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At Happy Otter Schools, all teachers are genuine aquatic mustelids

In order to put today’s Rex Morgan, M.D., into its full delightful context, we need to backtrack to yesterday’s strip. Heather, the Morgans’ long-ago former nanny who they decided to fire because they wanted to raise their daughter themselves but then she quit before they could fire her so she could start a day school where they’d send Sarah anyway, has now decided to sell that day school so she can monitor her lunatic husband full-time instead:

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/13/13

Aw, Happy Otter Schools! That sounds nice!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/14/13

…nice for other children, that is. Lesser children. Sarah is different and shouldn’t have her mind contaminated by some garbage Canadian McPrivateschool chain. Only the very best and most elite schools are good enough for Sarah. Sarah’s non-Morgan classmates, who have also been Heather’s beloved pupils, will not be hearing anything about this “really good” school. The name is probably in some language that poor people don’t even speak!

Hagar the Horrible, 9/14/13

Oh, look, it’s apparently complaining about double negatives week in the comics! I’ll say this for Hagar: it’s at least true that negative concord was not a feature of Old Norse. (In fact, that may be why it’s absent from Northern English dialects!) So, props for historically accurate linguistic peevery, I suppose.

In other news, Hagar the Horrible is doing the “Hagar tries and fails to cheat on his wife” thing it does every few years or so.

Mark Trail, 9/14/13

Now we know why Senator Mason is so eager to drill for oil in Lost Forest: his daughter’s boyfriend desperately needs petroleum byproducts to maintain his magnificent pompadour. Our nation’s current strategic reserves simply aren’t adequate for the task.

Blondie, 9/14/13

Welcome to today’s Blondie, where the punchline only offers that element of surprise necessary for humor to those readers who are so senile that they have no idea what month it is. Do these guys know their audience or what?

200 responses to “At Happy Otter Schools, all teachers are genuine aquatic mustelids”

  1. BeckoningChasm
    September 14th, 2013 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    Wow, first? Really?

    Actually, when they start putting out the pumpkin decorations in mid-August in the real world, I can perfectly understand the Blondie joke.

  2. Midtown
    September 14th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    MT: (Johnny Darling pinches Annemarie) “Oh, Johnny, be good!”

  3. Lumaca Morente
    September 14th, 2013 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    Doonesbury: Will somebody PLEASE cut out this strip and mail it to Brooke McEldowney?

    Meanwhile, the Sunday Edge City: who thought that Edge City would be the first comic strip to broach the “ED commercial” subject?

  4. Droopy Says
    September 14th, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    Spider and Spiderer: El Condor is annoyed. “The Tarantula, I never promised to release your sister! I threatened to execute her within an hour if you did not surrender! Where did you get this insane idea that I would release her?”

    The Tarantula is affronted. “Senor Dictator, I was watching TV with Spiderman and . . . oh.”

    Family Circus: And thus Bil learns of Dolly’s squicky urge to play Juliet in “Brooke Bashes the Bard.”

  5. Lumaca Morente
    September 14th, 2013 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in Mark Trail: Zombie Ronald Reagan.

  6. Doctor Bombay
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    MT: Whatever contrasting reality away from the “Hill” the good Senator is trying to achieve in a district encompassing “that wilderness area”, by hanging his daughter’s latest paint by number rendering of a water powered lumber mill, is broken every time his harsh “DING DONG” door bell rings out.

  7. Hibbleton
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    MT: What is the age of consent in Lost Forrest? The Senator’s daughter looks 13 in the second panel. Makes sense, though, with Jerry Lee Lewis at the door.

  8. lorne
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Today’s fussily humourless non-punchline in Hagar is brought to you by Grammarly.

  9. lorne
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    Is Johnny’s last name Romney?

  10. The Ridger
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    To be fair, there’s no way we can tell that’s Christmas music.

  11. Rusty
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    HtH: It’s always disconcerting when a fern bar joke from the 1970′s is depicted by Vikings. Well, a Viking and a hawt women of indeterminate era. Is that Blue Nun in her wine goblet?

  12. Eric
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    MT: Our first clue to the reveal when we find out that the Senator, Mr. Rochester style, is concealing an imprisoned shut-in who compensates for the isolation of captivity by being bellicose and despotic about snack foods.
    “Want some refreshments?”
    “DING DONG”
    “Like Ding Dongs?… I’ll get you your processed cakes, Bertha, please don’t bellow at me in your great block letters…”

  13. The Ridger
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    Ps – wow. Look at the comments on that first RMMD page.

  14. Marc
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    9CL- Just when you think Brooke can’t make this any more idiotic, he pulls a magic ball of shit of his ass and take stupidity to new heights.

  15. Eric
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    MT: Alternately, maybe this is an absurdist examination of dysfunctional politeness, wherein everyone sits around unflinchingly pretending that it’s normal to have such a LOUD DOOR BELL. WHAT ABOUT NOISE POLLUTION, MARK TRAIL?

  16. seismic-2
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    MT: It’s not hard to see what the Senator’s daughter sees in Johnny de Pompadour. He’s tall, handsome, and suave, and he positively reeks of charming villainy. But does he have a big dog?

  17. Cloudbuster
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    ASM: Holy plot twist, Spidey! Who could have predicted this? I mean, other than everyone with cognitive skills equal to an average six-year-old. Do Spiderman and Tarantula have the proportional brain power of spiders?

  18. pugfuggly
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    RMMD “We’re sending Sarah to that Crafty Bobcat school instead. They assure me that bobcats will hunt down and kill otters for food or sport, and that’s the kind of attitude we’re hoping to instill.”

    HtH You know, I never really noticed it before, but Hagar does bear some resemblance to Rodney Dangerfield. Something about those eyes…

    MT So wait, is his name actually ‘Johnny Darling’? Are you sure it’s not ‘Johnny Oilman’, or ‘Johnny Lobbyist’ or maybe ‘Johnny Falselove-Smoothtalker’? I don’t like surprises when it comes to reading Mark Trail so I expect the character’s last names to spell out in as much detail as possible what they do in their personal and professional life.

    Blondie If you ever needed more proof that Blondie exists in some alternate dimension outside our perception of ‘time’, just watch how Blondie and Dagwood have a whole conversation about what month it is while walking in place, like a couple of gerbils in a wheel.

  19. casino LF
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    JP: Thalia, EXACTLY.

    FW: BRB just have to hang myself … wait, I can’t tie a noose with only one arm! WHY GOD. God, seriously, this strip is the worst.

    ASM: Boy, that spidey sense really isn’t good for ANYTHING, is it? PS did this guy go to the Kingpin Finishing School for Giant Panel-Taking-Up Faces?

    A3G: I see Cole comes from my mom’s school of “Let’s not tell you bad news until after class.” Just pull me out of class and tell me my grandpa died. Just tell me you have a dang brain tumor already so I can frigging start to process it. Kee Rist. Do you know how angry your “kid” (term used loosely for the ageless Marty) is going to be at you when they find out you’ve been keeping it from them?

  20. Cloudbuster
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    JP: What could be hard about a door-to-door search of an urban slum in a famine-plagued, violence-ridden failed state? I’m sure the volunteers will be lining up for that duty!

  21. Cloudbuster
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    MW: Mary: When shit goes wrong, just accept it. You’re a helpless pawn with no agency. Your only hope is that an enlightened, nosy biddy will appear to meddle you onto the correct path!

  22. Hatlo Faction
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    A3G The return of [Margo! Saturn! Boxcar!]

  23. Cloudbuster
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    BB: I just want to note that jumping out of airplanes isn’t something normal soldiers do. This identifies Beetle’s unit, and Beetle himself, as fairly elite Airborne troops. I weep for the republic.

