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Just pray that “nice Margo” doesn’t make an appearance

Apartment 3-G, 1/19/07

You know who I hope is at the door? Fun Tommie! Yes, the reason Tommie’s been so boring is that, due to a freakish space-time anomaly, she was split into “Dull Tommie” and “Fun Tommie,”
with the former being the one we’ve been watching all this time. As to where “Fun Tommie” went, she’s been boozing and screwing her way up and down Manhattan for most of the last three years, and is finally coming back to take a nap.

Sadly, it’s actually no doubt Gina at the door, come to say something rude and then flit off. Or a boring dark-haired white guy in a blue suit to sweep Tommie off her feet. YAAAAWWWWNNN.

Beetle Bailey, 1/19/07

I think the coloring gnomes are finally forcing the integration of the comics by any means necessary. First TDIET sees its first ever person of color, then suddenly Killer becomes black. We shall overcome!

One Big Happy, 1/19/07

So, as this freezing family trudges ever-deeper into this endless, inescapable forest, who are we betting on being the sole survivor of the inevitable descent into cannibalism? Dad would be the early favorite, since he’s the strongest and a nominal authority figure, but don’t count out Ruthie: she’s scrappy, has a low center of gravity, and is completely batshit insane. Joe — poor surly, none-too-bright Joe — doesn’t really stand a chance.

Marmaduke, 1/19/07

Wow. When Maxi Light and Power celebrates another profitable quarter at its next shareholders’ meeting, and they honor everyone who helped bring the company stock price up another six percent, I hope that, along with the CEO who broke the union and cut unnessecary expenditures on power plant safety equipment, this nameless poodle, who repeatedly and selflessly submitted to sexual slavery just so Maxi’s crack staff could read this damn meter, is singled out for public recognition.

Pluggers, 1/19/07

“You’re know you are really a plugger?” Wow, and I thought this strip’s “Plugger’s/Pluggers” problem earlier this week was bad. Presumably this is meant to distract us from the “content” of this “joke”, which boils down to “You know you’re a plugger if you have a child when you’re relatively young and then live for another sixty years or so.”

348 responses to “Just pray that “nice Margo” doesn’t make an appearance”

  1. Forthillrox
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    To make it worse, I’ll bet it’s a boy poodle. Joke’s on him, Marmaduke doesn’t even seem to notice or care.

  2. Pelagius
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    When I look back on my time in the military, what I really miss is hanging out in the communal steamroom after a long day of singing showtunes around the flaming camp-fire.

  3. banana
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    the coloring gnomes are also using alot of eye popping green in that beetle bailey.

  4. willethompson
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    Maxi Light and Power is gonna get written up for about 83 violations of the NEC, not ot mention local codes. That’s a 200 amp service with no bonding? Who will run this negative force to ground???

    (Look, if you were electricians, you’d be ROTFL by now…)

  5. kat
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    First?

    Hmm. I totally thought the Marmaduke ‘joke’ was that perhaps that ol’ lovably gigantic dog, which probably has a heart condition (hey, there’s a good story FW!), would eat that guy’s wife’s poodle. So he wouldn’t have it anymore. And then I wept a little, because Marmaduke has driven me to such sick extremes.

  6. majolo
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    unnessecary?

  7. Johnny Q
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    1BH reminds me of a famous Ring Lardner exchange: “‘Are we lost, Daddy?’ ‘SHUT UP!’ he explained.”

    A3G: “And how do I get her back?” I’d like to get Tommie’s back, if you know what I mean, bro’!

  8. Jason
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    I had never seen Pluggers before I found this site and I have some sort of unreasonable hatred for it now. It seems to me to be a celebration of being out of loop and technologically illiterate.

  9. gh
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Plus Ruthie knows where the good scissors are hidden — under her hat!

  10. miraclemet
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    i couldnt see the 4th panel in One Big Happy at first… and I made up oh so many “good news” panels that were all centered around canibalism, soccer teams,, and then to realize that I needed to scroll over, and be disappointed.

    I think every comic should come in this format.. setup, then a forced pause where any normal human thinks of various funny things, hopes against hope and then opens up to the punchline, only to be disappointed by “were making great time” punch lines….

  11. Anonymous
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing around you.

  12. Anonymous
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Re: Marmaduke.

    Four words: Pop goes the weasel.

  13. Davis
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    “I’m so dull I bore myself.” How many strips can be summarized in just one sentence? Perhaps Margo will give her a T shirt with that on it.

  14. cheech wizard
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    I think Killer originally was supposed to be Italian, which was the 1950s version of Mexican. It could be that Walker Jr. simply decided to bring him up to date – either way, he’s clearly an oversexed, olive-skinned, oily seduction monkey right out of Dean Martin or Univision – take your pick.

  15. Sparky Ripsnort
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    Why are comic strip poodles always female? Wouldn’t the breed die out if that were the case? AND FOR GOD’S SAKE, WHY HASN’T THAT GIANT DOG BEEN FIXED YET?

  16. willethompson
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    #9 gh and others who want a Ruthie/good scissors t-shirt – will this do?

  17. Jack Parsons
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    JP: Cedric the butler is The Corinthian from Sandman.

  18. gh
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    #16 willethompson

    You slay me! Uh, it’s just an expression, OK?

    (backs away slowly)

  19. gh
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Did the site blow up for you about half an hour ago? It blew up for me. I thought maybe too much traffic, so in penance I went to chron.com and opened all the comics I hadn’t seen before or didn’t recognize from enough posts here. I read them so, as it turns out mostly, I won’t have to again.

    A quick tour and initial impressions:

    b/w –

    Baldo: Because he’s bald?
    Dinette Set: I’m sorry?
    Drabble: Um . . . what’s with the duck?
    Cleats: He used his underwear?
    Fred Basset: Still a long dog, I presume.
    GA (I know, but I never read it. Sue me.): “Hash house game”? Is that those medical marijuana places they’re shutting down in W. Hollywood?
    Heart of the City: Herb & Jamaal “quotin’” just not Langston Hughes.
    Lola: Now that’s just dirty talk.
    Monty: Next!
    Prickly City: OK, so?
    Quigmans: Eeww!
    Red & Rover: Kids only.
    Rubes: Larson ripoff.
    Speed Bump: Non- sequitur ripoff (single panel division).
    Spot the Frog: What the [Margo]?
    Strange Brew: see Rubes.
    Tank (nee Tank MacNamara): GT without the humor.
    The Other Coast: –sigh– let’s move on

    Color –

    Better Half: Better not.
    Between Friends: FBoFW wannabe. Run!
    Buckles: You know what would be funny? Not this.
    Edge City: Not so much.
    Fast Track: ditto.
    Pardon My Planet: see Strange Brew.
    Piranha Club: Uh . . .
    Safe Havens: Obviously needs to be read daily to be understood. Not gonna.

    That’s all, folks. Now back to our game in progress.

  20. jvwalt
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    When, exactly was Tommie ever “fun”? Hasn’t she always been the Designated Wet Blanket of A3G? I think she’s been alone so long that she’s confusing reality with her dreams.

    …Of course, Tommie’s dreams are probably about brisk games of Scrabble with suit-wearing nebbishes.

    Those towels in Beetle Bailey appear to be made out of cactus. I guess it’s handy for keeping those sexually-repressed shower shenanigans to a minimum. On the other hand, it would add a new dimension to towel-snapping.

    We could wrap up this whole Plugger thing in one big panel: “You know you’re a Plugger if you’re fat, old, clueless, and don’t give a damn.” (It used to mean “redneck,” but not so much any more.) Now can we euthanize this waste of comics-page space?

  21. Dennis Jimenez
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    Re 11 – I like to think of it as constructive ridicule.

  22. Lynngineering
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    I agree with #14 cheech wizard’s killer update idea – still, I can’t imagine the mentality authoring “Beetle Bailey” and all the cousin strips, allowing a Blackface Killer and Miss Buxley to go out anymore, (which he tried before she was Beetle’s ‘beard’). So Sarge is queer and Killer is African-American, the Army is all diversity. But what happened to the ACTUAL African-American character, and for that matter, that Asian-American character, the computer-nerd… Hm. Don’t ask, don’t tell…

  23. willethompson
    January 19th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    The logistics of a Great Dane/Poodle union would make Marmaduke look like he was trying to hula off a big wad of navel lint.

  24. Hogen Mogen
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    What Pluggers meant to say was “You no you’s a plugger if youse an’ yore daughter go to the movie’s an’ U get 2 senior discount’s, becaus even tho you’re daughter are only 45, youse guys only need to show won Seniores card to get the discounts.”

  25. Kate
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    Can I just say I’m really bummed that I’ve been working so frantically all week that I haven’t had a chance to revel in the COTW glory. When I get more time next week, I won’t even be a runner-up.

  26. Mike P
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    That’s Killer in “Beetle Bailey”? I thought it was the black officer, his name is Joe or something? I’m probably wrong.

  27. Rhekarid
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    You know you’re a plugger when you don’t know how old your own children are until they say it aloud in conversation.

  28. SarcasticAcid
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Wille, HOLY CRAP. I would buy ten of those.

  29. Hysterical Woman
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    BB: The layout of the shower confuses me. The shower head is on a different plane from the knobs, their are two dividers for no reason, and even though the glass door suggest a nice private civilian bathroom, two people use the shower at the same time. I think this is from a paralle universe where Beatle Bailey is even more gayer.

  30. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    At first I thought maybe that was Lt. Flapp but then figured it would be highly unlikely for an officer to be showering in the enlisted barracks. Then I realized it wasn’t any less likely than the existence of a morbidly obese platoon sergeant.

    Also, I’m pretty sure that Maxi Light & Power were the stars of a highly controversial cabaret act in Key West during the 80′s.

  31. Hogen Mogen
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    #15 – Sparky – are you saying that all female animals need to wear a pink bow in order to be recognized as such? I imagine that this electic meter reader is aware that Marmaduke is male, either by learning his name from the owners or neighbors, or the fact that Marm humped his leg so hard that he had bruises for three months and went to counselling for twice that. He must also be aware that his own dog is female. Or, he’s merely offering his male dog as a tidy snack for ol’ Marm. This is a different Marmaduke that the usual, since the joke would be just as non-funny if Marm were a Chihuahua. The joke is that he’s going “doggy style”.

    C’mon, don’t tell me you didn’t think of that yourself.

  32. treedweller
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    You’re a plugger if you’re old. Spelling is optional.

    Petulanter Parker apparently needs to buy some chocolate and rent “Ghost.” Maybe some bath salts. And Midol.

    I like the “good scissors” shirt.

  33. smidge
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Check it out: there’s a historical precedent for Killer being, occasionally, black:

    http://volume22.blogspot.com/2005_05_01_volume22_archive.html

  34. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    I think you’ll recognize the tune…

    You’re a mean one, Liz the Foob
    And not at all un prix.
    You’re as steady as a fruitfly,
    Just as warm as Moosonee
    Liz the Foob!
    You’re a rancid donut
    With chin-nuts fricasee.

    You’re a cocktease, Liz the Foob.
    Your heart’s a burnt-out coal.
    You’re steely as a noodle,
    Arsenic in your sugar bowl.
    Liz the Foob!
    I wouldn’t touch you, with a
    Thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

    [fade. We hear the narrator speak - ]

    And so Liz the Foob was left alone, with nothing but Haagen-Dazs and “Mr. Buzzy,” her electronic pal, to comfort her.

    And what happened then? Well, in Foobville they say that Liz’s ass grew three sizes that day.

  35. doug rogers
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    I read “Ding dong, hello!” as comments from off screen curmudgeonites.

  36. johnwhorfin
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    ..don’t count out Ruthie: she’s scrappy, has a low center of gravity, and is completely batshit insane.

    I don’t often comment here anymore, but that made me laugh so hard I covered my monitor with my Vesper martini. Great job, Josh.

  37. Jamus The Bartender
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke: No….Marmaduke’s not going to eat that dog…Marmaduke’s gonna make love to that poor little tiny poodle.
    Outch.
    That’s worse than the dogs making love scene in a great comic book called The Boys that Garth Ennis is writing. Check it out.

  38. Len
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    I know most of you Curmudgeons don’t care diddly about “Rudy Park,” but they’ve killed off Uncle Mort. Uncle Mort was in his 80s, a liberal Democrat, and would pontificate through a bullhorn — not someone you’d invite to a quiet family dinner, but he was kind to his sarcastic elderly girlfriend…

    So many of you were shocked at Aldo’s death in Mary Worth… Not a moment of silence for old Mort Park?

    In “Piranha Club,” the artist has decided that soap-opera strips are much more fun, and has converted the PC gang into a Mary Worth clone. Even changed the artwork to a (somewhat) more photo-realistic style. It reminds me of Robert Crumb. Very trippy.

    Poor Uncle Mort.

  39. Artist Formerly Known as Ben
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Josh, you’re ignoring a much more disquieting possibility on BB. You’ve seen Silence of the Lambs, right? Could it be that Killer has PULLED A BUFFALO BILL (!!!) on Jack Flap? I mean, you don’t really think they call him “Killer” because he’s a ladies man, do you?

  40. Allie Cat
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    #31 – There was a Rhymes with Orange a few years back weighing in on the pink bow – instead of giving the female bear a bow, she put the male bear in a pair of tighty-whiteys and had a remote in his hand. Every time I see a female animal with a bow, it makes me think of that.

  41. Harold
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    I like reading that last panel in Apartment 3-G as “Where did that DING-DONG Tommie go? And how do I get her back?”

  42. Silhouette
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    The odd thing is, when I first began reading A3G, the storyline was all about Tommie. I thought she was the star. Ha.

    Mysterious deaths at the hospital. The part-time cleaning lady was unplugging the life support machine to plug in her vacuum cleaner. A story ripped from the urban legend headlines.

  43. SmartPeopleOnIce
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    Tommy can’t understand why she can’t get a date.
    Margo can’t understand what Eric sees in LuAnn’s art.
    LuAnn doesn’t understand the library.

    Crikey, New York has more confused beaver than Lost Forest.

    But alas, as much as it aspires, A3G will never become Mark Trail because there’s no Dick.

  44. Ryan
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    I think I get it now. Plugger is just some crude slang for an old, constipated person. Right?

  45. Harold
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    Every time I see the word “Plugger” I just think of the age-old question: “You pluggin’, or ruggin’?” (i.e., “Are you using a tampon or a sanitary pad during your period?”) I assume all Pluggers are pluggin’, regardless of sex or age.

  46. Klipper
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    I believe the other fellow from Maxi Power and Light is about to:

    A. take flight

    B. spring up to the roof of the house (The Arrival style) or

    C. spread the cheeks of his butt to either:
    1. rip a giant fart or
    2. submit to a little sexual slavery of his own

  47. willethompson
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    #34 Mole Preener – Nice job! For our Aussie and Canadian friends, the last lyric should be:
    “I wouldn’t touch you
    with a ten meter pole.”

    And for some reason, whenever I see your screen name pop up, I want to sing like Shirley Bassey (cue the brass section):
    Mole Preeeener!
    [waa WAAAAA waa]
    He’s the guy who preens the moles
    (not common voles…)

    Strict rules of golf, Mr. Molepreener?

  48. Alex Blase
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    #19 – I’m there with on most of those, except Fred Basset. Once you get into its rhythm, it’s really quite sophisticated. Like the Frasier of the comics world.

    I think Killer’s real question should be: “Why does Sarge spend so much time in the communal shower?”

    That, and why is Beetle walking around with his towel around his neck, lettin’ it all hang out? That’s all well and good at the local bathhouse, but it’s really not the way I would imagine the military.

    Actually, I take that back – that’s exactly how I imagine the military.

    Also, love how Tommie is looking out the window for fun. Sorry Tommie, the Webcrawler moved to LA.

  49. M. Peachbush
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    #45 – And, if ruggin’ are you using a Maxi Light Power pad?

  50. majolo
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    I like how the other guy in Marmaduke is practicing his ski jump posture.

    Oh, and damn — Marmaduke is a big dog! Didja ever notice that?

  51. ChristyNell
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    FW: I’m glad to see that things are as cheerful as ever. Clearly the reason behind all the lopsided smiles in this strip is that each character has suffered a debilitating stroke that killed the other side of their face.

    FBOFW: I know what’s going to happen tomorrow. And I hate it. Hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it. Seriously.

    Hate it.

  52. Steve S
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    The recent Pluggers grammar errors make me want to contact the Pluggers franchise and demand someone who can write. Make want to even more so than usual, I mean.

