The Comics Curmudgeon

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THE PRODIGAL BLOGGER RETURNS!

Hello, everybody! I’m back from my long journey northeastward, re-ensconced in my Baltimore lair, and ready for more comics mockery in 2009! I hope you all had good holiday celebrations of your choice. The question arises, as it does every year, as to just what soap strip offered the weirdest holiday greeting on Christmas day. The contenders:

Mary Worth, 12/25/08

Mary Worth shoehorned in a barely-readable one-line bit of good cheer into the second panel. This served as a depressing counterpoint to Mary’s turn as good cop to Frank’s bad cop in the determined effort to Keep Lynn Skating No Matter What.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/25/08

Rex Morgan, M.D., served up a heartfelt tribute to our troops serving overseas, a vanishingly small percentage of whom have the time or inclination to read Rex Morgan, M.D. Is that supposed to be Rex in the Santa hat in panel one, and if so, why is he so grim-faced? Shouldn’t the presence of all that hot man-meat in uniform cheer him up, just a little?

Gasoline Alley, 12/25/08

And finally, Gasoline Alley published an excellent template of a nice design that you can get tattooed across your chest or shoulders if you join a particularly festive and holiday-oriented gang.

But the real present came a couple of days later:

Mark Trail, 12/27/08

You know, too few vigilantes are willing to go the extra mile anymore by shouting “SURPRISE!” at their bearded prey while tackling them. The world is poorer for the loss of those sorts of details.

And hey, I’d be remiss if I ignored BIG DOINGS AFOOT IN SPIDER-MAN LAND!

Spider-Man, 12/31/08-1/1/09

OH MY GOODNESS WHAT COULD THE BIG CHANGES THIS WALL OF TEXT HAS PROMISED US BE??? Instead of watching TV and whining to his wife about how much money she makes, Peter is sleeping in and letting his aged aunt cater to his every need. SO THRILLING!!! I seem to recall some sort of thing in the Spidey comic books involving MJ and … a deal with the devil? Maybe? So they got retroactively satanic-divorced or something? I don’t actually read the Spider-Man comic books, but I recall a lot of people complaining about it, so I hope that bringing this thrilling plot development to the Spider-Man newspaper strip manages to make said comic strip even lamer, in ways I never dreamed possible.

Unlike Spider-Man, I promise you exactly nothing new for 2009. I’ve pretty much figured out my thing and you’ll keep reading it and liking it! As long as they still print newspapers and still print comic strips in those newspaper, I’ll be here, so, if current trends hold true, you should have a good 18 months of this site left to enjoy.

Oh, and finally: my site has been nominated for the Best Humor Blog category at the Weblog Awards! Holy crap! Don’t worry, I’ll be plastering links everywhere when voting starts in a few days. And Ces Marciuliano’s Medium Large was similarly nominated in the Best Comic Strip categories. Stretch your ballot-stuffing muscles!

This entry was posted on Friday, January 2, 2009 at 01:49 am and is filed under Gasoline Alley, Mark Trail, Mary Worth, Rex Morgan, M.D., Spider-Man.

159 responses to “THE PRODIGAL BLOGGER RETURNS!”

kurt
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:56 am [Reply]

Congrats on the nomination!
As for SpiderHam, he’s gone back to his roots to “sync up” with Marvel’s current storyline, so he’s now single, back in College, and dating Mary Jane. Perhaps he stumbled into Mr. Fantastic’s time machine or something… :-0
commodorejohn
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:58 am [Reply]

Hey, Josh! Good to have you back!

Y739 bats :[ – Ooh, and you just gave a certain subset of ‘Mudges a warm, nostalgy Clash Of The Titans flashback. Oh, Harryhausen, how we miss you…
Andrew Leal
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:00 am [Reply]

Psst, Josh. The bearded noun is “prey.” The other is a verb which describes what many comic readers do in hopes that divine intervention will finally rid the earth of “Momma.”
druidbros
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:01 am [Reply]

MW – I love the Holiday sentiment as an afterthought – because its more important to know that Lynn is STILL whining. That just makes my Christmas

SM – I, for one, am glad they warned us that they have even lamer plot devices in store for us in the new year. I would hate to be blindsided by a surprise or anything.
Skullturf, at his mother's place
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:04 am [Reply]

Welcome back!
Josh
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:07 am [Reply]

#3 Andrew — Gah! I managed to put the wrong version of the post into the thingamjig. Fixed now.

Josh
Poteet
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:12 am [Reply]

Yay! Welcome back!

And I guessed there would be 700 comments on that last post, so I wasn’t very far off. I would have been closer to right if I’d shut up more.
Poteet
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:17 am [Reply]

# 7 — I just checked, and if I had refrained from shooting off my mouth, there would have been 701 comments in that last metapost and I would have been right on the money. *rolls eyes, bangs head on wall, goes to bed*
ESJ
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:23 am [Reply]

Long before Chris Hansen and the nuanced subtleties of To Catch a Predator, there was only the Mark Trail Way Of Doing Things. “*SURPRISE!*” My, how I long for the days of old.
True Fable
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:25 am [Reply]

Welcome back, Josh!

S4th“Someone’s hot for your chili, Ted.” Oh I have got to use that in conversation later today and see if it has legs.
S-M If they bring back Gwen Stacy I’ll be marginally okay with it. Otherwise NO.
Tim
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:31 am [Reply]

In the Spider-Man comic book, Aunt May was dying, so SM and MJ made a deal with some alternate-dimension guy who likes to play Satan. The deal was that May lives, but the timeline gets reset so that Peter and Mary Jane never got married. But the current comic books still take place in the present. We’re just supposed to imagine that all the comics since 1980-whenever happened differently, without Mary Jane around. Who knows why the newspaper comic has decided to actually go back in time?
True Fable
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:36 am [Reply]

Kwanzaa Curtis ooh, Ray’s using the really GOOD drugs this year! So are we going to see the emergence of a magic Golden Chicken or something?
FW If everything goes true to form, she’s going to do everything in her power to show she’s interested in him, and Les will continue to pine for Lisa’s Ghost and act oblivious to a Real Woman.
JP Aw damn. There goes the hope for an escape and off and on attempts on Sam’s life throughout the year. waa.
MT Sue is an angel to the animals she killed off, starved, helped die of thirst and created the circumstances to get chained to logs, yessirree! What a gal, see you next time!
Wangdoodle
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:36 am [Reply]

I’m glad you went back to that particular RMMD strip, Josh. I don’t know which is worse: Rex looking like the Grim Reaper in a red cap, or the mother crying in the background.

Oh, wow, they’re actually reversing time in the Spidey strip as well? Somebody’s going to Hell for this, and it ain’t Petey.

The Gil Thorp boys are doing Dick Tracy now. Anyone know why? And why they can’t do a better job than the last guy?
late2theparty
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:37 am [Reply]

Someone should have told Graham Nolan and Woody Wilson when they were researching how to portray black people that a) they shouldn’t limit said research to episodes of “The Cosby Show” and b) Cliff and Denise were father-daughter, not husband-wife.
The Ghost of Jarrod
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:38 am [Reply]

You have to admit, Spider-Man delivers on their promises. The new! exciting! adventures! begin with Peter Parker sleeping in and generally being a lump. Yup, it’s the same spidey surprise that Marvel Comics has given its countless readers! And by “countless,” we mean “zero.”
Steve the Pocket
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:55 am [Reply]

Baby Blues: And to add insult to injury, she gets to end up associating math with making cookies blander! And unreasonable regulations! Huzzah!

Garfield: Actually it wasn’t in-key, period. Seriously, you know something’s wrong when Jim Davis has to outsource the punchines to his readers.

Sally Forth: Wait, who’s this Peter guy? Do we know him? Are we supposed to?

Wizard of Id: You know what? I think in my perfect world there’d be a moratorium on comics set anywhere but the here and now. Because clearly the cartoonists are only interested in writing jokes about the here and now, no matter how big of a stretch they have to make to get them to fit.
True Fable
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:58 am [Reply]

Mark Trail was by far, the best of the Christmas offerings. Where else can you have a khaki-clad overgrown Boy Scout fly through the air horizontally and deliver a surprise to a perp’s kneecaps? Only in a dried-out swamp that can be refilled with the simple twist of a faucet, that’s where!
I’m supposing there is a dam somewhere that they will uncork in order to let the water back into the area, but given her odd phrasing of that idea, I’m frankly disappointed Sue said “It’s been good knowing you” today instead of “let me give you a piece of ass to remember me by, Mark!”
Oregonian
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:00 am [Reply]

Welcome back, Josh! It seems like you’ve been gone for ages, but it’s really been only a minute or two (in 9-chickweed-lane-time).
Mibbitmaker
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:06 am [Reply]

1/2 (and an actually manageable thread in which to post again! Yay!):

9CL: Oh, will you PLEASE JUST TELL US Sex Boy WON, already?? I don’t need suspence in my lack of suspence!

