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A farewell to covered arms (and necks)

Apartment 3-G, 9/8/10

Makeover victim #1, revealed! Margo’s here and she’s, eh, not actively laughable. Still, this seems like it might be kind of overcompensation: Kat has reacted to Margo’s penchant for turtlenecks by forcing her to wear the exact opposite of a turtleneck, a dress with a top that’s as low as possible while maintaining a G rating. Margo might enjoy all the admiration her shoulders are getting now, but wait until she finds out that every single item in her remade wardrobe will be strapless, including her new collection of business casual tube tops and her winter coats.

Gil Thorp, 9/8/10

This week Gil Thorp has been very busy telegraphing the fall plot: it will be about Troubled Foster Kid Cody Exner! Gil had a life-changing conversation with Cody’s current foster mom yesterday, in which he learned that adults cannot remain in the foster care system indefinitely. This puts a crimp in his plan to find a foster family who will care for him so he can quit his job and drink full time.

In panel three, we see that the takeaway from the plot will be that foster kids are angry and violent — at least before they get some good, solid half-assed coaching from Gil Thorp. Cody will come around and be ready for adulthood by his 18th birthday, even though a few Mudlark teammates may be maimed in the process.

Dennis the Menace, 9/8/10

I was going to make some kind of distasteful “Dennis is a pimp” joke here before I was brought up short with horror at the faces of the little girls on either side of him. They’re a degree or two less cartoonish that the other children — could they be an attempt to represent two actual specific kids? — which only makes them that much more unsettling, in no small part because the more lifelike faces draw attention to their freakishly knobbly legs.

To distract yourself from this horror, consider the fact that Mr. Wilson is such a classic cartoon character that his face isn’t needed to establish presence in the scene, just his iconic gut.

Luann, 9/8/10

Hey, everyone, Dirk’s back, and the power of Christ compels you to like him! I’ve been ignoring him thus far this week, but I feel he earned a spot in this blog by treating Mrs. DeGroot like some sort of stalking-fun-killing vampire.

224 responses to “A farewell to covered arms (and necks)”

  1. Peter S. Conrad
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    These girls look like maybe they’re the cartoonist’s nieces or something. Why else make them so “uncanny valley?”

  2. McPerson
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Yes Cody, leave crushing the redshirts to the Klingon’s. That’s their job. Also, in that case you may want to change your jersey.

  3. Rana
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Margo’s new dress is awfully… furry… isn’t it? Did she roll in a pile of hair or something?

  4. Darkefang
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    I’d always assumed that Frank Bolle just couldn’t draw necks – or anything below the chin, for that matter – kind of like how Dick Locher can’t draw hands. Now we know he can draw necks, at least. So he’s lazy, not incompetent. That’s better, I guess.

  5. Darkefang
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @Rana (#3):

    “Margo’s new dress is awfully… furry… isn’t it? Did she roll in a pile of hair or something?”

    You’re right, Margo’s top looks a lot like something you might see on Ru Paul’s Drag Race.

  6. fnord3125
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    Yay! Dirk is back! Three cheers for Dirk, everybody!

  7. dodoman1
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    I think this religious transformation is actually going to make me like Dirk less. What could have possibly compelled him to decide not to hit Brad? Some force far greater than the power of Christ, I’d imagine.

  8. Ron Hogan
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    Those two girls on either side of Dennis: It’s like they’ve been working in a strip by semi-underground cartoonist Rick Geary and are slowly shifting back to a traditional funny pages look.

  9. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (Y310): I would SO sleep with Honey Rabbit.
    Amen, brother.

    And I pray that Dirk remembered his garlic. Wait, he’s got a garbage truck, there’s gotta be some discarded pizza in there. And as anyone who watched The Monster Squad knows, that’ll do in a pinch.

  10. Patrick
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    Do you suppose this makeover show is some backhanded way to update the girls of Apartment 3G? If so, do you think they’ll eventually bring in a team of interior designers to paint over all the turquoise walls and replace the rotary phones? And then a genetic scientist to rearrange the DNA of all the men so they don’t look so freakishly alike?

  11. zerowolf
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    “Actually Kat I feel famished!”

  12. Digger
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    I haven’t followed Luann for very long, so I don’t know anything about Dirk. But if he’s planning to kill Brad, then I’m on board with Team Dirk.

  13. gnome de blog
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    The Return of Dirk is the most annoying thing to hit the comics since the Great Liz-Anthony trainwreck. If Greg Evans has ever done anything right is was Brad’s groping progress toward adulthood. Now, instead of his relationship with Toni sliding downhill into a normal sort of incompatibility we have the Return of Dirk. I suppose I should have seen it coming. He’s spent the last couple of years having Luann play Aaron Hill to Gunther’s Luann, with Quill as Tiffany.

    Obviously, Evans is out of ideas. He doesn’t know how to write about adults. It would be better if he turned Brad and Toni into Frank and Nancy and make the strip about Shannon. It would be like re-Foob, only slicker.

  14. anty a
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    So the dramatic change to Margo’s hair was to just let it out of the bun and comb it a little? Wow, nobody will recognize her.

  15. Jesse C
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    “once a foster kid turns 18, it’s not illegal to tape him showering”

  16. Rana
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @Darkefang (#5): If this were a spin-off of DragRace, it would explain a lot!

  17. gnome de blog
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    And another thing – Margo’s collarbones aren’t anywhere near as nice as June Morgan’s.

  18. Riff Chick
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    Margo, is that YOU??? @_@

    I’m willing to bet the Dennis the Menace twins are indeed two actual kids being drawn in the strip because their parents won some dopey contest, or know the cartoonist personally, or some shit. They’re too detailed. Everything on their faces is too well placed. Note the difference: Margaret’s hair has 2-3 lines defining its curly locks. Dennis’ eyebrows are in his bangs. Those kids’ faces are practically portraits.

    Nope, folks, 2 of these things are not like the others.

  19. Buck Ripsnort
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    The DtM cartoonist has been moonlighting as a sidewalk caricaturist and this is his way of sneaking in his unsold pieces.

    Snarker be not proud: Had to look up “caricaturist”. Actually, I had to write it in MS Word, spellcheck, and rewrite the word here.

  20. The Errant Arrow of Eros
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @Darkefang (#5) re: A3G: To me it looks like they painted her with tar and rolled her in flax.

    MW: You receive a bouquet of flowers and a note.
    >Look at bouquet.

    It’s nice enough, if you think gone-to-seed dandelions are nice.
    >Look at note.

    You stare blankly at the note until your eyes cross.
    >Read note.

    It’s a load of crap from that guy who never returned your calls.

  21. seismic-2
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    In A3G we see what Kat and Kitty have already done with Margo, and in DtM we see a preview of the new Tommie and Lu Ann, too.

  22. Stroker Ace
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Margo has been dipped in tar & feathered. ‘I feel ravishing’ = ‘I enjoy giving & receiving pain & humiliation’.

  23. Rhekarid
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Well I’ll be, Kat IS talented after all. She’s managed to turn Margo into a pretty foxy drag queen.

  24. Trey Le Parc
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Dirk brandishes his presumably new crucifix with his trash smeared glove. Evans, you’re not winning any points Up There.

  25. Taquelli
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    I’m going to assume that Mrs. Degroot comes charging out the front door every morning shouting at the mailman, “What do you know? What do you know!?” like a legitimate crazy, because that’s the only reason she’d assume that Dirk was stalking her by having a job as a garbageman.

  26. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Rana (#3):

    The outfit worn by Margo Magee in today’s A3G looks — and smells — familiar:

  27. Jamus The Bartender
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Tales Of Goldberg’s
    Scenes From A Small Town

