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Funky Winkerbean, 9/6/07

Yeah, Crazy Harry — smells like something crawled in there and died. But this is Funky Winkerbean, so it’s probably a puppy. Or your Mom.

Mary Worth, 9/6/07

Mary Worth is pushing this “lost in the funhouse” plot a little too literally. What’s that behind the glass in panel 2 — a leprechaun or a four-foot trophy?

Phantom, 9/5/07, 9/6/07

OK. “Tagger” Tendai wants to sit home and draw her dream hero, who will turn out to be the Phantom: “Then I woke up, and it was all reality!” Nice. But look at those locations: what is this, Westchester County, Africa?

— Uncle Lumpy

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Galactic Emperors sure are fun — but they leave a big mess! Your contribution will help us tidy up the joint:

We now return to our regularly-scheduled conquest!

Apartment 3G, Cathy, Gil Thorp, For Better or For Worse

Magmacannons… FIRE!

ATTENTION EARTHERS! YOUR GALACTIC EMPEROR FEELS YOUR PAIN! OR TO BE MORE EXACT, HE RE-DIRECTS IT AT YOUR MOST LOATHED COMIC CHARACTERS! CHENNUX MAGMACANNONS THE COMICS SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! HAHA!

CHENNUX DECLARES ‘MISSION ACCOMPLISHED’ AND THANKS YOU FOR THE RAW SNARKONIUM PRODUCED OVER THE PAST EARTHER DAY! UNCLE LUMPY WILL TAKE OVER THE SITE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE! GIVE HIM A FEW HOURS TO RECOVER FROM THE BRAIN REINSTALLMENT PROCEDURE AND HE’LL BE FINE! UNTIL THEN, A FEW THINGS TO PONDER…

Gil Thorp, 9/6/07

…AND CULLY VALE STOMPS OFF, SILHOUETTED BY THE LIGHT OF THE VILLAGERS’ TORCHES!

Cathy, 9/6/07

EARTHERS! EXPLAIN TO CHENNUX! IS CLEANING OUT CATHY’S ‘STORAGE ROOM’ THE SAME AS ‘CLEANING JUNE’S GARAGE’ IN REX MORGAN MD? IF SO, EVEN CHENNUX GOES, “EWWWWWW!”

END TRANSMISSION!

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Henry

Like Fred Basset, Henry is seldom funny. But it offers a sweet, simply illustrated, quiet look at mildly humorous situations among decent people who care about another: a respite.

This clip, by the way, is from Bulls Press in Norway. I suppose one benefit of writing a pantomime strip is that it’s easy to translate! Also, apparently “SLAM!” is the same in English and Norsk! Who knew? It’s fortunate for them, because onomatopoeia doesn’t always . . . .

ATTENTION EARTHERS! REMAIN AS CALM AS POSSIBLE WHILE CRINGING IN TERROR! PANICKING ONLY MAKES YOU TOUGH AND STRINGY!

GALACTIC EMPEROR CHENNUX HAS SEIZED CONTROL OF THIS WEBSITE! THE PREVIOUS CONTENT HAS BEEN MAGMACANNONED! THE EARTHER CALLED UNCLE LUMPY WAS ABOUT TO INFLICT A STRIP OF MASSIVE LAMENESS UPON YOU! YOU WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PRODUCE THE WEAPONS-GRADE SNARKONIUM THAT THE EMPIRE REQUIRES! IT BECAME NECESSARY TO CONQUER YOU FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! SOMEDAY, YOU’LL THANK ME!

NOW THAT CHENNUX IS IN CONTROL, Chennux has no need to shout! Chennux will talk to earthers in a refined manner, one that suits a Galactic Emperor talking with his slaves, minions and possible breakfast! Haha!

Now, on to the snarking! Chennux apologizes for the charred edges of some comics! Like the old proverb goes, you can’t take over a planet without burning something flammable! Haha!

F Minus, 09/5/07

See? Flames are funny!

Crock, 9/5/07

Carnivorous butterflies! Surely that is worth snarking about!

Apartment 3G, 9/5/07

The one called Margo will not play nice! She will eat paste and run with scissors!

Now, get snarking! YOUR EMPEROR COMMANDS IT!

END TRANSMISSION!