  24. Mibbitmaker
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#18): re:MT: That’s a good idea in general, really. Our Hero can be named Mark Punchguys, while our politician friend can be Senator Naturetraitor.

  25. pugfuggly
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    FC Dolly, why just be a princess on weekends? If you sign up with Disney World, you could be a princess 6 days a week, 10 hours a day, in a formal dress in the stifling Florida heat, entertaining little melon-headed kids like you used to be….

    MW Jesus, even by Mary Worth standards, this victory lap is pretty long. Of course if we hadn’t gone this long we wouldn’t have witnesses St Mary performing the miracle of conjuring up a waterfall in the middle of the Sonoran desert.

    SM He lied?? I did not see that coming! Well, mainly because I figured that Spiderman would have managed to knock himself out before they ever got to the prison.

  26. Cloudbuster
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#18): So wait, is his name actually ‘Johnny Darling’?

    SPOILERS!!!

    He will go on to become an Ohio newscaster, and later be murdered by Plantman. We’re assuming it was part of a revenge scheme concocted by “outdoor people” for his support of “commercial interests” that threatened to “ruin one of the few remaining beautiful areas.” Mark Trail’s involvement was never proven.

  27. pugfuggly
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#24):

    I’ve actually got a handy list of potential alternate names for Mark

    @Cloudbuster (#26):

    I…I just dropped my Kobayashi brand coffee cup….

  28. TheDiva
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    HtH: Language shmanguage, why is Hagar chatting up a woman in modern(ish) dress? My guess is that these “Vikings” are just very dedicated period reenactors, albeit not very accurate ones.

    MT: Johnny is probably the real villain here. Mark will have a hard time catching on to this since the senator is the one with the mustache.

  29. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    MW: “And one thing I have learned—the most important thing—is that hallucinogenic drugs make everything better! Oooh, pretty desert waterfall!”

    Dilbert: Well, that got dark pretty quickly.

    HtH: Hagar ponders his plight: to be a rough-hewn Viking warrior, who ought to be able to just grab a wench and have his way with her—not to mention speak any damned way he pleases because everyone around him is too terrified of his wrath to contradict him—but who lives in a chronologically unpredictable world, in which the cultural norms change at the whim of some capricious Creator and who therefore must sit meekly by and just take it when some wine-sipping grammarian like Miss Ann Achronism here shuts him down.

    ASM: It’s nice that if nothing else, the male residents of Costa Verde can agree on the Ethnic-Stereotype Mustache Parameters.

  30. bunivasal
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    That woman in Hagar the Horrible… is that Thel Keane with a pony tail? Of course she is. We all know the Keanes are timeless and eternal.

    My question is this: is she trolling Nordic bars correcting grammar and dancing through fires to illustrate the Glory of the One True God, or is she just looking for sweaty, hairy Viking sex?

  31. Me
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Remember Mark Trail that the lovely swim suits your wife wears (But you never notice!) are made from petroleum by products, or maybe nylon, how many nylon farms does it take to make Marks really bad shirts?
    I hope a lot, a lot of poor dumb people that work in far away countries like New Jersey will be out of work if Mark doesn’t let Pompadour dude have his way with the Senators daughter and the Senator over the issue of massive drilling in the “Wilderness Area” that Mark for some reason seems to be surprised by. He is really dumb isn’t he?
    Maybe Marks belt is made from some kind of synthetic that isn’t made from a cow, maybe its made from plastic.
    Useless to ask I know.

  32. Chris B
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail reveals himself as the ultimate NIMBY here. “Sure I fly to New York, fly small planes, use a power boat, drive a truck, take yachting holidays, but.. Oil?! NOT IN MY BACKYARD MISTER!”

  33. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    rCdS: everything is better with left-over giant ground sloths.

    Lio: AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!

    NAoQV: *snurk*

    rMC: the Tex Avery Virus, one of the bestest things around.

  34. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . playing doctor.

  35. TheDiva
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    9CL: *facepalm*

    A3G: “Just let me be apathetic towards my father in peace, won’t you?”

    C’shaft: So…she’s a hundred and twenty years old?

    FW: “Sorry, we were trying to think up a joke for this panel. Eventually we just up and said screw it.”

    MW: A yes, those beautiful waterfalls that are a classic feature of the Arizona desert…

    SM: Vat a tweest!

  36. Mibbitmaker
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    HtH: Uh…. punchline? Helooooo, punchline! ….Uh, could we please get a punchline for the final panel… um……….. punchline? Yoo-hoo, strip-ending dialogue! …..C’mon, seriously…… where ARE you?……

    MT: Aha! We now have an idea as to why the good senator changed his tune on the environment — this new Reaganesque boyfriend his daughter is seeing. In Mark Trail’s world, this is treasonous. The guy has a Reagan pompadour, but also hair half covering his ears, which makes him Mr. Villain in MT Land. He probably even got the old man to grow a mustache to bring him to the Trailian Dark Side, and used his President Ronnie charm to do it, too. It can get people to go along with an awful lot.

    Blondie: A true-to-life documentary, sadly.

    RMMD: “This Happy Otter school that replaces our old school will include a teacher from Canada itself, a woman named Elizabeth Patterson (her maiden name, I believe). Taught once at a place called…. Mtiguffin, I think it is. Believe me, June, you do NOT want your genius daughter taught by this woman!”

  37. Droopy Says
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#25): El Condor never promised to release Rosa; he promised to execute her within the hour if The Tarantula and Spiderdick didn’t surrender. Villain that he is, he’s lying about lying.

  38. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#26): I was gonna say: It’s her boyfriend, Johnny Darling!

  39. Ratiocinator
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Belated congratulations to bunivasal and all the floaters! I haven’t been very good about congratulating COTW winners and runners up in the past, and I’m gonna try to change that.

    And now, my snark for the day…

    RMMD: “Polly’s retiring because it quickly became obvious to her that as a parrot, she was not cut out for a job as Milton’s assistant. Not that very many humans are able to stand being around Milton eight hours a day either, mind you. I don’t know how I stay sane married to the irritable old fuck.”

    ASM: To quote TheDiva quoting Robot Chicken parodying M. Night Shyamalan: “WHAT A TWEEST!”

    Slylock: When St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland, they had to go somewhere. To this day, fish and crabs living in the waters around Ireland fucking hate St. Patrick.

  40. Lily Sincere
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    A chain of day schools out of Toronto called Happy Otter Schools? I wonder if there was a quick name change when they decided to hit the US market…. “Hey, Wayne, I’m pretty sure that Happy Beaver Schools isn’t going to fly in the US, or here for much longer, and our affiliates, Happy Loon Schools…not quite the same problem, but still not good.”

    (Wayne’s parents named him for The Great One. Even my throwaway line characters have rich backstories.)

  41. Ratiocinator
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @BeckoningChasm (#1): True, but in my experience they don’t start putting up anything Christmas-y or playing Christmas music until after Halloween.

    @Lumaca Morente (#3): Or at least mail him the last panel.

    @Droopy Says (#4):

    The Tarantula is affronted. “Senor Dictator, I was watching TV with Spiderman and . . . oh.”

    His stupidity is contagious.

    @TheDiva (#35):

    SM: Vat a tweest!

    Damn it, I spelled my “what” with a W instead of a V. I should leave the Shyamalan impressions to the pros.

  42. Ratiocinator
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Lily Sincere (#40): For many, many years growing up, my family got a paper called the Beaver. And there was also a Beaver Lumber. (Heh, I just realized: Beavers. Wood. *giggles sophomorically*)

  43. Lenoxus
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Did anyone else see the post’s title and assume it had to do with Mark Trail?