    Violet Chihuahua And Jamus At The Park

    ” …don’t get me wrong, Vi….Sunny is adorable and all, and the ‘demon baby from hell’ thing is cute….but Stewie Griffin played that card for three seasons before he became a David Niven expy…next thing you know, inside of five years, she’ll be locked inside a bank vault with Norm Platypus asking him why he keeps a gun in his safe deposit box.”
    Ever since Cassandra’s meltdown, Jamus and Violet Chihuahua have taken to taking their children to the park most afternoons. Violet really doesn’t HAVE to work, and Jamus’ schedule has pretty much revolved around taking care of his daughter, and leaving the running of Goldberg’s Bar And Grill to Ashley Bengal.
    “Yeah, yeah…” Violet agreed. “So. Any word on when Crazy’s coming back?”
    Jamus shook his head. “I’m told she’s getting better. The doc has her on some kind of meds….but there’s still the issue of whether she’s a danger to Ennie..”
    “Or you.” Violet said pointedly.
    “Or me, yes.” Jamus agreed while prepping some formula for the baby.
    Violet didn’t know what to say. Warmth and consolation were not her strong points, and, she had to wonder just what the HECK she was doing here with Jamus in the first place. They had never “dated” in the strictest sense. Both had moved on. And it’s not like he was wanting for companionship. Ashley Bengal and Maureen Fox…on alternating nights, or when Gertie from Gasoline Alley was unavailable…would stop by the house to help with dinner and the baby.
    “Cheer up, buddy. It might not happen.” Violet said, trying to be cheery and giving Jamus a gentle punch on the arm.
    “Thanks, Violet.” Jamus said as he wheeled Enciente Cat home for another diaper change. The litter box did make things easier at home, Jamus thought to himself…..
    Dick Gets Called On The Carpet
    Chief Lizz Grove nee Worthington hit the little switch on the intercom system. “Tell Detective Tracy to get his skinny ass in here.”
    Dick sort of half walked, half stumbled in. Ever since the re-opening of Goldberg’s, the desk he kept at police headquarters was pretty much a formailty. He mostly worked out of the bar, whenever he worked at all. “Hiya, Liz. Listen, about that suspect in the interview room, he was bleeding when he came in…”
    ” Dick, please close the door, and sit down.” Liz murmured.
    Shit, Dick thought to himself. This must be about something else. He ran through all of his recent cases, they were all clean, and the bad guys got away with nothing less than the bloody deaths they deserved…all by the book.
    “This isn’t about one of your cases, Dick…at least, not strictly speaking.”
    Liz lit up a cigarette. “Tell me about the incident with Cassandra Cat two weeks ago.”
    Jesus Wept, Dick thought to himself. “Well….there was a domestic incident over at Jamus’…over at the Bartender slash Cat residence in Gasoline Alley…um, Cassandra left the house, went over to Slylock Fox’s place to look for….for something..”
    “Mmm hmm.” Liz nodded pointedly.
    “And….and Max Mouse and his wife…is it his wife, i’m not sure….or his girlfriend into it with Cass….she had something of a nervous breakdown….and now she’s up in…in Anchorage, Alaska with her Uncle Gar…”
    “Thank you, Dick, I get the picture.”
    Dick cleared his throat. ” Everyone involved declined to press charges.”
    “Which is the only reason I haven’t busted you down to traffic, Dick. Listen, we’ve known each other for years, and the political nature of the people involved, not to mention the fact that there’s a baby involved, is the only reason I haven’t put Cassandra Cat or her common law husband into the system…”
    ” I know that…”
    “But Ms. Mouse is making lots of noise. Talking about Cass being ‘a fit mother’.”
    “She just had a bad day, Liz.”
    “Seems she’s had a LOT of ‘bad days’, Dick. I mean, it was one thing when she’d come to visit that bartender every now and again, and Mr. Arbuckle would take responsibility in Alaska..”
    Dick took a deep breath, ” I am NOT going to Alaska again.”
    Liz lowered her voice. ” Dick. Calm down. Look…” Liz moved in a little closer, ” I don’t want these people hurt. Mister The Bartender seems like a good guy. And from what I hear, he’s doing pretty well with the baby…”
    “He’s doing GREAT!”
    “But…” Liz got up to open the office door, ” One more incident like two weeks ago, and i’m gonna have no choice but to put Cassandra into the system.”
    Dick croaked out a “yeah, yeah” and nodded.
    “That’ll be all, Dick.”
    Dick got up to leave, “Oh…question.”
    Liz looked up.
    ” What…if anything..did the Mayor have to say about this?”
    Liz knew what Dick was getting at. ” Her Honor Mary Worth was suprisingly mellow about the whole thing. She asked if Cassandra and the baby were okay, was there anything she could do to help…I think she even invited Jamus and the baby to dinner at her place. Salmon squares were had by all, I hear.”
    Dick let out a sigh of relief. ” So, no problems from that quarter, then.”
    Liz nodded. ” Not yet, no.”
    Dick left, making a beeline for his favorite barstool, and crawled into a bottle of grain alcohol for the better part of the evening, only stopping to use his nightstick on some big guy named Dirk who asked him if he wanted to hear some good news about The Lord.

  28. Uncle Lumpy
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Have we ruled out the possibility that Shannon is Dirk’s kid?

  29. Zla'od
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Please, please, puh-LEASE let this be the beginning of a “Cape Fear” style story in which Dirk makes sweet, sweet, grudge-love to Brad’s little sister. For that matter, I don’t think the judge ever said anything about not French-kissing Brad’s mother. Maybe that’s tomorrow…

    The cross is a nice touch, but couldn’t it have been a bunch of Bible tattoos? And instead of hiding from Mrs. DeGroot, couldn’t he have taunted her like Robert DeNiro? That Dirk’s conversion is insincere is shown by the fact that he lied–which no true Christian would ever do, even when caught in awkward social situations.

    And the crowd cried out in it’s frenzy: Rape! Rape! Rape!

    A very important lesson! A very important lesson! A very important lesson!

    Crucify him! Crucify him!

  30. Bintie
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    I believe Dennis’s new hos are actually Full House-era Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

    Heaven help me, I just googled “Mary-Kate and Ashley.” It was only to check the spelling of Olsen, I swear.

  31. AeroSquid
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    DtM: The Olson Twins ? A little late, but….okay….I guess.

  32. Joe Blevins
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I Dressed in the Dark certainly is avant garde. I, for one, never would have thought of painting Margo’s torso with honey and then giving her a “corset” of live, buzzing flies.

  33. AeroSquid
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    Olsen…….I googled the Olson Twins and found a horrifying pic of two Norwegian dwarves playing accordion.

  34. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#31): Aerosquid? The Aerosquid? How did I miss your return?

  35. Jamus The Bartender
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    Oh…I have to ask…is a “Dirk 3:16 ” t-shirt out of the question from the CC store? Because I would get one.

  36. Violet
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    I appreciate the fact that of all the synonyms for “beautiful” Margo could have chosen to characterize herself, she selected the one most evocative of savage violence.

  37. Wally Ballou
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    Aprops of nothing at all, I note that Blondie turns 80 today.

    The strip, I mean. The character has to be past 100, I guess.

  38. Chance
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    HELPFUL EDIT: “This puts a crimp in his plan to find a foster family who will care for him so he can quit his job drink full time.”

    quit his job TO [or AND] drink…

  39. CanuckDownSouth
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    Too much grading tonight to check yesterthread, so apologies for any oversnark

    Minor what the? Wednesday:

    I’d reiterate a *why* is Kiesl supposed to be a fool when *Edie* didn’t come to Vienna as promised, but others have snarked that much better…

    Between Friends whatever happened to lipgloss as gateway / tween makeup? Eyeshadow that isn’t boring (and I say that as someone who likes a good “sand pearl”) is ridiculously easy to overdo (peacock blue sparkles, anyone?) while lipgloss has tons of interesting shades and if taken to ridiculous extremes, your lips are … shiny.

    Cranky whatever happened to the new woman being a reasonable person? iIdon’t recall her as clueless and this is … going to be beaten to death through Saturday, right?

    Thorp are there seriously people who haven’t been exposed to the articles / TV reports about the plight of “aged out” foster kids by now?

    Mark the Trail can someone with farm experience explain whether you would normally need an actual anvil for shoeing horses? I thought that was for a blacksmith making horseshoes, a textbook illustration of which is what the L side of panel 1 appears to be lifted from.

    OBH Why does he look like he’s about to hit Ruthie? That’s not excitement – that’s a classic bully-grab.

    Phantom After her tough-pirate-hunter buildup, Savarna had better be pulverizing the other 2 guys off-panel, or I’m going to be ticked at the Helpless Damsel trope.

    Spidey Why is Tony Stark breathlessly pointing out the stupendous ability of the computer to do … what we’ve seen on every cop show for over a decade?

  40. Dog
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who felt his blood run cold when Margo said “ravishing?” My years of watching monster movies tell me the horror that will now unfold, Margo will smile revealing two too long sharp teeth. Kat will scream and turn to run, but will be too slow, as Margo will pounce on her and sink her teeth deep into Kat’s neck, gorging herself on Kat’s sweet sweet blood. Naturally Margo will also keep the dress.

  41. Miss Othmar
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    Note to Baka Gaijin: You appear to have a kindred spirit in today’s Cul de Sac….

  42. Joe Blevins
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    DTM: This cartoon gives us a great opportunity to ponder the particular design aesthetic of Dennis the Menace. “Those girls look all wrong,” we think, “Where are their beady, pupil-less eyes? Where are their Twilight Zone, “Eye of the Beholder” pig snout noses? For the love of god, why are their eyebrows near their actual eyes?!?”

  43. AeroSquid
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    bourbon babe, unbuckled (#34): Slowly returning after hiatus. Prepare for much attention whoring and self aggrandizement ! =D

  44. Pere Ubu
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone else get a “Wonder Woman” vibe from new Margo?

    We haven’t seen the rest of her, and there’s still the possibility of feminium bracelets and a golden lasso.

