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Panel from Slylock Fox, 11/16/25

Poor Slick Smitty. He thought he had found a way to beat Slylock at his own game by not technically lying as part of his scheme. Even Slylock had to chuckle ruefully and acknowledge that the sign said “see the signing clam,” not “hear” it! Sadly, if you flip your screen upside down, you will learn that Slylock was able to “convince” Smitty to return his customers’ money, presumably by threatening him with the full force of the Forest Kingdom’s monopoly on violence, even though he violated no law, because that’s just how the new regime rolls when it comes to humans. The clam presumably remained enslaved.

Crankshaft, 11/16/25

Look, not to get close to finding Crankshaft relatable or anything, but a thing about getting older is that you’ll think “C’mon, this aspect of culture is relatively recent,” and then you look it up and it’s actually like 10 or 15 years old, and there are plenty of people who are full-on adults now who would never remember a time it didn’t exist. Anyway, I was about to go on a quest to figure out when the whole pickleball craze took off, got as far as some suggestions that the game (which has been around since the ’60s, and was invented by the last Republican to serve as Lieutenant Governor of Washington) became popular as an outdoor activity during the COVID-19 lockdowns, then dug into my archives and discovered that these teen twins were tweens or maybe even younger in a 2021 strip and decided, you know what? I’m gonna let this one go. I’ll allow it. Ha ha, to a young person, ping pong would seem like a pickleball variant, wouldn’t it?

Dick Tracy, 11/16/25

“Oh ho ho,” quite a few of you said, last week, “I’ll bet Rojo Ozob is some kind of villainous clown, what with ‘Ozob’ being an anagram for ‘Bozo.'” Well, you were right. There he is, plain as day: a villainous clown, realistic, tough-looking, and maybe even a little sexy. I hope you’re all happy. God have mercy on your souls.

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Pardon My Planet, 11/15/25

Truly, this is a dark vision of an alternate timeline where the British won the American War of Independence and brought Patrick Henry and the other revolutionary leaders back to England to be publicly executed for treason. Pretty grim stuff from a strip that has, up to this point, had as its main thesis the proposition that “women be shopping.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/15/25

I love how everyone is just kind of scratching their chins in a quizzical way here. Is there any particular reason he’s telling this to a clergyman? Does that make it more, or possibly less, menacing? Nobody is sure, exactly.

Mary Worth, 11/15/25

Earlier this week, I made a joke implying a budding sexual relationship between Toby and a parrot. This was immature of me and I apologize. In fact, what’s happening is that the parrot is becoming Toby’s first ever real friend, which is infinitely sadder.

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Yeah, man! It’s the COTW! And it goes a little something … like this!

“It’s been obvious for a while that these two aren’t humans exactly, but today provides a little more insight into their biology. So far we can describe them as small oviparous homonids lacking teeth, probably an adaptation to the rocky crags where they evolved, preying in seabird nests.” –pugfuggly

And the very funny runners up are here too!!!!

“Round up the kids in detention, we’re taking them to The Museum of Art Puns to suffer.” –nescio

“We are such social animals that anyone deprived of human companionship will slowly go insane, even if the human whose companionship they’re deprived of is Ian Cameron.” –matt w

“Hang him from where, troops? HANG HIM FROM WHERE?” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I had believed until last week that Greg was the guy at the DMV who told you that you were missing a piece of documentation after you stood in line for an hour and that you had to go get it and stand in the line again. But then we learned he’s the guy who tells teenagers they can’t have their licenses because they bumped the curb parking. Why does he even NEED coffee for a day filled with such joy?” –richardf8

“‘The kid is onto me,’ thinks Greg. ‘I just pray he never finds out whose boot it was.’” –Peanut Gallery

“Hootin’ Holler still uses snow and ice to preserve food, as electricity is rare and service is spotty. Lil Sparky just ate a family’s entire vitamin supply for a week, and they will now suffer even worse malnutrition than the average Holler resident.” –Philip

“I’m always fascinated by the crystal ball Shoe strips. All of the characters are bitter cynics, so why do they keep going to crack wise at the local fortune teller? Is this what people resorted to in the days before social media let you mock WitchTok from the comfort of your own couch?” –Schroduck

“Thirsty yearns for the olden times that he’s never experienced but has heard about, when beer was considered ‘liquid bread,’ a way to quickly, easily, and safely hydrate and obtain necessary calories at the same time. This is not comical, this is a tragic tale of a man born three hundred years too late.” –Tom

“What’s that you say? You have ‘evidence’ before you secure an indictment? You say you wait for indictments before executing rough street justice? You say your suspects are not grotesquely deformed, with too on-the-nose names? My, my, my. To each their own, I suppose. [Caressing pistol trigger lovingly] I sure hope he turns out to be a clown, though.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Which is a euphemism for what really happens. They fuck. Each other. Constantly and interchangeably. This is Hollywood, kid. You’re too young to understand this now, but it won’t be long before curiosity leads you to flip through the supermarket pages of People and the National Enquirer and all will be revealed.” –cheech wizard

“Those corks indicate each of these wines have been opened. Is ‘Clea-ar-ance’ located in the BacqueWash region of Frawnce?” –Virginia

“His doctor has long given up on him. His wife is checking his life insurance policy. He knows his diet is killing him, but he cannot stop. ‘Next time,’ he promises himself, but ‘next time’ will never come. His fate is sealed as the future body at an open casket funeral where a dog man asks his wife ‘who is this for again?’ and the caption is ‘You’re a plugger if you’ve been to so many funerals, you’ve lost track.’” –Old Man Shadow

“The guy totally in shadow with the mysterious, ominous axiom — he’s death, right? The only reason Herb is smiling is that he’s come for Jamaal.” –Lawyerbob

“Oh, right, my bucket list included seeing a sunset. Welp, there it is. Time to die.” –Voshkod

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