A3G: Finally, a voice of reason at last!

Kwazyy: We may not have the wished-for giant fantasy animal, but this Curtis Kwanzaa has achieved BATSHIT INSANITY. Thanks much, Curtis!

DT: And speaking of batpoop wacky, we once again have our loopy CIA guy saying the same Williams-Streety hyperbole in contrast to the slightly nutty mundanity (to coin a word?). Looks like a zany-as-hell 2009 in Comicsland!

JP: Here it comes! — – Lethal Girlfight!

Luann: Are you kidding? It’s alittle past 1978 if it’s a day! (I’m 47)

MF: Not only that, but the coloring gnomes made him look mildly deformed.

MW: Right about now, I’d even advocate Liz Patterson and Tina Eric-beating that guy into submission! Punch ‘im, Mary!

Ghost-Who-Should-Be-In-His-Own-Damn-Strip-Sometime-Soon-(Unless-It’s-Really-Mark-Trail-With-Better-Drawing): “What, we’re hunting people now??”

Popeye: Oh, Brutus is SUCH a humanitarian!! (if he really wants to help people, have him go over to Mary Worth and do that)

RMMD: Sarah either found the stowaway, or this’ll be the mildest version of Nightmare At 20,000 Feet (in a boat instead of an airplane, yet) ever.

S-M: …Now let the surprises bore me to pieces!

Zits: It took Jeremy a long time to scrub the last few weeks of his own strip off of him. Today’s will force him to go right back in the shower all over again. (Those wacky teenagers!!)
mollificent
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:26 am [Reply]

Yay Josh! All Hail the Pope!

A few quick yesterthread responses:

709 kalki: Hmmm…well, if Pop’s wife is Paula Deen, then I think Sandra Lee MUST be playing Sue.

712 True Fable: It’s true, I tellya. Don’t mess with the Pixie. ;)

723 Mooncattie: Luvverly!

As usual, I want to save the comics for tomorrow morning’s tea, so I must resist despite extreme provocation.

(P.S. I believe I may have used the word “f***” more times in the last thread than in my entire history as a Curmudgeon poster. Not sure what that’s about. ;))
True Fable
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:35 am [Reply]

# 20 mollificent –

(P.S. I believe I may have used the word “f***” more times in the last thread than in my entire history as a Curmudgeon poster. Not sure what that’s about. ;))

And yet I find that I am breathless and intrigued…! Do go on! ;-)
SonoraWhispers
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:39 am [Reply]

9CL – Ewwww…..Gag……Ewwwww…..Gag…..Vomit!!!!

This makes FOOB look good, and that’s vomit material right there! Oh, Lynn! Your perfect, pipe-smoking, (who ever did that???) 1970’s “Far-Out” brother…I hope he’s on a really bad acid trip with Connie. I hope they find themselves in a hallucinatory avalanche that never really happened and are frantically trying to dig themselves out right in Elly’s front yard. Hilarity will ensue as the neighbors watch them clawing desperately at nothing.
Thank goodness for the current RMMD & JP & MW stories. But Lynn in MW really should have that squared-off pony-tail ripped off her head by a rabid grizzly bear or something. I just can’t stand it!

Welcome back Josh & A Fine 2009 to all!
Craig
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:42 am [Reply]

To clarify (as is my area of expertise, being a manager of a comic book store), Peter and Mary Jane’s marriage was “erased” by Mephisto in exchange for Mephisto saving Aunt May’s life (after a would-be-fatal bullet from Kingpin’s assassin).

After the deal was made (in the “One More Day” story), Peter was single, living with Aunt May, and celebrating the recent return of Harry Osborn from Europe (who had been previously “dead”). All of the stories between the wedding (published in 1987) and One More Day *did* happen, according to Marvel’s Editor-In-Chief Joe Quesada. However, instead of being married, Peter and MJ were simply co-habitating (or as some church-going folk call it, “living in sin”, which apparently is a better choice for role model Spider-Man than being divorced). Sure, there are funny instances, like when Thomas Fireheart paid for their honeymoon, which I guess was some sort of present for “moving in together”.

To clarify:
- Spidey’s NOT dating Mary Jane.
- Spidey’s NOT back in college.
- there is no time travel
- Marvel’s “countless” readers are actually enjoying the new Spider-Man stories, even if the contrived plot device that got them there has been compared to Poochie returning to his home planet on the Simpsons.

Seeing as how Spidey got married in the newspaper strip because he got married in the comic book, I guess it would make sense to change the newspaper strip again to reflect the status quo of the comic. However, the comic is actually exciting, unlike the newspaper strip, so this change is actually going to accomplish precious little while Stan Lee continues to think he can still write cohesive, compelling, and exciting stories.
True Fable
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:43 am [Reply]

DT The professor can make anything except normal-sized arms for people. Tess has no discernible forearms. I mean come on! Even Lego people have elbows.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:44 am [Reply]

Welcome back, Josh, and thanks for bringing the funny! ‘Cause,
Ow, we want the snark
Give up the snark
Ow, we need the snark
We gotta have that snark

9CL: What, no slack, slap happy, slobbery, post O face for Amos? Thanks for once, Brooke.

Zits: Hey, Jeremy’s been “brooding” for five hours! Say what you will, but that young man is no quitter!
SonoraWhispers
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:53 am [Reply]

Oops…I’m not making an anti-gay statement, just in case anyone thinks that, since I happen to be gay my own self. I’m making an “Oh how can you make anything more…uh…I don’t even know…sickening?” I mean…when was the last time you were at a just KILLER recital that made you get all horny? The whole audience all horny? Even people watching on TV with a guest on the couch all horny? Jeez.
Ok, carry on.
Darkefang
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:01 am [Reply]

#11 Tim –

“In the Spider-Man comic book, Aunt May was dying, so SM and MJ made a deal with some alternate-dimension guy who likes to play Satan. The deal was that May lives, but the timeline gets reset so that Peter and Mary Jane never got married. But the current comic books still take place in the present. We’re just supposed to imagine that all the comics since 1980-whenever happened differently, without Mary Jane around. Who knows why the newspaper comic has decided to actually go back in time?”

Long time, and no posting for me, but as one of the resident comic book nerds, I have this to add:

Peter Parker and Mary Jane made the deal with Mephisto, who rules the underworld in the Marvel universe. Mephisto is primarily a Ghost Rider villain, although he’s appeared in some of the X-Men storylines over the years.

Mephisto is a demon – not really the devil. He’s one of the elder “gods” of the Marvel universe, along with the Norse, Greek and other immortal beings taken from real-life earth mythology. Hela and Pluto are also gods of different underworlds. Belasco plays a similar role in Limbo, although he did lose control of his position for a while to Nightcrawler’s girlfriend, Amanda (her last name escapes me at the moment).

Peter and Mary Jane got married sometime in the early 1990s (1994 maybe?). The deal with Mephisto re-wrote the timeline so that Peter jilted Mary Jane at the altar, although the details of why he did so haven’t been fleshed out yet in the comics. We have seen Mary Jane a couple of times since the deal with Mephisto – once at a party for Harry Osbourne and once when Spider-Man saved her reclusive movie-star boyfriend from a super-powered stalker.

The deal with Mephisto also rewrote Spider-Man’s involvement in the superhero civil war, erasing Peter Parker’s unmasking of himself on national television.

I suspect that Mephisto’s spell is going to be undone in the next couple of years. Ghost-Rider is currently fighting an angel named Zadkiel’s attempt to overthrow heaven. Mephisto supposedly first gave Johnny Blaze the Ghost-Rider powers, but later it turns out that they were really granted by Zadkiel. We don’t know what the connection is between the two, so it could easily involve Blaze erasing Mephisto’s spells, if he’d been granted his powers by Zadkiel.

More likely, Mephisto is going to end up fighting Illyana Rasputin (Colossus’ sister, Magik), who recently dethroned Belasco and is in search of the remaining pieces of her soulstone, one of which resides in Mephisto’s domain.

And now that I’ve typed all this out, I realize that I know a lot of dumb shit.
Mars
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:03 am [Reply]

Marvel’s “countless” readers are actually enjoying the new Spider-Man stories

Who told you that? Marvel?
True Fable
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:07 am [Reply]

#26 SonoraWhispers – I believe Brooke has built himself the largest Suspension Bridge of Disbelief in the world, starting with a priggish teenage dancer who also just happens to be an accomplished pianist, who is paired with a geeky boy cellist who can manage to kiss his girlfriend despite the fact that neither of them have chins. After all that, showing a former parochial school couple capable of having hand-sex that inspires the world just sort of falls into place on the bridge.
Darkefang
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:14 am [Reply]

Damn, Craig types faster than me.

