well I stared at Brad’s body a little longer than I should have because … I was, uhm, making sure that … the, uh, proportions were … that is, to say … yeah.

And I like The Argyle Sweater, I’ve been reading it for a while now, and I also loved The Far Side *shrug* I don’t see why it would matter now that The Far Side is gone.
Grant Rogers
October 7th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

Boudoir photography is a great way to meet women. Thats why I opened my own studio, and hired a lawyer..
Niall
October 7th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

Baka Gaijin.. it’s Dingo. Do not fathom too deeply into his mind. :)

I guess if Brad can be considered hot, I also have a chance somewhere. No, I’m not going to be half-wearing a firefighter uniform.
Tom the Pirate
October 7th, 2008 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

Today’s Luann is a lead-in to a very real, very serious problem in firefighting circles. Brad and Toni will start setting fires — yes, people, I said setting fires — as part of their ongoing mating ritual. Yes indeed, and as the flames rise around them, they will strip down to their scanties and, you guessed it, Toni, will tease Brad some more. Then they will get dressed and head outside to help put the fire out.
Vince M
October 7th, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

MW: Bobbing for apples in a tub of tar?
Donald The Anarchist
October 7th, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

A3G Haley’s a liar an’ I hate her.

Luann Well, he is a fireman. And apparently Toni doesn’t have many female friends, or they would’ve had something to say about her dating a borderline sociopath. What the hell, Toni, break him in.

You just know Brad’s one of those guys that gets cuckolded on his honeymoon, though. I guess Toni could be Brad’s Therese.
Miss Hap
October 7th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

MT – Are – Are Mark’s feet talking to him in that second panel? Or is it the grass, thankful that bloodstains won’t interfere with it’s photosynthesis? Because there’s no way that speech bubble is coming from Lady-who-wears-heels-to-the-wetlands.
commodorejohn
October 7th, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

#152 Donald The Anarchist – I don’t think Brad’s going to have a honeymoon. I think that, if his horrible parents don’t stop their meddling peddling of sexual paranoia, he’s going to become a modern-day Norman Bates. Toni better watch out, or she’s going to wind up with her skin hanging in Brad’s closet and the rest of her in the break-room fridge at the fire station.
dale
October 7th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

Luann 10/7
Is there any chance panel 3 was done by a different artist? Maybe even all 3 panels.
Isaac
October 7th, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

After yesterday’s pathetic attempt at foreshadowing, Spiderman attempts to compensate by having Peter reason out his dismissal of the clock show that would never otherwise appear in a three-panel comic strip. Then jolly ol’ Stan Lee cuts to the chase and show us Big Time is- surprise- interested.
Wouldn’t it be easier to just have a box that says “There is an antique clock show in town and Big Time prepares to strike, unbeknownst to Peter?” It’d be less obvious.
Charp
October 7th, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

At least Brad has nipples, unlike Archie.
Baka Gaijin
October 7th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Luann: Why is everyone fixated on the presence of Brad’s nipples when Toni’s still aren’t visible?
tb4000
October 7th, 2008 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

Luann: I swear on everything if TJ, Luann, or the DeGroot parental units waltz in unannounced, I am done with this strip. Especially considering no one should be able to due to the door supposdly being locked.
cheech wizard
October 7th, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Big Dog – A fascist salute yesterday and today, Marmaduke destroys a menora – hey, maybe the owner-guy really is Hitler and the strip nothing more than a vehicle for anti-Jewish propaganda.
True Fable
October 7th, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

#60 bats :[ – Promise? ;-)
# 65 gh – Yeah now that’s the THING! And I can’t come up with a caption to save my life beyond

“Well, you’re the one always saying I get your goat! What’s the problem?”

I like y’all’s better!
AT
October 7th, 2008 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

I am in my 18th year as a student, and I have never gotten a test grade back the same day I took it. This counts Scantron tests, which are run through a machine by a graduate student. Baldo is stupid.
Annon
October 7th, 2008 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

#79 Oh. my. god. Agree.
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
October 7th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

SM: So the guy has a thing for CLOCKS? Could any affectation be more boring? I say the villian o’ the month here should at least have a name we can have fun with, the snickerability quotient being inversely proportional to the lameness of the villian, a la The Shocker. How bout the Clocksucker? Too subtle?
Talking Squirrel
October 7th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

Return of the Uh-Oh Baby to “Cul de Sac”…

And revisitation of Rosemary’s Baby to planet earth.

Unlike Marvin who can only speak in thought bubbles, here we have a blasphemous neonate who can say entire phrases. I snaked one off of eBay before they all got thrown on the pyre.
Stephen H.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

I think the most awkward thing about Beetle Bailey is Sarge’s two right feet.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 7th, 2008 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

77 Jesse Cline –

A Pluggers caption is unnecessarily wordy due to it being the case that the caption was sent in to the strip by a reader with their suggestion and apparently not edited by anyone for zip or punch after it was sent in.

I mean, they could have said “A Plugger’s resume is on his coffee mugs” or even just “A Plugger resume”.
Mooncattie
October 7th, 2008 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

#164 Uncle Ritzy Fritz – I’d love a panel where our new villain faces a full-length mirror, shaking his fist, saying “Look out world, here comes The Time Waster!” On second thought, that could apply to any character in Spider-Man.
Kris
October 7th, 2008 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

That Luann strip is like the intro to a porno.
commodorejohn
October 7th, 2008 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

#169 Kris – And that’s exactly where the similarity will end.
Steve Grant
October 7th, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

150 – Brad and Toni will start setting fires
169 – That Luann strip is like the intro to a porno.

Can a reunion tour be far behind?
Brick Bradford
October 7th, 2008 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

#30 Dingo–thanks but my heart belongs to Saturn Sadie.

While we were on vacation we stayed at a motel which shall remain nameless. In the morning I went to check email, etc. on the computer in the lobby. I decided to check the snark here and THE DECENCY FILTER BLOCKED THIS SIGHT. Why? The explanation stated it had something to to with pedophilia. Yup. All the references to Rex Morgan’s alleged pedophilia got us blocked. And this was in the last awful throws of Fooberdammurung, when snark was desperately needed.

I’d say we’re doing our work well.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 7th, 2008 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

#5 Muffaroo,
Color me impressed. You managed to tie Mary Worth to Ditko’s less readable Question prototype.

#12 Niall,
There are so many places I could go with Brad and “better hand.” All so tempting, I can’t make up my mind.
Scherzo
October 7th, 2008 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

I myself am surprised that Brad’s crunches and push-ups were so effective…

6-pack!
Citric
October 7th, 2008 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

Once upon a time in University, some friends of mine had gotten sick of the rumor mill in our home town, so we decided to make up rumors about everyone. One of them was that one guy was screwing his English prof in order to get better grades. But one person brought up that he’d have to be pretty good at pleasuring, or his grades would suffer. If he wasn’t good, he’d get an essay back that said “I’ve read better.”

Baldo reminded me of that.
Muffaroo
October 7th, 2008 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

Uncle Ritzy Fritz @164 – Has this clock guy even got a name yet? “Clock King” is obviously taken. Tempus Fugitive? Grandfather Clock? Mister Six Fifteen? The Master of Temporal Measurement Devices? I say whatever he calls himself, we go with your idea and call him The Clocksucker. He asked for it.

“CLOCKS? Could any affectation be more boring?” Just wait. I think after the current story finally ends, Dick Tracy is going to go up against a guy who uses gimmicked cuff links to steal celluloid shirt collars.
Toronto
October 7th, 2008 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

80/PeteMoss and 90/Niall: “Saskachewan!!” sung to the tune of “Oklahoma!” is quite possibly the worst ear-worm ever. Thanks ever so much.

Of course, no one would ever be able to actually sing it out loud – they’d pass out during the spelling bit.
Carly
October 7th, 2008 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

There is something very disturbing about that BB comic. Maybe it’s the fact that the bed clearly isn’t big enough for both of them.

