Friday miscellany
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Gil Thorp, 4/17/09
One of the many charms of Gil Thorp is its punctilious attention to the names of players, teams, and incidental characters whom we may never see again and will certainly never care about! Rich, here, for example, or WHCC, the fictitious one-step-above-public-access Milford TV station (and not the actual Bloomington, IN country FM radio station). But “Spartans” seems a little off for the St. Mark’s team — shouldn’t it be the “Lions” or the “Friars” or something? Hey, the “Notaries” would be a great name for a ball team!
Shoe, 4/17/09
Shoe ups the ante on “that is not how birds work” humor.
Beetle Bailey, 4/17/09
When does anvil season start? Soon, right? Please?
Mary Worth, 4/17/09
“That’s not love — that’s not even coherent.” But hey, do you suppose Doc Jeff ran a background check on his beloved Mary? And if so, what dark mysteries did he uncover?
Judge Parker, 4/17/09
I basically got nuthin’ here — a little more exposition on the The Fabulous Ledge-Danube/Rasmussen-Akermans to run out the clock on a slow week, tempered as always by Eduardo Barreto’s handsome draftsmanship. But thanks in no small part to determined rabble-rousing by faithful reader Dave and others, and a rousing response by us cookie-clearin’ survey-stuffin’ rabble, Judge Parker has been reinstated by The Washington Post. Way to go!
— Uncle Lumpy
Jackuul
April 17th, 2009 at 1:51 am
About that Background Check on Mary… he had no need to. She showed him the bodies first, all of them neatly arranged by age, sex, last name, and place of birth, in a private field she owns by a dark shed. Each one has a fact sheet, and after examination he approved, and consented to a further relationship – as he completes her need for the ability to abuse the system.
commodorejohn
April 17th, 2009 at 1:55 am
Someone should bait one of the biology nuts from one of the various furry mailing lists into doing a dissertation on Shoe. And then mail it to Brookins.
Also, I doubt Jeff ran a background check on Mary, or he’d be curled on the floor, gibbering like a Lovecraft character.
True Fable
April 17th, 2009 at 2:02 am
To the Snarkmobile!
Girls Gone 3G Kelly SMASH!
Between Foobs Well, of Course she’s going to let her ex-husband stay with her for awhile. She’s got that Martyr Complex just like Elly Patterson, too stupid to realize she doesn’t have to do him any favors whatsoever. Hello? He’s your Ex-Husband; tell him good luck and good BYE. Mine would, but then I’d never ask in the first place.
C’haft Dude’s either got half of his moustache gone, or his nose is running.
Surgically Implanted Hat Boy So why doesn’t Curtis just go ahead and take the part? He’d make some money, have some fun doing something new, plus he’d pwn Michelle big time. I just don’t get it, this doesn’t ring true.
DtSM That’s right. The four food groups are Jello Shots, Coca-Cola, Chocolate and Strawberry Yogurt. Everybody knows that.
Children of the Circle Dolly has ambition and strong delusion.
Canadian Zombie Yes, Elly; make the boys wait so they can laugh at your friend instead of your neurotic behavior in a kitchen.
Scenes from Suburban Hell I know it’s supposed to be a nose ring on Dude #1, but it looks more like a wart or worse.
Sam Driver, Inexplicable Chick Magnet Sam is aiming to collect his next Chick.
Sweet Shallow Stupid and Clueless Okay, how long is Brad Cockblocks Himself going to last?
Fist O Justice Theater When are they going to cut and paste pictures of Cherry biting the dust so Mark can go all angsty and rage-filled, and then later Rusty will turn to cooking meth in the shed behind the Honeycomb Hideout? Because that’s the story I want to see.
Meddling Heights That’s not love! That’s sheer stupidity!
I, Platypus Watching this relationship wheeze to a breakup is painful.
Kit Walker, Law Dodge Ranger She’s right, O Ghost-Who-Is-Looking-At-Ten-To-Twenty.
Rex Morgan, Man Whore Mommy’s removed her glasses, Sarah. Mommy’s fixing to kick some ass now.
Ziggy It’s the Official Apocalypse: I laughed at Ziggy.
Joey Chicago
April 17th, 2009 at 2:12 am
“Shoe ups the ante on “that is not how birds work” humor.”
Best joke on CC in a long damn time.
cj
April 17th, 2009 at 2:12 am
Thorp: Molly Kinsella is HOT
BB: “Hey! Don’t you jerks know football season is over?!”
*blam*
A shotgun slug to Sarge’s skull would be most welcome – I mean, it could be hunting season in the bizarro reality that is Camp Swampy. Of course BB could not continue without Beetle’s nemesis, but then that’s a win for all of us.
True Fable
April 17th, 2009 at 2:14 am
Apropos of Nothing: Ziggy’s head looks exactly like the little tension ball the counselor gave me to squeeze really tight whenever I need to release some emotion before I launch a chair at my annoying co-worker’s head. Did you know it’s possible to make those little tension balls disintegrate right in your hand? Good times.
I still can’t believe I snarked Ziggy and did not give him an alternate strip name, like Pantloose or Fail At Life. Next time I guess.
Black Drazon
April 17th, 2009 at 2:17 am
Jeff probably did run a background check on Mary. I mean, he’s still here after all this, so I can only assume what he found in her file just turned him on. Shake that out of your heads, eh?
NoahSnark
April 17th, 2009 at 2:21 am
Like Sarge, the primary concern I have when I am hit in the back of the head is that the implement used is appropriate for the season. This personal credo was put to a severe test when I attended a shotput competition.
Anonymous
April 17th, 2009 at 2:29 am
I’ll play a game of anvil with you, Uncle Lumpy.
Dave
April 17th, 2009 at 2:37 am
Thank you to those that sent in an email to comics@waspost.com to help get Judge Parker back in the Washington Post print edition comics!!!
It was truly appreciated.
The Post is bringing back da Judge on Monday evidently.
Great news!!!! Thank you!!!
Mr. Barreto and Mr. Wilson, keep bringing’ the goods!!!
Sheila Sternwell
April 17th, 2009 at 2:38 am
Yay! I’m so glad the Post reinstated Juggs Parker, even though I’m nowhere near any Washington in the Union.
Hobbes Fan
April 17th, 2009 at 3:11 am
A3G – “Tommie, I’ll make this easy for you. Have you ever seen What’s Love Got to Do with It?”
Charlene
April 17th, 2009 at 3:24 am
Does any man in Judge Parker ever open his mouth when he speaks?
Charlene
April 17th, 2009 at 3:25 am
I’m not even in the Union and this news cheers me immensely.
The Quotable Margo
April 17th, 2009 at 3:30 am
Adrian must really be rushing to get to Ted. In panel one, her flat lifeless hair actually moved!
Mibbitmaker
April 17th, 2009 at 3:32 am
BBailey: Sarge Snorkle IS Gil Thorp!
GT: The girls in the last panel are really high-5ing over the fact that the Gil Gets Bonked video won’t be removed from online.
MW: Why doesn’t Dr. Jeff just go all Paul Teutul, Sr., and fire his dopey daughter?
9CL: Aw. that was sweet. They’re Burber women, though, so don’t expect it to last.
A3G: If Margo shows up and konks Joe with a blunt object, the studio audience will erupt with wild applause. Although, this being a soap strip and not a live audience sitcom strip, I’m not sure how that’d happen.
“Dick Tracy: Horror Movie”: Uh-oh… The living moneybags are slowly ganging up on her… Gertie is in grave danger now! Will nobody stop them?? WILL NOBODY STOP THE MONEYBAG MONSTERS?!? MwAH-hahahahahahahahahaAAAAAAAA!
HotC: Poor Heart has the most smug, self-righteous mom in comics. Even Calvin’s dad is annoyed.
OBH: Ren IS Stimpy!
Ghost-With-Ed-Meese-Ethics: And let’s not get into the definition of “is”! (for one thing, that’d make my Meese reference a Clinton reference!)
Pluggers: Tacky Day???
RMMD: “Me? You’re the one who won’t stop with the ’suspicious look’ all week, June-Mommy! Just stop, okay? Please? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE STOP!!!”
6C: I can do one better:
I edited it down
from a novel
to a novellette
to an article
to a particle
to a reader tip
to a comic strip.
S-M: “I peeked ahead in the script, that’s how!”
Ziggy: This would be much better if the head of the “generic pharmacy” guy was Ziggy’s!
