The Comics Curmudgeon

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Forbidden garage sale FANTASIES

Family Circus, 5/25/09

As several faithful readers have pointed out, this epic two-week “The Family Circus family sells off their household belongings in order to feed their litter of children” plot is a rerun from decades past, though I hadn’t seen it before. I’m pretty sure I’d have remembered it if I had, because I’m pretty sure this is the first time that I’ve seen some sexy interloper put the Keane’s rock-solid and extremely fecund marriage in jeopardy. I’d make some crack about “pole dancing,” but this blonde bombshell looks less like a stripper and more like some kind of pretty princess doll magically brought to life, which to my mind is much, much creepier.

Dick Tracy, 5/25/09

You know what separates Dick Tracy from your run-of-the-mill out-of-control cop who operates above the law and kills perps, suspected perps, and those standing in close proximity to suspected perps with impunity? It’s his philosophical turn of mind. For instance, if someone had asked me what did in the Queen of Diamonds, I’d have said that it was some combination of suffocation and massive third-degree burns all over her body after she fell into a smokestack. But Tracy is never satisfied with proximate causes, and is always looking for the deeper origins of events. I suppose that’s what makes him such a great detective — that and his propensity for violence and lack of a shred of human empathy.

By the way, I offer half-hearted kudos for linking that Queen of Diamonds plot to the current One-Eyed Jack storyline. I’m relieved to learn that, though the tendency for criminals to run around dressed as playing cards is rampant in the Dick Tracy universe, it appears to be limited to a single family.

Spider-Man, 5/25/09

I knew that the recent Wolverine flick didn’t perform at the box office as well as had been hoped, but does he really merit banishment to the Spider-Man newspaper strip? That seems like an extreme punishment.

Apartment 3-G, 5/25/09

“Wait, you want me to help you make a decision? Gary, don’t you know who I am? I’m Tommie Thompson! I don’t decide things; I just let events happen to me, then I whine about it. Here, I’m going to close my eyes until you’ve decided whether to move to Denver or not. Then I’m going to sigh endlessly.”

This entry was posted on Monday, May 25, 2009 at 11:39 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Dick Tracy, Family Circus, Spider-Man.

110 responses to “Forbidden garage sale FANTASIES”

Gblizard
May 25th, 2009 at 11:43 am [Reply]

Look at the last panel of Spider Man. “True Believer.”

I think that shows what we already knew. Only one person cares enough about Spider Man to send letters, and he sends a ton of letters.
Calico
May 25th, 2009 at 11:43 am [Reply]

“Pretty Princess Doll” ™
So which mail-order Co. did Dad Keane use?
Steve S
May 25th, 2009 at 11:46 am [Reply]

Mr. Keane clearly wouldn’t be interested in the blonde interloper. She doesn’t have child-bearing hips. In fact, she doesn’t seem to have hips at all.
Baka Gaijin
May 25th, 2009 at 11:46 am [Reply]

Rose is Rose: Go on, Clem! Drench their rainbows and Lucky Charms!

Cathy: If I could foresee the future, why did it have to be this instead of the winning lottery numbers?

Cathy, part 2: Is this some sort of weird Fight Club thing? The first rule of the dressing room is that we don’t discuss the dressing room…
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 25th, 2009 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Aw, man. Post-jumped. Check out my 140-character-limited Twitter-based snark yesterthread.
Jamus The Bartender
May 25th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Spider-Man/FC: And you know that Wolverine’s gonna be hitting on MJ incessantly, because THAT is really the thing he’s the best at what he does. Not healing or fighting. Hitting on other guy’s ladies. Sort of like the hot blonde….and she is hot, by the way…who is interested in Bil’s pole. And I don’t mean the lamp* drumshot*. See how I tied those together?
Sister Sestina
May 25th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

And what I find creepier about that pink piece of fondant is that stunted right arm of hers. I mean, it’s so short that when she swings her purse around to whack the FC paterfamilias in his cheeky face it won’t have nearly enough leverage to sting!
AceDiamond
May 25th, 2009 at 11:56 am [Reply]

DT: I’m amazed that the Dick Tracy-verse shares a common motif with Batman, in that they both have a family of criminals who dress up as playing cards.