  45. Darth Conans
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    For the record, I’m pretty sure that when Margo says “ravishing,” she means “ravaging.”

  46. cheech wizard
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    I’m not stalking, Mrs. DeGroot. Our whole universe is crammed into these three panels. There are no other routes! Where the fuck am I supposed to go? Tell me that, huh?

  47. Soccerhead
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    GT: Is that Charles Bloom, or did he graduate last year?
    So now it’s not a Gil Thorp football story unless one player is pummeling his own QB at practice.
    Last year it was Duncan Daley, now it’s Cody Exner. What’s going on here?

  48. AeroSquid
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Wait….was Margo just called a ‘Cow’ ?

  49. Aviatrix
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#39): A horse’s hoof doesn’t have the sort of squish to it that a human foot does, so while I can go shoe shopping and try on a few dozen pairs until one is the right size and shape (and cute enough) to meet my needs, a horseshoe has to be shaped in situ to fit the horse’s hoof exactly. This can be done cold or hot but either way an anvil is a useful for pounding it on to get it into the right shape. You can probably catch a shoeing demonstration at your local state fair–or Canadian equivalent.

  50. SamECircle
    September 8th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    The REAL A3-G plot: Margo Magee has been killed and replaced by a robot, a la stepford wives. Her head now rotates 180 degrees. ’nuff said.

  51. gnome de blog
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#39):
    MT: If you had removed a shoe that needed repairs you might need an anvil (and a forge) to fix it, or you might need to change the shoe a bit to make it fit properly.

    9CL: Because Brooke’s a chauvinist at heart. In his world women exist to be idolized. Kiesl kept a shrine to Edie for 55 years. Amos has Edda on a pedestal so tall he gets nosebleeds just looking up at her. Burkhardt wants Edda but can’t have her. All of the men in Juliette’s life are basically her thralls. It may appear that the women have all the power, but that isn’t actually the case. They are not active agents in their own lives. The men are expected to act, the women are only there to be acted on. It’s like a Disneyfied version of 12th Century Romantic poetry.

  52. mr 12 oz can
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    mark trail – cherry wishes she could look ravishing but she has to shoe the horses
    gil thorp- does this mean this cody guy will be the storyline up to june . gil says they cant kick him out to graduation . maybe he can get leftback so gil gets more sloppy joes.
    fred basset – my dog andy cant catch a bird either fred but hes real good with tennis balls . thats andy my labador not andy the st bernard
    mary worth- jenna dont you know those are the leftover flowers from lonnies funeral thats why he needed to see you so fast .

  53. Guy Neeto
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    I hope this Gil Thorp tale of the struggles of foster children does not entirely eclipse the sub-plot, wherein the Mudlarks cannot afford proper pants or leg and knee pads. How many red-shirted freshmen need to be broken before Coach Thorp acknowledges that the team khakis aren’t cutting it?

  54. mgm
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    Oh my god! Gil Thorp isn’t wearing a red shirt! It’s CRUSHING TIME!

  55. Helen Clark
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    Flowers? That dimwit doctor is trying to win her over with flowers? Cripes. Let me tell you something, “Doctor” Mike: Giving that girl an armful of (hic) dying plant matter won’t get you anywhere. I can tell you right now that the way into her heart—or her pants or wherever it is you’re trying to go—is straight from the neck of a bottle. Any real Lothario knows good and well that an evening of (hic) cocktails is likely to end up in the bedroom. So you’re a little tipsy when you get there? Just make sure she’s tipsier, and (hic) you can’t lose! Unless you start that candy-ass “poor me” business again. If that’s your inclination, well, Helen’s got nothing (hic) for you.

    I should start a goddam advice column. Who’s that busybody out in Santa Royale? I could out-advise that (hic) old Mary Worst biddy with one hand tied behind my back and the other holding a dry martini. Ha!

  56. Chyron HR
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @Chance (#38): Like many of us, Josh has already quit his job drink full time.

  57. Government Cheese
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    Luann: What’s not being let on here is that Dirk is actually Dirk “Diggler” of adult fame, and Toni worked at the nearby adult “theater”. No wonder their love child Shannon is always so pissed off.

  58. Scott Bot
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    @anty a (#14): Remember, this is the same philosphy behind Superman/Clark Kent.

    @Government Cheese (#57): This is why we never see Toni’s feet. She’s wearing roller skates.

  59. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#57): from all the bumping on the head while in utero?

  60. Another Kiwi
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    What is wrong with new Dirk’s mouth? Is that his lips together in the first panel? Then he talks with them glued shut when he does the “Get behind me, Satan” bit in panel 3. we’re not seeing some “Glued Up For Jesus” cult here, are we?

  61. bats :[
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    11. zerowolf: YAY! I so want something like this to happen…even if it’s just a Margo-patented tongue-lashing…

    Okay. There.

  62. Riff Chick
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#26): I actually chuckled at that BC strip. I think it’s kinda clever, and i like dry humor.

  63. Austria
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    BC: AHAHAHAHAHAHA THE TECHNOLOGY AMIRITE oh sweet mother of heaven make it stop *buries face in hands*

    Luann: Looks like Tommy got to Dirk. What I want to know is, where’s his tiny Bible? And his scrunchie? Look, kid, if you’re going to be a disciple of Tommy, you have to rock the scrunchie. No exceptions. A Hobohodo hat does not suffice.


    R=R: *must have. I can’t tell if this was done on purpose or not.

    Zits: Pierce once again proves himself to be the best character in this strip. If this is Pierce Week, I’m not complaining.

  64. Riff Chick
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @Violet (#36): Brava.

  65. Riff Chick
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Lordy, I hope Luann isn’t segueing into B.C. territory.

  66. ZaneTarlo
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    I like that Nancy reacts with little knowledge of the religious symbol. I would love it if Dirk put it to her head and exorcised the chaotic Toni-hating demons from her wretched soul.

  67. Nekrotzar
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    You can trust me, Mrs. DeGroot. I’m a new man. I’m riding the Crazy Train, see? Ba-Bum. Ba-Bum Ba-Bum. Ba-Bum. Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!


  68. Anonymous
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @Another Kiwi (#60): I don’t think we see his lips in the third panel. I think he’s doing the toothy/cheesy smile, a la TJ. Speaking of, we haven’t seen TJ in awhile.

  69. Scott Bot
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#68): You say that like it’s a bad thing.

  70. Larry Fine
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    S-M — “That’s Lionel Smith, a systems engineer I recently hired. Well, he can kiss his Christmas bonus goodbye this year!”

  71. tb4000
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I honestly suspect Dirk is the one that suggested that whole Quran burning debacle that’s going on now. I wouldn’t put it past that wear-a-wool-cap-in-summertime motherfucker.

  72. Government Cheese
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#58): @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#59):

    Furthermore, Brad would never pick up on this since he is so inexperienced, he hasn’t even seen himself naked.

  73. Walker of Dog
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Artistically, this makeover seems half-hearted. Leaving aside the fact that everything below the waist is still terra incognita, how is it that Margo is showing us her cleavage but not, you know, an actual cleft? Has she been stuffing those sweaters all these years? Or does she have the bosom equivalent of a unibrow?

  74. Marion Delgado
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    I’m not going to throw the first stone here, since Dirk’s reaction to Nancy DeGroot is identical to mine.

  75. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#67): hee!

    that trumps my implied Heavy Metal comment earlier today.

  76. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#73): Things below Margo’s waist are probably best left as terra incognita.

    Also, uniboob is a serious affliction affecting 85% of adult comics women, thought to be caused by exposure to prudish editors during puberty. A little respect, please.

  77. Scott Bot
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#72): Apparently Mama De Groot has. I mean, come on. ‘Toni Daytona?’ If that’s not a porn star name, I don’t know what is…

  78. Anonymous
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    Dennis may not be such a menace anymore, but damn, look at how he rolls with his creepy new girlfriends on each arm.

  79. This Guy
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#51): Was the nosebleed + looking up a woman’s skirt thing intentional?

  80. Uncle Lumpy
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    Note to Blondie, Dennis the Menace, and Gasoline Alley: Don’t put your friends and their kids into your comics! That is all.

  81. Brody
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    Pretty sure those little girls are part 1 of “The Shining: Dennis the Menace Edition.” Look for a crazed Mr. Wilson to chase Dennis with an axe in the coming weeks.

  82. Dood
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    “Margo enters with a twirl and … ” her head turns completely around as she tells Kat, “Your mother #@$% *@$% in hell!”

    Ah, well, one can wish.