And damn, Spidey got married in 1987? Wow, I’m older than I thought.

#28 – Mars

“Marvel’s “countless” readers are actually enjoying the new Spider-Man stories

Who told you that? Marvel?”

I’m not sure we’re enjoying them as much as tolerating them with the understanding that Peter and Mary Jane will end up back together at some point. Just like Captain America will end up brought back to life somehow. Huge changes to the Marvel universe tend to get reversed eventually. Hell, they even brought Mockingbird back, and I don’t think anyone’s even mentioned her for 15 years.
Mars
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:19 am [Reply]

Except this was no mere publicity stunt, Mr. Fang. One of Joe Q’s CAREER GOALS was to split Spidey and MJ. He talked about doing it for years at comic-cons, and the lack of enthusiasm didn’t deter him. As long as he’s in the seat of power, there will be only misery on his watch. ‘Cause kids identify more with misery, don’cha know.
Adjuster
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:24 am [Reply]

When I first saw the Gasoline Alley Christmas Greeting strip, I thought I should cut it out and attach it to a whiskey bottle. Then I realized I didn’t own any whiskey cheap enough. In the end, I found a used bottle that once contained generic diet cola, glued on the December 25 strip, and filled it with gasoline.

If you drink enough of that, Gasoline Alley suddenly starts to make sense. That happens right before you go blind, which can also improve Gasoline Alley.
SonoraWhispers
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:30 am [Reply]

#29 True Fable – I like your logic! This makes as much sense as anything about 9CL…although “making sense” and “9CL” are pretty much…oxy-morons?

Saw some really cute goats this week at a farm in Patagonia, AZ…wished I’d had my camera so I coulda shared them with you. Anyways, Happy Ought Nine!
True Fable
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:30 am [Reply]

# 32 Adjuster – A gallon jug of Thunderbird or Ripple will probably serve the same purpose, although I think that’s what they use to write Gasoline Alley. Plus the miles-per-gallon with them is terrible.
True Fable
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:36 am [Reply]

# 33 SonoraWhispers – *sigh* Ah, goats! What I would do for an armload of them!

Hey, I ain’t cheap… but I am reasonable. ;-)
Uncle Lumpy
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:45 am [Reply]

#5 Skullturf, at his mother’s place –

What, your mom doesn’t let you wear the Beavispants? Time to have “the talk”, IMHO.
Mr. O'Malley
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:05 am [Reply]

738, *-1. Poteet. I just finished watching that same show about the German filmmakers. It made me wonder what you would learn about American culture by reading today’s comics.

I once worked for a German immigrant, and he said the first time he felt that he might understand America was when he read Peanuts and understood the joke. (This was probably in the 1950s or 1960s. His family had left Germany for Switzerland in the 1930s when he was a child, because his father was a human rights campaigner.)

But in the 1930s there were quite a few comics that were what we would call “retro”, like Toonerville Trolley or Out Our Way. I suppose that would be somewhat analogous to Hi and Lois or Beetle Bailey.

Another interesting point is that the German expressionist style in films, imported to America, was a big influence on some comic strip artists like Milt Caniff and Will Eisner.

742, *-1. Sugarpie. I once met Graham Kerr in a supermarket checkout line in Toronto. He was wearing a very spiffy tie adorned with red peppers.

Spiderman: I don’t read the strip, or the comic. But I did read a number of the very early comics, and the thing that was exciting and new about them was that outside of his superhero life he was an ordinary person with ordinary problems. That was very much unlike other superheroes at the time.

So to bring in demons who can alter reality really … what do they say in Mexico? … saltar sobre el tiburón?

In some of the other Marvel comics it might work OK, but I can see why the Spiderman fans complained.

Oh well, yet another reason not to read either the comic strip or the comic book.

I’d better get this posted because I have a feeling a new thread could start soon.

(Time is still 1 hour fast. Maybe it will resolve itself tomorrow like the Microsoft Zunes are supposed to do?)
Naked Bunny with a Whip
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:43 am [Reply]

Gah!! Josh is back! Get your clothes back on, people!

…What am I saying?
True Fable
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:04 am [Reply]

# 38 Naked Bunne with a Whip – You go first, I popped a button.
ShutUpEccles
January 2nd, 2009 at 7:08 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan – “Stop the boat! There’s someone on the wing!” [/Wm Shatner]
yellojkt
January 2nd, 2009 at 7:48 am [Reply]

Welcome back, Josh. Good to see you survived the blizzards up north.

Maybe SpideyPunk has gotten even more naive and clueless. Nah, that isn’t even plausible in a comic book where satanic beings screw around with idiot superheroes.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 2nd, 2009 at 7:48 am [Reply]

#27 has given me a small surprising insight, in that I never realized my dislike of opera and my dislike of superhero comics were so closely related. But damned if that doesn’t read exactly like the sort of idiot libretto that makes me want to set fire to any available large, flammable icons of the art such as concert halls and in some instances tenors.

(I make an exception for Duke Bluebeard’s Castle, Wozzeck, and – for mostly sentimental reasons – Hunyadi Laszlo. Presumably there is an equal number of tolerable superhero comics out there to match.)
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 2nd, 2009 at 7:50 am [Reply]

(Also, raise your hand if you can’t read the words “Brand New Day” without thinking “…all the birds are singing that you’re gonna die.” Yeah. I thought so.)
True Fable
January 2nd, 2009 at 7:59 am [Reply]

# 45 One-Eyed Wolfdog – Oh, no lie! That whole soundtrack is the best and most welcome earworm in the history of Ever!
Little Guy
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:01 am [Reply]

#38/39: Uh… uh….. these Juggs Parker comics aren’t mine! They’re bats:[’s. And I don’t know how that got into the goat!

Welcome back, Josh!

9CL: Even after shaking the hand, we still won’t know whose hand it belongs to.

S-M: So, instead of seeing MJ lounging in her undies in their apartment on Sundays, she’ll be lounging in her undies in her dormroom on Sundays?

JP: Please let Dixie be a Terminator…. please let Dixie be a Terminator…. please let Dixie be a Terminator….

Oh, , it wasn’t one of the cops to shoot Dixie; it was Lio’s Cybil.

Big Nate:
Wangdoodle
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:01 am [Reply]

37. Mr. O’Malley:
You’re quite right about Spider-Man; it’s been long-standing policy that while Spidey could fight the occasional vampire or werewolf or Moon-Wolf or Giant-Size Man-Thing or walking Nazi skeleton reanimated by killer bees (I didn’t make those up, BTW), there wasn’t going to be an emphasis on hocus-pocus, especially as an “out” for an otherwise inescapable situation.

The deal with this Devil-who-isn’t-really-The-Devil (in spite of his omniscient power and control of souls, cough cough fart) was a “Hal Jordan moment.”

When DC decided to make Green Lantern a psychotic murderer, then a full-fledged supervillian, then a martyr, and then a superhero ghost, one blogger correctly predicted that DC would “have to eat an astonishing amount of $#!% to fix that mess.” Me? I thought they wouldn’t dare even consider trying…but damned if they didn’t sit down with a big ol’ spoon and choke down that astonishing amount of $#!%, tears streaming down their beet-red faces, and now Hal Jordan is alive and completely redeemed and Green Lantern again.

You’d be hard-pressed to find a superhero in DC’s “A” and “B” lists who hasn’t been killed, then brought back through the most astonishingly contrived means imaginable, whether they’re nigh-godlike supernatural beings or nigh-ordinary schlubs who shoot trick arrows.

So Peter calls up Not-Satan and cuts a deal. Not-Satan’s price is ridiculous (he gets a fraction of two souls for his trouble), and BONG! The $#!% is officially eaten. It was horrible, and the aftertaste lingers for a long, long time, and who knows, he may die from ingesting it…but the Editor-In-Chief finally got everything he wanted. And when he walks out of the office for the last time, his replacement will be working on a brand-new $#!% recipe.

The newspaper strip was actually refreshingly honest. Instead of building up a steaming brew of intelligence-insulting $#!%, they simply announced, “…HAY KIDS! REBOOT! BAM!” and went about their business.

(Also, as Comic Book Gu–I mean, Darkefang–noted, I should’ve described it as “rebooting” or “retconning” rather than “reversing time.”)
Little Guy
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:02 am [Reply]

Big Nate: Someone needs to pull Nate’s uncle by the short hairs and yank him out of the strip. And what I mean by the short hairs is whatever fungi is growing out of his chin.
dreadedcandiru2
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:10 am [Reply]

#48 — Wangdoodle: What would make it really funny is if Peter told Aunt May he had that dream where he married MJ and spent his days sitting in front of the TV whining about how much money she made again. The ending of “Newhart” is way cooler than anything that’s ever happened in the MU.
Dave
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:16 am [Reply]

So, according to Rex Morgan, the best gift we can give our military sons and daughters is SOCKS?
Tom T.
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:23 am [Reply]

Spider-Man:

To clarify:
- Spidey’s NOT dating Mary Jane.
- Spidey’s NOT back in college.
- there is no time travel

So Peter Parker is now just a single adult with no real job who lives with his aunt in Queens?

