Playing catch-up
So I slacked off the whole weekend, going off “having fun” and “enjoying myself” instead of posting comics for your amusement. O the shame! And during such a wacky weekend for the serials, too. Here’s a quick recap, one panel at a time:
Tommie and Lu Ann showed off their synchronized head bobbling.
“Brick” House showed off his vocabulary.
Mimi let her cloaking device briefly disengage and showed off the steel hair and terrifying, alien visage that keeps her EON minions in line.
Dr. Jeff showed off his mastery of platitudes.
And Spider-Man showed off … well, I’m not really comfortable talking about what Spider-Man showed off.
Meanwhile, in da hood…
Curtis, 10/17/05
Holy cow, Curtis is getting interesting! First it gets rid of one side of the comics’ least interesting love triangle, then it takes on gun-fueled school violence! No doubt by the time you read this you’ll know who’s holding that gun, but right now I’m on tenterhooks. Is it Chutney? Gunk? Barry? Or just another kid who listened to a little too much “Fortyounce” or “Bullet-Wound,” which is going to result in a Valuable Lesson About Media Violence?
Oh, and speaking of boring love triangles and violence:
Luann, 10/17/05
Yeah, just visiting a pal … in the back seat of his moving car! Seriously, did Dirk just materialize behind Brad completely unbidden and announced? Am I missing something here? Is the Dirk storyline going to be resolved in the only way that will make it all worthwhile: with the revelation that “Dirk” is a figment of Brad’s imagination, a representation of his untrammeled, unrepressed id combined with his repressed homoerotic fantasies? A guy can dream, can’t he?
October 18th, 2005 at 12:42 am
Brad is to Edward Norton as Dirk is to Brad Pitt? Who’d a’ thunk! But then, as Roger Ebert reminds us, it is in fact all but impossible to actually hide from the driver of car by crouching in the back, unless the driver got in without looking at the car even slightly.
And it appears the EON is in fact, a cult! That’ll make things vaguely interesting for a strip or so.
Finally, judging from the relaxed and faintly amused expression on that guy’s face, it doesn’t look like Brick’ll be getting out of that locker too soon.
October 18th, 2005 at 12:49 am
Plus, I’ll be disappointed if, once Randy’s ensnared by EONites, they aren’t all wearing the same cable-knit blue turtleneck/red no-lapel jacket with white piping ensemble as ME-ME.
October 18th, 2005 at 1:08 am
For once I think you actually are missing something. Dirk was waiting in the back of Brad’s parked car. Brad hasn’t started driving yet.
October 18th, 2005 at 2:45 am
Josh, how dare you go out and have a life when the rest of us are left waiting for your wisdom. You have minions you must attend to now – the CC of EON, whatever that turns out to be. Cults are cool.
October 18th, 2005 at 5:34 am
Dr. Jeff and Meddlin Mary remind me of Scott Petersons’ boat for some reason..Looks like one of those creepy Easter Island Head guys made it to Gil Thorpes school,and Brad looks like that “Sluggo” puppet from the old Pee Wee Herman show.
October 18th, 2005 at 6:48 am
Friends, I think Mary and Jeff go out on his Mainline 36 and gasp–do it!
Cue up the Barry White!
October 18th, 2005 at 6:58 am
Jeff wears the expression of someone whose finally sick of Mary Worth’s platitudes in today’s second panel. Sure, it seems she’s insinuating that she’s got a thing for him, in fact to most normal people there’s even a pretty obvious double entendre about sexual appetite in there. However, we know as well as Jeff, that she’s just blowing smoke in his ear. Jeff’s obviously addressing the camera here, and he’s saying, Don’t worry folks, I lose again.
October 18th, 2005 at 7:17 am
Quote “And it appears the EON is in fact, a cult!” Why would a cult need a CEO?? Don’t they usually have a leader or a minister or something pseudo-religious like that?
October 18th, 2005 at 7:17 am
FYI, the Washington Post is publishing a ‘non-violent’ version of the past two ‘Curtis’ strips. Today’s is dated 10-18, so I don’t think it’s just an old strip.