    Speaking of MT, I like how this qualifies as a “debate” by virtue of an interrobang. I’d like to see that in a real debate sometime.

    Smith: “Now, the main policies in need of reform are those relating to immigration…”

    Jones: “Immigration!?”

    Smith: “I… I have no rebuttal to that. You win!”

    Blondie: I have to disagree with Josh here, because mentioning the current month is precisely how real people make this clichèd complaint.

  44. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    JOSH -

    I actually took the time to read your scholarly references that went your your Hagar comment.

    Actually, that’s not so unusual. The odd thing is that you got me to read Hagar.

  45. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#44): Does a double “your” negate it and make it “our”?

  46. Dartpaw86
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    I wish my teacher was an otter. Life would be so much more fun that way <3

  47. Digger
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Questions from today:
    What is John Darling doing in Mark Trail?
    What is Betty Rubble doing in Hagar the Horrible?
    And will Rusty’s beloved pals Molly and Oscar be attending the Happy Otter school?
    I can’t wait to find out.

  48. Bill
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Hagar the Horrible, 9/14/13 I ain’t, not getting it, none.

  49. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    This is a ferret thing as well.

    Barbie jokes just got real.

    TDP is a floofy Newf.

    I .gif you a corgi dance.

    I .gif you Ein. (corgi innnn SPACE!!!)

    you don’t see a Kerry Blue Terrier very often.

    a belated black cat for Friday the 13th.

    squeetah.

    A smile for Poteet.

  50. yaoi huntress earth
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    9CWL: This hit a new level of mary-sue dom.

  51. Ed Dravecky
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    I love Blondie for its absurdity: the giant sandwiches, the crazy workplace, Christmas music in Septem… what? Macy’s New York has already turned their 6th floor into a holiday wonderland with Santa, elves, and Christmas tunes? Curse you, reality!

  52. Downpuppy
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    I thought the only women in Viking bars were whores and vengeance demons.
    Oh, wait…
    Carry on, Anyanka.

  53. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: No one could have predicted that El Condor would go back on his word. No one. (Man, that mustache is not doing Richard Bull any favors.)

    Apt. 3-G: Holy $#@☆! Do you see the kind of language they’re using in the funny papers these days? Lumaca Morente, do you have your cranky letter typewriter ready?

    Archie: It’s less the rejection that Archie flinches from – that’s actually the sick kink that he seeks out – so much as the spittle. He has sunk low, lower than he ever thought possible. Even so, he’s working up the courage to ask if the ump needs to inspect his bat for pine tar before he comes up again.

    The Better Half: Uh, this one hits a little close to home. Admit it, fools!

    Cul de Sac:

    while the rest of the world is asleep
    below the mine shaft roads
    it will all unfold
    there’s a world going on
    underground

    Has anyone ever speculated that what we see in Heathcliff is in fact the transitional stages of rising animal sentience that gave us the dystopia of Slylock Fox? Because yeah. One minute you allow the cats to poop indoors, the next they’re riding you around like colonial masters. The moment after that? Boom! Garbage ape. It’s all downhill from there. Only the strong and the green will survive.

    Mary Worth: No, what you can learn from this is that Mary Worth is a serial killer with a fondness for rocks. Bend over, please: I’m going to change your life now.

    Sinfest: ‘Nique’s fan speaks for us all.

  54. Illustrator Steve
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    MT – “Surveyors are in that wilderness area because of the oil exploration bill!”

    “My name is Mark, senator, so please don’t call me Bill!”

    “Okay, DING DONG!”

  55. Liam
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    FC-No, but there’ll be jobs that’ll let Jeffy be a queen.

    MT-Johnny, watch out. Some animal has perched itself on top of your head.

    MT 2-Johnny’s hair is like a cartoon character’s hair.

    MT 3-”We need all the oil we can get for Johnny’s hair.”

    MW-Or how can I exploit this to my advantage.

    RMMD-It’s a place in New York run by a man named Charles Xavier.

    Archie-Yeah. They move the distance on the restraining order back.

    Hagar-Are all the writers of comic strips Grammar Nazis? That might explain why there are no jokes in comics. They are too busy making sure what they write is grammatical correct instead of funny.

  56. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, down the street from queek…

  57. Écureuil Écumant
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    HtH: I dunno about “Complaining About Double Negatives Week” in the comics as a whole, but it certainly seems to be ’58 Caddy Bumper Guard Day in Hagar.

  58. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#56): well, that escalated quickly!

    *chuckles*

  59. Flonatin of Bologna
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    DtM: The most menacing yet.

    FC: Sorry, Dolly. There are such jobs, but they don’t go to girls.

    HtH: This is a case for the Silent Ultimate Panel Watch!

    Shoe: Looking at everyone’s facial expressions, it’s obvious that they’re in a crossover with Funky Winkerbean.

  60. remmy
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    9CL: Holy fuck cheez wiz dumplings on a platter of shit. Retire Brooke. I’ll start the fund with $5.

  61. Écureuil Écumant
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#41): “True, but in my experience they don’t start putting up anything Christmas-y or playing Christmas music until after Halloween.”

    It would violate the law that forbids intermingling of advertising between Satanist and Christian holy days.

  62. greghousesgf
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    That woman sitting next to Hagar looks like she was drawn by a totally different cartoonist. It looks kind of unsettling.

  63. Écureuil Écumant
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    MT: At last, an appropriate use for the Athabasca Tar Sands!

  64. Liam
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Hagar the Horrible-”If you want respect you’re going to have to pay me more.”

  65. Cloudbuster
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Phantom: OK, I laughed unironically at “Gurkk!” “I didn’t get that! Sounded like you said ‘Gurkk’.”

  66. McManx
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    S Fox: Six differences — #1 Snake has fangs, then does not. #2 Snake does not recall he is a land animal and thus needs air to breathe, then he does. #3 Snake is oblivious he will drown, then he realizes he if fucked. #4, 5, and 6 differences are moot.

    Hi & Lois — I just got a flash image of Thirsty’s wife changing his diaper…. then I threw up in my mouth. Thanks Walker and Browne.

  67. Northern lurker
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    MT: why do they need to drill in the wilderness? Johnny Darling has enough oil in his hair to sustain a small country.

  68. Cloudbuster
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Lily Sincere (#40): “We’ve done some market research on a new name we think is going to be really popular! Happy Vagina School for Girls! We’ve got a boys’ offering in the works: Penis Prep!”

  69. captainswift
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Ah, every year Christmas (retail Christmas, that is) starts immediately after Labor Day, and every year, people complain about how Christmas keeps getting earlier. The funny thing is, you can trace versions of these jokes going all the way back to the World War II era, and still people continue to be astonished by it.

  70. Cloudbuster
    September 14th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Lily Sincere (#40): The Great One

    By that I’m assuming you mean John Wayne. Or possibly Wayne Campbell.

  71. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Sarah is going directly from day school to Harvard. When she graduates in a year, she will become a Senator after finding a loophole in the Constitution’s age requirements. After two years, it’s Secretary of State, followed quickly by becoming President. By the time she’s 18, her only remaining life options will be “drugged-out has-been” or “energy being”.

  72. Liam
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Blondie-”But who wants to hear the muzak version of Nine Inch Nails.”

  73. bats :[
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#18): re MT: ah, yes…a worthy scion of the (Mr. Howard) Falselove and (Evelyn nee Tightknees) Smoothtalker clans. Didn’t they have a lovely private yacht up on Cape Haddock?