I do like Brad’s grimace in Luann. It’s like his Zoolander face or something.
commodorejohn
October 7th, 2008 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

#176 Muffaroo – He’s going by “Big Time.”

No, seriously. That’s actually what he’s calling himself. Suddenly “Braces” doesn’t seem like such a bad supervillain name any more.
Gold-Digging Nanny
October 7th, 2008 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

Once again, I’m a dirty liberal, but I really think New Adventures of Queen Victoria has been hitting it out of the park the last couple weeks.
queek
October 7th, 2008 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

138: I’ll just assume that’s a R.E.M ref and leave it at that. . . .

“Leonard Bearnstein!”
The Ghost of Jarrod
October 7th, 2008 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

#159 — I swear on everything if TJ, Luann, or the DeGroot parental units waltz in unannounced, I am done with this strip.

If TJ were there, Brad would be a lot happier about being half-naked.

TJ too.
commodorejohn
October 8th, 2008 at 12:10 am [Reply]

#180 Gold-Digging Nanny – I dunno, political differences aside, it seems that it’s succumbing to Opus syndrome, wherein formerly differentiated and interesting characters conglomerate into groups of sock puppets representing either the “for” or “against” camps in regards to the author’s viewpoint. Most notably this past weekend, when a whole fucking Sunday strip was devoted to refuting the argument of *gasp* *shock* *horrors* someone on the Internet who disagreed with the author’s politics!

That was it. No joke aside from a smug “so there, times infinity plus one!” Not funny by any stretch of the imagination.
jailbird
October 8th, 2008 at 12:27 am [Reply]

The only dope Haley is going to find at Alan’s apartment is blonde and answers to the name Luann.
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
October 8th, 2008 at 12:27 am [Reply]

Questions that should not be asked: Sarge, where is your other hand? Sarge, why have you got that expression on your face? Sarge, what’s on the TV/VCR(/DVD?) combo?
Gold-Digging Nanny
October 8th, 2008 at 12:34 am [Reply]

183 commodorejohn — I completely agree with you on the Sunday strip. And you’re right, not all of the ones last week were that clever. I liked the Tango Makes Three one, but that one had a couple things going for it — not just the Palin joke, but the absurd image of carrying a stone to term — and I liked the Handmaid’s Tale one because it was halfway decent satire. The TTYL one was particularly lame, and the Little Brother and final head-exploding ones seemed more argumentative than anything. You didn’t make this point, but I will — some of the straw man arguments were delving into Mallard Fillmore territory. But I loved the one yesterday with Putin rearing his head. That was fairly fresh in terms of Palin jokes, and I’ve heard a lot of them.

I guess I was just pleased to see some actual jokes in this strip instead of weeks on weeks of characters being placed upside down in the panel or running gags about laugh tracks or something. God, that got boring. Pab can be very funny sometimes, but I think he’s been slipping for a while. It’s nice to see him try some humor.
Echo
October 8th, 2008 at 12:39 am [Reply]

No, I do not think Brad is hot. You are all weirdos.
Echo
October 8th, 2008 at 12:40 am [Reply]

I do want TJ to waltz in, though. Now there’s a setup for a porn movie.
Angry Kem
October 8th, 2008 at 12:42 am [Reply]

Wednesday comics:

9CL: Oh, come on, Amos! Surely you knew she was going to book only one room. This is Isabel we’re talking about here. Haven’t you been paying attention?

Oh, wait…it’s Amos. Never mind.

A3G: Oh, come on, Luann! Surely you–

I probably shouldn’t bother, should I?

FC: Okay, Billy. Let’s you and I sit down and have a little chat about a) human biological functions and b) time. Clearly, you understand neither.

Marvin: I just want to smack that look of bored superiority off his widdle face. Wham! Bang! CLAPPITY!
Toronto
October 8th, 2008 at 12:53 am [Reply]

176/Muffaroo: I think they’ll out-think all of us and will name him “Dial-n’Thomas” or something.

But “Clocksucker” will do.
DavidMac
October 8th, 2008 at 1:07 am [Reply]

BB: Otto’s worried how Sarge (SFC Snorkle) will take when Otto tells him he’s been neutered.
Jack Parsons
October 8th, 2008 at 1:20 am [Reply]

Not a plugger, but I also have left a trail of commercial devastation. It’s inevitable in the computer startup world that your resume looks like the Grim Reaper.

But my high school also closed down, and you can’t chalk that up to “market conditions”. It’s all mine, baby.
Farley's Revenge
October 8th, 2008 at 1:21 am [Reply]

How about “Clocktease”?

First it was Daisy sleeping with Blondie. Now it’s Otto floating next to Sarge’s bed…I’m seeing a really unpleasant trend developing here of comic dogs forced to pleasure their owners on the funny pages. What’s next? Marmaduke’s owners pimping out the big dog?

PBS: I do believe I have not seen a comic character take one in the nuts before. It was well worth the wait. “Oompa loompas”.*snerk*
Niall
October 8th, 2008 at 1:35 am [Reply]

Wednesday:

Luann: …in the foot. As usual.

A3G: Hijinks! Vapid hijinks, but hijinks nonetheless!

I need sleep, but I’ll say that the My Cage-PBS combo redeems the Wednesday tremendously. MC’s fourth panel is what saves it from the horrid cliché introduced. Now that’s how you make the real funny.
Gold-Digging Nanny
October 8th, 2008 at 1:36 am [Reply]

C-shaft: Darkefang’s comment from a couple days ago just completely summed up the whole Crankshaft storyline for me. I still can’t get over Monday’s strip. Can we please finally end this storyline now? I never thought I’d miss Crankshaft the bitter, hateful, malapropism-spouting blowhard, but anything’s better than this self-righteous crap.

DT — That’s the villains’ hideout? What, couldn’t they afford an abandoned warehouse or something?

MC — Made me laugh.

PBS — Final line made me laugh.

OBH — I know it’s close, but — are we staring straight down at that book, and also looking straight on at Ruthie? The perspective … it hurts….
Gold-Digging Nanny
October 8th, 2008 at 1:39 am [Reply]

I meant to link to Darkefang’s comment here:
http://joshreads.com/?p=1743#comment-599476
KT
October 8th, 2008 at 2:13 am [Reply]

Marktrail:
Check out that R.O.U.S. (Rodent Of Unusual Size) looming ominously over the characters!

Maryworth:
“IDENTITY FRAUD?! Why, you bubbleheaded booby! Ohhh, the paaain, the pain of it all…”
Bobdog
October 8th, 2008 at 2:25 am [Reply]

I am under the impression that the whole reason Alan was shot was because he had no dope — which means Haley’s feverish scrounging through his worldly possessions will be in vain — or I am paying way more attention to this strip than is warranted.
left of the pyle
October 8th, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

LuAnn: With the suddenness with which the need to vomit struck Brad, I’m guessing that Toni is really Tony.
Bobdog
October 8th, 2008 at 2:29 am [Reply]

Given the look on Sarge’s face in the second panel, I fervently am wanting to believe that all that transpired between panels one and two was simple Sarge getting under the covers and wrapping hi arm around his one friend in life — but the look of abject horror on Otto’s face suggests significantly more time and action has elapsed. The implied filth they allow in newspapers these days…
Bobdog
October 8th, 2008 at 2:32 am [Reply]

Pluggers worked at Lehman Brothers?
Farley's Revenge
October 8th, 2008 at 2:46 am [Reply]

Where’d the nightstand in the second panel of BB come from? Did Sarge engage in a bout of furniture rearranging before having his way with Otto?
commodorejohn
October 8th, 2008 at 2:50 am [Reply]

#186 Gold-Digging Nanny – Fair points, and yeah, there was someclever material last week in between the straw-manning. Mainly I’m just concerned that NAOQV, a generally witty and enjoyable strip, might jump the shark before it even really gets off the ground by devolving into just another ranty political Internet thing, though I certainly hope not.