October 18th, 2005 at 7:33 am
#7: My first thought on seeing Jeff’s expression was that the platitudes made him physically ill, despite his comment about his appetite being on fire. Substituting “stomach” for “appetite” would be more appropriate.
#9: If you look at the copyright date between the third and fourth panels, it says “2000″. When comics are re-run, they always change the date you see in the strip to the current date, but not the copyright date.
October 18th, 2005 at 7:47 am
At first, I wished I hadn’t seen Peter Parker standing there with his little Rhino exposed to everybody below. Then I wished that I hadn’t thought of how sometimes he’s drawn with half a Spiderman face and half a Peter Parker face. Then I wished I hadn’t thought of his sack being drawn the same way, with an oval Spidey face covering half of it. And now I wish I hadn’t written for posterity the fact that I gave even a moment’s thought to Spiderman’s sack. And I also regret using the word “sack.” I have a lot of regrets.
October 18th, 2005 at 7:48 am
Ah-HAH!
Curtis’s unexpected benefactor is an african american Brick House, who has snapped after being shoved in a locker one too many times.
I’ve always had mixed feelings about these Bernie Goetz-types who have had it up to *here* with being pushed around and bullied and finally snap.
For as many years as Curtis’s school system has been ignoring Derick and Onion’s tormenting little kids, I’m thinking it’s high time those two boys got a bit of daylight through them.
Or the school system. Or Derick and Onion’s parents.
But, no. This is going to turn into a gun violence/troubled child sermon, and it’s gonna be the little AABH who is going to have to be expelled and have mandatory counseling whilst D&O resume hitting Curtis up for lunch money and calling his mom fat.
October 18th, 2005 at 8:16 am
Bravo, Josh! Well played.
October 18th, 2005 at 8:18 am
Sunday’s Dilbert:
He HAD to be shopping at IKEA.
I has an almost identical experience there.
October 18th, 2005 at 8:21 am
Here we have more proof that “Curtis” is written by a 70-year old white man who has based all his knowledge of urban culture on 12-year old episodes of “ROC.”
#12: Who the hell is this “Onion” character you are referring to? Clearly, his name is “‘Onion’”, said with the same inflection as one uses to refer to “rap” music.
October 18th, 2005 at 8:25 am
Please. Please. Shoot Curtis.
October 18th, 2005 at 8:27 am
Quote “And it appears the EON is in fact, a cult!†Why would a cult need a CEO?? Don’t they usually have a leader or a minister or something pseudo-religious like that?
Having done contract work for one of the biggest cults out there (they use front companies to set up things so that businesses and others doing work for them don’t know who they are), they have accountants, CEOs, CIOs and all the like. They have piles of money and to be successful they have to manage it. Some even go into the marriage planning industry.
October 18th, 2005 at 8:38 am
Nom, would this happen to be the same cult a certain Mr.Cruise belongs too?
October 18th, 2005 at 8:40 am
I would answer that, but the agents of doom would descend upon me. That or I would have to listen to a debate on the state of mental health treatment in the United States.
October 18th, 2005 at 8:56 am
#12 – I’m sure you mean ‘…shoved in a CUBICLE one too many times…’.
I will again agree with the 70 year old white man opinion here. First our violent friend warps back to a blacksplotation film and refers to Curtis with the epithet, ‘brother man’, then he skips reels over to a Wild West feature and threatens to put ‘daylight through ‘em’. Sheesh, even ‘holmes’ and ‘a cap in their ass’ would be more likely.
October 18th, 2005 at 9:13 am
What the devil is Peter Parker doing running around in a hospital gown when he should be fight bin Laden?
October 18th, 2005 at 9:17 am
I believe some of us of the female persuasion were lamenting the lack of attractive men in the comics. Well, I submit to you Peter Parker in a hospital gown. It’s not great, but it seems the best they can do. Nice musculature, if you know what I mean…
October 18th, 2005 at 9:27 am
10.18.2005 – MW – Rife with sexual inuendo today.
Of point but BTW, I always thought inuendo would be a good name for a gay hip-hop band – maybe spell it In-U-End-Oh!
October 18th, 2005 at 9:30 am
Kaliflower, congratulations on COTW!