  83. Dood
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    Hey, look at Gil, rocking Margo’s turtleneck!

  84. Larry Fine
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    FC — Dolly is emasculating Jeffy, who is carrying a doll. Kind of redundant if you ask me.

  85. Dood
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    Forget the foster care story. Why is Ig from Prince Valiant trying out for the Milford High School football team?

  86. Dan K.
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    The weird girl on the left in Dennis the Menace looks like she has her bathing suit ripped.

  87. Scott Bot
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#80): Methinks they do this to guarantee at least one person will read their strip that day.

  88. Fata Morgana
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    I admit it: despite all the ridiculousness of the storyline, I’m touched by today’s 9CL.

  89. Ukulele Ike
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    Phantom-Who-Likes-to-Impress-the-Chicks: Hey, Savarna! You’re not so tough without your rocket launcher, are ya?

  90. Izzy
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    Come play with us, Mr. Wilson…

  91. Alison
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    So LuAnn’s mom is voluntarily harassing a man whom she knows was/is an abusive stalker. Sounds like a good way to get murdered.

  92. cheech wizard
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#89): Maybe this is what she’s singing softly to herself:

  93. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#91): Let’s hope!

  94. Reed Hover of Dallas Texas
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @Darkefang (#4): A3G artist Frank Bolle is a competent comic artist. He was the go-to guy at Golden Key Comics back in the day. Still, he’s probably pissed that he has to draw clavicles and sternomastoids in his old age.

  95. Panic Bear
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    The unveiling of the Apartment 3-G makeovers: let the disappointment begin!

  96. Lisa
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    {I’d reiterate a *why* is Kiesl supposed to be a fool when *Edie* didn’t come to Vienna as promised}

    I think the received reason is that he is a fool because he didn’t convince her strongly to stay or go after her when she left. If she was all that damned captivating and sexy and he let her go, I call closet case.

  97. Bagelsan
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    Things below Margo’s waist are probably best left as terra incognita.

    “Here be dragons” indeed.

  98. Roman Fingers
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (y#295): If anybody could bring the storyboard to life, it’s you.

  99. Tim O'Shenko
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Dirk’s cross-flashing reminds me of that time in Mary Worth when Tommy the Tweaker converted to Christianity, and showed his devotion to Jesus by slapping his mother(?) with a Bible when she visited him in prison.

    And while I like Mrs. DeGroot’s deadpan response to Dirk here, I sincerely doubt this episode will achieve the hilarity of Mary Worth.

  100. Snelg
    September 8th, 2010 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    The bathing suit of the girl on the left looks like it’s ready to eat everyone in sight.

  101. Sequitur
    September 8th, 2010 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    Eh, don’t mind me. I’m just looking at Honey Rabbit.

  102. ElkMeadow
    September 8th, 2010 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#46):

    That’s the best answer I’ve read yet for anything on this site.

    As for Dennis the Menace, “real” kids have been in the panel before, always standing smiling and silent next to Dennis, creeping me out. They show up irregularly, two or three a year. These two are stand-outs, as they are twins. I”m not sure when they started showing up, but they’ve been around for a long time.

  103. AndyL
    September 8th, 2010 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth : “In the time it takes you to read this card, half of these flowers will mysteriously vanish. They represent my love for you.”

  104. Doug Puthoff
    September 8th, 2010 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    9-8 DTM: You’re right, Josh. Those girls are creepy–Charles Manson creepy. They remind me of Bean, that rabbit from Muppet Babies, who looked so f—-ing different from the rest of them, it was scary.

  105. Doug Puthoff
    September 8th, 2010 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    9-8 BB: Somehere, some member of the Taliban is reading this strip and thinking, “All American Generals are decadant drunks,” and planning on hijacking a plane.

    So far, BB and FC have reprinted strips to celebrate their anniversaries. It reminds me of when CBS started airing reruns of “M*A*S*H” while still making new episodes. The reruns were muach better than the new eps.

  106. Doug Puthoff
    September 8th, 2010 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    9-8 Rose is rose. Wrong, Pasquale is a warlock. He should be burned at the stake, along with the other characters in this strip.

    Dilbert–Ratbert is so darn cute. Only he could have said “Brains and Squeeegees without making me vomit.

  107. Ed Dravecky
    September 8th, 2010 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    At least Beetle Bailey has the decency to make a big deal about running reruns instead of recycling old strips as new. I’m looking at you, Curtis, Family Circus, and a few strips not even worth calling out.

  108. True Fable
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    Apartment Double D Nobody puts Luann in a corner, now that she looks like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing.

  109. Walker of Dog
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    9/9 strips:

    A3G: The earlier speculation that Margo is under some pharmacological influence is confirmed. Her only response to Kat’s invitation to complement Lu Ann is that moronic grin.

    FC: I hope they don’t top up the fish tank with water from the inflatable swimming pool.

    RMMD: Rex is wearing the hell out of his mean face today.

  110. Comcis Fan
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Jenna apparently shops at the same Lavender Jumpsuit Shoppe as Dawn, or else their outfits are part of the patient garb at the mental institution that Charterstone actually is.

    S4th: Sally’s cheery platitudes are sure to avert Hilary’s tumble into the spiral-inducing wrong crowd.

    DtM: Dennis wonders if his parents heard those rhythmic bumping sounds in the wall, too. (The elder Mitchells are warm and loving toward their young son, as usual.)

    FW/FC/Crock/H&L/Lockhorns: All of these today make the Anthony-era FOOB look good.

    Zits (yesterday): Pierce and the maternity blouse were hilarious.

  111. Red Greenback
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    9-9 A3-G: lol.
    9-9 Phantom: Don’t all me a you you!

  112. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    MARY WORTH, HARD-DRINKING HARRIDAN — In a flash from the past, Mary and Jenna drink bathtub gin out of teacups… and somewhere an angel by the name of Aldo Kelrast gets his wings!

  113. bats :[
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    As someone associated with the medical field, True Fable, I’m sure you’re grooving on that off-the-shoulder surgical scrub of Tommie’s.

    Speaking of medical-like stuff, something else you might appreciate…

  114. Red Greenback
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    Let’s try this again… 9-9 Phantom: Don’t call me a you you!
    9-9 RM,MD: Man, if they try to pin this one on Cue, I’ll quit my job drink be ever so cross!

  115. Poteet
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:49 am [Reply]


    A3G — Good heavens. Lu Ann would look like an extra from the Messalina orgy scene in I, CLAUDIUS, if her face contained any evidence that she could ever feel anything approaching lust or even mild voyeurism. As it is, she looks more like an extra in one of the numerous funeral scenes.

    DtM — Dennis in a kilt at the crack of dawn. That’s different.

    ZITS — Is it just me, or is this one of the most unrealistic ZITS strips ever?

  116. ElkMeadow
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    To find out about the Pod People kids, I thought I’d go to the Dennis web-site. I didn’t find any information about the twins.

  117. Poteet
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#113): That’s Lu Ann with the orange curls, believe it or not.

  118. Dancing Bear
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    “Hey, Margie, guess what? I put the grandkids in the strip today! Did they see it? Well, show ‘em the damn paper! Yeah, I’ll wait….whaddya mean, where? Tell ‘em to quit crying! They’re right THERE, dammit, standing next to Dennis. Huh? DENNIS! He’s the goddamned kid in the middle, with the cowlick….ahh, put her on. Hey, honey, look! You’re standing next to DENNIS! DENNIS THE MENACE! You know, the funny strip Gampy draws? Yeah, that’s YOU—see? Aw, quit crying. For Christ’s sake. Put Mommy back on the phone.”

  119. Bobdog
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    It’s like a caricature artist from Fisherman’s Wharf was brought in at the last moment to finish up a Dennis the Menace cartoon — or two people posed for a caricature artist who inexplicably put them in a Dennis the Menace cartoon instead of riding a skateboard or being locked up in Alcatraz or whatever (an even more inexplicably said portrait ended up becoming an actual Dennis the Menace cartoon)

  120. Red Greenback
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#116): Yeah, I went there earlier as well, but I did notice a bit of a resemblance to Marcus Hamilton, the weekday DtM artist. (Grandkids, maybe?)

  121. Citric
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    Today’s Family Circus by special guest Tom Batiuk.

  122. dreadedcandiru2
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:10 am [Reply]


    9 Deadgran Lane: Now that Kiesl has told Gran who he is, she’s pretty much died on her feet from shock. Thanks loads for not telling her this beforehand, Juliette and Edda; now you’ve God-damned killed her.

    Luann: Frank reminds us that, as a father in a strip aimed at women and teenagers, he’s pretty much required to be one chromosome away from having to have the drool wiped off his chin 24/7/365.

  123. Rumon
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    I see that Margo is sporting the Xena: Warrior Princess ensemble. Very chic for fifteen years ago!