Also, Vladimir Putin makes anything funnier. Heck, his name alone is comedy gold, especially since nobody, televised congressional officeholders included, can figure out whether it’s pronounced “pewtin,” “pootin,” or “puttin’.”
John C Fremont
October 8th, 2008 at 6:28 am [Reply]

MW – Chicago was so grand that Ian gives it an enthusiastic half a thumbs-up.

GT – Jeff gets back into the game. James Arness approves.
True Fable
October 8th, 2008 at 6:57 am [Reply]

A3G Okay, I can get behind the “click” sound effect since that’s what a key in a lock sounds like. But what in the hell makes a sound like “klat”?
(WT)DT “the Genesis Corporation deals in highly sensitive satellite communications, which we are about to install in this ancient John Deere tractor in order to prove something or rather.”
FC In space, no one can hear you pee.
Canadian Zombie Wow, I would have sworn Elly would have said, “Anthony Caine” but then she had not met him yet so yeah, that means any shmuck who takes orders and is the biggest weiner to the tenth power would do.
WTFGT Don’t block me, bro!
H&J Holy shit, Herb’s mother is threatening him with a fisting! You know, this explains so much.
JP Is Hot Detective talking to Dixie Julep or Sam in that last panel? Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
Luann Kinda meta, ain’t it?
MT Honey, you’d be peeing in your pants if you knew there was a ginormous marsupial just waiting to squash you.
MW Oh dammit! I was hoping she would angst and pose dramatically for at least a day or two before she caved in and took Mary’s advice! Karen Moy! For God’s sake, bring some tension; bring some MEAT! A little challenge would be nice, y’know!
PBS “Oooh my Oompa Loompas” has just become my new favorite phrase, and just MIGHT make watching either version of Willy Wonky tolerable now.
Phantom Oh be honest, you mean use the kid as a shield and you know it. Bastard; how do you know the kid’s a Keane?
RiR Well, unless she’s serving up Chicken Fried Shit, I can’t believe wild animals would pass that bowl up; what do squirrels know! But wait, this is a comic where rainbows and hearts spring out of nowhere because Rose sees a flower or some damn thing. Chicken Fried Shit it is, then.
SL Your Attention Please: For the first time, I am amused by Sherman’s Lagoon, and it’s largely because it pokes fun at the Family Circus.
S-M Only Spider-Man could dig up a villain with such an unlikely hobby as Old Clock Collecting. Hey, Spidey! I have my great-grandmother’s miniature pitcher collection stored somewhere around here; come and get me, punk.
Zits They are bitterly disappointed that they won’t be able to get rid of Jeremy as easy as they hoped.
Ham Gravy
October 8th, 2008 at 7:42 am [Reply]

FW: Funky brought the “fam” over? What the heck is a “fam”? Is that some kind of flying vehicle or something? Since they leaped into the future, they should have access to all kinds of fancy hi-tech hoo-bobs, like Funky’s blue four-door 2018 Fam.
gleeb
October 8th, 2008 at 7:46 am [Reply]

Brenda: She followed the trail of “dumb kid”.

9CL: Comic situations of the 1950s! Guh-yuck!

Baldo: Tia Carmen a junkie? Say it ain’t so, Baldo!

F-: But his pistol is unloaded now. You two grab him; I’ll call security.

‘bean: Don’t worry, Funky. Les knows what a sick, twisted creep he is. But Funky? Lock your doors tonight.

Fuzzy: I’ve seen enough “debates” to know that this is where you’re supposed to turn around and blame the “other side” for destroying our precious public schools.

Non Sequitur: I only count five cans. He’s no Joe Sixpack!

Pluggers: …are only slightly less knowledgeable about pop culture than I (thank goodness for Lucinda Williams).
Whippersnapper
October 8th, 2008 at 8:20 am [Reply]

MT: Why would being chased by an alligator shake you up? Apparently, all you have to do to get it to stop and go away is poke it with a stick.

I’m so sad I missed His Imperial Scaliness when he dropped in a couple threads ago!
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 8th, 2008 at 8:35 am [Reply]

Clock Struck would be a perfect DT villain. He could do some collaborative work with that heinous hosiery heister, the Sock Plucker. I imagine they would get costumes made by the Sheet Slitter.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 8th, 2008 at 8:38 am [Reply]

(The explanations I would particularly savor. “Struck is an old Dutch name… my family comes from Delft… my father raced bicycles there… and he always wanted me to be a great time trialist… so…”)
Brick Bradford
October 8th, 2008 at 8:40 am [Reply]

MT “Having an alligator chase you can really shake you up”. NO SHIT MARK! Is this what makes you the renowned wildlife specialist? What’s next? “Being mauled by a rabid kodiak bear can be painful”?

LuAnn Yes, Brad, shut up. Just Shut Up. (Anybody thinking Toni might come out in full fire fighter gear–her little idea of a “joke”?)

9CL Wait a minnit–Edda and Amos have never done the wild thing? Well, it helps explain the whole junior high quality of their little EIGHT WEEK spat.

JP No! I wanted it to go on longer! Haven’t given up on Sam questioning Dixie at work, though.
kalki
October 8th, 2008 at 8:46 am [Reply]

Luann: Is that wavy line down Brad’s chest a surgical scar or supposed to be a weird hair pattern?

I’d like to see how the writer is going to handle this scene with Brad and Toni. On the one hand, we have Toni, who was probably rode hard by her former boyfriend Dirk and we have a probable virgin in Brad. Toni has Brad alone at her place. A digital camera. And lots of skin involved.

If Brad can’t get Toni to slide down his fireman’s pole and have photos of the scene, then he might as well admit he is gay and invite Toni to help him shop for women’s clothing in his size.
Muffaroo
October 8th, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

Bobdog @198 – I thought they should find that Alan had a whole bunch of drugs that he’d forgotten about, which would have been, like rilly rilly ironical!
@200 – Gee, somebody ought to photoshop cigarettes in Sarge’s hand and Otto’s mouth. (So, when Otto says “unit”…)
Sequitur
October 8th, 2008 at 9:18 am [Reply]

MT: That’s one awesome ‘possum.
dyslexic dog
October 8th, 2008 at 9:25 am [Reply]

MW: Ian’s rave review of Chicago gets an asterisk due to the total absence of Cubs-smack.
dyslexic dog
October 8th, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

Curtis:
Which word doesn’t belong?
1. Fencing
2. Cuttin’
3. Everythin’
4. Doin’
Kiesha
October 8th, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

You’re a plugger if you can’t spell celebrities’ names right.
Muffaroo
October 8th, 2008 at 9:59 am [Reply]

A3G – CLICK… KLAT “Who’s there?!” I’m guessing it’s a poorly spelled plug for Kit Kat bars.

Bizarro – Regular readers of Mark Trail will take a long time to get this.

Cshaft – “And then, after he got cancer and lost the leg, he was unable to avoid the speeding bus. That was right after I became a driver.”

Curtis – If Curtis stumbled on a clue, he’d cut himself on it.

DTracy – Are they all in that little shed? With the giant robot? Or does it disguise itself as a tractor and stand in the yard?

Dbury – Kent Hance? Is that the same Kent Hance who was running for office when we lived in Houston? Looks like it could be. Small world. “Very good, Hance.”

FBasset – Fred is close to uttering the motto he lives by today: “Plus ça meme chose.”

Mduke – ha ha marmaduke designed the maps himself and drew them and laid them out in a publishing program then made pdfs of them and printed them up oh marmaduke you undogly dog what discanine thing will you do next

NSeq – Sure, I could linger on this and figure out what the joke is.

PBSwine – Right in the labonza! Right in the kishkas!

Zits – Hookah bar? Hell, I’m there!
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 8th, 2008 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Poll results! I posted that crazy poll, and then couldn’t get the results, so I re-posted a second version, and had the same problem. But I figured it out!