October 18th, 2005 at 9:51 am
it’s clear from that decontexted spidey panel that “peter” parker is about fifty feet tall. i don’t think he’ll be able to hide the goods from the man on the street for long at that altitude.
regarding brad’s situation in ‘luann’, a friend of mine was in exactly that fix a couple months back and got a bullet in the guts. no lie. three weeks in icu, recovering well. could that be where brad is headed?
and does the fight club comment from chawunky (#1) transfer to curtis’ ‘bullet-wound’ strip linked to above? am i remembering that movie correctly?
October 18th, 2005 at 9:55 am
Public humiliation, followed by eviction – how perfectly things work out in Lynn Johnston’s universe.
Sure, the Kelpfroths asked for it – but were the ceiling pounding/dishes rattling sounds that Mike and “Dee” had to put up with really that much worse than all the banging footsteps, bouncing balls, shrieking child-sounds and carnal thumpings the Kumfrocks were forced to endure?
October 18th, 2005 at 10:05 am
Thanks Zorba the Geek. It will invariably be the highlight of this week for me.
October 18th, 2005 at 10:55 am
re: #22
Thanks for the offer Maughta but I had already read #11. After reading Smitty’s contemplation of Spiderman’s ball sack (or sac?) I can never quite look at Peter Parker the same way again.
re: #26
I’m with you Rich, I have two small children and when I do the laundry in the basement it sounds like elephants are running around above me. It makes me wonder though, why are they so keen to stay there at all. I’d be trying to break that lease. Their landlord and their neighbors (the saints) hate them, it’s noisy, it doesn’t appear to be the Taj Mahal, is it the only place to rent in that town?
October 18th, 2005 at 11:07 am
OK, I know Mallard Fillmore RARELY makes sense, but I’m really confused by today’s strip.
“Congressional sources report that Senator Kennedy has agreed to vote to confirm Bush-appointee Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court…”
wait for the big punchline!
“…contingent on her promise to introduce him to Anna Nicole Smith.”
Can someone – anyone – explain why anyone would think this is funny?
October 18th, 2005 at 11:08 am
That Spiderman panel has got to be the worst-drawn comic panel I’ve ever seen. It looks kind of like his head is on backwards… and his arms are being controlled by some kind of robot. And, as a previous poster mentioned, the perspective is all screwy so it looks like he’s fifty feet tall.
October 18th, 2005 at 11:22 am
I know that big lips are all the rage now-a-days thanks to Angelina, but I think that Tommie’s go a little too far…. Has anyone noticed how much Tommie seems to resemble a blow-up doll lately?
October 18th, 2005 at 11:23 am
barrett (#29): You got me- Mallard Fillmore is about as unfunny as BC. I suppose it’s a dig at Kennedy’s womanizing, and the writer couldn’t think of a cleverer way to bring this up. But, who knows? BTW, kaliflower, kudos for being chosen COTW!
October 18th, 2005 at 11:32 am
Parker’s Peter is worried about flashing his front in public, but why isn’t he concerned about the rear view? Every hospital gown I’ve ever worn has been open-ended.
October 18th, 2005 at 11:41 am
Luann – Is Brad supposed to be a midget or something? Look how engulfed he is by the seats in his car. And he drives a junker too, not a huge SUV or anything.
October 18th, 2005 at 11:44 am
Beetle Bailey – so two of the alternatives to warfare are clowns and Santa Claus? Huh?
http://www.chron.com/content/chronicle/comics/archive/showComick.mpl?date=20051018&name=Beetle_Bailey
October 18th, 2005 at 12:11 pm
I thought that yellow, spikey-edged speech balloons were a comics conceit for the person on the other end of the phone, or the voice emanating from the radio/TV. But in Curtis, they appear as alarm indicators. When I saw they contained only the “!” (comics shorthand for “WTF?”) I just assumed their cellphones were ringing.
October 18th, 2005 at 12:17 pm
I just slogged through a whole month of Judge Parkers, on the Seattle Post comics site – yeah, I’d been avoiding it all this time.