  74. bats :[
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#42): Beaver Woods. The child that no one in Tiger Woods’ family talks about…

  75. Jurgan
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    A pink blouse, pearl necklace, and gold hoop earrings. Love the authentic Norse garb.

  76. Mincemeat
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    MW: Apparently Mary and Shannon have been enjoying a traditional Tucson breakfast of peyote omelets and Jimsonweed tea. Enjoy the beautiful waterfall before the vomiting and psychosis kicks in, gals.

    MT: Drilling for oil is only supposed to happen in places no one cares about, like Texas or Montana. Pretty places like Lost Forest are supposed to be exempt!

  77. I speak Jive
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean – Something that has been puzzling me: how in the world does Becky manage to pin up her sleeve every freaking time? It is not just pinned up; it is done very neatly. I can’t imagine how she does this with only one hand. Does she buy all her clothes with the sleeve already pinned up?

  78. walt d.
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    MT: My question about the daughter’s generation seems answered. Has to be the 1950s, although with retro one can never be sure.

    MT: They could just drill in that guy’s hair.

    MT: NIMBY.

    Hagar: A bar maid might dis a Viking, but I don’t know that an unaccompanied female customer would. Although Hagar isn’t a very fierce Viking.

    9CL: Huh! I really have to remind myself of my own assertion that this is all whimsical. Yeah, it’s sort of funny, but every bit of it is simply wrong. Even in the context of the story, I swear that the response of the townspeople would be, “Great, maybe we’ll finally be rid of that quack and can get a real vet.” In any context you like, it’s not that easy to steal, hide, and feed a cow–especially if you are a “townsperson”.

    RMMD: Numerous points, prominent among them being that Heather, who had no qualifications for running a “school” that I know of, has taken it upon herself to find a new (and better) school for Sarah.

    RMMD: Perhaps I misremember, but I thought Milton’s assistant was a youngish woman herself. Probably “retiring” wasn’t her idea.

    NS: I don’t wander along the street messing with a phone or other device myself, but this looks a lot like “crabby old man bitching about young people”.

  79. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#70): Party on.

  80. Baka Gaijin
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#41) on Christmas Creep: Christmas has landed in the chocolate aisles of big stores in central Europe. Once the last pencil boxes and folders are sold, Christmas takes over the seasonal aisle, a time I estimate to be around the third weekend of September.

    @Écureuil Écumant (#57): Wow, I thought they stopped selling “Dagmars” ages ago.

  81. Alex Blaze
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Hagar crammed the set-up and punchline into the first panel to give readers what they really want in panel 2: staring off into space! It’s innovations like these that’ll keep the comics relevant to younger audiences.

  82. Joe
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Lio – What’s the current turnaround time for daily comics? I used to think it was at least a month before one would go into print, so I was surprised to find a Miley Cyrus joke in today’s comic. That being said, yes, a standee of Miley Cyrus twerking does make for a very scary Halloween decoration.

  83. theironjef
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Dagwood and Blondie walking together always leaves me thinking that Dagwood is wounded somehow. I’m sure it’s just that they wholesomely walk everywhere with her clinging tenaciously to him so other men know not to even look, but it looks like she’s supporting him so they can get to the MASH tent before he bleeds out.

  84. Braniff
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @captainswift (#69): If I’m not mistaken, there was a reference to an old Peanuts television special about Christmas being celebrated before Easter. That special came out in the early 1970s.

  85. Baka Gaijin
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    In the not-so-distant future we’ll discover Johnny Darling’s epic pompadour is prosthetic hair when Mr. Trail unceremoniously punches it off, mistaking it for a really out of place beard.

  86. bats :[
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Mincemeat (#76): re MW: Oh! I thought this wasn’t recreational at all, but rather a Wise Old One imparting knowledge to her eager young student. Silly me!

  87. Baka Gaijin
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    You know, I always thought Marvin was the comic strip that’s full of shit until I read today’s (and the past week or so) Mary Worth.

  88. Cloudbuster
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @walt d. (#78): it’s not that easy to steal, hide, and feed a cow

    I imagine that they’re like the PETA members and Animal Liberation Front activists that I imagine Brooke relates to: they don’t actually know anything about animals, so they “had to kill the cows to save them.”

  89. Baka Gaijin
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Am I the first to notice the Family Circus Approved© calendar with no specific dates to allow re-running the strip in the future with absolutely no changes required?

  90. Odie Odo
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    Dog Eat Doug/Red & Rover: My buddy queek forgot to tell me that it was DLIO*
    Day in the comics.

    Blondie: Since September is also National Chicken Month, shouldn’t they be playing songs like “Chicken Fried” or “Do the Funky Chicken”?

    *Dogs Licking Inappropriate Objects

  91. Myrtle
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    MT: I recall TRMT saying that his girlfriend was the inspiration for the hair and appearance of the senator’s daughter. Does this mean that Johnny is a … self portrait??

  92. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#86): Whahaha! We Warmly Welcome Your Well-crafted Work with Wonderful Worthian Wisdom!
    Flickr hates me, so according to them, it’ll be a while before I can share what I have for today.
    *sigh*

  93. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 14th, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#90): sorry’bout that. I don’t have DED bookmarked, just R&R.

  94. Alison
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#36): A FOOB/Rex Morgan crossover would make my day! A doctor’s family who never stops bragging about their wealth VS. a dentist’s family who keeps insisting they are poor = comedy gold. They would all come to blows by the end of the first week.

    “Mary Worth”: Why do Mary and Shannon keep talking about change? Aggie’s best friend dumped her for apparently no reason. That’s illogical and hurtful, and is not really a situation about somebody refusing to “accept change”. Yeah, you have to move on when someone hurts you, but I don’t think “accepting change” is the right way to put it. It’s more like trying to work out your bad feelings and understanding that it isn’t your fault. For someone who thinks she is an expert at giving advice, Mary is sure clueless about this.

  95. Mr. ED
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Love Is: Why do they bother to cover his lower body when he’s in a wheel chair since he normally walks around buck nekkid the rest of the time?

  96. bats :[
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    YOW!
    (I could’ve sworn I read a ZtP comment here…)

  97. Yusaku777
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    I love the fact that the artist of Mark Trail is going stir-crazy with this current storyline. “They’re just sitting. Talking. IN SUITS! NOT A TREE IN SIGHT! I’ve got a reputation to uphold!” And thus the mystery of the Watermill Painting In The Entry Hall is explained.

  98. Baka Gaijin
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#94) on Mary Worth: “Mary is sure clueless about this.” Advice giving, intervention holding, seafood making, what? You’ve got to be more specific, Alison. What is Mary clueless about?

  99. Sleepytime Shrug
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#23):

    Actually it’s the *bed* who (which?) is a member of the elite Airborne corps; Beatle is just along for the ride (and has now embarassed and disgraced the poor bed to the point where it may decide to drop out of the army; a setback for ambitious military beds everywhere.)

  100. walt d.
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    9CL: So we learn for the first time that the evil Smucklers do have other livestock, and their welfare has been of no concern to anyone, including the quack vet.

  101. Liam
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    MT-”Ever since that Jed Clampett fellow found oil we figured there must be more of it out there.”

    Hi and Lois-The image of Thirsty’s wife changing his underwear is nightmare fuel.

  102. sporknpork
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    If Sarah inherited June’s sharp mammal claw, she might just fit right in at that otter school.

  103. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Milton’s current assistant is “retiring.” He gave her a choice between a severance package and a severed arm.

    MT: You want oil? Just drain the head of your daughter’s uggo boyfriend every other week. Problem solved!*

    * Yes, that’s just Josh’s joke reversed, but I wrote it before I came to the site.

