Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/18/10
Holy cow, you guys, I’ve been totally neglecting my duties to bring you the latest Rex Morgan storyline, mostly because it hasn’t even started out interesting, and we all know that the Rex Morgan problem is that Rex Morgan starts interesting and then gets boring, so who even knows how dull this is going to get. Anyway, to summarize briefly: Berna, Rex and June’s receptionist, won the lottery, and she insists that non-financial experts Rex and June manage her winnings. Today we learn why: she was once rich herself, heiress to a vast hardware store fortune, but all that money was swindled away by a MONEY MANAGER. This would be Berna’s superhero origin story, if being terrified of having all your money stolen by a financial planner were a superpower, which, for the record, it is not. Rex and June are so shocked by this shocking revelation that the blue goo that sloshes around the parts of their skull where ordinary humans keep their brains has started to leak out through their temples.
Mary Worth, 1/18/11
I have of course been giving you near-daily updates on Mary Worth, since it continues to be amazing. Today, after belching forth the language-like utterance “I’m glad because I feel the same!”, Scott, his eyes suddenly glowing orange, thrusts his simian face into Adrian’s personal space. Watch as she playfully/desperately attempts to keep him at a distance. Save it for the honeymoon, tiger!
Apartment 3-G, 1/18/11
Remember last year, when the Apartment 3-G drama was driven by Tommie’s anxiety over Lu Ann and Margo’s bickering? Well, I guess her newfound confidence has put an end to that. “Yawn! Borr-ing! Get back to me when you gals start pulling each other’s hair, OK?”
Meanwhile, the bird-men of Shoe are apparently peeing on each other, what the hell.