The Sedentary Spiderman: Wow Stan Lee’s just going absolutely berserk on the newspaper version of the comic. Wonder if it’ll reach the point where one comic is just him punching Joe Quesada in the face for 3 panels.
buckyswife
May 25th, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Tommie can’t let Gary get away! What other man would be willing to coordinate his jackets to her hair color? Oh, wait–in their world, most of them.
Zach
May 25th, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Tommie has a new shirt, Gary has a new jacket and a tie. Is this like a movie where continuity mistakes are intentional to make the viewer uncomfortable? Frankly that would be overkill for 3-G.
Jeff
May 25th, 2009 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

FW: okay, first off I know I deserve annoyance for bothering to read this turd anyway…but what bug is up Batiuk’s ass about Cory? If he’s not robbing the “fight cancer” till, he’s cheating on a test, and always with the evil-slacker face. Why does Batiuk hate that character so much? I mean, the other characters he tortures, okay, but at least they’re ingratiating. Cory Winkerbean is just an utterly irredeemable asshole.

SM: Given how badly Marvel has overblown the character of Wolverine over the last 20 years I absolutely cannot wait to see Stan Lee put him in a cubicle eating a sandwich.
FE
May 25th, 2009 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

A3G: How is Tommie going to get out of this one without revealing her secret love for Margo? There’s no other reason for her to cling to her miserable life in New York.
Nate Fakes
May 25th, 2009 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

I thought it was a blow-up doll that the Circus was selling there. I guess that IS a real blond-bombshell!
tb4000
May 25th, 2009 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

S-M: Wolverine is in every fucking thing these days, I swear.
Angry Kem
May 25th, 2009 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

Perhaps Spidey and Wolverine will get into a fight! They can aggressively watch TV at each other for hours.
Captain Thunder
May 25th, 2009 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

FC: “Mommy! Daddy just sold the $10 pole lamp to that lady for $5!”

“Run over and tell her she can have my 25-cent Jeffy for free. In fact, I’ll pay her to take him.”
BigTed
May 25th, 2009 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Is it going to be the ferocious, ultra-masculine Wolverine, or the Wolverine who played the romantic lead in Australia and hosted the Tonys? Of course, given that she married the dullest-ever version of Spider-Man, it’s hard to tell which one Mary Jane would get hot over.
Uncle Lumpy
May 25th, 2009 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Next: Spider-Man vs. Wolverine in a giant superhero celebrity brood-off!
CBrachyrhynchos
May 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

That Spiderman strip encapsulates everything that is Marvel comics today. Not only do they retcon a retconned retcon, they add a short, drunk and hairy Wolverine to make it all better.
Lawyerbob
May 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

Spiderman: MJ sounds suspiciously like Peter’s pimp. Or maybe she needs servicing. What else could she mean by “Up and at ‘em” as she puts on the lipstick? “And lose the pyjamas, slave!”

Mark Trail: Whatever fell magic of the Lost Forest gives the power of speech balloons to the animals has now moved on to inanimate objects like Mark’s camera. Soon the very stones will arise to destroy all trace of these human interlopers.
Saluki
May 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

Luann: And so it begins. The epic battle between Gunther and Elwood. There hasn’t been this big a battle between weenies since Oscar Mayer and Ballpark.
SecretMargo
May 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man has just given in to any pretense toward artistic integrity, I see; its every narrative feature will be dictated henceforth by whosoever is invested enough to generate these “tons” of requests. So starting next week, I’m fully expecting Peter to perform very well playing a variety of video games, thus winning the admiration of MJ and Wolverine and various jocks from school who thought they were so cool but are really just losers. And then everyone hangs out at Denny’s and makes fun of the menu. And then Wolverine suggests that they make their own rules, so why not have ice cream for every meal of every day?
BigTed
May 25th, 2009 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

So hospitals have “hubs” in other cities, just like airlines? I suppose that means if you want to have hernia surgery in New York, first you have to go to Denver for an appendectomy — and hope you don’t get back late, only to discover the doctors have left without you.
Captain Thunder
May 25th, 2009 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

BigTed: Yeah, and your kidneys end up in St. Louis.
pccmdoc
May 25th, 2009 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

#21 Saluki…nice…would have been that much better if you had said “Armour”
Brick Bradford
May 25th, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

A3G: Move to Denver for a bright future with the man she loves, or stay with Margo. I think we know which Tommie will choose. No doubt she’ll opt for Margo’s greater masculinity.

MW: Is it just me or is Jeff having a flashback to his “experiment” in college, if you know what I mean (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Crankshaft: Geez, Cranky finally makes a positive, helpful suggestion and everybody acts like he’s threatened to poop in the punchbowl.
Harold
May 25th, 2009 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

“NEXT! Wolverine sits around Peter Parker’s apartment and watches TV! And drinks beer and smokes cigars! And taps M.J.’s ass!”
darwiniac
May 25th, 2009 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

FW: Water bottling is for losers who want to get caught. The real hip cheaters these days get a marker that almost exactly matches their flesh tone and write the answers on themselves. It’s how I pulled a B in physics. BTW it turns out I’m a Prismacolor “Deco peach.”

