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Pluggers, 4/23/07

Not much of interest to say about today’s Pluggers, except that “Greg Harruff” is actually faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader gh, who, having seen this feature many times on this blog, realized that the easiest way to get his submission accepted would be to go down the oft-trod “Pluggers are obese” route.

Greg wrote me to say that the Chief Plugger never responded to his submission, which he sent in six weeks ago or so, and that he only found out it had been accepted when he saw it live and in the ink today. Greg also requested that the thanks go to his pseudonym of “GH”, which request was, as you can see, not honored. This, I have to say, is Not Classy. You might think based on the content of TDIET that Al Scaduto is tightly wound ball of hate-filled rage, but in fact he sends a cheery and gentlemanly response to everyone who submits ideas to him, whether he uses them or not; and if he does make a cartoon out of your submission, he’ll send you a copy of it, and he’s happy to credit it to “No Name Please” or “Many Husbands Across the U.S.A.” or (as in today’s) “Fed-Up Wifey” if that’s what you want. I guess pluggers are simple folk who just don’t expect to be treated with an ounce of consideration.

Apartment 3-G, 4/23/07

The Apartment 3-G Lu Ann storyline continues to be deathly dull, and this is about the fourth iteration of essentially this girl-ghost confrontation, but I just had a brainstorm this morning when I read it: what if “Albert Pinkham Ryder” is actually Eric Mills in an elaborate disguise? (Not that it would have to be particularly elaborate to fool Lu Ann.) It would explain his mysterious absences, and we’ve already seen that he has some horribly misguided belief in Lu Ann’s artistic talent; presumably he’s trying to generate more revenue for himself as her impresario by forcing her to churn more mediocre fern paintings out. It’s possibly the most moronic and inefficient use of his time to get rich that I can think of, but he also apparently believes that he can toy with Margo’s affections (among other things) without ending up eviscerated by her razor-sharp claws, so he’s clearly not very bright.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/23/07

Boy, for a while there Rex Morgan was all about plane crashes and rescue squads and corporate intrigue and family drama. Thank God we’ve moved on to something really exciting.

Slylock Fox, 4/23/07

Oh, goody! Let’s have a double date! We’ll nestle on the couch by the fire, drinking hot tea and eating cookies. We can look at Slylock’s collection of antique clocks and car-shaped trophies (he’s so proud of the one he won for FIRST), and we can have ever so much fun challenging each other with brain teasers! Then, after about an hour of that, the orgy will start.

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While we wait for something even vaguely interesting to happen in the current Mary Worth storyline, let’s take a trip in the wayback machine to 1980. Faithful reader Andrew Leal shared with me some scanned strips from the closing days of the Carter Administration that first introduced us to everybody’s favorite grandstanding oddball, Ian Cameron, and his wife/arm candy Toby. This first strip presages his arrival at Charterstone, proving that Mary has always been a hateful xenophobe who thinks names such as “Ian Cameron” somehow qualify as “exotic.”

Now that you’re almost engaged, Sara, talking to another man would obviously make you a hussy, so it’s best if you don’t serve as Ian’s guide. You should put on your burqa and go back to the women’s chambers in your father’s condo instead.

Sometime later, Toby Cameron related to her new home’s resident meddler just how she and her husband met. He was drunk, obviously.

It’s interesting that Toby was apparently once some kind of artist slumming around the Village in New York. I guess it’s true that inside every creative hipster bohemian, there’s a tracksuit-clad, dead-eyed trophy wife who does nothing all day but gossip with women twice her age trying to get out.

Finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the man himself.

So, yeah, he’s pretty much always been a prick. They seem to have toned down the drinking a bit, though. And made him a bit less leonine.

Also, since any discussion of the Camerons’ love life is enough to turn you off heterosexuality altogether: I’ve been meaning for a while to link to faithful reader Alex Blaze’s excellent Qomics for Queers blog. What I did for the Rex and Troy storyline in Rex Morgan he does for … well, pretty much all comics, basically.

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No time to waste! Here’s this week’s top comment!

“I don’t get Gil Thorp in my daily paper (I don’t get it in a broader sense either), but I love the idea of this deranged coot with his clothes on inside out and backwards popping out of nowhere to offer vaguely obscene batting advice.” –Motorposus

It was awful tricky to pick just one comment this week: as you can see, I had an embarrassment of riches to work with:

“Just out of curiosity, how many weeks has it been since Deanna has actually had a line? Mr. Buns is a more well-rounded character with a much larger impact on the storyline than St. Mike’s baby-machine. There are guys in the Taliban with more demonstrative wives.” –Mr. Coffee Nerves

“Nothing, oh nothing makes Margo happy, does it? She’s running on cocaine, caffeine, and pure unadulterated paranoia and jealousy.” –calico

“Rex has to ‘stall Hugh.’ I’m sure he’ll find a way. Maybe involving an actual stall. (It’s clear that was a ‘butt sex in a men’s bathroom’ joke, right? Right? Okay.)” –Laura