  124. bats :[
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    117. Poteet: well, that shoots my slinky scrubs theory all to hell…
    (OTOH, asking Margo for her opinion/a prompt? Why do I have a feeling that Kat is silently pleading, “Oh, please, God, agree with me, Margo — don’t let Lu Ann get me!”)

  125. Poteet
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    9/9 FRED BASSET — Am I the only one who thinks Fred keeps changing sizes? Today he’s built along the lines of Marmaduke.

  126. ElkMeadow
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Luann just got posted.

    Dirk and T.J. in the same strip. Great, just great.

  127. Poteet
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    I used to give a monthly shout-out to Lu Ann in A3G, but for the past few months, she’s been around and no greeting has been needed. So instead, I will indulge in a monthly yell to Neddie in JP to get those hunks of hair out of her face. Today’s the day. USE A COMB, NEDDIE!

  128. ElkMeadow
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    It just gets me. Remember (like it or not) the Howard Bunt story line in FOOB? The dad discovers Howard is stalking the house and he’s going to call the police, but Liz begs him not to? And then when Anthony (ugh) rescues her from Howard (I wanted Dennis to do the rescuing), they don’t call the police?

    And then when Dirk showed up to help Mrs. Horner move, violating his restraining order, Toni tells Brad not to call the police while Mrs. H. swoons all over big strong Dirk. And now here we have another “call the police” case as Dirk is apparently on parole and violating his restraining order, and the money is on Nancy and Frank not calling.

    Also, I think that it’s now in all fifty states, that people get a warning when someone who they helped put behind bars gets out. Brad, anyway, should have been keeping tabs on what happened to Dirk, testifying at his trial, etc. instead of ignoring the systems that are already in place.

  129. Roman Fingers
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    A3G: Hey–it’s Kathy Griffin!

    Cranky: So the board is a bunch of assholes, too? Wait, what was I thinking. Of course they are.

    DtM: After those two girls yesterday, we’re all having trouble sleeping.

    DT; Dick closes his eyes really tight, in the hopes that he can visualize the link. Nope. Nothing there.

    The Funktacular Winkerbean: Good Lord, we’re going to have to live the whole damn thing over again, aren’t we?

    JP: Any chance we can get Neddy to straighten out Funky?

    MT: I’m so glad Beth explained that her husband won’t appreciate her ratting him out. I was confused about that.

    Plug: So Pluggers have hippie grandkids?

    And now, this extended length snark is brought to you with limited commercial interruptions by the Long Shot Cafe. Remember, if you expect a good meal, it’s a long shot…

    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
    Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
    While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
    As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
    “‘Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door -
    Only this, and nothing more.”

    Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
    In there stepped a stately woman of the saintly days of yore;
    Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
    But, with mien of lord or lady, perched beside my chamber door -
    And looked upon a bust of Aldo just above my chamber door -
    Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

    Then this ancient woman beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
    By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance she wore.
    “Though thy crest be white and hairy, thou,” I said, “art sure no fairy,
    Ghastly grim and ancient Mary wandering from the Nightly shore -
    Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
    Quoth the Mary, “Meddlemore.”

    “Be that word our sign in parting, friend or fiend,” I shrieked, upstarting -
    “Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
    Leave no salmon squares as token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
    Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door!
    Take thy nose from out my business, and take thy form from off my door!”
    Quoth the Mary, “Meddlemore.”

    And the Mary, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
    Staring at bust of Aldo just above my chamber door;
    And her eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
    And the lamplight o’er her streaming throws her shadow on the floor;
    And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
    Shall be lifted nevermore

  130. Big Daddy
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Yeah sure, the curls are great Kat,” snarled Margo, “but did I miss the invite to the frat party? I mean, what’s with the toga?”

  131. Hasty Penguin
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    A3G: What’s going on with Margo’s new outfit? Is it moth eaten or just awkwardly puffy in no particular pattern? At the end of this arc are we going to be treated to a grotesque clownish Bouffant act put on by the three girls in order to satirize the fashion industry?

  132. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    Dog Eat Doug — Baka Gaijin… The Early Years!

    Phantom — The winnah… and still champion!

    Pluggers… wear jewelry made by child laborers!

    Brenda Starr — Turow, Huxley, Dostoyevsky, Leonard… and a dog named Ulysses!

  133. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    A3G— Everyone is going to love LuAnn’s new look: Who could dislike Harpo Marx?

  134. Farley's Revenge
    September 9th, 2010 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark says Frank’s biz is none of his biz. Really? When did you start minding your own business, Mark? Is this part of the new, improved, non-punching Mark Trail? If it is, then what’s the point of reading the strip? There’s only so many giant birds, talking forest animals, and “OH NOEZ! SASSY IS LOOSE AGAIN!” yawners that can be offered. We want punching, dammit!

    MW: Wait. Jenna was all “OMG! I’m totally <3 Dr. Mike so I must stalk him!" and now that Dr. Mike is paying her some attention she's all "I don't think so." She should change her name to Y0-YO, and not just because it's a descriptive term of her mental state.

  135. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 9th, 2010 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    @Roman Fingers (#129): Your poem has definitely made my midnight less dreary. I expect that our fellow nightowl Curmudgeons will be raven about it.

  136. Mr. O'Malley
    September 9th, 2010 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    How many days of old phone messages will we have to sit through before Funky figures out that his wife is having an affair?

  137. Fashion Police
    September 9th, 2010 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    Mrs. Powers looks awful. She should go back to the gingham frills we never see her wear and take a sabbatical in Westview, Ohio for the next eighteen months or so.

  138. Just some guy
    September 9th, 2010 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    I think/hope Dirk is going to destroy the entire world of DeGroots, and then move on to other comics like Crock and Mallard Filmore.

  139. Steve the Pocket
    September 9th, 2010 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    So being forced to look at the horror that is yesterday’s Dennis the Menace again made me notice that two of the stripes on the one girl’s bathing suit are flesh-colored, to a rather disturbing effect.

    Also, today’s Luann made me laugh, but I’ve never had reason to hate on Mr. Degroot, the one delivering the punchline, so I’m cool with that. (Although I also haven’t heard the song he professes to sorta like. And as we all know, nothing inspires blind hatred like bad taste in music.)

  140. Dev_chieftain
    September 9th, 2010 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    @LuAnn: It’s so cute that Dirk thinks the voodoo magic he was sold actually cloaks his appearance from his enemies.

  141. Petal Metal
    September 9th, 2010 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    Iconic gut or not, I remember Dennis & family going off on vacation a few days ago. Was it an extremely short vacation, or is the guy standing in the doorway not Mr. Wilson. A lot of guys have beer guts and, since I assume the Mr. Wilson buys all his clothing off the rack, a lot of guys would have the same kind of shirt he wears.

  142. This Guy
    September 9th, 2010 at 3:05 am [Reply]

    OBH: Did some asshole glue the cat’s feet to the ground underneath the car? That’s the only explanation I can think of for both why it’s so pissed off and why it’s been there for a few months straight.

    Pluggers: It may not be too late for you, small bear-girl. Run! Run, while you’re still fit enough to do so!

    R==R: Oh, come on, we all know your real motive is to figure out what the hell gender that thing really is.

  143. Meatbag
    September 9th, 2010 at 3:05 am [Reply]

    DtM: Given how one of the hyper-realistic twins there brought an inner tube to a romp in the sprinklers, I think it’s safe to say she rides the short bus with Joey. The same bus that is covered, as it happens, in Dennis the Menace decals.

  144. Roman Fingers
    September 9th, 2010 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#135): Glad you liked it. The idea hit me while I was half asleep in the shower this morning.

  145. tommy
    September 9th, 2010 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    Those months and months and actually YEARS of practice-drawing new hairstyles for the 3G girls have finally paid off, like so many Marlboro Miles.

  146. Chowder
    September 9th, 2010 at 4:02 am [Reply]

    Claiming that you’ve found religion as proof that you’re a changed man, as a means to hide the fact that you’re not, is a trope all it’s own-add in a necklace with the symbol of your new religion, and we’re gleefully skipping naked through the poppy-fields of cliche. With one gesture, Dirk has made himself more untrustworthy than if he’d just flat out admitted he was totally going to come by and paint Glenn Beck’s face on their house. Clearly in this situation Mrs. DeGroot is the naysayer of the formula; everyone else will buy that Dirk has cleaned up his act, leaving Mrs. DeGroot to make herself look bad trying to prove his ill intent. If they’re lucky, she won’t be TOO smug when he steals their lawn furniture and replaces it with underfed honey badgers.

  147. Sheila Sternwell
    September 9th, 2010 at 4:02 am [Reply]

    I pity the people who don’t pay much attention to A3G — and by that I mean pretty much everyone — because they’re not going to realize the little red-headed girl with naturally curly hair is Lu Ann.