Results here (the first one) and here (the second one)

Both show just over half the respondents voting for “hot!” and half voting for either “meh” or “oh please”, with the “mehs” leading the “oh pleases”.

So there you have it. Whatever your opinion, somebody out there agrees with you. (But that is in general the lesson of the internet.)
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 8th, 2008 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Re Family Circus — in fact, Alan Shepard had to urinate in his space suit on the Freedom 7 mission. No joke!
Angry Kem
October 8th, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Breaking news: Archie is written by a medieval monk.

SL: How much better would this comic have been if the dotted line had stopped dead on top of Thornton? A splash of blood would have added to the hilarity.
steve
October 8th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Dick Tracy: Why are the villians meeting in a rural shanty with an old tractor outisde? Are they subletting from one of the hicks in Gasoline Alley?
Niall
October 8th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

205. True Fable: “click” is the key put in the lock. “klat” is the deadbolt sliding over. Makes sense.

DT: Seeing the tractor, I sense the gruesome end plot device. I’m calling death by plowing!

221. Angry Kem: “bourdest”? Really? Neat – a link to the french “une bourde” meaning an embarassing gaffe. Which describes the Archie newspaper comic to a T.
Muffaroo
October 8th, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

me @213 – Caught you repeating Josh’s joke like it was your own! Oops.
Calico
October 8th, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

I think I see the doggie logic to Marmaduke’s Map-Sales ploy.
He wants to lure the tender little neighborhood children to his house, so he can eat them out of sight of the neighbors, then bury the bones in his backyard for later consumption.
Calico
October 8th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

Zits – for plentiful hookahs and bong activity, you might want to try Colorado State, dude. Like Wow.
Calico
October 8th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

Or that is most likely U of C. My bad. Dude.
Angry Kem
October 8th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

#223 Niall: Yes…bourden has a number of meanings, including “to joke.” Japen didn’t fit quite as well in this context.

Just for the record: bourde is a Middle English noun as well (thanks, Norman invaders!). Its English meaning seems to lean more towards “joke” or “funny story” than the French meaning does.
Revsfan
October 8th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

10/8 Nancy- Reminds me of an old Simon & Garfunkel song that l’m gonna have stuck in my head all day now
Spidey; Back in the day l had an assignment once to start a rock collection. This villain must’ve heard wrong.
Niall
October 8th, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

228. AK: weirdly enough the Robert definition of Bourde I just checked is close to jaspen than bourden (”to lie in order to dupe”, i.e. to trick).

In what seems to be related, a “bourdon” is the actual correct French term for a specific typo in which the compositer misses whole words from the copy.

I love perusing the dictionary. :)
commodorejohn
October 8th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

9CL – This could either lead to Amos and Edda…well, probably not doing it, but maybe at least getting their sphincters unclenched, or wacky 1940s comedy hijinks. GEE, I WONDER WHICH.

AW – If anybody here is interested, The Academia Waltz over at goComics (or the viewer script linked by my username) may be going out on a more detailed backstory for Cutter John.

A3G – To those of you wondering what part of a door goes “KLAT:” that’s not the door at all. Luann is just hearing the Newton’s cradle on Alan’s desk. Margo will arrive on the scene hours later to find her staring, transfixed, at it (probably joined by Haley.)

AS – Although this is less mangled than usual, I feel compelled to protest that many of us cranks who view social-networking sites as the next devolution of human interaction are, in fact, quite friendly in person or elsewhere online.

Curtis – Curtis admits that his slip with Michelle involved “peeling” a “banana.”

DT – Man, panel two looks so perfectly like a textbook illustration from 1957.

FW – Les talks about “bringing the fam over” like it’s a quick twenty-minute drive, rather than dragging his whole family two states over to help run a fundraiser.

Garfield – While the well of “wow Jon and Liz are in a relationship” jokes is quickly being run dry, I do like Garfield’s futile attempt to finish the conversation.

GA – What’s the title, “Obscured Clouds?”

Luann – That’s the first intelligent thing you’ve thought in ~~this storyline~~ the entire run of the strip, Brad.

MT – Remove panel one from the equation, and this starts to look like an entirely different kind of storyline. No wonder that possum is smirking.

MW – So is that the “arthritic thumbs-up” gesture, or the “grabbing a beer by the bottleneck” gesture?

MC – Niall is right; it’s the spin on the cliche in the last panel that really makes this one good, the punchline especially.

OBH – This strip is so wonderfully devoid of context.

PBS – I find it rather disconcerting for a character with not only no visible evidence of genitalia, but no place to keep said genitalia, to be hit in the nuts.

Pibgorn – We finally, finally seem to be getting close to a resolution for the storyline. FINALLY.

Pluggers – ARGH BROOKINS STOP IT YOU CAN’T CALL ME A PLUGGER NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY YOU HEAR ME

SF – Um…is “retro Jane Austen” a popular grade-school clothing style of which I am unaware?

SM – That thing is just too kickass to be stuck in a strip like this. Are My Cage or Sally Forth or Slylock Fox looking to adopt a clock, by any chance?

Edison Lee – Actually, you dumbass, it depends on how those votes are divided among electoral districts. But then, I spent my time in school actually learning things instead of ranting incompetently about things I didn’t understand.
Angry Kem
October 8th, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

#230 Niall: I like it when words switch definitions on their way through the translator. It’s especially intriguing that both words are derived from the French.

Japes for Owre Tymes is having an odd day today, by the way. First it was attacked in the comments section for disrespecting the romance genre; now it has been picked up by Very Short List and has had several hundred hits in the course of the last hour. I’m expecting animated penguins any second now.
Dingo
October 8th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

Thank heavens that Ian is home. With Mary, all Toby could do was whine on the bench. Now, she has a bosom to cry on. A heaving bosom. A hairy, heaving bosom of arrogance and moral superiority. Scented with Chicago.
teddytoad
October 8th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

“Alan would understand.” Yes, Alan would understand the pressing necessity of, once again, establishing that he has no dope. After all, he was shot for it.
CanuckDownSouth
October 8th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

231-commodorejohn: S4th Actually, that would be the, yes, currently fairly popular babydoll / empire-waist tunic styles with fake-layer / fake-wrap / real-wrap / fake-deep-neck / top-pleated / tie-back styles that are currently worn with jeans (as shown with the legs below the table). I’m seeing them all over the teen and tween stores at the mall, as well as on people. I was actually going to compliment this as a contrast to FOOB’s handling of April’s wardrobe for the last couple of years.
commodorejohn
October 8th, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

#235 CanuckDownSouth – Ah. I don’t get out much, so I really can’t tell a contemporary outfit from anything post-Blondie.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 8th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

10/8

9CL: Burkhardt is all, “Hey babe, while you’re down there could you use that mouth for something besides bitching?”

DtM: When frightened or otherwise excited, the Margaret’s bright red hair doubles in length to confuse predators.

A3G: It’s Jones. He felt kinda bad about Alan, so he brought by some complementary shrooms.

OBH: Granting more rights on the basis of popularity is fair? Ruthie, you may rethink that when you get to high school.

MT: In most contexts, “Why don’t you come back to my friend’s house and wash up?” would be positively dripping with sexual innuendo. This being “Mark Trail”, anything sexual is outuendo.

Popeye: It always amazes me how much abuse Swee’Pea’s skull is able to take. Thank God he’s not human.

Shoe: Perfesser hanged by angry mob of gas consumers, film at 11.

Luann: Brad found his inner shut up. Many’s the time he could have used it.

Phantom: “Uh huh. Here’s what’s gonna happen, purple man. I’m gonna go inside and get some sleep. You’re gonna boogie your stripey ass off my lawn. We understand each other?”

FW: “No worries, Funkmeister. I’ve known you were a self centered prick for years.”

H&J: Yeah right, like this would be the first time Herb got fisted. (Somebody had to say it,)

FB: That’s not how you use that phrase. Has weekending in Paris taught you nothing? NOTHING???