  104. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Bizarro: You know, if Piraro weren’t so adamant we see his beloved bunnies make their big screen debut, we might get a better view of the Medusa herself, rendering the caption unnecessary.

    MW: As New Age relaxation CDs go, this one leaves everything to be desired.

    FW: “Sorry. I spent a lot of time at home looking for a special pin for my sleeve.”

    9CL: If there’s anything I regret missing here, it’s Edda’s attempts to rally the townsfolk to Fleurrie’s defense. I’d love to know how much outright bribery was involved.

    Archie: Hey, leave her alone. She’s dealing with some stuff right now, like finding out that two mad scientists with beards cloned her from Betty Cooper.

    H&L: Thirsty luxuriates above the very spot where Irma plans to bury him.

    6C: The little known sequel, after the Beast returns to human form and discovers guyliner.

    DtM: Pssst, Dennis. Be a real menace and remind him there’s no way in Hell he’ll still be around when you turn 35.

    Marvin: Yeah, it’s kind of like a comic strip where you watch a baby smirk through every repulsive diaper change. Crazy!

    A3G: “Holy Margoing boxcar! I just realized my hair looks totally stupid.”

  105. Shrug, Envious of All That Thick Dark Hair
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#56):

    So, Johnny from MARK TRAIL also stars as Clyde in RED MEAT today? He must have a really good agent!

    ////Maybe Barney Google ought to consider switching?

  106. walt d.
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Somehow or other the Pibgorn link in my favorites migrated to the desktop. Instead of making a new link, I took this as a sign to stop reading. Usually people complain about the sex and violence, but as regards the current story, it’s simply too boring to continue devoting the few seconds to it. I’m sure the comments will alert me to anything of interest.

  107. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Joe (#82): I remember hearing way back that Garry Trudeau kept to a two-week lead time for Doonesbury. Tatulli may play it similarly close to the edge. Some of the Heart of the City strips have dealt with Star Wars news fairly soon after it broke.

  108. sporknpork
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#62): I thought for a moment we had another comic strip switcheroo like in 1997, and that Hagar got stuck with one of the Six Chix.

  109. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Bombay (#6): Rest assured, “DING DONG” only refers to what Johnny is, not what he’s giving Anne Marie.

  110. Shrug, Who Should Really Just Relax
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Jurgan (#75):

    All of the other Viking women are off on a voyage to the waters of the great sea serpent. This one stayed back because she didn’t want to be snarked at by Joel and the ‘bots, but after a few minutes of parrying clumsy come-ons by this “Hagar” oaf, she realizes she made the wrong choice. Maybe they’re still running the “Home Economics Story” short, and she get there before the feature starts.

  111. Alison
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#98):
    Well, while we’re on the subject, yes, Mary is clueless about all those things, and don’t forget “wardrobe”. Dig today’s yellow jacket, yellow scarf, and black top. Mary looks like a bumblebee, which is a slight improvement over her usual all-purple attire.

    Specifically, though, I just don’t understand this arc, and how “being unhappy because your best friend dumped you for no reason” is supposed to be equal to “refusing to accept change”.

  112. pugfuggly
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#37):

    El Condor never promised to release Rosa; he promised to execute her within the hour if The Tarantula and Spiderdick didn’t surrender. Villain that he is, he’s lying about lying.

    Either that or his english comprehension isn’t all that good. Which reminds me, why is everyone speaking english again?

    @bats :[ (#73):

    ah, yes…a worthy scion of the (Mr. Howard) Falselove and (Evelyn nee Tightknees) Smoothtalker clans. Didn’t they have a lovely private yacht up on Cape Haddock?

    Why yesssss. They’re very popular in the community….

  113. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    A3G & MW Aha! I think I’ve finally figured this out:
    The hair, that thick blue-black hair – where have we seen it before?
    She gave up her name and her past, but…

    … she couldn’t part with that white scrunchy-thingy.

  114. Baka Gaijin
    September 14th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#111): Oh, OK, I see your real question. The answer is, “You aren’t a dried-up old cock-teasing cake-toting meddling biddy so you wouldn’t understand, DEARIE.”

    //The “DEARIE” is from the dried-up old cock-teasing cake-toting meddling biddy.

  115. Winky's Spleen
    September 14th, 2013 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: As long as we’re being grammatically fussy, it’s ‘all right’, not ‘alright’.

  116. Alison
    September 14th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#114):
    Actually, I’d say that’s the dirty version* of Mary’s answer to everyone who questions her “knowledge”. She’s one of those people who thinks being elderly automatically means she has gained wisdom. (Wrong.)

    I wonder what her excuse would be if another old biddy questioned her???

    *The clean version would be some nonsense like, “Wisdom comes with age! I feel I’ve lived long enough to give advice which others can’t!”

  117. bbofun
    September 14th, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    9CL- So, what the police and prosecutors do in the face of obvious witness intimidation is just say “welp, too bad! Guess there’s nothing we can do!” Right. You, know, my head isn’t even slightly threatening to asplode now. I’m over it. Brooke not only has contempt for farmers, police. the law, the criminal justice system, the press, and most men- but for his readers, as well. Kinda sad, really.

  118. Flonatin of Bologna
    September 14th, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#89): That’s not for reruns, that’s to remind everyone that dates are irrelevant in the Keane Kompound.

  119. Winky's Spleen
    September 14th, 2013 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#116): Especially if it were an even older biddy.

  120. Joe Blevins
    September 14th, 2013 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    BLONDIE: The joke is that there is no “piped-in music.” It’s all in Dagwood’s head, and Blondie is humoring him.

    MT: Despite his devil-may-care use of a nickname, “Johnny” seems to be the product of the same factory where all the suitors in Apartment 3G are manufactured. Somewhere out there is an assembling line cranking out broad-shouldered, lantern-jawed, suit-and-tie-wearing, Brylcreem-abusing bachelors from 1962. They’re the kind of guy you’d get if you won a round of Mystery Date from Milton Bradley.

    HAGAR: Wow, I hadn’t noticed that particular pattern, but those Hagar-gets-rejected strips are virtually identical. It’s worth it, though, for the three panels of Hagar sitting in mournful silence.

  121. Cloudbuster
    September 14th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#25): the miracle of conjuring up a waterfall in the middle of the Sonoran desert

    That’s not a waterfall. That’s a waste water discharge for the Pax Wellness Pharmaceutical Factory. I hear “outdoor people” are getting quite concerned about it.

  122. Illustrator Steve
    September 14th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    MT – I understand the popular trend of comic strip caracters doing crossovers, but I’d be willing to bet the only reason Lil Abner Yokum is wearing a new suit and has dumped Daisy May for the senator’s daughter is for some high paying job in oil exploration.

  123. Droopy Says
    September 14th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#112): Which reminds me, why is everyone speaking English again?

    1: This could be for Spiderman’s convenience, in which case you have to imagine they’re all speaking loudly and slowly.

    2: Maybe they have to speak English because they all flunked Spanish. I’m sure this theory makes sense to the junior assistant trainee who’s handling the strip.

    3: They’re all speaking Spanish, translated for our benefit. Spiderman still doesn’t know what they’re saying, which explains why he looks and acts so confused . . . oh, wait . . .

    The strip has already forgot that when The Tarantula summoned Spiderdick, Rosa was scheduled to be shot at dawn. El Condor then moved up the execution to one hour from his broadcast, putting the execution well before dawn (and making the broadcast at, what, midnight?) Now everyone has forgot that The Condor never said anything about releasing Rosa. I can’t wait to see what they forget next

  124. walt d.
    September 14th, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Well regarded, yes. But still not nearly good enough for the next Picasso/Einstein.