This week’s Zits: The “generic pharmacy” of comic strips.
C. Havoc
April 17th, 2009 at 3:37 am
Tired….so tired.
Catman
April 17th, 2009 at 3:39 am
Big thanks to those who reached out to the Washington Post about Judge Parker.
Most newspaper editor’s make their decisions (cuts) and don’t think twice. Unless enough people complain.
Because the Post never did a survey or poll, and supposedly did a “clandestine” over the phone survey (how the heck do you research comics over the phone???!!!), the fact they are reinstating Judge Parker to their print edition is a BIG deal.
We read Judge Parker. For all kinds of reasons.
Evidently others who read the WaPo also read Judge Parker, but they weren’t in their research study.
I do wonder what comic they drop to bring back the Judge? Or do they add to the current “size reduced” lineup in the Post?
Monday, the tell all.
Alfred E. Neuman
April 17th, 2009 at 4:55 am
Archie— Jughead demonstrates the first musical remote control device, or the first remote control/cell phone combination, or an inability to tell a remote control device from a cell phone, take your pick. Archie is so amazed, his head does a Linda Blair.
Crankshaft— Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This already interminable story better end with a hideous Crankshaftian pun, or I’m going to be pissed.
DTM— They’re not? Dang!
Luann— Brad, Brad, Brad. You’re still not paying attention. While you’ve finally developed some initiative, you don’t ask a girlfriend to move in with you until you’ve developed a sexual relationship. What if she moves in and doesn’t want to have sex with you? Then you have the worst of both worlds, a roommate to nag you and no sex. Her presence will further cramp whatever minuscule opportunities you might have to find a woman who will have sex with you. So, take advantage of Toni’s temporary crepe-fired passion for you and go have sex with her right now. Even if T.J. rats to your parents and they destroy your plan, you at least will have had sex ONCE.
Jeez, I’m tired of this. Where is my delectably twisted Bernice?
Sue D. Nymme
April 17th, 2009 at 5:50 am
MW, panel 2: We now return to “Ugly Person Theater”, already in progress….
Sue D. Nymme
April 17th, 2009 at 5:57 am
A3G: We now return to “Domestic Abuse Theater”, already in progress…
Marvin: Rigor mortis sets in early.
Sally Forth: Hmmm, setting up for a SF/Marvin crossover?
Talking Squirrel
April 17th, 2009 at 6:08 am
MW: In panel 3, Jeff and Adrian fervently implore the heavenly intervention of Saint Eugene de Mazenod, the patron saint of marriages where the bride has all the money.
Shoe: Makes the pointed graphic statement today that “Shoe” is almost as useful as tits on a goose.
Fireflies
April 17th, 2009 at 6:20 am
Sorry, this is a day late, but the Shoe reminds me of yesterday’s: why on earth would the bird be happy about an oil spill?
Anyway, I do like the expression on Sarge’s face when he gets hit in the back of the head.
Pozzo
April 17th, 2009 at 6:47 am
You know the game someone came up with for the comic strip “Nancy” – where you shuffle a bunch of random panels, pick three and make a new strip out of it? I think you could the same with “Judge Parker.” In fact, I think they’ve been doing it for years and no one’s noticed.
John C Fremont
April 17th, 2009 at 6:55 am
A3G – I know that Margo could come home any second now and punch Joe in the face harder than Mark Trail hitting a moustache, but my money is on Cousin Ruby. We never actually saw her leave, and something tells me she’s the kind of gal who knows how to use a rolling pin. And by “kind of gal,” I mean, “cartoony.”
PBS – “Whenever I want to cry and bawl,
Because I’m feeling sad,
I think of ironing boards and drywall,
And then I don’t feel so bad…”
(”Have you ever touched a Post-It note?”)
gleeb
April 17th, 2009 at 6:58 am
9CL: The family tenderness that can only come from lies and evasions.
A3G: Yeah, Joe, she’s completely “in on” you barging into 3G and dumping your mewling brats on her. Sock him one, Tommie!
Baldo: It takes guts to throw away the only content the comic has had for the past few months. It wasn’t good content, but what else did they have apart from the odd throwaway gag about Baldo being stupider and lazier than Gracie? Maybe this will mean more Tia Carmen and kumquats. That was pretty cool.
’shaft: The Habana Reds? The Cuban Sugar Kings? He’s getting his memories of baseball and the revolution mixed up again.
Dennis: It heck with the Old World food pyramid! We’re using the New World food-Anasazi-petroglyph!
Curtis: Did we ever figure out where Curtis is set? Because I’d like to imagine the cops in Jump Start doing the tazering. It would give then some character.
Edge City: Oh, come on! This is whitewashing. She gave them the choice, yes, but then she nattered on about bread products until she broke their spirit. In other words, she’s a Mom.
Zippy: Oh, Zippy, the yuk stopped a long, long time ago.
gleeb
April 17th, 2009 at 7:03 am
Mr Speaker, if I could revise and extend my remarks,
Dennis: To heck with the Old World food pyramid! We’re using the New World food-Anasazi-petroglyph!
Mary Worth Discussion Group
April 17th, 2009 at 7:18 am
MW: One of the following should happen next:
Adrian sponstaneously combusts and grabs her dad and they both perish
Adrian reveals she is pregnant with Ted’s child
Jeff and Mary have a knock down drag out at the Bum boat
Terry Bryson “comforts” Adrian after Ted leaves
Jeff goes to confront Ted w/ Mary. Ted beats Jeff to a pulp…The fight turns Mary on so much that she seduces Ted and they continue to scam Adrian.
Adrian finds a lost cat on the way to Ted’s home and the plotline diverts to Adrian finding the cat a home until 2010.
Little Guy
April 17th, 2009 at 7:19 am
RMMD: Did I just hear Roger Daltrey screaming in the background?
S-M: “Yes, I noticed you were a Who fan in the way you removed your mask while quipping!”
9CL: Awwww…. dammit, Brooke! Why did you have to do that? You…. you made me go awwwwww over the Burbers!
Baldo: On the other hand, just go, okay?
MT: Jackelrod Moley Boy! Moley moley moley!
BB: They should do this in Gil Thorp.
F&E: Sometimes it’s hit and miss, but I liked this one.
BR: Again, a hit.
Curtis: I want to say I called it, but it’s just too easy for her.
Patrick
April 17th, 2009 at 7:20 am
Dr. Jeff’s background checks can’t be too thorough, if he hasn’t noticed the window on his own front door has been smashed in.
Little Guy
April 17th, 2009 at 7:23 am
Juggs Paker is coming back in the WaPo! Time for my eye appointment.
re 26, Baldo: Maybe we can finally see Baldo and Cute Co-worker having a storyline, that won’t end up like…
Luann: This will only pay off if we find out Mr DeGroot was caught by his parents with a girl in the garage when he was 23, and it traumatized him to this day.
Little Guy
April 17th, 2009 at 7:23 am
er, that’s Juggs Pah-ker, as they say in New England….
temujin
April 17th, 2009 at 7:46 am
Molly Kinsella is babelicious…but she has a disconcerting parallel mirror-universe double thing going on.
Wait…now she’s TWICE as hot!
TheCasey
April 17th, 2009 at 8:03 am
#3, True Fable, Re: Luann – It’s going to last until the newspapers let Greg Evans show the climax (pun intended). You know he has a notebook full of sketches already.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 17th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Marm: “…so that’s why we’ll be employing the Heimlich maneuver.”
Ballard Street: In that position, Scooter might well have taken him by surprise, too; perhaps even more so.
MG&G: Today’s episode features a yellow dog in a Hello Kitty head humping a secret service agent. Just an alert if you think you might like that kind of thing and don’t usually read the strip.
Also: Shoe’s
jokeselection of words grouped into two clusters doesn’t make any more sense if I mentally replace the bird-things with people. Maybe it’s an anagram? Or some obscure, multileveled rhyming slang? Hot flashes → dots and dashes → Morse code → horse’s load? So I’m thinking this is either a quite poetic reflection on an oft unspoken bond among all creatures, rooted in the common fact of the burdens that each must carry; or it’s an unnecessarily circumspect admission that the whole strip is, in fact, a steaming pile of horse crap.Whippersnapper
April 17th, 2009 at 8:21 am
Sally Forth: Wow, that’s a really good description of how I feel at work.