  148. This Guy
    September 9th, 2010 at 4:12 am [Reply]

    @Sheila Sternwell (#147): Hell, put Lu Ann’s hair up and give her a rock necklace, and she’s basically Wilma Flintstone.

  149. Ubiq
    September 9th, 2010 at 4:19 am [Reply]

    My guess is that the storyline planning for Luann went something like this:

    “Oh, so they laughed at the song, did they? Well, I’ll show those bastards! I’ll show them all by focusing on Brad, Toni, and Dirk! After a few weeks of that, they’ll be begging for a new youtube video!”

  150. Mr. O'Malley
    September 9th, 2010 at 4:39 am [Reply]

    @Chowder (#146): Potentially the New Dirk could be an interesting character. But his showing up in an anachronistic manually loaded garbage truck is not propitious.

    If his obsession with proper recycling were developed more, it could be promising. Particularly if combined with his new Christian principles. We could hear a lot about stewardship of the earth and so on.

    Or alternatively he could join forces with Mrs. DeGroot in fighting fornication. And probably homosexuality too. (So … why is it we never see much about TJ’s outside interests? If he’s not in the kitchen, we don’t know where he is.) But that wouldn’t play on the comic pages.

    Dirk and Mrs. DeGroot have an affair? That seems to be akin to where FW is leading. But too dark for Luann, I fear.

    It’s illuminating of theatre history that those characters that we perceive to be free of moral strictures are the most compelling, even if we find ourselves disapproving of their violations of societal norms.

    Hello to the free-spirited wise lower-class-sterotype manual laborer sages. What ungrammatical words of wisdom will roll off their tongues like a honey-coated frozen grape?

  151. Ed Dravecky
    September 9th, 2010 at 5:19 am [Reply]

    I hate to admit it but the city of Dallas still uses the manually loaded garbage trucks. All of us out in the ‘burbs have the robo-lifted containers but Big D would rather spend its money on unwanted convention center hotels and pointless decorative bridges than on road repair, infrastructure maintenance, libraries, or new garbage trucks.

  152. Zla'od
    September 9th, 2010 at 5:40 am [Reply]

    Luann: More proof that Dirk is unreformed: (a) He is wearing sunglasses and one of those newfangled “hip hop” negro headdresses. (b) His underclothing is black, symbolizing the darkness in his soul. (c) Rather than seize the opportunity to preach the gospel to Mrs. DeGroot, he excuses himself and flees. (d) His new occupation was obviously calculated to make the reader feel icky.

    Surely no comic strip would encourage children to mistrust policemen or firemen. Why, then, are sanitation workers made the object of suspicion? Discuss.

  153. John C Fremont
    September 9th, 2010 at 6:12 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#114): I dunno, Red. I liked it better the first time. Laughed my ass off, I did.

    A3G – I’m pretty sure Lu Ann was in that Magna Roma episode of Star Trek.

    MW – “I’ll answer your question, Jenna, but first let me take a sip of my tea. Blably ble’s blanged blubble blurble…”

    Phantom – Did Savarna’s dress start out that short? And (ulp) tight?

  154. Marion Delgado
    September 9th, 2010 at 6:15 am [Reply]

    The way Brooke McEldowney’s Pibgorn did a Midsummer Night’s Dream, perhaps Luann will do “Mistress DeGroot’s Lover.”

    Their eyes met. His had a cold, ugly look of dislike and contempt, and indifference to what would happen. Hers were hot with rebuff.
    But her heart sank, she saw how utterly he disliked her, when she went against him. And she saw him in a sort of desperation.
    ‘Good afternoon!’
    ‘Afternoon, Mrs. DeGroot!’ (He still would not call her “Nancy.”) He saluted and turned abruptly away. She had wakened the sleeping dogs of old voracious anger in him, anger against the self-willed female. And he was powerless, powerless. He knew it!
    And she was angry against the self-willed male. A parolee too! She walked sullenly back inside.

  155. John C Fremont
    September 9th, 2010 at 6:23 am [Reply]

    DT – A link? If he tries to pin this on Clarence Williams III, I will be very cross. Very cross, indeed.

    Oh, I get it! Sue Doko! HA HA HA HO HO HA

    GT – Bad touch, Kaz.

  156. Carl Barks Fan
    September 9th, 2010 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    A3G: That’s not Lu Ann, that’s Sean Penn in a Harpo Marx wig.

    And Margo is wearing her mothers old bathroom carpet, tastefully tailored.

  157. Pozzo
    September 9th, 2010 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    Kat knew that she’d better make Margo look good, if she didn’t want her severed head being added to the pile in the corner in panel one.

  158. Little Guy
    September 9th, 2010 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    @Zla’od (#152): The wisest sanitation worker has always been the one in “Dilbert”.

    A3G: Margo’s “dress” is a printer’s smudge in a vain attempt to cover up her boobiage. Curse you, Janet Jackson!

    Luann: I remember how passionate I was years over the repeated appearences of Dirk, and the inferrence that Toni would go back to him and Brad would be left in the lurch. This time around, I don’t give a shit, and I realize why. Mama DeGroot has made Dirk irrelevant.

    MT: “No, you really shouldn’t tell me. No, I’m putting my fingers in my ears…. lalallalalalal I can’t hear you….”

    DtM: Someone tell him that the Olsen Twins are passe’

  159. Little Guy
    September 9th, 2010 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    …how passionate I was for years…

  160. tb4000
    September 9th, 2010 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    9CL: As much as she has dominated this strip over the past year, I confess I am interested to see how Eva’s story unfolds over the next few strips, which should equate to the next few months.

  161. Vince M
    September 9th, 2010 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#114): Alright, a Laurel and Hardy reference!

  162. Little Guy
    September 9th, 2010 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#128): Said it before, Mama DeGroot is the cockblocker, not Dirk, in the Brad-Toni relationship these days. The Liz-Anthony storyline was so much obvious and blatant fanwanking, down to Anthony going into superhero mode against the UberEvil Howard Bunt, it was ridiculous.

    We’ve already seen Brad punch out Dirk at his graduation ceremony, and the storyline continues. I remember the discussions how Brad was going to get suspended and how Toni was going to go back to Dirk and whatnot. It’s been years since that has happened, and Shannon is more of an irritant in the relationship.

    I don’t see the same fanwanking in *this* storyline. Perhaps that’s what “Hey Boy” is for, and it will be Luann’s “Stone Soup”.

  163. Chyron HR
    September 9th, 2010 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane – I know the feeling, “Eva”. This story makes me want to drop some pot, too.

  164. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 9th, 2010 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Curtis — Barry Wilkins is the only person I know who gets teary-eyed whenever he watches a Berenstain Bears cartoon!

    The Pajama Diaries — A “mini ritz” right back atcha, missy! (Is it the Jewish New Year already?)

    Ballard Street — This would’ve worked better as a Hump Day gag!

    Pickles — I can handle the three eyes and the two noses on Earl, but the two mustaches is seriously creeping me out!

  165. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 9th, 2010 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    A3G: Okay, I can see what the artist is going for with Luann’s new look. But which Greek goddess is the deity for “stoopid”?

    Curtis: That’s quite the Lenny impression you have there, Barry. Can we just skip ahead to the part where you snap Michelle’s neck?

    MW: Mary sips the sweet brown juice of human suffering. “Mmmmm….. angst…..”

    DtM: I’d always assumed that the Mitchells didn’t have more kids because Dennis was too much to handle—but now we learn the real reason: coitus interruptus, a la Dennis.

    SM: At last, Spidey has found his proper role in the super-hero universe: spewing lame quips while someone else gets things done.

    FC: There’s one way to enjoy your pets: contemplating the various means of disposing of their corpses. Then again, if that poor goldfish must spend its days facing those distorted melon-faces in horrifying close-up, it’s probably longing for the sweet release of the sewer system.

    MT: That last panel is confusing. Here, let me adjust it for consistency: “Your husband Frank is right, Beth. It’s none of Cherry’s and my–i.e., Mark’s, business.”

  166. Mordock999
    September 9th, 2010 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann 09/09/10

    Awwww, DON’T worry about Dirk, Nancy.

    You KNOW His Route, so a well-placed I.E.D. should take CARE of THIS Bastard.

    And IF We’re VERY, VERY lucky, it’ll take TJ OUT in the process.

    DEATH to TJ!!! Hell, EVEN Frank AGREES with Me!!!

  167. comicsgrl
    September 9th, 2010 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    AG: So I don’t get it. I thought Tommie was the red head. Is that going to change now and she will come out as a blonde?

  168. Scott Bot
    September 9th, 2010 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Luann – Papa De Groot pretty much summed up my feelings towards TJ…

  169. Ellie
    September 9th, 2010 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    MW- Wow, Jenna must have the longest legs in the world. Look how high up her knees are!