RMMD: Rex looks eerily like Brian Williams in the second panel.

RMMD2: “Yeah I never did anything either. With Niki, I mean. Besides some trout fishing. But you know how crazy rumors can get. Is it hot in here?”

S-M: When I first saw the headline, I thought it said “Rare cock exhibit,” and that Big Time would be sending pseudo-Spidey to a Harvey Keitel film festival.
Calico
October 8th, 2008 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

#231-The thing about Luann Powers is that she doesn’t need drugs to be a bimbo.
Maybe Luann will adopt Haley as a pet after all this is said and done.
Old Doc Yak
October 8th, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: meanwhile, the giant mutant possum towers over Mark and the swamp-draining lady! What the hell’s her name, anyway? I haven’t been paying enough attention to bother remembering.

Judge Parker: Now that is some random shit, right there. The door is confessing? Did Nolan just run out of stuff to draw?
Dingo
October 8th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Yakkity Yak: Her name is Sue Butler.

Possum is what you call a mischievous young boy when he saunters into the kitchen just as you’re taking cookies out of the oven.

Opossum is the filling in those cookies, if you live with my Aunt Judy.
Gold-Digging Nanny
October 8th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

203 commodorejohn — I keep waiting for Putin to use his black-belt moves on a tiger.
gh
October 8th, 2008 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

Remember back a few months ago when Ted Forth got laid off and Ces dropped us some lines Ted was going to say about how he’d keep busy? Of course you do! It’s back there . . . somewhere. Anyway, Ces is at it again! Well, sorta. It’s from July, 2007, but it’s new to me. Maybe you too. Click on Unpublished Ted Forth Dialogue.
Art Vandelay
October 8th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Pluggers can’t spell.

I really don’t like Beetle Bailey and Blondie trying to comment on modern technology at all. Beetle Bailey should take place in the 1970s and Blondie should take place in the 1940s. Then they are just weird and goofy, but accepting what they are, and not annoyingly trying to seem hip and “with it.” It’s like if your old uncle always told the same old goofy jokes to you, and it was his thing, and it reminded you of old times, so it’s reassuring and okay. But then if all of a sudden he tried to make up new jokes about how crazy that interweb thing is, and how Facebook is different from a party line telephone, it would just come off as cranky griping, and not be what was endearing about him at all.

SF: Nobody loves the Forths. Everybody hates them. Why don’t they go eat worms?
AmazingThor
October 8th, 2008 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

Zits: “The nearest hookah bar is two blocks from campus.” Besides the fact that I don’t think the author of Zits knows what a hookah bar is, Jeremy seems to be implying that this is a bad thing. But what I can’t figure out is WHY this disappoints him. Two blocks? Is that too far for him to walk or does that put the hookah bar too close to campus? And since this is in Europe, wouldn’t he be more concerned with where the closes hash bar was?
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
October 8th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

226 & 227 — Calico, CU, CSU, UNC, doesn’t matter — there’s plenty of places to get screwed up at. It’s just that CU gets all the good press. That’s why I went out of state for school.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 8th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

Niall@230
Anyone who loves perusing the dictionary is automatically qualified to be my friend. Probably days of my childhood were lost to perusing the dictionary.
commodorejohn
October 8th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

#246 Li’l Bunnë FooFoo – Does reading the encyclopedia as a child count?
airish
October 8th, 2008 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Somewhere, Rick Santorum is reading Beetle Bailey today and feeling vindicated. “They laughed when I warned how gay rights would lead to ‘Man-on-dog’ sex, but do they laugh now, after seeing that lustful look in Sarge’s eyes!”

On the other hand, if we allowed gays in the military, would Sarge be forced to sublimate his “urges” in the way he apparently has with Otto? I do hope that a future strip doesn’t feature Zero eying some hot little heifer.
AhClem
October 8th, 2008 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

#247 commodorejohn -
Not only reading the encyclopedia, but tracing drawings and copying text from the articles I found interesting.

#230 Niall-
“Bourdon” is also a common family of stops found in pipe organs. More info than you would ever care to know about bourdon pipes can be found here.
Dingo
October 8th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

When I was a wee lad, I saw Ursula Andress emerge from the ocean in Dr. No. She mentioned to James Bond that she was taught to read by using the encyclopedia and that she was up to the letter “N.” The first image from this brief interlude may be part of what caused me to be gay. The second was inspiration to spend hour upon hour as a child perusing the encyclopedia, learning about faraway places and historical events. I’ve seen what Ursula Andress looks like today and believe I made the correct choice.
Niall
October 8th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

246 Bunnë: thank you. But I’ve found out that commodorejohn and others of his ilk have really beaten me to the real punch by reading encyclopedias. We had one – but it was in English and I was too old and “busy” to go through it in detail by the time I knew enough English to really understand more than a few entries.

I had enough knowledge at my fingertip to be really smart, but squandered it…

232 Angry Kem: I saw the one fan of romances reacting to your humorous send-up; I am well-aware how defensive one can be of one’s passion, but sending corrections willy-nilly like this only makes one’s image worse. I already knew romances weren’t bodice-rippers anymore, but the soft-porn image is still the quickest way to deflate the students’ ideas about medieval romances, which was the point, which was lost, and which I’m belaboring.

(Bad thing about here instead of at a meet: no one can tell me to shut up but myself.)

249 AhClem: the bourdon for organs stems from the other definition of bourdon, that of bumblebee, supposedly as an onomatopeia for the low-vibration sound they make while flying (bourdonnement). It evolved into a homonym.
Niall
October 8th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

..and 237 AfkaBen’s MT entry had better make its way to the float at the very least. :)
Hogenmogen
October 8th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

A3G: Click Klat
Who’s there?
Halley
Halley who?
Hay, leave the door open next time so I don’t hafta use the key.

Click Klat
Luann: “Who’s there?”
“Howie.”
Luann: “Howie who?”
“Howie Gonna Score Some Dope With Jones Still Out of Town?”
Luann: I don’t get it. Are you one of Alan’s friends, Howie?
Alex W.
October 8th, 2008 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

Luann: The real reason the economy is in the tanks is because we are paying $2,000 for photos of shirtless dudes. I’ve been to those social networking sites. You can get shirtless pictures of dudes without even asking for them.

Plugger’s- Perhaps a plugger should get a job at the coffee mug production facility. They seem to be doing quite well.
Hogenmogen
October 8th, 2008 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Faye is looking more like a young Sally Forth lately. I thought she was supposed to be sorta cool.
Poteet
October 8th, 2008 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

MT — I know I’ve become monomaniacal on this subject, but isn’t Sue a wee bit curious as to how and why a stranger happened to be wandering around on her land? Maybe I just don’t understand the hospitable rural South. But don’t try trespassing in rural Iowa, Mark — that’s my advice. Here, a stranger can get funny looks for just driving slowly down a public gravel road.
Hogenmogen
October 8th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

Looks like they grabbed this Shoe from the early 70s. There is no “gas shortage” today. There are high gas prices.
Hogenmogen
October 8th, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

Poteet: Yeah, Sue will take Mark to court for trespassing and animal cruelty when he beat an endangered croc with a stick.

“What are you doing here, MIss?”
“I own this land. What are YOU doing here, Sir?”
“Gathering information for a devestating article on destruction of wetlands.”
“So we’re mortal enemies then?”
“I guess so, M’am. Excuse me while I… ”
FIST ‘O’ JUSTICE!!!
Hogenmogen
October 8th, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

Spidey: Does Big Time have what it takes to be a certifiable Spiderman foe?

Unusual fetish: Check
Hair matches outfit: Check
Dopey flunky: Check
Ridiculous plan: Check
Dedication to non-advancement of story line: Check
Finds all relevant information via television: No! He reads the newspaper!