TheCasey
April 17th, 2009 at 8:22 am
4/17
Archie – I didn’t realize porn had commercials.
Bizarro – So, Bigfoot’s what you get when a human impregnates a bear? Other than a corpse, I mean?
Crankshaft – Possum Jones? Was that from before they invented first names?
Curtis – Wait, they handcuffed her, then Tasered her? Keep up the excellent work, officers.
HtH – What is someone going to steal, the giant sign or the tiny house?
#16, Mibbitmaker, Re: Pluggers – When I was in school, tacky day was sometimes part of Spirit Week leading up to homecoming. There were different themed dress-up days, most of which I don’t recall.
kalki
April 17th, 2009 at 8:30 am
9CL: Huh? Actual familial love instead of more “fuck hands”? Cmon, Brooke, you’ve already crossed the line, keep going…time for the first 3some in a comic strip. At least the first one actually depicted, *wink wink* Blondie and Dagwood…
Blondie: Herb, huh….
Crank: Too many words to wade through. I can see Crankers looking like he might actually die from old age before this has been shuts up.
DTM: Today may actually be menacing…not for poor nutrition…but wasn’t Leatherface the last kid who wore overalls to school every day?
CircusJerk: “Cram it, Cankles…Can’t you see mommy is trying to touch her ’special place’?”
FW: “Ok, I’ll call and put you on speakerphone when we get to her bedroom. Don’t forget to yell ’stop hurting, Mommy!” when you hear me sobbing out ‘Lisa’. Stop looking at me like that…”
Luann: Oh, well…now TJ has to die. Toni can hold him down while Brad smothers him by teabagging TJ with extreme prejudice.
S-M: “Because, I have psychic abilities, Electro! wwoooooooo!”
mordock999
April 17th, 2009 at 8:31 am
Today’s Luann – 04/17/09
Toni’s about to lay some BAD news on Brad.
She’s moving in with either:
1) Dirk
2) Ben
3) Some hot male firefighter.
Serves you right Brad for LISTENING to your ‘Ex-Hippie’ Mom and NOT moving in with Toni last year when she Invited you.
Also serves you right for having a ‘best friend’ thats a PARASITE.
____________________________
DEATH to TJ!!!
Ethan Shuster
April 17th, 2009 at 8:38 am
A background check on Mary would uncover nothing, as she has erased her past with a number of specific, discreet murders of public officials and law enforcement officers. Otherwise, someone would learn the secret that makes her younger now than she was in 1940.
Pinky
April 17th, 2009 at 8:46 am
What kind of monkey/human hybrid mutants are playing on the Lady Mudlarks softball team? I know my fingers aren’t twice the length of my palm as depicted on the high-fiving teammate in panel 3. She does have a nice manicure, though.
Old School Allie Cat
April 17th, 2009 at 8:53 am
FW – Look, Summer – just because your daddy had to pay Funky to get his bad seed stepson to take you to the Winter Dance doesn’t mean you get to cock-block your father when he’s trying to cut himself off a slice of chocolate cake.
In fact, Summer, somewhere across town, another woman is weeping openly because she’s not the one with your father tonight.
Wrap your mushroom-shaped noggin around that one, why don’t you?
McManx
April 17th, 2009 at 9:03 am
Phantom — Okay, so the GWW drops the Croccos off on an oil rig to “save” them. What next? The wily Croccos learn to operate the oil rig, begin production and join OPEC?
Mary W — Who broke the window in Jeff’s door?
Crankshaft — Appears the old guy lost half his moustache.
Gil Thorp — Either the scene inexplicably shifted or Rich mutated into a much younger man in panel two.
Mark Trail — Jesus! Given Rusty’s awful countenance in panel two, he has nothing to fear from the two crooks. One look and they’ll turn to stone.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
April 17th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Hey, can anybody tell me the Hebrew adjective meaning “not Kosher for Passover”? I have a T-shirt idea brewing. Or, should I say, baking. Anyway, the following snark has been prepared under chocolate rabbitical supervision:
9CL: Of course Mother Burber knows whether she ever loved Juliette. She didn’t. But the important thing is, they both know that.
A3G: When someone’s angrily ranting at you, instead of telling them something relevant, try saying “No, listen!” If he doesn’t become calm and rational immediately, try “I can explain!” That always works.
Baldo: Nope, there’s nothing to say but “goodbye.” Oh, and, “Maybe at your next job you should, you know, work.”
Bizarro: Huh. I thought that when you combine wilderness, beer, and rednecks, what happens was called “sodomy.” Of course, if in the unseen panel two the rednecks are violently sodomized by Sasquatch, that would explain everything.
C’Shaft: What’s a “batterymate”? The guy who helps you beat up the hooker? If so, you couldn’t want a better one than Ed Crankshaft.
DtM: “No, Dennis, this is not the symbol for an all-male four-way.”
(WT)DT: B.O. Plenty has won, so far, $750,000. Yet he has a basement stuffed with money sacks. Does B.O. wad up each bill before stuffing it into the bags? Is he taking payment in Campbell’s Soup coupons, cash value 1/20¢? Or are these decoy bags stuffed with used toilet paper? That would explain the B.O.
EC: Wait, wait, I think I’ve missed something here… are these characters supposed to be Jewish or something? That’s why I can’t read this strip, I never get the subtext.
HtH: Ha ha! It’s funny because if there’s one thing Vikings are known for, it’s billboard-sized signs proclaiming their personal mottos outside their tiny shacks!
JP: The best thing about this strip coming back to the Washington Post is that, in the meantime, readers haven’t missed any of the plot.
Hateeachothers: In another comic universe, the chick Leroy’s talking to looks like Gloria Sanchez. In yet another, she’s Adrian Corey. Makes ya think, don’t it.
MT: I just love that the most expressive face in this strip belongs to the dog.
MW: As Excel Excel might say, “Uso wa ai ja nai.” Then Adrian would cough blood and collapse.
Ghost-Who-Pisses-Off-Aquaman: Boy, that one Crocco must really like abandoned oil platforms.
RwO: Where’s the “Not Getting Caught And Having Your Foot Cut Off For A Tacky Souvenir Luck” area? ….ohhhh, right.
SH: And the Most Blatant Furry Fetish Fuel On The Comics Page award goes to… oh my God, it’s Bil Holbrook again!
SL: He’s a shark. I thought it was gonna be “daaa-DUM… daaa-DUM… da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM…”
Shoe: Ha ha! It’s funny because it’s utterly incomprehensible and nobody would ever say it!
Hibbleton
April 17th, 2009 at 9:07 am
JP: Why is whatshisname in the first panel of today’s Judge Parker dancing in the background? Is the office radio set to boogie-woogie?
Calico
April 17th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Go Judge! Congratulations.
Beetle – well, it’s bowling season still (league play).
GT – Re: Team names – how about The Docents?
MT – Aaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggghhhhhh
That image isn’t helping my sinus headache go away!
#45 – Steve must be dancing to the tunes on an oldies station, and now they’re playing “Rock Around the Clock.”
3G – Expected meltdown!
Oh Margo please come home NOW oh pleeease
I want to see Joe shriveled up on the floor, pummeled, weeping and drooling.
Calico
April 17th, 2009 at 9:19 am
#25 – You are so right-I’d also enjoy seeing Joe slathered in Pine-Sol, smelling foresty fresh and half blinded.
Or if both Ruby AND Margo formed a tag team…hee hee heeeeeee…
Ignatz
April 17th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Hey! Bettle Bailey made me laugh! That doesn’t happen much.
Calico
April 17th, 2009 at 9:26 am
#35 – Marm may have to resort to shitting fire for a couple of days. What fun!
Bootsy
April 17th, 2009 at 9:29 am
MT: I like Sassy and Andy in this strip. I’m sensing a theme.
RMMD: Unseen final panel, “You know Dad is gay, don’t you Mommy?”
John C Fremont
April 17th, 2009 at 9:42 am
#45 & 46 – I thinks it’s a jazz station, and that in the second panel Sam is describing the concept of “jazz hands.” Gloria will have none of it, though. I like Gloria.
These Strange Worlds
April 17th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Luann
My guess is that Toni is moving in with a hot African American lady firefighter. Or if TJ isn’t actually African American, then she’s moving in with a racially ambiguous hot lady firefighter.