  170. Mooncattie
    September 9th, 2010 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    MW – Ernst Blofeld, meet the other half of your sky!

    MT – “No it isn’t, Beth!” *PUNCH* “Uh…oops.”

    A3G – This is really a scream. I assumed at first that this was the new Tommie, which made the comment “It’s the hair, Kat” a perfect reflection of her essential dumbness. Ah, but it’s Lu Ann, and yellow-haired no longer! At least she didn’t say “It’s the Kat, hair”.

    JP – “And we’d look so amazing together naked! Somehow, I feel we’ve already been drawn that way!”

    Luann – And the first game goes to the fella in the woolly hat. Well done, Dirk!

  171. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 9th, 2010 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    reBEBA (a/k/a Beetle Bailey) — “Would you believe a 20-gun and a half-shot salute?” (Apologies to Don Adams!)

    Herb & Jamaal — No surprise here… when you lie down with bedbugs, you wake up covered in the bloodsucking beasties!

    La Cucaracha — Lalo says “adios” to Anchor Babies/Arizona… and “hola” to Gay Rights! (Please, please, PLEASE… don’t let this be the start of a tirade about the lack of Gay Rights for Anchor Babies in Arizona!)

    Ziggy… buys alphabet soup (with missing letters) from the S_UP N_ZI!

  172. Buck Ripsnort
    September 9th, 2010 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    reBB: Ah, the days when troop insurgency was funny.

    A3G: But– but, if LUANNE is the red-head, that means Tommie is — is– *personal universe explodes*

  173. Monica
    September 9th, 2010 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: You don’t need to hit him, Cody. The red shirt means he’ll be the first to die when the Romulans attack.

  174. cheech wizard
    September 9th, 2010 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    A3G – I think I’m seeing a trend here – this show isn’t “Dressing in the Dark,” it’s “Show Some Cleveage, Dammit!”

    BTW, LuAnn looks like one of those vacuous alien women Kirk used to bone on the original Star Trek. She’ll quietly go along with everything until her programming goes awry and she starts killing everything in sight. Hopefully she’ll wait until sweeps week, because Kat could use the ratings boost.

  175. Scott Bot
    September 9th, 2010 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Archie – What ever happened to the perpetual Betty/Veronica thing? Apparently Veronica won.

  176. Rootbeer
    September 9th, 2010 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Oh, A3G. Margo really needs to be wearing a necklace with that dress; her collarbones alone are not sexy enough to complete the look. (I’m a hetero male who wears jeans and T-shirts every day, and even I know this.)

    Maybe she had a necklace, but Dirk stole it from her.

  177. John C Fremont
    September 9th, 2010 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#114): Geez, dude, I thought I was being original when I made my DT comment; @John C Fremont (#155):. Wow! I’ve got to remember to turn off the autopilot before posting. And drink more coffee. Color me brain-dead. And blue. Like an “I Dressed In The Dark” audience member. Yep, that pretty much sizes me up. A brain-dead audience member from a crappy fictional show. Who speaks in sentence fragments. In the words of Crow T. Robot, I hate myself!

    On the other hand, maybe it was a tribute. Yeah. Yeah, that’s the ticket. It was an hommage. Yes. Yes, that’s it exactly.

    September 9th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    MT- ” You must listen to your husband Beth. If not, the whole system breaks down. You ladies really must keep out of your man’s business. Now off with you before I give you a little taste of what your husband gonna get when I find out how he’s treating those animals. Cherry?! Where’s my meatloaf?! I want it Now!”

  179. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    9/9 (Luftballons)

    MC: Cage takes a dramatic turn in its last few weeks. Just goes to show you that fitness nuts and outdoorsmen die young too. Hear that, Jeff Mallett?

    A3G: Aside from looking nothing like herself, Lu Ann is now a redhead. So to avoid confusion, I guess Tommie will be shaved bald.

    9CL: Oh no! Edie just dropped the most likeable characters! I hope their roots are still intact.

    Phantom: Hand-to-hand combat–A. Quips–D-.

    MW: It’s absolutely delicious the way Mary sips coffee from a china cup while calmly discussing the death of a washout vigilante. I sense “his family situation has been resolved” will join “I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse” as one of the all-time gret euphemisms.

    BB: Let’s go fragging now, everybody’s learning how, come and get court marshalled with me.

    FW: Adultery? Sure, throw one more misery in.

    GT: Gil’s right. They need to make sure all they’re players are bipedal. League rules.

    SFx: Nice mix of drawing lesson and child drawing. The brother looks like he’s thinking, “I stand corrected. Some white men can jump.”

    Popeye: How is it relevant that some guy in the crowd just got an erection?

    S-M: Now Iron Man is really pissed. Puppet Master is not only using him for a crime wave, he’s also taking unannounced personal days.

    FC: The look of shock is because he understands what Billy is saying, and is now confronting his own mortality for the first time. That’s the fish. It all goes over Jeffy’s head.

  180. TheDiva
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Wow, that was fast. I expected Batiuk to get at least two more strips out of Nikki’s obliviousness.

    FW: Oh, who needs humor or drama, anyway?

    Luann: “No, the other one.”
    “Gunther? Why didn’t you say so?”
    “No, the other other one.”
    “I thought Brad wasn’t visiting until–”
    “DIRK, okay? It’s Dirk!”

    MW: Mary knows that if she can persuade Jenna to pursue a futile relationship with commitmentphobe Mike, she can bask in their angst for years to come.

  181. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#174): Thus far I’ve seen no cleavage in A3G. Maybe it should be there, but it isn’t.

  182. Professor Fate
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    It’s like Cliches on parade today:

    FW: He’s gonna hear something he shouldn’t on the messages – in keeping with Batiuk’s hamfisted storytelling – if his wife is having an affair she’s gonna leave the messages from her lover on the machine? I’m sure people in real life do that but come on after the x-ray missfile and the Army not paying Wally how many absurd plot twists can you take? If his wife is having an affair, I hope it’s with Les – so then Funky shoots them both with Wally’s gun and then blows his brains out. Well again a man can dream.

    MW: Now that he wants me I don’t want him.

    9CL: Notice the subtle use of the dropping of the pots to denote shock – and that his face hasn’t morphed into his younger days version.

    PBS: This joke wasn’t all that funny when it was in the National Lampoon magazine in the late 70′s or early 80′s. this strips been kind of mailing it in lately i hope that doesn’t continue.

  183. Bill the Butcher
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:11 am [Reply]


    Dirk to Nancy: “You’d better watch it, lady, because I’m going to go over every single bit of trash in your can, and if I find one teensy marijuana leaf or one grain of your secret stash of Sweet Cocaine, thou art going down, O Jezebel, in the name of the Jealous Lord. Amen.”

    Nancy: “I’m wet.”

  184. Mibbitmaker
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    9CL: Okay, now she knows who he is.

    A3G: Little Orphan Annie’s replacement. Still have to do something about her eyes, though….

    ReBB: Practicing fragging for when you get to Vietnam, eh, Rocky?

    Curtis: Psst! — Don’t tell Barry about Mr. Johnson in Mark Trail! ….at least until he frames his big brother again, when Barry deserves it.

    Doonesbury: See, Batiuk?
    HOW. IT’S. DONE!
    (it bears repeating)

  185. teenchy
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#125): Maybe FB’s artist is drawing inspriation from Adventure Time‘s shape-shifting Jake the Dog.

  186. Krazy Kat
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:17 am [Reply]


  187. Weaselboy
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    A3G: “It’s the hair, Kat.” No shit.

  188. Mibbitmaker
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    FC: Given their backyard graveyard, I’m assuming “buried”.

    Garfield: That, or he landed on a baby’s pacifier.

    GF: No… “Who-mo Keithmoonis”.

    JP: The difference between Mark and Blanthony: Blan’ didn’t think he’d done anything wrong.

    Luann: “Y-you’re not my husband! You’re — (*gasp*)….. Mordock999!”

    MT: “You’re messing with a totally pointless Guy Code here in LoFo, Beth! I cannot allow that.”
    Thus begins Cop-out Mark Trail…

    MW: “It’s like bees to honey”, thought Mary.

    OBH: Danny’s a budding satirist. Or, at least, stand-up comedian.

    Phantom: Popeye.

    Popeye: Phantom.

    Other Coast: Gee, Snoopy didn’t have that kind of trouble! Piker!

  189. Krazy Kat
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    A3G: There’s something different about Lu Ann…. What is it… What is it? Damn, this is driving me crazy. What’s different about Lu Ann? I just can’t put my finger on it. It’s something… Oh wait, what’s that, Lu Ann? Oh, it’s your HAIR!! Thanks for helping me out with that.

  190. True Fable
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey was funny 45 years ago!

    Children of the Circle “We have special plans for you, Jeffy.”

