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Mary Worth … on … ice!

Mary Worth, 10/13/08

Well, Toby Cameron’s Big Identity Theft Adventure, having been beaten to death with a bludgeon of love and understanding and openness, has finally gasped its last; today, without even the foreplay of a Charterstone Pool Party, we’re thrust rudely into our next storyline, which is: Mary and Jeff watch TV. Taste the thrills! Who do these people think they are, characters in Spider-Man?

Anyway, it’s hard to predict where a Mary Worth storyline is going to go based on its opening moments — who could have foreseen that an innocent lunch with Mary would have led Toby down the road to credit card fraud and shameful kilt-porn purchases? — but based on today’s strip I’m hoping that we’ll get back to my favorite theme in this strip, which is the humiliation of Dr. Jeff. “Frank Griffin? I haven’t seen him in ages, since that time I refused to let him get past second base! But that was before I realized that he was a famous person, on TV. Hmmm, if I make good time I could be at the skating competition in less than two hours … Jeff, don’t wait up, dear.”

Curtis, 10/13/08

Key questions about today’s Curtis:

  • Why is Curtis, whose main interest in Christianity seems to be in the outrageousness of the hats worn by the ladies at the church he attends, so excited about a book of Old Testament lore?
  • Why is Curtis, who is old enough to be a seething cauldron of lust-hormones, so excited about finding a children’s book?
  • Could there possibly have been an even more awkward way to introduce the concept of Noah’s Ark into this conversation?
  • What kind of pagan terrorist Lord of the Rings-based religion do they practice on Flyspeck Island, and why haven’t we clamped down on immigration from this breeding ground for un-American weirdos?
  • Did Curtis’s ass sigh in the final panel? Seriously?

Spider-Man, 10/13/08

Yes, that’s right, Jonah — Maria, who is a successful and attractive television personality, can’t afford her own food, so obviously the only way she can avoid starvation is to accept dinner invitations from irritating blowhards with terrible haircuts and Hitler mustaches. And of course, if you’re so desperately famished that what you want is a free meal with which you can gorge yourself as quickly as possible, what you’re going to order is the lobster.

The sad thing is that this is by far the most interesting of the current Spider-Man storylines.

Blondie, 10/13/08

This wouldn’t be such a big deal if not for the fact that this is the only outfit that Dagwood owns.

166 responses to “Mary Worth … on … ice!”

  1. Tweeks_Coffee
    October 13th, 2008 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    I really don’t think that’s a lobster Maria’s eating anyway. It appears to be some horrifying Crab/lobster crossover. Crabster?

  2. Erich
    October 13th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    An “ork”? Is this a reference to “Mork and Mindy,” or does Billingsley not know how to spell the word for a troll-like monster? Either way, this looks like a horrible start to a story arc. Or a story orc.

  3. Eau de Plugger
    October 13th, 2008 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    That last panel of Curtis is really just Mark Trail sighing off camera. Or maybe Mark is in Curtis’s ass.

    I’m sorry I just said that.

  4. spike
    October 13th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    MW: Mary can only afford a black & white set?

  5. teddytoad
    October 13th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    And what terrifying serial killer cuts the pictures out of a children’s book anyway? Will he be joining this strip in time to stop Gunk’s fanciful and humorless reimagining of Noah and his (*hee-hee*, get this, it’s almost Dolly-esque) Ork?

  6. DavidMac
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Personally, I LIKE a woman with lots of “appetite” . . .

  7. Edgy DC
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Don’t knock this Blondie storyline. Tomorow’s begins, “Uh, Blondie, you seem to have mustard stain on your chest.”

    “Uh, yeah, I can’t imagine how it got there.”

  8. True Fable
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    C’haft After a couple of weeks of showing how sensitive and considerate he used to be, we’re back to seeing C’haft as the World’s Foremost Asshat as usual.
    FC “And Daddy, if you die, will Mr. Flagston be our new daddy instead of just pretending to be when he’s with Mommy?”
    FW What does it say about me when I laughed at today’s strip? I can’t feel sorry for Les for flashing a wad of cash in a cigar box and then leaving it in a backpack while he wanders off to reminisce with friends. The man’s a maroon.
    JP ‘Bye, Dixie. Say hello to SuperCedric and Busty Duncan for us when you get to Worthwhile but Tragically Ignored Guest Characters Land.
    Luann Oh noooo. Not Gunther’s Dressmaking plot again.
    MT Mark’s getting mighty friendly with the purdy stranger, isn’t he? He must miss Sam Hill a bunch!
    MW “Frank Griffin? Why, I thought I thoroughly broke his spirit and destroyed his self-assurance years ago! To the Meddlemobile!”
    Phantom Okay, even IF I can be led to believe that somehow the Ghost-Who-Ignores-Biologica-odds is somehow immune, I hope he realizes that the odds that his wife and kids back in Adventureland, probably aren’t. Hope you really enjoyed your wild rides back on the oil platform, Kit, because you ain’t gettin’ any of that again.

  9. Andy Panderer
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Archie – Mr. Lodge has his personal newspaper is printed on 36×72 Masonite every day. How quaint that he’s concerned about Veronica’s shopping habits. Asshole.

  10. gnome de blog
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    I wonder if Dixie Julep ever wears anything that covers her navel. At least Eduardo acknowleges she has one. I don’t suppose we’ll ever find out if she has nipples.

  11. Bootsy
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Edgar Lee Muffaroo (several threads ago), I love you! Toon River Anthology was inspired.

  12. Baron Bizarre
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Wait, Snuffy Smith’s mother is still alive? She must be 150 years old!

  13. dreadedcandiru2
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    #8 : True Fable — I can’t feel especially sorry for Les either. Not only did he open himself up to getting robbed, you just know he’s going to spend the rest of the week channeling Elly Patterson and whine “Why would somebody steal something I went out of my way to point out?”

  14. Andy Panderer
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    BB A hint of Walker family psycho-drama that should not be included in a daily strip.

    DtM Dennis becomes a Republican. Discuss.

    DT “Are you nuts, braces?” Greatest line ever.

    FC Just plain creepy.

    ReFOOB It sucked 30 years ago. Guess what Lynn? It still sucks. Thank the Editor that your crap is being dumped by every major newspaper in the region

  15. Idols of Mud
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: In J. Jonah Jameson’s defense, being a beautiful and successful television personality won’t get you many dates when the National Enquirer publishes pictures of you stuffing half a lobster, shell and all, into your mouth. Maria Bartiromo’s not such a catch if she’s spotted in Soho trying to shove a whole duck in her mouth.

  16. Cherie
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    MW – It’s time for Mary to start borrowing Jeff’s Grecian Formula.

  17. Smokehouse
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    Jonah is going to have more problems than his date’s insatiable hunger when he has to reveal that he’s accidentally glued his hand to his chin.

  18. cubical monkey
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    I’ve got one more question about today’s Curtis. What the hell is the punch line? Ork? Is the joke so lame I’m missing it or what?