9CL:

Even after shaking the hand, we still won’t know whose hand it belongs to.

Not unless we could smell it.

Seriously, though, when will this storyline end!?
Pozzo
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:57 am [Reply]

My favorite part of Mark Trail is Andy’s fang-baring snarl in panel two: “Save a piece of him for me, Mark!”
Nimrod Gently
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

Ugh, Brand New Day. There goes the one and only good point the newspaper Spidey had.
Gojira
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:32 am [Reply]

Josh: “I’ve pretty much figured out my thing and you’ll keep reading it and liking it!” Hey, it’s good to think positive.

#11 Tim: I think that, just like Funky Winkerbean, Spider-Man is still set in the present, except Peter and the cast have fallen back instead of jumping forward 10 years in age. So, when the TV finally appears, chances are it will be a flat-panel.
John C Fremont
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:38 am [Reply]

Welcome back, Josh. It is test, by the way.

# 42 – Thank you, Mr. O’Malley! It’s a good thing that I’m the only one at work today because you made me cackle up a storm (although no feathers were sneezed out). I’m pretty sure I actually said “Hoo!” out loud a couple of times.

SF – When he says “Shut up, Peter,” I assume he’s talking to the other guy. Otherwise, a fella such as myself could take that the wrong way.

RMMD – Did you ever eat a donut with the devil in the pale moonlight?
AceDiamond
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:53 am [Reply]

SM – So they decided that they were going to make a dull situation worse by introducing “Brand New Day” into the newspaper.

*vomits*
AndyPOP
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:56 am [Reply]

Re: Spiderman : The irony is that when PP and MJ got married in the comic book, it was rushed into production because the comic strip was plannung to mary them off, and the editor at the time (I don’t remember who it was and it’s not like i could find it in 3 seconds by opening another tab or anything) didn’t want to be trumped by the newspaper strip.
UncleJeff
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:01 am [Reply]

PBS: “type type type”. Is Pastis getting sound effects lessons from Lynn Johnston?
9CL: Let’s see, the judge’s hand is dry and not dripping something wet so I assume that Amos was Cellist Number Two.
S-M: And somehow I think for 95% of newspaper readers, the internal workings of Marvel Comics are something of which they neither know nor care.
Harpa
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:14 am [Reply]

9CL: And what’s the betting that we never find out who actually won the contest?
texas buddha
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Welcome back Josh!

Happy New Year everyone!

If you missed it way down at the bottom of Josh’s pre-holiday blog comments, then swing by and check out the latest New World Order Family Circus entries by guest contributor Comrade Denny.

http://texasbuddha.wordpress.com/

Enjoy!
Mr. Jones
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:25 am [Reply]

“Wishing gifts of the season to you and yours”

I have absolutely no idea what this means. Can someone please explain it to me?

And yeah, I can see the biker tatoo motif of gasoline alley. But at first glance I thought it was an ad for Jack Daniel’s. Either way, this is great for the kids.
Dangerous Danny Dumbutt
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:39 am [Reply]

In Mark Trail, you have to wonder why the center of the second panel, with the dog’s raging open jowls as well as Mark’s fumbling digits, are all directed toward the bad guy’s crotch. Rex Morgan must be sleepless these days with such shenanigans going on in the American funny papers.
papa zita
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:48 am [Reply]

9CL: Damn it, another hand. My friend has a copy of Drawing Dynamic Hands, which McEldowney can have if he just says the word. Not only will it help him draw better hands, it’s wankeriffic for a hand fetishist such as him.

A3G: Yes, let’s drag this out, we want more Tommie and less Margo, right? Oh, wrong.

Rex Morgan, Croaker: So the moppet stole the last of pruneface’s vodka martini, and another piece of long pork waits to be caught and butchered. Guido, on deck with the cleaver, will be ready.
Talking Squirrel
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:19 am [Reply]

True Fable, this one’s particularly for you. But anyone interested in caprine cavorting, as enshrined in the WaPo, might enjoy a momentary whiff of this mighty wind.
Talking Squirrel
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:30 am [Reply]

Josh, as for weird Christmas-greetings strips, I think Judge Parker tops Rex Morgan.

Despite their (undoubtedly heartfelt) sentiments, and Barreto’s undeniable mastery of their stark black/white graphics style, the roughly 40% of non-white active service members were represented by exactly 0% of the faces in the strip.

All white, no black (or brown, etc., in the color version here)? Whassup wi’dat?
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:34 am [Reply]

SPECIAL NOTE TO PERPLEXED READERS: HERE’S A LITTLE TASTE OF WHAT’S TO COME: PETER WILL EXPERIENCE SOME BRIEF MALAISE OVER A B- IN COLLEGE ALGEBRA IN LATE MAY. OTHERWISE, THIS UNEXPECTED ALL-TEXT PANEL WILL BE THE MOST EXCITING THING THAT HAPPENS HERE ALL YEAR. NOW, LET THE MONOTONY BEGIN!
Niall
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:34 am [Reply]

Welcome back Josh!

Scant time to post a quick something, work is quite apace today.

PBS wins three or four internets today for a well-timed stupid joke.

In what can only harken to armageddon, Garfield was unironically funny today. Not surprisingly, it actually didn’t feature Garfield or Jon in-panel. More of that please, Paws Inc.

Archie only made me think of Angry Kem’s essay blog’s examples of pathetic students. Except she’d choose a different method to let Archie know.

And yesterday’s My Cage was still win.
Patrick
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:36 am [Reply]

Mark has been hiding out in the bushes, waiting for a man to arrive, so he can jump out, grab him around the crotch area, and yell, “SURPRISE!”

Sounds like a typical Saturday night for Rex Morgan.
gleeb
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:39 am [Reply]

Pigborn: I have no idea why those prudes at the syndicate refused to keep publishing quite ordinary bondage porn.

A3G: Dr Kelly’s read “The Courtship of Miles Standish,” I see.

Baldo: Dude, just get another stupid little retail job.

Curtis: She’s becoming an inside-out chicken!

‘bean: Solo car date. That’s why he hasn’t. Anyway, he was probably at home, talking to his dead wife or an imaginary cat, or maybe just creepily following his daughter around.

Pluggers: …will soon have to choose between food and chronic illness.

Rex: The stowaway is Underwood Deviled Ham endorser Mason Reese!

Spidey: If she’s such a nice girl, why’d Pete divorce her? Answer me that, Aunt Convenient-Exposition-Device!

Zippy: Wow, it’s a huge change in Zippy, too! Zippy is usually the one saying stupid non sequiturs, like “rubber baby buggy bumpers”. Does this mean Griffy and Mr Toad are suddenly not married anymore?
Jumper
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:42 am [Reply]

I will cling to the extremely unlikely notion that the Spidey strip will merge with For Better or for Worse.

Peter Parker will, this time around, marry Elizabeth Patterson of FBOFW. This leaves the Aspergers’ Syndrome-afflicted Anthony Caine to, in future strips, fall face-down repeatedly in extremely lame attempts to woo Mary Jane, as Mary Jane pursues Anthony’s roundheeled and exotic ex-wife Thérèse.

Hey, it could happen!
TheNewGuy
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:46 am [Reply]

#50 – Tom T.
So Peter Parker is now just a single adult with no real job who lives with his aunt in Queens?

o, because they also retconned some of the Civil War stuff, he never unmasked himself on TV so no-one knows who he is anymore. Meaning he works for JJ @ the Bugle – which I think he actually sold to some other douchebag that made it into a tabloid paper… or that might be one of the other universes, I can’t keep track of ‘em all anymore.
Barfy
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:47 am [Reply]

The second panel of MT reminds me of one of my favorite MT strips of all time. It begins with an explanatory caption: “Mark is chasing the man who shot his pet goose.” In panel one, Mark shouts the words that strike fear into the heart of any pet goose shooter: “Hey you! Stop!” And then the tackle. Magical stuff.
Lorem Ipsum
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:48 am [Reply]

MW: Lynnies got a gun…found him underneath the train
Jumper
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

That is indeed a tribute to Jack Daniels’s “Old #7″ in Gasoline Alley. Scancarelli probably consumes a lot of it, constantly aware that the newspaper in Charlotte NC, where he lives, will not print his strip. He probably understands, however, that the fault is not his but theirs: the newspaper squirms in “doth-protest-too-much” discomfort, in denial about their own small-town insecurities, their own deep doubts about whether they have the “stuff” to compete with the Big Boys. Which they do not. Because when they look at Gasoline Alley, staring back at them is themselves.
docweasel
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:50 am [Reply]

What is _ever_ the point of skating?
Angry Kem
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

MW: Y’know, Mary…I’m sure you’re a very good meddler and all…but you seem to be missing the great big scary forest for the trees. Have you ever heard of child abuse? Do you think perhaps you might be witnessing some? Or are you going to continue to believe with all your withered heart and mangy, neglected soul that this is a skating issue? Geez.