MC: D’awwww…

RMMD: Looks like June’s experiencing some shrinkage?
Cactus Berry
May 25th, 2009 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

You know this little “pole lamp” exchange is going to be running through Mr. Keane’s mind for hours, complete with stunning visual effects.

“Oh God, your blue polo shirt is making me so…hot…” whispered the blonde bombshell huskily, fingering Bill’s collar with her slender and dexterous fingers. “And your pole..oh!”

“Quick,” she panted, digging deeply through the purse she stole from an 11-year old girl at the flea market, “I’ve got a ten here somewhere…”

Bill grunted, and pulled her closer to him. “For you, baby,” he said gruffly, “Only $5.”

His deep, earth-shattering voice excited her more, sending her to a peak of ecstacy. Her body convulsed like someone going under electroconvulsive therapy, and her moist lips opened slightly.

Bill spun her, and pushed her roughly on the ping pong table (at least, that’s what it appeared to be), their hands all over each other, ripping off random pieces of clothing–

“Bill? Bill, Jeffy pissed his pants again. It’s your turn. Also, Dolly went in a rage about pole lamps. Killed the neighbor’s cat.”
Jeff
May 25th, 2009 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

Hmm, I wonder…Wolverine in Spider-Man, Elwood in Luann…short guys, pompadours, rural drawls…OMG, you think they’re the same guy?

#21: Saluki: the above does not bode well for Gunther. Unless…geeky, science whiz, overachiever with the ladies…holy crap, Gunther is Peter Parker!!
Roto13
May 25th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

One Eyed Jack already fired the gun yesterday, but apparently nobody seemed to notice. Also, he apparantly switches the gun he stole from the cop (who probably should have tackled him from behind yelling “Surprise!” by now anyway) for a completely different gun between panels 1 and 2. Dick Tracy apparently takes place in an alternate dimension where time and space are abstract concepts. Suddenly, those freaky mutant hands make a lot more sense.
Roto13
May 25th, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

Holy crap, I say “apparently” a lot. >_>
zooby
May 25th, 2009 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

I can’t believe how easy it is to suggest changes in Spider-Man! Just yesterday I said I wanted to see the writers make the narration box the main character of the strip! And today, that bright yellow box gets about the same amount of space as Peter! Tomorrow, I’m sure there will be some thrilling revelation about the cable being out. The next day, a recounting of Spidey going to the store for milk. The day after that a reminiscence of how Spidey wishes he hadn’t dreamed that big battle with Electro. By next week our friendly neighbourhood Yellow Box will be reporting the sad tale of Peter Parker’s suicidal plunge off a bridge! I can’t wait!
Sarah
May 25th, 2009 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

So… am I interpreting this correctly? B/c all I read of Spiderman is on this blog. The flashback lasted less than a week? And what was the point? This strip makes no sense.
Niall
May 25th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

Looking at panel 1 of Dick Tracy, it seems that Jack is pointing the gun to his immediate left, gun pointed sideways. Along the side where he has that giant shadow eating his face, where he can’t see. Smart move.

My Cage: oh, what a way to start the week, with a sweet ashley moment. :) And no, I don’t actually expect something to develop between those two, except maybe a little respect.
Niall
May 25th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Oh, and did I dream BC doing a reasonably humorous take on modern technology where the tech itself was not the punchline? Not only that, but it made a pointed jab at the precise use of this technology? I may have just been still high on chocolate fumes…
Lorne
May 25th, 2009 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

Joel wrote:

…this blonde bombshell looks less like a stripper and more like some kind of pretty princess doll magically brought to life…

Can’t it be both?
Ista
May 25th, 2009 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

Well, yeah. If I had a choice between Wolverine and Peter Parker, who kept confusing me with his aunt… Yeah, Wolverine wins.
Lorne
May 25th, 2009 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

A3G: “That’s right, Tommie. Our New York hospital has a network hub… in Denver… You’ve heard that Denver’s airport is a hub, right? Well, apparently it’s not just planes. Networks too! Holy crow. You really WILL believe anything, won’t you?”
Mars
May 25th, 2009 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

#8 Ace: Wonder if it’ll reach the point where one comic is just him punching Joe Quesada in the face for 3 panels.

That’d be sweet!

Whatever they do to Wolvie, they can’t do worse than Hugh Jackman, can they?
Calico
May 25th, 2009 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

#15 – Comment of the Week nom, oh yes.
Mike
May 25th, 2009 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

tb4000: These days?!! Wolverine has been in every freaking thing for years now. I really liked the character back in the 80s, but they pummelled him into the ground, I’m suprised he doesn’t have his own breakfast cereal by now.