    Luannadana “The pot’s calling the kettle black.”

    Ruse is Ruse “Hug the hog out of him.” Gee, wondered why that phrase never caught on.

    The Amazing Tony Stark I just know Tony is wanted to turn around and just bitch-slap Spidey into next week. Go ahead, Tony. Nobody’s lookin’.

  191. True Fable
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Bet he’s wanting to, as well.

  192. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#137): Oh yes, Mrs Powers. I had forgotten she was a widow. Well done.

  193. cheech wizard
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#181): And I haven’t seen any crow’s feet either – but you still know they’re there.

  194. Bennui
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    The editors of Dennis the Menace are trying to gain relevancy by introducing toddler-twin-celebrity-cuteness into the strip a la Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Alas, like Mr Wilson’s pipe and daily newspaper, they are already 20 years late to the party.

  195. spike
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#61): As Mr. Rogers would say, "Ithawchacud!" [And much better than anything I might ever attempt.] And we all thank you!

  196. Red Greenback
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#177): No worries, John C. It’s good to know that I have an ally that is willing to get all Shirley Temple on injustice’s ass.

  197. Walker of Dog
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#137): Wow. I don’t care for her new look either, but 18 months in Westview? Call me soft on crime, but disappointing makeover results do not merit the death penalty.

    @comicsgrl (#167): This will play hell with the little floating heads in the Sunday title panel. Will they still be arranged by hair color? Maybe alphabetically? Chaos.

    @Ellie (#169): Jenna’s just a little gassy from all those uncooked squash slices. That Mary Worth sure can lay out a spread.

    @dreadedcandiru2 (#122): But why is she standing all pigeon-toed? I thought when she died her feet would curl right up her legs.

  198. Carlo
    September 9th, 2010 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Archie: Judging by panel 3, Veronica has the Herp and Archie is the only one who isn’t skeeved out by it. This storyline is supported by yesterday’s comic, in which Miss Lodge had a flair up but didn’t want anyone to see.

    FW: I guess they haven’t heard of HIPAA laws in the Funkyverse, where it’s hunky dory to just give out medical information randomly. Also, who the hell still uses an answering machine?! Funky’s a plugger.

    Gil Thorp: Also, speaking of confidentiality laws, you are strictly verbotten in the foster care system in my state to speak as openly as Cody’s foster mother is, especially about previous placements and timelines. She obvious doesn’t care about Cody’s rights. Nice lady, though.

  199. vanya
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    No one seems to be commenting on the sick way Batiuk is taking so much extended pleasure in torturing a poor girl of limited intelligence in “Crankshaft” (“You’re fired” “You mean hardened like clay in a kiln?” “No, we mean you don’t have a job here anymore.” “So, my job is now in another building?” “No, we won’t pay you any more money.” “So, you’ll be paying me in barter?” etc. etc. etc.). Does anyone find this funny?

    But I suppose we’ve all become so enured to Batiuk’s sadism that it doesn’t even spark much interest these days.

  200. The Errant Arrow of Eros
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:02 am [Reply]

  201. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#115): If Dennis is wearing a kilt, you’re gonna see crack all right.

  202. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#193): Point taken, what with Kat being involved.

  203. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Nancy — Nan-O-Bot has a bad hair day! (Is the hottie teacher a new character?)

    Ripley’s — Jack Davis of Mad magazine fame ghosts today’s panel! (See: “Library”)

    Soup to Nutz — There are at least two possibilities, Andrew: she was either crazy… or color blind!

  204. Gal Friday
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#179): “Maybe he’s changed now that his family situation is resolved.”

    Whoa, cold, baby, just cold.

  205. Dennis Jimenez
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    Luann – Good move, Dirk – that’s got to be a better, “prison really changed me,” sell, than showing mom the swastika the Ayran Brotherhood branded on your ass….

  206. Old School Allie Cat
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    A3G – The hair is amazing, but where’s Lambchop, Shari Lewis?

  207. spike
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    9CL: Well, DUH! How’s Kiesl gonna feel now that he realizes Eva failed to recognize him? Hope that taxi’s still there…

    Cul de Sac: I love this strip!

    FW: Now Funky’s going to think that Holly had already given him up for dead, so maybe…he’ll go out and finish the job himself?

  208. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    a lolcat take on Love Is. . . .

    slightly naughty koala.

    Hammy’s mutant cousin.

    snark, I haz none.

  209. Joe Blevins
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    LUANN – I, too, am suspicious of this “Dirk.” His disturbingly smooth, featureless appearance means he must be some sort of sentient, animated department store mannequin and, therefore, an agent of unspeakable evil.

  210. Braniff
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Luann–Hey TJ, Dirty Dirk’s back. Convert him back to his original self!!!!!

  211. bats :[
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    208. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando: re MT and Hammy’s cousin — HOLY CRAPPING PANCAKES!

    Dirk needs to go and hang out with Charley Smith. Just as Mary Worth’s getting a headful of self-righteous steam going, Dirk can chide her about her abysmal recycling rate, compared to everyone else in Charterstone, while Charley is whipping up a pitcher of margaritas for them all.

    September 9th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#208):

    Hammy’s mutant cousin.


    really, he's the life at parties

  213. odinthor
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    9CL. — Just as I thought. She’ll drop her pansies for any man who comes along.

    Curtis. — Well, they might be Pluggers.™

    GT. — Show Kaz where you usually catch the pass rusher, man. Go on, I double dog dare ya. And if he’s not wearing his cup, that’s his problem.

    JP. — And we readers don’t deserve to be dragged through this tawdry little scene. But here we all are.

    MW. — Jenna is getting so excited about Dr. Mike’s apology that her pony-tail is undergoing mitosis!

  214. Howard
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#116):

    Good Lord. I clicked through, and it was as bad as that time I found the old Beetle Bailey collection from back in the day. As I went back to the seventies and older, I discovered that Dennis was a genuine menace, and the artwork was gorgeous. That’s right, you heard me, excellent linework, art that added something to the experience. I actually wanted to run out and buy a book of the most vintage DtM work I could find, right then and there, and peruse it.

    And then I looked back at the last week’s worth of dreck… tired, regurgitated art. Gags about a sweet, innocent boy.

    Oh, what a world!

    While I’m gabbing, I usually like to say something about Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean. It’s kind of my thing. The existential shift between the two has been a source of much consternation for me.

    I have nothing to say. Lately they’ve both been dark, confounding my ideas about what Batiuk is doing with these strips. Still, FW seems to be about an irreedemable asshole who is as he is for no good reason, who does what he does because he wants to, while the Shaft still appears to be about people being bad because of a bad world making them that way.

  215. greghousesgf
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    those twins are creepy, so they probably are supposed to be the Olsens!

  216. Sequitur
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#208): I was once visiting Sunken Gardens in Florida and saw a baboon masterbating. Ya got a picture of that?

  217. cheech wizard
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    LuAnn – So when Dirk inevitably pounds Brad’s ass, we’ll know it’s because he was mixing non-recyclables with recyclables, since used condoms don’t have a little triangle with a “1″ inside them.

  218. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#216): furiously?

  219. AT
    September 9th, 2010 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Wow. Look at how Margo’s dress sits weirdly on her body. Kind of like she was first drawn stark naked, and then the dress was paper-dolled onto her. I bet Frank Bolle has a whole bunch of naked Margo drawings. I wonder how much he’d sell them for.

  220. Écureuil Écumant
    September 9th, 2010 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @217 cheech wizard said:

    LuAnn – So when Dirk inevitably pounds Brad’s ass, we’ll know it’s because he was mixing non-recyclables with recyclables, since used condoms don’t have a little triangle with a “1? inside them.

    Well now, I’m not so sure. I believe the female ones do, both used and new; but seem to recall that the code has nothing whatsoever to do with recycling.

  221. cheech wizard
    September 9th, 2010 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#220): No, the little codes are specifically for recycling purposes – they show what type of plastic they are, and not all recyclers accept all types. And I doubt Dirk would ever run across a discarded female condom – although if anyone would agree to using one, it would be Brad.

  222. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 9th, 2010 at 2:36 pm [Reply]


    Romans 8:1, New International Version: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…

    Romans 8:1, Comics Curmudgeon Version: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus… except for Dirk, who shall forevermore remain a total ass for our entertainment.

  223. cheech wizard
    September 9th, 2010 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#222): Actually, I think the verse Dirk will be quoting is Ezekial 25:17.

  224. Crankenstank
    September 9th, 2010 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    Margo has been magically transported by her makeover from the mid-60s to early 70s to the late 1940s. Not that I’m objecting, mind you, since you cannot possibly have a worse look than the one she’s sported for the past 45 years or so. Now let’s hope her snotty attitude emerges from the dark ages into something approaching the age of enlightenment.

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