  125. Alison
    September 14th, 2013 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Winky’s Spleen (#119):
    Too bad Elinor Kinley never challenged Mary! Mary’s old, sure, but Elinor was ancient. It would have been fun to see Elinor shout at Mary, “Shut up, you little whippersnapper!”

  126. walt d.
    September 14th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Dilbert: Don’t try this at home, kids.

    Crankshaft: I guess we’ll have to wait until Monday to see if this was a lead-in to revisiting the 1920s (?), or a one week editorial upon the cluelessness of the old or the young (depending upon your own age).

  127. Baka Gaijin
    September 14th, 2013 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#116): Mary banished Ella Byrd from Charterstone.

    Other great moments in Ella Byrd:

    Mary fumes as someone praises Ella’s sage advice.
    Histrionics from The Great Gildersleeve.
    “Biddy to biddy, Aldo wasn’t your fault.”

  128. Alison
    September 14th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#127):
    That panel showing Mary’s angry face when she hears Ella gives good advice is amazing. Mary looks like she’s about to punch the other chick in the teeth.

    The strip where Ella gets yelled at for giving advice makes me sad, because I know we’ll never see that happen to Mary, and Mary deserves it so much more than Ella.

  129. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    September 14th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#13): Josh migrated the page or something fairly early on in the CC’s run, and a lot of the comments didn’t transfer over. That’s often the explanation for why some of the earlier posts have no comments. While the response back then certainly wasn’t as plentiful as it is now, you could usually count on about a dozen comments for each entry.

    I do remember the minor controversy that occurred here when some posters started commenting on the strips of the day, instead of simply the strips Josh wrote about. It happened after that first RMMD post, and I believe that’s when comments first started increasing in number beyond the 10-20 mark or so.

    I’m just disappointed that the RMMD colorists have gotten lazy and replaced the more realistic light blonde color on Heather with bright yellow.

  130. I speak Jive
    September 14th, 2013 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#104): Re: 9CL – All of the men from the town would automatically turn into helpless puddles of willing Burber slaves at the very sight of Edda. Don’t know if bribery would be necessary for the townswomen.

  131. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#127):

    Baka Gaijin. Mary Worth archivist.

  132. Lily Sincere
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#42):
    Oh, nice! Were you in Canada or was this one of the Minnesota Canadian wannabe Canada?

  133. Lily Sincere
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#68):

    “Hmm…that seems a little to on the nose, wouldn’t you say, Gordie?”

    “That’s what SHE said!”

  134. Lily Sincere
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#70):

    Nah, Gretzky. “The Great One” seemed a little nicer than “That guy we liked until those Oilers motherfuckers traded him to the fucking Kings, for Christ’s sake. Fuck Los Angeles!” Also, shorter.

  135. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#127): Ah… hahahaha!
    I’m saving all those for… just because!
    “And I won’t stop there!”
    Why can’t MW be more like that?

  136. Amos Snarkadder
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#120):

    … Brylcreem-abusing bachelors…

    Brylcreem is a lube? Huh. Who knew?

  137. Amos Snarkadder
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#128): But we can dream. Dream of a world where Ella Byrd is writing a competing advice column, “Ask Breezie.”

  138. Calico
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#5):
    Isn’t that being a bit repetitious? ; )

    FC – Actually, Dolly, yes. You can join the Disney minions who have to wear humiliating costumes in 90-degree heat, and have your picture taken with thousands of squalling, hypoglycemic, pants-shitting, ungrateful brats!

    (No, I don’t have kids. How did you figure that out so quickly?)

  139. Calico
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#128):
    Was that the one when Clark Gable threw money at her?

    3G – Wow, maybe Tori is really a good kid – her meddling / help style is like The Ronettes mashed up with Mary Worth and Candy Finnegan.

  140. Calico
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#121):
    Could be the septic system as well. Good times.

    @Alison (#111):
    Did you know that Gordon Sumner, aka Sting, got his nomer because he used to wear a black sweater onstage with yellow tape on it, in stripes? (Pre Police era)

  141. Peanut Gallery
    September 14th, 2013 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Dream Body Herbal Slimming Capsules (#Y51):

    “I partly blame those people drugs for my %anchor% acquire.”

    Oh, sure. And yet, here you are trying to sell us your own brand of “people drugs”.

    @xqxmfrjxb (#Y54), @oexncxfyls (#Y55): See, everyone? Alien drugs are the way to go!

  142. Calico
    September 14th, 2013 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#72):
    Years ago I heard a Muzak version of Tull’s “Living in the Past” and almost puked.
    @Hibbleton (#7):
    Touché. Ugh.
    @Rusty (#11):
    Dangerfield.
    @pugfuggly (#25):
    I did not see your comment until now. Seriously. Great minds and tips.

  143. bats :[
    September 14th, 2013 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#92): (Heck. I’m using the “old way” in…posts just as fast that way!)

  144. bats :[
    September 14th, 2013 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of which, doesn’t work now.

  145. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 14th, 2013 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @Winky’s Spleen (#115): Blondie: As long as we’re being grammatically fussy, it’s ‘all right’, not ‘alright’.

    Eh… no. “Alright” is all right. Chaucer used it. James Joyce used it. Compare altogether, already, and although. It is an accepted variant.

  146. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 14th, 2013 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    re Peanut Gallery (#141):

    May as well repost my reply to them/it from yesterday, since it was at the end of the thread and almost no one would have read it…

    @Dream Body Herbal Slimming Capsules (#y51):

    “I partly blame those people drugs for my %anchor% acquire.”

    It’s a poor WorkDreamBodyHerbalSlimmingCapsulesMan who blames his/her/its %anchor%acquiretools.

    ///You probably just put catsup on inappropriate things.

  147. Mr. O’Malley
    September 14th, 2013 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#92): @bats :[ (#143): I use the old Flickr uploader, which up until now has worked okay unless you try to upload a lot of pictures at the same time. But recently I’ve noticed that a lot of things don’t work properly, like editing titles or captions. However the “Edit titles, tags and dates” item on the three dots menu works. And adding to a group doesn’t work at all in Firefox, but it does work in Chrome.

  148. Poteet
    September 14th, 2013 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    RMMD — Happy Otter Schools are for ordinary children. Widdle Sawah will be attending the Ecstatic Black-Footed Ferret School.

  149. Poteet
    September 14th, 2013 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

  150. Liam
    September 14th, 2013 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    MT-I do believe that Johnny is planning on coming inside.

  151. Liam
    September 14th, 2013 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    The Happy Otter Trail named so because of the owner’s fond memory of playing with a pair of cute otters that he had rescued years before when he was a child.

  152. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 14th, 2013 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#145): More on “alright” here.

    Similar ‘merged’ words such as altogether and already have been accepted in standard English for a very long time, so there is no logical reason to object to the one-word form alright. Nevertheless, many people dislike it and regard it as incorrect, so it’s best to avoid using alright in formal writing.

    In other words, there’s nothing wrong with the word itself but people might be dicks if you use it. From my perspective if you insist on “all right” you shouldn’t accept “already” instead of “all ready.”

  153. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 14th, 2013 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#152): You are all together right.

  154. Majicou
    September 14th, 2013 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    The podcast “How to Do Everything” recently noted that a mall somewhere in New York (I think) had started piping in Christmas music in late August. They brought in a statistician to estimate when the ever-earlier beginning of the Christmas season will cause it to start before the previous year’s Christmas (answer: 2099.)

    @yaoi huntress earth (#50): I WON’T LOOK YOU CAN’T MAKE ME
    But I didn’t think there was a further level of Suedom Brooke could reach.