Speaking of the 80’s how the heck is Crock still around. Are there really people out there that like it or find it funny?
Dragon of Life
May 25th, 2009 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

Tommie thinks she’s going to fulfill her lifelong fantasy of meeting the last dinosaur, who’s her friend and a whole lot more.
AnitaNomad
May 25th, 2009 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

I live in Denver. I was born and raised here. It’s a cute little city, with fascinating history, in view of the beautiful Rocky Mountains mountains. I love my city! Please, please, Apartment 3-G, don’t screw it up by sending Gary and Tommy here!
fishmorgjp
May 25th, 2009 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

Wow!!! Wolverine is coming! Gosh! WOLVERINE IS COMING!! Get him a towel.
CanuckDownSouth
May 25th, 2009 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

#38-Ista: Remember, Wolvie has something for redheads. But while he’s horned in on an established dating couple before, I don’t think he’d help break a marriage apart.

As for Marvel, I’m just waiting for them to forget that they de-retconned the retconned retcon and Electro comes back looking for his sandwich.
Angry Kem
May 25th, 2009 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

#42 Mike: I took your post as a challenge and attempted to find a Crock fan page online. I’m afraid I failed. “Crock fan page” (in quotation marks) garners no hits. “Crock fan club” and “Crock fan site” (in quotation marks) garner two hits each, but they have nothing to do with Crock. “Crock comic fan” (not in quotation marks) garners several irrelevant hits…plus this, which I’m pretty sure is the closest thing to an expression of love for Crock out there.
Ed
May 25th, 2009 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

“Spidey Does ‘Dallas’”? Why didn’t they just have him come upon MJ in the shower to complete the nonsense?
tb4000
May 25th, 2009 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

Stan The Man really may be moonlighting on Luann as someone mentioned earlier.

“This week, true believers, the mother of all battles! Elwood vs. Gunther….’nuff said!”
Zaq
May 25th, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

Hey, isn’t it Memorial Day or something? Anyway, Monday goodies…

C’shaft: Why am I utterly not surprised that they set up gray balloons for a party? Or that the party is inexplicably ruined?

MW: Is it intentional for Dr. Jeff to be this goddamn creepy? I mean, he’s even worse than he usually is. That’s saying something. At least we’re not having another “fragile… vulnerable… young” moment.

GT: So we have a nutshot, a joy-sucker, and the memory wipe thing from Men in Black. Standard fare for a Monday.

GF: Um, what? Is that a metaphor for something? Or a reference to something? Or… I don’t get it.

JP: Huh. Reasonable-looking ladies in Judge Parker. Nice to have a change from the enjoyable but nevertheless incessant parade of uberhot set-pieces. I say this without irony.

MC: Awwwwww.

DT: Just by giving a simple, firm command, Dick fully expects OEJ to hand over the gun, with which Dick will then shoot him. On the one hand, I’m reminded of Larry and Moe kidnapping Rusty by telling him to sit in a chair and not move, but on the other hand, this is Dick Tracy, so I almost expect it to work. I know it won’t work, because simply shooting him isn’t nearly gruesome enough, but nevertheless.
kitty
May 25th, 2009 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Can we go back to the aggravated assault of Mean Joe Kelly? Or can Lu Ann fall down a well? Or Margo do just about anything? A trip to the dentist or DMV or bagel shop or hell…seriously, anything she wants — see these shackles, baby, I’m your slave, so to speak. Because I am watching an IT specialist DTR with a 30 year-old nurse and it’s like watching a brick talk to a tree. Tommie’s the brick.
Muffaroo
May 25th, 2009 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

A3G – Gary misunderstood. They actually suggested he might want to go to Denver and steal hubcaps.

By the way, I’ll be flying into Denver on Thursday, as part of my cunning plan to visit family and friends in Fort Collins. I expect to be preoccupied at least some of that time.

Dbury – Love the different shots of the Executive Mansion. (I still say Obama should be represented by a Band-Aid.)

FBasset – “Just stop faffing about and get on with it!” Yes. This could be the second panel of just about any Fred Basset strip. Or the third, or the fourth.

GThorp – Points to Hawkins for having an actual Apple laptop. You don’t see many of those in comic strips — usually it’s a pear, a banana, a mango, a bunch of grapes, or a canned ham. In this climate, putting an apple on there is downright audacious.