  19. gnome de blog
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Aside to Truman Fable:
    Check out the cartoon caption contest on the back page of the October 13 issue of the New Yorker.

  20. Andy Panderer
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    FW “It’s GONE!!”

    “What’s gone?”

    “The CANCER. LISA’S CANCER. I WAS GOING TO GIVE IT TO EVERYONE! DAMMNITALL!! FUNKY – HELP ME!!”

  21. Stephen
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    I guess the secret to being a successful television personality is eating nothing but scale models of the Tim Burton Batmobile.

  22. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    “We have the story of Adam and Eve, too — but instead of being tempted by a serpent, it was a FLURPENT!”

    “We also have the story of Moses and the Ten Commandments, but instead of stone tablets, they were ZABLETS!”

    Holy crap.

  23. Angry Kem
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Dagwood’s dissolving jacket is really a medieval allegory.

    Josh: I’ll save Poteet’s Anal Twin the trouble of pointing out that you have bid us “Taste the trills.” It is possible, of course, that there is some crazy, crazy flute music involved in that TV programme, but I’m guessing probably not.

    reFoob: Dear LJ: Are you aware that your Saturday comic completely negates the effectiveness (and, in fact, the logic) of your Monday comic? Or do you simply no longer care?

    MW: The last storyline ended with a musical interlude. Where’s the swelling orchestra at the beginning of the next one? (Of course, there may be a flute.)

  24. messybessy
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Do you get Drabble by Kevin Fagin? I must say I got a smile out of Norman in the grocery cart seat, and how often do you get a smile out of the comics?

  25. AtomicDog
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Slylock – Also, the crescent moon’s horns in the night sky never, ever point downwards.

  26. Poteet
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    S-M — Maria is kind of scary in that first panel. Her expression is like Cruella de Vil’s expression when she first saw the puppies.

  27. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

  28. Calico
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    #23 – Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! Hope all is better today.

    Mary is going to be peey-oh’d when she realizes she’s going to have go digital in January. Even she won’t be able to meddle her way out of that one.

    And speaking of people using other people’s debit cards, please give this a read – for real. I’m glad I always pay indoors.
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27085818/

  29. One-eyed Wolfdog
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Frank Griffin? I haven’t seen him for ages! It seems impossible that he could still be alive after so many years deprived of my wisdom and gentle yet incessant intervention in every aspect of his life, great or menial. Despite his apparent success, as signified by his appearance On Actual Television, he must be a miserable hull of a man. What ho! I shall right this wrong. Right after a good cup of tea.

  30. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    On my personalized Chron comics page, Judge Parker appears immediately above the Jumble. Note the first word to unscramble.

  31. Bucky\\\'s Wife
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Spiderman–Uh, I’m not sure that Maria’s insatiable hunger is for lobster, given the way she’s gripping that fellow and coming at it with parted lips. The question is, is Jonah crustacean enough to satisfy her?

  32. Uncle Lumpy
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Sure, on Flyspeck Island you have your thrills, but here at Charterstone we call them trills!

  33. mumbles
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    FW: I think Sneaky the Raccoon stole the money.

  34. Josh
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    #23 Angry Kem — Argh, I fixed. Curses upon you, words that are not the words I intend to type, but which are deemed legitimate by my spellchecker!

    Josh

  35. Digger
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Way to go, Frank Griffin. For years, you’ve managed to hide yourself from Mary Worth and her incessant meddling. Then you blow it all by making an appearace on TV (and on one of the 3 channels that Mary’s TV actually picks up, probably the Dumont network). She’s coming for you. Run, Frank, run!

  36. messybessy
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Do you think Curtis can read? Why wouldn’t he be interseted in a picture book?

  37. One-eyed Wolfdog
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    #30 – good things Dixie’s Julep is so singular; otherwise the Jumble would have us unscrambling SPLUJE.

  38. Uncle Lumpy
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    #30 SQB –

    And that’s not the only comics reference in today’s Jumble — the answer jumbles from the last quiz are

    POUND PLAID WOEFUL HAUNCH

    all about Les Moore’s sex life.

  39. Poteet
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    # 23 Angry Kem — Anal thanks you for doing that so entertainingly.

    Foob — LJ, wouldn’t it be easier for you to compile a very special collection of old strips called JOHN THE DICKHEAD, add a graphic-novel version of your divorce at the end (which might be fun for you to draw, given the way you talk in interviews), and then, having thus combined profit and therapy, go on a world cruise? A reeeeally long, relaxing world cruise?

  40. blammers66
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    FunkWink: Perhaps the theft of over a thousand dollars out of Les’ “cigar-box-in-a-back-pack” high-security storage system will lead to one of those late-night interventions in Montoni’s back office – only instead of eating pizza, everyone will just beat Les to death as the only way they can express their irritation with his years of moping and idiocy.

  41. Angry Kem
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    #28 Calico: I woke up this morning with an almost unbearable pain in my neck. I am currently incapable of turning my head to the right. I trust that answers your question.

    I think this long weekend may be cursed.

  42. Windier E. Megatons
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Curtis was excited because he thought it was some sort of erotic version of the Noah’s Ark story. Why else would he care that the pictures were cut out?

  43. Isaac
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    What makes Jonah’s wondering more pathetic is the fact SHE invited him for dinner, not vice versa. Maybe ol’ Jameson is finally going senile. If so, it’s going to lead to a lot of moments when he finds himself angry at Spiderman but can’t remember why.

  44. late2theparty
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Despite the destruction of his jacket, shirt and quite likely most of the muscle and skin on his forearm, it’s the loss of a perfectly good mustard stain that most upsets Dagwood.

  45. commodorejohn
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Edda and Amos discover a mystery worthy of an entire episode of Teletubbies.

    AS – Okay, in all fairness, I have to admit that today’s Argyle Sweater is actually pretty funny, and if it is ripped off of a Far Side cartoon, it’s at least not one I remember. And also, Hillburn actually bothered to draw Bigfoot as something like it’s been described rather than just a lanky gorilla. …did I wake up in Bizarro world this morning?

    BB – Beetle views Sarge as a mother figure? WHAT THE HELL PLEASE LET THERE BE ANOTHER INTERPRETATION THAT I MISSED

    Crankshaft – See, some people see Ed Crankshaft doing what he does and call him an awful human being. I see him doing his thing and I say he’s just a man trying to get by in the cruelest of all universes.

    Curtis – Wouldn’t it be awesome if Curtis were embarking on a retelling of the Miller’s Tale? Of course, Billingsley would never do that, and it would never get printed in the paper, but I can dream, can’t I?

    FW – Well, that’s what you get for leaving it unattended in Central Park, you dumbass. I’ve never even been to New York and I know that.

    GA – Okay, so now we’re going to go out on a storyline about how this painting is actually some lost masterpiece worth sixty gajillion dollars. But did Scancarelli forget that Rover already got filthy stinking rich in the last storyline, so much so that his wife tossed around four grand in the space of a couple days? Yeah, I think he probably did.