9CL: If this goes on for much longer, some reader somewhere is going to snap and try to burn down Brooke McEldowney’s house. I shall simply watch and laugh.

Pibgorn: Ditto.

S4th: Awwwwwww…don’t give up, Ted! There is a way out of this bizarre dilemma. It may just involve you introducing Sally to World of Warcraft and romancing her in the character of a gnome named Brog.*

Dear Stan Lee:

I hate you.

Love,
Angry Kem.

*I do not play World of Warcraft, so I apologise if I have inadvertently misrepresented it. I did witness my brother-in-law playing it all day, every day, this Christmas break.
One Big Nappy
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

butti?
The Barbed One
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

Spiderman moves in with Aunt May: Clearly much of Spidey’s audience is gender-challenged, preferring the webslinger to be young, unmarried, and economically dependent. Peter will now be available for guest appearances in 9 Chickweed Lane where he will attract Seth’s wide-eyed attention and provoke Mark into doing something dramatic like sitting alone in a dark room. Meanwhile the naive Aunt May will find Peter’s new friends quite charming.
bats :[
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

33. SonoraWhisper: wow, there’s ANOTHER Southern Arizonan ‘mudge in our midst? Very cool!

(And Mibbitmaker and John C Fremont (I think)…I’m listing in your direction as to Rex’s adventures…)
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

#77 – …provoke Mark into doing something dramatic like sitting alone in a dark room.

This will be illustrated by a solid week’s worth of really artistic plain black panels.

(Also, belatedly, to #46: Ooooh, moonwolves!)
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

Is Spiderman now going to take place in 1980 Canada?

I see a great cross over event coming: Spiderman vs. the Foobinator.

Who can watch more tv in one day?

Who can talk with their mouth full?

Who can kill the family dog and blame it on the kids?

Who can spin a web any size?

Watch out as Peter “Spiderman” Parker meets his biggest foe Elly “Foobinator” Patterson in the retrocontest of the last century.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

Speaking of crossovers, I think that the ultimate test of Amos’s cello sawing ability would be to see if he can get Loretta and Leroy Lockhorn to do the horizontal mattress tango.

Now that would be some seductive playing.
Dr. Pants
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

I think it’s pretty clear that Rex’s sour puss is due to the Don’t-Ask-Don’t-Tell policy which is keeping that soldier on the phone with his family instead of unwrapping is Sexy, Rexy Christmas “package.”
Dr. Pants
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

I think it’s pretty clear that Rex’s sour puss is due to the Don’t-Ask-Don’t-Tell policy which is keeping that soldier on the phone with his family instead of unwrapping his Sexy, Rexy Christmas “package.”
Baron Von Foobenstein
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

Gasoline Alley — Always loved it when the cartoonist took a day off from nudging the plot forward to do a “greeting card strip.” I think I’LL try going into work and doing nothing for a day. Wonder how that will go over.

Mark Trail — Why this guy isn’t an All-Pro safety in the NFL is beyond me. By the way, just for fun, I sat my dog down and told her, “Look, here’s the deal. I want YOU to lay down here and play dead. When mommy comes home and sees you, I’ll yell “SURPRISE” and lunge at her. Then you growl. Got that?”

Didn’t work. How the hell does Mark do that?
Buck Ripsnort
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

#27 Darkefang–NEEERRRRRRRDS!

Hell, I knew all that stuff too, but was too ashamed to admit it.
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

Hi Josh! Welcome back!

You were gone???

(just kidding…..)

@ #8 Poteet: No need to apologize; without your posts, our Holiday Metathread would have been shorter, but the Comics Curmudgeon would have been poorer!

Not vastly poorer, but poorer nonetheless…. ;)

Zits: Jeremy was “in the shower” for five hours?? So the ‘Mudges were right again! He was up there spanking the monkey all this time!

#45 – after Brooke’s recent “handjob” extravaganza in 9CL, would we even want to shake that hand?

A3G: So when the f— are we going to back to Margo and her long-teased-but-only-slowly-if-ever-revealed snoopathon? Over a week; and other than the usual repetitive Sunday recap, it’s been all boring, mooning Tommie & Dr. Joe: where’s our B&E action, dammit??!!
Paul K
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

I am not going to try to be snarky or anything, when I say I am really upset that marvel pulled this changing time crap, and spiderman is single again and all that bull. Now it carrys over to the paper strip, and lamely the last story line before the big switch is about a second rate villan named “Big Time?”
commodorejohn
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

Y755 texas buddha – Ah. Well, many thanks to Comrade Denny, then. So awesome…

#46 Wangdoodle – Yeah, at least they didn’t put us through all that crap before getting things to where ~~God~~ Joe decrees they should be. I’m just kind of surprised that anybody at Marvel gives a crap about the newspaper strip anymore.

9CL – END ALREADY

A.D. – I have a friend like that.

BBlue – Keep your grubby hands off my math, Baby Blues.

Crock – Ew.

Curtis – Oh my God. Oh. My. God.

DT – Tess seems a little…too happy.

FC – Sweet Jesus, look at the size of that fridge. Thel is Gulliver to the kids’ Lilliput and the fridge manufacturer’s Brobdingnag.

FW – In the future, teachers will drive clown cars. Presumably the sex that’s about to go down will happen in the snow, since they’d have to be midgets to do it in the backseat. But hey, the misery and cold should suit the strip just fine. Maybe they’ll even be caught in flagrante gelato.

GT – “Full-on court press?”

JP – When did we wind up in the jungle? Is this going to turn into Predator? Please let the answer be yes.

Lio – Whoa! Alert Sinbad!

Love Is… – ordering a pizza with “extra sausage.”

MW – “If you don’t, it’s at your own risk?” I think this may be the first time Mary has threatened to kill someone. On-panel, anyway.

Pibgorn – Guh, Tennessee Ernie Ford gospel albums are a pet peeve of mine, because they infest thrift stores. Anyway, is absurdist fairy bondage torture porn like a “funny aneurysm?”

RMMD – I’d like to think Sarah’s bug-eyed stare has less to do with Donut Waif than the sheer quantity of booze being consumed on the Death Ship.

SM – Maybe this whole thing is just a way to have one less panel to draw.

Edison Lee – Uh, Hambrock, it was made in Switzerland. Which is not actually a country known for cheap, slipshod manufacturing techniques. What is this, a plug for the Particle Accelerator Manufacturers Union?
Comrade Denny
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

So Mary’s meddling has shifted from what I think is the laudatory goal of helping an over-stressed, over-worked, over-controlled teen reclaim her happiness and her very Self to advocating that Lynn stick with skating because she has a “gift” for it.

I don’t understand this moral imperative to do something you no longer like just because you’re good (i.e. have a “gift” for) at doing it … If Lynn could queef melodiously, would Mary argue that Lynn should become a concert soloist?
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

1/2 I’m a part of you.
Welcome back Josh.

FC: Dictionary.com defines “lunchy” as “stupid; dull witted.” Hey Dolly! Good guess!

MF: “And in the presence of Kryptonite, My ears blow up and my chin starts melting. Who’s the wise guy?”

SSmith: If you can’t laugh at yourself drinking foot fungus, what the hell can you laugh at?

S-M: I see. They’re bringing the newspaper strip in line with the comic book by importing a storyline that was widely loathed in the latter. As Josh has gathered, it involves Peter making a deal with Mephisto, pretty much the devil. In keeping with the newspaper strips general lameness level, Mephisto will be played in flashback by Jon Lovitz in foam latex horns.

Agnes: Agnes, it’s already been established that calling yourself a maverick every five seconds won’t get you anywhere. Except back to your Arizona Senate seat.

BC: Mason: “There, I drew the slot on the resolution box as a cross. You happy, grandpa?”

RMMD: What a sad looking orphan stowaway. I think Sarah will take pity on him and share her Singapore sling.

6C: All women hate football? Clearly Kathryn Lemieux hasn’t met any gals from Texas.

DT: “He’s out of control, chief. He makes things explode.” Does this mean the CIA will finally start taking the Michael Bay problem seriously?