MWorth – So, Sam and Jeff went to Riverdale High! Look closely at Archie from now on. They might still be there, driving a flivver, wearing their letterman sweater and raccoon coat. Jeff will be dancing the Charleston, and Sam will be singing through a megaphone.

Momma – Francis is slowly morphing into an Easter Island statue.

My Cage – Okay, freeze frame riiiight… here. There’s the exact moment Norm became interested in life again.

1BHappy – TMI. Way TMI.

Pluggers – Is there a civet cat plugger? Because I can think of a way they could save money and have real gourmet coffee. (And save $$$ on a knockoff of Chanel No. 5 while they’re at it.)

RwOrange – That is sort of how Mozart made Allegri’s “Miserere” available to the public. Listened to it, went home and wrote it down. JS Bach used to sneak out at night and copy music from (I think) his older brother.

Slylock – I was just going to say that birds don’t have teeth. I’m not in the micro-universe of the comic with a magnifying glass in my hand. All I see is a small object that could be a snickerdoodle, a wrapped condom, or the Hope diamond. Might as well say Slylock knows because he can see the DNA.

S-Man – I’d like to see them pit Comic Book Wolverine against Movie Wolverine. Must write letter.
Master Mahan
May 25th, 2009 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

It’s no surprise Dad is on the lookout for younger meat. Having four children does terrible things to a woman’s body even when the babies don’t have freakishly giant heads. Mom’s lady bits should be Bubble Yum by now.
True Fable
May 25th, 2009 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

Hugh Jackman should not have played Wolverine; he should have been Gambit. The current movie Gambit sucks ass. The character always struck me as more of a ladies’ man and all the women I know swoon and drool over Jackman.

Who would play Wolverine? I don’t know, but I should think someone who doesn’t look about to break into a song and dance would do. Josh Brolin maybe, I don’t care.

The comic strip version of Spidey should be played by Adam Sandler. He does whine well.
Patrick
May 25th, 2009 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

Hey guys, be nice to Tommie! She’s so upset that all the color has drained out of her…shirt.
Master Mahan
May 25th, 2009 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

This might be the motivation Tommie needs to finally finish her gender reassignment surgery.
Master Mahan
May 25th, 2009 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

Perhaps the next storyline will feature the King of Spades, who villainously attempts to sue for police brutality until Dick Tracy beats him to death with his own shovel.
Dingo
May 25th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Oy vey. Dr. Jeff Cory really is hoping for the Josman treatment. One can only wonder what happened between him and Sam back in high school. I’ve told this story on here before but… my best friend in high school and I messed around. He’s the first person I said “I love you” to other than family. I was his first, also. Everything was good until we finally had anal sex. He freaked, realizing that he might be gay. He met a girl one week later, married her, and had four kids. Twenty-three years later, we hooked up again. This time, he was more than willing to have sex and, this time, as the bottom. It ended because he was still married and had no plans to divorce. He’s since divorced and has a girlfriend.

Not to play Freud, but Dr. Jeff has some unresolved issues with Sam. Issues, it seems, that can only be absolved through the briny sweat of Sam’s son trickling down Cory’s back. Will the results be published in First Hand magazine or Penthouse Letters?
Dr. Weird
May 25th, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

48 Ed -

Showing Mary Jane in the shower would forgive a lot of the SM strip’s sins. One would hope that sequence stretched out over several weeks of explanations and Peter’s confusion.
Alan's Addiction
May 25th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

Of all the horribly dull, unimaginative events one could put in the comics page, a garage sale has to be in the top five. Even worse, if this is some sort of rerun from years past, you know that the Family Circus writers are at their limit. They might, conceivably, be forced to give up the banalities of exploring trips to the supermarket, or long car rides, or little league games, and delve into the horrific, mind-bending, dark secrets of the Keane Family Kult. Will it be revealed that they summoned Marmaduke the hell hound? Do they practice cannibalism as a way of life, or is it a special-occasions-only ritual? Will we finally discover why they have horrible, disgusting, melon-shaped heads? One can only hope.
I have one question for Dick Tracy: wasn’t that guy dead a few days ago? If so, then I wholeheartedly applaud this bizarre new direction of reviving corpses so that Dick Tracy can kill them a second time. After all, zombies make almost anything better, and I’ve been praying to see The Evil Dead series reenacted in the funny pages.
Yes, Spider-Man, just wait ’till Wolverine shows up! Then you can have a massive battle with unbelievably stupid dialog, then wake up to find out that you were, in fact, always single, and had a weird dream, and then… Wait a minute, is Spider-Man trapped in “The Matrix,” exploring the fine line between our perceptions and reality? No, because that would make too much sense. On to Wolverine, then waking up to find Spider-Man really was a single college student all along.
Today, history is being made in Apartment 3G. We will all remember where we were the day that Tommie was asked to be involved in a decision by a minor, generic-looking guy. Hopefully they’ll decide to show Margo’s true form soon.
rapid turtle
May 25th, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