    GF – Now that that agonizingly drawn-out political storyline is over, I finally got a good laugh out of Get Fuzzy again.

    GT – I’m sorry, could I get some confirmation that what I’m seeing in the final panel is, in fact, what is actually in the final panel? I’m worried my visual center may have fried out or something.

    HOTC – Well this is different.

    JP – Dixie seems a little stockier than usual in the last panel.

    Luann – What Gunther isn’t telling her is exactly what kind of costume he’s talking about.

    MF – You read it here first, folks: gay hipster cavemen are responsible for the housing/lending crisis.

    MT – Obviously, Sue is counting on the Big Reveal to throw Mark off his guard during the inevitable confrontation. Darth Vader would be proud.

    MW – That would be because he died in 1953, Mary. Just because you’re immortal doesn’t mean everybody else is.

    MC – Click here to cause a rip in the time/space continuum.

    Norm – Pff, you think that’s complicated? Try working out the relationships in Ranma 1/2 some time.

    OBH – Unsurprisingly, goComics is running an alternate strip today. But what I’m trying to figure out is whether Detorie is doing the typical comic-author “you damn kids get off my lawn” thing, or smirkingly pointing out that impropriety is all a matter of perspective.

    Phantom – ‘Twould be a shame for the world to lose someone with such a kickass tattoo.

    Pluggers – Pluggers have astoundingly large gaps between their teeth.

    Popeye – WELL IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME.

    SF – I do so look forward to this.

    SFx – Woo-hoo, I figured it out! But it’s the last part of the solution that really makes this poignant; all he wants is some attention, people! Just because a man has pallid green skin and walks around in a hospital gown, society treats him like a non-person!

    SM – Holy cow, she’s looking at that lobster like Margo Magee espying a pile of money.

    Zits – Hey, Borgman and Scott, I know that it’s probably fairly easy to start thinking of things in terms of how you’d draw them, but…while some Pollock art does indeed look like black squiggles (though most of it is varicolored,) snot does not. Unless Tim here has been working in a coal mine, this comic makes no sense at all.

  46. Genetic_Mishap
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Looks like Curtis and Gunk, after swapping suspiciously similar religious parables, are about to have a creationist revelation and go toe-to-toe with Big Science(tm) and its Biblical-picturebook-defiling ways. Or maybe we’ll just be treated to a Curtis Kwanzaa Strip-esque crazy folktale. I’m hoping for the latter. Or both.

  47. TB Tabby
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    In today’s Slylock Fox, LOL News appears to have hired Florence Ambrose as their chief correspondent. At least she won’t have to worry about being greeted with “DOGGY!” everywhere she goes.

  48. Jumper
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    It’s too bad “Curtis” is a one-joke strip with little day-to-day continuity. A hauntingly brilliant fable, melding Lord of the Flies and Lord of the Rings, might await us. With Curtis as Ralphrodo and Gunk as PiggySam. But alas, it will never be.

  49. McManx
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Blondie — Is this the same Dagwood that walks to the table with both arms laden with cold cuts, bread, spreads, cheeses — everything you could possibly carry to make his signature sandwiches? Of course he would know how mustard would have gotten on his sleeve. If I were Blondie, I’d be testing that sleeve for other types of “stains”.

    MW — One normally holds the handle of a cup with at least the thumb and forefinger. Mary seems to have gained the power of levitation, suspending the cup in mid air while she makes her point.

  50. Frinkenstein
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    My ass sighed with relief when that ultra-boring-even-for-Mary-Worth story line ended. Or at least I think it was a sigh. Perhaps it was an exclamation point.

  51. Lithros
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    I was really hoping that spray was going to take Dagwood’s arm with it.

  52. Seismic-2
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    #12 – Remember that these are hillbillies, so Snuffy Smith’s mother is only 13 years older than he is. Oh wait, you’re right – that does make her at least 150.

  53. commodorejohn
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    #47 TB Tabby – Actually, she looks more like Rochelle from Newshounds, if you ask me. But props for the Freefall reference.

  54. Sequitur
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    34 spike:
    Mary does have a color TV but she prefers watching old newsreels from the 1950′s. Note the hair styles of the people on the set. (They must be from CBS or ABC. NBC did have color in the 1950′s).

  55. Sequitur
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    That should be #4 Spike.

  56. boojum
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    15. Idols of Mud:

    Maria Bartiromo’s not such a catch if she’s spotted in Soho trying to shove a whole duck in her mouth.

    I dont know — if she can get a whole duck in her mouth….

  57. Little A. Who NEver Really Left The Bronx
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Just some Monday general observations. None of which haven’t been mentioned here before I am sure.

    For whatever reason I can’t get The Houston Chronical Sunday funnies to show up (mabe you have to sign up separately?), so on Sunday I have to search individually, for the comics I want to read. And I have noticed that there are VERY FEW COMICS I really care to read — Doonesbury, Curtis. Chickweed Lane because I enjoy the artwork although still after a year of looking at it, can’t figure out who is who and what their relationships are to each other — I look at a handful of others during the week but don’t get a laugh out of very many. As a matter of fact Mark Trail is so stupid that it makes me laugh once in a while.

    Gil Thorpe has become artistically incomprehsible, aside from it being intellectually non-comprehensible.
    Most of the so-called funny strips are pathetically lame, Archie for instance. Momma is a lame scrawl. Luann approaches humorous once in a while. The current FOOB is terrible, not well-drawn, boring, not funny — pathetic.

    As for Gasoline Alley, I have looked at this for over 50 years and don’t want to stop, but it’s very disappointing.
    Bring Back Miss Melva! At least she was worth looking at, as she was usually falling out of her blouse, like Kim Rosenberg was when she and Michael Doonesbury were courting.

    Just a few thoughts. Most contemporary comics are terrible.

  58. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Get Fuzzy: I’m glad for the end of the political strips, but I worry that Bucky is becoming increasingly a one-dimensional, hateful character.

    Years ago, Satchel lost his watch, which distressed him greatly. One of the strip’s sweetest moments involved Bucky finding the watch for him, fixing it, and giving it to him as a gift. Today’s strip steps on that moment in order to make a “Bucky is an ass” gag

  59. commodorejohn
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    #57 Little A. – Use Dean Booth’s Sunday comics linker to get the color strips from the Chron. You can’t get the black-and-white funnies on Sunday, but many of those are available here.

  60. Paperback Rifler
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Loved the commentary, Josh; and I especially laughed at that crack about the “sighing ass.” I’m sure that Curtis is just incorporating one of Gunk’s Flyspeck Island customs in which the island residents sigh from their behinds and fart from their . . . eww. I bet that Flyspeck Island’s number one import is breath mints.

    Mary Worth: I like Frank Griffin’s uneasy expression in that last panel. It’s as though he’s thinking, “All of a sudden, I got a chill up and down my spine! It’s like a premonition that someone is about to meddle with me within an inch of my life!”