Ok, so Big Time is going to steal a clock. Yes, that’s a crime. But is it life threatening? Is it brining the city to its knees? Is anyone really suffering from loss of an old clock? Aren’t there any “dope” dealers in NY that he can catch instead? What crime will he solve next? Corporate malfeasance?

I’m also surprised that a clock exhibit is front page news in NYC. What, there were no monster truck shows in town?
gh
October 8th, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Click Kat
“Who’s there?”
“Jones. I got the dope! Let me in”
“Dope?”
“Yeah, dope. Let me in. I think the cops saw me.”
“Dope’s not here.”
gh
October 8th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

Klat. Jeez.
gnome de blog
October 8th, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

Not only is Tommie Thompson Mary Worth’s secret abandoned daughter. Not only is Ian “Chinbeard” Cameron the real Professor Papagoras squirrelled away in Witness Protection and replaced by a federal agent conducting a sting operation (probably on Cousin Ruby). Now it has become painfully clear that Toby is LuAnn’s sister! She’s blonde. She’s stupid. She’s angst-ridden. She’s attracted to low-life idiots.

Through a series of rotating cut-outs, Karen Moy is really writing A3G.
Dingo
October 8th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

If Apt. 3G were a Thai puppet theatre, the handlers could just put the puppets up on the screen and go out for dinner. In Sydney. I expect the audience would still be sitting there when they returned, waiting for something to happen.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 8th, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

Commondorejohn – reading the encyclopedia counts half.

Not to diminish it in any way — I did read the encyclopedia, too, though not as often — but I think encyclopedias are, in a way, meant to be read. I’m going to have to say that reading the dictionary is geekier than reading the dictionary. Niall and Bunnë FTW!

And now I’ve upped my geekiness quotient by reading dictionaries of etymology! In multiple languages!
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 8th, 2008 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

ARG! should have previewed.

…reading the dictionary is geekier than reading the encyclopedia…
Niall
October 8th, 2008 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

264 Bunnë: multilingual etymology dictionaries sound like a splendid idea, but I’d mainly use them as reference sources for multilingual puns.

Is there no better, nobler use for them?
redbird
October 8th, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

Li’l Bunnë FooFoo: Are you sure reading the encyclopedia isn’t geekier than reading the encyclopedia? BTW you’re absolutely spot-on when you say that encyclopedias are meant to be read.
Uncle Lumpy
October 8th, 2008 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

Click Klat
Luann: “Who’s there?”
Tommie: “Tommie”
Luann: “Tommie who?”
Tommie: “To me, it seems Alan was the lucky one!”

Click Klat
Luann: “Who’s there?”
Ari: “Ari”
Luann: “Ari who?”
Ari: “Ere he died, Alan was a well-groomed junkie!”

Click Klat
Luann: “Who’s there”
Albert Pinkham Ryder: “Albert”
Luann: “Albert who?”
Albert Pinkham Ryder: “I’ll bet you still don’t know!”
Buck Remus
October 8th, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

Josh, I hope it’s OK to just once , straight up pimp for Julie Larson’s ‘Dinette Set’, a brilliant comic of which I was not aware until you featured it once about two years ago ( a rare instance of your mentioning it, b/c it’s good). I’m on her mailing list…and I just thought Mudges should know: From Julie Larson herself (no relation of Gary, but it’s an odd coincidence.)
1989-2008
20th Anniversary Edition
of
The Dinette Set
AKA Suburban Torture
By Julie Larson

The new collection features cartoons from 1989 to 2008 plus more fun images and facts about the Pennys as they developed throughout the years.
Suburban Torture cartoon is the original name of The Dinette Set from long ago from 1989 to 1996 before syndication. The Dinette Set is the syndicated, more polished version featuring most of the original players.
The 1989 rough hewn Suburban Torture cartoon morphed in both style and
skill throughout the years, but always maintaining the satirical focus on Middle Class Culture. The 20th Anniversary Edition collection of B/W daily panels is only available by mail order or at http://www.thedinetteset.com. ‘store’.
This is a very limited First Edition of 300 books with a soft wrap cover.
I will sign each book.
Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery.
New Book Price is $20.00 plus $2.50 s/h.
Dingo
October 8th, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

Next weekend: Margo, Tommie, and Luann are invited to spend the Holy Days with a New York Jewish friend. Aunt Estelle is talking to the three of them and asks what they know of Jewish culture.

Aunt Estelle: “So, Tommie dear, have you ever blown a shofar?”

Tommie: “Yes. Once. At my grandparents’ estate. But they referred to him as a ‘driver’.”
Angry Kem
October 8th, 2008 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

Dictionary-heads and People Interested in the Word “Bourdon”: Interestingly enough, the Middle English verb “bourden” has two distinct meanings: “to joke” and “to joust.” These are actually completely separate words that simply ended up looking and sounding exactly the same. The first “bourden” is from the French “bourder”; the second is from the Latin “bordiare” or the French “behorder.”

I read both the dictionary and the encyclopedia when I was a kid. My parents had to buy me my very own dictionary so that I would stop asking them what words meant while I was reading. It was an illustrated dictionary (I wasn’t really very old at all at that point). Our encyclopedia was actually an edition of The Canadian Encyclopedia.

Words are fascinating. We’re probably boring the hell out of half the readers of this blog by going on and on about them, but ich repente nat.

Niall: Yeah, Romance Lady seemed a bit out of line. I wasn’t out to offend romance fans; I was making a point about popular perceptions of the word “romance.” Ah well.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 8th, 2008 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

Bourdon is a surname too. I hesitate to bring sad news items from the outside world into this blog, but it’s the surname of a young hockey player who was tragically killed in New Brunswick in the off-season in a motorcycle accident.
Mibbitmaker
October 8th, 2008 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

A3G: Lemme guess — Dead Alan is at the door, right? Jeez, that woman attracts more ghosts involving being zonked out than lasagna does Garfield!

PBS: Missing last panel: Player who hit Pig, to Pig: “Tell them I hate them!”

S4th: Way to shoot for empathy, Hilary. I don’t feel sorry for you being an outcast anymore.

Curtis: No, Curtis, you slipped on your chauvinist bullying. Damn, that kid’s on his way to being an O.J.Simpson one of these days.

GF: Then why did you say something a moment ago about your 5-year-old neighbor shooting a moose from a helicopter? I’d also say something about her having the same last name as a “Python”, but Rob’d just say her name is Sally-Anne Cleese or something.

MG&G: Family go by in their car: “Mommy… Why is a pack of sheep dogs tearing apart a bulldog?”

H&L: I’d be more worried if his playlist was full of Billy Joel songs…
Gabacho
October 8th, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

PBS – inspired today by Idiocracy.

Apt 3G –

LuAnn – “Who’s there?”
Halley – “Haley”
LuAnn – “Haley who?”
Halley – “Aren’t you glad I didn’t say apple?”

LuAnn pees herself laughing.
Sequitur
October 8th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Anybody read atlases? (hand raised)
Poteet
October 8th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

# 259 Hogenmogen — You owe me a keyboard.
Uncle Lumpy
October 8th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Click Klat
Luann: “Who’s there?”
Ruby: “Ruby”
Luann: “Ruby who?”
Ruby: “Rue be one way to say ’street’ — ’straße’ be another!”
Kiesha
October 8th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Zits: Jeremy should know (living in Ohio and all) that there are AT LEAST two hookah bars less than two blocks from the Ohio State University campus.

Sometimes happiness is in your own backyard, Duncan.
Ned Ryerson
October 8th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

I anxiously await the Haley/Luann conversation.