Chicago Bob
April 17th, 2009 at 9:52 am
GT: temujin is on the right track, but for people of a certain age the correct response is:
“Mudlark twin powers…ACTIVATE!!!”
Mel
April 17th, 2009 at 9:56 am
40, Ethan Shuster: That, and she filed the VIN number off her ass.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 17th, 2009 at 9:57 am
#44 – I’m not sure what you’re trying to insinuate about Safe Have… er. Hang on, what was I saying? I got distracted by a border collie.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 17th, 2009 at 10:01 am
GT Panel 1, Extended Remix: “Ha! That is a funny joke, Rich. Your moustache retains soup and looks like a small wolverine perched under your nose.”
Joey Chicago
April 17th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Bizarro: Bigfoot is what you get when a silverback gorilla rapes the daylights out of your typical redneck.
Muffaroo
April 17th, 2009 at 10:11 am
A3G – “You jezebel from hell! The Tri-lateral Commission got to you, didn’t they? You killed Alan!” Too bad Joe will probably be leaving the strip soon, as his crazed anger not only made him look different from the other male character (or characters, as some contend), but it wiped that Barbie smile off Tommie’s face.
DTracy – Yeah, Gertie, that’s some sinister-looking money, all right… well, actually, it just looks like it wants to be fed. Throw it some interest and it’ll shut up.
FCircus – “I hope I’m as pretty as you after I’m dead, Mommy.”
What, too soon?
FWbean – These kids today with their kooky made-up lingo. Twenty-five skiddoo! Keep on tractoring!
GThorp – Get rid of the video? Well, you can ask them, along with each of the 750,000 people who’ve downloaded it so far today.
(2) We see the “hundred monkeys” theory treated as fact today. One character learns to hold his hand out, and the next thing you know, they’re all doing it, each for their own purpose. In panel 2, it’s used to illustrate and clarify the statement “Nope.” In panel 3, it’s part of the blood ritual by which the girls’ team calls on Satan to help them win their games.
MTrail – You should get out of there, Rusty. I think I hear your ventriloquist calling you.
My Cage – The plot thickens, complete with four panels of artwork individually tailored to the dialog. I like that.
PCity – I have a soft spot for seeing this character killed. Isn’t Rand the Buzzard hungry?
RMMD – If she has little wheels in her head, I’m guessing the thing she’s keeping from you has to do with her robotic nature. Duh.
S4th – Now we’re getting into Charlie Brown psychological territory. And that’s good.
Shoe – We’re long past the point where these ‘birds’ are anything other than bird-shaped people. The cartoon biology is pretty thin. I suspect any of them could mate with a cat and have a puppy for a kid, and that goes for most any funny animal strip except Mark Trail.
Zippy – Who needs “jokes” with a tapestry of character and narrative like this? There’s room in my world for a comic that (say 1/3 of the time) is somewhat thought provoking.
Muffaroo
April 17th, 2009 at 10:14 am
True Fable @3 – I just don’t get it… Curtis is obeying the Prime Directive of most comic strips: Preserve the Status Quo at all costs. This is why Brad won’t get laid, Edda won’t get married, Charlie Brown won’t kick the ball, Sam Driver won’t get interested, PJ won’t learn to talk, Dolly won’t learn to say ‘television,’ Wee Wistful will never get into the candy store, and Aunt May will never drop dead.
Mibbitmaker @16 – Tacky Day??? Never heard of it, but my cousin once called and said he’d been invited to an Ugly Shirt Party, and thought I might be able to help him out. I put him into a homemade shirt I found at a thrift shop that was poorly cut out of an unappealing print. The piéce de résistance was that, instead of buttons, it was held together with little irregular circles of Velcro. My cousin came home a winner, and said that all through the party, everybody kept ripping his shirt open.
Hey, wait a minute! He thought I could help him out? Why, that…
Oh, and I’m with you on that Spider-Man thing. Did the kid moan something about “Daddy Electro” in his delirium? Did Spidey get his last name? Did his Spidey-sense just prompt him to blurt that out? Tacky Day???
Spider-Brick @44 – Treyf (or tref)?
re Hagar: It is funny because it is so inappropriate! Ha ha! It is inappropriate, I tell you!
For No Reason – I’m reminded that I searched for and found this yesterday. The beloved Bulgarian children’s film, PEPI LONGSOCKS. He is so unusual!
Brick Bradford
April 17th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Phantom; It would seem to me that a good home for the Croccos would be a place where they won’t be discovered by people. So, right smack damn in the Gulf of Mexico–a much traveled body of water and a major commercial fishery. They out to remain hidden for about 30 seconds. And the commercial fishermen will be SO happy to have them competing for the rapidly depleting fish stocks.
Good job, Ghost Who Screws Up Royally.
survivor
April 17th, 2009 at 10:29 am
In panel 2, is Coach Kaz sporting an earing, exposed chest hair, a necklace, and a David Hasselhoff haircut?
Yeah I thought so, too.
Mooncattie
April 17th, 2009 at 10:41 am
PLAY BALL!
BB – Baseball joke as done by a big conglomerate that clocks in to work for 30 minutes a day
‘SHAFT – “let me tell you a little story BLAHBLAHBLAH”…yes it’s time for another Raising Awareness Baseball Fable, and this one will be as dull as the Pearson Cup. At least we have some perplexed Crankshaft expressions to enjoy, as if he’s thinking “wait a minute…my buddy played in CUBA? Does that mean…he’s…a…Commie??!!”
GT – Lots of baseball fun this past week – especially with Gil being such a lousy sport! And count me in as a Molly Kinsella fan, too. Kinsella is a great baseball name. And Molly…is simply mollificent! :-)
SF – Now that’s how you do a baseball gag. Love that smile!
queek
April 17th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Love is. . . .up to the elbow?!?!?!?
*curls up whimpering*
Calico
April 17th, 2009 at 10:48 am
#51 – Yes, in addition to Margo and Ruby, Gloria has Cojones. Figuratively speaking, of course.
Maybe she can help take out Joe the sociopathic doctor as well.
#62 – What is the Pearson cup? Is it named after Lester Pearson?
#44 – I think “Pareve” means it’s ok for Passover, but don’t know the adj. for Not Kosher.
Islamorada Girl
April 17th, 2009 at 10:49 am
60: Brick, let’s not forget the Gulf of Mexico is chock full of dead zones, thanks to pollution. So the Croccos can either strangle or starve in their new home. If I were them, I’d keep on going until I got to Cancun, then just relax on the beach with a tropical drink.
buckyswife
April 17th, 2009 at 10:52 am
MW: Gah! There’s a matching jacket!
MT: Gah! Another Rusty close-up! (Really, Elrod, back off, okay? What’s next: Rusty snivels in fear and we get a good shot up his dilated nostrils?)
And yay for the return of JP to the Post! (I wonder what they’ll cut in exchange? Sadly, not the deserving comics, I’m afraid.)
tb4000
April 17th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Luann: “Where would she sleep?”
I swear, this shit just writes itself/
TheDiva
April 17th, 2009 at 10:57 am
FW: Just please, please tell me that “sidebar” is not a synonym for “roadside”…
MW: Stupid or arrogant? Or arrogant stupidity? You decide!
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 17th, 2009 at 11:06 am
MC: “Are you feeling jealous?” “No, it’s just since the power’s turned off and the furniture people repo’d all my stuff there’s not much incentive to hang around here.”
commodorejohn
April 17th, 2009 at 11:20 am
A3G – Why is he staring at her chin? Is that where the midget dolphins from Jupiter live? Are they telling him to kill?
BrS – Awesome! Sidekick acquired!
Crankshaft – Um, Jefferson? I hate to interrupt such a thrilling and doubtlessly relevant tale, but you’ve got something in your nose.
Curtis – Oh, so they subdued her and then shocked her with electric darts! Fun-nee! Seriously, I was willing to let the first one go as slapstick, but when you start getting into the little details of the incident, it starts getting a lot less funny. Like the Bucky storyline in Mark Trail.
DTM – I didn’t know the Illuminati ran the school system.
DT – I guess Locher decided the storyline wasn’t ridiculous enough without some ridiculous visuals. I’m expecting Flintheart Glomgold to show up at any moment and try to raid the basement.
FW – See, this is why I like Summer: stuck with an emotionally crippled, creepy pervert narcissist for a father, she soldiers on, taking whatever opportunities she can to remind him that she’s actually the more mature person in the household. You go, girl. Like, away from Westview. It might not prevent the cancer, but you might at least make it to fifty.