    Pluggers: See, the “organic floss” caption doesn’t really work since Mr. Dogman is using the wheat stalk more like a toothpick than dental floss. So that leads to the question, “What do Pluggers use for dental floss?” My guess would be, “licorice.”

    Snuffy Smith: Holy Toledo! Did we just witness the debunking of a particularly insipid English language cliché in SNUFFY SMITH?! Ye gods — it must be the apocalypse!

    MT: That is one big squirrel. I’m hopeful that soon we’ll be treated to a Sunday Mark Trail installment that talks about giant squirrels and gives fascinating factoids like “Giant squirrels oftentimes have trouble concealing their nuts.”

    One Big Happy: Today’s strip is exactly the sort of thing that could generate indignant letters to the editor about propriety and standards and things. How is a comics-carrying newspaper to avoid such outrage? As it turns out, all they have to do is turn to our old friend Popeye for a helping hand.

  61. Sequitur
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    #57 Little A. Who NEver Really Left The Bronx
    Good Snarf. By the way, I’ve been FOOB free for a week now and I feel teriffic!

  62. Brick Bradford
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    JP Extra Credit Quiz: How many days will it take for Dixie to walk out the front door? Show your work.

    MT The squirrel in the last panel seems very somber–as if it is thinking, “There will be blood–there will be a fist o’ justice”.

    MC I sure did a hell of a lot of clicking to figure out a fairly crappy joke.

  63. Sarah Marie
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: You know, for a minute I thought maybe Elly had left John, and the “new-runs” were going to be an alternate universe type story. But that would be interesting. :(

  64. StrangeRover
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: How is an “ass sigh” different from a fart? Discuss.

  65. Digger
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    So I guess Lisa’s Legacy is that she married a dumbass who waves around a box full of money and then leaves it unattended. My guess is that Funky stole the money as he is planning to use it to buy Les’ teenage daughter.

  66. Gojira
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    FW: Something doesn’t smell right here. “Lisa’s Legacy Walk” seems to be a fund-raising walk staged at Central Park in New York City, but it’s only sparsely attended by a small gaggle of Ohioans who surely spent ten times more to travel and stay in the city than the $1000+ raised. Also, the $1000+ seems to be cash only, collected on the spot, and kept in a cigar box.

    If you really want to set up a fund-raising event for cancer research, wouldn’t you stage it somewhere convenient for the contributors, advertise it better (press releases, at least a web page), get wider participation, set up mechanisms to process payments and contributions, and only accept checks, money orders, or credit card pledges?

    However, if you’re scraping by, single-fathering, forced to deliver pizzas at night after teaching all day, then exploiting your late wife’s cause of death to scam some money out of the neighbors who used to pick on you in high school so you can have some spending money for Christmas shopping might actually seem like a good idea. Still spent more than that to travel to NYC, but you can only expect so much thought process out of someone who’s still hallucinating visions of his ten-year-gone wife.

  67. bartleby
    October 13th, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    #64 — Curtis: How is an “ass sigh” different from a fart? Discuss.

    It’s not. I think it’s the representation of a “silent-but-deadly.”

    #8 — MW “Frank Griffin? Why, I thought I thoroughly broke his spirit and destroyed his self-assurance years ago! To the Meddlemobile!”

    I nominate “To the Meddlemobile!” as COTW.

    Also, I’m sure Lynn is not redrawing new strips in the old style. The whole recent series about Elly remarrying comes verbatim from one of her early collections. Does she not think that people won’t remember because they happened 20 years ago?

  68. Jimbo
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker–Isn’t that Ted Worth’s girlish hand in panel three?

  69. commodorejohn
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    #68 Jimbo – Ted Worth? Now there’s a frightening thought.

  70. Angry Kem
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    #67 bartleby: LJ is not trying to scam people; she has said that about half of the “new” strips will be reruns.

    Okay, okay…LJ is not trying to scam people in that particular way.

  71. Shoshi
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Yes, it does look like another “Mary in Heat” storyline, based on the worried sidelong glance that Dr. Jeff has in the second panel.

  72. trey le parc
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    MW: Today’s installment is missing a panel– in the missing panel, Frank Griffin freezes as a sense of impending dread washes over him. And then he stares directly out of the panel and directly at the reader and says “For the love of God, help me!”

  73. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    I can only assume that Maria’s dead, half-eaten lobster will manage to outwit Spider Man before this story arc is complete.

  74. Jimbo
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    My bad–Ted FORTH in panel TWO of Judge Parker

  75. Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    FW — I’ve got a fiver on Wally Jr. having stolen the money. After all, he’s the only person in Winkerville, OH to (1) not work at Montoni’s, and (2) not be involved in some sort of band fundraiser.

  76. Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    26, yesterthread by Angry Kem — I agree that Cory is also a good candidate, for the same reasons I’ve listed above.

  77. spike
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    #54, 55 Sequitur: Newsreels made a bigger impact in the movie theaters when I was a wee tyke aeons ago.

    I can only wonder now how many days of “exposition” we’ll have before this new Mary Worth saga gets under way…see any “red flags” yet, Dr. Jeff?

  78. spike
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    FW: Is this how Batiuk finally brings back Wally, Sr. after all this time?

  79. One-eyed Wolfdog
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    As it happens, I actually had looked up wikipedia on wikipedia (probably because you can click on the big Wikipedia on the front page and it takes you there), but this is all beside the point of today’s strip. The point of today’s strip was (I will spell it out for you): three panels of Maureen, including a patently & ridiculously cute expression in panel 3. If you’re complaining about the joke, you’re missing the point.

  80. T. Chicana
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    MW: I just cannot wait to see how Mary is going to use this Frank Griffin person to emasculate Jeff somehow!

    FW: Maybe I missed something, but I never got the sense that this was in Central Park in NYC…? I thought it was a park in their hometown. If it really is in New York, participated in by people who had to travel to get there and pay for all that, it truly is the dumbest. fundraiser. evarrrrrr.

  81. One-eyed Wolfdog
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Also #73 is going to be in the COTW lineup or I will eat my hat mostly non-existent pride. (Which isn’t much of an offer now I look at it but I don’t have a hat.)

  82. Calico
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    #41 – Ow-well, that blows.
    I think you may be reading too much Foob and Funky Winkerbean. They do that kind of thing, you know.

    Feel better soon.

  83. Baron Bizarre
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    As far as FOOB goes, I’m still holding out for a storyline in which a 40 year old April comes back through time with a phased plasma rifle and starts going slaughtering everyone in sight.

  84. Hogenmogen
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Curtis and His Talking Anus: There shouldn’t be quotes around “ark”.

    GF: This strip seems deja vu to me. Anyone else get that? I couldn’t begin to go through daily when the original might have been, but I’m almost certain that within the past two or three years, this same joke was thrown in.

  85. Hogenmogen
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    #83- Baron – I vote that April comes down through time and prevents her own birth.