  53. willethompson
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    #51 ChristyNell – “Foreshadowing is your key to quality literature.” – Berke Breathed, Bloom County

    Sorry, but since you mentioned FOOB and the upcoming ‘development,’ I need to repost this – apologies to those that read it two threads ago…
    (Summerhouse/Squid Countess – Sounds of Silence…)

    Hello, Lizard, my old friend.
    I’ve come to chauffeur you again.
    C’mon and climb into my whirlybird.
    Tell me how your boyfriend was a turd.
    And how Gary tried to snow you
    with some crap about a spirit guide?
    I think he lied…
    And tell me of this Plot of Nonsense.

    And now I drop out of the sky
    In my Sikorsky butterfly
    Ain’t it funny how I seemed to know
    Paul was hosing down another ho’?
    What kind of person could come up with
    a plot that’s just that thin?
    Her name is Lynn…
    She came up with this Plot of Nonsense.

    Foob, said I, cannot you see?
    It’s either me or Anthony!
    The moustache man would surely give his all
    To have you chained against his basement wall
    And be the mommy to Therese’s
    whiny spawn of hell
    You can tell…
    It’s written in the Plot of Nonsense.

    So this is it, it’s my last chance
    For me to get inside your pants
    I suspect your thighs are pale and white
    Maybe all globbed up with cellulite
    And after screwing you I’ll dump you
    the same way you dumped me
    Hee hee hee!
    After all, this Plot is
    Nonsense.

  54. Steve S
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    Sigh, typos in complaints about grammar. I never learn.

  55. Dicky
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    53: Thank you for saying the title of the song. I kept putting it to Seasons in the Sun and it didn’t sound correct.

  56. Lynngineering
    January 19th, 2007 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    BB: It’s just everyone is finally coming out – Sarge and Beetle, that couple is evident enough (whatever happened to the “female-Sarge” character he was with for a while? hmm…) Miss Buxley is sick of being Beetle’s “beard”, which we saw in the last panels, and as soon as she signals that, a few days later, now suddenly in the shower appears “Blackface Killer”. Oddly, everyone seems really fine with the news that he has traded ethnicities again. Especialy Buxley.

    But what happened to that other character, whats his name, Plato? Maybe HE has a chance with Buxley, in a kind of FBOFW way, with Miss Buxley doing Liz, and Plato as Anthony, and “Blackface Killer” as the equivalent of anyone in Mitwickgi.

  57. yellojkt
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    That Marmaduke! His is one HORNY dog!

  58. kilgore trout
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    #52 Grammar errors in comic strips? If only I could write, I’d write a letter to the mayor, if he could only read…

  59. Raznor
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    You know you’re a plugger if your a horrible man beast, as if as part of some horrible scientific experiment gone completely awry! Also if you don’t care for computers.

  60. Donald The Anarchist
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    OBH This strip is reminding me of a REALLY sick joke that ends w/ the punchline, “You think YOU’RE scared Billy. I have to walk OUT of this dark scary woods all by myself!”

    Pluggers Does this mean we’ll get to see further ripoffs of Mad, like “Snappy Answers To Stupid Pluggers” Plugger Vs. Plugger” and “What a Plugger Says, And What They REALLY Mean…” And we can have “Plugger Fold-ins” where the fold-in reveals a svelte successful urbane human. After all, Pluggers don’t mind when you totally screw with the premise of the one thing that imparts even a smidgen of humor into their pain-filled, constipated lives.

  61. Mr. O’Malley
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    I think people are missing something here.

    You’re are a Plugger if you don’t know how to use apostrophe’s.

    You’re are a Plugger if you don’t know nothing about grammer or speling.

    BTW some style manuals allow plural apostrophes in certain situations: ABC’s, 1950′s. However, this may be becoming less common (like candy cigarettes) as it can encourage misuse.

    Mr. O’Malley—skipped out of school to play bass in a blues band, and where I live now most high schools haven’t had music programs since Reagan was governor, consequently much of FW goes right over my head. (Missed my chance in the previous thread, catching up now.)

  62. PeteMoss
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    Are you a Plugger if your music program is skipping school to play bass in a blues band?

  63. Nyssa23
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    #60 Donald the Anarchist–I thought of that punchline too but I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. So thanks for that.

    The subject line makes me wonder…so, what do y’all think “nice Margo” would be like? Would she pay for Gina’s acting lessons? Would she offer to help Lu Ann land her balloon? Would she put Tommie out of her misery with a silenced handgun bought from the surly clerk in “Pearls Before Swine”?

    …Whoops, that’s regular Margo. My bad.

  64. Tracer Bullet
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    I like to think Tommie will spend her time alone engaging in a long, luxurious and ultimately unsatisfying weekend of masturbation.

  65. serpentineminer
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    This is but the second time I’ve posted here, and I do it to once again say:

    Tommie. Is. Going. On. A. Bender.

    ohpleaseohpleaseohplease.

    Additionally, Mr.T. Bullet, the week of masturbation storyline would be great.

  66. sabrechick
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke – Poodle Pimpin, the latest side job for meter readers.

    Prickly City – Simple, yet elegant. Or maybe just simple.

    Rex Morgan – Meanwhile, June puts an evil spell on Nikki, causing him to try to eat himself,. lips first.

    Slylock Fox – The one in the middle is different, because it only has another picture on ONE side of it.

    TDIET – “Comes it the junk mail”? Does this make the LEAST bit of sense? – anyhow, how would you know if junk mail was lost? For all Leadbutt knows there’s a stack of it with his name on it in the dead letter office.

  67. Chesnut
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    Maybe I’ve come to the comics scene late, but could someone please explain what “Plugger” is really supposed to mean, because there are neither visual or oral cues that suggest that plugger doesn’t mean more than “old” and “giant-stuffed-animal-like-creatures-who-is-incompetent-and-depressed.”

  68. Hap Hapless
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    Whaaa? No mention of Neddy in JP hitting the streets? Thats comment gold!

  69. Mibbitmaker
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    #19 (gh): David Spade?

    #43: Are you kidding? LuAnn can’t understand a block of wood.

    #51: I’m with you on FOOB, ChristyNell! Big time.

  70. Dick, the doorbell
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    OBH – I’m thinkin’ the night before, Daddy read the kids “Hansel and Gretel”, and in his long-standing despair, has deluded himself into thinking it has a chance of working.

    Unbeknownst (Hooray! I get to use ‘unbeknownst’ in a sentence!) to Dad, Ruthie saw the glint come into his bloodshot eyes and the 7-watt bulb incandesce over his head during storytime, and has stashed a GPS.

  71. Booper
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    Josh — I would definitely buy a shirt with willethompson’s Ruthy art. You can hold me to that.

    A3G — Two words: Ella Byrd.

  72. Trotzenbonnie
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    #66-au contraire! Pluggers are optimistic in the face of disaster. Like keeping a smile on your face when it’s 5:27pm, you can’t figure out how to work the darned remote and ‘Wheel of Fortune’ is about to roll. (Pluggers remote–5 year old bear-like grandchild who will change the channel lest you should get your 500lb duff out of the Lazy Boy).
    Pluggers keeps smiling even though their arteries are choked with gristle and their heart rate is about 475 beats per minute and the plant is about to close because robots are smarter than they are. I swear.
    http://www.pluggers.com/chief/what.html

  73. Mibbitmaker
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    #60: Plugger Potrzebie. I love it!

    TDIET: Maybe Scaduto has his strip translated into Japanese, then back to English. Jimmy James from WNYX Radio had a similar experience once.

  74. Mibbitmaker
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    BBailey: So Killer can change races at will? Maybe that’s the solution to eliminating bigotry in our lifetime.

    OBH: There ought to be a law that comic strip creators must throw away their old joke books and come up with their own damn material. Comes with a National Pun Control Board, too.

    Marmaduke: Maxi Light and Power is a front for neo-nazis. They’re attempting to create a race of giant poodles! The plan fails when the dogs all surrender to themselves.

  75. Citric
    January 19th, 2007 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey seems to know a bit too much about Sarge’s showers. I’m beginning to think that it isn’t fighting that goes on in those big clouds, but something a bit more…uhhh…intimate.

    Speaking of which, since Marmaduke is about the size of both power guys, wouldn’t he split that poodle in half?

  76. poppinjay
    January 19th, 2007 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    My name is James Kim and I approve this helpless suburbanite message.

  77. Mibbitmaker
    January 19th, 2007 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    #73: I hope I phrased the BBailey snark correctly. Bigotry bad.

  78. Lenore
    January 19th, 2007 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    Do you know what would be awsome? If it was Gina, and in their combined loneliness, they both decided to give up on men and become lesbians. At least then Tommie would be mildly interesting.

  79. francois mitterand
    January 19th, 2007 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    Neddy “hitting the streets” in Paris suggests an updated Judge Parker version of “Irma LaDouce”.

  80. Joe
    January 19th, 2007 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    You know you’re a plugger if you get knocked up at 16 and don’t terminate the pregnancy because your father said he’d disown you if you don’t see it through. But hey, look at the bright side, when you go to the movie theater together in 60 years, you can laugh about how you both get the senior discount. That is, if you both live long enough for that to happen. Which is unlikely.

  81. willethompson
    January 19th, 2007 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    Josh – housekeeping note – the blue boilerplate at the bottom of the page needs the © info updated to 2007…

    (damn, I know that AND the NEC…)

  82. Harold
    January 19th, 2007 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers plan to avoid the pain, misery, loneliness, abuse, and fate-worse-than-death prolonged degeneration and decrepitude they would experience while spending their final years in a nursing home by dying of massive heart attacks at relatively young ages.

    (Hey, I guess that makes me a Plugger!)

  83. Scott
    January 19th, 2007 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    I was going to post a link to the picture I have of an inexplicably Black Killer that’s probably from the 70′s, but I see Smidge up in comment #33 has gone and beat me to linking to my own blog. Dang.

  84. Tukla in Iowa
    January 19th, 2007 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: For God’s sake, how hard is it to proofread ONE sentence?!

  85. Bitter Scribe
    January 19th, 2007 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    The Walkers, or whoever now does Beetle Bailey, may not have been responsible for Killer turning black. In an annotated Dilbert book, Scott Adams revealed that his syndicate colors the strips independently from him. This led to an awkward situation when someone decided to make a crooked security guard black.

  86. Sparky Ripsnort
    January 19th, 2007 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    Citric, I (briefly) lived w/ a rottweiller/ corgi crossbreed. As me father explained, w/ love all things are possible. Though I wish someone had filmed the conception, I could use a laugh.

  87. Loppie Scaduto
    January 19th, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    19 gh says: “Between Friends: FBoFW wannabe.”

    I can see that, as the drawing looks very much in the style of FOOB before LJ hired a phalanx of assistants. But it’s a throwback in other ways…

    Just now I reviewed the last month of BF. Y’know how many were painfully lame/unfunny? None. Y’know how many used puns for the punchline? None.

    A lotta people complaining about FOOB here will also tell you that it used to be a lot better, years ago. BF is upholding the standard that FOOB used to carry. LJ used to be able to make a strip like this…

  88. Dean Booth
    January 19th, 2007 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    A real Plugger would have taken his daughter to the drive in!

  89. Booper
    January 19th, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    #23 — I can’t get that image out of my head. Definitely COTW material.

  90. Red Greenback
    January 19th, 2007 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    “I’m so dull I ‘bore’ myself.” Nice subtle wordplay there, Tommie.

  91. reader-who-posts
    January 19th, 2007 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie and Peter Parker should get together and talk about how lonely they are while eating bon bons.

    TDIET: How dare those junk mail senders correctly address and stamp their mail!

    GT: It’s bad enough that every year we have to put up with Gil Thorp calling the playoffs “playdowns”. Now we’re supposed to believe that Gil doesn’t even know what the term ‘benched’ means. Either that or he’s a lying prick. I’m going to go with lying prick. I was amused with the fact that no one in the strip has any expression – it looks like they’ve all been botoxed.

    MT: Is that beaver carrying a human brain in it’s paws? That would be so awesome.

    FBOFW: If only that helicopter blade in the last panel had been about two feet lower.

  92. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 19th, 2007 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    #48 — I am heartened to see that somebody else out there reads Fred Basset. Even in this community of people who love comics-related minutiae, that comic never seems to get mentioned.

    Even this week, when Fred’s owner-couple won the FREAKING LOTTERY!! This is a far more significant plot development than anything that ever happened in FOOB, and, heck, might even be more significant than Garfield’s Jon building a successful relationship with Liz.

    Of course, after Wednesday and Thursday’s big news in the Bassetverse, today’s joke is a return to the sort of surreal minimalist zen not-really-a-joke type things that we’ve come to expect.

  93. macb
    January 19th, 2007 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    #26 If this is indeed the African-American officer, his name is Lt. Flap; when Mort Walker introduced him back in the ’70s, he was a thin-skinned “militant” who took offense at any vaguely condescending gesture or word from the white-bread denizens of the camp. What a militant graduate of the ’60s Black Power movement was doing with a commission in the U.S. Army Mr. Walker never bothered to explain. But apparently he thought blacks fell into two categories: “invisible” cooks, busboys, and latrine attendants muttering “yassuh, nosuh,” or “uppity” types who took offense at the drop of a hat. Over time, Walker, no doubt to show us how “tolerant” he was, made Flap a more sympathetic character than his white counterpart, the boob/asskisser Lt. Fuzz, bane of Snorkel and Halftrack.

    But I don’t think this is supposed to be Lt. Flap; for one thing, officers generally do not shower with enlisteds, for another, the facial features suggest Killer, just like Josh and several comix curmudge commentators have said.

    Question to self: why am I analyzing BB, a strip I’ve actively loathed for decades, on a Friday night, when my wife is waiting patiently in bed? I need to get a life…

  94. Red Greenback
    January 19th, 2007 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    I hope Daddy Dick don’t fetch Ol’ Miss “Browning”
    For beavers gotta gnaw down trees
    Your evil trap almost caused my drowning
    “Lucky” I didn’t chew off my right knee

    Making dams for my fam-il-y
    Let me understand your hostility
    I hope Rusty Trail makes you see the light
    And your daughter’s tears make everything all right

    Seems all young beavers need to build a lodge
    A union of man and bears and woodchucks
    A time you ne’er feel the need to dodge
    Friends together watching ubiquiducks

    “Friends”
    Words by: Bernie taupin – Music by: Elton John
    © 1970 Dick James Music Limited

  95. Poteet
    January 19th, 2007 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    # 34 — I like it, Gadge. (And to continue willethompson’s Shirley Bassey theme — He loves moles…OWN-ly moles…only moooooooles!!!)

  96. Binky Betsy
    January 19th, 2007 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    # 82: On the first occasion of MLK Day, the Newark Star-Ledger printed all characters on the comics page African-American. So Lt. Flap was as he was, Franklin from Peanuts was as he was, and…uh…I think that was it.

    # 92: Lt. Fuzz*: What do you prefer to be called: Black, Negro or colored?

    Lt. Flap: Lieutenant.

    *the blond farmboy, not to be confused with Zero, who is a complete hick

  97. Jonathan Bogart
    January 19th, 2007 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    #91. Skullturf:

    I know! I was going to wait to see if anything happened today before I started freaking out about the Basset owners’ sudden acquisition of wealth, but I guess a two-strip continuity was as much as Michael Martin and Arran Graham (yes, it takes two people to produce it) could handle.

    Fred Basset: a gentle, opaque oasis of non-humor in the middle of a raging, batshit-insane hurricane of non-humor.

  98. Red Greenback
    January 19th, 2007 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    #93-OK, I admit, kinda saccharine, not unlike the original I swiped from. I’m gonna re-work “Friends” with the penultimate line being:
    “Like the “Top Secret” bamboo two-car garage”-soon come.

  99. queek
    January 20th, 2007 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    73: they are, after all, French poodles.

    (OT) I had a very weird concept hit me this evening, and I could think of no better place to mention it than this den of musical insanity.

    “Lola”, as sung by Bob Dylan.

  100. fishmorgjp
    January 20th, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    Before they changed his hairstyle, Lt. Flap used to have a big spherical Afro. There was one strip where Sarge was cleaning his gun and it went off, sending a bullet right through Flap’s hair (!), which then deflated like a beach ball. Upset, Lt. Flap cried out, “You killed my Afro!”

  101. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 20th, 2007 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    #96: LMAO LMAO LMAO @ your comment

    “Fred Basset: a gentle, opaque oasis of non-humor in the middle of a raging, batshit-insane hurricane of non-humor.”

    That’s just what I’ve been trying to say all this time but you said it better than I ever could.

  102. Red Greenback
    January 20th, 2007 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    #98-
    I meddern’ a CLUB down ‘n ol’ so-HO!
    Where you drink cham-PAGNE! an’ it tastes jus’ like ric-cola [damn:
    emphysema]
    dextromethorphan
    She walked up to ME and she asked me to DANCE
    I asked her her NAME and in an indigo voice she said Joan
    J-O-A-N Joan Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo Joan…Quite impossible, queek!