SFx: I love the sheer panic on Max’s face here. “A shark? A clean human skeleton? Holy fucking shit, Slylock! Why did you bring me down here.”

H&L: Congratulations, kid. Your crotch has just seen more action than your dad’s has in years.

H&J: Next: Herb makes Jamaal forget about the creaking in his knees by going down on his.

GA: Not a bad ad slogan, but I still prefer, “Bet it won’t kill ya if we overbill ya.”

Garfield: Paws, Inc has caught onto the whole “Garfield without Garfield” concept.

Ziggy: Next time Ziggy picks up an exciting new ED medication at the pharmacy, can we just leave that offscreen? Thanks.
prospero
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

The Gasoline Alley Christmas strip? They’ll be receiving greetings from the attorneys for Jacl Daniel’s ord the producers of Sons of Anarchy, or both.

I’d guess Hiro Nakamura saved Peter Parker to save the world.

And, while Mark Trail’s tackling and shouting are wildly textually deviant for Mark Trail, vigilantes yelling ‘Surprise’ is hardly novel. O Ghost, always performs some variation on this tactic, he just waits until he’s already pummeled the miscreant into a semi-vegetative state. This is how Phantom amuses himself in the tortured long stretches between dalliances with Diana or some wayward, vaguely Wagnerian blond. He’s the ultimate, gloating poor winner.
Comrade Denny
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

On Today’s Mary Worth and #88 – CommodoreJohn:

Not only is Mary threatening Frank, but she’s threatening Lynn in Panel 2! If this family won’t accept her meddlesome advice, then they have to go. All of them. We can’t have it getting out that people can just, y’know, ignore the crazy old lady, now can we?

With Mary it’s “my way of the highway” – to Hell – and say hello to Aldo while you’re at it.
Little Guy
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

89: Re MT: And give Edda Burber some competition? Hmmm…. intriguing….

S-M Reboot: Why do I get the feeling that MJ is living with a non-paternal Anthony and Farley is Aunt May’s pet?
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

SForth: Gotta hand it to Marciuliano: – in just a few days’ strips, he manages to: throw temptation in Ted’s path; turn Sally (instantly) into an insecure jealous bitch; mess up their relationship (again, instantly) – AND: cap it with one of the Great Stupid Comic Lines Evah (“Someone’s hot for your chili, Ted!”). More narrative action in a week than we we’ve seen in months of A3G or 9CL!

Curtis – How long is Kwanzaa supposed to last again? 7-8 days? Or has Ray Billingsley decided to make it, like Ramadan, into a month-long ~~ordeal~~ festival?

SFox: OK, Mr. Weber: we know that Slylock is supposed to always be dressed in his cape and deerstalker as an simple identification device for the younguns: but while SCUBA diving???. At least Max Mouse is appropriately clad; but since he wears swim trunks all the time anyway, it’s not quite the same.

JP: I really really hope nothing permanently bad happens to Dixie: she’s the best (new?) comics character I’ve seen in a long time: rather like Faith from BtVS – the Violent Bad Girl you almost can’t help but root for. I hope she merely gets captured and sent up: that way, they can do a summer storyline about “Dixie’s Jailbreak” – probably by having her fashion an automatic pistol from a toothbrush and some hairpins, and then biting her way through the chainlink fence.
Lanfranc
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

So I’m guessing the coming week will be “Awkward and poorly written exposition” Week in Spider-Man?

Oh, wait. That’s every week in Spider-Man.
gogiggs
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

In a development that is not at all surprising on the comics page, Rex Morgan thinks we’re still fighting WWI, thus making warm socks the perfect gift for the doughboy stuck in the freezing trenches of northern France.

Meanwhile, in Mark Trail, our latest facial hair sporter comes across a dead animal, a development which despite being entirely expected in a swamp full of people who kill animals for fun, still seems to surprise him. Or maybe he’s just angry he wasn’t there for the good part.
Steve T.
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

Zits is getting more dirty minded by the day. Do they think we don’t know why teenage boys take long showers? Mm, five hours, Jeremy must have had himself quite a time in there.

And in p. 4 why has Walt’s chin collapsed to his chest in shame and despair? Because he knows. He remembers. And oh god how he misses it.
Comrade Denny
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

The best (as in, “worst”) thing about today’s S-M reboot is that they felt the need for awkward and obvious expository dialogue AND a whole panel devoted to explaining the exposition. Remember, kiddies, the key to writing Spider-Man is to always tell and never, ever show. Anything.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

SonoraWhispers, if massive suspension of disbelief is what is required to get two guys kissing in the funny papers, I’m all for it.

Josh, you left out what I thought was the best Christmas shout-out in the comics, mocking the traditional soap-comic Christmas: Monty!
http://comics.com/monty/2008-12-25/
AMC
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth – Aria is going to turn out to be gay, making everything alright again.

And, if you are interested in how intense the comic strip writing business was in the 1950s, you have to check out this episode of the popular radio show Suspense!, The Crisis of Dirk Diamond:

http://relicradio.com/shows/node/280
That One Chick
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

In reference to Mark Trail:
I know that someone’s already said it, and that it’s tacky and tasteless and terrible but…

It’s not rape if you yell surprize!
kingklash
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Was Pete talking about the other woman, or himself? Either way, it puts me off my chili.
Paul1963
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man: I haven’t been able to verify it, but I’ve heard that sales on the now-three-times-a-month Amazing Spider-Man title, featuring the never-married, living-with-Aunt May “Brand New Day” adventures of Spidey, have fallen below their level prior to the deal with Mephisto.

I still say that if May knew about that deal, she’d slap Peter’s eyes loose. After all, he gave up his marriage to his beautiful young wife in order to save the life of his 70-year-old aunt who’d been close to death so many times the cemetery probably just kept a green tarp over her open grave…
Paul1963
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

Crap, forgot to close the italics…
Anne
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

So is the big Spiderman change just that every day, there will be a text box explaining that there is a big change?
papa zita
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

@92: I kept wishing Mary Worth to become a meddlesome version of Dorothea Puente. It would jazz up the strip, which I find interminably boring. I can only take so much MW before it’s not even fun to snark at.
Uncle Lumpy
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

#105 Anne –

They could make Spiderman one big text box (and it would be an improvement!), but that would muscle in on Mallard Fillmore’s turf.
kalki
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

9CL: Great. Now I picture that joker’s hand in the 2nd panel having sex. Thanks, Brooke! fucker

Archie: I think Archie should try and seduce and then blackmail Ms. Grundy. Time to man up, Archibald.

Blondie: Because Dagwood obviously reeks of style and fashion…and old salami and soda…and stale breast milk…

DTM: “Just like your dad…cover things in chocolate to make them taste better…well do you two wanna know how long it takes to wash dried chocolate off your cooch? WELL DO YOU!!??”

CIrcusJerk: “Yeah, well I’m horny, kid. I’ll wrestle you for the last hot dog weiner.”

FW: I’m officially changing Les’ line in the last panel to “I don’t know why I haven’t done you sooner.” It makes more sense given what is about to happen.

Hi/Lois: Oh, no…Chip has bridged the circuit. Dot watches in horror as Chip is immediately transported to the lair of almighty Cthulhu.

GA: Isn’t it time to go check on some other characters now?

Luann: “Uh…a little past January. Isn’t it time for you bitches to go get a job or laid or something?”
Olz
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

The MT of 2009/12/31 shouldn’t pass without comment. Mark explains that the plan to make him “disappear ” was to take him to another country. Much like people used to take dogs they had grown tired of out to country and hope they could not find their back. The way Mark says it implies that he thinks it would have worked.
Brent
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

The Spider-man thing is all because Joe Quesada can’t stand the idea of married superheroes. Me, I can’t stand the idea of Joe Quesada as an editor.
bats :[
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

88. commodorejohn re JP: Det. Heidi told the SWAT team to search the oleanders. Oleanders are very full, very tall shrubberies common in central and southern Arizona, and they are/were used a lot for landscaping over the years (they’re water-hogs, but that’s a MT tangent…). Dixie could be backed up into a hedgerow of oleander, and it would look just like this, a very lush background.
Oleander is also poisonous as hell. When they’ve been introduced into new environments here, native populations of cicadas have died because these insects suck the sap/juice from plant-tips, and when it’s oleander, it’s curtains for them. People have also been poisoned by stripping leaves from a sturdy oleander branch and using it as a spit/skewer for grilling a steak or making kabobs or toasting marshmallows. The pretty red, pink or white flowers are also poisonous, and they can be an attractive nuisance for kids.
A lot of Arizonans dislike oleander intensely because while it’s a nice, green, leafy plant, it’s not a native species, it uses way too much water, and it’s toxic.
Whew! I’ve got enough material here for a MT Sunday strip!
Angry Kem
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

B.C., get medieval.