    Think Finky Wunkerbean is depressing? The current story line in Between Friends involves teen pregnancy, wife abuse, squandered potential, lonliness and an accident resulting in a miscarriage. It’s like fast forwarding to what Liz and Anthony are ten years on.

  86. Mogalike
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Next week: Gunk begins building his shrine to Gork..or Mork.. or both..

    Then the WAAAAGH! begins.

  87. Baron Bizarre
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    #85: I think slaughtering everyone in sight years before she was born would do that. Assuming she made sure to get parents, that is. Even better would be if she got them all, and realized she still existed: “I knew it I KNEW IT! I was NEVER REALLY one of THEM!”

  88. Calico
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    #71 – She’ll have to get her hot self right down to the skating rink to cool off with Frank, then. Or melt some ice the way she could have with Ron Amalfi before she blew him off like an autumn leaf falling from a tree.

    I’ll bet we will have to go on for two weeks about how Mary used to be a great skater, almost got to the Olympics, etc. etc. Zzzzzzz.

  89. kris
    October 13th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    jp…i think the dog is the reason behind the whole murder, not dixie. i think dixie shot him for the dog.

  90. GotFuzzy
    October 13th, 2008 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Hogenmogen, you’re correct. If you look at the copyright date between the panels, you can see that it’s from 2005.

  91. CanuckDownSouth
    October 13th, 2008 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    MW I didn’t know they even made back & white flat-screen TVs

  92. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 13th, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    FW: “Lisa’s Legacy Walk” is a bit uninspired for a title, but at least it doesn’t fall to the level of a local mother-daughter walk-a-thon to raise money for breast cancer research that’s been heavily advertised here is eastern Pennsylvania. I really have to wonder why noone looked at the posters and said “Maybe ‘Get Your Girls Out For The Cure’ can be interpreted in more than one way?”

    “Are you sure this is a cure?”
    “Yes it is. Just rub it in a little. I’ll help.”

  93. Hogenmogen
    October 13th, 2008 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    #58 – Calvin – Yeah, Bucky is getting a little bit too hateful all the time. Maybe we should see a softer side, like if he has a story arc of when he was a mere kitten and he helped out a ferret baseball player… Nah, no one would believe that.

    Funky: Know what would be cool? If the guys who mugged Les pre-time-jump came back and beat up the guys who stole the money. But then the muggers blow it on drugs from A3G’s answer to Maynard G. Krebbs. Yah, that would be cool.

  94. Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
    October 13th, 2008 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    spike@4
    No, Mary Worth had a black and white TV because she’s OLD, get it? She’s had the same TV since 1978.

    When did B&W TVs go off the market, anyway?

  95. Pozzo
    October 13th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    The only reason I can think of for cutting the pictures out of a “Noah’s Ark” children’s book is that you’re so far right religiously that you consider drawings of Noah and the various animals to be “graven images.” Of course, if that’s the case, the entire world must offend you. This would naturally lead to the “religious cultist on top of a building with a high-powered rifle” storyline, but I can’t decide if I’d be rooting for Curtis or Gunk to be the first victim.

  96. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 13th, 2008 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    #93 – HogenMogen – How about if Darby Conley stopped writing new strips and just “reimagined” earlier strips, with the content and artwork subtly changed, all to emphasize that Bucky was a total ass the whole time?

    No, noone would stand for that.

  97. Tom
    October 13th, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Did Brad and Toni do the deed? They can’t do that to me. Brad will be a virgin forever, but Toni will continue to raise her “niece” alone always hoping for the right man to come along. So what is it going to be Brad and TJ?

  98. Gojira
    October 13th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    #80 T. Chicana re: FW location: I stand corrected. Last year, Les and Summer’s cancer walk was set in Central Park, NYC. To make it more confusing, Lisa had a favorite local park bench (where she modeled this year’s T-shirt) and there’s a “Lisa’s Bench” in Central Park. To be fair, they did establish last year that there’s a “Lisa’s Legacy Walk” back home and the staging spot there seems to be the same as this year’s.

    However, we may need to add getting robbed to Lisa’s Legacy.”

  99. Bribaby
    October 13th, 2008 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    I’ll bet Lynn the skating phenom turns out to be Mary’s out-of-wedlock child…she chucked the newborn to Frank out of a moving vehicle as she high-tailed it to Charterstone, screaming “No baby’s gonna cramp my meddling style!”

  100. appleboy
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    #68 Jimbo: WaPo’s Comic Riffs said the exact same thing this morning about ol Ted:
    http://voices.washingtonpost.com/comic-riffs/2008/10/the_morning_line_the_gotcha_ca.html#comments

  101. JH Pants
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Will someone please chop off Cathy’s feet already?

  102. The Sparrow
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    #1 Tweeks: I have to agree with you there. I looked at that would-be crustacean and decided that they either decided to serve one whole lobster with an extra set of claws from another, or it’s simply some horrible lumpy lobster mutant. With no clear head. And a… Spriggina‘s body and… no legs?? Argh, seriously, what is it?! As someone who studies these creatures and its ilk for a living, I am perplexed. And annoyed. Because I also love to eat lobster, and that, my friends, sure as hell ain’t no lobster.

    #92 Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Ha ha! Wow, that’s almost as bad as a series of yogurt commercials that ran a few years ago… possibly Yoplait? Whatever, the promotion was that every time you bought a container of this yogurt and sent the tops back to the company, they would donate some amount to breast cancer research. The slogan? “Together, we can lick breast cancer.” Cuz y’know, people tend to lick the yogurt lids, and lick can also mean “beat” … aaaaand I’m just going to stop there. I mean seriously, don’t the geniuses in marketing even begin to think about the connotations here?? Oh wait– maybe they did.

  103. Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    102 — The Sparrow — You just used “geniuses” and “marketing” in the same sentence. ’nuff said.

  104. Foolster41
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    SM: I don’t quite get what that thing is in the last panel attached to her fork. It looks like there’s a hexagon-shaped tile, or is that a poorly drawn hand? Do people really eat lobster by holding their hand to the other side of the food?

    Curtis: If it’s “Orc” then how does it make sense? How does one use a “normal” sized fantasy humanoid as a aquatic vehicle? I have no idea why there would be pictures cut out unless it’s leading somewhere more than a one-shot groaner.

  105. spike
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    #94 Li’l Bunnë FooFoo: I purchased a B&W TV set (new) back in 1989. It still works, and will continue to do so until 2/19/09, when the Digital Transmission finally kicks in.

  106. bats :[
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    39. Poteet: maybe the loonnnng world cruise for LJ can involve Somalian pirates? Huh? Please? Pleeeeeeeease?!?