  103. Red Greenback
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    I met her in a club the sun was shinin’,
    I was layin’ in bed
    Wond’rin’ if she’d drink champagne
    If she tastes just like cherry-cola.
    Her folks they said in a dark brown voice
    Sure was gonna be physical
    They never did like Mama’s shook up world
    Papa’s not the worlds most passionate guy.
    Well we drank champagne on the side of the road
    Under electric candlelight
    Heading out, I pushed her away
    Lord knows that I want it to stay,
    I got down on my knees.

    She was a man when we first met
    Soon to be divorced
    She walked like “just like a woman”, I guess,
    But she sat me on her knee.
    She drove that car she nearly broke my spine
    Abandoned it out West
    Its a mixed up muddled up shook up dark sad night
    Both agreeing it was best.
    She turned around to look at me
    As I was walkin’ away
    I heard her say over my shoulder,
    “But I know what I am and Im glad Im a man,”
    Tangled up in Lola.
    Lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
    Lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola…Damn!!!I give up! (DT)GT and (GT)DT

  104. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:48 am [Reply]

    More Bobness:

    Oh, Barfo said to Migraina, turn the game on
    ‘Graina said, man, you must be puttin’ me on
    Barf said no, ‘Graina said what?
    Barf say, howizzit you can watch a soap op’ra but
    then ev’ry time I ask you to turn on my game you go and run…
    Ook-ook that’s cuz those wacky women, they turn on a dime
    And Al tells ya, they’ll do it every time!

    Well, Loppie Jr., backwards baseball cap on
    Pre-ripped jeans and a KICK BUTT shirt on
    Catastra’s for the rubber ward, the urge to smack him but good
    Meanwhile, Mr. Suit the salesman, he’s dressed better’n they would
    It only goes to show ya, ol’ Al’s in his prime
    And just like he sez, they’ll do it every time!

    Well Mack the Finger said to Louie the King,
    “I got 40 red white and blue shoestrings
    And a thousand telephones that don’t ring.
    Do you know where I can get rid of these things?”
    And Louie the King said, “let me think for a minute, son…”
    Then he said, “You know who would know what a ridiculous crime
    This is? It’s Al – they’ll do it every time!”*

    * Note: much of this verse is the same because the situation is pretty much one Scaduto would come up with.

    Now young daughter Lula on her prom night
    Told her teeth-clenching father that something weren’t right
    Aunt Flo, she says, is much too late
    He said, was it that damned Loppie, I’ll fasten his gate!
    He said, just wait till your sainted mother hears what you’ve done!
    But the sainted mother was enjoyin’ KICK BUTT-boy’s prime
    It’s just like Al tells ya, they’ll do it every time!

    Now Lugbutt had been drinkin’ at his favorite bar
    And eatin’ SQUID LINGUINI from a box, in his car
    When who should he meet, in a bent-fender dance
    But Arfo, the guy who sold him insurance
    And as they were jawin’, their cars both went up in flame
    But the jibber-jabs were okay, who got killed? Just a mime!
    Thus spake Big Al Scaduto: they’ll do it every time!

    (Clue for the clueless: that would be “Highway 61 Revisited”)

  105. Dicky
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:48 am [Reply]

    87 – Aren’t there sinister implications to bring someone, especially your “daughter,” to the drive-in? I always think of them as bastions of sin and depravity. And are any drive-ins still around?? That would be fun~

    74 – Nah, it’s just your basic fat joke… Though I would probably accept the theory that the army would accept a same-sex relation as long as the only physical interaction between the members was as violent as that between Beetle and Sarge.

  106. Mr. O’Malley
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    MW: Is this supposed to be a dream? In the first panel Mary is about 15 or 20 feet tall, able to peer into second floor windows. In the second panel she’s shrunk down to about 7 feet, but she’s still going to bang her head on the doorway.

    No wonder the strip is moving so fast. Something ghastly is going to happen in a few more days. Then Mary’s going to wake up in her bed at Charterstone and say “Ella was certainly right about listening to your dreams! Thank God I never acted on that crazy impulse to go to Vietnam!”

  107. Mr. O’Malley
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    TDIET: The federal government invites people to join the armed forces … BUT … start up your own private army … and it’s GANGBUSTERS!

    The IRS takes money out of people’s paychecks … BUT … you steal from your employees and it’s ELIOT NESS!

    The state government executes criminals … BUT … you shoot your neighbor for blowing leaves while you’re trying to nap and it’s DICK TRACY!

    The federal government maintains a stockpile of nuclear weapons … BUT …

    Oh, I give up, this is too easy!

  108. cvk
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    You know, my dog is a BOY Poodle, and this is just another example of Poodle sexism. He gets called “she” all the time by random strangers.

  109. Mr. O’Malley
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    SlyFo: You forgot to shave the beaver’s leg!

  110. Erika
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    when I saw that someone was “knocking at Tommie’s door,” I hoped it was Mr. Butts or maybe his friend Mr. Jay. . . but alas no, it was that skank Gina from down the hall. Poor Tommie will never get to mellow out, not with high strung Gina there. High strung, unsexy, unfun Gina.

  111. jnik
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    That’s definitely Killer in the shower. I think his darkening was an accident. Regarding his ethnicity; I’d guess since he first appeared in the all-white 1950′s, he may have been Mort Walker’s nod to Jerry Lee Lewis.
    Half a century later, Walker tried to make the strip look a little more ethnically diverse. Besides adding Lt. Flap and Cpl. Yo, he gave the enlisted men ethnicities.
    Beetle: Irish.
    Sarge: German.
    Killer: Hispanic.
    Rocky: Italian. ( What Else?)
    Plato: Greek
    (He didn’t say what Zero and Cosmo were).

  112. Mibbitmaker
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    1/20: FOOOOOOOOB HELLLLLLLL!!
    (told ya)

    Hey, Warren in panel 5! You blew your chance in panel 3! Idiot!

    Yes, a popular prediction came true, so now Warren’s ruined, too. Scheming, betraying-yet-thinking-you’ll-get-love Lynn – I mean, Warren.

    Well, at least the look of horror on St. Liz’s face was worth it. Or not.

    Bring on the creep…..

  113. Mr. O’Malley
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    Some neighbors of mine have a black poodle that doesn’t get subjected to topiary. He looks like he might once have belonged to Peter Tosh. Very masculine look.

  114. Red Greenback
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    Elvis in the high rise
    Cooking up the methedrine
    I’m in the tenement
    Thinking how to pay the rent
    June’s with a stolen purse
    lookin’ to be reembursed
    Says she’s got a get tough
    Wants to get it paid off
    Look out kid
    It’s somethin’ you hid
    God knows why
    Desperation, had to survive
    You bought a Genoa salami
    Lookin’ to stoke your mommy
    Mom with the Brillo fright wig
    In the pig pen
    Wants eleven dollar bills
    You only got ten

    June finds out fast
    Got that little shit at last
    Big inconvenience
    Like when Frank built my fence
    Then Buck saved the day
    DMV is such a pain
    These fools in line, I need a crane
    Fold my hands and pray for rain.?
    Look out kid
    Don’t matter what you did
    Walk on your tip toes
    Please try “No Doz”
    Better stay away from those
    That carry around a broom handle
    Keep a clean garage
    Watch out for the broom barrage
    You don’t need a registered hurse
    To know where to place that bandage…

  115. Mibbitmaker
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:56 am [Reply]

    1/20:

    A3G: “Dowdy spinster role”. Now that’s gotta hurt! Gina’s got Tourettes of the Tact.

    S-M: Lockhorns-by-way-of-FW.

    FC: Gay lessons (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

    Garfield: …Nice cats have normal sized feet!!

    Rhymes w/ Orange: Did one of those labels actually say “hummers”? And I’m certain nobody here is thinking of the quasi-military vehicle, either.

  116. Red Greenback
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:56 am [Reply]

    HURSE???…registered NURSE! shit! I go sleepy-bye bye now.

  117. Red Greenback
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:09 am [Reply]

    MW: “And who’s Peggy?” Sorry,couldn’t pass this up without the obvious obligatory Firesign riff.

  118. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:17 am [Reply]

    (to the tune of the Knack’s only hit)

    Why’s your comic such a stretch
    Such a stretch
    When I read it makes me retch, Al Scaduto!

    Showing us you’re out of touch
    Out of touch
    Do you read the papers much, Al Scaduto!

    Never give it up, silly strip, I get sick of it
    But I’ll soon be back, you know that, I could never quit
    Al, Al, Al, Al, Al, Woo!
    M-M-M-My Scaduto!

    (I should write more, but it’s late…)

  119. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:26 am [Reply]

    #102 Red Greenback, I tip my hat to you — pretty frickin’ clever.

  120. Mr. O’Malley
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:42 am [Reply]

    Curmudgeon, spare that Foob!
    Mock not a single pun!
    In youth it amused Gadge “Cube”,
    So hands off, everyone.
    ‘Twas my forefather’s paperboy
    That placed it near his door:
    There, curmudgeon, do not toy,
    Thy jests we’ll bear no more!

    That old familiar Foob,
    Whose glory and renown
    Are spread o’er net and YouTube,
    And wouldst thou snark it down?
    Curmudgeon, forbear thy snip!
    Mock not its Canadian capers;
    Oh, spare that aged strip,
    Now in more than 2000 papers!

    When but an idle boy
    I sought its drawn-out plot;
    In imitative joy
    To my sister gave a swat.
    My mother read with cheer;
    My father found it bland –
    Forgive this foolish tear,
    But let that old strip stand!

    My heart-strings round thee ring,
    Like model trains, old chum!
    Here shall young April sing,
    And Liz wed the Cinnamon Bum.
    Old strip! the Kelpfroths smite!
    Curmudgeon, let Paul rot:
    While I’ve a novel to write,
    Thy snarks shall mock it not.

    (Tune: Woodman, Spare that Tree)

  121. Donald The Anarchist
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:48 am [Reply]

    Shylock Fox How F&#$ing condescending. This is what YOUR drawing looks like!!! We show you how todraw a beaver, and it looks like a kitten!!! I know I’m reading way too much into it, but still!

  122. NJP
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:54 am [Reply]

    So, now Elrod goes to great pains to point out that the beaver in Mark Trail is shaved. Is he totally unaware of the innuendoes he’s been playing with during the “Lucky” plot, or is he the dirtiest old man in America?

  123. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:57 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp scares me. Not in a “Condileeza Rice in an ocelot-print teddy” sort of way but it just scares me. When two poorly-drawn characters share a room with a tastefully-drawn lamp, expect nothing but trouble to ensue.

  124. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:58 am [Reply]

    btw, in my mind, the Gil Thorp character named Brynna is in actually Chiclet Howitzer, master spy and pastry chef.

  125. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:02 am [Reply]

    It’s either a poor execution of perspective or Mary Worth not only towers above the Vietnamese, she towers over their buildings. Years from now, I expect children at the peace village to beg their parents to tell them again the story of the 50-foot silver beaver.

  126. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:03 am [Reply]

    #123 actually = actuality

    Damn.

  127. Mr. O’Malley
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:20 am [Reply]

    Tommie—get a computer and start doing some Dylan parodies, and the weekend will be over before you know it!

  128. Goaty
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:26 am [Reply]

    Whoever predicted that Saturday’s FOOB was even worse than the rest of this week was so freakin’ dead on. Looks like mustache-rides in Liz’s future. At least she deserves it.

  129. Stacia
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:59 am [Reply]

    #127 – You said it. It’s more than a little disturbing to see how hot Liz looks when she’s being cheerfully dissed, however. And as much as I dislike her, I don’t care for the strong “you brought this on yourself” and “you should only mix with your own kind” currents running through the strip. Bleah.

  130. Mibbitmaker
    January 20th, 2007 at 5:01 am [Reply]

    I AM THE WALRUS-BUTT
    by Not the Beatles

    He loves Liz and he loves Liz
    And they love Liz and they are all pathetic
    See how she ran from the Mtigians
    See how she flew.
    We’re sighing.
    Sitting at the ‘airport’,
    Waiting for the man to come
    Helicopter transport (stupid bloody Johnston!)
    Man! You’ve been a dotty girl
    You strung your men along.

    She is the dregs, man (woo)
    They are forsaken (woo)
    She loves the ‘Moustache’. FOO ON YOU, FOOB!

    MtigGuffin policeman waiting
    Former stalking policeman not in tow
    See how she fled, like Eric out of bed,
    See how she run.
    I’m sighing – I’m siiiigh(oooooooo)
    It’s trying! It’s tryyyyyyy-yyyyy…

    “Does it matter?” Busted!
    April made their dead dog die.
    Model training’s dense wife’s
    Saintly-Foober priestess,
    Boy, you’ve been a vapid girl
    You let your readers down.

    She is the dregs, man! We are forsaken.
    She loves the ‘Moustache’ FOO ON YOU, FOOB!

    Sitting in the family basement
    Waiting for no one
    If a life don’t come, you get up and go
    Running back to Mtig pain.

    She is the dregs, man! We are forsaken.
    She loves the ‘Moustache’
    FOO ON YOU, FOOB; FOO-PHOOEY ON FOOB!
    POO-POO!

    Love life expert? Hokey Joker!
    Don’t you think the Karma laughs at you?
    (hoo-hoo-hoo! hee-hee-hee! barf-barf-barf!)
    See natives smile, like just “their own kind”
    See how they’re snide.
    She’s crying.
    Lizardbreathy bitch-bird, sitting in a rising copter
    Horny Warren flyboy saying, “I knew ’bout it”
    Man, you should’ve seen Liz
    Kicking Warren in the ass!

    Lynn is the dregs, man! Liz is forsaken.
    But not the ‘Moustache’!
    FOO ON YOU, FOOB! FOO-PHOOEY ON FOOB!
    POO-POO!

    (later, in another song)
    (“Crass Onion”)

    I’ve got another bluff for you all:
    The cheater was Paul!

  131. Robert Whitaker Sirignano
    January 20th, 2007 at 5:17 am [Reply]

    You know you’re a plugger if you look like road kill that can walk.

  132. Mibbitmaker
    January 20th, 2007 at 5:21 am [Reply]

    #127: Goaty, the actual strips were available from a site that carries FOOB earlier this week. It’s since been found out and taken off, but, for a while, they had links on the FOOBiverse Journal blog.

  133. Goaty
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:19 am [Reply]

    It annoys the crap out of me that FOOB land keeps playing on the poor Liz-gets-betrayed-by-men theme that started with her college lover. (I”m sure they only held hands while they were living together tho). Only wonder-mustache hasn’t betrayed her…. I wonder if he’ll appear with a golden otter-like kwanza halo when next she casts her virginal doe-eyes on him again?

  134. Goaty
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    Oh…. and is anyone else but me hoping that when Mary shows up and finds the long lost doctor that he has his car going in and out of Greta’s driveway?

  135. willethompson
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    #129 – Mibbit, did you stay up all night writing that? If so, get a long nap this afternoon because you deserve it. Bravo!

  136. TurtleBoy
    January 20th, 2007 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    #30, B_C_A_B: Actually, “Maxi Light and Power” got their name from Jar-Jar Binks in Crapisode I. Their motto?: “Maxi big is our force!”

  137. TurtleBoy
    January 20th, 2007 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    Okay, I’ve got a confession to make.

    I’d never heard of TDIET my wifey (a CCer long before I was) pointed it out to me. “You won’t believe this $*@!” she said, and directed me to one particularly surreal installment.

    Ah, the whiplash-inducing anachronicity! Ah the bland, so-rarely-right-why-bother? humor! Ah, the Charterstone-social-night racial uniformity! It wasn’t long before I was hooked, and I joined everyone else in mocking Scaduto’s daily lunatic ramblings.

    But howzat?

    I…um…well…

    I kinda like the strip, okay?

    Sure, Scaduto is, to borrow the perfect expression du jour, batshit insane, but in a cool way. And I mean “cool” back when the term still meant something. “Cool” like Eartha Kitt and private-eye jazz. Cool like the Rat Pack. Cool like Sean Connery’s James Bond. Unlike Hi & Lois or Family Circus, Scaduto’s anachronistic/bland/racially-homogenous humor’s got a touch of class. He’s got the same sort of style I see in classic MAD artists like Don Martin, Jack Davis, and David Berg.

    Sure, he’s outdated, but that’s his schtick, and I’ll bet he lives the life too: I can see him waking up to a bloody Mary breakfast, then taking a lap or two in the Fountainebleu pool before settling into his studio for a day’s work, his pen and ink at the ready, a highball glass at his side, and Frank Sinatra crooning softly on the hi-fi set behind him. Jeffy Keane probably breaks the fast with Malt-O-Meal and Diet Coke and draws his lines to Barry Manilow.