GA – Um, Gertie, that’s your car parked outside. If you want to go home, you could, you know, drive it. Like, to your home, even.
GT – I can’t wait until the video spawns a bunch of poorly-staged imitations.
JP – Take your bets, guys: will this storyline’s Improbably Busty Guest Character be Godiva, showing up because her kids have gotten better surprisingly quick? Will it be some personal assistant of Rocky’s? Will it be some kind of shady foreign agent working at Europa Aerospace, thus tying into the April Bower subplot? The possibilities are endless, as long as they involve ample mammaries.
Love Is… – deeply, profoundly disturbing.
Luann – Dear Brad: you are a loathsome human being. I sincerely hope Toni shares a room with TJ and they keep you up into the wee hours of the morning with various coital sound effects. Die in a fire.
MF – Dear Bruce Tinsley: please stop drawing caricatures with penises for chins. Seriously. It’s disturbing.
MT – STOP DOING THAT
MW – I wanted to give him a loan now, but that’s not love/
I wanted to take him to live at Charterstone now, but that’s not love…
RMMD – “Mom…I have the mumps.”
SM – Okay, is Spidey seriously going to win the battle by telling Electro that his son is in the hospital? That would be both epically lame and kind of underhanded. But mostly epically lame.
Calico
April 17th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Oh God Mumps -no owwwwww
I did have one-sided mumps as a kid, and I would not wish that discomfort upon anyone. Not even Crankshaft. Eeeeeeee.
Soccerhead
April 17th, 2009 at 11:43 am
GT: “this is getting old.”
My sentiments exactly, Gil.
Shouldn’t the girls on panel 3 be doing the fist bump? Or is this another thing that hasn’t come to Milford yet?
Lockhorns: Leroy making it with the hot babes is another thing that’s getting old.
Zits: now THIS is getting old.
Paul1963
April 17th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Gil Thorp: No, Gil, no TV station is going to scrap a piece of entertaining video just because you’re embarassed at getting hit on the head by a baseball.
And even if the station was willing to do that, it’s too late anyway because it’s now on the Internet, where people will be laughing and mocking you long after Molly Kinsella’s grandchildren are performing the interpretive dances that Milford laughingly refers to as “playing sports.”
Bootsy
April 17th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Brick and I Girl: I expect that in the next few months, Croccos will be discovered by Cajun fishermen, who will first mistake them for Alabama shrimpers out in the Gulf. Second, realizing their mistake a few years down the line, they will capture them, and lastly, eat them. Believe me, folks in Mamou, Boutte, Eunice and Lafayette will eat anything. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, as a crawfish boil is one of the greatest delights known to civilization.
Soon after, Croccos will be on the menu in New Orleans poor boys shops, moving next to be discovered in fine dining establishments. Next, the rest of the world will discover “crock o’ Crocco” on a TGIFriday’s menu.
bats :[
April 17th, 2009 at 11:51 am
58. Muffaroo: I’d rather see Sarah as something other than the annoying kid-bot from “Small Wonder”:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3448817497/sizes/o/
migellito
April 17th, 2009 at 11:54 am
I’m really hoping that when we finally meet Rocky he’s a small grey squirrel with a helmet, and Godiva is the new moose in his life.
Zaq
April 17th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Friday goodness!
C’shaft: I knew Clambake. Clambake was a friend of mine. And you, sir, are no Clambake!
MT: Paraphrasing Josh from a year or so ago: OH GOD HE HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH HIS FACE
Ghost-Who-Introduces-Foreign-Species: Huh. Usually I don’t get the “comic strip decade warp effect” from the Phantom, but… “way” as a generic degree adverb? Haven’t heard THAT one in a while.
A3G: Joe looks like he could use some dope.
RMMD: Huh. Maybe Sarah really is Rex’s kid. She’s got his full, pouty lips.
Luann: Part of me hates everyone in this strip and wishes atrocities upon them, but part of me realizes that they’re already living in their own hell.
MW: So, Ted’s mind-control powers rival that of Mary’s! This can only end with a psychic duel to the death, Mary doing that creepy finger-rub thing she does on her new marks, Ted calling Mary by ridiculous nicknames and trying to guess exactly what she wants to hear, the two of them talking around each other in the most passive-aggressive manner possible. It’ll be like Thunderdome for mind-dominating demons, in slow motion.
Uncle Lumpy
April 17th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
#74 Bootsy –
Maybe Rival® will acquire the branding rights for their slow cooker.
Dingo
April 17th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
catching up…
Joe Kelly declares, “I’m cold and clammy and my hands are shaking.” Congratulations, Joe, those are the three signs you’re ready for sex with Tommie Thompson. The vomiting comes afterward.
Edgy DC
April 17th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Oh, Molly Kinsella. You think she’s all charm as you think on her from afar. Oh, gaze on her long locks athletically tied back to reveal her fair Irish skin and almond shaped eyes. But your illusions of teenage sweetness come crashing down when you realize she’s so narcissistic that she can only celebrate a softball triumph by high-fiving herself in the mirror, oblivious to her teammates laughter.
T. Chicana
April 17th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
FW: “Sidebar?” Is that some sort of slang between them because Les is supposed to be a writer?
Sidebar THIS, Summer. Your dad is gonna be gettin’ some hot smirkin’ while you stink up the house with your ever-present red hooded sweatshirt on another Saturday night.
Got that, uh, subhead? Pull-quote! GRRRRR.
p.s. O.S. Allie Cat, I really could not sum it up better than you did. I love the “mushroom shaped noggin” part!
teenchy
April 17th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
#26: You do know that the Havana Sugar Kings were an actual minor league baseball team, affiliated with the Cincinnati Reds?
GA generally: Can someone please fill me in on this Gertie/Bird storyline? I don’t read the strip regularly and I know from here that most of its plotlines are absurd. But what’s with the photorealistic (albeit unattractive) characters and the relatively mundane plotline? When will someone drawn in a pre-WWII style drop in out of nowhere and threaten to hit this jazz club with an asteroid?
Milo
April 17th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
As far as religious school teams go, we were the Lutheran Vikings, which makes about as much sense as Catholic Spartans. Of course, one of the nearby Catholic schools went the whole mile with The Popes and The Lady Popes.
TheCasey
April 17th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
RE: #83, Milo – At least they weren’t the Popettes.
Uncle Lumpy
April 17th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
#82 teenchy –
Gertie is Old Walt’s caregiver, in the “tough-talkin’ softie saint” tradition. She’s a denizen of Uncanny Valley, probably because the artist drew a friend into the strip.
Bert (Bird) is the short-order cook at Corky’s Diner, where Gertie eats, but (we will soon see) he’s really a revered genius jazz musician, following the “I mocked the plumber ’til he took me to the opera” sitcom trope.
They are, of course, meant for one another.
queek
April 17th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
75: “no capes”
MG&G: humping a leg while wearing a Hello Kitty head.
*goes back to curled up and whimpering*
NutellaonToast
April 17th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
That high five in Gil Thorp is very ill advised. High fives are either up high or down low. This is very important for safety, as the occasional miss is directed away from the body.
The girls, however, with their “face level” high fives are aiming for some serious trouble should anyone ever whiff, or pull the dread “too slow” maneuver.
I guess the ball to the head bit was just a foreshadowing of an increase in slap stick humor. Hahahaha! She got smacked in the face!
thurston unger
April 17th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
JP: Even when nothing is happening, which is almost always, this strip is worth watching, if not reading. It would be better, though, if it was a ceaseless parade of scantily dressed women with clever names embroiled in scandals that require Sam or Steve to drop by occasionally and then make themselves scarce. Also, I’d like to require that Neddy return pronto, and Sophie grow up faster. Also, the weird butler and his stripper wife from Paris…they should be regulars. Let’s get on this, guys. Chop, chop.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 17th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
JP (Don’t call it a comeback!): The meeting will be cut short when Rocky Ledge sees Gloria with her steno pad. “You! You’re the one who’s been hiding behind our garbage cans. I’m outta here. And the restraining order still stands!”
A3G: “Joe, you’re acting crazy!”
“Yeah, it’s a last ditch attempt to distinguish myself from the other male characters.”
GT: Gil has less than no idea how the Internet works. Yeah, try pestering YouTube, MetaCafe, etc to take the video down because it makes you look dumb.
