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Blondie, 1/28/26

Oh, man, I was all ready to go on a riff about how this is clearly a joke about the idea of a celebrity “hall pass,” e.g., the idea that a monogamous couple would give permission to each other to sleep with specific celebrity crushes, safe in the knowledge that it’s never going to actually happen, but then got sanitized down to the idea of “dining” with a celebrity, even though “dining” is transparently not what this is about, but then I got to the last panel and discovered that the Blondie brain trust is aware of the existence of Sydney Sweeney, and I’m sorry, that’s way too contemporary a reference. Nobody in Blondie should know about anything that’s happened after, oh, let’s say, 2013. “Is Emily Ratajkowski on their list?” is a punchline I’ll allow for this one. Anyone newer than that? No thanks.

Mark Trail, 1/28/26

Speaking of things that are and are not new, what about nature? Pretty old, right? Old and boring? It’s existed for billions of years? Well what about phones though? What if there were a nature crisis … about kids and phones, and kids stealing each other’s nature photography, via phones? That’d be pretty cutting edge, right? The perfect mix of the old and the new? A falcon, right there on your phone? Mark Trail is going to have to punch file metadata by the end of this somehow?

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Family Circus, 1/27/26

Look, we’re pretty mean to Jeffy on this website, and for obvious reasons: he’s pretty stupid, he’s very annoying, etc. Sometimes, though, we lose sight of the fact that he’s three years old, and those are in fact qualities that most three-year-olds share, so maybe we shouldn’t be so hard on him. On the other hand, he’s extremely smug. Look at that face! What have you got to be so proud of, kid? The finger thing? It doesn’t even make sense. It’s just not something you should feel good about saying. We definitely don’t feel good about hearing it.

Mary Worth, 1/27/26

Oh wow. That “go on” says volumes. This whole parrot business has been an excuse to force Ian into a struggle session about his many shortcomings. Additional parrots will be introduced into the situation until Ian’s mind is completely shattered and Toby can begin the long process of building him back up as someone who’s vaguely bearable to live with.

Blondie, 1/27/26

“I routinely suffer physical abuse that no worker should be forced to bear in a free society! Don’t you read this strip?”

Curtis, 1/27/26

That’s right, Curtis! You’ve killed your beloved! Now you must live with the guilt and shame … forever.

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Wizard of Id, 1/26/26

I guess a running bit in the Wizard of Id now is that the titular wizard is encountering aspects of contemporary life one by one and commenting on them as an outsider, and, look, I’ll allow it if all we get is some mildly corny jokes about emo, but I have to draw the line at “the Wizard sees women wearing much more revealing outfits than he’s used to in his culture and gets horny about it.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/26/26

Oh, man, it’s gonna be Buck, right? June’s going to get Buck, the soap opera comics’ biggest drip, who doesn’t have much going on beyond scouring Etsy for dumb nostalgic bullshit, to “cover” for her in terms of providing Rex with emotional reassurance? This is gonna be great. Rex is going to open his newly healed eyes only to lunge for the nearest scalpel so he can gouge them out and never look Buck’s stupid face again.

Dick Tracy, 1/26/26

Being a one-off ancillary character in Dick Tracy seems like a mixed bag. On the one hand, they get to wear cool outfits and have sexy, drunken adventures! On the other, they tend to stumble upon horribly mangled corpses much more than you or I would.

Hi and Lois, 1/26/26

“Plus Marky Mark is out there drowning somewhere! It’s a win all around!”