    Rest assured, I will join you all in mocking TDIET, because…well…it’s often mockable. It’s often balls-to-the-wall crazy. You gotta love the endless squid entrées, the B&W flat-screen TV sets, the f***ed-up naming schemes. I’ll mock, and I’ll mean it.

    But I want you to know that despite the mockery, Al’s got his supporters.

    I…I…feel better now. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest…

  138. kilgore trout
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    In the last panel of today’s Adventures in Foobland, why is Liz trying to swallow Warren’s headphones?

  139. willethompson
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    I look at FBoFW today and I feel like my eyes have stepped in dog turds.

    WHERE in the Book of Human Behavior is it written that in order to catch on the rebound the skank what dumped you, you set up the rebound situation YOURSELF and then TELL HER that you worked her like a punch press, for it will certainly result in:

    1) her undying gratitude,

    2) her appreciation of your cleverness and

    3) helicopter oral sex that will make you scream “BELL-HUEY!” on approach.

    OK, that’s it. The gloves come off. Heretofore, the song parodies have been of (mostly) decent music that you might even have on your iPod, i.e. Dylan, Beatles, Kinks, Paul Simon, etc. I’m repaying hurt for hurt. Gird your grids or turn away NOW.

    (sung to the mindbendingly stultifying tune of Muskrat Looooove)

    Warren, dumbass, trilobite!
    Had the chance to do her right.
    Fear of Flying?
    I ain’t lying….

    Warren dirtbag, Warren fool!
    Coulda made her into a Warren tool!
    Coulda boffed her
    In the freakin’ ‘copter

    But hoping to taste her sweet mango
    He told her he’d set up this tango
    And Lizzie hates him ‘cause he’s a slug
    Looks like
    Moustache Loooooove

    (the next verse requires very little change – it’s as if The Captain and Tenille were the Nostradamae of FOOB…)

    Nibbling back bacon, chewing on cheese
    Anthony says to Lizzie honey, would you please be my missus?
    And she say yes
    With her kisses…

    And now he’s tickling her fancy
    Rubbing her toes
    Chained in the basement, now anything goes
    As they wriggle, and Lizzie starts to struggle

    Now she’s stocked and she’s locked in his cages
    Subject to his impotent rages
    Screaming to the heavens above
    Looks like
    Moustache Loooooove

    La da da da da …

    Another bucket for Mr. Creosote!

  140. Remus - (A Tater Tot Man)
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Josh – I have never been openly sycophantic on a blog before, but I have no idea how you continue to bring it so hard. Sensing a Fooberbean Hysteria well past its boiling point, after waiting just long enough to leave us slathering, you come correct with a one-two punch that first briefly touches on both, then cleverly divert us with completely fresh hilarity and snark form OBH, BB, A3g, MM and Pluggers. Bravo sir.

  141. True Fable
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    I for one am glad they quit running the little guy doffing his cap with “Thanx and a tip of the hat to…”

    For some reason that always annoyed me. Spell THANKS for crying out loud, and unnecessary artwork is redundant on a page that in all liklihood, also runs the Family Circus.

  142. Dean Booth
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    BC: I figured somebody had to do it so we could move on to other things.

  143. Squid Countess
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Have you read “The Bridges of Madison County” by Nicholas Sparks? I don’t mean are you familiar with the story or did you see the movie, I mean, have you read it, or any of his other books? Have you been victimized by his terrible word choice, nauseating metaphors, flat characterizations and stilted dialogue? Do you know that he writes shit? Well, if you don’t know him, take it from me, he makes Danielle Steele read like John Irving. I hate him so. The difference between his talent and his monetary success has kept me up nights.

    But not any more. Because I love Nicholas Sparks, I want to marry Nicholas Sparks and have his baby, compared to how I feel about Lynn Johnston. She should just die. Immediately and painfully. That is all.

  144. True Fable
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    No no, Squid Countess my pet. Let Lynn be cooked in the juices of her own cellulite, slowly and in agony, the way comics readers have suffered through her could-have-been-good strip all these years.

  145. compass rose
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    The song parodies are great – in particular, 53 Sound of Silence, 129 Walrus, and (god help me) 138 Muskrat Love, hit me just right.

    A plea to all you talented folks – Would you please post these things also on the Discussion Forum – Long Form section? They are worth a second and third look, and it’s hard to find them again in the dozens of posts.

    My low work productivity thanks you in advance.

  146. Frank Drackman
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Back in the day, Lt Flap would dress up as a pimp when he went out for the weekend, big floppy hat with a feather, loud jacket, and platform shoes..

  147. Islamorada Girl
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Actually, some other hack wrote Bridges of Madison County, but I’ve blocked his name forever from my memory.

    And. . . . Paul’s been eliminated from Liz’s own personal Turandot plot! Since there are no other single men in Canda, she’s got to pick Curtain Three, Mr. Cold Mashed Potatoes.

  148. Islamorada Girl
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Dammit! I meant Warren.

  149. Dean Booth
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Oops, in my last post it’s probably not clear that it is a link. Here it is again.

    Now my shame is doubled.

  150. Calico
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    Whoa – creepy shades of Truman Capote (3G) and Flannery O’Connor (OBH) there. All we need now is a Poe reference.

  151. Allie Cat
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Foob – Aw, jeez, Warren – you should have played it cool…you don’t stand a chance now!

    Any predictions on how long it’s going to be before Blandthony swoops in and saves our damsel from these no good cheatin’, lyin’ men?

  152. Remus - (A Tater Tot Man)
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    43- COTW nomination (if such a thing exists and in fact does not serve to eliminate said comments b/c Josh prefers to feel autonomous-)
    93 – no not up to your usual par Red, however it might be my inherent apathy of EJ – however I will admit that for the first time I went and listened to a sample just to get the tune of an unfamiliar song- because of your previous mastery and my faith in a Zappa fan’s taste. You have outdone yourself with the multiple songs on this post, including a superior Dylan (even to yesterday’s) and others, but
    Mr O Malley and Mibbitmaker take the prize so far in this meta…Wowzer. Isn’t it great that we live in a place where we can spend this much time on mocking the comics even so far as formulating lyrics…my my …
    MtiGuffin….BRILLIANT, Mibbitmaker.

  153. PurpleMartin
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: I think Plugger is another word for “WORKING CLASS”. It is more concentrated on the OLDER members of the working class because the younger ones don’t make enough for home ownership and drawing comics of kangaroos and bear people in their studio apartments eating a cold can of Spaghettio’s is even too depressing for Pluggers.

    FOOB: I find myself hopeful, that Warren with his helicopter, equals Lynn’s helicopter flying dentist husband, and that Liz will end up with Warren instead.
    After all Lynn married the helicopter pilot why not Liz?
    But then that is probably wishful thinking on my part.

    Beetle Bailey: People in the Army do not take showers in a communal shower area unless they are a) still in basic training or b) out in the field somewhere. Most live in apartments on the normal day to day basis. Is Beetle Bailey still in basic training after this long of a time?

  154. Lynngineering
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: Although I don’t really care anymore, Liz and Anthony ARE already the same person essentially (two sides of Lynn’s problem with men, women and having real relationships) the day that matters is going to be Valentine’s Day.

    And someone mentioned Anthony didn’t cheat on Liz, yeah well, but he did something incredibly stupid on a whole different level, he TRIED MARRIAGE OUT, HAD SEX without LIZ! – and by getting married to some obvious (and as in FOOB over-the-top foreshadowed with neon-lights obvious) “bad” woman, and then stupidly went for having a kid against even HER WISHES…

    I mean, the guy is used goods. Liz as we all know, is virginal…

  155. ChristyNell
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    129: John Lennon was singing that in my head. Well done.

    You guys make me so happy. I mean that.

  156. Colorado
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Anyone see today’s Curtis? What’s that she’s feeding her kids? Looks like steaming black bowls of tar…..

  157. Mike
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: People in the Army do not take showers in a communal shower area unless they are a) still in basic training or b) out in the field somewhere. Most live in apartments on the normal day to day basis. Is Beetle Bailey still in basic training after this long of a time?

    I’ve been on active duty for 17 years now and Beetle Baily confuses the heck out me, too. The uniforms are woefully out of date in such a way that they don’t even look like army uniforms from the 70′s. (Especially now that the basic headgear for everyone is a black beret nowadays)

    Also, since Sarge is a freaking E-7, a senior NCO, why is he living in the same barracks with these guys?

  158. NEW-ME
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Willethompson – You sir, should write a book!

  159. Hap Hapless
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    I wonder if Tommie has a pineapple shirt ?

  160. NEW-ME
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    #74 lol

  161. Squid Countess
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    #117 – Beavispants - For Christ’s sake, dude, I live by myself, you know! I could die from inhaling my breakfast. They say you can heimlich yourself using the back of a dining room chair, but I would probably just panic, run around in circles in the front yard and collapse. As it happens, the heimlich wasn’t required, I just had to clean a nasty mess of toast and grape jelly off my monitor. Be more careful in the future.

    #113 Red Greenback - When there is a CC convention, this will of course be the official double-dutch chant. But besides a great thing to jump rope to, does it have a tune?

    #138 -WilleThompson- Huh. I decided Theodore and Castoria’s love theme should be “Somewhere” from West Side Story. I forgot all about Muskrat Love. But really, Muskrat Love is more appropriate for the FOOB people. Theodore and Castoria have an innate nobility that calls for “Somewhere.”

    #146-Islamorada Girl I will be damned if you’re not right! Bridges of Madison County was by Robert James Waller, not Nicholas Sparks. Sheesh. Now I have to totally reorganize my hatred. Nicholas Sparks is not good, but I thought his crowning achievment of suckitude was “Bridges”…. At any rate, Lynn Johnston must die,

  162. Plinko Commie
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    There are other comix on my comix page, but I keep coming back to the Guantanamo Bay abuse scene that is FOOB.

    And can you blame me? We’ve got:

    * Liz apparently being the last person in Canada outside the Yukon Territory to know Paul and Susan were making a roadside stand. Seriously, when Liz gets home I expect April to ask her if Susan’s found a lube that warms quickly enough yet.

    * Warren going from nice guy chopper pilot to master of deceit to lovelorn schemer in such time that if I started cooking my Minute Rice in the beginning of the conversation and took it off the heat at the end, I’d be eating raw rice. I guess they don’t have enough time to spend on ol’ Warren Gee, I’m A Pilot And The Best I Can Do Is Yearn For That Patterson Shrew, so they’ll dispense of him post haste so as to let us get to the drawn out scene of the parents comforting her and at the same time boasting that Anthony killed an ugly spider at Gordon’s Garage and boy howdy, is he the catch of the day or what?

    * I like Warren’s Emotional Transitions lenses, going from clear when he’s being nice, dark when he’s being EEEEEEEEE-vil, and sorta dark on the outside and clear on the inside when he announces he wants her back, to let us know that he just MAY not be asking for her heart for all the right reasons. Or perhaps the glasses are a protective measure, first going pitch-black to blind him in vain hopes he backs off or at least mercy kills himself via Aldo-esque crash, then the black-rimmed lenses telling the world to mourn the passing of his mascultinity, for Warren is now p-whipped.

    * Bonus: I saw the most recent FOOB compilation at Barnes and Noble, where Liz is heading to WackyTobaccy, and April does in fact give her Gwampa’s diseased mouth organ. But what I liked was how John tried to convince her to get her job down on paper somewhere before she commits, and she remarks casually that “white guys like to have written contracts.”

    First of all, Lizard, you’re so white a piece of Wonder Bread made the cover of Essence last month because you were having a ham and mayo sandwich one day. Second of all, what white guys do YOU know? Michael, John and Gordon combine to provide the testosterone for an 8-year-old hermaphrodite, and then Anthony comes in and cancels the rest out. White guys. Like your job came with a racectomy. Killer’s more non-white than you. You know what else white guys like, Liz? Self-absorbed douchebags with too much makeup who abandon a small community that came to love and depend on them because they couldn’t handle the strain of being away from her lukewarm oatmeal family, then snap their fingers and expect a native son to drop everything in his life to wrap himself around their feet like a slightly-more manly version of Shiisma, then lust after their hearts for someone whose main accomplishment in life is somehow mustering up the sperm to create a life (though if it turned out that he snuck in a Dollar Tree turkey baster to do what he couldn’t, would YOU be surprised?), then coming back one more time to catch Paul with someone who DIDN’T demand he move to Winnipeg or something, bask in the reflected glow of a child’s pain and leave on Elly-level snarky comment.

    In reality, it’s been obvious for years that Liz and Anthony should be together. What’s become more evident is they should be together because they fail at life.

    YOU SUCK.

  163. Mr. Groovy
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    (Left this on the wrong thread last time…)

    So folks, it’s crappy songs you want. OK, here’s “Baby Got FOOB” by Sir Caine-a-Lot

    [Intro]
    Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
    It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
    one of those Patterson women.
    But, y’know, who understands those Canadians? *scoff*
    They only talk to her, because,
    she looks like a total virgin, ‘kay?
    I mean, her butt, is just so big. *scoff*
    I can’t believe it’s just so round, it’s like,
    out there, I mean – gross. Look!
    She’s just so … FOOB!

    [Sir Caine-a-Lot]
    I like FOOB butts and I can not lie
    You other readers can’t deny
    That when Liz walks in with a doughy waist
    And a round thing in your face
    You get brash, wanna feel her with your ‘stache
    ‘Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
    Deep in the jeans she’s walking
    I’m hooked and I can’t stop stalking
    Oh baby, I wanna page you
    And maybe cage you
    The Ojibways tried to warn me
    That with that FOOB butt I know you’ll scorn me
    Ooh, Rump-o’-FOOB-junk
    Some day I’ll stuff you in my trunk
    Well, use me, pinch me
    ‘Cause you ain’t no bitchy Frenchy
    I’ve seen them French abusers
    Say the hell with losers
    You’re round, shape,
    Got it goin’ like an 8-track tape
    I’m tired of other strips
    Showin’ girls with narrow hips
    Take the average Canuck and ask him that
    She gotta pack FOOB back
    So, John! (Yeah!) Mike! (Yeah!)
    Has your lady got FOOB butt? (Hell yeah!)
    Tell ‘em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
    Shake that healthy butt!
    Baby got FOOB!

    (Moose Jaw face with Ottawa booty)
    Baby got FOOB!

    [Sir Caine-a-Lot]
    I like ‘em round, and big
    I’m shaped like a pig
    I just can’t help myself, I’m actin’ like ol’ Farley
    So dead and gnarly
    I wanna get you home
    And ugh, lock the cage, ugh, ugh
    I ain’t talkin’ bout Mary Worth
    Just a Patterson with extra girth
    I want ‘em real thick and juicy
    To love my juicy stubble
    Caine-a-Lot’s in trouble
    Beggin’ for a piece of that bubble
    So I’m lookin’ at Room 3-G
    Knock-kneeded bimbos lookin’ like trees
    You can have them flat bellies
    I’ll keep my women like Elly
    A word to the Canuck sistas, I wanna get with ya
    I’ll moustache kiss ya
    But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna whine
    Til the break of dawn
    Cause my life’s gone wrong
    A lot of Frogs won’t like this song
    ‘Cause them chicks like to birth it and turf it
    And I’d rather stay and play
    ‘Cause I’m dull, make you yawn
    And I’m down to get the laundry on
    So, ladies! {Yeah!} Look up! {Yeah}
    If you wanna roll in my pickup {Yeah!}
    Then turn around! Stick it out!
    Even Yank boys got to shout
    Baby got FOOB!

    Baby got FOOB!
    Yeah, baby … when it comes to females, Macleans ain’t got nothin’
    to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if it’s centimetres.

    [Sir Caine-a-Lot]
    So your boyfriend loses focus, playin’ around with Susan Dokis
    But Dokis ain’t got a motor in the back of her tokus
    My anaconda don’t want none
    Unless you got FOOB buns, hun
    You can do Warren or Paulie,
    But don’t lose that FOOB butt
    Some constables wanna play that “hard” role
    And tell you that FOOB butt ain’t gold
    So they toss it and leave it
    And I pull up quick to retrieve it
    They call you a selfish rat
    Well I ain’t down with that!
    Cause I’m loyal, like a beagle
    Too bad April isn’t legal
    To the beanpole dames in Winkerbean:
    You ain’t it, Miss Thing!
    Give me April’s sista, I can’t resist her
    Kraft dinner didn’t miss her
    Stupid Warren tried to dis
    ‘Cause his girl is on my list
    He had game but he chose to fool ‘er
    And I pull up quick to school ‘er
    So ladies, if the butt is FOOB,
    And you want a Rated G dull boob,
    Dial 1-900-CAINE-A-LOT
    And kick them boring thoughts
    Baby got FOOB!

    (Very stuck up but she got much FOOB) [4x]

  164. Robert Whitaker Sirignano
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    I suspected that Warren knew about Lizardbreath’s “boyfriend” (what? she falls in love after seeing him, five? six times?) and now has over played his hand, and may wind up at the end of a foobian rage.