I’d just like to point out that this week’s Cathy storyline was (sort of) predicted by an anonymous poster some four years ago: http://joshreads.com/?p=144. If the last part is happening now, how long until the proceeding events occur?
Jamus The Bartender
May 25th, 2009 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

37. It certainly can be both, but you may have to pay extra….
Tim O'Shenko
May 25th, 2009 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

MW: Geez, Dr. Jeff sure is obsessed with this Sam guy. Even his speech balloon can’t stop thinking about him.
Winky's Spleen
May 25th, 2009 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

Angry Kem #47 – Dude, Tumbleweeds rocks. Or at least, it did when I was twelve. I’m a little surprised it’s still around. But I can think of half a dozen strips the LA times carries I would be perfectly happy to see it replace.
Joe the Plugger
May 25th, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

9CL: Today’s punchline is two people kissing. Gee, this is new.
CBrachyrhynchos
May 25th, 2009 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

#46 or did they re-retcon the de-retcon in preparation for the rereretcon? Or is it retcons all the way down?

And at what point do they decide that Electro’s bologna wasn’t in keeping with the spirit of the swinging single Peter Parker and retcon it to be tuna salad?
NoahSnark
May 25th, 2009 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

Learn from this experience Dolly: flirt shamelessly with broken, middle-aged men and you will never pay full price for anything.
Bryan
May 25th, 2009 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

Awwwright, we finally get to see that Rose is Rose chick in a bikini. That’s good stuff.
8th Man Fan
May 25th, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

#64 Winky’s Spleen: Actually, Tumbleweeds isn’t around. Per Toonpedia: “After more than 40 years on the newspaper page…(Tom K.) Ryan retired. During December of 2007, he announced the end of one of the longest-running westerns in comics history. It was gone by the end of the year.”
spazmodeas
May 25th, 2009 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

I have to admit, if Peter Parker had woken up and discovered he was married to Wolverine, I might have had to start paying attention to this strip, just to see them explain that Peter had the proportional power-bottoming powers of a spider.
Joshua
May 25th, 2009 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

#34 Sarah: Actually, the Spider-Man retcon in which Peter was a college student living with Aunt May lasted in publication time from January 1 until it was ended this past weekend.
Sgt Saunders
May 25th, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Geez, did Dean Booth get a hold of that FC before it went to press? That dame’s got a rack of lamb going on.
Dolly: “Mommy, Daddy Mack is selling your dancin’ pole. What will you use next time Uncle Ups comes by?”
Anonymous
May 25th, 2009 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

Maybe it’s because I’m closer to Bil Keane’s age than to anyone else in the strip, but I think that Thel is way hotter than that young, blond strumpet. And with all those kids so close in age, Thel’s gotta do it like a race horse.
Black Drazon
May 25th, 2009 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

A lifetime of Family Circus fun times has robbed Jeff Keane of writing continuous storylines, but not the ability to steal from the past, without which he would certainly be out of a job.
8th Man Fan
May 25th, 2009 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

#47 Angry Kem re: Crock fans: Haven’t found any fan clubs yet, but I did run across a 2006 article on Crock’s creators on Fredericksburg.com. Warning: Ads that pop up at the hint of a nearby cursor and a back story that may make it harder to pick on the strip.

Besides that back story, turns out one of the co-creators passed away last year, so it looks like Bill Rechin is carrying on solo, now.

My sympathies, but, as far as I’m concerned, anyone who’s producing stuff like this is still fair game.
Niall
May 25th, 2009 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

I’ve saved the Albany Times-Union large print version of today’s My Cage. If I feel down, I can just look at it and feel better.

I realised the myriad details that just make this strip: the change in Ashley’s posture, mouth and eyebrows between panels 1 and 2, and especially her curled tail in panel 3.

If I were the ’shipping speculation type, I’d read all sorts of things about her particular hand-clasping in panel 2, talking of the breakup… but that’s not me. :)
White Rabbit
May 25th, 2009 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Maybe someone has reported this, but it bears repeating. To set up a handy single page to read all your comics, go to http://darkgate.net/comic/ and set up your list. And I do mean all, they even have Garfield Minus Garfield! Mary Worth! Right on down to stuff I never heard of and am scared to look at, like Jesus and Mo. That’s the Darkgate comic slurper, my friends and neighbors. I am not affiliated with it in any way.