Nancy is continuing its descent into inexplicable bizarreness today. I wonder if it would help if somebody slapped it?

Re. the comment someone made earlier about “Brand New Day” from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog: it’s actually been going through my head ever since this infernal Spider-Man plot twist happened. Luckily, it’s a good song. If I must have an ear-worm, I don’t mind it being something from DHSAB.
Craig
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Paul1963 says:
“Spider-Man: I haven’t been able to verify it, but I’ve heard that sales on the now-three-times-a-month Amazing Spider-Man title, featuring the never-married, living-with-Aunt May “Brand New Day” adventures of Spidey, have fallen below their level prior to the deal with Mephisto.”

In theory, yes. Per issue, I’ve also heard that Amazing Spider-Man moves fewer issues now when compared to pre-OMD sales on the title.

However, pre-OMD, Marvel was selling one issue of Amazing Spider-Man, one issue of Sensational Spider-Man, and one issue of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man each month. Sales on Amazing were much higher than sales on the other two books.

Post-OMD, Marvel sells three issues of Amazing Spider-Man each month. They focus their staff in order to present one consistent vision of Spidey’s adventures instead of three titles of varying qualities. Sales on Amazing have dipped (some say due to the OMD backlash, others say it’s because spending $9 per month on a single comic book title is outside their budget), but when compared to sales on Sensational and Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, I’m sure they are much higher, thus resulting in as many or more issues of Spider-Man books being sold each month, which means they didn’t lose money (and possibly could be making more money).

Additionally, comic book companies are enjoying a new stream of revenue through trade paperback sales at mainstream book stores (Barnes and Noble, among others). Being able to present the same number of Spider-Man trade paperbacks, albeit with top-rate writers and artists on them, would logically lead to better sales. Also, keeping one group of plot threads increases the chance of repeat sales (as opposed to people being confused when they pick up a Sensational Spider-Man trade paperback volume 3, and Amazing Spider-Man trade paperback volume 4 is a completely different story).
Perky Bird
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

# 111 bats :[ –

So that’s what Dixie is holding in her right hand–an oleander skewer!

We had oleanders down in South Texas, too. When someone would leave the car window down while the air conditioner was on, my grandmother used to call out, as a reminder, “Hey, oleanders, are you cool out there?” (Aren’t grandmothers full of wonderful little sayings?)
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

More information about oleander…
Talking Squirrel
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

SF: “Someone’s hot for your chili, Ted!”
“Shut up, Peter!” (as Ted, with those delicate hands of his, mimes Edvard Munch’s oeuvre)

Yeah, Peter, stifle! You know Ted’s sensitive about the size of his beans.
Joe the Plugger
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

9CL: You know, they’re just going to award the prize to Amos, which means that the entire second performance was pure padding. It didn’t advance the Amos and ~~Andy~~Edda romance. It didn’t give us any new insight into Amos’ massive cello skills. It didn’t even give us any jokes (or any attempt at jokes). What a waste of time.
Erik
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

At first I thought that capslocked line read BIG DONGS AFOOT IN SPIDER-MAN!

In which case Rex probably would have been grim because he was missing it.
CanuckDownSouth
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

Y’know, Spider-Man, it says something that the last time I can remember Marvel continuity making any sense was the by-design self-contained Age of Apocalypse.

They HAVE a multiverse – the Capt Brit enumeration puts the main series on Earth-616 – they could have left that poor, boring strip with just a shred of dignity but no-ooo [/rant]

Oh, and finally getting back to the FOOBfic
Paperback Rifler
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

Welcome back, Josh; and congratulations on the Weblog Award nomination! Hoooo! Vote early and often, everybody!

On a more somber note, this is what I have to pass off as snark:

Spider-Man: Peter: “Thanks for letting me sleep” — Wow! Not only does he get a bright ‘n’ shiny continuity reboot, but it looks like our friendly neighborhood webhead has a brand-new catchphrase to go along with it! Excelsior, y’all!

Family Circus: “Lunchy”?! “Lunchy”?! Well, Artist formerly known as Ben has already pointed out the actual dictionary definition of “lunchy;” but maybe we can all take this opportunity to give KeaneCo a hand by generating Dolly malaprops that might actually turn out to be funny, or at the very least, not turn out to be painfully unfunny:

Upon practicing for her trumpet lesson: “I’m feelin’ very horny right now, Mommy.”
Upon besting her siblings in a footrace: “I guess I’m just a born racist!”
Upon reminiscing about the family’s recent trip to the coast: “We all got crabs.”

Okay; so it’s more difficult than it looks. Fine.

Ripley’s Believe It or Not!: I don’t believe it.

9 Chickweed Lane: I generally don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but I actually have resolved to stop reading this strip as soon as they announce the winner of this Concours Forrest-whatever. First of all, I can’t stand that the pacing of the strip is so slow that, with regard to storylines, it’s in danger of getting lapped by strips like Mary Worth and Apartment 3-G. More grating, however, is the strip’s preoccupation with Edda and Amos’ sexual relationship. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind so much if the strip were simply attempting to depict two characters’ exploring their sexuality. It’s part of life, after all. My objection is to the absurd conceit that the WHOLE WORLD is obsessed with Edda and Amos’ allegedly sexy shenanigans, so much so that the whole world breathlessly watches broadcasts of pirated footage of the two of them canoodling. I also object to the additional absurd conceit that sex has given Edda and Amos super-sexy musical powers that cause their listeners to lose control and couple with whoever happens to be handy. To that, I say, “Whatever;” and I’ll point out that Edda and Amos are relatively inexperienced lovers, so if their music is anything like what their lovemaking would be at that level, then we could reasonably expect that their musical performance would be awkward, arhythmic, and somewhat apologetic. Also, the two of them would be completely out of sync since Amos would be finished with his part long before Edda even reached the halfway mark.

Geez, so what was my point? Oh yeah — I’ll stop reading 9 Chickweed Lane as soon as they announce the winner of the cello contest thing. Or maybe even sooner. Closure be damned!
Oregonian
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

#111 Bats – The “poisoned by oleander skewers” story has literally been around for centuries, and I used to believe it too. Turns out, though, that there’s no evidence at all that even one person has ever been poisoned that way.

“Though we’ve searched for news stories about such a tragedy, we haven’t found any, not even an account of a non-fatal poisoning.”
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/poison/oleander.asp
UncleJeff
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke: Mrs. Suburban Hitler wants Marmy to get over his cold so that he can chase down and eat those last remaining Christmas guests who have overstayed their welcome.
Pluggers: Despair. The New American Workingman’s Dream.
Dr. Weird
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

75 Angry Kem-

9CL: If this goes on for much longer, some reader somewhere is going to snap and try to burn down Brooke McEldowney’s house. I shall simply watch and laugh.

That would be wrong.

It’d be more appropriate to fiddle while it burns. Or perhaps play the cello.
Dr. Weird
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

And I managed to put my own comment in the quote! Previewing just twice is NOT ENOUGH!
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

That all just goes to show that the cautionary tales about oleander poisoning have served their purpose well.
Angry Kem
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

#123 Dr. Weird: Hell…I think we could probably get a whole band together. Anyone here play the fiddle? Or the cello? Or both? I offer my accordion as accompaniment. We shall journey to Brooke’s house, watch as angry and nauseated people set fire to it, and play entirely non-sexualised polkas as the roof bursts into flames. When Brooke runs frantically out into the street, we shall give him a rousing chorus of “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again.”
bats :[
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

It’s awful when I’m depending on Sarah (and a guest appearance by Andrea McArdle) to carry the story:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3160787438/sizes/o/
Aviatrix
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

In the astonishment over finding a dead animal in a swamp, we’ve all overlooked the fact that MT took out a villain without using his right fist.

And oleanders are poisonous to horses. Perhaps that’s the source of the myth.
Vince M
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

DT – it looks like Tess is doing her impression of the Christ of the Ozarks statue.
bats :[
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

121. Oregonian: I am so depressed! (Well, I guess I shouldn’t be, but still…)
A friend’s father was an insurance agent, and the story of a client’s small child (probably not his client, but the client of an associate or some such) who’d been playing in oleander and had his/her skin around the eye punctured by a piece of oleander branch, which was accidentally not removed by the E.R. doctor, leading to the child’s death, is most likely not true. Huh.
I do maintain, based on the account by a reputable entomologist at the University of Arizona, that cicadas can be poisoned by feeding on oleander. When given the option of killing one species or ‘tuther, I suppose wasting cicadas is preferable.

Right now, I’m wondering whether hippos can float and/or swim, or not…
Comrade Denny
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

#129 – Vince M

I thought Tess looked zonked out on LSD or something. Could that be the secret to the good doctor’s perfume?