    The copter may crash, we hope.

  165. BoShek
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    I also think Warren has blown his chance at thawing that stone-cold heart by being too hasty. No wait, not stone-cold. Lukewarm. A room temperature heart that’s starting to smell a little off and will probably never be truly good for anyone anymore. Perfect for Anthony. Absolutely perfect.

    Poor Warren. Lynn spent so much time gleefully implying Paul’s being taken out of the running and Warren just says something stupid out of the blue and…

    Bring on the pornstache.

  166. Goaty
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Muskrat love was outstanding. Hear hear!

  167. commodorejohn
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    #129 – And the brilliant, brilliant Beatles parodies keep on comin’.

    Argh, it’s like Johnston is writing FOOB to piss me off personally. Every twist and turn of this intestine of a plot angers me further. Way back in the day, when I was a kid doodling on church bulletins while the service dragged on, I gave thought to becoming a comic artist, but then I’d look at strips like Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side and realize that I had nothing on those guys in terms of comic talent. But now, after years and thousands of dollars in student loans spent in pursuit of my other love, computer science, I look at strips like FOOB and realize that if this vapid dreck could make it on the comics page, if a hack “writer” like Johnston could be a successful comic artist, I probably could have done it all along. Damn you, Lynn.

  168. teacherspet
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    #63: QUOTE: I like to think Tommie will spend her time alone engaging in a long, luxurious and ultimately unsatisfying weekend of masturbation.

    If that’s the case, it’s unlikely that she’ll answer the door with a “Coming!”

  169. Nyssa23
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    A repost of my FOOB parody since it goes much better on this thread (also posted to the forum for your convenience):

    CINNAMON CRUMBS
    (to the tune of “Cinnamon Girl.” Appy polly logies to Mr. Neil Young)

    I want the ‘stache
    With the cinnamon crumbs,
    I could be happy
    The rest of my life
    With the cinnamon crumbs.

    The pilot of copters
    I left in the lurch,
    Now he’s weepin’ for me
    From his airy perch,
    Ah, cinnamon crumbs!

    Two gorgeous boyfriends
    Chase my big ol’ hips,
    But how does their love end?
    I wait with pursed lips
    For my cinnamon crumbs.

    The cop with his big gun
    I left in the sticks,
    Now he will be able
    To bang native chicks,
    Ah, cinnamon crumbs!

    Ma, let me come home now
    Can’t be alone anyhow
    I need a foobish beau!
    You see, your Lizzie’s scared to grow
    Yeah, yeah, yeah…

  170. Lynngineering
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Ok as long as floodgates are opened again:

    I think some subjects depend on what Lynn gets in terms of Canadian support. There was a time she was like a high-school book on the wonders of Mitwhateverland, and all the native culture, with special website sections, and then that dropped off. So Lynn was having Liz give off that “white-culture” ‘tude mentioned at one point, and then that was over, and it was “Liz is BACK” with a thirst for revenge on all men, while at the same time she seems to be screaming out for a good, hard lay.

    Which is precisely what Anthony can not manage. He is able to fight as we have seen, he has apparently some RAGE issues, but to do the dirty with Liz, not in the FBOFW time period. They will end up together “romantically” on Valentines Day.

    I would like to see once all those ousted “bad” female-characters together in some kind of gang – the girl that worked at the store, who was “stealing” from Elly, Anthony’s ex-wife Therese, and so on, get them to terrorize the town.

  171. Old Fogeyette
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Just checking in for a moment. I haven’t had time to read the posts, but it’s easy to skim and just hit the parodies, which are achieving new heights of greatness!

    Not that anyone cares, but I’ve stopped reading Lio, and it’s made my days much sunnier.

    Things look a little brighter also for Theodore and Castoria, now that they have been identified as pets.

    And I LOVE LOVE LOVE OBH! Ruthie rocks!

  172. Richard Onley
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    #143 Squid Countess: “Have you read ‘The Bridges of Madison County’ by Nicholas Sparks?”

    Actually, it’s by Robert James Waller, and no. Nicholas Sparks wrote the book on which the Rob Lowe/Mandy Moore sudser A Walk to Remember was based, which edged out Mr. Holland’s Opus on my list of the most mawkish movies I’ve ever seen, for a solid #2 position behind perennial reigning champion The Trial of Billy Jack. Fans of Le Cinema du Mal should try convincing LJ to strart writing screenplays . . .

  173. SuzanneLurks
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Mr Groovy!

    I am speechless in the face of your eloquent prose in praise of the ample FOOB posterior. Someone should cut a cover version of it – another great marketing opportunity, Josh.

    Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all these thoughts actually were lurking beneath Anthony’s bland exterior?

    Next FOOB strip, I want to see Anthony featured. The clock shows 3 am, he’s hot and sweaty, moustache moistened, tangled in the sheets, tossing and turning beneath thought bubbles filled with visions of Liz’s butt.

    That’s what I want. Just that and MW walking in on her good Doctor makin’ bacon with the locals.

  174. Calico
    January 20th, 2007 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    #162 Plinko – there goes my flat screen monitor, splattered with wine thanks to your “mouth organ” snark.
    That’s right, wine. Liz is driving even me to drink earlier and earlier each day. Think I’ll have some cheese with that.

  175. Poteet
    January 20th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    # 130 — Excellent, o maker of mibbits! No reflection on the parodies for which I don’t remember the originals, but this one rings in my memory and you twisted it well.

    # 137 — Turtleboy, me too. And besides, there was a link to a photo of Scaduto on this site awhile back, and I like his photo. What can I say.

    # 139 — BWAHAHA! Thanks, wille. That first sentence is a COTW contender, and the song is great. I once saw a pair of muskrats playing in our creek, the first muskrats I’d ever seen, and they really were appealing, but the pastoral moment was RUINED by the Captain and Tenille.

    And I’m bookmarking a couple of of online thesauruses and several foreign-language sites, because it’s clear that by the end of September, I’m going to need several hundred more words that mean “vomit.”

    # 161 — Yes, Squid Countess, it was Waller. I’ve had a personal dislike for Waller, since he’s from Iowa and I followed his writing career from back when he was teaching at UNI and doing occasional newspaper essays and the odd book (that weren’t as good as he obviously thought they were) to the time when he used his BRIDGES earnings to buy a large ranch in Texas that some said was barely big enough to hold his ego. But compared to how I feel about Lynn, Waller now gets a pass.

    # 169 — Har har! Thanks, Nyssa.

  176. don hosek
    January 20th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    171 – Oh, but the cloudiness of Lio is pure joy, even if the L.A. Times never could figure out whether it was supposed to be Lío or Liô and eventually settled on Lio. Alas, somebody needs to bitch-slap the comics editor around and get rid of Tundra which fills the spot vacated by Foxtrot. Now that’s an awful comic strip.

  177. Me Fail English?
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    On this anonymous forum I’ll admit that I don’t have a clue as to what’s grammatically incorrect about “Your know you are really a plugger…” Could anyone enlighten this caveman?

  178. Dicky
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    Candorville – I dislike that I had to look up what track 8 was of the Clay Aiken Christmas album.

    FOOB – My god. It was worse than I could have ever imagined… So utterly wrong… I didn’t read them last week when they showed up, but still…

    137 – “his lines”? Why do I instantly get the image of Keane snorting cocaine?

    172 – No. That was pretty Shane West, not Rob Lowe.

  179. don hosek
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    “Your” is a possessive (it means “belonging to you”). It should read “You know you are really a plugger…”

  180. Ribinin
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    177 – Whoever-you-are – The first word should be “Youse”

  181. Ukulele Ike
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Last night in my deepest sleep a man came to me on a flaming pie, drew back the curtain of the Future, and foretold what was to happen in next week’s FBOFW.

    Liz will return to the suburbs of Toronto, sorrowfully kiss Helicopter Pilot off for not warning her about the Pusan comingling of tawny Native limbs, and go to visit Granthony.

    He will appear at the door shirtless, with a damp towel around his neck and a few dabs of lather on his face, having SHAVED OFF THE MOUSTACHE.

    “Anthony….you…you’re beautiful!

  182. sabrechick
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Baby Blues – Maybe its just because I’m making some career choices right know but this one strikes home. Work hard and exert yourself for a dream – or take the easy route and settle for a quiet, ordinary life?

    Crock – Poopie Pops???

    Curtis – “I’m sure I don’t know?” Nice to have such a certainty in your

    Dinette Set – What IS it that makes cartoonists think that simply mentioning Octopus in a strip makes it funny?

    Marvin – Until now the racial portrayal of Ming has not bothered me – until now when for no reason other than race she is shown as owning a Panda teddy bear. (rather than the standard black or brown bear type).

    The Phantom – “That bag of bones is Old Man Mozz? Somehow I pictured him as much younger” MORON!!!

  183. Uncle Lumpy
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    #177 Me Fail -

    Well, “your know. . . ” is wrong because “your” is the possessive, meaning “of or belonging to you.” So the sentence as written would mean, “The ‘you are really a plugger’ that belongs to you if you go to the movies. . . .” Which makes no sense in a rather spectacular way!

    But that’s not what the caption said. Its language, “you’re know. . . ” is wrong because “you’re” is a contraction of “you are.” So the sentence would mean “You are know you are really a plugger. . . .” Which makes no sense in a dull, lifeless way.

    The place where pronouns and contractions wash up on the beach and interbreed is a strange and terrifying land, overrun with tiny monsters. But don’t worry, you’ll get it – just keep . . . er . . . well just keep working at it.

  184. Anonymous
    January 20th, 2007 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    OK, I give up. I confess that I don’t understand today’s BC, apart from the fact that he ruined a Charles Addams cartoon. Can anyone help? (Thanks in advance for wasting time looking at and writing about a Johnny Hart production.)

  185. Frank Drackman
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Re “Beetle Bailey”‘s use of the word “Divine” the other day..I don’t think I’ve seen that word in the funny pages since Calvin and his Tiger Hobbes sang a duet about the greatness of Tigers. It was funny with Calvin, with Beetle Bailey its just gay.

  186. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    Why did they have to put Sarge in for the gay innuendo? Why not the latino Killer (woof) or that guy with the shades who always took bets? Hell, I’d even settle for the stupid guy. At least you know he’d have a big schlong*.

    * – Little known fact of gayness: the worse the job, the stupider the man, height/weight ratio to natural teeth, the bigger the schlong. If you meet a Harvard-educated lawyer who works on K Street, it’ll be 4 inches. If you meet a garage mechanic’s assistant who’s 6’5″, weighs 140#, with ten teeth, it’ll be eleven and the girth of a Radio Shack flashlight with D batteries (AppleGirl, remember this!)

  187. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    Dingo wishes to remind you that he’s either unemployed or a Wal-Mart employee at the moment.

    But does this mean if he gets a good job, his, uh, prospects diminish?

  188. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    #181 Ukulele Ike: “Pusan”?

  189. Nick D
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    Did anyone notice that the Major in Beetle Bailey was black today? Is this a trend? Who’s next Cpl Yo?

  190. TB Tabby
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    I just want to say that today’s Get Fuzzy made me laugh out loud.

  191. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 20th, 2007 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    #137 TurtleBoy — I know what you mean about TDIET. Good call on Scaduto actually being kinda “cool” in that mid-20th century Mad Magazine sort of way. I’d rather have Scaduto as my grandfather than, say, Mort Walker or Mell Lazarus — and I’d certainly prefer him over Bil Keane!

    And I wouldn’t expect my real grandfather, who I loved and respected, to have known who Andre 3000 or Dane Cook are, for instance.

    I guess, despite the fact that I threw the word “retch” into my song parody, if I really hated a strip I wouldn’t read it, wouldn’t pay any attention to it at all, and certainly wouldn’t take my screen name from it.

    Incidentally, TurtleBoy, did I tell you that one of the many many jobs I’m applying for in 2007 is at UNC Greensboro?

  192. Old Fogeyette
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    186: Dingo, that’s the most interesting factoid I’ve ever seen in this remarkably informative blog. I wish I’d known it when I was younger.

  193. reader-who-posts
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    I hate to say I told you so – that’s a lie, actually I love doing that – but way back when this plot started I wrote (on Jan 7):

    ‘FBOW: This is going to kill two mustache-less birds with one stone. Not only will she find Paul with some little native chickadee, but then it will be revealed that Warren knew and that’s why he brought her back early. After realizing this I threw up in my mouth a little.’

    Now that it has happened EXACTLY like I said it would, I threw up in my mouth a second time.

    TDIET: W-W-WAA? A TDIET that I actually agree with? Damn it, I threw up in my mouth again!

    A3G: I think Tommie needs a dictionary to look up that strange word “fun”.

    Mallard Fillmore: That joke is wrong on so many levels, with the primary ones being that it seems vaguely racist and was told by a duck.

    MT: ‘Treat the hurt place’? Sounds like the doctor got a little too familiar with that beaver.

    The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee: Hmm. Actually, no they haven’t (and being someone who has spent the last year working on projects related to tighter emissions restrictions I should know).

    GT: Why does Jefferson have “Jeffs” on their jerseys? Are they the Jefferson Jeffs?

    Hi & Lois: How would having a GPS tell you where the ball is help you bowl? And just how slow is he throwing the ball that they can have this conversation during his throw, he throws it, and then pulls out his GPS thingamajig while the ball is still only five feet away? And since he fouled in the first panel and he’s going to get zero anyway, who cares?

  194. MrP
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Actually, I think they’re finally turning Killer into a Mexican. They don’t have a Hispanic guy in there yet, do they?

    And, hell, that makes perfect sense. He always did look as Hispanic as a Mort Walker character can.

  195. MrP
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    As for Pluggers: They’re finally realizing that Pluggers are a dying breed. Today’s youth are all about the information-gathering and the edumacating and all the stuff that’s just un-Plugger-like. So sad.

  196. Ukulele Ike
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Paul + Susan = Pusan.

    People Magazine mathematics!

  197. TurtleBoy
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    #191, Skullturf, re UNCG: see…hmm…the thing is, I’m kinda on the market again, too. Not lookin’ anywhere near York, though, so it couldn’t possibly be a “trading places” kind of deal. I haven’t applied many places, for various reasons probably best-not-discussed in (or at least not-at-all-relevant to) this forum.

    Hey, I was wondering why you and D. E. Iannucci weren’t in Nawlins a coupla weeks ago! Howzat? Ook-k-k!

  198. Artist Formerly Known As Ben
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I’ve read that FBOFW that’s pissed off so many (had to see it at the library, as it’s one of the strips that my new pc securityware blocks.) Lizz and Warren’s exchange leaves me more puzzled than anything else. I mean, is every pilot who flies through YukoNWTLabravut up on all the Mtigwaki gossip? Where do they find the time, in between the bush-piloting and the Desparate Housewives parties?

  199. TurtleBoy
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    I did a little digging and found out that Mort Walker was actually one of the most progressive of the mainstream cartoonists of the seventies. Turns out he caught a lot of hell from various corners when Lt. Flap first came on the scene.

    Boy, I’m just out to defend these poor ink-covered schlubs today, aren’t I?

  200. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    GC,MP #187: Alas, Gadge, I am neither. Quit Wal*Mart because the hours I was working (10PM-7AM) meant that all I was doing was sleeping, eating, and working. Wasn’t able to keep up the search for a job in my field. The good thing to come from that job was losing twenty pounds in the two months I was there. Have been gone for three weeks and gained ten back. Kathy Mattea once said from the concert stage that every American should be forced to wait tables for a month. Working at Wal*Mart can’t be much different.

    I’m teaching a course in EFP/ENG* at a community college in the western suburbs of Chicago starting this coming week. Three hours a week. $100 a week. I’ve been sending out resumes like a prom queen throwing Tootsie Rolls from a parade float and, with the exception of this job, I haven’t been able to even get an interview. In fact, other than this part-time job, my last interview was in September on Long Island! Would have been nice before driving 900 miles to know that they had an internal candidate (lost the job to him).

    To bring this back to the comics, I find it fascinating that no comic strip really deals with the situation regarding the job market in today’s culture. Everyone but Zonker in Doonsebury seems to have no problem finding work and Zonker is a live-in nanny! Most colleges are telling me they won’t talk to me until I get a terminal degree (PhD or MFA instead of my MA). Most employers say I’m overqualified with an MA. I am… the… Dondi of the American job market.

    My two solaces (solii?) are having the cutest man in Chicago to snuggle and this place to snark. If you watched this week’s My Name is Earl, it really hit home.

    p.s. to Gadge — I was blessed with a Goldilock’s: not too big, not too small, not too hard, not too soft, not too hot, not too cold… just right. Y’all won’t experience that personally but you can buy the films off a Moroccan website, I hear. I was young and unused to wine. If you can bear to look, search on “Aloysius.”