And on another subject, GF, are Rob’s arms becoming progressively skinnier? I fear he’s a victim of that thing, where you don’t eat enough, what is it, alopecia? Anosmia? Anhedonia? No, wait, anorexia, that’s it!
Poteet
May 25th, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

FC — Wow, that’s the biggest pair of bazongas I’ve ever seen in FC. I could hardly tear my eyes away long enough to note the creepy little figurine in the lower left who appears to be picking her nose.

DT — Meanwhile, the local Iowa cop we met a few days ago is just standing around incompetently, listening to the snappy dialogue. Locher, I’m begging you. Set your next story in some other state.
Digger
May 25th, 2009 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Because somebody’s got to say it: “Is that a pole lamp in your hand or are you just happy to see me?”
Cool not Cold
May 25th, 2009 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

MT: Man, that is one big-ass camera Mark has. I mean, it’s as wide as his whole torso. Maybe he’s going to do a film for IMAX or something.
nerowolfgal
May 25th, 2009 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

I nominate #20 for quote of the week

Lawyerbob says:

“Mark Trail: Whatever fell magic of the Lost Forest gives the power of speech balloons to the animals has now moved on to inanimate objects like Mark’s camera. Soon the very stones will arise to destroy all trace of these human interlopers.”

Also I think that would be a GREAT ongoing plot, leading in a year or so, to a surreal Japanese type anime fever dream with occasional looming images of a giant Mark Trail punching facial hair while squirrels narrate.
Rotten Arsenal
May 25th, 2009 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

The Keane Family garage sale… who sells a doghouse at a garage sale? Did the dogs not use it? If they did use it, isn’t that like selling used underwear?

Oh wait… maybe that’s the “room” they built for Jeffy but he was never able to move in because those dang CPS people kept dropping by unannounced.
Harold
May 25th, 2009 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

Maybe Marvel can hire out Wolverine to make special guest appearances in all of the strips on the comics page?

He would bring a certain something to Apartment 3-G, Judge Parker, Rex Morgan, Blondie, and Family Circus. He would make short work of Dick Tracy’s Rogues’ Gallery and then be shot multiple times by Tracy (who would mistake him for a villain) and get to demonstrate his healing factor.
Sheila Sternwell
May 25th, 2009 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

Forgive me, but I find the little spidey face in the final panel of Spider-Man crazy adorable.
Uncle Balustrade
May 25th, 2009 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

FC: Why is the guy in the background hanging a mirror on the side of the garage? Things are about to get REALLY kinky!!!
Ukulele Ike
May 25th, 2009 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

#45: “WOLVERINE IS COMING!! Get him a towel.”

Nah, a Kleenex should do it.

Why do you think he’s so damn angry all the time?
mrbadmood
May 25th, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

Mr. Keane: I’d be glad to put this in your trunk, ma’am.
Fishies
May 25th, 2009 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

Is that pink doll picking it’s nose?
zerowolf
May 25th, 2009 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

Is there a food shortage forcing that woman behind Bil to subsist on licking coffee scum from cups at garage sales?
Braniff
May 25th, 2009 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

Was Spiderman a graduate of the University of Michigan (just like Wolverine)? “Hail to the victors valiant Hail to the conquering heroes. Hail, hail, hail, Michigan, the leaders we hail!!!
“Hail to the victors vailiant. Hail to the conquering heroes. Hail, hail, hail, Michigan, the champions of the west!!!!!”
Concrete Queen
May 25th, 2009 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

Spiderman reminds me of one of those 3am informercials. The ones where they keep throwing in more and more worthless junk in a desperate bid to part you from your cash while you’re sleep deprived. But wait! There’s more! Next week in Spiderman…Wolverine! And Superman! In Outer Space! And Aunt May’s in a coma! And MJ’s about to be run over by train! And an asteroid is on a collision course with Earth!
Chert the Chort
May 25th, 2009 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

The freak within me can die happy now that I have heard Dick Tracy utter the horribly filthy phrase, “now give me the gun, one-eye.”

Wow.
rachel
May 26th, 2009 at 1:09 am [Reply]

you know what’s fun to think about? 9 Chickweed Lane, except all the men are eunuchs. the strip would just be a staring contest between the grandma and the cat.
MaggieMarvel
May 26th, 2009 at 1:59 am [Reply]

Because Wolverine has to butt in on everything that Marvel produces in some way or another, until he absorbs it completely.