“To be fair to Mark, in his everyday experience he probably recognizes and distinguishes animals of the same species by subtle but distinct markings that are generally fixed. A coloration pattern on a deer probably will not change completely in a short period of time. Indeed, in his experience most people don’t even change their clothing. I’m just surprised he’s not conducting his observations from some sort of mobile duck blind.” –Harold

“I am on the edge of my seat!!! Will Abbey and Neddy escape their assailants?! Who is the mystery man approaching??? Oh, wow, I guess I could sit back a little. Yeah, that’s more comfortable.” –Maughta

“Maybe I should start reading Gil Thorp so I can know what everyone is talking about. Of course, it used to be, ‘Maybe I should start reading Mark Trail so I can know what everyone is talking about.’ And before that, Mary Worth. It’s a slippery slope.” –Lizardmess

“I look forward to hearing more home-spun, medication-induced, clambaked wisdom from this confused, elfin stereotype.” –PeteMoss

“Yep, now we’ve progressed from incest to murder. I think I’ll refrain from asking ‘What’s next?’, seeing that this is where we ended up after the rounds of plaintive querying following Band Leader 2: The Deafening, or Chemo 9: This Used to be My Playground, or … you get the picture.” –SecretMargo

“(DT)GT will now gives us all a history lesson steeped in lessons Jackie Robinson taught us. Well, in the first panel anyway. The second will have some boygirl swinging at a pitch and the final panel will have Coach Thorp talking about the golf team.” –Jim Thorp(e)

“Sam’s reaction makes perfect sense assuming he’s learned anything at all about Margo in his time on the job. Margo MARRIED? Margo IN LOVE? Margo SMILING CUTELY? Margo WITHOUT CAKED BLOOD UNDER ANY FINGERNAILS? It boggles the throwaway assistant’s mind!” –T Campbell

“So Michael will be able to spend his nights in the same bed in which many years ago he was created. Therapy begins in 3..2..1…” –man behind the curtain

“I’m afraid that Margo has been reading The Secret. By emoting positive thoughts regarding marriage, she believes that Eric will propose. Margo, Margo, Margo. You’ll be lucky if his check covering the party doesn’t bounce.” –Dingo

“Looking at the shape of Margo’s hand in panel 3 and the bobble lines surrounding it, I have come to the conclusion that she is threatening her assistant by a pantomime of waving a gun at him. ‘That’s right, married! Question me again and I will end you!'” –Spoony Bard

“Do you think that Margo’s pique over being mistaken for the help has anything to do with her refusal to address her assistant unless she is dismissively talking to him over her shoulder as she moves on to something worthy of her time?” –ugarte

“You know, we haven’t known Sam long but I’m pulling for him and Margo to hook up. Yep, I’m a Sargo Shipper. The look of terror and confusion is really just longing and sadness over the fact that as much as he loves her she doesn’t seem to notice him. He wants to express his love for her but he can’t find the words. But every time he shakes for no reason he means ‘I love you.’ It’s a crazy world but I think these two kids have a chance. Besides, I long to see what great event planning skills they’d bring to their wedding. Pinecone centerpieces? A large banner reading ‘Margo Loves Married?'” –Missy

“Dan’s major mistake? It’s foolishly adding more hair to hide himself from Mark. Anyone who knows Mark Trail knows that facial hair will bring his suspicion and punches faster than a beaver out of a trap. Dan would have been better off shaving himself from head to toe.” –evie oh oh

“Like all Canadians, Cedric isn’t nervous when he shoots someone. He’s just frightfully polite and self-effacingly apologetic about it.” –Trilobite

“I’m also pretty sure [Toni]’s screwing with him in a major way; if so, Toni has suddenly become the most awesomest character in the strip. From Toni Daytona: Unobtainable Fantasy Cipher to Toni Daytona: Heinous Sadistic Bitch: She Will Cut You, Tiffany.” –Captain Thunder

“This entry confirms what I’ve long suspected: TDIET is Seinfeld for rageaholics.” –Hobbes Fan

“Here’s the thing that disturbs me: People [Lu Ann] lives with day in and day out have been ignoring her this whole time, or intending to drop in on her but change their mind at the last minute due to shiny objects or in Margo’s case, horniness.” –True Fable

“‘… my thoughts are so tangled … lights are flashing before my eyes … floor is moving beneath my feet.’ Lu Ann, dear, I do believe you’re having yourself an orgasm. Congratulations! Just don’t tell Margo. Naturally, she’s under the impression that she’s the only person on the planet that’s experienced this thing. And she wouldn’t understand that it doesn’t usually involve blood and other people’s tears.” –lesles

“Today’s FBOFW is stupid. Yes, it’s always stupid, but today’s is stupid without any stupidity that pokes its head up above the horizon to have its hat shot off. There’s no stupidity prominence; it’s stupid to the flat, vast horizon. Like an Oklahoma of stupid.” –Kate

And big ups to the advertisers who bankroll this operation:

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