    * – Electronic News Gathering / Electronic Field Production

  201. Heckler123
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    So many clever posts! So many quirky songs and poems! When do you people find the time to do this stuff?????

    And why aren’t you the ones doing our nation’s comics? Your stuff is actually clever, humorous, and quasi-profound!

    I am in awe. I have great hopes that one of you adopts/marries/befriends me.

  202. Jack Parsons
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    I never knew Christ had a dog.

  203. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Old Fogeyette, one only discovers that through intense research. I’m either the Jane Goodall of Gay Sex or Jacques Cousteau, Under the Sheets. Let’s just say I dated my share of gas station attendants during my early twenties.

    Gadge, did you ever work at a Mobil station on I94?

  204. TurtleBoy
    January 20th, 2007 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    By the way, thanks Poteet and Skullturf, for gettin’ my back. Poteet, here are some photos of Al S. with some other members of the Long Island Chapter of the National Cartoonists Society (including Joe Giella). I wonder what kind of singing voice he has?

  205. Dennis Jimenez
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    FC – Any other advice, Dolly? Perhaps that blow really means suck?

  206. clumsee
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    184 I’m not sure. I stared at that one a long time myself. I think the fact that the ski tracks go on either side of the tree suggests that the skier was still attached to the tree while the skis continued in nice, parallel paths down the mountain. Of course, the parts that are added to the tree look like no part of any human, caveman or otherwise, that we might recognize; and the skis would leave lighter, if any, tracks sans skier; and they would not continue down the mountain in matching swooshes; and in no way would any of this be funny regardless of how much reality you suspend, but that’s Johnny for you.

  207. Victoria Waterfield
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    #137 – Right on! Though for some reason I also imagine Scaduto’s voice sounds just like Rodney Dangerfield’s.

  208. Sjofn
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    See, I think Saturday’s FBOFW is freaking hilarious. Liz’s expression in that last panel made me laugh out loud. It’s so “OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” I can’t help but be delighted by it.

    But yeah, how stupid is Warren? What he needed to do was wait until Liz was sexually assaulted, rescue her, and then declare that he still loves her. She loves that! But revealing you knew her boyfriend was cheating on her and you delivered her early so she’d find out? That’s not nearly the level of callous, self-centered mindfucking Liz goes for.

  209. betty
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

  210. RayRay
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Shout-Out from Overboard!

  211. Dick Ruthless
    January 20th, 2007 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Hey, guys. I’ve been doing some Lockhorns spoofs on my blog, some of you might find them amusing. Blog address is:
    http://dickruthless.blogspot.com/

    Check it out if you want.

  212. Islamorada Girl
    January 20th, 2007 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    What’s the difference reading between pompous, self-righteous, supercilious FOOB and reading the columns of George Will?

    George Will is funnier

    Thank you.

  213. Michael L.
    January 20th, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone remember Rickie Lee Jones’ “Coolsville”? No? Well, anyway:

    I and Paul and Mtigwaki
    That’s the way I always thought it would be
    In the chapped, cracked lips of the winter
    How we met
    Decked out in parkas
    It was all a big regret
    Cuz we was FOOBSville.

    (More fun than grading papers.)

  214. Bill Peschel
    January 20th, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    I must say, reading Foob is much more bearable — even worthwhile — if I continue to read these great song parodies.

    I got more laughs singing sotto voce “Subterreanian Mtigeechigoombi Blues” than I did reading the comics today (which included a WTF from BC).

    Thank you all. Bless you.

  215. Jamus The Bartender
    January 20th, 2007 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Okay class, settle down….let’s come to order…today’s Comics 101 will be featuring a lesson on For Better Or For Worse, I hope you all did the reading….let’s see some hands…yea…yeah…okay…
    How many knew a week ago that Warren was dropping Lizardbreath off in Mgtickytacky a week early so she could find out about Paul’s commiting the sin of adultery…yeah…some hands…that’s good….
    Okay, now how many were revolted by the “not-my-business” attitude of the townspeople and the mild racist themes inherent….yeah…yeah…more hands….that’s good….”Lizardbreath sucks…” please don’t interrupt sir…
    Aand…final question…how many expect this subplot to be wrapped up by yet another tragic event in the lives of the Pattersons, punctuated by a helicopter crash, the result of Warren “being honest” with Liz, and Liz walking down the mountain, freezing to death. Wow….look at all the hands…..i’m impressed….

  216. Frank Drackman
    January 20th, 2007 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft is such a jerk, like its the cable guys fault his hoity toity HD set gets bad reception. Crankshafts just resentful that he cant get a job that pays as well. Jerk!!! He’s the kind of guy who sends his steak back on the rare occasion he goes to a fancy steakhouse like Bonanza or Western Sizzlin and doesn’t realize the minimum wage cooks gonna totally molest his steak before fixing whatever was wrong with it…Why can’t HE have a stroke instead of that guy on FBOW??

  217. Randy
    January 20th, 2007 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    MW–The close-up yesterday made me realize that Marymust spend a fortune on Botox.

    Pluggers–Imagine what a movie theater full of old dogs would smell like. Thanks, I’ll pass on the movie today, folks.

  218. Poteet
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    # 204 –Thanks for the link, Turtleboy. I agree with Skullturf — as a theoretical cartoonist grandfather, I could do worse than Al.

    Foob — I know it’s bad when I’m actually hoping to go back to the Stroke-Stricken Gwampa storyline on Monday because the alternatives are so much worse.

  219. Anonymous
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    #202: Here you go, Jack.

    As Pontius Pilate said, “I’ll get you my little pretty! …and your big dog, too!”

  220. Dean Booth
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    #219 is me. I lost my identity for some reason.

  221. Dicky
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    200 Dingo – I’ve always looked to Dilbert and The Meaning of Lila as to the wonderful world of work. Of course, maybe that’s only because I was a cube jockey for the past three years, and will probably be going back into that wonderful world as soon as I find another job… (I’ve always been very bad with regard to the amount of energy which I place into my life planning…)
    Yes, they don’t touch as much on the utterly enjoyable process of job hunting, but they do capture the emptiness of the cube jockey, especially those in customer service, where you’re being outsourced to sites not situated in America unless you work in a place with a contract which explicitly states that all information related to your position must remain in the state, and how the energies which should go into your work are sublimated into other endeavors.

    And uh, a little more help than Aloysius would be appreciated. Most of the things that I’ve found googling it are religious and aloysius.com definitely doesn’t look like a Moroccan men’s photography outlet.

  222. Poteet
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    # 219 — BWAHAHA! Thanks, Anonymous. I have a few photos of my cats in that position, and now I realize it’s feline homage to the divine.

  223. Saxman
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Baily (thinking outside the box)

    Maybe we are making unwarranted assumptions. Maybe they are deployed off someplace out of the way and insular. Garrison duty in Uzbeckistan or something where they never interact with the locals, just a buffer zone of civilian contractors.

    This would explain a lot. The strange uniforms, the lack of married soldiers, the barracks (really no off-base at all), the fact that they haven’t all done a tour in Iraq, etc. etc. They use old equipment (Sherman tanks!) because the local government is touchy about importing new equipment. This also explains the lack of inteaction with Bunny and Hi/Lois.

    Or maybe they are guarding Aera 51.

  224. Chromium
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    #199 – Most interesting (for lack of a better word) part about that Beetle Bailey article:

    “[The general] never did anything,” Walker insisted by phone. “He just appreciated [Buxley], that’s all. And when she went by the door, why, he would lean over and look and follow her. But he never touched her. … I never had him touch her or approach her or anything like that. He was just a virile old man. … In fact, he was sort of a copy of me.

    Gross.

  225. Braniff
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    157–I’ve never served in the military but I’ve always thought that after fifty plus years (the length of time that Beetle Bailey and Orville Snorkel have been in the army) someone would have either promoted or discharged them. Maybe the Beetle Bailey comic strip has become an unwitting commentary about today’s military establishment . . .

  226. Booper
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    #200 — Don’t worry, Dingo. You’ll find something. I’m not entirely sure what your field encompasses (tv/radio/film/internet/all of the above?) but I remember you’ve done a film on 1031 like-kind exchanges. And, if you can do that, you can do just about anything.

    I wonder how Josh got his start in the e-journalism biz. Josh, would you care to share your story with the class?

    P.S. More information about Dingo’s um, dingo, can be found on the internet. But you’re going to have to find it yourself. :)

  227. kilgore trout
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    #223 Saxman. Uzbeckistan? Is that where it’s at? (got 2 turntables and a microphone…)

  228. Richard Onley
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    #178: “172 – No. That was pretty Shane West, not Rob Lowe.”

    Oh. Well, all those just-bad-enough pretty boys look alike to me.

  229. Chromium
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    Also, this comic that I never read appears to be about a crazy old man with mold growing on his head. I think.

    Wow, I’m surprised more people don’t comment on Redeye. What a delightfully racist strip.

  230. Chromium
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    Arrgh, meant to link to this.

  231. ChristyNell
    January 20th, 2007 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    I’m joining in on the Beatles sing-along, folks.

    With apologies to George*:

    Back then long time ago when you were cool
    Those were glory days
    Hooked up like strangers in the night

    (FOOB! doot doot doot doo)
    Long time ago when we was FOOB
    (FOOB!)
    Back when Mtigwaki was all we had

    Adventure called you in the morning light
    Coffee breaks at noon
    And we did it all

    (FOOB! doot doot doot doo)
    Long time ago when we was FOOB
    (FOOB!)
    In my world you have half a brain
    At least

    But while you’re in Lynn’s world
    Your fate gonna come and claim you
    Well, girl, you best get wise
    ‘Cause the ‘Stache gonna come and take you away

    Take you away…
    Take you away…

    The drawing that magnified your face
    Puffy lips and all
    The angst flowed on and on

    (FOOB! doot doot doot doo)
    Long time ago when we was FOOB
    (Gahh!)
    But it’s all over now, Lizard-breath…

    (Oooh! doot doot doot FOOB!)
    Long time ago when we was FOOB
    (FOOB!)
    Like this email you sent to me

    (FOOB! doot doot doot gahh!)
    And you really had a hold on me
    (FOOB! doot doot doot gahh!)
    Long time ago when we was FOOB

    * It’s “When We Was Fab,” fyi.

  232. Pendragon
    January 20th, 2007 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    #181 – Ukelele Ike, sadly, I think you have totally nailed it.

    By the way, I have some of your old recordings on 78s. Great stuff.

  233. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    #221 Dicky and #226 Booper: T’anks. Yeah, before going back to college (Columbia College – 2nd BA in Interactive Mulitimedia and NIU – MA in Media Studies and certificate in LGBT Studies) I was a cubicle monkey at 1st Chicago (now Chase). Hell on Earth. My job was creating PowerPoint presentations. If I ever see that MS clipart again…

    Dicky, I’ll wait to answer your query about Aloysius. There’s a bunch of clues buried in that paragraph that only a stuttering English lit maven might get these days. I seem to keep revisiting a time others forgot.

  234. cinephile
    January 20th, 2007 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    With apologies to Stephen Sondheim (who, I’m sure, reads this site daily):

    SEND IN THE CAINE

    He isn’t rich, looks like a pear
    Always has cinammon crumbs,
    Stuck in his hair.
    But I’ll be a Caine,
    Sure, send in the Caine.

    Lynn thinks it’s bliss, Mama approves
    I keep on tearing around
    ‘Cause Paul couldn’t move.
    Now I’ll be a Caine.
    Send in the Caine.

    Just when I’d stopped knocking on doors,
    Realizing everyone in Mitwagki thinks I’m a whore.
    I made my entrance again with my usual flair,
    Sure of my lines:
    But Susan was there.

    Don’t you love jokes?
    Lynn don’t, I fear,
    I thought she’d give me a real life,
    Not your sorry rear…
    So now I’m a Caine
    Quick, send in the Caine
    ‘Cause he’s always here.

    Home isn’t bliss, April is here
    Mike still believes he will have a writing career.
    So, where is the Caine?
    I’ll marry the Caine,
    Well, maybe next year…

  235. King Folderol
    January 20th, 2007 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Every three months, A3G throws a character into the randomizer and runs through the “I’ve got to change my life” storyline. Once again, it’s Tommie’s turn. Since she’s not the bitch Margo is, it’s a lot easier. All she has to do is get out on the town, stop staring out the window pretending she’s a hunchback, and join the world for a few seconds. Tragically, her mock agoraphobia will do her in, and she’ll be stuck listening to Luann’s vapid rants and Margo’s bitchiness for the rest of her sad little life.

    BB – That’s not Killer. That’s one of the characters from The Boondocks who have been gradually filtering into other comics.

    OBH – An old joke terribly executed. I’m waiting for Daddy to say “Take my wife, please,” and for Ruthie and Joe to take a sharpened tree branch and finally put Dad and us out of our misery. “Enough with these stupid, senseless, lame puns!!!”

    Marmaduke – I hope to God that Marmaduke is going to eat that dog, because if he’s going to sex that little dog up the fine little line between sex and rape will simply be indistinguishable, and I will projectile vomit so hard that I’ll probably need a new kidney.

  236. Booper
    January 20th, 2007 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    #234 cinephile — Excellent! (I love show tunes.)

  237. John C Fremont
    January 20th, 2007 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    #150 – Ever since reading your post I’ve been singing “Creepy shades of Truman Capote, it’s twilight time again.” So, uh, thanks.

    #230 – In the third panel of Redeye, is that a 10 gallon hat, or is he just enjoying the show?

    Well, now that I’ve left a comment, tradition dictates that Josh is about to post and a new thread is about to begin. Happens every time. Oh yeah! Goodnight, folks! Try the squid.

  238. Citric
    January 20th, 2007 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    But Sparky, chances are that it was the male of the species which was little and found a stepladder to do the deed.

  239. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    Cinephile #234: Brilliant! Smashing brilliant! I sang it aloud and it works. Excellent job!

  240. Artist Formerly Known as Ben
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    Dick Ruthless, I love your Lockhorns remixes. Had some definite “O no you di’nt moments.”

  241. Squid Countess
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    Down here at the bottom of the thread where it won’t bother anyone, I thought I might mention this. I had to have my dear 15 and 1/2 year old cat Sammy (named for Sammy Davis Jr, speaking of Al Scaduto period-coolness) put to sleep on the 6th of January. Sammy was a loner and never would let me get any other members of the rat pack, so I haven’t tried to acquire a pet in almost 16 years. I looked at the shelter adoption page on the web today, and saw 2 likely cats. I’m afraid one cat would be lonely, but maybe not. Sammy never was. Anyone have any experience adopting adult cats? Here’s a link, if you’re curious/desperately bored. I’m interested in Elvira and Elvis, together. Biscuit Man, singularly. All thoughts welcome.

    http://knoxpets.org/adoption.asp?Cat

  242. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Home and Bound

    with apologies to Paul Simon

    I’m sitting here in Mtigwaki
    Chopper set but headphone’s squaky
    Mm-mm-mm-mm
    Paul and Susan took my plans
    For tundra trysts with native man
    Pulled them back like skin from glans
    No smegma mustache! Cum on hands!
    Home and bound,
    I guess I’ll be,
    Home and bound,
    Home in the bland one’s basement,
    Home in metal encasement,
    Home where Lynn Johnston’s fate waits
    Silently for me.

    Ev’ry day’s an endless stream
    Of men who lurk and swoon for me
    Can’t you see?
    And ev’ry stranger’s face I see reminds me he’s not Anthony
    Home and bound,
    I guess I’ll be,
    Home and bound,
    Home in the bland one’s basement,
    Home in metal encasement,
    Home where Lynn Johnston’s fate waits
    Silently for me.

    Tonight the chopper takes me back
    Hmm… could I fake a heart attack?
    Mm-mm-mm-mm
    Live my life some other place than back at home
    And yet I face
    The constant repetitious prate
    Is Anthony to be my fate?
    Home and bound,
    I guess I’ll be,
    Home and bound,
    Home in the bland one’s basement,
    Home in metal encasement,
    Home where Lynn Johnston’s fate waits
    Silently for me.

  243. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    Squid Countess, my bet’s on Biscuit Man!

  244. MonkeyHawk
    January 20th, 2007 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    #241 — Squid Countess:

    My roommate (a dead ringer for Elvira) moved in when he was about a year and a half old. Since you’re willing to adopt both Elvira and Elvis, it sounds like a win-win-win deal for all concerned. They’re already best friends so won’t be lonely and it’s not like bringing another cat later on if Biscuit Boy gets lonely. Some kitties don’t like a newcomer, even if they’re lonely.