So it looks like they might actually be doing something mildly subversive here. A slight dig at Scientology? (Hmm, his fiancee is named Mimi – same name as Tom Cruise’s first wife.) Perhaps even a comment on homophobia? (Old Wilfred Brimley tells Cruise/Randy that he needs a wife, because “it’s about perceptions.”)
And is Wilford – Horace Riley – running a competing cult? With a wife named Alpha, and a kid named Trinity?
I was sorry that the promised conversation between Randy and Sam Driver never took place. I was hoping to learn how to distinguish one from the other. (I guess it goes like this: Randy – hair combed up. Sam – hair combed down. And hairy chest.)
Also worthy of note: Oct. 5 – Shirley Partridge appearance, as the secretary!
Oct. 14 – The wedding involves taking the “Life Union Vow – or LUV!” (”Hey, the cult was founded in ‘68, cut us some slack!”) (In which the couples stand naked other than their smooth, flesh-colored crotchplates, hold flowers and exchange “Love Is…” quotations)
October 18th, 2005 at 12:19 pm
barrett (#29):
I think the logic is that Anne Nicole Smith married an old man, Kennedy is an old man and a womanizer — LOVE CONNECTION. Also, the Supreme Court is actually hearing a case about Anne Nicole Smith’s iherritence from said old man, so Miers would have an in (although she isn’t on the court right this moment, but maybe she could trade Roberts her Lunchables in exchange for the contact info).
October 18th, 2005 at 12:35 pm
I still love the way Dirk just popped up in the backseat. How long HAS he been there? The whole meal? While Brad was in the firehouse? What could have cause Dirk to expose himself in such a Spielberg-esque “Heeeere’s JOHNNY” fashion? Only time may tell.
-MB
October 18th, 2005 at 1:10 pm
Re #37:
Shirley Partridge. You nailed it, Rich.
October 18th, 2005 at 2:18 pm
Doc Jeff is a wealthy retired doctor with a large boat and a phat ride. Why doesn’t he just “buy” some sex rather than wasting his time with that old, meddling, splatitude spouting, ice cube biddy hag? The broken swans don’t mean Mary is ready to let go of her beloved Jack’s memory and do the nasty with Doc Jeff. It’s that old “all or nothing” thought pattern. He’d be way better off with Palmetta and Fistina.
October 18th, 2005 at 2:43 pm
barrett (#29):
Another related possibility is that both Anna Nicole and Harriet (see, we’re all on first-name basis down here in Texas, ’specially with the wimmenfolk) are both from Texas, and to someone who is not from Texas, (like the spunky and incredibly risk-taking “author” of M*ll*rd F*llm*or*), we ALL KNOW EACH OTHER (’specially the wimmenfolk).
I have to say that I never. Ever. Ever. thought I would be trying to ’splain The Strip Which Must Not Be Named.
Re: LuAnn (the Brad/Dirk situation): Dirk gives me twice the creeps when he’s not being violent. Ever see the last twenty minutes of the movie “Se7en”? Yow … this doesn’t look good; time for Brad to pull out that .22 Baretta he’s been carrying in the ankle holster for the last three months. I don’t care if Q thinks it’s a ladies’ gun it’d settle the Dirkmeister’s hash purty good purty quick.
Moto “we all talk that way and like guns down here in Texas” Mike
October 18th, 2005 at 2:56 pm
#29, #42, etc.:
My theory on the hilarity of MF is that it appears that Kennedy is being honorable and non-partisan and all in confirming a Republican woman for the post, but it turns out he’s just using it to try to hook up with Anna Nicole.
Just a wild guess.
October 18th, 2005 at 3:25 pm
#5: There’s also a creepy Easter Island head guy in Sally Forth.
BTW: OK, it was settled today – “Kenya” in Gil Thorp is definitely a woman. At least today he is.
October 18th, 2005 at 3:31 pm
Death to Mallard Fillmore. Death, I say.
Isatollah proclaims a FATWA on MF!
Not so much because it’s right wingnut drivel—I could take that—but because IT’S JUST NOT FUNNY!
Even the unspeakable [Death to] Gil Thorp is better than this tired, hackneyed and completely unoriginal dreck. This strip couldn’t beat a laugh out of a rotting corpse. It’s only there because it’s PC in someone’s world. It has all of the ugliness and pomposity of the inside of Dick Cheney’s disease- ridden brain.