    Has it really been determined that the Lisa Legacy walk was in NYC? I thought Les just went there to masturbate meditate on Lisa’s bench about the t-shirt design, but that the walk itself was in Winkerville. I suspect that most large cities with Breast Cancer walks this month are calling them Susan Komen events anyway…

    MW: “Frank Griffin! I haven’t seen him in ages! Not since he knocked me up, and I left him with our bastard daughter the day after I gave birth to her…and I could hear him crying, ‘Don’t leave us, Mary! Don’t leave me…and…and…little Lynne!’ *Gasp!*”
    JC: “Hey, how ’bout some nachos? I feel like some nachos!”

  107. Ace Diamond
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    In the defense of Curtis, Ork is the correct spelling, assuming you play Warhammer/Warhammer 40k.

    Which I am betting Gunk does not.

  108. Ubiq
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    And Father Noah did address his sons by speaking unto them:
    Oi, stop loadin’ dem aminals and get to bringin’ in da dakka a’ready, ya stupid grots!
    An’ Ham, ya start slappin’ dat red paint onna hull so dis t’ing will move faster and donn stop til I sayz so!

  109. Duckman30
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    MW – “Frank Griffin? I haven’t seen him for ages! The last time I saw him he was roaring off on a zamboni while drinking schnapps and headed for the river. The authorities said the ice broke and they never found his body. Well, I’m glad they were wrong. How about scampi at the Bum Boat tonight?”

  110. bats :[
    October 13th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Maybe at Chez Spideyville, the specialty of the house is giant isopods.

    There. I said it.

  111. fashion police
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    I do not want to think about Mary Worth in a skating dress.

  112. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Actually, I didn’t think of LOTR, but rather “Mork and Mindy.” Gunk is basically a grade school Mork to begin with, so it’s a natural progression. And as for Curtis’ ass: yes, I’m afraid it did.

    A3G: Boy, Lu Ann sure has been given a lot to think about. I guess we can all learn something from Skany Drug Ho.

    FW: Well that really sucks, but that’s life in the funky lane.

    H&J: Herb and Sarah’s sex life, long on life support, finally breathes its last.

    FC: That’s generally not a question kids ask. If his eyes are closed for more than a tenth of a second, just do it.

    MC: Actually, I’ve looked up “Wikipedia” on Wikipedia, and nothing disastrous happened. Looking up “Wikiquote” on Wikiquote, on the other hand…

    HtH: Does Grandpa realize that Medieval barbers (back me up on this, Angry Kem) don’t primarily cut hair. That their first duty is to bleed sick people? This reads like a Nordic cry for help to me.

    GT: Okay, props to Ruben and Whigham for an amusingly nutty side-trip.

    Marvin: I can’t snark this one too hard because the idea of a baby search engine is kind of charming. I imagine most results would be pictures of stuffed animals and oatmeal on the wall.

    SFx: Whatever town Slylock lives in, it must be a fun place to be. Imagine, the media is so gullible you can be the top story on the evening news just by gluing a pie plate to a black velvet Elvis painting. Really, Count Weirdly has gotten further than he could have dreamed in most places.

  113. Islamorada Girl
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    MW: I am thinking we’re about to get a storyline about an obsessive sports dad who controls his ice rink princess daughter’s every move when she just wants to be. . . a normal kid. Mary sees a meddling opportunity and steps right in. I predict this story will drag out until at least Christmas.

    Wah, wah, wha, wha.

  114. Islamorada Girl
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Maria can work it like a claw and call it Randy.

  115. mere cog in the machine
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    36: I actually spent Saturday night in bed with my dog, reading a circa 1967 pictorial history of the Civil War from cover to cover. But of course, I am wild, crazy, and living life in the fast lane.

  116. MARTHAS ROLLING PIN
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    #110, I was thinking of it, but couldn’t come up with the word.

  117. Gojira
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    #106 bats :[ re: FW: In #98, I guess I didn’t make my conclusion clear: “Lisa’s Legacy” Walk is an annual event set in Funkytown, Ohio (wherever this strip is set). However, last year, to commemorate the 10th anniversary of Lisa’s death, Les and Summer participated in the “Making Strides Against Cancer” Walk at Central Park, while the rest of the townsfolk handled the “LL” Walk.

    Got confused about this year’s setting because, with all the focus on Central Park as a Lisa-related location last year, when the current arc started off in a park, I jumped to conclusions.

    Whether in Central Park or Funkytown Park, Les still gets robbed, so Batiuk’s main point still shines through: Life sucks, then you die.

  118. cheech wizard
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    Big Dog – Due to the limitations of the one-panel, B&W format, you miss out on the shrieks of terror and smell of blood in the air as the kids enter Marmaduke’s personal slaughterhouse, each bearing a “pool toy” that will become individual sausage casings. No wonder Marmaduke looks so happy.

    DtM – Given Dennis’ coy expression and his teacher’s wry smile, 5+4=8 is code for some sort of sexual proposition.

  119. cheech wizard
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    FW – No doubt Les’ hyperresponsible daughter picked up the box so something like this wouldn’t happen.

  120. Calico
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    #110 – I wanted to say that all day, but resisted.
    Great minds think alike, I always say.
    Time for a Bats Mashup®? Pleeeaase?

  121. Jym
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    =v= MW: While we’ve been watching Toby whimper and bawl for the last month or so, Dr. Jeff the Elder has clearly dyed the grey out of his hair.

    =v= Curtis: A seething cauldron of a certain variety of lust-hormones might well turn to an animal picture book in despair after a months-long absence of Cassandra Cat from the panels of SFx.

  122. gh
    October 13th, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    #119 cheech wizard –

    I was thinking the old couple who commented on it earlier, for the same reason.

    Can you get lung cancer from touching a cigar box? ‘Cause then if Cory did it, it would be His Comeuppance, and if Summer or the couple did, it would be Tragic Irony. Then, we could all smirk.

  123. Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
    October 13th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Jeff is back! Yay! I can’t wait to see what humiliating position he will be put in this time. I can’t wait to root for him once again to get some balls and stand up for himself, only to be crushed under Mary’s iron, calcium-deficient fist, walked away defiantly, with his arms crossed, standing up to “the biddy,” only to come crawling back, begging, on his knees, like a dog. It’s going to be so wacky!

  124. mumbles
    October 13th, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    #113: Islamorada Girl – yes, that’s the worst case scenario. The best case scenario would involve a rival skater’s knee getting the business end of a tire iron, with Mary explaining how nobody wins except bad sportsmanship when we resort to violent sabotage of our rivals. But even under that scenario, this’ll last until Christmas.

  125. Michael
    October 13th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    A3G Of course there’s nothing in that studio for you, Luann. Alan’s dope was all used up.

    Arlo & Janis There’s a few things wrong with Columbus being the Western Hemisphere’s first real estate developer.

    1, There already were inhabitants in the place.
    2. Columbus thought he’d made it to the Indies. In fact, he died in 1506 thinking that. His interests were trade and a bit of slave taking, not real estate.
    3. Eric the Red and his son, Lief Ericson, were genuine real estate developers 500 years before Columbus. Eric gave Greenland its name as an advertising gimmick.