  245. Booper
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Squid Countess — I’m sorry to hear about Sammy. I definitely think you should adopt Elvira and Elvis. I used to have two cats and it’s a little extra work, but the kitties will thank you for it. (On the other hand, Biscuit Boy looks exactly like a cat I used to live with. His name was Fritter. Actually, if it were me doing the adopting, I would probably adopt all three.) Come to think of it, my sister and her partner have four cats (and a dog). Two of the cats decided to live upstairs, two downstairs. My sister just let them work it out, which is the way I’ve always handled pet melding (provided there isn’t any bloodshed, of course).

  246. Nyssa23
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    Squid Countess, I cast my vote for Elvira and Elvis too.

    I’m betting that most folks are only in the market for one pet so if you could adopt them both they’d be happier, no kitty families would have to be broken up, and you wouldn’t have to worry about an only cat being lonesome!

    I love cats but, alas, they make me sneeze.

  247. Harry Paratestes
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    Squid countess, I think MonkeyHawk is right, getting ‘best friend’ cats would probably work out, provided that you can handle them, and vise-versa. However, for sheer awesomeness of fur, I think that Egyptian Maus are it. http://www.mystiquemini.com/Nakita%201.jpg
    It would be like having a miniature snow leopard.

  248. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    Harry Pair, why not just get a snow leopard? That’d get her extra attention at Starbucks!

  249. Harry Paratestes
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    That’s quite an image I got of Squid Countess sashaying into a Starbucks, clad in miniskirt and thigh-high suede boots, accompanied by a snarling snow leopard.

  250. Ribinin
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    One of the nice things about this forum is how nice everybody is, especially compared to others I’ve visited. Even somebody like me, a tall skinny garage mechanic whose teeth have see better days gets a friendly response.

  251. Jack Parsons
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    Fine Art: First Kiss

    How did he get them to pose?

  252. Katerina
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    Could someone please explain 1/20′s Chickweed Lane for me?
    It’s the first time I’ve ever see the comic, so maybe I’m missing something, but I’ve been staring at it for the last half hour and I have no idea what’s going on.

  253. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    Jack Parsons, there’s that damned lamp again! It’s in today’s Gil Thorp, too.

  254. Red Greenback
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    Has this article been posted yet?- http://www.everythreeweekly.com/archive/show_story/637 -paragraphs 5 and 8 strike me as classic CC snarking.

  255. snapdragon
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    For the record, Monday’s FOOB involves the pets.
    Including Shiimsa, so apparently Liz doesn’t boil her like a bunny or dump her at the humane society as ‘inconvenient’ immediately.

  256. Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    APT 3-G : Geez, Flattop’s sister(Margo) has been gone how long and Tommie is already despondent and melancholy? What a high maintainence bitch..Intuition tells me she’ll meet her maker thanks to a fistfull of sleeping pills with a whiskey chaser.

    BEETLE BAILEY: Does the Army remove the nipples of all recruits, or is this just a Platoon ritual thing?

    1 BIG HAPPY – I finally find a strip I like and then this happens. The crows will be picking at their bones before the weekend is over(sigh).

    MARMADUKE – The funny thing I saw was how the guy on the left is bent over in that “Oh God, here we go again” sort of way, and then while remembering all the times he’s been forcibly sodomized by Marmaduke regrets not having thought of the poodle angle before now.

  257. Poteet
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    # 241 — Squid Countess, this is eerie — all three cats you are considering look just like wonderful cats I adopted as strays. Two died when they were about fourteen, and the third is twelve and still here, along with four other senior cats adopted as adult strays. I do sympathize with your loss of Sammy. It sounds like he was lucky to have you.

    Biscuit Man looks very appealing, but I’d vote for Elvis and Elvira. I’ve gone through the standard vet recommendations for introducing adult cats, and they worked pretty well, but adopting two cats who are already best buddies sounds wonderful and much easier. I had an “only” cat for nine years, and have had more than one for the past eighteen years, and I vote for more than one. And as a sucker for happy endings, especially those involving shelter adoptions, I hope you’ll let us know what you decide to do.

  258. MossMoses
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    255. “Monday’s FOOB”.

    Snapdragon, I haven’t even seen Sunday’s FOOB yet. Are you a Lynnion by any chance?

    You can tell the poorly drawn Asians in Mary Worth by the hash marks on their cheeks or are those just Peace Village Asians with agent orange scars on their faces? Next thing you know a cloud will peek out from behind the sun…

  259. Squid Countess
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    Thanks for the kitty input everyone. I wish I could afford to adopt all three . Actually, I have no way of knowing that any of them are still available till I go by the shelter. I’ll let you know what happens!

    #252 – Katerina – The character in the overalls is named Thorax. He might be an alien. He might be a mystic. He might just be a crazy old man. What he most definitely is, is a horrible drag on the strip. I never read the strips with Thorax in them. I see the overalls and keep moving down the page. I spot check – about every 5th time he appears I’ll read it – and it’s always stupid and it always sucks. Today he appears to be levitating and denying it. I don’t know what that’s about. He’s never levitated in any that I’ve read.

  260. queek
    January 20th, 2007 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    99. honestly, I hadn’t meant last night’s comment to be a challenge. I was merely boggled by a concept born of the cross-breeding of my partners sleep-deprivation, an ongoing radio alarm, and my end-of-evening alcohol-fueled silliness. I couldn’t think of any other group of people that would appreciate the weirdness of it as the people here.

    That being said, I love the results. :-)

    As another note, if anyone watched the Golden Globes, I think we can nominate Phillip Seymour Hoffman to play Granthony in the FOOB movie. *shudders*

    thoughts on who plays Liz?

  261. Josh
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    Squid Countess, might I put in my vote for a single cat? Mrs. C. got Hoagie as an adult from a shelter. She hates all other forms of animal life as a potential impediment to her quality lap time with her people. I can’t imagine how unhappy she must have been at the shelter cooped up with all those other cats!

    Kudos to you for adopting an adult. So many people go down there looking for cute kittens, but I think you can get much more of a sense of their personalities if they’re already grown up.

  262. Dingo
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    Squid Countess, may I suggest a test? A music critic once referred to an Enya CD as “music to stroke the cat by.” Go down to the shelter with an Enya CD and play it in front of all three cats. The one(s) that curl up into a ball and mewl for you… that’s the cat to take home. The cat that rattles the cage like little Francois stuck in the basement? Nah.

  263. Len
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    #252 — Katerina… Thorax (the bullet-headed farmer guy) is walking a few inches ABOVE the ground. Confusing Dr. Burber (the lady walking beside him).

    Thorax spends a lot of time on other worlds, and hangs out with denizens of Faerieland in the strip Pibgorn, so levitating is not an unusual achievement for him.

  264. Cafangdra
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    Ukelele Ike has called it.

  265. NotThatGuy
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    Squidcountess, go with the two kitties. Unless the shelter specifically recommends one of your picks as an only cat, they almost certainly will adapt and keep you and each other entertained.

  266. Esper
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    That’s the closest Tommie’s head has been to a dong since she was in college.

  267. Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Thanks for the laugh Esper!! Though I nearly choked to death on coffee!

  268. bobbaloo
    January 21st, 2007 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth has succumbed to the ancient Vietnamese curse that not only gives you jaundice, but causes a third eyeball to appear in the middle of your forehead.

  269. Brendan
    January 21st, 2007 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    “Sadly, it’s actually no doubt Gina at the door, come to say something rude and then flit off. Or a boring dark-haired white guy in a blue suit to sweep Tommie off her feet.”

    Why either/or? Can’t it be Gina in a blue suit to say something rude, sweep Tommie off her feet, and go off with her to sing rock anthems?

  270. Cornwhacker
    January 21st, 2007 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    269: I’m too lazy to do one myself, but I keep waiting for a Tommie/Gina Bon Jovi parody to pop up in the comments. But since we’ve been blessed with so much Paul Simon lately, I’ll just point out that the last panel of Sunday’s strip totally sets up Ghost Ryder to respond to Lu Ann with “You Can Call Me Al”.

    Squid Countess, if you’re been following Rex Morgan, MD at all, you know you need Elvis. But you’ll have to rename his black buddy “Eightball”.

  271. Cornwhacker
    January 21st, 2007 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    Also on Sunday: Mary Worth gets covered in gold leaf and grows a third eye.

  272. Dub Not Dubya
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    Squid Countess, I vote for the two kitties if possible. The fact that they are already best friends bodes well for them continuing to get along. What a great kindness it would be for you to take them both so they could still be together. A friend of mine adopted two cats at the same time after watching how they interacted with each other, and it’s worked out well.

    It’s great that you want to adopt an adult cat. They are harder for shelters to place because so many people want kittens. But the good thing is that their personalities are already formed and visible, so the folks from the shelter can tell you what they are like. It’s harder to tell how kittens will be when they grow up.

    I adopted two adult cats from a shelter, about a year apart. It was stressful at first introducing them to each other, but they got to be good friends. I had to have one of them put to sleep last year, and I am still grieving and debating about getting another one.

    Let us know what you end up doing. And by the way, I’m originally from Knoxville (even went to high school with Darby Conley.) Small world.

  273. Caged Tygre
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    I am still disturbed by the last panel in Saturday’s Foob.

    Don’t show me kitties!
    Too much temptation, and I can’t adopt any right now. Anyway, best of luck with whichever ones you take home.

  274. jnik
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    260 Queek:
    How about Carson Cressley as Ted Forth?
    This could turn into an ongoing thread!

  275. Nyssa23
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    Wha-a-a-a? Am I the only one who can’t get any Sunday comics on the Chron.com page? Bah! Awk-k-k!

  276. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    Squid Countess: I will weigh in on the side of the two-cats option also. While it’s true that cats don’t necessarily get along with one another, if the two cats you’re thinking of already *do* get along (and there may well be such a pair available when you go), it’s easier and better for them, I think, to have playmates when you’re away working or snarking at the comics. We adopted two kitties from our local humane society after our first (solo) cat died, and they’ve been wonderful.

    And finally, condolences on your loss. Spin (our first cat) was almost 16, just like Sammy, and it broke our hearts truly when he had to go. (Choice of painful surgery with likelihood of requiring further painful surgery with low odds that either would work vs. euthanization. We opted to relieve his pain.) We took a good few months to get to the point where we could think of getting new cats, but they helped heal us tremendously.

    PS: Nope, Dingo – never worked at any gas station. Also, never met a golf pro. Must be confusing me with some other preener of moles…

  277. Spotted HØrse
    January 21st, 2007 at 3:26 am [Reply]

    #220 Dean Booth:

    As Pontius Pilate said, “I’ll get you my little pretty! …and your big dog, too!”

    Dean, this made me all warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks!

  278. Mr. O’Malley
    January 21st, 2007 at 3:42 am [Reply]

    You can really get quite an education in art by reading the comics. A-3G is doing Albert Pinkham Ryder, and today we also have Otto Dix.

  279. TB Tabby
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:29 am [Reply]

    Whoah! The reader-submitted drawing in Sunday’s Slylock Fox is done in anime style! Seeing that picture surrounded by the usual Slylock art reminds me of the days before anime achieved mainstream popularity in the States. I’d look at shows like Widget, Scooby-Doo, and Street Sharks, and I’d think of anime like Sailor Moon and Ranma 1/2 in the same way that a drowining man thinks of an inflatable whale.

  280. Mr. O’Malley
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:34 am [Reply]

    We were just looking into getting an adult cat. Our crotchety old Maine Coon has astounded the vet by how long he’s lasted with his various ailments, but we’re not expecting too much more from him.

    We didn’t really want to get a kitten, but the trouble we found with all the places that have adults available is that you have to promise to keep them indoors all the time. Cats enjoy being outdoors so much, I think it is cruel to keep them locked in the house. Plus they get frustrated and tear up the furniture.

    We had a couple of other cats staying with us for a while, and they weren’t very happy. I think there were two problems. One is if there is a big age difference they vary too much in things like how much they like to play. The other is when they get elderly they don’t adapt to new things easily.

    If you got two young adults about the same age I think it would probably be all right.

  281. Mr. O’Malley
    January 21st, 2007 at 5:02 am [Reply]

    SlyFo: Did you know that tree theft is actually a major crime problem? People sneak into national parks, cut down trees and sell them to lumber mills. You can get thousands of dollars for a big tree.

    I know someone who’s working on a project to compare tree ring signatures that lumber mills would be required to photograph against a database of illegally cut stumps.

    Not that you would learn anything like that from this stupid comic.

    Answer: Because the yellow mouse on the sled was watching the wrong tree. Because the beaver has one shaved leg. Because humans are intruders into a world of anthropomorphic animals. Because the beaver has eaten all the branches from the lower half of the tree as a midmorning snack, which can be verified by his “pine needle breath”. Because his toque is glued on to the back of his head. Because Slylock is suffering from frostbitten ears because he is wearing human earmuffs on vulpine ears. Because only beavers use sawhorses.

    I’m with TB Tabby on this one. A bit of anime style would liven this strip up no end.

  282. willethompson
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:12 am [Reply]

    Squid Countess – I’ve got seven here, all walk-ons, so since you’re just a quick shot west on 40, the hissing sack on your doorstep will be from me. Please, don’t thank me.

    Kidding. Elvis (and as suggested above, change the othe cat’s name to Eightball – or Royal Gilstrap)

  283. Dogg
    January 21st, 2007 at 6:32 am [Reply]

    Geez people – enuf with the cat-related chat and pics. Get a room, or at least a forum. Just a rule of thumb, but when the CC list entries go over ten percent on a subject that has zero to nothing to do with either comics per say or AT ALL – alot of us aren’t actually coming here to scroll through all that, but to read about the CC topics and exchange therein. Get a personals forum?

  284. John C Fremont
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    SF – Angry beaver. Angry Beaver. ANGRY BEAVER!!

    MW – Drat, people have already noticed Mary’s third eye, but we knew it was there all along.

    The Abbey And Neddy Show – Nooooooo!!! This could have been one of the bestest Abbey and Neddy episodes ever, what with Abbey’s stretching and presenting, and with Neddy going out with that – that – Foob. If Barreto is in the hospital again, I’m in favor of chipping in for some health insurance for him. For the love of GOD, man, Abbey and Neddy are in freaking PARIS!

    Sorry.

    MT – I’m thinking of changing my name to Kit or Swift Fox.

    Elvis and Elvira. Elvis and Elvira. ELVIS AND ELVIRA! (And orange kitty too.)

  285. Calico
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Here we go again with the CCC (Josh’s crazy comics crossovers).

    Swift Fox, Slylock Fox

    Dagwood in a sling, the Shaved Beaver paw (can Theodore kegel, however?)

    Jeff is in hospital from working too hard, May Roth is in hospital due to a really bad job choice.

    And yes, I do love Mary’s Eye of Fatima. Next thing she’ll be showing up on dollar bills. “In Mary we Trust.”

  286. Calico
    January 21st, 2007 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    …and in 3G, notice that Tommie’s shirt has changed from yellow to a white shirt with Blue sweater for Sunday.
    I guess the Sundays are all done in advance, but it would be nice if the artist in question checked back before drawing the dailies…definitely looks like one artist on Sundays, another for the Mon-Sat. stuff, like Judge Parker/Barreto situation.
    Also, check the lettering on the Patterson frig – DWEEB. Haha.

  287. TB Tabby
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    DT: My conscience told me to hit the blackjack tables.

  288. Moo
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Wha-a-a-a? Am I the only one who can’t get any Sunday comics on the Chron.com page? Bah! Awk-k-k!

    I can’t get them either, this morning. Sunday morning coffee just isn’t the same today.

  289. queek
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Sunday FOOB.

    washing out recycling bins? Huh? What? WHY?!?

    what goes into them should all be clean material. Do FOOBs leave dirty soda cans or food scraps in the bins? *boggles*

    I submit that Pluggers, if they had recycling bins, would just leave them out in the rain if they needed cleaning.

  290. uncle balustrade
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Maybe the rampant alcoholism of past years is rotting my brain just like they said it would, but the last panel of “Apartment 3-G” reminded me of the Cheech & Chong routine wherein it is written:
    “Goin’ downtown gonna see ma gal”,
    “Gonna sing her a song, y’all,
    “I’m gonna show her my ‘Ding-Dong…’”

  291. willethompson
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    #289 – “Someone left the bins out in the rain, but it took so long to clean them, not to mention even fill them, with the ashes of Liz Patterson’s remains, whoa oooooooooh!”

    Sorry, couldn’t resist. I’ll stop now.

  292. Calico
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Notice too that the name “May Roth” sounds awfully close to Mary Worth, especially if you’ve had a few beers.
    Coolie Hat alert in MW Sunday panel one – who was gonna have that can o’ suds for breakfast?

  293. Mr. O’Malley
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Well, things are pretty quiet on the Curmudgeon front (effete Easterners!), and I’m just sitting here supervising a project that is running on computer #2. So I will take this opportunity to discuss something that has been bothering me for quite some time.