When Ces’ Medium Large can’t pick up a dead tree edition because this crapolla takes up a slot on the funny pages, you know it’s the decline and ultimate crash and burn of western culture.
FATWA! FATWA! FATWA!
October 18th, 2005 at 3:51 pm
Darn..I was hoping it was Eric Harris or Dylan Klebold holding the pistol in “Curtis” that would liven things up a bit.
October 18th, 2005 at 3:51 pm
RE #42 & Luann: I’m with MotoMike here [though not quite as homicidal]. Dirk needs a real good beat down. Maybe Brad can’t do it himself, but he and Toni work for the fire department, right? I can’t personally speak for hose jockeys, but I know it’s a pretty tight brotherhood, ie: you don’t mess with one of them, you mess with all of them.
If Brad and Toni were cops, ol’ Dirk would get taken downtown “the long way” [and would probably "hit his head" while getting into the squad car]. Disclaimer: Not that I condone such things, mind you, and I’ve never personally participated in such unethical and illegal activities.
Mary Worth: It’s been said more eloquently before now, but the platitude foreplay and innuendo is making me ill. I’ll bet your “appetite” is on fire, Dr. Cory. Sadly, you’ll never get a chance to sample Mary’s “abalone.” [Though we all get a daily dose of her baloney, and we certainly didn't ask for any.]
Pickles: I personally wouldn’t mind if Sylvia googled me.
And finally, I’m not a big fan of Zippy the Pinhead [though I like the art], but I did laugh at today’s strip [and enjoyed seeing long-forgotten Reddy Kilowatt].
October 18th, 2005 at 3:56 pm
I think we should pluck and clean Mallard Fillmore and cook him with a nice cherry-honey-brandy glaze, or with an orange sauce. He might be a bit gamey, though.
October 18th, 2005 at 4:04 pm
#47. I was thinking the same.
“My appetite is on fire!!”
Then he thinks “So is something in my trousers.”
She says “Enthusiam shows a cheery outlook on life.”
Then she places her hand on his chest. Now he thinks:
“If only i could place my hand on you in the same place.”
October 18th, 2005 at 4:13 pm
re: #47
Speaking for one “hose jockey” and knowing many others I really don’t think Brad would survive the tight brotherhood of the firehouse let alone have to worry about outside forces. I mean, “GEEZ!”
October 18th, 2005 at 4:14 pm
Re:#48 and Evil Duck
For some reason the phrases “fava beans” and “a nice Chianti” keep springing unbidden into my head.
Thank you, Clarice.
October 18th, 2005 at 4:35 pm
I just like how Curtis’s tormentor Derrick is still wearing a hairstyle that was last fashionable among young black kids about 15 years ago.
October 18th, 2005 at 4:56 pm
MotoMike, no Chianti with duck a l’orange! Horrors! A nice Riesling or Zinfandel would be much better. You might be able to get away with a Chianti for a savory roast duck, but a Cabernet would probably be preferred. No fava beans with orange duck, either. (The Chianti would be much better paired with venison. Know any comic deer we could off?)
October 18th, 2005 at 5:05 pm
Check out the quotation I just found:
Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.
H. L. Mencken (1880 – 1956)
I love H.L. Mencken.
October 18th, 2005 at 5:35 pm
Platitude recitation is the stall tactic in Mary Worth, much like two weeks of Mtgwaki powwow or pet facts. Think of it as a bridge between episodes.
btw: Wouldn’t “Onions” be good with that duck?
October 18th, 2005 at 5:36 pm
Mary should have dated him while he was alive.
They probably would have said platitudes to each other during everything…
Everything…
October 18th, 2005 at 5:49 pm
Sassy, carmelized “Onions” would be very good with duck.
October 18th, 2005 at 6:02 pm
#41 Sassy_Rocks: “Doc Jeff is a wealthy retired doctor with a large boat and a phat ride. Why doesn’t he just “buy†some sex rather than wasting his time with that old, meddling, splatitude spouting, ice cube biddy hag?”
Answer: He’s waiting for Harriet Miers to introduce him to Anna Nicole Smith.