…

Now that I think about it, it could be some sort of mind-control perfume of which Tess’s moon-eyed enthusiasm is a by-product… an exploding mind-control perfume. The possibilities for Scanners-level carnage are so extreme that I can’t see how the writers of DT could pass it up.

…

Then again, she might be trying out for Sgt. Elias in “Platoon – The Musical.”
Obélix
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth – Holy Crap! Aria actually displays cleavage (surely a first for SF) in two panels of Friday’s strip. Like a neutered dog coming upon a bitch in heat, Ted vaguely senses that he should be having some kind of reaction, but he cannot recall exactly what it is. Well done, Ces!
commodorejohn
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

#127 bats :[ – “There’s a boy! Onthedeckoftheship!“
Annon
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

#94: This.

#100: And this.
Perky Bird
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail 1/2/09
Sue: You and Mark have taught me a lot. Most notably, if something has a collar, it is much easier to chain to a log!
Uncle Lumpy
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

#120 PR –

I actually have resolved to stop reading this strip as soon as they announce the winner of this Concours Forrest-whatever.

But this being 9CL, they won’t announce the winner — they’ll announce the runner-up, and we’ll be left to infer the winner. That’s the way this strip works: McEldowney is in love with negative space.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

#118, Erik,

At first I thought that capslocked line read BIG DONGS AFOOT IN SPIDER-MAN!

New title: Peter Parker, Pecker Packer.
Muffaroo
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

#9, #9, #9, #9… – The sound of one hand fapping.

MFmore – It’s like there’s a picture that could be Obama, only it’s embedded in a picture that could be an elephant, because somebody told Tinsley you have to make the ears big and the chin long in order to have a caricature. Too bad they didn’t tell him that the exaggerated features should correspond with something of the person being drawn.

S-Man – “So, you see, True Believers, we just wanted to make it abundantly clear to even the most credulous among you that comics are just fiction — a mere construct of lines on paper commanding no suspension of disbelief whatsoever. To drive the point home, we’ll be making other capricious changes to Spidey’s universe in coming weeks and months, including changing his hair to match the animated cartoon, adding to and subtracting from his family in the supporting cast, having him work as a fireman for a while, having him spell out simple words in an educational way, and finally, having Peter accidentally walk in on Uncle Ben in the shower. And remember: we don’t really care. Excelsior! Face front!”

This is worse than “The Virtue of Vera Valiant.”
Muffaroo
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

Steve the Pocket @16 – re: the here and now. Amen, amen, amen.

One-eyed Wolfdog @42 – deja vu! My favorite opera these days seems to be Hary Janos. Who knew that Porgy and Bess could ever be eclipsed in my affection? Or Carmen?

Paul1963 @103 – Italics cannot dim the luster of your great line about Aunt May and the green tarp.

Olz @109 – Making him disappear like that reminds me of the South Park from this season where the Goth kids decide to ship the Vampire kid off to some place he’ll never come back on. It has to be a miserable hell hole… brief pause, then they all say in unison: “Scottsdale!”

Paperback Rifler @120 – I have actually resolved to stop reading this strip as soon as they announce the winner… So you’re going to read it for the next six months?

formerly Ben @137 – I’ve always said that “Peter Parker” is a synonym for “Jock Strap.”
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

So, in this spiderdork relaunch, do you think Uncle Ben will be around to pull Apewill out of the raging river?
Uncle Lumpy
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

#140 Anonymous –

I bet Jameson gives Peter a big advance cheque.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

bats:[@130
Adult cicadas do not eat. (No working mouth-parts.) So it would have to be the grubs feeding on oleander who would die, which is I’m sure possible.
Comrade Denny
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

#141 – Uncle Lumpy

For what? Hanging a camera from an eavestrough? He’ll just let Peter be on pogey and make do with this old runners. So long at Zombie Peter still has Shreddies and homo milk for breakfast instead of a two-four, he’ll be fine.

…
* All Canadianisms courtesy of CMU.
Deena in OR
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

121 Oregonian (Hey! Howdy there, btw….) Re: Oleanders.
There were oleanders all over the place when we were stationed in Bermuda when I was a kid. I don’t remember much about any of us getting poisoned, but I DO remember getting scratched by the pointy ends of the leaves and needing calamine lotion-similar to a reaction caused by poison ivy.
iwantedapeanut
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Really, the only rational response to the question “What’s the point of skating anymore?” is “What the hell was the point of skating in the first place? I mean, you could have been out there curing diseases, or digging wells for African villages, or hell, even being a plumber – you know, making some sort of contribution to society. Instead, you made the decision – the conscious decision, mind you – to piss away your life jumping around on a man-made ice field while wearing ridiculous outfits and synchronizing your movements to some too-loud and invariably horrible music. In short, there is no point in skating, and there never was, so either just get a real job and tell your dad to go to hell already, or kill yourself. Either way, I’m tired of listening to your whining.”

Mary could then walk away and hop on the next flight home, secure in the knowledge that she’s made a difference in the world.

Side note: Rex looks pretty pissed off about having to wish our troops a merry Christmas – what is he, some sort of communist?
bats :[
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

142. LBFF: the ones in Arizona eat. They emerge from the soil, get rid of their cocoons/larval shell/whatever (they are the full adults at that point, ready to mate), and then crawl or fly up into trees or other foliage to hide and sing and mate. They can pierce the softer tips of the foliage to get to the sap. In those years when we have a big hatch-out (the species here emerge annually, not like those piker 17-year types), there will be noticeable dying of stem/branch tips.
Poteet
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

# 86 — Thank you, kind Spunky!

JP– Re oleander, it’s also turning out to be invasive. Groan. So it’s one more headache for land managers, on top of hiding attractive and mildly-deranged criminals.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
January 2nd, 2009 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

bats:[@146
Damn, I had to look that one up. We’re both right, I think — apparently they don’t eat, but they do drink (that is, suck sap from plants). But in the case of insects, I guess that makes me basically wrong. But they do not bite, which is good to know when you are walking through a cloud of them.

We have both types in the Chicago area, thought the 17-year cicada has not made it to most parts of the city yet. They only expand their territory once every 17 years, so it’s a slow process.

The annual ones are bigger, but the the 17-year variety comes out in truly alarming quantities.
Joe Blevins
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

Oh, Spidey! I didn’t think it was possible, but you’ve web-slung your way into my heart with this hilariously artless reboot. This plays like a Monty Python sketch wherein a “Scene Missing” card is used as a cheap, quick, absurdist transition.
Joe Blevins
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

One more thing to love about the Spidey reboot is that the strip ended the previous storyline by boldly admitting it was out of ideas and shamelessly repeating itself. I love you, Stan Lee! Mwah!
Chance
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

Haiku to Mark Trail

Mark shoots like a spear
Into a foe’s exposed ass
Horizontally
Amateur
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

SM: “Because — with great power comes great responsibility” makes all kinds of sense as a reason for totally wiping out a strip’s entire storyline, huh? Might as well have made it “Because — to get to the other side!” or “Because — that’ll make it easier to chain to a log!”
dale
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

97 – Steve T. – Zits

In real life, Walt would be concerned about the cost of the water and heating it.
For me it would be a minimum of $20., but there’s no way a domestic water heater could keep up with the demand.
Stig
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

I’m going to go out on a limb, internet strangers, and declare Scott Meets Family Circus as my favorite thing of 2009.
MDG
January 3rd, 2009 at 4:57 am [Reply]

Oh great, first FBOFW decides to redo its storyline, now Spider-man is doing it too? What other comics are going to jump on the retread bandwagon?
Calico
January 3rd, 2009 at 10:44 am [Reply]

#17 – Sue found the crazy water-making jug from the Jimson Weed Curtis fest. Now she can’t stop sneezing, vomiting, and belching up swamp critters.

FC – Holy shit – can PJ finally walk, or did Billy turn into a skinhead?
Madame Incognita
January 5th, 2009 at 3:36 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan Prediction # 3: Isn’t it obvious? The boat heading into international waters despite the crew’s strike, the rudeness of the Morgans’ dining partners, the shadiness of Mr. Guido…
10 to 1 says Mr. Toady Dunsmore is the CEO of the cruise line, and the boat is heading farther out because Toady and Mrs. Malificent Dunsmore are on the lam. Either that, or the CEO is the kid with the donut. That would explain the cruise line going bankrupt, at least.

And yes, this is late and in an old post, but I’m still reading the papers from the past week.
ms. docweasel
January 5th, 2009 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

re: #145
see #74~
Anonymous
January 6th, 2009 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

Picture this: In the box, an overweight dog-man looks quizzically at a plunger. A button on his shirt reads “Watch out for the Socialists.” Below, the caption: “Pluggers don’t need no fancy plumbing licenses.”

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