    Yes I am a historian and a pedant. Why do you ask?

  126. Daveh
    October 13th, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    Re Curtis: I know why Curtis’ as sighed. Un-funny comics give me gas too. (Which is why I can’t pick up the paper in the proximity of my family).

  127. Carly
    October 13th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    I think today’s Curtis beats every misplaced balloon in Mark Trail ever. Or, perhaps, it is a subtle reference to this cartoon.

  128. Violet
    October 13th, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    Upon being presented with the opening salvos of new storylines in both Mary Worth and Curtis, I am utterly torn as to which I have less interest in seeing where it’s going. It’s somewhat akin to trying to figure out if you’d rather freeze to death or be burned at the stake.

  129. True Fable
    October 13th, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    #19 gnome de blog – GOAT! Goat captions! I sent one in but you know me, I never get far in contests. Ah, but what does it matter? There were GOATS!!

  130. bats :[
    October 13th, 2008 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    120. Calico: I’d really have to think hard about that, as I don’t follow Whinerman at all. (Hell, I didn’t see the movies, that’s how much I don’t follow the strip.)

    On the other hand, I do follow figure-skating, but my interest in it may plummet sooner than later:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2939756256/sizes/o/

    (Gojira, thanks for bringing me up to speed on where LL walk is/was/will be. Maybe a bum purloined the cash box, hoping for some fine Cuban seegars, and will be mightily annoyed when he finds only U.S. currency in it…)

  131. gnome de blog
    October 13th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    #129 True:

    I didn’t even crack open at my New Yorker until last night, and I drew a blank on the caption because all I could think of was, “holy capra aegagrus hircus, wait ’til Truman Fable sees this!

  132. Amanda
    October 13th, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    I think that what we can gather from Blondie is that Dagwood wears an edible suit. Take from that what you will.

  133. Muffaroo
    October 13th, 2008 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    AD – Ah, the old switcheroo. I was expecting a repeat of the decades-old “it’s an eatanter” gag.

    DTracy – I think Braces’ plan is to talk about his plan until the Genesis Corporation goes broke and returns to the dust from whence it came, and then claim victory.

    Dbury – Jeez, how the mighty have fallen! Award-winning reporter Rick has only been out of work for less than a week, and already he’s looking for blog scoops from “Jon.” Keep the front page open, we just got a scoop about a lasagna-loving cat who hates Mondays, and you just won’t believe how big his feet are!

    HtHorrible – I honestly don’t remember. Is Grandpa Twig-Hat making a first appearance, or has he just been in the strip every day for years and I failed to notice him?

    MTrail“I’m sure our paths will cross again, Mark!” “I’m sure they will, too. And remember, wherever you go, the squirrels.. will be… watching.”

    Mduke – “Yeah, they’ve been going in all day. Come to think, I haven’t seen one come out yet.”

    Phantom – The doc’s a ton of fun at parties! Tug an earring and the light comes on.

    Pluggers like the taste of insecticide.

    R=R – I see she’s leaning on the “stuck for a new idea” tree again.

    SFox – Answer on page 117! Oh, sorry. That’s where the answer always was when I saw this puzzle in Children’s Digest, though.

  134. Muffaroo
    October 13th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    Skullturf Q. Beavispants @22 – For the win. Holy crap, indeed!

    Paperback Rifler @60“What do Pluggers use for dental floss?” From the looks of their teeth, probably shoestring.
    re: 1BHappy – Ah, good old Crack! Is there nothing in this world that doesn’t benefit from your timely application?

    Li’l Bunnë FooFoo @94 – You can still buy black and white sets. They tend to be small-screen ones for camping, and often run on batteries. Radio Shack has them, I’m fairly sure.

  135. teddytoad
    October 13th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth is always on ice. It’s why she’s so talkative.

  136. commodorejohn
    October 13th, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    Cory is the April Patterson of Funky Winkerbean.

  137. gnome de blog
    October 13th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    Since I am at this moment wearing a black suit, brown shoes and a bow tie (though not a red one), I have some sympathy for ol’ Dag on this one.

  138. Dingo
    October 13th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    So, I’ve eaten lobster before. Crack, open, eat from top. I’ve never seen a woman cut the head off and spoon it out like a soft-boiled egg before. One could hope she’ll do the same to Jameson. But this is Spider-Man. The most we can hope for is a sizable bill and blue balls.

  139. Dr. Weird
    October 13th, 2008 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    #133, Muffaroo – Grandpa The Horrible there has been around for some time… I recall a strip from the 80s in which Helga communicates (slowly, with whispering) that he’d like a bottle of scotch from Scotland and a bottle of ire from Ireland.

    Presumably, he exists as a character to slow down the pacing of the jokes.

  140. Revsfan
    October 13th, 2008 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    Cathy: I didn’t know it was humanly possible to make a shoe-shopping story arc go on this long. C’shaft: That sure was a sudden end to the Jefferson Jacks story, but l’m rooting for Ed to keep climbing those ladders, and the unsteadier the better.
    GT: OK, Jeff was #81, now he’s #88, and someone else is #81 now, and they’re all cheering on the Lady Mudlarks as they play some sport.
    Fred B: Poor chap has rather a difficult time comprehending this new telly.

  141. Donald The Anarchist
    October 13th, 2008 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    MW “Frank Griffin. I remember he used to have the biggest penis…it made yours look like a child’s in comparison, Jeff.”

    Curtis “All I know is, there must’ve been a lot of animals fucking! And I sure would like some pictures of that!”

    SM I’m more impressed by the casual dismissal: “Yeah, you’re glad! Let me see if gorging on this lobster makes me able to tolerate your presence…”

    Blondie I’m sorry, the Brian Posehn pink tux scene on Sarah Silverman has set a new bar for tux-related humor. Simple stain removal jokes no longer meet the standard, if they ever did.

  142. Harold
    October 13th, 2008 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    For shame, Eau de Plugger @ #3. Obviously, Mark Trail’s talking potato is up Curtis’s ass.

  143. Donald The Anarchist
    October 13th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    MW I also notice she did NOT say, “As I live and breathe.” This is because Mary Worth is a ghoul who neither lives nor breathes. I assume this comes as a shock to no one.

  144. KT
    October 13th, 2008 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    Oct. 13:
    Eek! The Jackelrod ball in Mark Trail is mutating! Or sprouting or something! Or maybe it’s growing some weird form of mold.

  145. Mike
    October 13th, 2008 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @ #12: Actually, Snuffy Smith is only 41 years old. Them’s livin’ hard in them thar hills, eatin’ nothin’ but possum entrails, moonshine, an’ crystal meth.

  146. Pigita
    October 13th, 2008 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    When I read the title, “Mary Worth…On…Ice!”, I immediately started hoping that we were about to start a Very Special Story about how Mary died.

    I was disappointed.