Frazz: Kids in–what–the fourth grade reading Umberto Eco? If you want your children to get a head start in the humanities and postmodernism, this is the school for you.
DBury: It could be that Jeff is just sucking up to his handler, but I’m hoping he’s a true fan of the cougar. It would make him more interesting.
MW: Okay, Adrian needs to be sent back to grade school, pronto. Maybe she’ll be ready to enter the dating world by the time she hits 50. We’ll see how it goes.
H&L: Yes, it takes time to learn how to run with an erection without stumbling.
S4th: It’ passed “unsettling” as soon as I saw it.
PBS: Basically the same as Pig’s “Gummi Bear Heaven” from a fwe months back. I do like the Charlie Brown lamp, though.
SSmith: “A course the minister would be too good for me. His paw and me we brought him up right.”
FW: “And dad? This is a little awkward for me, but take these in case the mood is right. They’re ribbed for her pleasure.”
Curtis: A preteen girl being imprisoned and tortured via Taser? Sorry, Billingsley, but I don’t think you can summon the outrage this calls for.
MC: Careful, Norm. You don’t want to be Ashley’s creepy and abusive boyfriend. Nor does Brigid want to be with you if you go that way.
Momma: I have very little good to say about reality TV. The fact that no one from Momma has ever been on a reality show is a point in its favor, though.
Fashion Police
April 17th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
We declared Adrian’s outfit “inoffensive” yesterday. Now that she’s thrown on that hideous horizonally-striped sweater we’re compelled to reconsider. Adrian needs to be publicly humiliated, have her entire wardrobe thrown into a trash bin. and forced into a new hairstyle. That’s for starters.
Digger
April 17th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Wow, Sarge’s head must really be getting pounded. I noticed that when a ball hits him, his solitary tooth moves from the center of his mouth to the very edge. Oh, well, as long as he’s being hit by a ball appropriate to the season, he should be okay with it.
rachel
April 17th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
re: Judge Parker in the Post:
YES WE DID! YES WE DID!
Eric the baker
April 17th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
GT: regarding Hoosier Country 105, aka WHCC: I am a Bloomington IN resident, and FM 105 is a station I listen too once in awhile. It helps to set a certain mood when I’m driving through sections of the county, especially when I’m off to one of our fine automotive recycling facilities (junk yards).
After reading the Bruce Tinsley article a couple weeks ago, realizing he’s a local resident and thinking about it today, I wonder… Do you think Tinsley might also listen to WHCC, Hoosier Country 105? /shudder
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 17th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
#38 kalki,
Are you suggesting a Juliette/Elliot/Gran three-way?
Oh, mercy, no! Were that shown, there’d be no resistance to C’thulu leading the Elder Gods as they take full possession of this mudball.
teenchy
April 17th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
# 85: Thank you, Uncle Lumpy, for the enlightenment, and the link to Uncanny Valley (which links to a description of RealDolls which I dare not follow). Until now the most I knew of GA was from visiting Tomah, Wisconsin, the home town of its original creator and where I-90 and I-94 divide.
CanuckDownSouth
April 17th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
90-fashion Police: so who needs a “What Not To Wear” intervention more: Mary Worth, Adrian, or the collective violent-blue ‘n mustard – wearing male denizens of the comicsworld?
thurston unger
April 17th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
FW: Here’s a frightening concept. What if a hostile alien race was debating whether to vaporize Earth, and in their quest to determine whether such an action was justified they decided to evaluate our culture? What if they chose to evaluate our culture solely based upon reading FW? They would rightly conclude we’re a race of time jumping misanthropes bitterly resigned to smirking one liners and grey zip-a-tone. And they would vaporize the Earth. We would all die. And Tom Batiuk would finally be happy. Happy.
NoVan
April 17th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Hey, howzabout you put links to all of those banners on tomorrow’s post, like you did last time?
scott
April 17th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
MT-Pick up the gun, Rusty. You’re going to need it..and soon.
Although I don’t know exactly who Uncle Lumpy is, I am sure that he has no real employment because the Comics are posted on time, unlike when Josh comes back from his many “vacations”.
thurston unger
April 17th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
JP: As I mentioned earlier, I dig the JP artwork, but upon further review, and in recalling Cedric The Butler’s hands, I conclude that Baretto really, really likes to draw mens’ hands. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. He just seems to favor the big, veiny paw-like look. As for Steve, he seems to be employing his K-Tel microphone to announce to someone offstage “Hey, good lookin’! We’ll be back to pick you up later!”
OK, I’m done for the day.
Esther Blodgett
April 17th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
JP: I like the fact that everyone is voguing in today’s strip.
A3G: I can’t wait for Joe to hit Tommie with a folding chair! Booyah!
MW: “What’s more, that ‘mustache’ is just an inchworm glued to his upper lip. He’s a shaman!”
Uncle Lumpy
April 17th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
#98 NoVan –
Thanks for mentioning that! There are links to all banners* (for this time and last) on the donations page.
* Except for the horrifying Dick Tracy banner that Baka Gaijin essentially paid to me consign to the flames. How he howled, in that squeaky little contralto of his, and shaking his tiny fists!
Uncle Lumpy
April 17th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
#99 scott –
You have correctly pegged me as a layabout. In fairness to Josh, though, my West Coast location adds three hours between the syndicates’ posting time and my bedtime. As for posting on a schedule, that’s just a combination of the WordPress scheduling utility and really, really advanced OCD.
Mr. Nice Guy
April 17th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
For a long time, I thought the recurring “the Internet is a very dangerous place” theme in Mary Worth was actually a carefully calculated attack on this blog. People can’t read snark about Mary Worth if they’re afraid to go on the Internet, can they?
But I think Mary has bigger fish to fry. Clearly, the strip is waging war on the Internet in order to save the newspaper industry, which is an admirable goal. Go get ‘em, Mary!
bats :[
April 17th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
That bitch Adrian! I was looking through the Fall 2008 fundraising banners, and she stole Prince Valiant’s gold plate collar of state (which sound more manly than “necklace”) and is wearing it as a belt! Ted probably told her to spray-paint it Pepto-pink to disguise it!
Release Nudder, Bup and Ig! I’m sure the three of them will take care of her (and Ted) in no time flat (in addition to being more fashionably attired than anyone in Santa Royale).
Sans Sense
April 17th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
JP:
Why is it that the law firm today looks happier than AIG execs celebrating bonuses? Just look at Steve’s Snoopy Dance!
Fashion Police
April 17th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
96 CanuckDownSouth said:
Tommie Thompson. She was great once.
queek
April 17th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
89: Caulfield is very smart for his age, and thus very very bored with typical 3rd grade stuff. (I know the feeling, if not quite to the same level.)
97: It’s already happened. Thankfully, the Earth was saved by Poteet, potatoes, and single-malt.
Jackuul
April 17th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I’m thinking perhaps a storyline that covers the effects of a school shooting in Gil Thorp (A Very Special Strip) would be better. Since the new David Choachalhoff look, perhaps he’s become unhinged, started packing a firearm during his obvious mid-life going-nowhere-and-is-useless crisis, and because of the brain injury decides to go all out on those losers he has coached for a good part of his wasted adult life. We could have a sort of “Falling Down” mixed with “He was a Quiet Man” series of strips, culminating in the slaughter at the school.
Then they can pull a Foob and rerun them for the next 900 years.
Marthas Rolling Pin
April 17th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
#108 I do miss the Emperor, in spite of his threats. I hope that when he has finished magmacannoning those entities who are currently revolting against his most magnanimous rule, that he will deign to visit us again.
Bootsy
April 17th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Hey, Scott, don’t pick on Unca Lumpy! When Josh is gone, he lets us stay up late and make popcorn and watch movies! Sometimes he lets me sit on his lap and he tells me he has candy in his pockets and I have to find it! Then he lets me have a sip of his gin and tonic, and once he let me have one of my own. He told me it would be our “secret”. The rest I can’t tell about cuz he gave me money.
They don’t call him Uncle Lumpy for nothing. And to think my Mr. Green Jeans obsession finally paid off!
Fashion Police
April 17th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
96 CanuckDownSouth:
To address your specific question, Adrian’s is the greatest need. If she were more presentable she might not have to rely on Internet predators for a social life.
Mary Worth’s wardrobe serves the same purpose as the brightly-colored Central American poisonous frogs: to announce “Here Lies Danger!” to any who get too close.