    It’s about FBOFW, one of our favorite topics. But I’d like to bring up something that hasn’t really been discussed.

    Looking at Lynn Johnston’s bio, she grew up in the Vancouver area, and later lived in Hamilton, Ont., northern Manitoba, and now she lives near North Bay, Ontario. I’ll just keep that in mind for a minute. I think Vancouver has always been a hip artistic kind of a place.

    The Pattersons are supposed to be living in Toronto? Not Toronto proper, but somewhere in the GTA aka vast suburban sprawl. “On the For Better or For Worse website, Milborough is described as being about a 45 minute drive from Toronto and resembling Newmarket or Etobicoke.”

    I actually know Toronto fairly well. It has art galleries, museums, theatre, music venues, ethnic restaurants, urban parks and a pretty good mass transit system by North American standards. Even way out in the burbs there is still some interesting stuff.

    What really gets to me is that no one in FBOFW seems to take advantage of all the stuff that they could do. Just consider by contrast Apartment 3-G in NYC. In the past few months the characters have been out visiting galleries, museums, restaurants, gourmet delis and theatre cast parties. You could easily do the same in Toronto.

    No one in the strip even goes out to a park. I realize this may seem strange to many Americans, but in Canada even suburban neighborhoods have parks with trees and grass and stuff. Not so useful in the winter, but I’m looking at the big picture.

    The most exciting thing that anybody seems to do in this strip is to drop in to Tim Horton’s for a cup of coffee.

    What kind of lives do these people lead? Do they ever think “I don’t want to cook tonight, I’ll go around to the Chinese takeaway and get some kung pao chicken and Mongolian beef”?

    I haven’t ever been to North Bay. It would actually be a more logical place for Warren and his helicopter to be based than Toronto. But I can’t believe that even North Bay could be as boring a place as is depicted in this strip.

    Only Dad with his trains and April with her band have any kind of interest at all. All the others—what do they do when they’re off-camera? None of them seem to have have any motivation besides finding a supply of food. They could just as well be replaced by a troop of baboons.

    If they can’t even entertain themselves, how are we supposed to be entertained by watching their antics?

  294. Dennis Jimenez
    January 21st, 2007 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Not only NO HEALTH INSURANCE in the world of RMMD – no HIPPA, either.

  295. Ribinin
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    It looks like Houston has instituted “Sunday closing”. I couldn’t get any of them at all.

    The Seattle PI seems to have them still. A little harder to get to, but available.

  296. Ukulele Ike
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Mr O’Malley (and Bill Griffith): Oh for heavens sake, how can you NOT appreciate Otto Dix? Some of his portraits are positively mouth-watering!

    http://www.mess.net/galleria/dix/

  297. Jacobus
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Did Jabba the Hut freeze Mary Worth in carbonite at the end of Sunday’s strip?

  298. TB Tabby
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    293: “The Pattersons are supposed to be living in Toronto? Not Toronto proper, but somewhere in the GTA aka vast suburban sprawl.”

    Teehee…as a video gamer, that set of initials gives me some VERY pleasant mental images. Granthony being run down by a stolen ambulance that was on its way to pick up the bullet-riddled Liz chief amongst them.

  299. John C Fremont
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    #297 – Yes. Yes, he did. That must have been when he planted that third eye in her forhead. Then he had her gold plated and placed a spotlight behind her. Too bad she’ll thaw out by tomorrow.

  300. John C Fremont
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Oh, and I’m very disappointed in Greta Weber. I was so hoping Dingo would be right.

  301. TB Tabby
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Since nobody else is posting…

    COMMENT 300 FOR ME!

    I like it! A nice, round number! Round as Patterson birthing hips!

  302. Gabe
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Grand Theft Auto: Foob City.

  303. Saxman
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    MW (Coolie hats)

    Another hat, another beer for breakfast.
    (Hope I don’t fall asleep in church).

    Anyone but me think Greta contributed materially to the good doctor’s exhaustion?

  304. TB Tabby
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    …Missed it by THAT much.

  305. MossMoses
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Oh, you’re Greta Weber! She says that with a sense of relief upon seeing how old and plain she is, as if she was expecting some young floozy bimbo. What a self-centered, vainglorious, petty biotch! Mary Worth certainly is hanoi-ing. Let’s hope they surreptitiously slip a little agent orange mickey in her pho.

  306. Booper
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    #283 — Satchel?

  307. Ned Ryerson
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    #284 John C. Fremont: We had the same thoughts concerning Abbey, including the word “presenting” which popped into my mind when I saw her sticking her ass in the old lady’s face. It recalled a great MST3K line: “She’s presenting like a mandrill.”

  308. Old Fogeyette
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    WARNING: CAT POST
    Squid Countess, I have to weigh in. We have four cats, all indoors-only, all terrific cats. 1 – 3 were adopted as kittens; #4 a year later as a one-year-old. They all get along great.

    I agree that your best bet is to adopt a pair that already know and love each other. If Elvis and Elvira are gone when you get there, it might be worth waiting for another pair. IMHO, two cats are LESS trouble than one, because they can entertain and comfort each other while you are gone. It’s also great fun to play with two cats at once (I recommend DA BOID, the feathered critter on a stick).

    And condolences on the loss of Sammy. I still miss my beloved Hatshe, who died at 24 two years ago.

  309. Frank Drackman
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Its a good thing Gretas in Vietnam, she just violated about 10 different federal and state privacy statutues telling some stranger about Dr. Jeffs medical condition, I hope Mary knows if she doesn’t report her boyfriends condition to the California Medical Board she could up for some charges also..

  310. MossMoses
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    309: Frank, Doc Jeff is Mary’s “special friend”. She never calls him “boyfriend”.

  311. Dingo
    January 21st, 2007 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    #293 Mr. O’Malley: Thanks for that post. FOOB seems to take place in some American Beauty version of Toronto. Nothing but house after house, no city center, no “there.” These people and their lives really are drab.
    ——————
    The terrible thing about being a snarker is that reading all of these cat posts reminds me not of one but TWO separate things. First, our cat Misty that was hit by a car when I was a kid. Second, unfortunately, of the Simpsons episode where they bury Snowball II and Marge recounts the story of her hampster:

    Oh, Cinnamon! It should have been me who chewed through that electric cord!

    Get all three cats. It’s the best thing to do. Rename the orange one Niki.

  312. MonkeyHawk
    January 21st, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Sorry for going off-topic, but this thread’s gotta end sooner or later.

    I have a theory: that cats are the true visitors from outer space. They’ve been sent from the Cat Planet to Earth to observe our ways and learn how to overtake us.

    I used to live in a one-room studio apartment. From time to time, my fuzzy roommate would simply disappear. Not in the closet, not under the bed, not behind the couch… simply nowhere to be found. The only logical conclusion is that he was sent back to the Kitty Mother Ship to report on me. Most cat companions I know report similar periods of time when their kitties are gone, only to emerge later acting as if nothing amiss had happened. They’re going back to the Mother Ship, I tell ya! They’re planning their invasion! They’re coming after our monopolistic control of catnip and tuna fish!

    While I admire the courage of people who share their homes with more than one kitty, I simply don’t have the strength. If my roommate had a co-conspirator, I think they’d team up against me. Already he’s got me putting cracked ice in his water dish. And any anchovy pizza that enters this house results in every cat/man for himself.

    Even as I type this, my roommate is sitting in my lap as if he’s not planning anything. I know better. Forget Iraq or Homeland Security; our only hope is to put giant balls of yarn at every street corner, to distract the inevitable invasion from the Mother Ship. Or else we’re doomed to a future of non-ending kitty-tummy-scratching and litter box duty.

    You have been warned.

  313. doughy lawyer Roy
    January 21st, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

  314. Squid Countess
    January 21st, 2007 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    #296 U. Ike : Great link! I learn so much here. I started laughing to myself thinking about poor Otto Dix, not right with the Supreme Being at the time of his death, now being punished for eternity having to draw Love Is…

  315. Anonymous
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Well, buried 300 deep in a weekend post seems as good as place as any for this. Inspired by my distinguished colleague Summerhouse, who recently used the quip “all beaver, all the time” in connection with Mark Trail, I give you….Beeva Feeva**

    (** From “Diva Fever” by Spinal Tap)

    Can’t go back
    To Molly
    Can’t go back
    To Kelly
    Can’t go back
    To pick-up trucks

    Can’t go back
    To Andy
    Can’t go back
    To Cherry
    Can’t go back
    Ubiquiducks

    I got…

    Beeva Feeva!
    And they’re spraying on me
    Beeva Feeva!
    And it’s staying on me
    Beeva Feeva!
    They were born to thrill me
    Beeva Feeva!
    And it’t gonna kill me

    [ Dweezil Zappa guitar solo ]

    [ repeat ]

    [ coda ]

    [ exploding drummer ]

    [ crowd waves lighters and cellphones ]

  316. True Fable
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    MW Coolie hat. It must be because Mary’s third eye in the last panel sees coolie hats on everyone in Vietnam, so we get a vision of what Mary’s Third Eye sees.
    [/end bullshit]
    BB The realization that the man she’s been seeing is in a relationship with his sergeant has really opened Miss Buxley’s eyes in more ways than one. We can actually see her peepers not once, but twice in the same strip.
    RMMD Good Lord, June – when you stick your neck out for someone, you really mean it. It’s called Rubbernecking, where I’m from.
    Phantom I particularly like the little teaser dialogue on this one – “Better hurry up, then!” – panel-who-scolds-the-hero
    MT I’m curious to know when the Sunday educational strip will focus on moles and the Cubics who preen them. It should be downright inspiring.
    Curtis All he had to do was follow up his “You?” with, “Now why would you think I wouldn’t believe that about you? Maybe somebody else, but not you.”
    You gotta know how to weasel your way out of things. Be a Weasel Preener.

  317. John C Fremont
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    # 307 – Yeah, me too, Ned. Pretty sure that was from the disco scene in Space Mutiny, wasn’t it?.

  318. Mibbitmaker
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    Didn’t catch Mary’s 3rd eye first time around. It must mean she may be there in the Nick of time and in some Danger!

    Plus, she turns bright yellow when getting bad news. Gee, she didn’t do that when Aldo was killed, did she? Hmmm…

  319. True Fable
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    Take Care of my Sergeant (to the tune of Bobby Vinton’s “Take good care of my baby”

    My spirit’s falling, I might get shipped out today
    And though it’s all don’t ask, don’t tell
    There’s something I just gotta say….

    Take good care of my sergeant
    ’cause he’s as gay as gay could be
    And if you gonna shower
    Don’t do it by the hour
    Sarge likes his troops to be prune free

    Oh, take good care of my sergeant
    And buy your rubbers duty free
    ‘Cause when you go out hiking
    He just might take a liking
    to you, so make him forget all a-bout me

  320. True Fable
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    *oh, dammit. It’s supposed to be “And if you’re gonna shower”

    eh.

  321. Mibbitmaker
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Forgot to mention: No wonder Mare dreamed of a woman she never heard of – Greta Weber is just a blonde Mary Worth with a different hairstyle!

    JP: I think the fact that Sunday strips are done earlier explains why the fill-in artist did today’s.

    Is it my imagination, or is this week’s strips going to all be dialogue-heavy talking heads? Aaauughhh…zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

  322. commodorejohn
    January 21st, 2007 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    #293 – Well, except on Sundays, FOOB seems to take place in a perpetual late fall – mid-winter period anyway, so I don’t think the parks would do them any good. And as for restaurants and museums and such, who needs that when you have delicious white bread and mayonaise?

  323. MonkeyHawk
    January 21st, 2007 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    #319 — True Fable:

    Bobby Vee, not Bobby Vinton. A whole different Bobby.

    Otherwise, good stuff.

  324. Heckler123
    January 21st, 2007 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    MW – So, what exactly has Mary accomplished in Vietnam that she couldn’t just as easily have gotten done by some phone calls or emails from the States?

    Even more baffling to me is the fact that no one contacted Jeff’s kids about his illness. And why haven’t his offspring taken a little more interest in Dad’s well being?

    As for Mary’s third eye, I believe it is a pineal eye, just like those found in some reptiles. I have often noticed Mary’s similarities to the tuatara – both are thought to have remained virtually unchanged for more than 225 million years.

  325. Team MP
    January 21st, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    #289- Foob- Seriously. Who does wash their recycle bins? I’m about as whitebread as they come, and there is no way I would be doing that crap.

    Why doesn’t trainman have ‘stache come over and take care of that? He’d eat that suburban whitebread garabage right up.

  326. Citric
    January 21st, 2007 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    MW – I’ll admit that I’m not exactly fluent, but I THINK “working to the point of exhaustion” is Vietnamese for “I gave him a rich and plentiful variety of STDs while we spent all night doing the horizontal mambo. Also he said you sucked in bed, unlike me. Eat it, granny.”. It’s a very complicated language.

  327. True Fable
    January 21st, 2007 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    #323 *slaps forehead* You’re right, MonkeyHawk. Thanks for setting me straight and for the nice words.

    #325 Team MP – I used to use recycling bins and a couple of times I had to rinse mine out when a little soda dribbled out. But I just hosed it really quick and put it back in place, I didn’t let it sit there long enough to require Washing it. See it, clean it, you’re done. Apparently the FOOBS are so damn lazy they are used to pawning off chores until everything is nasty.

  328. Gabe
    January 21st, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    322: My understanding of the arctic wastleland of Canada indicates that it IS always mid fall to winter. Mostly winter.

  329. ChefMike
    January 21st, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I just noticed, if you dye Mary’s hair blonde and put it in a pony tail, you have Greta Weber. I guess it is convenient, though, that now there’s something that Mary can save Jeff from. I for one was rooting for her to get totally lost in Vietnam, but somehow miraculously the kindness of random strangers led her right to Greta Weber (Bizzaro Mary Worth) and by proxy to Jeff Cory

  330. LL
    January 21st, 2007 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    Double-you tee eff! Over three hundred comments on one thread? I can’t read all this.

  331. Dicky
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: I just went through all of the FBOFW archives and the few months more that the chron has and found a total of 34 strips where Warren is referenced or appears. I wanted to put them to some version of Ring of Fire (and maybe place that Phantom plane crash as the final frame). Is that all of the face time that he’s ever had?!
    Oh, and in my excessive FOOB exposure this morning, I know that it’s not as egregious an evil as having just about every non-blood related straight male of Liz’s age fall for her, but her escort to Anthony’s wedding, a gay man with whom Lawrence arranged the meeting, had the apparent infatuation that most males undergo in her presence. I understand the emotion, mind you, but in moderation!
    One white bread woman from some Canadian suburb should not have such pull. If this is the case, she should be considered a WMD, as she is a threat to all heterosexual males. And then we’d have a reason to invade Canada, besides same-sex marriage, universal healthcare, and pretty Canadian boys~

  332. Uncle Lumpy
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    #330 LL -

    Yes you can! Follow the example of #331 Dicky, who spent a whole Sunday morning mired in FOOB for our edification!

  333. bobbaloo
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    i have NEVER been able to get sunday comix on the chron page…u mean the rest of you could/can? wtf?

  334. Richard Onley
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    #312: Read Fritz Leiber’s short story “Space-Time for Springers” for another eerie take on cats.

  335. Dicky
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    330/332: I have a thing that I have to read all of the other comments before posting. It takes a while, but it goes fast… especially with all of the song parodies nowadays…
    And seriously, going back through the FOOB archives has actually made me more aware of the evils of that universe… I’d rather not do it again…

    333 Bobbaloo: You can just change the date in the URL from an individual comic to a Sunday date. I have only ever been able to see the color comics in this way. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen a black and white comic with a Sunday strip uploaded.

  336. TB Tabby
    January 21st, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    331: Hmm…you have a point there, Dicky. Perhaps there’s more to Liz’s poularity wigth men than meets the eye. Perhaps she’s the Gorgeous Giselle of Foobville.

  337. kostia
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    How lost can they be? Isn’t that a fence in the background? This looks like the woods behind the house I grew up in, where you could TOTALLY get lost, as long as you didn’t, you know, look around.

  338. Foobaphobe
    January 22nd, 2007 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers are getting uglier and grimmer every day. FBOFW and Family Circus have turned dark and threatening. Is this Funky Winkerbeanism ever going to stop its pernicious spread?

  339. Jack Parsons
    June 3rd, 2007 at 5:00 am [Reply]

    In June 2 MT, we find that County Commish Redhead-guy is blowing up like
    M. Creosote. Sensing impending doom, a worm is frantically escaping his hairline.

    “It’s just a woffer-thin pornstache.”

  340. Mike Z
    September 3rd, 2009 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Did you notice that “Jumble” had two characters in the Flat Rate one that looked a lot like Newman and Kramer?

  341. Mike Z
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    I doubled clicked

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