  147. KT
    October 13th, 2008 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    I figure Curtis was thinking of taking the book and defacing it, drawing mustaches and funny scars on the illustrations. I mean, that’s what I’d do. :}

    For instance, here’s what I’d do with today’s Blondie:
    http://kinkyturtle.masemware.com/pictures/other/Blondie20081013arm.gif

  148. Ranger
    October 13th, 2008 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: We are all missing the obvious! The ‘sigh’ comes from Gunk’s Flyspeck Island Camouflage Chameleon. He is always tormenting poor Curtis and was about to bite him in the butt when Gunk belted out his line of comedy gold. Our hidden lizard friend had no choice but to express his true feelings for this strip.

  149. Old School Allie Cat
    October 13th, 2008 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    FW Way to go, Les, that $300 you raised would have been the final downpayment that not only cured Cancer, but brought Lisa back from the dead. And you BLEW IT.

  150. Fra Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    October 13th, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    Muffaroo – Some day Radio Shack will be gone (as Woolworth’s in gone, outside the UK) and it will be a dark day indeed. I rarely go to Radio Shack, but I like knowing that there’s a store out there where I can buy diodes, you know, if I need them for something. Not to mention a jillion permutations of cables — need a mono RCA to stereo headphone connector? They probably have it.

    But I foresee that some day they will be gone, along with their little B&W TVs and wall o’ cables and whatnot.

    When Woolworth’s closed I lost my primary source of plastic flowers and cheap wristwatches. I stopped wearing wristwatches altogether sometime not long after they closed.

  151. SaberChick
    October 13th, 2008 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    So, I was at work last night totalling up the bottle deposit slips when I came across one for $1.30 from another Kroger store – It looked different from the ones I had seen before, so I showed it to my Manager. “It could be a scam” said he, “But why would someone make a fake bottle slip for only $1.30 instead of a larger amount?” “Sometimes scammers may try a small amount before a larger one to see if they can get away with it” I replied – “That makes sense” he said “Where did you hear that?” Then I had to admit it was from Mary Worth and forever lost his respect.

    #133 – The little guy I babysit for used to call them “eater-buggers”.

  152. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    October 13th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    The B.C. strip with the anteater, for some reason, reminds me of Demetri Martin’s joke:

    “I think they named oranges before they named carrots.”

  153. Fra Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    SaberChick@151 – The trick is to say “I don’t remember exactly. I think it was in the paper.”

  154. Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    You can tell when I’m on an alternate computer because old nicknames come percolating up. I can’t promise I won’t post as “Official Comic Execrator” again, but please know I am only execrating in a non-official capacity.

  155. Ham Gravy
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    Did Blondie’s miracle spray disolve Dagwood’s jacket sleeve, or render it transparent? Cause if it’s the transparent thing, she should have tested it out first on her blouse.

  156. Elizabeth
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    Curtis is upset about the book’s lack of pictures because he wants to see all the pairs of animals copulating. That’s the only explanation I can think of.

  157. commodorejohn
    October 13th, 2008 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    #150 Fra Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator – They do indeed sell that adapter; I can’t remember why I bought one, but I expect it was for my game consoles.

    And they better not close. Ever.

    The only thing I have against Radio Shack is that they stopped selling their computers. Not that they were the best computers out there, even at the time, but any given home computer from 1975-1985 has six trillion times more personality and charm than any of our state-of-the-art modern boxes.

  158. Niall
    October 14th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    We don’t have Radio Shacks in Canada any more… Circui City bought the franchise from Tandy, and they had to rename them. So we have “The Source (by Circuit City)” instead.

    A blight, I tell ya. And many Source stores are abandoning their sections of cables, adapters, and what-nots that made the Radio Shacks the true old kit makers’ dream.

    And yes, I have a fond memory of their computers, since I learned Basic and basic computer logic and programming on a Model III. Ah, fond memories, including the games… to this date, Outhouse remains the most whacked-up trip to play of any computer game. (I won’t regret missing the giant red reboot button of doom, though. Place a bunch of students in a row on these, and guess what happened 2-3 times a class…)

  159. Niall
    October 14th, 2008 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    I’m taking a break from ironing (and with the heat in my apartment after several near-20 degrees C days (70F) in a concrete building that retains heat, it’s getting (dare I say it) a little steamy in here…

    You can use the handy-dandy Comics Time Tunnel” for the Chron to peer in the future as well as the past, too.

    A3G: If I were there, the temptation to say “BUS-ted!” would be too high. Then Margo would kill me.

    BB: more filth printed in family papers. I’ll try to stop the furry jokes by saying furries don’t do that.. it’s the subset of really icky perverts who do. Very few of them. Thankfully.

    Curtis: Oh, this is not starting well. Hey, Billingsley, don’t start thinking your readers are part of those lower life forms once in a while, okay?

    DtM: Dennis hinting at a career in puppy mills: +10 MenacePoints, and +20 ScuzzyPoints. If it gets the strip pulled from some papers, then yay.

    FC: I don’t want to start thinking what ignomity or shameful family secret is being pointed at today, but please leave your dirty laundry at home and not air it in the world’s papers, okay?

    H&L: Due to the lead time, I seriously think this was drawn and submitted before Canada’s election was called – for today. So I get one chuckle, a single one, from the Daily Depression.

    JP: …and I hear the mudgeons start the Godfather photoshopping in three.. two… one…

    MT: That JackElrod plant is growing out of control!

    MW: Mary is lying; there has never been a “before Charterstone”. This is a test for Doctor Jeff, to see how far she can push him. If he swallows this one, she can pull off a bigger lie later: “Jeff, I’m pregnant.” Then Jeff will meet let out his inner Aldo.

    MG&G: I’m so sorry to have to say this, but sloth jokes are just lazy writing.

    MC: I think panel 2 could win all sorts of cute awards. And poor Lily, being moulded that way. Of course, now I want to see the design for Lisa Lemur. :)

    RM: And there we have it, in panel 3: confirmation of Lenore’s true nature, that of a hellish succubus. The lack of pupils is always a good (bad) sign.

    SF: Um, rich kid invites people she just met over to her house without parents’ permission? Definitely a fantasy world…

  160. Niall
    October 14th, 2008 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    …annnd I forget to close my /a tag. Ah well. Still readable.

  161. Prof. Awesome
    October 14th, 2008 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    Maybe Curtis confused the “Noah’s Ark” picture book for one of those Zoobooks.

    To go along with Curtis, I too would sigh every time someone with an eye above another eye said anything.

  162. fakename
    October 14th, 2008 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    Gunk is one poor Ork.
    No Dakka, No Choppa, No WAAGGHHH.

  163. Albert
    October 14th, 2008 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    Hello Earthling, I am Mork from Ork.

    Sound familiar now?

  164. Filthy Assistant
    October 14th, 2008 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    Did I seriously just see a Warhammer reference in Curtis? Or at least what my brain can only assume was a reference because it made no sense whatsoever?

    I hope so because if I have to actually take time to think about the “punchline” in a newspaper comic I always end up disappointed at the time wasted in such a futile effort.

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