The electric-blue epidemic is too great a task, even for me. One hopes that as more and more comics appear in color, inkers will stop treating them as if they were to be scanned in black-and-white.
True Fable
April 17th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
#111 Bootsy – Uncle Lumpy lets me bring my goats in from the rain and sip really good Kentucky bourbon while I stay up and watch both seasons of The Big O until I drunkenly wail, “why couldn’t they film a season three; why?!” and pass out.
LaziestManOnMars
April 17th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
I’m positive today’s Beetle Bailey is a retread of an older strip.
Bootsy
April 17th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
# 113, True, but do you know what Uncle Lumpy does after you pass out?
Jeff
April 17th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Comics survey update: I’m happy to report Slylock Fox is leading the pack, but the viking is not too far behind! Help!
http://www.thestate.com/living/story/737433.html
Kayrbear
April 17th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Breaking the trend of comics plagiarizing their earlier selves, I’m pretty sure that this “Beetle Bailey” is a plagiarized version of an old “Foxtrot” strip where Peter was playing ball in the house and his mom said “It’s not even football season!” so he thew a baseball instead. Just sayin’.
True Fable
April 17th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
#115 Bootsy – Are you saying my ninja goats are pushovers? Of course, they have been trained to warn off Lynn Johnston in particular, not…not…not uncles…
oh dear. I have not considered this before. It gives one pause.
Mooncattie
April 17th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
#64 Calico – The Pearson Cup was a mid-season exhibition match played between the Toronto Blue Jays and the Montreal Expos back in the days before inter-league play. It tended to be a real yawner, somewhat annoying to both clubs that would have preferred the day off. I seem to recall that it was an opportunity for both squads to throw out the second-stringers and call up some minor league fellas to give them a look-see. So it was a sort of cheat for the fans, as well. And YES, it was named after former Canadian Prime Minister (and baseball fan) Lester Pearson. It might have been less dull if the trophy had been called the Lester Cup. It certainly sounds creepier! Two fun facts:
1) Lester won a Nobel Peace Prize
2) His middle name was Bowles. The Bowles Bowl sounds even creepier!
Soccerhead
April 17th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Jump Start: His trainer chased him for 15 miles?
Hasn’t he gotten enough exercise today?
sugarpie
April 17th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
#111 Bootsy Sometimes Uncle Lumpy lets us play Dick Tracy with Josh’s 9mm. As long as we do it outside, he doesn’t much care what we do. I think thats because he gets such headaches.
Brick Bradford
April 17th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Bootsy and I Girl: Mmmmm. Crocco ettoufe (and I am sure I totally butchered the spelling of that–just too damned lazy to look it up.) How about a big ol’ Crocco boil?
Just wait ’till that crazy guy with the hoodie and the huge wrench gets a load of the creatures from the Black Lagoon climing up on his drilling platform (is it just me or did that sound kind of dirty?).
Islamorada Girl
April 17th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
74: Having Cajun friends in Lafayette, I’m pretty sure they’ll eat a Crocco, if a Crocco doesn’t eat them first. As long as there’s rice with the meal, they’ll eat anything. Crayfish boil is good, but gimme some boudin!
And yes, Fashion Police, Adrian is a fashion victim who needs an intervention.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 17th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
The yesterthread talk of MAD fold-ins reminded me of this piece of schlock and my perhaps too understated remark on the same.
Dave
April 17th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Official article from the Washington Post’s Ombudsman about Judge Parker’s reinstatement, which will run on Sunday. But you can see it now online.
It says over 750 complaints came through about Judge Parker.
Nice, CC’ers.
Here is the WaPo article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/17/AR2009041702318.html
gnome de blog
April 17th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
The world has already discovered Croccos, although the name of the dish has been worn down over time to “croquette.”
That’s why they were holed up on that island off the Bangalla coast. Now that they’ve widened their range, they’ll be back on the menu and folks won’t have to substitute beef, fish, chicken, etc. for the original “crocco-ette.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 17th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Subtle foreshadowing alert: The letters in “Brunhilde Akerman” can be rearranged to spell “Hark! I blend manure.”
Donald the Anarchist
April 17th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
GT Now Gil, if they didn’t delete the one of you porking a chicken why would you think they’d make an exception for this?
Shoe Alternative punchlines that make just as much sense:
Was the popcorn buttered?
I thought I hated previews!
I guess that will teach them not to fire the projectionist!
MW Adrian just wants one more night of
passionhot monkey sex before her lover is taken from her. Is that so wrong? Even if it isn’t real love?JP Preview of tomorrow’s strip: “Just heard from the airport. The plane is ten minutes behind schedule!”
sugarpie
April 17th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
125 Dave Congratulations! Neither Alexander or Cavna make it sound like the editors are all that pleased about having to reverse their decision. But since they did, I’ll overlook the attitude.
Black Drazon
April 17th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Today in Gil Thorp we Molly overcome the Spartans in the epic sport of mirror-slapping.
gnome de blog
April 17th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
129 sugarpie:
I didn’t read Cavna but Alexander was a bit…condescending, wouldn’t you say?
P.S. re yesterthread: those fish sticks may sound tempting compared to “tuna jizz” as you describe it, but believe me, they were no treat. Certainly not worth a dozen Hail Marys (and I’m not even Catholic).
Crunchy Frog
April 17th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Aside from the whole point that birds don’t work that way, why is she telling this guy about her hot flashes? Aren’t the embarrassments and discomforts of menopause supposed to be subjects that cartoon women (hilariously!) complain about just to their girlfriends (‘cause they’re supposed to sympathize) and husbands (‘cause they’re supposed to suffer too, dammit)? I can’t begin to understand why Roz would volunteer details like this to one of her male customers. Unless… unless she’s actually trying to make him uncomfortable… Is that it? She doesn’t like him (maybe he’s been hitting on her), she doesn’t really want his patronage, and she’s trying to creep him out so he’ll stop coming around? Hmm. You know, if that’s the case, it frankly doesn’t matter if she really gets hot flashes or not. Come to think of it, claiming to be beset with discomforts and disorders not even appropriate/possible for your species is a brilliant passive-aggressive way to make potentially amorous strangers want to avoid you! Let’s see, what else can she claim? Oh, I know!— She’s been suffering from chronic tusk pulpitis, has just been diagnosed with an udder infection, has a case of fin rot that’s getting worse all the time, and she has this awful problem with retained eyecaps every time she sheds her skin lately. Oh, oh, and she suspects that she’s contracted Dutch elm disease, too!
And then she can clinch it by saying she has erectile dysfunction; that ought to do the trick.
Lord Vetinari
April 17th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
A3G: oooh, bobbling! and a nice my-head-is-about-to-implode face on Joe in that third panel.
’shaft: this dude is totally clambake reincarnated with an added dose of smirking doom. Oh, and half a mustache trying to eat his face.
DtM: being a toothless sugar addict is not menacing. encouraging the rest of the class to eat peanut butter every day and get salmonilla poisoning is very menacing. Such a conflicting message; it’s like Lu Ann’s facial expressions on Margo’s temperament or something.
JP: Sam Driver’s twisted gil-thorpian claw in panel two gives me hope that he will strangle the smirking woman because of pure suppressed rage, ensuring that something happens during the month long wait we have to wait until the plane lands.
Luann: “she’s your girlfriend,” dumb-arse, where’s your supposed sense of romantic timing, she can sleep in your- OH MY GOD. What is that… THING in Mark Trail?! It horrifies and disgusts me! I need to print it out and hang it on the fridge to scare small children with!
OBH: while the woman screams, Ruthie squats down and wonders how her hybrid rat-pig managed to escape from the lab.
RM, MD: It’s okay, Sarah; when you say “i have a boy hidden in my room” mommy June will probably just congragulate you on taking after your father.
Crunchy Frog
April 17th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
#58 Muffaroo:
No, no, of course they know she’s a robot; they had her custom-made. You didn’t think they became parents by having sex, did you?
Stroker Ace
April 17th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
GT – Weekend challenge thanks to Gil Thorp: work “How did you know I got conked, Rich?” into a conversation. May have to dumb down to “conched”.
sugarpie
April 17th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
131 Gnome de Blog Condescending with laurels-but fuck ‘em, they lost this round. Next time they probably wont, more’s the pity.