And mentioning that strip makes me think that it might be an interesting exercise to create “Mil-ford Fillmore.” Every day he would string three sentences together randomly. Hmm, maybe I’ll see if I can come up with something, but others with better Photoshop skills are more than welcome to take the idea and run with it.
October 18th, 2005 at 6:19 pm
Ted Kennedy is go-to liberal cheap shot joke of choice for the duck. I think Teddy is rich and well connected enough to get a private meeting with Anna without the help of a 60 year old spinster lawyer.
October 18th, 2005 at 11:25 pm
Luann: OK, it’s Tuesday and Brad *still* is sitting in the extremely vulnerable back-to-Dirk position in the driver’s seat of the car, wearing his seat belt to boot, like scary obsessed people pop up in his backseat every day. I don’t think he hid back there just to say ‘hi’ to you dude. Get the hell out of the car!
Or skip the lame jokes and cut to the latest Brad beatdown. Whichever.
October 18th, 2005 at 11:30 pm
Okay, I had some free time and did a little Photoshopping. May I present, Mil-ford Gilmore:
http://members.cox.net/blogpicsaddy/gilmore.html
For those who don’t read DTGT, all dialogue is taken from actual DTGT strips. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!
October 19th, 2005 at 8:26 am
Re #53:
Maybe if Ellie had hit a deer instead of falling asleep that night the whole Patterson clan would be dining on venison …
October 19th, 2005 at 8:37 am
Re #8, cults ‘n’ CEOs: Amway anyone? But given the near-idolatrous regard in which “business” and CEOs are held among some folks these days, it would make sense that a cult would organize itself as a “business” rather than on the more traditional religious model. I mean, google the phrase “Jesus is my CEO”… Not that I’d imagine anyone’s making sociological commentary in a lame-ass soap-opera comic strip…
October 19th, 2005 at 9:15 am
61: Dub, those are pretty funny. I liked “large and thuglike” applying to Anna Nicole’s assets. The overall effect was Zippyesque – and more lucid than the usual Mallards.
October 19th, 2005 at 11:35 am
Thanks, Rich. I may do some more, as it was a fun exercise. It reminded me of Zippy, too.
October 19th, 2005 at 12:54 pm
Okay, is there something wrong with the way Doc Jeff is trying to wriggle out of his jacket today, or is it just me? What is his hand doing THERE?
October 19th, 2005 at 5:06 pm
What’s with the yuk yuk sound effect in the Curtis?
October 20th, 2005 at 2:54 am
The “Luann” above is a TV-themed pretend game: Dirk is Aaron Eccols (sp?), and Brad is Veronica Mars; acting out last season’s finale.
October 20th, 2005 at 10:18 am
66 – Good catch, Lisa! Doc Jeff has 3 arms! Apparently Mary Worth is now taking a sci-fi turn…it would go a long way toward explaining why The Alien Formerly Known as “Jeff” would be wasting time courting this horrible biddy. (Instead of “Take me to your leader” it’s “Take me to your biggest meddler”.)
(Are there many of us who make a habit of glancing back at old threads like this, to see if the number of postings has changed? Hmm…wonder if the mega-post is still at 1052?)
October 20th, 2005 at 10:26 am
Actually, I meant 1053. Lor supplied the perfect coda to that one.
October 20th, 2005 at 12:01 pm
Re #67 (Hysterical Woman): It’s not “yuk yuk,” it’s “yak yak.” And it’s apparently being emitted by the wiggling, bulgy forehead of the young extortionist. Not that that clears anything up.
October 23rd, 2005 at 8:28 am
The only thing that makes that panel from Apartment 3-G even better is imagining the song “What Is Love” playing in the background.
-MB
October 24th, 2005 at 5:47 pm
Please tell me that there was some public backlash beyond this site regarding the whole Curtis-firearm incident. I’d be very disillusioned if there weren’t at least a few letters from parents condemning that one!
October 28th, 2005 at 2:50 pm
You dream about homoerotic fantasies? Does your wife know about this? Does this mean if you get mugged you’ll feel an unnatural attraction towards the mugger and want to visit him in prison?
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