Haley: Oh, hi lady.
Luann: Who are you?
Haley: I’m Haley. I’m a friend of Alan.
Luann: Well, Alan’s not here. He’s dead. *sniff*
Haley: Yeah, I heard. I’m real broken up about that, so, um…have you seen any dope around here?
Luann: I just told you Alan’s dead.
Haley: Yeah, I told you I knew that. But I was hoping I could find his stash.
Luann: But Alan was always clean shaven, besides even if he had a stash, you’d have to go down to the morgue and take it off of his….Oh Alan! *sniff*
Haley: Hey sorry lady, but no I was hoping maybe Alan had scored sometime before, well, you know…like maybe I could cop some of his stuff.
Luann: Well the police are investigating Alan’s death, but I didn’t know Alan was even into sports…say wait a minute, do you ever wear skimpy women’s shirts?
Haley: Look lady, I’m not into anything kinky, I just thought that if Alan was holding I might, you know, get a little taste.
Luann: Well, the kitchen’s pretty much a mess and I had to throw out all of the food because it was spoiled. Wait…holding what exactly?
Haley: You know. Horse.
Luann: What? I don’t even think they allow cats in this building.
Haley: No lady, don’t you get it? I really, REALLY needs some smack.
Luann: Well, I might smack you myself if I find out you’re the one leaving the skimpy women’s shirts around here.
Niall
October 8th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

271. Angry Kem: we should wordgeek more next time I’m in town. :)
Niall
October 8th, 2008 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

275. Sequitur: I read atlases and maps! :)
commodorejohn
October 8th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

#281 Niall – Maps, eh? How about memory maps? I read those for the sheer enjoyment of it.
gh
October 8th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Click Klat
Who’s there?
Margo.
Margo who?
Lu Ann, you have five seconds to open this fucking door or I will ram a paintbrush so far up your ass you’ll be painting nothing but raw umber still-lifes for the next five years.
bats :[
October 8th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

Angry Kem: congrats on the VSL nod! I had no idea what VSL was before you mentioned it, but anything that highlights your website AND “Cake Wrecks” is okay by me, and jillions of people ought to be reading it and investigating the sites of the day.

272. Skullturf: as a surname, Bourdon is most likely to have been derived from the Old French bourdon, meaning a pilgrim’s staff; but similar surnnames may have come from the Latin for mule or the Old English term for a butler or chambermaid. (All this comes from Reaney and Wilson’s Dictionary of English Surnames. ) I’m trying to figure pilgrim’s staff with prankery.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 8th, 2008 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

#269 – that’s quite informative, but Dinette Set is unmitigated crap. However limited the edition, it will not be limited enough.
Angry Kem
October 8th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

Bats: A Pilgrim’s Staff Has a Knob on the End?
Baka Gaijin
October 8th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: Good going, Mata Hari. Promise yourself you’ll keep your secret shame hidden from Chinbeard. You lasted, what, 20 seconds before spilling the beans like a pinata at a Sons of Mexico picnic.
Baka Gaijin
October 8th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Are pinatas full of beans? I’ve never opened one to see.
geogeek
October 8th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Fellow word geeks! I didn’t read the dictionary much while growing up, but I read so much other material that I had (still have) an outsized vocabulary without knowing it. This lead to many interesting misunderstandings when I used words others didn’t know and they would mishear it as something they did know. I’m learning to keep it under control, but I’m now a collector. Word of the week this week is “colubrine.”

In specialized vocab, I was teaching about siliceous ooze last night, and one of my students thought I said “salacious” – a word she recognized but didn’t know the meaning of. She kept saying “salacious ooze” during the lab, which is probably more interesting than “siliceous ooze.”

Hey, we should start a spin-off bunch of people playing on-line Scrabble or something!
Dingo
October 8th, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

Baka Gaijin, I like the title of a Second City season better: Piñata Full of Bees. It ranks up there with another of theirs called Somebody Get That Jewel Bag Out of That Tree.

Toby Cameron has the strength and resolve of a tower of tapioca. Warm tapioca. One foot inside the Hanoi Hilton and she would be screaming out every secret she knew. The Spanish Inquisition wouldn’t even get so far as knocking on the door. If she had been a Watergate burglar, she’d have called the Democratic Party herself.

Now, why do I have an image of Ian Cameron fucking Brad DeGroot over a chaise longue by the Charterstone pool while listening to Renata Tibaldi stuck in my head?
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
October 8th, 2008 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

288 — Where I come from, pinatas are full of candy, and the object is to open them in a violent manner.
Aitherion
October 8th, 2008 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

MW: So apparently Ian knows that you’re supposed to give a thumbs up when something is good, but isn’t quite sure what it’s supposed to look like.

And given the look on Toby’s face in the first panel, if he couldn’t see that something was wrong, he’d be both not married AND blind.
MT
October 8th, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

Does that mug say Anton’s House of Porn? I think it says Anton’s House of Porn! What, exactly, are they supposed to be “plugging”?
Muffaroo
October 8th, 2008 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

Calico @226 – Another reason for me to regret daily that I don’t live in Fort Collins any more (even if you meant U of C).

Angry Kem @228 – Whenever I see the word “japes,” by the way, my mind automatically fills in three more synonyms, “sard,” “swive,” and “occupy.” Your double meaning does make me laugh right loud. Oh, and “Bourdon” was always a cryptic word for one of the stops on an organ. (I see AhClem is on top of that one @249.) I read the dictionary and the encyclopedia. When I went to my friend’s house, I read his dictionary too — different end matter. (Sequitur @275 – Yes.)

Hogenmogen @253 – Ah, somebody did it better than I was going to. Nicely executed!

Buck Remus @269 – I’ve tried repeatedly to find something likeable about the Dinette Set. Sorry.
Muffaroo
October 8th, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

PClub – I wonder if this is what Jeremy’s girlfriend is going to look like in a few years.

PCity – Oh, a Girl. I thought we were going to find out she was a plugger. Possibly a plugger pig-child of some sort.

S4th – “Talk to her? No way! She’s always making references to those old sci-fi movies and she does crossword puzzles in ink!”

SFox – Perfect score today. This proves that, other indications notwithstanding, I am not a plugger.
Uncle Lumpy
October 8th, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

Buck, O-e W, Muffaroo who apparently no longer brunches –

Dinette Set has some funny stuff, usually printed on the coffee cups, posters, t-shirts or other ephemera. But the characters’ lazy satisfaction with their imagined hilariousness is intolerably grating. It’s like that other strip. The Canadian one.
Renee J
October 8th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

A3G: I think Haley looks like Mary Madeline and is going to break into “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” at any minute.
Annon
October 8th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

BG&SS Please, leave this child behind.
Jana C.H.
October 8th, 2008 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

#275 – Sequiter– Read atlases? I collect them! Who do you like better, Christopher Saxon or John Speed? A couple of years ago I made a map of the Olympic Peninsula (where I grew up in Washington State) in the style of Christopher Saxton. It was a prop for a Gilbert and Sullivan opera which took place in a strange Gilbertian version of the Middle Ages.

By the way, are you as annoyed as I am with at “atlases” that are mostly text and pictures with barely 10% maps? Arg!

And isn’t the Times Comprehensive Atlas of the World the most magnificent thing you’ve ever seen? Not just the most magnificent atles, but the most magnificent thing. I bought it for myself a few years back as a reward for having completed chemotherapy. I would have bought it anyway, chemo or no, but it was a good excuse.

Jana C.H.
Seattle
Saith JcH: Cartographers to it to scale.
Mr. O'Malley
October 8th, 2008 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

And just to fill things out, “fauxbourdon” is a technique of harmonization using parallel first inversion triads, popular with 15th century Burgundian composers such as Dufay and Binchois. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fauxbourdon)

Probably it comes from the “buzzing of a bee” meaning.

An English variant of the same technique is called “faburden”, popularized by Dunstable, who may possibly have studied with Dufay.
Ghost Who Hemorrhages
October 8th, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

Zits: Jeremy maybe fantasizes about a university that has a hookah bar on-campus. Of course, he’s also so clueless that he probably thinks a hookah bar is something like a stripper pole.
Mr. O'Malley
October 8th, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

269. Buck Remus. The University of Illinois alumni newsletter recently featured a profile of Julie Larson, author of Dinette Set. Evidently her characters were inspired by her sojourn in central Illinois.
Muffaroo
October 8th, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

Uncle Lumpy @296 – Actually, I was taking those into account.