This may or may not improve the Spiderman strip.
BassBone
May 26th, 2009 at 2:10 am [Reply]

So wait a minute… Peter Parker is really Bob Newhart?
Talking Squirrel
May 26th, 2009 at 7:04 am [Reply]

93 rachel says: “you know what’s fun to think about? 9 Chickweed Lane, except all the men are eunuchs. the strip would just be a staring contest between the grandma and the cat.”

Done already. Garfield.
digamma
May 26th, 2009 at 7:53 am [Reply]

I seem to recall a Family Circus from the late 80s or early 90s in which the parents went out of town and Billy was writing the strip. He documented a scene in which Dolly was telling the babysitter about how Mommy got mad at Daddy for always looking at blondes.
mojo
May 26th, 2009 at 9:21 am [Reply]

So…having never once followed the strip, let’s see if I get this straight. The creators of Spider-Man decide to shake things up by making a big announcement and retroconning the strip back to the good ol’ days, when PP was merely a clueless misogynistic leech latched onto Aunt May’s withered teat. This move apparently served only to make the strip even MORE unpopular, so THEN they announce they’re shifting it back, AND—as if that’s not bad enough—they tell you (*barf!*) it was ALL a dream. Then they riffle through the “jump the shark” file and pull the “Exciting Celebrity Guest Star” card. How utterly cowardly! Oh, but wait—this is Spider-Man we’re talking about? How utterly par for the course!
DAS
May 26th, 2009 at 10:30 am [Reply]

A3G — why did Gary ask Tommie about the move? He should know by now that all decisions are to be made by Margo. Gary should have just asked Margo if he could move to Denver (and presumably take Tommie with him … although he might forget to do that if Margo doesn’t remind him) and eliminated the middle-woman.
Renman2000
May 26th, 2009 at 11:03 am [Reply]

I know that Dick Tracy has always been thinnly disguised gay porn, but “give me the gun, one-eye” is just too obvious.
Renman2000
May 26th, 2009 at 11:09 am [Reply]

The economy has hit the FC family hard. Even the dog’s house is up for sale. Hopefully, he was just evicted instead of being another casualty of their backyard pet cemetery.
Nathan
May 26th, 2009 at 11:36 am [Reply]

a3G: Note also that Gary and Tommie had time to change from the blue jacket and green shirt (respectively) that they were wearing when they began this conversation on the stoop. It’s like Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, but with stun guns and drug addiction — so like Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood, I guess…
Paul1963
May 26th, 2009 at 11:46 am [Reply]

Peter Parker, the Soporific Spider-Man: Yeah, just wait till Wolverine shows up!
SFX: Ding, dong.
[[Pete answers door. Logan, aka Wolverine, is there.]]
PETE: Hey, Logan. This is a surprise. What’s up?
LOGAN: Hey, Pete. I’m the best there is at what I do.
FOOTNOTE: Yes, True Believer, it’s none other than your favorite X-man, Wolverine!
[[Logan hands Pete a sheaf of papers. Pete looks like he's just been told he'll have to get off the couch to go fight somebody.]]
LOGAN: But my taxes aren’t what I do best. Can you help a fellow New Avenger out?
CAPTION: Next: Deductions!
Sarah
May 26th, 2009 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

I was pretty sure that Family Circus was a repeat when I saw that they wouldn’t take a check without a “bank guarantee card.” I am 28 and I have no clue in the world what that is. The saddest part is that it would have taken less than two seconds to photoshop that clause from the sentence and no one would have noticed. No one even cares enough about Family Circus to read them before they xerox them out of the collections and mail them to the distributor.
Pop Culture Gangster
May 26th, 2009 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

“True Believer”!?!? I do think that the evil geniuses at “Spider Man Comics Inc.” have tipped their hand a bit too much this time… their plan is to bore us into submission, then recruit us into a New World Order army.
Hogenmogen
May 26th, 2009 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

Tommie is in shock because the hospital named a hub after Bob Denver.

Or John Denver, whatever.
corinthian
May 26th, 2009 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

Given the pacing and action level of Spiderman, I’d say we’ll be waiting for Wolverine to show up for a good fortnight. And when he does it’ll probably be to fall asleep on Spiderman’s couch watching soap operas.
James
May 26th, 2009 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

Let’s all write in to the Spiderman strip, demanding en masse all sorts of insane plot twists, demanding as a large group wildly different premises for the strip on a monthly basis.
Until the authors finally give up on relying on reader demand and realize they must draw on their own creativity. Of which they have none. And the Spiderman strip collapses in on itself.
NightNoise
May 26th, 2009 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

Spiderman faces a new challenge:
airish
May 28th, 2009 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

Josh, I’m surprised you missed this homage to the Family Circus in one of the more disturbing comix, Lio: http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/lio/2009/05/24/

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