    Black hole Sue, won’t you come
    And nullify the plot
    Black hole Sue, won’t you come
    Won’t you come

  155. Peanut Gallery
    September 14th, 2013 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#145):

    O yea, yea!
    And it goes like this
    Take me by the tongue
    I will knowe you
    Kiss till thou art drunk

    I will showe you
    How to spelle like Chaucer
    I must needes spelle like Chaucer
    I must needes spe-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-elle like Chaucer, woo!

  156. Mr O'Malley
    September 14th, 2013 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#154): I went past the old vacant lot today and they were setting up the pumpkin stand. No pumpkins yet though.

  157. Oregonian
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Okay, let me see if I’ve got this straight: Hagar is actually the guy who was sitting at the gumbo counter in Herb and Jamaal, the man who just walked through the door in Mark Trail is actually Jessica’s father from Funky Winkerbean, and Blondie and Dagwood are now shopping on the cruise ship from Judge Parker. If Mary Worth walks into the kitchen and joins the conversation with Heather and June in Rex Morgan we will have achieved perfect comic cross-fertilization.

  158. Majicou
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#153): That’s an entirely different kind of grammar altogether!

  159. Baka Gaijin
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#128): Yes on both accounts. Someone who’s good with comics mashups could probably make your latter wish come true.

    @Sequitur (#131): Better than Baka Gaijin, EVILSCARYCLOWN archivist. EEEEE!!!

    @Amos Snarkadder (#137): Oooh, good point.

    @Calico (#138): So what you’re saying is, “Karma’s a bitch.”

    @Calico (#140) on Sting: Really? Stranger things have happened, though I can’t think of one right now.

    @Liam (#151): COTW contender.

  160. Doctor Bombay
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    MT: Panel 2 is Elrod’s attempt at recreating an iconic image Lost Forest-style except Mark is sitting tall in a 1950s upholstered chair and facing the wrong way. Under these conditions, I don’t see how the world’s loudest doorbell or even Maxell speakers would be able to blow back Mark’s tie or knock over a couple of tumblers with ice.

  161. Amos Snarkadder
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#143): @Mr. O’Malley (#147): Thanks! I tried the “olde way” a few times and it finally worked (@Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#113)).
    I didn’t actually know there was an old way – I’ve just been blindly following Flickr’s instructions to upload.

  162. Sgt.Stoned
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    MT: Meanwhile, Mark is thinking: “What are those two doing? Why is he holding her like that? I wonder if anybody ever held Cherry like that.”

    MW: BTW, what has happened to Aggie? She could be hanging in her room for all Mary, Shannon or anybody else at that wonderful spa cares.

  163. Sgt.Stoned
    September 14th, 2013 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    Oops, almost forgot:

    Archie: There is apparently one female in Riverdale who finds our hero unappealing. Unbelievable!

  164. agony
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    Luann:

    Dear comics artists: please stop drawing people drinking tea with the teabag still in the cup. No human being does this. Thank you

  165. Baka Gaijin
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @agony (#164): The characters in Luann are supposed to be people? News flash to me.

  166. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    On the East coast it’s too late but for the rest of the country you still have time to observe DRIVE YOUR STUDEBAKER DAY!

    Sorry, Baka. Wherever you are it’s way too late.

  167. Baka Gaijin
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#166): Yeah, I know. I left my Hawk in America.

  168. Poteet
    September 14th, 2013 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    MW — Yes, change is groovy. That’s why Shannon was terrified at the possibility of having to leave her job.

  169. Uncle Lumpy
    September 15th, 2013 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#167):

    Where? I will gladly steal it for/from you!

  170. tallyHO
    September 15th, 2013 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    THE one thing which would make Saturday’s “Heathcliff” hilarious would be if that group of people walking on the sidewalk would suddenly (in a hypothetical panel two) each slip and fall because each one of them has bananas for feet.

    Really, banana feet almost scream for slipping and falling.

  171. Poteet
    September 15th, 2013 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    A3G: “My doctors want to try something new. Specifically, they want to try massive doses of anti-depressants, and whoa, I do believe they’re kicking in. I can’t stop smiling! Help!”

  172. Poteet
    September 15th, 2013 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    S-M: Once a week I check for the idiotic ribbons and there they are. It’s a hard choice, but shoot The Tarantula first. Please.

  173. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2013 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#169):

    I would gladly steal it from you for a hamburger on Tuesday.

    Or something like that.

  174. Poteet
    September 15th, 2013 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    PV — OMG OMG Haroldr is so CUTE! Who can resist a big burly redhead with huge arm muscles and a long braid and a winged helmet? Not me!

  175. Chip Whittle
    September 15th, 2013 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    @agony (#164):

    Dear comics artists: please stop drawing people drinking tea with the teabag still in the cup. No human being does this. Thank you

    I do that. What are you trying to say about me?

    Meanwhile, I see in Apartment 3-G that Cole carries on his conversations with Lu Ann while not looking anywhere remotely near Lu Ann, possibly because he’s talked with Lu Ann before.

  176. tallyHO
    September 15th, 2013 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Gratuitous Sexypades From the Heretofore Classified Backstories of “Mary Worth”:

    Mary:
    Change is the only constant in Life.

    Shannon:

    Like you, Mary? [Mary has a quizzical look on her face as she looks at Shannon starting to push her]
    Like you, Mary? You look like you need a change of clothes, Mary!

    [Mary--half crazy, half pretending to be sane--waves her arms in the air as if she can fly. Not surprisingly, she falls straight down into the pool of water beneath the waterfall that has materialized on the desert spa resort land.]

    Mary:
    Shannon! Whatever for did thou pushest me nonce? [spit spit sputter splash]

    Shannon:
    Because you think you know oh-so much, don’t you, Mar-ry?
    At the spa, we have rules about swimming in pants suits. Looks like you are gonna
    need to cut your vacation short…or prepare for a long night!

    Mary, still trying to stay afloat:
    Shannon, are you trying to cunningly convince me to disrobe to “stay with the spa’s rules” or are we really playing by your rules now?

    Shannon:
    Oh, you’ll find out, Mary. Now come with me back to my bungalow! I will introduce you to my big dog. Don’t worry, he won’t bite; he’s stuffed. Or, should I say, he specializes in stuffing otters and beavers? *

    Mary:

    My beaver gets the feeling that this otter be very interesting!

    Meanwhile, the Administrator who is hiding in the cacti bushes, feels that he has the goods on both of those “instigators”. He starts taking photos with his camera with every intention of uploading them and the ones from the secret hole at the bungalow up and onto Instagatorgram for the world to see just how difficult it is being an Administrator at a Peacful Spa Resort in Arizona, in the Summer.

    //got bored with this after typing the first line. But,

  177. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2013 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#176):

    //got bored with this after typing the first line. But,

    Yeah, I can tell ya, insanity is like that and still is fun.

    //But I’m feeling much better now.

  178. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    September 15th, 2013 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#172): Alas, I doubt that would solve the problem. They’d just keep on waving jauntily from his corpse.

  179. Droopy Says
    September 15th, 2013 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    Spider and Spiderer: I’m trying to remember the last time any dictator said he wasn’t a man of honor, or that his enemies had a good reason to revolt. Maybe El Condor is joking and The Tarantula is really a murderous bandit who deserves a good pre-death taunting. The evidence for that is pretty good.

    Family Circus: Please let Barfy become confused and excited by that mention of roast beef. It could be an easy way to lose a melonhead or two.

    Funky’s Flunkies: Academic violations at Westview Low? I’m impressed. None of the students seem to care enough about their education to violate any standards.

    Jugheaded Parker: What’s so hard to believe? The internet ain’t big enough for that list!

