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Dick Tracy, 11/25/25

Ah, man, remember the Dick Tracy vampire car storyline from 2016? It was a fun one, and I personally would follow the principle of “don’t stop in the middle of your not-so-interesting storyline to remind your readers of a more interesting one,” but I’m not in charge of Dick Tracy. I do appreciate that advances in solid state storage have allowed Dick to keep a 3D image of a cool vampire car on his watch, for him to amuse himself with whenever the conversation about clown crime gets tedious.

Mary Worth, 11/25/25

It appears that Mary Worth takes place in a universe very much like our own, with the crucial difference that television never invented the concept of a studio audience or a laugh track; instead, the characters themselves laugh in an aggressive, artificial way to let the audience know that a joke has just happened.

Blondie, 11/25/25

When Dagwood says “Are you ready to take Thanksgiving to another level?”, it should come as no surprise that it’s a sex thing. The hat stays on, ladies.

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Dick Tracy, 11/24/25

“Can’t believe this clown would rather cut people’s brake lines for money instead of building elaborate funny cars for the mafia. Nobody wants to work anymore!”

Pluggers, 11/24/25

Not sure if the joke here is “pluggers are lazy and listless, and look for ways to postpone even the simplest chores as long as possible” or “pluggers shit a lot, and messily.”

Mary Worth, 11/24/25

Wait, does Toby think Sunny’s entire species was smuggled over the border from Mexico, only to die en masse in a trucking accident? Can’t believe I’m just now putting this together, but is she, like … dumb dumb?

Shoe, 11/24/25

It was 51 years ago! That’s actually a pretty easy fact to look up.

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Blondie, 11/23/25

Two very important details here. One, Dagwood has his handkerchief out and at the ready when he knocks on Herb’s door. He’s already on the verge of tears and knows he won’t be able to hold back once this conversation starts — the conversation that he thinks will be among the last with his best friend while they’re still neighbors, before they inevitably begin to drift apart. The second is that Herb clearly put Tootsie up to relay the strategically redacted information about his career prospects to Blondie precisely in order to set up this scenario, and to exploit his friend’s soft heart. Never have I felt more tenderly towards Dagwood, or more harshly towards Herb!

Mary Worth, 11/23/25

Oh no! Toby’s beloved friend Sunny had a backstory, and that backstory is that he was illegally trafficked into California! I guess Toby and Sunny are about to go on an Incredible Journey-style journey to find Sunny’s real home, in the compound of the Mexican parrot smuggling gang where he was born. Will they still accept him, now that he laughs like Ross from Friends all the time?

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/23/25

On one level of conceptual reality, R2-D2 is a droid living a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, and on another level R2-D2 is Kenny Baker and a series of other actors inside a mechanical prop in various movies and TV shows put out by Lucasfilm. Or, in Mother Goose and Grimm, R2-D2 is an actor who had a movie career, presumably playing R2-D2 the character in the Star Wars movies? I don’t find this mix of narrative planes very coherent, to be quite honest, and I don’t think it’s funny to make R2-D2 into a coffee machine either. He helped blow up the Death Star! Show some respect.