They really are their own worst enemies-seriously, by their own admission this issue got more response than anything else they could name. Why not rejoice and be glad that consumers want a reason to buy their product. Pride. I’ve got problems with it too, I’m sure.
Fish sticks, fish dicks, tuna/jizz…we should have all rioted. There was, I remember, something called a “veal” cutlet, I think it was made out of chopped up boiled eggs with more of the jizz sauce drooled over it. I’d like to see those prococious, Umberto Eco reading hoodlums in Frazz try and choke that down.
Howlin' Wolf
April 17th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
We can be fairly sure that Dr. Jeff never delved into the stygian lore surrounding Mary’s genesis, given that he isn’t in a mental institution screaming about the rats in the walls.
sugarpie
April 17th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
prococious=precocious (They most likely can spell better too.)
Ukulele Ike
April 17th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
JP: Steve’s not dancing. He has no legs, remember? He’s just losing his balance.
Muffaroo
April 17th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Hooray for Uncle Lumpy! He’s the best! There’s nobody else we love enough to cut Josh’s brake line for. Tell us the Singapore story again, Uncle Lumpy — with the crazy hand shadows!
So. Perhaps the Mudge contingent saved Judge [hotchicks] Parker? Does that mean [hotchicks] they owe us something [hotchicks]? Let’s ask Mister Subliminal!
bats :[ @75 – Speaking of Sarah turning into Edna, here’s my daughter Sarah, turning into Edna.
Poteet
April 17th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
# 108 queek — Aww, shucks. You’re so nice. But really, I have to give the credit to the single malt, followed closely by the potatoes.
Charlene
April 17th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Wasn’t there a Catholic sports team called the Holy Mackerels?
#64 – “Pareve” doesn’t mean “kosher for passover” – it means “kosher and doesn’t contain meat or dairy”. Something marked pareve is not kosher for passover unless it says it is.
bats :[
April 17th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
141. Muffaroo: bwahahaha! For a moment, I didn’t quite connect that your daughter’s name is Sarah, too. Then I did. And heaven help us all, you didn’t name her after Sarah Morgan, did you? And she’s no way as obnoxious as Sarah Morgan, right?
Oh. Cripes. Just saying Sarah Morgan repeatedly suddenly jogs my memory — I have a cousin by the name of Sarah Morgan…fer real and true! Oh, oh….
Mibbitmaker
April 17th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
#70 (commodorejohn):
It already has: today’s Beetle Bailey!
#114 (LaziestManOnMars):
Yeah — the internet video storyline in “Gil Thorp”.
Muffaroo
April 17th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
bats :[ @143 – Oh, no, we named her after our grandmothers. And it seems like there are about a million little girls named Sarah Elizabeth, so I guess she won’t have to suffer from having an unusual name. Obnoxious… well, she’s seven, so a couple times a day, she strives to be obnoxious, but the rest of the time she’s pretty good.
Ah, cousins. I have a cousin named Andy Williams (see “ugly shirt party” story upstream). He’s a lawyer in Texas now, so you can see how having the wrong name will warp you.
Dingo
April 17th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Okay, I may be way over my head tonight but I was thinking about something. What if we staged an adaptation of Pride & Prejudice starring characters from the strips? If you don’t love Jane Austen, this may fall on deaf ears but here’s my go at it.
Pride & Prejudice
Elizabeth Bennet… Margo Magee
Mary Bennet… Lu Ann Powers
Jane Bennet… Tommie Thompson
Lydia Bennet… Cathy
Kitty Bennet… Sally Forth
Mr. Bennet… Aristotle Papagoras
Mrs. Bennet… Aunt Ruby
Charlotte Lucas… Tobey Cameron
Sir William Lucas… Ian Cameron
Mr. Bingley… Lt. Fuzz
Caroline Bingley… Miss Blips
Mr. Darcy… the Ghost Who Walks in Stripey Pants
Mrs. Hill… Helga the Horrible
Mr. Hill… Hagar the Horrible
Mr. Wickham… Rex Morgan
Mr. Collins… Mark Trail
Lady Catherine de Bourg… Mary Worth
Miss de Bourg… Adrian Cory
Rosings Governess… June Morgan
Colonel Fitzwilliam… Sam Driver
Mrs. Gardiner… Florrie Capp
Mr. Gardiner… Andy Capp
Mrs. Reynolds… Abbey Spencer
Georgiana Darcy… Neddy Spencer
True Fable
April 17th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
#146 Dingo – Ha! I especially like Mary Worth as Lady Catherine, that’s classic. Using the Capps as the Gardiners is inspired.
Muffaroo
April 17th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
CrunchyFrog @134 – Well, it would explain why June is so anxious to get the little pain into the water. Do you suppose she runs on a nuclear battery?
Danny Lilithborne
April 17th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I laughed at “Beetle Bailey”!
Steve
April 17th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Phantom: As much as I love the Ghost who Walks, the only reason why the oil platforms in the Gulf of Mexico where he is now dropping of the Croccos from two story arcs ago are abandoned is due to a combination of damage from Hurricane Katrina and low oil prices that make repair uneconomical. Once oil prices get above a certain point, production will resume again. So Phantom is basically doing the equivalent of settling wildlife in a store which is empty temporarily between tenants . . . .
Dave
April 17th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
#129 and #131:
Yes, in Alexander’s piece, the Editors come of a bit aggitated.
I think they were done with the decision a month ago, when they decided to axe the Judge and five other strips.
They thought they had “carefully” deliberated and looked at the “research”. Meanwhile, none of them probably even read the comics, much less Judge Parker. But, because their “research” said that those were the least read strips, off with their heads.
Not so fast my friends……
Thanks again, fellow CC’ers!!!
Poteet
April 18th, 2009 at 12:50 am
4/18 MW — Every so often this strip gives me a single panel that makes up for weeks of suffering. I fall on my knees in gratitude for Panel Two. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Poteet
April 18th, 2009 at 12:55 am
# 150 Steve — Yeah.
Also, I seem to recall that the basic problem has not been solved, to whit, that the Croccos are (somehow) steadily increasing their population beyond the ability of Crocco Island to support it. Presumably that will continue at both Crocco Island and the oil platforms, so the Ghost Who Saunters may have to find yet more homes for them later on. I’d suggest that they find some way of adjusting their population to fit their available habitat(s), except that as a human being, I’m in no position to talk.
Poteet
April 18th, 2009 at 12:57 am
# 146 Dingo — Rex Morgan as Mr. Wickham? That should be good for a nightmare or two.
CCMars, secretly Baroness Garnier Vistula
April 18th, 2009 at 1:18 am
@44: HAIL, ILPALAZZO!
3-G: It really is better if you don’t ask, professor. The details will make your ears bleed (literally and figuratively).
Foob: John is a dick. Film at 11.
FW: “And watch out for Susan.”
Rose is Rose: The husband’s umpteenth reminder that the world doesn’t stop for the freakishly happy drama queens continues to be the rotten apple in the diabetes-filled cider of his world. Life is cruel, isn’t it?
Rachel
April 18th, 2009 at 1:29 am
Oh my God, Mary Worth- “He even calls me ‘Queenie!’ ”
Good call!
Lord Vetinari
April 18th, 2009 at 1:36 am
146 Dingo: bu..bu… but that would mean a pairing of Margo and Stripey-butt, which would be… interesting. *gulp* very interesting. good god what strange mental images… tommie as jane is perfect, however.
Steve
April 18th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Re: Shoe – OK, so the guy painted himself into a corner when he went with birds as characters. Sure, some jokes will seem oddly incongruous if the reader thinks about it too much. Of course, I’d have less trouble defending this one if it were a better joke. I’m just saying that if it were funny, you could justify the biological incongruity. Or something.
dtyler99
April 18th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
You realize, of course, that Molly Kinsella was named after Ray Kinsella, the Kevin Costner character in Field of Dreams. In the world of Milford, Molly is his daughter by Ray’s second marriage. After all those people forked over twenty bucks apiece to see ghosts play baseball, Ray dumped his commie-pinko wife, moved to Bel Air, and dated blonde bimbos – until he found one he could “go the distance” with, if you know what I mean… and I think you do.
Blinky the WOnder Wombat
April 18th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Actually, our local St. Mark’s High School has the Spartan as it’s mascot.
http://www.stmarkshs.net/podium/default.aspx?t=17839
I’m still not sure if this an obscure shout out or a freaky coincidence.