    Mark Trail: Magic mushrooms and wacky weed. Much is now explained.

    Phantom: Nice “escape.” Why didn’t you have Mandrake hypnotically-gesture the Snarled-up Angels into thinking they were escaping with you as their prisoners, along with all the gold the boat could hold? That way you wouldn’t have to worry about them tipping off their cohorts when you reach land.

    Pluggers are the village idiots of child-raising.

  180. tallyHO
    September 15th, 2013 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#177):
    Ha.
    A “Night Court” reference!
    It is amazing how rare those are in everyday life. It also kind of impressive that I get it.
    ——-
    No, on the “romp” down damp, Camel Toe Lane… I couldn’t even force the funny or the sexiness. Forcing the Funny isn’t always a solution.

    So, I went for quips. The last one is cheap but it is wildlife themed, no? I don’t think Sunday’s strips are gonna be all that interesting to me. Even Heathcliff went from visually interesting to a lame line from the interpreter of why he went to great lengths to jump.

    Blahblah.

    Though, before I go and after I tried to prove to myself that Sunday’s comics are espcially lame…

    Hi and Lois. I find it hard to see Hi being referenced at church and his family scorning him for caring more about fantasy football than church. If the guy was born Jewish there’s stuff to celebrate, too. Yom Kippur. The Sabbath. Keeping things both Holy and Real. He doesn’t have to pass as a WASP. The fact that he’s the only one in the family with non-blonde hair should be a dead giveaway that sumptin’s up with this family, hell, with that whole town, too!

  181. Droopy Says
    September 15th, 2013 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#172): No, shoot Spiderman first. Then The Tarantula will have to lower his ribbons to half-assed.

  182. tallyHO
    September 15th, 2013 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    ugh.

    Mr. The Real MARK Trail:
    you should really lobby the syndicate or whomever runs the digital online outfit. For the Sunday’s sites/feeds like Comics Kingdom (in particular) chop off the first two panels. I know that is disposable for some strips but when they aren’t optional, what does it hurt to have the full comic online instead of an edited copy online?

    I’d march but I’m tired and am bound to kind of go in fits and starts until the next time I’m reminded that this egregious treatment of content which costs almost nothing to deliver to that content distributor section, the CK.
    I can see regular papers not always having room But, the MT Sunday’s format should be maximized for effect.

  183. tallyHO
    September 15th, 2013 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#181):

    Man. You guys just wait! Good Ol’ The Tarantula will use those versatile ribbons to walk around at great precision. Soon.

    My crystal ball says that Tarantula will accidentally get knocked out by one of Spidey’s Spider-balls (the weapons made of his webbing, not the chocolate and bourbon confection. (The Guy LOOOOVES baking with booze!))

    So, those ribbons will drag Tarantula off of the battle field by marching off the field or it will drag his limp body to the closest sofa.

  184. Droopy Says
    September 15th, 2013 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    ( Dickweed Lane: Brooksie, thank you for stealing that Seinfeld trope. It just gives me one more reason to loathe you. No, it’s not your lack of imagination. Its the in-your-face attitude about your boring, pretentious characters versus people who work for a living. You’re Ayn Rand with crayons.

  185. Droopy Says
    September 15th, 2013 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#183): I’m waiting for a couple of the soldiers to grab those ribbons and use The Tarantula like a May pole.

  186. tallyHO
    September 15th, 2013 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#185):

    Oh! The ignominy!

    (or however that is said in Spanish)

  187. Droopy Says
    September 15th, 2013 at 3:29 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#186): It’s said with brackets. (Wow. If it were any easier to learn Spanish, even Spiderman would be able to speak the language.)

  188. Liam
    September 15th, 2013 at 6:23 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#182):

    All I can pretty much say on that is ditto. Without the first two panels today’s comic is incomprehensible. Those are the introduction panels that let’s you know what is being talked about today.

  189. Liam
    September 15th, 2013 at 6:42 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”Interfering? Hey all I tried to do was pass through customs without a passport. Your airport security is much tighter than it is back home.”

    Crankshaft-”Wow. So you couldn’t get any other woman to marry you so you had to marry your daughter.”

    MW-There would be hope for Aggie if you stopped talking about her and try to help her.

    Pluggers-Looks like the dog genes are the dominant ones in that family.

    Pluggers 2-And they say that mixed marriages don’t last.

    RMMD-”I’ll try and bring you back an Alfredo but if I can’t how do you feel about a Guido.”

    RMMD 2-”I love her like my own and if I was to ever go crazy I would kidnap her and claim her as my own.”

    RMMD 3-Fettuccine Alfredo! It’s funny because June is pregnant and food obsessive and has no idea that you can get that over here.

    Sally Forth-I have to chuckle at the idea of Ted having flashbacks because with him you have no idea what is going to happen.

  190. Morgan Wick
    September 15th, 2013 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    Apparently the Blondie writers think “festive” can refer to something other than Christmas music. That, or the AJGLU-3000 is moonlighting on another strip and is in “reverse-engineer from the punch line” mode.

  191. Morgan Wick
    September 15th, 2013 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    Also: This is going to end with Sarah marrying into the Parker-Spencer-Driver clan, isn’t it?

  192. Morgan Wick
    September 15th, 2013 at 7:10 am [Reply]

    Also also: Wait, is the Senator’s daughter’s boyfriend the father of Jessica from Funky Winkerbean?

  193. Morgan Wick
    September 15th, 2013 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    @Naked Bunny with a Whip (#71): “When she graduates in a year, she will become a Senator after finding a loophole in the Constitution’s age requirements.”

    Hey, it worked for Barbara Gordon!

  194. Paul1963
    September 15th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#62):

    THANK YOU! I was beginning to think I was the only one who noticed that. This is what happens when the artist of a legacy strip has to design a new character.

  195. Paul1963
    September 15th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Morgan Wick (#193):

    They made it pretty clear that Barbara Gordon was at least 25 when she ran for Congress in the early ’70s. In fact, her being an older woman was discussed a few years later when they started teaming her up with Robin, who at the time was a college student, and immediately it was all “Hey, Batgirl and Robin should be a couple!”

    Somewhere along the line, though, her whole Congressional phase got retconned away, and she seemed to be about the same age as Dick Grayson (who was now Nightwing, seemed to have never gone to college, and had been established as a guy who got laid more than anyone else in the DC Universe).

    In the New 52, they’re either the same age or Barb is slightly younger than Dick, who apparently aged from ten or eleven to early twenties in about four years, because of the Five-Year Timeline that falls apart if you jostle the table while looking at it.

  196. Justin T.
    September 16th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    @Rusty (#11):
    She is clearly a modern woman, which totally messes with my idea of Hagar. Is he part of an isolated group of Norse nomads who refuse to accept technological and social improvements of the last millennium? I think so. I think so.

  197. Eric
    September 16th, 2013 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Based on his facial expression, I think Johnny’s interested in “drilling in Lost Forest”, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

  198. Chad Sexington
    September 17th, 2013 at 2:57 am [Reply]

    By all visual indications, it appears that a woman from the mid twentieth century has seamlessly arrived in Hagar’s pre-Christian era medieval Norse mead hall. I cannot tell if this glaring anachronism is the result of a cerebral and esoteric reference whose meaning has been obfuscated by poor execution combined with the natural limitations of the medium, or if it is simply the result of utterly shameless and unrepentant creative laziness.

  199. Anonymous
    September 18th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    RMMD
    “I only care about my Sarah, so she’ll attend an elite school while I pay lip service to Milton students.”

  200. itz7goty0g3
    September 24th, 2013 at 6:04 am [Reply]

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