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Hi and Lois, 3/10/26

Not sure why everyone in this panel, including the lady behind the ticket desk, looks so God-damned smug. There’s no reason for it, not least because, if Ditto is operating the spotlight, it’s definitely not going to be on Britney. Based on what I’ve seen of his overall competence, they’ll be lucky if it’s even pointing at the stage.

Gearhead Gertie, 3/10/26

Oh, man, Gearhead Gertie died, you guys. She fell thousands of feet into the Grand Canyon and died in a horrible car wreck. I’d say she will be missed, but, honestly, probably not that much. I mean, her husband doesn’t seem that broken up about it, and for good reason.

Blondie, 3/10/26

Ha ha, it’s funny because Dagwood is so terrified of being alone with his own thoughts for even a single moment that his brain will simply spontaneously shut down when faced with the possibility!

Mary Worth, 3/10/26

“Hmm, is it possible that Harvey became enraged and stormed off because my advice was too good?” is absolutely top-notch Mary Worth. I’m standing up at my desk and saluting right now, that’s how incredible this is.

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Hi and Lois, 3/9/26

Happy Monday, everyone! It’s another week and another entry in what’s quickly becoming my favorite genre in the comics: Hi and Lois muses melancholy on a single, ephemeral moment and forgets to deliver a punchline. “Isn’t this what the groundhog predicted?” Hi says, barely audible — but that’s fine, as he isn’t really talking to Lois anyway. “Isn’t it true that none of us can bend Fate to our liking?”

Archie, 3/9/26

Archie is traditionally a happy-go-lucky guy who rarely experiences distress deeper than some minor romantic slight at the hands of one of his two beautiful girlfriends. I’m not saying I like the fact that he’s experiencing some sort of profound mental disturbance right now, but at least it adds a little depth to his character.

Mary Worth, 3/9/26

Oh wow. Oh wow. Exactly the wrong thing to say, Harvey. Mary was going to try to gently guide you away from your current troubles by means of her judicious advice. But now? Now she’ll simply watch impassively as you let your sexual urges and romantic vanity override your good sense and lose everything, until you’ve sent your last bitcoin and abruptly stop receiving blatantly AI-generated photos of a twentysomething gal with a huge rack, until you need to take the bus down to the pawn shop to hock your only remaining cravat. You’ll look up and shout “Save me!” and she’ll look down and whisper “No.”

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Mary Worth, 3/8/26

Five years ago, Mary tried to broach the question of whether Estelle was being grifted rather gingerly. With Harvey, she’s being somewhat more direct, and it immediately blew up in her face, though maybe that’s just his masculine pride kicking in and driving him to comically storm out of the room. It’s just like beloved [note to self: look up what kind of job “B.C. Forbes” has held or what sort of person they are before publishing this post and insert description here] “B.C. Forbes” says: if you don’t have your life savings drained every few years or so by a Cambodian-based criminal syndicate, you were leaving legitimate opportunities to have sex with hot babes much younger than you on the table!

Shoe, 3/8/26

I know, I know this is a perennial gripe of mine, but: You absolutely cannot do whimsical jokes about birds in a comic strip where everyone is a bird. This is a joke about a number of these characters’ peers committing violent, awful suicide! It’s pretty believable that they’d do it, since all the bird-people in this strip are very depressed, and with good reason, since they live in a world dominated by sapient birds where nevertheless KFC is a viable business.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 3/8/26

Now, this strip? Where Slylock Fox, a sapient animal cop in a world dominated by sapient animals, is providing enhanced security to a wealthy and influential sapient animal who is fairly obviously wearing a fur coat? That doesn’t make me mad at all. That’s just how the world works. That’s a mystery that kids need to learn how to solve a lot more than anything about gloves and how people won’t pick up just one lying there by itself no matter how lovely it is.