Ghost Who Hemorrhages @301 – There used to be a radio ad for Maudie’s, a sort of chain of headshops in the 70s, with the following dialogue:

Maudie (sassy old lady voice): …Do you know what a six-hose hookah is?
Straight Man: A Polish motorcycle?
M: No, you silly putty! It’s a water pipe!
SM: Who’d want to smoke water?
M: I bet you’d try, Lippo! You smoke tobacco in it! Or carpet fuzz! Or your milkman! Or anything you want!…
Muffaroo
October 8th, 2008 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

Gfield – (”I think I hear a cat breathing into the phone. That must mean Jon says yes.”)

GAlley – So the next plotline is going to be about how ~~Cletus~~ Rufus finds a valuable painting and clumsily destroys it before the snooty beret-wearing art collector can buy it. Hang onto your hats, folks.

GThorp – Yes, Dear Reader, ironically enough, 55 is 88’s brother! Also 33’s their dad, and 99’s their mom.
Angry Kem
October 8th, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

#300 Mr. O’Malley: Ah-ha! Your mention of “burden” rang some bells in my head. The “burden,” in English, is the bass part of a harmony (the other parts are the “mean” and the “treble”). My trusty online Middle English dictionary theorises that the English version of “fauxbourdon,” “faburdoun,” may just have come first.

Map-lovers: I don’t always talk about the Middle Ages–I swear–but have you ever checked out any medieval world maps? The T-maps are especially fun. Here’s one with Christ at the top and the monstrous races crowded over in Africa (north is on the left, not at the top). At the very centre of the world is…Jerusalem.

These sorts of maps weren’t meant to be realistic; they were telling a story as much as anything else.

Er…this is extremely off topic, isn’t it? Okay…I’ll tell you what I told my class last week: a medieval world map is actually more like a comic than a map. It is also much more interesting than anything that has ever appeared in Marmaduke.
Seismic-2
October 8th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

#305: Map-lovers: Well, when everyone else here was reading the encyclopedia or the dictionary as a kid, I was reading the world atlas. Also the World Almanac and Book of Facts, My mother (true story!) tells me that once when I was about 5 years old, I interjected into a conversation the exact number of Indians living in Delaware.

I was almost as popular a kid as the new girl in SF.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 8th, 2008 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

Dinette Set has some funny stuff, usually printed on the coffee cups, posters, t-shirts or other ephemera.
Nah, that stuff sucks too. But even if it didn’t, if it were really stunningly witty and – look, this is so hypothetical I’m not even going to bother thinking up more complimentary adjectives, the whole point is it sucks – even then, that would be a justification for whatsername making coffee cups, posters, t-shirts, and other ephemera. But not a comic strip (because the comic strip part of the comic strip, which is to say all of it, is a steaming moose dump.)
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 8th, 2008 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

To be clear: I do not like Dinette Set.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 8th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

Also, PeteMoss (#80) is totally spot-on about that lady looking like the orange-furred, sneaker-wearing loony tunes monster. It’s uncanny.
Mountain Mama
October 8th, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

I would read through the encylopedia as well. Maps used to bored me until I got to travel a little. Now I like to look at them.

As far as the comics go, meh, the lot of them. I can’t even work up enough energy to hate Mary Worth these days. Toby is a drama queen and an idiot.
Dingo
October 8th, 2008 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

I concur with others that The Dinette Set is a heaping helping of heaving moose poop. I’d say that the author phones it in but, in reality, it seems more like telegraph.
Seismic-2
October 8th, 2008 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

#311: “I concur with others that The Dinette Set is a heaping helping of heaving moose poop.” You betcha!!!
Muffaroo
October 8th, 2008 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

FWbean – “Don’t… no worries, it’s okay,” “…Death, after all,is part of life. A beautiful part of life. I dare say it’s the part of life we all yearn for, night and day. Am I right, Funky?”

H&Jamaal – The moral of our story is never to upset a giant chicken in drag.

MTrail – Suddenly, a tiny tree shrew popped up, favoring the unsuspecting duo with the merest menacing glance, and then was gone forever, possibly to be replaced one day by an identical-looking shrew in the same exact position. The end.

MWorth – “Oh, Ian, I was identity thefted! I’m not even sure I’m me any more, or if I’m not me, who is me? And also, I almost lost $1.09.” “Don’t worry your pretty little… A DOLLAR NINE??? Are you out of your mind, woman?!”
Angry Kem
October 8th, 2008 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

I thought I had never read The Dinette Set. Then I looked it up and realised that it was a comic I had loathed since childhood and had completely blocked from my memory. I can’t imagine that being printed on a coffee cup would help it much.
Mountain Mama
October 8th, 2008 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

Oh! Mr. Pastis, I don’t know if you read this blog, but if your “Country Roads” thing the other day WAS some kind of shout-out, thank you. I enjoyed it very much.

Hello, your Grandest Immensity! Thanks for stopping by!

Where is Jamus? Where is SecretMargo? Dingo, how’s the job going? I may not get to post as much lately, but damnit, I CARE!
Vince M
October 8th, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

257: Oy, you should’ve been in Atlanta the past couple of weeks – long lines of cars for gas that was (and still is) sky-high priced, with lots of stations tapped out. It WAS the 70s, without the wide lapels and platform shoes.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 8th, 2008 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

“ A DOLLAR NINE??? Are you out of your mind, woman?!”
Read aloud with a porridge-thick Scottish brogue, this sounds incredibly realistic, far more so than any dialogue ever actually printed in Mary Worth.
huntingbyrd
October 8th, 2008 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

ha ha “unit” heheheh
I don’t understand why baldo would give a valintiene heart to his math teacher unless his math teachers hot but thats highly unlikely in baldo world.
Poteet
October 8th, 2008 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

# 16 Little Guy & # 19 gh — Thanks! If it weren’t for you, I might have missed both His Utter Galactic Gloriousness AND our Pope in boxers. *swoon*
Poteet
October 8th, 2008 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

# 315 — Hi, Mountain Mama! Always good to see a post from you!
Calvin N. Hobbes
October 8th, 2008 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

Long time-reader, first time post:

It appears Chinbeard lied to his Bimbette; he was never in Chicago. From a real-life TV newsletter I subscribe to, this was posted yesterday:

IAN CAMERON has been named executive producer of ABC News This Week with George Stephanopoulos. Cameron will oversee production and editorial content of the Sunday morning public affairs show. For the past seven years Mr. Cameron has served as the Washington senior producer for ABC’s World News with Charles Gibson. There he produces content for the evening news broadcast and provides editorial direction for its Washington news coverage. Cameron began his career at ABC News in 1998 as a producer for World News with Peter Jennings, where he managed an investigative team of reporters and led the editorial direction for the show’s popular Your Money segments.

And speaking if Chinbeard, who the hell talks like that???
queek
October 8th, 2008 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

put me firmly in the “Dinette Set SUCKS” camp.

The local fishwrapper only has it on Sundays, but I’ve refused to even look at it for years. This puts it in the same category as “Cathy” when it was still in the local paper as “too awful to even consider reading.”

Its target audience seems to be those too unsophisticated to appreciate trips to Branson or the local Native American casino shows. Just sayin’.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 9th, 2008 at 12:53 am [Reply]

As I’ve said before, Dinette Set is the Plugger Zippy the Pinhead.
Canuckguy
October 9th, 2008 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

Luann: Bom-chicka-wow-wow!
katzenjammer kid
October 19th, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

A *real* plugger would have mugs that read Enron, Washington Mutual and Lehman Brothers.

Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors.

Archives:

Comment of the week:

Main navigation:

Main content:

Tuesday one-liners

325 responses to “Tuesday one-liners”

Leave a Reply

All the cool kids…

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery